#it doesnt have to be like this. and i do actually truly believe that for once which rly is a sign of how much prpgress ive made!!!!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I see so many posts over different social media platforms about sexuality/gender hcs for the strawhats and i want to add in my own two cents because i believe im very correct (but anyone’s opinion is valid so long as it doesnt go against canon coding)
Luffy - the most aroace and trans guy to ever BREATHE. i dont mean aroace in that hes somewhere on the spectrum where he can still be attracted to people, because he cant. this guy had never grasped the concept of romance and never will, because theres no reason for it to him. hes trans because i say he is, i dont have many reasons for THAT but its just the signals hes sending me. trans to trans communication trust
Zoro - gay. thats it thats the post. no but i dont ship luffy with anyone but zoro is just attracted to literally any man who is strong, thats his criteria and thats all he ever needs. is he aware of it? not at all, he has no idea that its not normal to get bricked up by the thought of other men
Nami - i havent seen a bigger lesbian in media ever, genuinely i dont think any other character is as obviously lesbian as she is. she loves girls unapologetically no matter what, supports all girls at the end of the day (cough kalifa) . i also hit her with the asexual beam because i can, specifically demisexual because i THINK so
Usopp - while i wanna consider kaya, i wanna consider sanji too and thats making me lean between bi or omni even if omni is a label under the bi umbrella. its more a question of if he recognises his preference for men or not, because he does prefer then at the end of the day. the ace beam bounces from nami to usopp because he too doesnt feel anything and doesnt think about it either
Sanji - oh my god where do i begin. maybe just the blatant queer coding of wci as a whole?? of course hes attracted to women, thats not an aspect you can remove or just toss around to being something else. he loves and respects women, but he is so QUEER. all of wci is just queer coding, its a queer story and sanji is a queer character i will die on this hill. he probably has some kind of gender issues too, what specifically? no clue, but he likes people of multiple genders and is in deep denial about it all the time he wont ever truly accept it but he can one day as a treat live with that fact
Chopper - oh hes a reindeer he cant really have a sexuality DID WE FORGET THE FACT HES HUMAN TOO ISNT THAT LIKE HIS WHOLE THING, NOT BEING A MONSTER BUT ALSO A HUMAN. HE IS BOTH? i dont have any specific labels to slap onto him, just that hes a people lover and encourager of literally everything. ace beam bounces onto him too
Robin - trans trans trans trans trans trans trans trans you will accept robin transfem into your life right here right now. she can like anyone, she has no label on it, she just likes people and cant bother with genders or anything like that. the ace beam actually skips her because if they were doing a hear me out cake she’d be the one putting all of the crazy things. freak. (lovingly)
Franky - HOW TRANS CODED IS IT NOT TO REBUILD YOUR OWN BODY TO BECOME A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF AND TO REBUILD YOUR LIFE IN A WAY YOU WANT, BUT GOING BACK TO WHAT YOU LOVED ABOUT YOUR OLD SELF, AND EMBRACING IT. literally, trans goals. he modified his body and went i might as well give myself top surgery and an awesome dick while im here!! sexuality wise hes a lover of everyone, but he has preferences for women (robin) but encourages all bromances (with brook)
Brook - THIS IS WHERE IM MOST PASSIONATE!!!! people can say that hes the token straight grandpa. but theyll never understand the joy of old gay brook had a romance with his captain, the joy of brook trying to subtlety let the other strawhats know he accepts them (he isnt subtle at all and everyone knows). look at brook in drag twice for no reason and tell me he isnt queer, in some way. the ace beam finally hits someone and its brook, insert skull joke here
Jinbei - very specifically old gay man who didnt really do much throughout his youth, he always knew he liked men but he never had TIME to do anything, too busy being awesome and a father i fear. now that hes with the crew he isnt automatically gonna seek anyone out, but hes also not gonna restrain himself from finding interests in people, hes being more selfish now and thats good for him. finally the ace beam hits jinbei and proceeds to fly off towards other op characters that i might talk about some other time
can you tell im asexual and love projecting onto characters with it !!!!
