#it has literally been a decade thats fucking insane

[bootyful-seventeen]

hey y'all, anyone have any good stress relief tehniques or habits they'd like to share cuz I've been more stressed in the last 3 weeks then I was in the last 6 months

[brainjvice]

Yapping about Kaiser (again)

No because I was thinking about Kaiser's narcissistic traits and how fucking SPOT ON they are its insane.

The hierarchy. The fact kaiser thinks in hierarchies. And its shown pretty explicitly via that one panel of noa and isagi on the stairs and Kaiser looking at them from below after his delusions got shattered.

That + him perceiving(!) Ness as a dog because he is inferior in his hierarchy scale.

And this is such a dismissed trait yet it's The most important when it comes to how narcissistic people navigate interpersonal relationships.

There's always someone inferior. There may be someone superior, too. Unless you're delusional enough. Then you're actually God.

And to think Ness is the main enabler* of those "delusions", esp when it comes to grandiosity, another narcissistic trait Kaiser displays.

*specifying i am not victim blaming Ness

Without Kaiser taking advantage of his fragility, without Ness grabbing onto the single spark that Kaiser had shown him (via... calling him a loser? Lmfao), the kaiser-centric system in bm would not exist.

So Kaiser went from being dismissed by the whole team due to his antisocial behavior/inability to navigate the "human" world to being praised non-stop and considered the fundamental player in their team.

Considering how Kaiser has never received love or recognition beforehand, he got lost in it and got greedy. Kaiser pre chara development is just your local feral stray cat who you adopted and now believes he is the king of the house. I seriously do not blame him for that ngl.

(Esp since he Is a good player. So his delusions werent actually that delusional yk.)

He does think he is The shit though, except at the time he was a v static player. He got too comfortable in the security of ness' passes, too dependent on it, which made his game more predictable and didn't let him evolve to reach his full potential.

I think, with time, his grandiosity may fade a bit, since to me it was strictly linked to Ness and the kaiser-centric system used by BM. That + it is a double edged sword, since it actually slows you down into becoming your better self. If you alreadythibk you're the greatest, there's not much room left for development.

And Kaiser is smart and is actually quite self conscious enough to not fall in past mistakes, not now that he has finally gotten the grasps of how to become a better player. He is a pro when it comes to survival, after all.

So yeah, grandiosity is def not Kaiser's main trait imo. The hierarchy, his callousness and his sadism (his malice) are probably more "pronounced" in his personality, although neither callousness nor sadism are inherently linked to narcissism.

Now, as I just said, sadism is common in people who display narcissistic behaviour but its not inherently narcissistic. It may be linked to antisociality, as well as trauma or repressed rage.

Kaiser, who's been unable to react to his father's abuse for YEARS, has, in fact, more than a decade worth of repressed rage. Except – once again – he does not rebel to whom he considers stronger/superior in his hierarchy.

In this case he sorta acts like your typical bully. Can't react towards an "authority" so he picks on weaker/inferior people. Kaiser feasts on them. But of course, there's no satisfaction into crushing npcs, yk. Hence all that disney villain type of monologue about how Isagi was finally big enough to devour (gay methinks, but thats not the point). Again. Big enough to get the sadistic satisfaction of crushing him but not too big, at least in Kaiser's mind.

(Except karma is a bitch and so is Isagi.)

Also. Can I say that I love how when Kaiser is not masking, he is the literal definition of the person standing emoji. Which is kinda funny but its actually so fucking real. Whoever has experienced dissociation, depersonalisation or derealization knows the drill. And dissociative disorders are sooo so common when it comes to trauma, esp when it comes to physical abuse. Kaiser's perception of his own body is probably so messed up. He got beat up till he bled like almost every day. Kaiser's body was for his father to use as a punching ball for YEARS. Since he was a CHILD.

So, of course, the second kaiser got actual autonomy on his body (for the first time ever!!!) he asked for a tattoo. Because now he gets to customise it as a way to make it his own.

It's his body now.

Also, his lack of empathy/callousness absolutely comes from trauma. Living in a violent environment, being forced to use your reptilian brain 24/7 does not do well to a child, and definitely doesn't help the correct development of certain parts of your brain when it comes to emotions. And Kaiser is still on survival mode.

Tbh. Kaiser's cptsd is severe and deeply intertwined in his personality and how he acts and lives. Even the hierarchy trait is strictly linked to his childhood: eat or get eaten. His father treated him like an extension of himself, a worthless object.

His ability to read people and to recognise Ness as easy prey probably comes from when he used to steal from people. You know, you need to learn quickly how to spot certain patterns and find the perfect victim to rob. He is used to analyse and read people. He just lacked the ability to manipulate since his experiences with people were limited.

I'm gonna be honest he would be a difficult patient to properly diagnose, considering his backstory. C-ptsd is the only thing I'm certain of.

((I think if his mental state ever becomes a nuisance in Kaiser's plan to become his best version, he would resort to therapy.))

((Much to think about but now im tired so i will end this here))

[chirpycloudyrobin]

Previous || Masterlist || START || Next

it's in the dead of night when wei wuxian meets hua cheng and xie lian again right in the middle of the jingshi

to wwx, hua cheng was. hm. how shld wwx describe him ?

",,, dad ,,,?"

"... do i LOOK—"

okay but in all seriousness wwx never wouldve fully pieced his soul together back in the burial mounds in the amount of time he did without hua cheng and xie lians help. so hua cheng is kind of like wwx's ghost dad ? maybe ? and xie lian's his ghost/god mom who gently coaxed his soul pieces back together while hua cheng glared at him for stressing his husband out

anyways

wwx gets scolded pretty badly for immediately jumping into shenanigans not even a day after his emergence from the kiln. hell, his injuries from the decade-long brawl probably havent even healed yet and does he even have a decent grasp on his new devastation ghost abilities yet ?

the scene in the jingshi truly looked like two parents scolding their unruly child for scampering off at the first opportunity despite being barely an adult in age

wwx is not three this time around, thank u very much !!

they talk abt the demonic left arm from mo village and how it has garnered the attention of the heavenly capital because apparently it belonged to someone who was supposed to ascend to the upper courts but their soul was chopped up before they could get their heavenly calamity.

huh, wwx thinks. what the fuck happened while i was in mt tonglu

hua cheng warns wwx to be careful bc the heavenly capital is sending two local deities to investigate the demonic left arm on the non-mortal side of things and he doenst want xie lian to be worried for wwx

(hua cheng is absolutely worried for him too, wwx is very sure)

