#it felt so real it was wild
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Why’d I have the dumbest dream last night that I was hanging out with Ja’Marr and he was mad at Joe because he didn’t want to be roommates with him 😂
I was giving him advice on how to navigate their friendship from a Sagittarius perspective like that isn’t the dumbest thing ever 😭
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Had a dream I was pregnant last night…
#it felt so real it was wild#I was having a boy#kinda rude that I had this dream as I’m becoming a lot more philosophical about parenthood#and debating whether I do want kids and my reasons why#<-as if that’s a possibility anytime soon#but I feel like I need to be sure for when I do get into a relationship ya know?#my whole life I was so sure#but working with kids the past two years has made me question it a lot#for various reasons#I do still want kids but I think I’m viewing it from a more serious perspective now#and all the possibilities rather than when I was younger and was like omg yes a baby!
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making my way through echoes of the eye rn (more than a whole year after the base game, ridiculous) and aside from just wondering how this wouldve felt aside the base game i kept feeling like it's missing something. and i finally put my finger on what it is; i MISS dialogue so much. outer wilds style of character dialogue writing really speaks to me on a deep level and not having that makes it feel a bit empty.... the discovery doesn't have the same effect to it because i don't have attachments to characters. it really is a shame, the stranger is a cool location and i wish i could grasp more about its individual inhabitants. maybe i'll find something eventually (im only a few hours in) but i suspect not... the film reels just don't have the same effect for me
other than that it's interesting exploring the stranger, i think i'm starting to piece some things together. i'm curious what will happen when i manage to complete the main puzzle (i have a course of action in mind that i haven't executed yet)
(don't comment spoilers please - even if there is future dialogue or whatever. i'm still not done with the dlc content!)
#base game felt like retracing the steps of a group of people through the thoughts and the conversation they left behind#eotc so far feels like im in an abandoned house but they took most of the furniture before the moved out#you know?#im not dissing eotc i havent finished it yet i havent had the time to form real opinions and i dont like judging before i get to the end#but it just doesnt excite me the way base game exploration did#outer wilds spoilers#echoes of the eye spoilers#lemon rambles#outer wilds
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Chasm: Curse of Kaine (Vol. 1/2024), #3.
Writer: Steve Foxe; Penciler and Inker: Andrea Broccardo; Colorist: Brian Reber; Letterer: Joe Caramagna
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Chasm: Curse of Kaine#latest release#Scarlet Spider#Kaine#Kaine Parker#Chasm#Ben Reilly#Hallows’ Eve#Janine Godbe#wow…I think this just about perfectly encapsulates why I’ve felt like this miniseries has been ever so slightly off#I mean beggars can’t be too choosey and don’t get me wrong I’m primarily glad somebody remembered Kaine even existed#it also warms my heart to see Kaine growing into a heroic role#(and maybe I’m just being nit-picky over dialogue but hey this is a medium with limited dialogue space so writers have to be specific#in how they want to convey things)#but this contrast is just so wild#at a stretch I can see Kaine stopping to help civilians#he’s grown quite a bit since he started out in Houston…but seeing him so blatantly gung ho about it is a little jarring hahaha#as for Ben…oh Ben…I know they’ve been trying to establish Ben as vaguely despicable ever since this series opened#with him shaking tourists down for loose change but they can never make me believe that’s the real Ben !!!!#so Ben’s decision here is even more jarring hahaha#remember how Ben Reilly: Scarlet Spider ended with Ben despondent and essentially soulless#only for him to be promptly put «back to factory settings» very soon after in a Spider-verse event? I don’t care if it’s lazy#I hope they do something like that again and we have a heroic Ben back hahaha
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💜 for the oc ask game (love your stories so much <3)
for the oc ask game 💜 PURPLE HEART — what is your oc's ancestry/genetic background?
(thank you!! <3)
Sawyer is Black, his parents were originally from the West Indies before moving to the states - Sawyer was born in Montana.
Tex is, as far as he knows for most of his life, Irish. his dad came over when he was an adult and met a woman that he then got pregnant. she died when Tex was eighteen months old and his dad never really talked about her - it's only when he tracks his dad down much later in life that he learns his mother's mother was Osage and also had a child with a white guy (Tex's mom). he doesn't know his maternal grandfather's heritage at all.