#one piece#headcanon#straw hat pirates#straw hat crew#one piece strawhats#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#nami#sanji#black leg sanji#tony tony chopper#nico robin#franky#soul king brook#first son of the sea jinbe#jinbei#jimbei#sexuality#gender#lgbtqia#wow this took long to tag and write#noahsop
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
God every day I think about Akane’s breakdown in door 3 because there really is no correct way to interpret that and every possibility makes me crazy. Like she sees this fucked up corpse whom Junpei (and the player, depending on how they play) believes is their friend Snake, but she knows that it’s Guy X. It’s a man she very intentionally put in the game for this very purpose, so that he could die horrifically and be displayed for everyone to see. And she has a full mental breakdown over being trapped in this room with the corpse, being trapped by Junpei, to the point where she rips out her hair and starts bleeding from how much she bangs on the door screaming to get out. And fuck, there’s so many possibilities like
Akane could be feeling genuine terror over the sight of the body, and with that remorse. She made this happen, she wanted this to happen, and now she’s forced to quite literally watch the damage she’s caused unfold. She can detach herself from his murder easily in other timelines where she doesn’t have to look at it, and she can sleep easy knowing that her hands are technically clean because she didn’t do the literal killing. But she can’t do that here, and she has to face the fact that not only did she happily cause this death, she failed her mission. She isn’t going to survive, and now this man is dead for nothing and everything is her fault
On the other hand, her entire breakdown could be completely fabricated in order to keep playing the role of the damsel in distress who is so innocent that the very sight of blood drives her to insanity. The interesting part about this is that if she could fake such a horrific breakdown, just how much of her personality a facade? We know she wants revenge, for everyone from Cradle to feel even an ounce of the pain she and so many others went through, but we don’t get to see the extent of how much she feels this way. We never hear directly from Akane about her feelings on any of the original organizers, just her note about her desire to punish them. She hates them, but does she see their deaths as a necessary evil, or does she feel joy and satisfaction at watching them go? It’s absolutely horrifying not knowing, not being able to see her true feelings, not knowing just how real or fake she is, the extent of her madness. Perhaps she doesn’t even know that herself
IN OTHER WORDS, it’s fucked
#zero escape#akane kurashiki#the truth lies somewhere in the middle im sure#but god both possibilities are so tasty#personally i think her reaction is fake to an extent like i think she does feel at least some joy over the murders#shes doing a good deed and ridding the world of evil#but i think that this is a rare moment where she actually thinks for a minute about what shes done and how its fucked#like shes never truly present in the moment she can never fully grasp the severity of the trauma#and i kinda want to believe that this route is a bit unexpected for her#like she had to have known it was a possibility but its entire existence relies on junpei betraying the others#and i think that she was ready to write it off as a rare possibility so she didnt worry about it too much#because the only thing holding junpei back from choosing door 3 is aoi saying that picking it would require leaving people to die#and akane has nothing but her trust that junpei is good and wouldnt do something so horrible to rely on#but then it happens and she cant handle the uncertainty she wasnt ready for ANY of this to happen#not only did junpei betray the others he betrayed HER in so many ways he doesnt realize#he did what he thought was good for june but its exactly the opposite hes not only damned her#but he trapped her in a room with the disgusting corpse that she put there and everything throws her off#and she has to confront that even junpei is unpredictable and is capable of evil and that she herself has fucked up so much#she cant escape this without literally STEPPING INTO the entrails of someone she killed#and its all just too much and she completely loses it#so yeah for me its less a mental breakdown cuz she feels bad for murder#but more a breakdown because shes been betrayed and caught off guard and has a brief realization of how terrifying her actions are#those may sound the same but they arent please guys please :(#as you can see im very normal about this and good god 999 is so fucking good
128 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yeahhhh I actually do think I have a problem with US leftists who are planning not to vote