"pls dont get urself punted into jail ur gnna stress out gege and if u stress out gege ill-" "ill be fine ! ive got thee hanguang-jun w me lol !" hua cheng raises an eyebrow at the thought of a mortal cultivator guarding a ghost king. one of the best of his generation, sure, but still a mortal. wwx pouts at him, "u cant judge me ur protecting a whole thrice-ascended god"

after all the serious talk was done (and insane inspection of wwx's [surprisingly perfect] human disguise), hua cheng hangs around to watch wwx make a fool of himself.

his pseudo-dad is enjoying his torment apparently. he'll tattle on him to xie lian later for sure.

but for now wwx focuses on getting out of there !! and mxy too !! he wonders if the kid is doing okay in the guest quarters. he hopes hes not bored

wwx's attempts to get himself and mxy kicked out of the cloud recesses by scandalizing the shit out of lwj fails spectacularly (what the fuck lwj is EVEN MORE RIPPED than the last time he saw him what the-) and he spends the night in a body-bind spell on lwj's body and he ??? cannot make sense of the entire thing

he can still hear hua cheng's cackles into the next morning

but thats fine because a while later the mingshi is going crazy with resentful energy and wwx's ghost instincts are like "FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD (literal) (hes been craving to eat resentful energy)" and he barges into the room, plops his ass down, and does an impromptu duet w lwj

the arm is subdued. wwx was able to feed without drawing anyone's suspicions. the mystery is getting uncovered bit by bit because the hand is pointing to their next destination

wwx leaves mxy in the care of the lan sect while he and lwj go out and solve this murder mystery

absolutely nothing is going to go wrong ! :D

[moxielynx]

@whatudottu hihihihiiiii so ur ramblings about tetrax has me wanting to talk about tetrax cause i will take any opportunity to talk about him

d-23 tetrax is cool even if he didnt speak much in the episode, honestly d-23 ben deserved to be smacked around a little (/J /J that kid is like 13 😭), the twist that they were actually the good guys this whole time was great, especially since sixsix was also working with azmuth, which was a nice perspective

i like to imagine that d-23 tetrax is actually a total sweetheart and didnt actually like fighting ben since ben is just a dumb kid who doesnt know any better (even if he is a stubborn brat)

im pretty certain that petropia in the reboot is perfectly fine because for a while Vilgax wasnt. Vilgax, so he couldn't have hired Tetrax to steal whatever that crystal was from petropia then destroy it, so reboot tetrax is just what happens as a result of Tetrax not facing the consequences of his actions so now he's a MEANIE!!! but the dad instinct is still there judging from the way he interacts with Ben in "Mutiny for the Bounty"

as much as i prefer classic tetrax i really like that they went with a completely different approach with reboot tetrax, and like it makes sense too considering theres no way petropia would be destroyed in the reboot as well if vilgax couldnt do it (if petropia were to also get destroyed in the reboot then that would be so funny cause that basically means the planet is fucked no matter what 💀💀), its really cool to see that this might be what tetrax was like before working for vilgax and makes me really think about how different each version of tetrax is, and only makes me even more depressed that we never got prime tetrax in Omniverse, especially since there could've been so many moments where tetrax could've showed up

classic tetrax obviously isnt as cruel and uncaring as we see in the reboot or as he said when he was telling ben about his backstory because if he really didn't care as much but was like "okay this is fucked up i need to get my act together" then he wouldn't have looked so distraught watching his planet fall

i refuse to acknowledge the change in reaction in uaf tho cause it fucking SUCKED they cant just turn him into this stoic fucking guy after he literally shows up and shakes ben like a rattle, that and also they obviously didnt gaf about his backstory cause in the og backstory you can tell petropia's destruction was YEARS, probably decades ago cause he had those back spikes and even a different outfit but in the uaf version its just the same exact model THEY DONT CARE ABOUT TETRAX LIKE I DO!!!!!!

uaf tetrax made me so sad because i was already insane about the idea of dadtrax because of Secret of the Omnitrix, but when tetrax first showed up in uaf he picked up ben and for some reason my first thought was "omg is he going in for a hug" only to have that ripped away from me when he just straight up starts shaking ben around like a ragdoll 😭like imagine you dont see a guy for like 6 years, last time you saw him he helped you save the world/galaxy, and the first thing he does is fucking shatter you for no reason (or at least appears to be no reason), and all you get from it is a "sorry but i had no time to explain", like thats crazy, the REAL tetrax would never harm ben that is his SON !!!!!!!! and then after the single episode we had of tetrax and even petropia we just. never see him or the planet ever again. like we could've had so much world building for petropia and they decided to just throw it out like it was nothing

tetrax is genuinely such a cool character and its horrible how underutilized he is in every show, like yeah he was in 2 (technically 3 counting the reboot) movies but that doesnt really make up for how little we really saw him, especially since like i mentioned earlier prime tetrax wasnt even in OV which is probably the biggest missed opportunity in history, and the strangest part about it is that we got plenty of episodes exploring different planets and even a whole other system (galactic monsters special) so it was literally the perfect opportunity to write an episode about petropia and how its holding up

also never apologize 2 me about rambles, especially rambles about tetrax, i fucking LOVE reading people's silly little thoughts on things they like :3

[melonteee]

sometimes in your vid essays when you briefly diverge into the topic of powerscaling and such I find it hilarious in regards to One Piece specifically because that series is so allergic to that kind of discussion. like as someone who's well-versed in regards to How Powerscaling Works, OP straight up does not give numbers the way other series do and if you go to any powerscaling type wiki/website their OP pages are in fact just born from a million assumptions. One Piece will have a dude say "Im Big Dick McGee" and do one insanely cool thing that has everyone freaking out and powerscalers will be pulling their hair out because *they can't quantify that shit* and have to make a million assumptions as to how strong OP characters really are.

And i feel like Oda has the same mindset because he introduced the doriki system as an actual Power Scale System in water seven and then threw it the hell away mid arc with no reference to it ever again and YET because it's the single point of actual in-series power measuring youll find forums today still using it to make 15 more follow-up assumptions for characters in the current canon. no one can handle the silly goofines of this whole thing and thats not even counting how OP powerlevel discussions become lore discussions too bc how are they going to account for everyone being superhuman due to their planet being far more massive and thus having stronger gravity.

its so hilarious no other shonen could ever resist not introducing a consistent powerscaling system for 2+ decades

EXACTLY DFGHJKDF this is why I've been SAYING you can call One Piece a battle shonen all you want, because there ARE battles in it, but Oda so CLEARLY puts narrative over ANY sort of power system. Every time someone asks Oda any battle relevant question, he always answers with some bullshit JHKFGD like "how far can Luffy stretch?? oh about 20 gum gums" LIKE HHHH he so clearly DOESN'T care to stick to any strict power system. I mean the most recent huge fight was a TOM AND JERRY inspired fight for god's sake, Gear 5 throws any and all power scaling conversations out the window for all we know Gear 5 can do fucking ANYTHING.