#desperate hollow#lauren answers things#I've got to go record dashboard diaries now but I love this!#keep sending things folks!#all this stuff is subject to change to an extent#I still need to get sensitivity readers to read a draft#so some minor details may change#but for the most part both these characters are influenced by real life examples#for all intents and purposes in how he experiences the world Tex is white#but it was important to me to have my version of the wild west be filled with the actual historical reality#which is a lot of queer people and POC!#though also it should be noted that most outlaws were white!#bc white men felt they could do whatever they wanted#which is what tex is sort of taught to believe by Barlowe
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I had a g/t dream where people would randomly shrink and the world for some reason taught everyone that “those who shrink, shrunk because of what they are. Terrible people, stupid people, blind fools, sinners, etc etc” Everyone believed shrinkees were stupid and deserves their fate. Most would escape into the sewers or underground structures where they hid from the outside world knowing they would be hurt or possibly killed if they were found. One day a dude suddenly shrinks and his cruel sister finds out and tries to find him, luckily for him, he escaped and found the hiding place for shrinkees. He watched as they blankly stared at him and he muttered that he wasn’t gonna stay around this place and he wasn’t gonna live in fear like the rest of them. He then starts to make an escape and the other shrinkees see him as a savior from legends. Anyway then I come in. I’m waiting in a train station when I notice something running around beneath some of these pipes. It’s the dude who shrunk earlier and well I’m not the only one who noticed him. A man noticed him and gets a wicked smile and sneaks down into the pipes to try and catch him, I follow. Once down there I squirm my way around trying to find the shrunken dude before the other dude. Eventually I see him and quickly grab him. He struggles and I felt so bad. The way he felt in my hand, so vulnerable and soft. I was scared to put any more pressure on him because I was so terrified that I might squeeze too hard. I quickly try and get over the fact that I have a living person in my hand and whisper that I’m trying to help and to just trust me, as I slip him into my coat pocket. The other dude who was hunting sees me do this and tries to follow me. I quickly run into a bathroom that has multiple exits and make my way through the crowded room trying not to have myself be bumped or shoved in any place near where the tiny dude is. Eventually I exit and find myself in a mall. Where this girl sees me and decides I’d be a perfect candidate for something, I try to decline saying I’m in a hurry, but before I know it I’m shoved into a room where people are tied up and being questioned. The people asking the questions decide that I fit perfect in their little plan and grab this golden chain and wrap it around my arms before shoving me down into this deep pit where others are in similar chains. I feel for the tiny guy and realize I don’t have him anymore and I panic. I call out to him and say that I truly want to help but now I feel hopeless as it seems I’ve gotten myself in more trouble because of him. I don’t blame him though and just blame the world for being cruel to those they see as different and unfit. However I slip out of the chains with ease all of a sudden and just dash towards the exit while those still chained up cry out that someone is escaping. Now guards are after me trying to kill me as I try and escape. Once outside and avoiding the guards still I break down crying thinking about the tiny guy I lost. I felt bad and cried out that I was sorry for grabbing him, for trying to protect him and failing. I was sorry that I brought more trouble to him and hoped that he was safe somewhere and not being found by someone cruel. I then felt a little movement in my pocket and relief flooded my body, realizing he helped me escape and chose to stay with me.
#dream#dream I had#one time i dreamt#g/t#gt#giant/tiny#g/t dream#it was so wild to feel him in my hand#his body felt so soft and warm and his struggles made me worry that I was hurting him#I didn’t want to hold him any tighter but it was hard to hold onto him with him squirming#it was so surreal and wild#it felt so real and I can still feel what it felt like to have a human in the palm of my hand
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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The erasure of the anger that comes with Jinx's grief is really where s2 went wrong
#that and the fact they decided her mental illness just mostly poofed away 'cause sil was dead as if HE was the catalyst of that like#we didn't actively see pow having extreme emotional turmoil at the slightest hint of feeling rejected#even at a young age ; this girl has been troubled since she was a child ; he didn't help it at all ; but he CERTAINLY wasn't what spurred i#she was already going through extremes before he even came into the picture#so the fact that they basically dampen all of it and just put her into melancholy over rage#as if to say that with him gone ; she just doesn't get like that as often#is just wild to me; if anything ; it should have made her spiral more and made her a real menace to pi/tover#ugh it just frustrates me that him dying was somehow supposed to just fix that#even though it was an issue she was battling before#killing her loved ones and then being rejected by the one she felt was her person#is what exacerbated her mental illness b/c she started hallucinating about them#because what happened had traumatized her-- si/co certainly did not help the situation#and he absolutely contributed to perpetuating aspects of it with his own codependency issues and his view on loyalty#but it was already hitting extremes before he was in the picture
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I had a vivid ass dream that I saw the first episode of Wednesday S2. Y’all, I dreamt it opened up with Wednesday looking a bit sad and regretful. Then the camera panned to show a stained glass window with Larissa’s face on it. Basically confirming she had passed away.
I woke up from my dream going “Why would you do this? Why would you dream that?”. Now I’m sad. More sad I couldn’t dream other episodes too.
#mine#gwendoline christie#larissa weems#Wednesday#I have very vivid dreams#it felt so real#I was legit sad until I realized I was dreaming#imagine it plays out like this in real life?#that would be wild
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Club days 🫡
#boomslang#real dog training#mondioring#belgian malinois#my dogs#belgian shepherd#dogblr#dog sports#she looks so much like her dad here it’s wild ahhhhhhhhh#yesterday felt so good she’s really finding her stride and it actually feels like we’re Doing Mondioring
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sobbing at every heart event ...