#i deeply deeply understand the desire to Not vote for harris. i truly do get it#but liberal inaction is such a disease. like why are people expecting praise for doing nothing#in a presidential race with only 2 possible outcomes & one which will cause unimaginably greater suffering#doing nothing is arguably the worst thing you could do actually! that is what i believe!#and i have noticed that none of the people advocating against voting are offering an alternative plan#it just doesnt seem like great political literacy to me#it's short sighted & it disregards the fact that the safety of targeted groups requires sacrifice on everyone's part
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive actually put myself in so many situations and seem to come out doing socially well, youd think at some point i could get it in my head im not irredeemably bad
#that post about dysphoria like ‘u feel like ur covered in slime and people will eventually see the rot’ rly truly hits it#idek if its dysphoria or autism or what at this point#maybe its everything#but shit#ive stayed at hostels and hung out with and chatted w complete strangers#i went back to my hs reunion this week and actually hung out w people i thought didnt fw me anymore#my coworkers generally seem to like me- its felt rare when one didnt which is a shocking percentage#ive maintained friendships with my core group of friends despite living w them for over a year (u know how that can go) and not#being able to participate in like half the activities they do (sex parties i dont wanna attend or im busy at work)#made internet friends. believe it or not there was a time as a teen i thought id never be able to do that!#shit bitch even the guy i like who i constantly worry secretly hates me#and i constantly worry only puts up with me etc#yeah he doesnt always seem to let me in much but he barely lets anyone in?#comparatively he does seem to let me in a lot#i really have to remember to put things in perspective sometimes#just bc im not in my holmes/watson era or facetiming someone all day doesnt mean im a lonely loser……. smh#there was once a time i had no irl friends. I CHANGED THAT. I DID THAT. i can do anything
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
the fact that the us government can continue funding and arming a genocide despite massive public opposition really highlights how inherently non-democratic the united states is
#almost like the idea of a representative demcracy is both historically undemocratic and inherently is incapable of being so#by historically i mean that representative democracies have always meant the creation of a category of ‘citizen’ that is above ‘non-citizen#even the civilization where the term democracy comes from was patriarchal and had fucking slavery#not chattel slavery but (hot take) non chattel slavery is still bad.#also fundamentally one person can literally not represent the wishes of a large collection of people who have only geography in common.#theyre going to want different things!!!#now the idea of if democracy is inherently a virtue is like. another topic. but i will say that like seeing the history of like the#popular sovreignty movement wrt to slavery really made me question it. just because a lot of people want something to happen doesnt#actually mean it should happen. white people voted to legalize slavery#kind of where the old ‘minority’ terminology comes in. just by numbers alone in the states that had these votes it wasnt like in the south#where in the south because of plantations the actual population majority in some places was black.#but in those midwestern new states even if everyone person there could have voted. white people would still be the vasy majority.#honestly to a degree pointing out that none of the societies that have claimed to be democracies have truly been democratic is…#i guess the primary value in it is to challenge people who take state mythologies at face level#a very large population that i often forget exists.#the ‘they cant do that its illegal’ types.#anyways. if we consider that every society in documented history has had some type of violence and oppression#and if we believe that people are NOT inherently selfish/violent#it follows that what we need to do is something different than what we have been doing.#not just different from what we are doing right now. but different from what we have been doing for the past centuries#but also i can imagine that societies and ways of living that aren’t legible to the status quo or just went undocumented for other reasons#may have been more egalitarian. and we dont know due to erasure (either intentional or non-intentional)#both erasure and a fundamental inability of historians to comprehend it. similar to how cishet historians who cant fathom the idea of#transness or lesbianism talk about things.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
another doodle :3 mtt clothing swap!