I've literally seen One Piece guys and Dragonball guys fighting about whether Gear 5 could beat Goku, and it's like, mother fucker for all we know Gear 5 could just bugs bunny a kamehameha back at him JDFHGKD like we literally do not know the scale of Gear 5. Hell we don't know the scale of MOST characters in One Piece. I was SO confused as to why the term 'admiral level' was a thing cause we've barely seen the admirals...do anything?? Like yeah Akainu can turn into magma and whatever, but what else??? Why is this term even a thing if we haven't even seen the scale of what any of these guys can do JKFGDFGD I will admit I have a much more plot/narrative driven head but I truly cannot understand how One Piece power scalers get any of their arguments or data hhhhhh

[narwhalandchill]

wait aint no fucking way an actual genshin loretuber even jokingly acknowledged the rabbit hole insanity that is childe 3rd descender theories what the fuck.

is it finally legal for me to break my self imposed silence on the subject without publicly and shamefully removing all my credibility on genshin lore. please please . this is a super fucking vulnerable moment for me guysssss

(under read more bc full disclosure 100% i Will embarrass myself here. this is NOT on my top of the line Childe Theories And Analysis That I Will Defend In Court Under My Legal Name if Questioned list please understand. this is way more self indulgent and wildly speculative for me as much as i do Genuinely see there being a ground for the theory to stand on. ik when im off to the deep end JKWDKJJKWDJKWD)

like seriously be Aware this WILL be a complete mess btw you have all been warned so like no refunds accepted. if youd like to keep an image of me in your head where i am even slightly respectable and realistic when it comes to my theories please stay there. in the light. where the sun shines.

......

...

so. you have chosen death. o7

ok firstly. YES i KNOWW childe 3rd descender theory is batshit stuff thats Why i havent said shit abt it all this time bc i do Not trust myself to be truly objective on the subject bc i Want the theory to be real so bad so its like of course ill readily disregard all other possible candidates for 3rd descender bc bias. and also see it as more plausible that ajax has sth to do w that and make connections more readily. than any lore enthused person existing without his continued rent free existence in their brain for the last 3+ years. so like. yes. listen. i Know i know its prolly not real. but also i must # speak my truth .

anyway the vid didnt even fully touch on all the like. shady fucking shit when it comes to the Curious coincidences. bc like. so firstly the star thing and connections w childe

so wei did bring up the whole . ajax is released on patch 1.1 called "a new star approaches" (and also polar star is his sig) . except like Theres More bc while i was researching random childe brain rot stuff (sadly dont remember/have a link to where i first saw it) . that title in CN is even more pointedly About ajax bc apparently its about a "guest star". and a guest star again according to that post at least is specifically considered an omen of bad luck in chinese astrology. a guest star approaching = a disaster approaching. like mayhaps a ginger guy resurrecting osial or something . huh . maybe ajax Is the guestpilled starmaxxer in that title. the approacherrrrrr, even

secondly. there are some well hidden references to ajax As A Star in the fontaine AQ too. bc the act III where we go looking for him after he goes missing is called "to the stars shining in the depths" except again i have found a source (yes no link to it saved once again my bad) that its titled "to the morning star in the deep water" in chinese. which is again star singular. curious

then theres the act III official description. that goes "the moment it seized its destiny, the star quietly fell from its lofty perch". and like idk abt yall but if its fontaine AQ act III and you ask me WHOS out there seizing their destiny of all things. It Seems Somewhat Plausible To Argue that its PROBABLY referring to the guy thats out there getting teleported to the primordial sea to face the creature thats Literally etched into the stars as his constellation. like . i have a very Difficult time trying to see the star that is seizing its destiny at this moment as Anyone but him reuniting w the narwhal for the first time in a decade and his 1st thought is to throw hands JKJKWDJKWDJKWDJK

(also. "fell from its lofty perch". fell from where. falling towards where. mayhaps even................ descending?????? if Seizing your destiny is taking your fate into your own hands.... a star that Falls from its perch.... that Descends after seizing its destiny....... Curious is all i will say. hey guys do you think your vision would mayhaps begin rejecting you if you start seizing ur own destiny and thus failing to follow the "duty" of predestined fate that same vision had bestowed upon you. guys do you think a star that seizes its destiny and falls from its lofty perch would get vision error 404. guys----)

also this is a smaller thing bc i think ascension mat theories are largely fringe and not that reliable (ning guizhong reincarnation "theories" ThoseWhoKnow) but i do think it can be acknowledged as a sort of. Extension to all these curious references to stars and being A Star when it comes to childe. he does use Star Conches for ascension . so like it can be a little extra on top of the other more serious more Professionally Certified star things hoyo is curiously attaching to him

so like . a star. a star also being a thing the traveler is repeatedly called. its so quirky that this pattern continues. so thats one thing

oh and also. if childes the non-descender (bc he clearly hasnt regained that status Yet) reincarnated soul of the 3rd descender.

you know what. a dead star. if its massive enough. like perhaps massive enough in some genshin metaphysical fantasy way. to be a star that counts as a descender with a will that rivals a world. if a heavy enough. star. dies. you know. you know what they turn into---

[THERE IS A MAD GLEAM IN MY EYES. YOU HEAR BOSS MUSIC.]