#stardew valley#sdv shane#farmer koi#as someone who grew up thinking i would be fine with death at 18#as someone who struggled so hard with connecting with others because everything felt suffocating#being able to tell shane that im happy hes here is like telling myself that and hoo boy im crying#the things id love to hear and the things said to me being options in the six heart event#really impacted me#as someone who related to no after plan in the four heart event because i still dont even have a real plan in life#just wow the flashbacks to being unhappy in school the thoughts of being condemned in sunday school#and the fact you can tell him its a sin as a reason to not roll off a cliff is just enough to remind me of how much that hurts#as if im so bad you have to try guilting me into living... gosh#shanes heart events are therapy for me to actually tell someone i relate to YOURE STILL HERE AND THATS GOOD#like does concernedape know how therapeutic its been to tell shane the things i wanna hear#anyway sorry for the possibly depressing tags that is why i kept them in the tags#watch me go back and just delete all the tags but yeah this has been emotional to see from a diff perspective#im so used to being shane that its wild to see what it might look like and its kinda crushing me
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i’m actually totally mentally fine now because a hot old man likes and respects me and hyped me up to rest of the community 😌😌
#he would do NUMBERS on here - y’all don’t even understand#he’s so so so so SO attractive#he has a very unique and expressive face and an indescribably engrossing aura#i… ASSUME that other people feel this as well??#but i haven’t gotten confirmation yet#i’ve honestly never felt more drawn to another person in my life#and like. he is a happily-married presumably straight man - for the record#i have no intention but to be entirely professional about the whole thing outwardly#but inwardly? HOOOOOOOOO BOY……#🥵🥵🥵#i am NOT normal about this man and i am VALID#(another fun detail of this story is that i considered him my sworn enemy for YEARS before i actually met him)#(at which time he IMMEDIATELY started describing the mating cycle of oil beetles to me in great detail and i went ‘OH 😳😳’)#anyways - being beloved by my community is WILD…#in an actually normal and off my oldmanfucker bullshit way - love is real
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I've been holding back on things I truly like for so long because I was put in a position as a teen where my groomers and there friends all shamed me for my interests but I've been doing them still in privacy.
I started just talking about it a little with my friends and when they didn't shame me but instead took interest it was like my whole mind exploded it was like oh this is it, I'm with ppl that rly love and care about me.
So yeah you might see in the next few months me being wayyyyy more talkative about things I kept private for a long time
#to be loved really is to be changed huh#idk if any of you have ever felt like real acceptence with ppl#after being shamed so much#its really a wild euphoric feeling
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i am unwellll god this show is killing me
#im also physically not too great bc of an annoying cold but thats besides the point#those two last slow horses eps got Serious goddamnn#i almost screamed when the next season teaser showed up i didnt expect it at all#bc now im not sure i thought there were only 4 books so where are they getting that story from#it looked very intriguing though#ok spoilers here------------------------------------------------------------------------#wasnt surprised to find out about his dad tbh it totally made sense and i expected it#still very fun though#and then lamb being genuinely and visibly upset at chapmans death was also wild#so upset about marcus too#oddly upset about patrice i really liked him lol hes such an interesting character#and god the end about bringing the OB to a home and it was clearly so difficult to do#couldnt even stay with him bc he couldnt bear to see him like that he knew he didnt want this godd my heart#it felt so real too like thats something people go through all the time#i wanted to get the third book today but there was a problem checking it out and the library staff wasnt around after opening times#so i gotta go back tomorrow i think#man i was very casual about this story for the first and second season and now its completely taken over
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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg
#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with#like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks#but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do#and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration#and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just#go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na#and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta#style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine#you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents#im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless#but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just#doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the#point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc#but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time#and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally#having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn#checking my fever sote jaagte#like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being#like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still#idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love#not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional#and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen#horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she#wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay#moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld
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hello hi. We associate you with blues, pinks, and purples, and the moon and the ocean and beach. We associate you with love and happiness and perseverance and determination. We associate you with Kirby and Celebi and the Cleffa line. We associate you with having fun and good childhood memories and hatena of COURSE hatena how could we forget hatena!! We associate you with good memories and our whole life at this point, I cannot believe we've known each other for over a decade, what the fuck?
We associate you with being our best friend forever and ever and also we lov you. And we truly mean that! we lov you we lov you we lov you <3 <2.
Thank you for being in our life. Sorry this is rambly HSHSJSDKF -Heart
What if I cried what then?
#shut up alli#ask#THANK YOUUUUU WTF THIS IS SO SWEET AUGHHHH#I LOVE YOU TOO THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE THE WHOLE TIME#it's a badge of honor cuz the bitches who have been with me since my teenage years are the real ones like I was my worst there#like idk it's just genuinely wild and I appreciate you so much. I've been through a lot of friends leaving cuz that's life#but it's not something I've ever felt afraid of with you. our thing just feels natural and I'm overjoyed to have you in my life#so thank you for everything it's been a wonderful ride and I look forward to many more years <3#fave#so i can look at this every now and then bc wowwwww I love my friend#friends*? I MEAN ALL OF Y'ALL YOU KNOW JFLDSKJFS
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