DUST STOP SERVING WITH HORROR AND TAKE YOUR DEAD ASS BROTHERS SCARF OFF KILLER HES ABOUT TO HAVE A MOVIE REALISTIC PANIC ATTACK
#this is what bad sanses is to me#horrordust having the time of their lives and then the world + nightmare being out for killer#no because why do they look good in each others clothes. actually why did i ask theyre mtt OF COURSE they look good in eachothers clothes#i cant tell im just biased or not but dust doesnt look that bald without the hood the way i drew him#he looks FAR too similar to classic in my style though its unnerving. ive been noticing that recently its scary#change the colors on him thats classic. thats sans undertale#killer a PAPYRUS behind you 💙#hold up wait hold on??? DUST outfit killer... HORROR outfit dust... KILLER outfit horror........#that order of swaps is just like a certain other trio of mine. i wonder who. huh#swapinverse reference (only i understand because i have not told much about swapinverse to anyone)#triglycercule when will you stop talking about swapinverse when nobody knows about it and actually start swapinverse posting!!!!!#never (when i finish the full doc including character details and actual multiverse lore)#which will likely be in like 2027 or something idk man im a slow worker#slow in working and physical activity too 💔💔💔 triglycercule what can you not not do?#i can be unnecessarily into 3 freaks who dont even know eachother and put them into every situation together#truely comedic. thank you i know. i am truly a comic. call me the muse of comedy. call me....... thalia (gets shot)#ANOTHER swapinverse reference???? WE CANNOT LET BRO GET AWAY WITH THIS ‼️‼️‼️‼️#was gonna say bruh but then i realized i would sound too much like epic and um#listen epic i like you but id rather shoot myself than speak like you bruh#yet another doodle where killer is the butt of the joke. at least its not like 90% of other jokes like this#where killer either gets the shit beaten out of him or he gets yelled at or someone gets angry at him#i dont have the right to criticize the majority of the fandom's humor ill silence myself#tricule art#THIS one goes in tricule art because its digital and not traditional. i know thats medium discrimination. i dont care#can you believe i only drew this during a 5 hour flight. seriously. 5 HOURS 4 ONLY THIS?????#whatever at least ive been drawing. bare minimum is best minimum#as long as i keep draw...... eventually ill improve....... its literally impossible if i dont improve if i dont keep drawing#imGONNA improve soon trust (when will it happne 😞😞😞☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
guhhh
#I NEEEEDDDD attention and acknowledgment from every1 i consider a friend or i fucking die!!! dont let me die!!!!!#i will never actually vocalize that however. because it is entirely unreasonable of me and i should be content to sit in the background#they r busy. they do not have time for my stupid shit. they would b better off talking to their other friends anyways#the pain of not having friendship decay but also having a burning need for attention and interaction at the same time. sigh#*sudden realization i dont believe any of my needs or wants matter and am always asking too much/being inconvenient*#i mean am i truly wrong though. it doesnt matter what i want#that is what i have been taught. doesnt matter if i want help. or care. or attention. or to not go to college. or to hang out.#yk its really fucked up. to have both angry outbursts AND making yourself as small and unobtrusive as possible#worst of both worlds#trust me i dont like how i react either. my heart is too damn squishy even after all the shit that's happened that shouldve toughened it up#i literally should not care being in the background is all i have ever known. and yet.#and yet he dreams. a foolish dream. a dream where his presence and wants and needs mattered and people wanted to hear them.#toxi.txt
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok well i will text him tmr. to finally decide if im wasting my time or not lol