Anyway Hello Dear Reader Of Mine Humble Blog Would You Like To Spare A Moment To Discuss How The All-Devouring Narwhal That Consumes Any And All Stellar Object Coming Into Its Orbit Also Known As Ajax' Reflection In Teyvat's Skies Is Essentially A Sentient Living Black Hole And How A Black Hole Is Formed When A Star Dies? No? Okay.

like wouldnt it be super fucking funny if the constellation of the dead descenders reincarnated soul is a creature that for all intents and purposes is a black hole. like. a dead star. wouldnt that be funny

and before you ask. yes i have thoughts that would make ajax & narwhal are soulmates slash halves of the same entity that remains fully compatible with the 3rd descender brainrot but i. will Not subject you people to that. theres "respectably self aware insane theory i indulge in but know the limitations of" and then theres "jens top 10 personal jenshin impact plot twist wishlist please fulfill mr dawei pwease i swear itll be peak" like ffs. it might seem otherwise given the words i am saying right now but i do have Some propriety

the divine halberd was shattered into NINE piece---- (GUNSHOT)

whoa. what a loser high on her own hopium i wonder who that was. good thing the snipers got her ass there

back to your regularly scheduled programming. obviously theres other things that would very conveniently be explained by this 3rd descender shit as well like. dead eyes. soul of a dead descender thats in Literal Pieces body wise. the dead star that carries a curse above ground upon first making contact with the truth of his being aka post abyss training camp post meeting his mirror imaged destiny in his narwhal. a curse like mayhaps bringing chaos whenever he goes. an incompatibility with the world. drawing everything into his orbit being the eye of the storm or perhaps... the Singularity???? the event horizon??? a source of endless unrest and disaster........ just like the curse of a gnosis TEE HEE .

anyway super funny how that goes. and then another thing wei didnt really. fully go into is naturally the

(DEEP BREATH)

3rd son of his family with 3 older siblings and 3 younger siblings 3rd limited character ever released with 3 names and the 3rd weekly boss with 3 phases each representing 3 unique sources of power (vision, delusion and foul legacy) a 3 petaled symbol aka the triquetra of riptide and six in-game constellations divided into 3 subgroups with 3 unique prefixes (foul legacy, abyssal mayhem, havoc in eng) 3 days missing from teyvat and 3 months spent in abyss is 3rd to wield foul legacy after surtalogi and skirk

also the first character to receive a 3rd rateup banner ANYWAY (also the possible. is the 3rd reincarnation of the original ajax thing. but yeas)

[Me When I'm In A Be Suspiciously Associated With The Number 3 Competition And My Opponent Is Childe Ajax Tartaglia]

isnt it just silly. how many times it comes up. Nobody talk to meeeee its so over

theres prolly some other things too that i have driven myself to madness with when thinking abt this but idr em right now and like . not like this is any manner of serious respectable theory anyway sooooooooo

anyway ill stop embarrassing myself now. like as i said i have been legally forcing myself into silence on this bc listen. i KNOW this is bullshit i KNOW im a deranged biased childe main who will do Anything just to cook up a fantasy version of genshins endgame lore where My Dude is at the center stage and gets to be a massive fucking deal yes 100% deserve to be disqualified on account of terminal stage blorbo bias when it comes to theories on the subject i just. the fact that this is the FIRST time i see Any loretuber person acknowledge the theory. i just had to come in here and let it be known that. Yes. ive been seeing this shit and thinking abt it SINCE 4.2 dropped since that stupid fucking note about forsaking the self and being reborn in the abyss as a holy infant or a primordial human or a descender and that somehow Thats called Ajax. of all things. its horribleeee it eats me alive

[inevitablestars]

hehehehehehehhe <— me cackling evilly while rubbing my hands together

sirius pls for the ask game<3

oh so you want me to yap

How I feel about this character

.... say it with me: INSANE ABOUT SIRIUS. have been thinking about sirius since i was a small child and i just never stopped??? attached myself to him like a stray dog and i cant let go. very very very normal as you can see. ill be thinking about sirius for the rest of my life i fear. sirius is just so complex and i want to root around in his head for hours. i could find something new every time i do. also no matter what fic i am writing i am inside of sirius' head it might not be his pov but i am in there and know how he would react to everything.

and like. there's so much there!!! his family the prank the marauders harry azkaban like the possibilities are endless. and because of all of the previous pieces (and more) or any combination of them like thats one fucked up little guy and it only makes me love sirius more

they are in my pocket and will be there for the rest of time

All the people I ship romantically with this character

the obvious, remus. can't go wrong there. put them in any situation and it will work. literally any.

and heres the thing, i don't actively read or seek out any other sirius ships but like... now that im being asked.... i could be convinced of others. give me a good and compelling story and i could be interested. some that fit in this category are: james, lily, wolfstarbucks, peter, kingsley, marlene. have i read most of those? no i have not, but if someone im friends with wrote any of them yeah id give it a shot. nothing replaces wolfstar tho nothing can

My non-romantic OTP for this character

regulus. i think thats obvious (<- guy who has never shut up about the black brothers) whether they are close and have a good relationship or havent spoken in a decade im gonna love it. they love each other more than anything else and soemtimes that drives them apart but sometimes it doesnt and god i will explode if i think about them for too logn it causes me phsyical pain

also the rest of the black family. in order of how insane they make me after regulus: bellatrix (she literally killed him what do you want me to say), andromeda, narcissa, walburga, everyone else

outside of the family though, james and lily. easy.

My unpopular opinion about this character

sirius can do no wrong. idc!!!!!!!!! hes never done a single thing wrong in his life. like yeah hes stupid sometiems but thats my stupid guy :( hes trying his best hes fucked up and has been since he was born its not his fault

also just like why is there discourse about his appearance. i dont see characters in my head but like idc if hes tall or not or if theyre whatever gender. sirius is hot and also a little guy.

also also he's smart. really fucking smart. he just doesnt always care so it comes off like hes not. and like he wants it to seem like hes cool and has his shit together but he is losing his mind all the time

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

that he and regulus got to reunite :( or that he didn't die. that would be lovely. or if you know his name was cleared and he got to actually take harry in like he wanted to that would be so so cool for everyone involved

[allamericansbitch]

even after everything I'm still worried about taylor. isn't that sick? she just seems like a completely different person but maybe we didn't know her at all. I'm a black/queer woman and seeing all this makes me physically ill but I'm still like....is she ok? whats going on in her head? I've been a fan of hers since I was?? 11?? 12?? I'm 22 now. a decade of my life I've loved and supported and been dissapointed and angry. this is the first time since i became a fan that im consdering unstanning and its so monumental. but i can't just. cut ties and say "well fuck her im moving on" it's all so insane the chokehold she still has on me bc I feel like I literally grew up with her. idek how to listen to her music moving forward or make edits. a part of me still wants to believe in the end people are good and they can learn and grow. maybe she'll look back at this years from now and say "what the hell was I thinking?" idk I hope so.

I'm just so immensely sad and angry and hurt but I still wanna love and forgive her bc ig thats what im used to.

I'm sorry this doesn't make sense i just needed to word vomit 😭 and thank for taking the time out of ur day to read and post these it means a lot. makes me feel less crazy and alone. I just wanna put us all in a really big group hug.

A huge group hug sounds amazing. A lot of people have been saying similar things, they can’t just leave and they feel terrible for not being able to do it, but there’s still a part of them that has a hope it’ll all be fixed. Also worrying about her isn’t sick at all, it’s obvious something’s going on and she did go through a breakup so we can only imagine she’s hurting in some way.

Having this kind of emotional safety net for a decade and then it suddenly not being under you can be insanely jarring, no shame in not being able to rip off the band-aid. There a huge difference in just not being able to let her fully go vs invalidating people hurt, saying it’s no big deal, or pretending like nothing happened. It’s very complex for any fan, but for you and I’m sure many, many others who are a part of the communities he’s hurt, it’s so layered and you should be allowed to have grace with how you deal with it. You’re not at all crazy or alone, we’re all in the same boat here ❤️.

[skalecsz]

If you could how would you fix ino's development

i love you and also im sorry.

ino is such an interesting character, kishimoto took your average pretty mean girl and made her actually super sweet and caring, adaptable, and intelligent

i actually like her personality a lot, she values her looks and can be a bit crabby but compared to sakura, ino is a lot more willing to work with her teammates. she actively takes charge to the point that shikamaru and choji look to her for what to do

id keep her "crush" on sasuke but id instead make it something that sakura misinterpreted and ino went along with bc she thought sakura just didnt want to be friends anymore. she still flirts with sasuke but in a joking way.

id keep her rivalry with sakura but makes it explicit that she wasnt the one that instigated it, id also make her less "mean" in a stereotypical bully way since she was the one that defended sakura from bullies in the first place. she should still be sassy and a bit of a hot head but not overtly rude to others.

also id have her win her fight with sakura, just bc i think it contributes better to sakura's development, but also opens up an extra fight in the chunin exams. not sure who id pit her against but im just saying it would give her more stuff to do (maybe shino? they were both top students at the academy)

she goes on the sasuke retrieval mission and stays behind to help choji fight. theres no reason that she shouldnt go, choji can still almost die and ino can use the time he bought her to finish off orochimaru's lackey but ino has PROVEN to be a good ninja, even if her fighting isnt that great shes fantastic crowd control…come the fuck on.

development wise…no healing abilities…it just felt so tacked on and she didn't nearly have as much passion for it as sakura did. id focus 100% on her clan's reconnaissance bc their abilities are super interesting. would def give her an upgrade regarding her body switching jutsu so shes not left unconcious on the ground with every technique. when shes a genin thats fine but ur telling me sasuke can summon God and ino still can't control people without falling asleep?

okay the puppet scene with the "Mind Puppet Switch Cursed Seal Technique" literally has not left my mind its SO cool and I wish ino learned to use it. is it "ethical"? no. might even be a war crime. but thats fine i think. let ino be a little scary.

AND!!! SUNA LITERALLY HAS A PUPPET MASTER!!! Ino can train with kankuro or at least ASK for assistance

ALSO. OH MY GOD. GIVE HER MORE TO DO IN THE HIDAN AND KAKUZU ARC HOLY SHIT. that arc literally just ended up being about shikamaru (based) and naruto (???) why weren't ino and choji more present!! naruto literally appeared to save the day with his new jutsu when this mission shouldve been team 10 and team 10 ONLY (kakashi is on thin ice)

i like the confrontation between shikamaru and hidan in the forest, thats fine, but ino and choji should be absolutely duking it out with kakazu and his family of puppets! you know who else uses puppets/external tools? INO. Have her try to control kakuzu's external guys while choji beats him up, naruto arriving on the scene feels cheap :/ have kakuzu remark that "oh the strategist is gone" and then ino just immediately takes over as the leader and thinks of a plan because shes teammates with shikamaru's lazy ass and also BEING SMART IS LITERALLY SO IMPORTANT TO HER CHARACTER

AND GIVE HER (AND CHOJI) A SCENE WHERE SHE MOURNS ASUMA. OH MY GOD. HER FUCKING TEACHER JUST DIED. Ino is sidelined sooo much in team 10 its insane. maybe she and her dad (while not super close) talk about what its like to lose people you love, her dad has been a ninja for decades, he would comfort her. have her arrange a bouquet and place it on asuma's grave, have her break down crying over her teacher! this would also be interesting since we dont spend as much time with team 10, but would be able to see that the side characters have their own lives and feelings outside of naruto.

regarding romance ive personally always seen her as a lesbian but her relationship with sai is fine i guess. if she and sai are endgame id like more of a buildup to it. but if i can get my way she and sakura end up together <3

i think shes fine in the war arc, but the war arc itself is something i just wouldnt include if i were to rewrite naruto

also her blank period outfit is UGLY throw that shit OUT girl

[hastings727]

Fighting Games are a Bit Funny for Me

I had fighting games as a kid (smash brothers, soul calibur, tekken, cabinets at random arcades) but I never knew there was more than just mashing. The most I played was melee and soul calibur 2 on my gamecube and even then, I never bothered to look at the movelist (hell I probably didn't even know there was one) and I just played Link and the single player stuff. It was fun! Fast forward to 2013 and my dumb early 20s self having experienced competitive racing in Forza 4 and then the absolute brainrot that is league of legends. But the moment that Cloud 9 signed a smash player is when I smelled colors for the first time, because I realized that cute smash game I played as a kid had a fucking competitive scene for literally decades? So that blew my mind and *LETS JUST GO PAST ALL THE SMASH COMPETITIVE STUFF* Suffice to say I played smash 4 and a bit of melee for a time in my region. Then I watch EVO 2014 finals until 3am, find my local scene for traditional fighting games, and find the brainrot that is Skullgirls as my first fighting game. I will always love SG but the way it plays completely fucked me up for trying to play other fighting games because of how the game works. Fast forward AGAIN past all that wonderful nonsense of finding some of the best friends of my entire life and learning fighting games with them and Guilty Gear XRD drops and I eventually play it and find Faust, my first true fighting game love.

I had fighting game mains before but Faust was the true feeling of love. I loved his goofiness, the items, the random wild moments, the absolute INSANITY of it all. But then, my hubris. I am a sore loser, a sore winner, a sore everything. I took these games too seriously and all of my local friends have been playing fighting games since they were kids, and here my dumb ass is trying to beat them with less than half the experience. It was humiliating for me, and only for me because no one actually insulted or made fun of me, I basically ruined my own mental health.