#🗞️#and like. most of me knows that i am but theres a small part of me thats like noooooooo you will be free and in love <3#where like. i wish i truly wish but i know i like him so much because he doesnt gaf a bout me + is mean to me + compliments me once#throughout the whole date and the way he does it makes me believe its a big deal + kisses me out in public when he doesnt like showing#affection in public + then ghosts me for over a week??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#like. as i said. most of me knows that its most probably a manipulation tactic and hes just playing with me and im just letting him#but a small stupid part of me is like nooooooooooo hes just shy and a coward and intimidated by me <3#last part probably true. also like. i do believe he is shy and a coward but also that hes manipulating me. but . let me have one more date#with him and then ill decide...............................#i wanna see him so bad thats the problem. like i actually like him i wanna see him i want to engrave myself into his skin. but nooooooooooo#🦌
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
so sorry for jensen and his absolute inability to be Just Some Guy. he wishes so badly that he could just fade into the background and instead i said no 🫶
#hes gorgeous but also i truly think he radiates a terrible aura of intensity#hes sooo chill i promise but nobody would ever believe it#(hes actually not chill but thats Under the layer of chill. if that makes sense. he cares about nothing until he does.)#i love jensen taking up space and having a presence despite that he really really really doesnt want it#idk babe maybe its bc you look like youll kill someone and you dress like youre in rehab for former emos. but what do i know.#jensen valentine
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
(credits to ssruis)
This song is the only thing keeping me going I do not play about mr showtime 😞 nothing ruined me (made my life better) the way this song did
(Sendn. Me songs to do this with in my ask box… sniffle…)
#circuses? heh.. yeah.. im familiar… jesters? oh#even better…. rellakinoko? now hold on this is already gonna be good… tsukasa tenma? im sold. the fish has been captured. im followinf the#sirens into the deepest parts of the sea and wont be coming back. Unfortunately i had gotten t1k (t571) on ensekai for phoenix and am still#bitter about it. Emu and nene came home but the ugly blonde didnt. This is why we’re having problems tsukasa#i have a mr showtime themed custom profile that needs to be finished aand i gotta work on my one for#tsukasa4#ill be more prepared for that one im certain of it#knocking on wood#PRAYING.#t500 would have been nice you know… unfortunately i ran out of resources.#i think the amount of time and love ive poured into making everything abt this event makes up for this though. Also this is gonna sound#obnoxious but i feel like one of the five people who actually. You know. Get the event. Like its importance which ill elaborate on in a#future post. Everybody wants to talk about this event but nobody wants to read the story#and the side stories Guysss ur missing out its so good when youre not forcing urself to think tsukasa has an ed and dont even know a single#thing abt acting yet believe one google search can prove that method acting is Absolutely Totally Going To Ruin His Life#i dont think fasting was alright it was pretty stupid but what he did doesnt make him have an ed or this or that#I do think you should be very. Very careful with method acting by the way. That can mess you up. But i dont think thats where theyll be#taking tsukasa in the future. Yes itd be nice to show the risks and get a You know be careful but its not as dark and This is gonna ruin hi#😞😨My poor baby!! As people think#omg i got sidetracked LET ME TALK ABT THE BINGO???1?1? Easily distracted ass#Uhm. Where do i begin. Nvm i dont wanna write too much more but this song truly does mean the world to me#And rella’s art is so goood my eyes are always glued to it. For some reason i keep having trouble fcing the expert chart for it on ensekai#ut was just fine on jpsekai. Frowny face. I could listen to the song all day though#Those instrumentals are popping offff i tell you#hidden circus#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#wansho#commissioned song#prsk
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
me (not joking, very stressed): i think im going to have a mental breakdown if something else goes wrong here.