Fast Forward again because in 2017 the twins were born and I basically had to stop alot of my life for a while. I play sparingly and mostly watch stuff because thats all you have time for as a parent to infants. Alot of games get rollback, I try Plus R and like it until the competitive tryhard brainrot ruins me because another friend who has more experience in these games beats me and I basically give up for a while. Strive drops, I cry about faust being different and play Anji. I play the game on and off for the next 3 years and mostly do other shit.

These days I'm actually very clear minded as I have largely ripped the competitive brainrot out of my head and play these games 110% for improvement and exploring my own ability to get good. I no longer care about the W, only in so much as it signifies that I've improved slightly. That clearheadedness has extended to other game genres I play like FPS' and MOBAs, but grinding competitive ladders is largely dead to me because I just, dont care about winning anymore. Strive is the closest to me in terms of "i grind ranked". But the only reason I do so is because the character levels up faster in the ranked towers than in the Park lol. And I like number go up. I also just, really enjoy strive. For all the work they put in to condense movelists, the characters all largely still do the same thing. I can say certain ones still feel like they need a bit of something (Testament feels like they need one of their old specials back, or some sorta trap mechanic to add to their fireballs and arbiter signs) But largely the game is successful in still allowing characters to do new things while still feeling like their old mechanics. IF you actually took the time to read my shit, wow thank you. You can find me on Strive as Revima and that is also my discord tag. I play Anji and Elphelt and I'm learning more characters for funzies. I also play a bit of SF6, 3rd strike, Vsav, and I'm learning jojos HTFT. I like improving now. I'm so happy I do because I dont want to go back to the brain rot.

[linalavender]

[🇸🇪/🇵🇸Political ranting] Im fucking tired.

This is a Political post, Normally I would be very apologetic for expressing my opinions on something but Im not gonna do that. Not anymore. Ill tag it as Political just as I do with spoilers but if this is the stuff you actively want to avoid just ignore it/unfollow me.

I... I think whats happening in Gaza and the absolute indifference or even defense my goverment has to the matter is what makes me actually go into political activism because this shit is fucking insane. Its plain for the world to see whats happening but Swedish Goverments official stance just still seems to be "Israel has the right to defend itself". WHAT FUCKING BULLSHIT IS THAT? THERES A FUCKING GENOCIDE AND AN ETHNIC CLEANISNG HAPPENING RIGHT UNDER YOUR FUCKING NOSE AND YOU ARE CALLING TO STOP OUR FINANCIAL AID FOR PALESTINE?! SUPPORT ISRAEL IN THEIR EFFORTS? The party ive always supported is ofcourse staunchly against this shit, They are always on the side of the Opressed. (They are quite literally the former communist party, duuh)

Public service reporting is doing the Propaganda tier stance of Palestinians "dying" of seemingly unkown causes becuase thye never elaborate further than that ofcourse, while Israelis are brutally murdered in cold blood.

Same with other publications, The only ones ive seen actually call it out for what it actually is fucking far left publications. Its so fucking tiring. The thing that made me so fucking mad recently was finding out a CHARITY FUNDRAISER EVENT in which 4 hosts lock themselves in a glass box for 2 weeks and do a radio/TV show 24/7 has fired one of its hosts for standing up for Palestine. Whats the Fundraiser for? Starving children. The person responsible for this event? Has been very outspoken and supportive of Ukraine, But Palestine is too much apparently. Or Perhaps to brown? Who Knows really. All we can safely say I guess is that children starving in a systematic and slow killing of a ethnic minority doesnt count.

Ive always had strong opinions on things but I never shared them for years, Especially in real life. Thats fucking over. Im done just being fucking silent on things. Fuck your Zionist bullshit you far right piece of shit goverment.

Leve Palestina, Krossa Zionismen. ("Long live Palestine, Crush Zionism" A lyric from the Swedish song Leve Palestina - Kofia that translates to "Long Live Palestine" From the 70's, The Left wing of Sweden has long stood with Palestine but this has changed in the recent decade which is fucking gross. I cant stand for that bullshit.) From River to the Sea.

Sorry for having such a long post its just suffocating not sharing these thoughts over the past few weeks or so.

[serendipitous-mage]

not that ive had anything near a 'normal' year in well over a decade but thinkin about how proper fukt and hectic thiis one has been

beginning of year was working for one of the most insane managers/companys i ever have

middle of march i put in my two weeks, because in addition to a Lot of other reasons that i had already been struggling to not leave over, my manager straight up DOXXED a coworker(/their family member) on linkedin--and on the company linkedin as well no less--and some other drama that was just the last straw and i wanted some scrap of sanity back and to avoid that happening to me

end of march, hear that its not just possible but likely current roommate is moving, and while i *couldlve* gone with, it was an area i didnt want to go to

uncertainty from march-august, and not much progress made on job apps in that time because that is Such a huge/panic inducing process for me anyway without being unsure of living situation on top of it

roommate moving confirmed, i try and find someone who could take their spot where i already was but a lot of my friends had literally *just* moved in the last few months, so missed my chances

move in with some friends who already have so little space and money and now they have to share with me

finally hear about a job in like november

the job changes .. many times. first its a call center gig for this company, then they call back with 'the same thing but for a slightly different thing under the same parent company', and it actually does sound a little less hellish, so i go with that. all of the paperwork/emails i receive have the name of the first company on them, but when i asked about it they said it was just because of the parent company thing it was all good. they have me pick a schedule... all of the options are 40 hours, i had not asked too many specifics because i dont have the luxury of being picky rn, but i have never worked full time and am already always exhausted and cant stay awake all day, so this is going to be absolute hell. also there are 12 days where additional hours are Required, 4 of which i wouldve otherwise had off

i pick a schedule. they write back that some things changed here are some other schedules to pick from, i pick a new schedule. when we had initially talked on the phone for the first company i was told a setup day end of november and starting in december, but because of returning people/potentially from moving to the other, now im not starting until the end of january, which fucking sucks because ive been at $0 and owing friends for covering me for months. get a call saying some people dropped out, do i want to start a week earlier? yes ofc i do i need the money. get a call again saying the same thing, so now im starting the beginning of january instead.

equipment arrives: it is.....one small box......with the tiniest dinkiest little laptop with a whole entire one USB port and one USB-C port...great, perfect, this will work so well considering my monitor is VGA, and all three of my headset, mouse, and keyboard are USB connections. i do happen to have a USB to USB-C adapter for other things, but thats still only 2 of the 4 things i need plugged in. i tell them this, they through a series of CC'ing other people into the email find someone who knows where my Other equipment is. theyve sent me another monitor that has a USB-C connection and a (extremely chintzy) USB splitter. ok, technically everything can be plugged in now, whatever

we have a setup teams meeting: the lady running it mentions they just wana make sure our mics/cam work and then we can have them off for the meeting, 'because youre going to need both of them right? :)'. no. no i had bETTER not need both of them you are NOT having me ON FUCKING CAMERA for 40+HOURS A WEEK i will SCREAM.

but then. oh, oh boy howdy, and then...

the meeting was for both of the roles id been offered because the initial setup for both is the same, people for both the assignments are present. last i knew, i was on company B. i already have 15 pages of notes for company B from things i could find on the website and in manuals because i am an anxious bitch and wanted to make the first few weeks as painless as possible for me, im not confident, but i do have a fairly decent start and a basis understanding of the software already, so im a little less nervous about it

then the lady mentions...that....if youre with company A, you were sent one monitor, and if youre with company B...you were sent 2...

......i look up at my Singular monitor

and type in chat like 'hiiii um, so im with company B but was only sent the one monitor ?'

lady has someone else present double check my assignment

and they send

"youre with company A :)" legitimately with a smiley face

and when i tell you i am losing my shit-

15 pages of notes useless. company A is going to be higher call volumes and for a more generalized people which means more stupid questions and more confused customers. from what i can find on the website, their only support option seems to be phones, so there isnt even the possibility of having emails or chats which i Greatly prefer to phone calls, the other one had email at least. NONE of the emails they sent me said ANYTHING about the change, i can only assume it was one of the phone calls where they asked if i wanted to move up a week in the schedule, but it was NOT made clear i was changing anything other than the start date, just "theres an opening in the other class", and in the follow-up emails each time they only said "Thanks for your quick move to this new schedule" and "I'm excited for your earlier start date!", which does NOT imply i have been switched assignments

yall..im devastated lmao. i can never just Find A Job it always has to be some fucking batshit insane garbage like this

i start next week and im ......not excited to say the least ;w;

it only goes until april...but its going to be 40+ hour weeks (and i *doubt* any overtime pay, its technically a contractor role), on exclusively phone support (i fucking hate phones they make me mad anxious), i still havent been able to get solid notes for this one because their website is fucking unhinged and its taking me Forever to dig through it all, the laptop is tiny asf and there is no space in the shared room ive got rn to set it up in a way thats good at a desk or something im probably going to be sitting on the edge of the bed and using my shelf as a table which i Know from experience is going to kill my back and neck esp with the longer hours, they potentially want my camera on while working which is Not happening i might get fired for that even if i can keep up with the hours, and if i do get fired or quit? this job came through a recruiting agency which had got me one of my last remote jobs, and i dont think theyd be too quick to help me find something else if this one ends badly, so im really kind of forced to continue even if i didnt have such a pressing need for income asap

and all of this.. for a whole entire $16/hr :'D

happy fucking new years ;_;

[we-survive-endlessly]

top 5 shows

top 5 manga

top 5 video essays

top 5 drinks (alcoholic or otherwise)

top 5 places youve visited

top 5 days of your life

(^thats a lot... oops. feel free to choose whichever are interesting;; i wanna know the reasoning behind your choices if theres any though)

Oooh FUN omg

Okay so I don’t really watch video essays (that I can think of) but I’ll try to answer the others! This could get lengthy so answers are below the cut!

Top Five Shows

Friends - This is my comfort show. I’ve had it on at night while I sleep every night for over a decade. My sister and I quote it constantly and it just never gets old for me. (It’s literally in as I’m typing this 😂)

Supernatural - I genuinely loved almost this entire show! Except for the shitty ending they gave it. It’s funny and dark and all of that fun stuff.

Criminal Minds - I binged this entire show in like a month and a half. That’s fifteen fucking seasons my dude. Anyways I love Spencer a lot 🥰

Rizzoli and Isles - Listen I love a good case of the week show. And one with two female leads that are complex and well developed? Even better!

Hawaii Five-O - Same as the above but with male leads! I love the relationship between Danny and Steve so much.

Honorable mentions to Teen Wolf, The Office, and How I Met Your Mother!

Top 5 Mangas

Okay so I honestly haven’t read a lot of manga. I think I read some of Peach Fuzz when I was younger. And I know I borrowed a series from a friend in high school about a kid with black wings, but that’s pretty much it 😬👍

Top 5 Drinks

I love a little drink omg

Any lemonade, but especially blackberry lemonade

Sprite (alone, mixed with lemonade, or malibu)

Egg Nog (has to be dairy free now but I still love it)

Hard Cider (plain or flavored)

Root Beer

Top 5 Places I’ve Visited

I admittedly haven’t been many places, but here we go!

Mount Vernon, Virginia - Not because of the house or that it was owned by George Washington, but because of the LAND. It is so green and right on the water and was just so beautiful. I went there 14 years ago and I still think about it.

Museum of Natural History - I wish there was a museum of that caliber near me omg 😭

Monterey Bay Aquarium - Huge, stunning aquarium with beautiful fish and a fun gift shop? Sign me up!

The local apple farms that my friends and I visit every fall - fall vibes with apple treats and hard cider like how can you say no

This route that my friends and I take when we are driving at night listening to music - it’s back roads in the country and the night sky is so beautiful

Top 5 Days Of My Life

A lot of what comes to mind are concert related 😅

Seeing Kingdom in concert and meeting them - It was my first kpop concert and I couldn’t have picked a more perfect one. I’d never been around that many kpop fans (I only have one irl kpop friend) and everyone was so wonderful and kind and welcoming. The members of Kingdom were all super sweet and I still can’t believe I’ve met them.

Seeing Marianas Trench in concert the first time - Absolutely jaw dropping. They sound just as good live and the artistry is insane.

Seeing Queen in concert with Adam Lambert - Absolutely legendary. Like idk what else to even say.

Scoring my first goal in soccer as a child - I just remember running to my dad and hugging him. We actually have a picture of that moment. (Also scoring a goal after using a move on someone that I spent weeks practicing)

When I adopted my dog Rizzo - Instead of a car for my 16th birthday I wanted a puppy. I couldn’t believe when my parents actually let me get one. Today marks one month of her being gone and I miss her every day.