everyone irl: hahahhahaa ur so funny(:
#i am literally 2 secobds from vomiting over how stressed i am about some worm stuff#*work stuff#but im glad my discomfort is entertaining for them 🙃🙃🙃#(im seriously fine i just have crippling anxiety to the point i speedran the medcard process in my state from how mt assessment went)#(and this would stress Anyone out so yk. i feel like im dying hahahaha)#im also aware mt reaction 8s an over reaction#it just like. kinda sucks that even when im being genuine no one believes me ;~;#no one really believes me unless im like. Actively spiraling in front of them#and then instead of offering support 9/10 ppl get mad and scared and upset that im having a reaction Period#bc they are so large and disproportionate 🤩#anyway. i may actually vomit about this cauze.my stomach wont calm down#and like theres truly solutions there#theres truly things that can be done#im just..so crisised out#between work and personal i have literally not had a SINGLE MONTH this year w/o some major crisis happening around me that im pulled into#i feel so sick#and i have to isolate myself to fix this but dont have the tiiiiiiiiiime available#so yk. doing Great (':#yes this is why ive been extremely online the last few months and Shari everything#i Cannot keep this in and i Cannot talk to people abt it#bc im at a place now where if im asked probing questions theres a 80% chance im gonna wanna explode#and ethically kt doesnt feel ok to go to people Knowing this will happen#im so deeply bot ok rn i am like. woozy#oh no
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
see the thing that i like so much about ruina so far is that it doesnt feel like its telling you to do something. like, specifically, it presents characters in situations, and reveals how they handle it. and afterwards... its just over. theyve simply done what they had to. theres never really any "ah, they were Flawed because they did This, so instead of doing That you should take This lesson from it." characters just... Are, and Do. theres no heavy urge to chamge the way you think, for lack of a better description. rather, it places down concepts and leaves it there, giving space for Thought rather than Explanation.
even with cut ins of angela and roland doing their own commentary-- it's never really presented as a You Should Take This Concept From This, but rather as... them Also figuring it out. because Everyone in the cast is just... odd, messy, flawed-- human. you can take away the same thing they do, or not. because everyone just does what they think is right, and deal with the consequences of it. it doesnt matter. things just move on. theres something refreshing about it.
#piktalk#verrry tagramble but um#like um. grain of salt because i havent Finished and havent had time to gather actual thoughts abt it so i may just be wrong--#but again. ruina with the steel chair.#not 2 get personal again but that has just kind of been on my mind a lot recently--#how often it is that other opinions simply... rub off on you. how theres just what youre Supposed to do or think.#that theres just one True way of thinking that everyone should strive for. when thats just... not how that really goes.#that theres a Right way to think and a Wrong one. when really its just kinda... choices. made to the best of ones ability in the moment.#it doesnt Have to be Good or Right. life goes on anyway. and somehow that can be just as scary as some sort of percieved 'wrong'.#and additionally-- how easy it is to Say you should act or think a certain way-- when truly understanding; believing; following it--#--is an entirely different story. its easy to tell yourself to just not worry; to have patience and kindness; to just keep your head high.#but actually enacting it takes effort. and not just that; but that those dour emotions that come with that inability--#--are just as important to acknowledge and give their space.#idk. i could be bullshitting. ig what it comes down to is#its nice to watch characters just... Make Decisions and Deal With Them. and thats it. no grand sweeping statements of Certainty. it just Is#ruina is very much one of those series i feel unqualified to speak for; as if others just Get It more than me; but... i speak anyhow !
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
venting sorry... don't want to just delete it bc it helps to get it out just ignore this post pls 👍
haven't slept much at all and feeling so sick andstressed and in pain bc my period is due and so tired its making me dizzy but i cant sleep more or ill just feel more sick and I want a hug and to cry so hard into someones shoulder but no one cares or will even come near me it makes me feel diseased they think things about me that aren't true bc I struggle so much to communicate and thry all make assumptions insteqd and no one wants to give me space to talk to them about it so I cant undo that now and its all my fault and I'm so. exhausted :-(
#going to try and stay awake until lunch at least and yhen maybe ill take a nap. but i need to be able to sleep rpoperly tonight#at least i know im only feeling depressed bc my period is due which means my meds dont work how they should#like its kind of weird n psychologically interesting to feel so depressed again suddenly bc i havent been at all lately#well theres not much i can do abt feeling sick and in pain but ill take it easy. wasnt planning on leaving the house today anyway#and i do need to find a way to talk to ppl abt shit im struggling to communicate bc it really does bother me. and i dont want to do this#im tired of keeping everything in and wound so tightly i just want to feel seen and safe around someone please. please 🥹#its all well n good getting along with people better than i rver havebut if they still wont support me when im going through it#then it fades into shallowness like our friendship still has value. but im unable to feel close to them or safe around them#and right now im glad im doing so well im glad of so manynthings but its so scary to know that if i start doing bad again there is#noone and nothing there to catch me i dont have anything in the way of a safety net just myself. so better not fall 👍#and irs been makinf me feel so horrible lately bc my mum has been trying to emotionally drpend on me again and its making me feel like#when i was a teenager again and i was fighting for my fucking life against what i didnt know was mental illness and i had no outlet and#nowhere to go and i wanted to die so badly and meanwhile everyone around me was completely unaware and making me handle all of their#emotional issues and i was trapped there absorbing everyone elses damage and not being able to express mine and thankfully i didnt kill#myself and i got out and ive gotten so much bettee and worse and better sinxe and how i feel now is nothing like that really but im just#being reminded of it a lot and how hard expressing myself is and sometimes it feels like ive made so little progress#in thetorture labyrinth out here. but i dont want to do this forever i need to get better at expressing i just need people to support me#but i feel unsupported its like thin ice. but its alsonmy fault for not trusting. i dontnknowwwww.#maybe when i dont have to pay for private meds anymore and when i get this raise at the end of the year ill try therapy again#i dont think itll solve the issue bc its the ppl i care abt in my life that i need to be able to talk to. but maybe i can get some#better tools to help me be able to do that. i dontnknow i dont want to think about it anymore actually im going to go do smth else#sorry for venting its been a really nice weekend genuinely feeljng so good in general atm. and yeah i still struggle with the same things#but generally ive been handling their effect on my mental health so much better!!!! like im still feeling okay regardless of them#but they are still there and i will need to go from tolerating them to dissolvjng them at some point if i want to feel okay long term#it doesnt have to be like this. and i do actually truly believe that for once which rly is a sign of how much prpgress ive made!!!!#working on my shit is a fucking lifelong project....as im sure it is for everyone else too. all of our first time on planet earth#we will get through yhis. and anyway how i feel now is super temporary jsut triggered by a few thingsand ill keep reacting to them this#way until i managr to properly resolve them properly instead of folding them nicely and tucking them out of view#bleugh. okay yeah thats enough for now. meds softening the edges too ive stopped crying which is smth#chilling for a bit n then im going to watch some tv or a movie and iron and polish my boots and after lunch i might draw. or not we'll see
1 note
·
View note
Text
I genuinely agree with your take. It's true that the trauma Rayla experienced doesn't excuse her actions, but it deeply explains the reasoning behind it. And in a way, you see Amaya soften up after seeing herself in Rayla in terms of being stoic, strong, and lonely in handing things alone. She's opened up more. Callum refuses to let Rayla push him away, that everything they do and face, they do it together, accepting his help and leaning on him for support. Little by little, she's growing and maturing, and I'm proud of her. There's still a long way to go for her, but she will get there.
With all the time that all four of Rayla's parents have spent self-reflecting, whether in the coins or while being alone and self-isolated from the community over the last two years, I sincerely hope that it can transition to all five of them reconciling, healing and repairing their broken, fractured family. No doubt that all 4 of her parents are incredibly scarred, haunted, devastated, and extremely hurt by the failures and negligence committed. Imagine the uncontrollable, horrifying nightmares they must be having of Rayla, being tormented by her memory every night. Their hurt, pain, heartbreak, emotional/psychological torture, and suffering are perhaps far worse than we imagined. I wouldn't even know where to begin with addressing Moonfam's family issues. But they deserve to have their family again after all they've been through.
But Rayla also has a right to feel and express her anger, resentment, disdain, animosity, and even her rage towards all four of her parents for what they put her through. Let her say what she needs to say. Let Rayla be angry and messy.