[bytedykes]

Ask game anon. Im stupid. Five/Eleven questions 2, 3, 8, 9 and 30 djdjdjcn

kajdkss no worries anon i felt that

im gonna do both <3 five first

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

ok see the thing about five is that he is such a compelling character to me. INSANELY compelling. i mean come on, kid who lost himself in the literal apocalypse at THIRTEEN and his whole family was dead, and then he spent DECADES working his ass off and then working as an assassin all to get back and save his family but when he does he fucks up and is an old man stuck in a child's body? i ate that shit RIGHT UP. he's a bitch he's an old geezer he's a cranky weirdo he kills people and his morals are fucked as all hell. i LOVED five right away he was so cool

HOWEVER. HOWEVER. if u were in tua fandom circa 2019 u know what a hell hole it was. u know that no one could be normal about any fucking thing. the amount of victim blaming accusations at the siblings were ummm. yeah. it was hostile back then and to some degree it still is probably adkdsjds. so after a while that kind of ruined five for me a little bit because. no one GOT him u know? no one got him right and it was frustrating + all the five stans were the weirdest most rabid people around back then. so that began to put me off the character as a whole. plus aidan gallagher was being so rampantly silly (derogatory) back then too

but actually i do still like five. i think that his story is really interesting and his love for his family is so integral to the central plot of the whole show and he deserves to retire and have a chill relatively normal life. i didnt care for season 3 but even after all that yeah he should get to just hole up somewhere and idk do normal old man things. also five is funny as hell like im sorry but 13 year old boy losing his absolute shit 24/7 because he's actually a 58 year old adult man with the worst life in the world is never NOT gonna be funny

3. A song that reminds me of them

UNIVERSE EXPANDED BY FRANZ FERDINAND......... it is SO fivecore it is so him in the apocalypse trying to get back home. especially the parts that go "I'll meet you coming backwards, Yes I'll meet you coming back, When the universe has expanded, Time will contract, You'll come back" like . ARGHHHH. also not so much anymore but in my prime of tuaposting "lucky ball & chain" by they might be giants made me think of five and dolores every time without fail

8. Your favorite outfit of them

ok i actually do love fives s3 outfits. like it may not have been as good as the first two seasons but it DID go off with finally letting five wear things that arent a plain suit or an academy uniform. i love his stupid hat i love it when he rocks up to the family gathering decked out in old geezer swag

9. Your least favorite outfit of them

GRRR THE UNIFORM... listen i KNOW its iconic i KNOW he spends two seasons wearing it but AGHH FREE HIM!!!!!!! FREE HIM

30. The funniest scene they had?

every other scene he's in is so insanely fucking funny i cant pick. lets see tho umm big fan of when in s2 he rocks up to elliott's house and starts acting like he owns the place, big fan of his return scene in s1 where he's making the world's worst sandwich and calls diego stupid for not understanding quantum physics, also i liked the whole worlds biggest ball of twine subplot in s3. OH ALSO when he was making his list of who he needs to kill in s1 and luther was like "thats murder you cant do that" and he was like "oh my fucking GOD, luther, grow the fuck UP" there are so many fucking things wrong with him

OK THIS GOT LONG so ill put el in a separate post <3

[wolfisland]

i went from having like 8 irl friends to exactly 2 over the span of a year and a half and thats kind of fucking insane to me and its like okay am i the problem? legitimately am i the problem? and everyone else who knows the details (because i will hang myself out to dry so fast. id rather know if i fucked up than have a bunch of yes men telling me i can do no wrong) has said i was in the right but i still dont get it

like i have an itemized list of WHY i stopped being friends with these people or why i didnt make an effort to make amends when they felt slighted, but i do just kind of sit there and wonder how it all got this bad? like you have to understand i was a much, much, MUCH nicer person at the start of last year. i was a people pleaser. i let so much shit slide even though it hurt, inconvenienced, or disrespected me

i feel justified in my reasons for leaving those friendships. i dont hide my side of the conversation if it happens via text. i keep my fiance updated on as many things as possible so that i have some kind of record of what i say or whats been said to me during conflicts. i dont think i made the wrong decision walking away from those people

but i still just dont really get it. to clarify my reasons for leaving were like, telling a dude not to use an n word substitute which he flipped out over, finding out another friend was (in my opinion) grooming someone and theyd waited til i was drunk to spring it on me, one friend TRAPPED ME IN THE BATHROOM WITH HIM AND FORCED ME TO LOOK AT HIS ECCHI COLLECTION OF HIGH SCHOOLERS. HES IN HIS 20s, one friend had been fucking belittling and mistreating me for the better part of a decade and i snapped when he defended his mother triggering my eating disorder, one friend expected me to choose between their bruised ego and my job because they didnt get hired there and guilt tripped me for not like. cutting ties with a support system thatd literally done NOTHING to them, and one friend went completely fucking weird and distant on me and started talking behind my back literally one fucking week after id confided in her that i thought i had npd.

like. i think i had EXTREMELY good reasons to not fucking stay in those friendships. i despise all of those people now. i do not even slightly miss them. but i guess i do miss the freedom to go places with a group of friends. its extremely isolating.

dgmw ive TRIED to connect with other people. ive made like casual friends with people and been invited places and hung out with them but i always find out some dirty little secret or red flag that i cant ignore, like one of them ending up being a fucking domestic abuser, or someone trying to manipulate me into agreeing with them by very very VERY obviously obscuring their side of a conversation to make the other party (who imo was justifiably uncomfortable with her behaviour) look like the bad guy

like my issue isnt that people seem to dislike me irl. its that they like this shallow idea of me and the surface level masking and then get fucking weird when i maintain my boundaries even with them. people act like just because i care about them that they get a free pass to just do whatever and thats not how it fucking works. if i tell you how and why you're guilt tripping me and why its inappropriate and overstepping, your fucking place isnt to go "youre manipulative for saying im manipulative" and try and act like im a cruel heartless cunt for being uncomfortable with your behaviour!

so much of this shit couldve been solved by actual direct communication and in some cases A SIMPLE APOLOGY AND CHANGED BEHAVIOUR but when i communicate openly and directly suddenly im the bad guy. like im sorry you got used to me being a pushover but thats done now. im not doing that shit anymore.

like i went to the ends of the earth for some of these fucking people. some of them id known for years. some i literally LIVED WITH. shared beds and rooms with. and suddenly all in the space of a year and half after i decide to start telling people when what they do hurts me or is inappropriate or rude everyone like freaks the fuck out. unsurprisingly all of these people were white btw

im gonna get a little emotionally vulnerable on main and i need you all to be cool okay like be chill. dont make a big deal out of it

[screamingay]

i love my nature conservation group i really do but their name starts with citizens united and even though they're older than That citizens united it's like. obviously people are gonna think of That one first so we have to use the longer abbreviation all the time just to avoid that connection being made 😩