Seeing people crap on arc two Rayla genuinely makes me sad. I don't think many people truly realize the depth of Rayla's isolation. What happened to all the characters in arc one was horrible (I am not down playing that), Callum and Ezran lost their father, and Soren lost his family, but they all had Katolis to go back to. Their home. Rayla lost EVERYTHING. She lost the assassins who she grew up with and trained her, she lost her home, and worst of all she lost her parents. She lost Runaan and Ethari in one go, only months after her parents. And all she had to remember them by was what they taught her. And they taught her self sacrifice, they taught her to do questionable things in the name of protection and the greater good. Viren threatened everything she loved which WAS Callum and Ezran, and she thought he was still alive. She was stuck in fight or flight mode, she was bathed in trauma. And she had a point in TTM, everyone was just moving on, and didn't take or let her have anytime to truly grieve. She was in such a dark place in TTM and it influenced her decisions. She knows she did something wrong, she knows she hurt Callum. She hasn't brought herself to apologize yet, but why did we stop treating her as human? (Or elf, as it were)
Also hi, I've recently been liberated from TDP reddit
#he gets it better than anyone. and i fully believe that him knowing that is part of why he did eventually accept her back and fight so hard#understands the hardships rayla has endured with her family and society as well as callum does. callum was actually there to see part of it#for her and defend her once he healed some. i feel like some people who comment on the bond between rayla and callum in s5 being too nice#too quick or whatever may not have the most healthy relationship with some people theyre close to irl. i know thats making a big assumption#but when you truly love and care about someone and are mature enough you understand when its important to accept them back in after theyve#hurt you. it is NOT always appropriate to do so. some people are too toxic to do that with and theyll just hurt you more. but sometimes#thats not the case. sometimes you understand that person deeply and love them as a person so much that you accept them back. which helps#with healing for both of you. again. not always applicable. definitely have to weigh the options on if its worth it to still keep that#person around for your own mental health and stuff. but for these two. it is worth it. especially cuz they both know they have flaws as#their own people but still see it worth it to love each other anyway. its sweet. and i guess some people just cant accept that.#(and are also the kind of people that will probably just hate a lot of women characters anyway no matter what they do)#ive kinda lost the plot here. which im good at doing. but yeah. no one understands rayla as deeply as callum and ez do. and callum even#moreso than ez. he especially knows and understands what is tormenting her. which some toxic people who watch the show dont seem to#understand. also id like to add- the trauma that has happened to rayla does not EXCUSE her actions. what she did was still bad. but her#trauma does EXPLAIN her actions. those are 2 distinct things that once realized can help with recover and growth imo. and i feel like#callum knows that to at least some extent#imo more people need to understand the concept of 'this doesnt EXCUSE their actions but does EXPLAIN them' because it really is good to#remember for irl stuff. for both themselves and other people. its a concept i do not think a lot of toxic people grasp.#in any fandom and irl#im rambling so so bad rn im real sorry#< i hear you. no worries. i completely understand.#you bring up a lot of valid fair points#appreciate your take on it#apologies for my rambling as well#the dragon prince
367 notes
·
View notes
Text
its all about self, not the physical object.
its so interesting knowing u are never manifesting a material object, but the version of u with that object. u are always manifesting urself, thats why we always want the feeling & why the material world (3d) is always neutral. since everything is u -> u are always manifesting you!
stop trying to "get" the material object and BEcome the person who already has it. there is a difference between the two. there are infinite STATES, infinite versions of YOU, not versions of that car or that acceptance letter (<-reread this until it clicks!) BE it, dont chase it.
the object does not define the person. edward art said that two ppl can have the same clothes. lets say two ppl have a juicy contour tracksuit; one knows they are poor and ugly & the other knows they are rich and beautiful.
the object doesnt mean shit for their identities!
objects cant change who you are - YOU change who you are! even if you think otherwise like the object brings you confidence aka a new identity, at the end of the day it is YOU deciding to change based on the object. its all you. stop putting objects on the pedestal! the change in identity and what you know to be true about yourself comes from YOU. THATS what u have to CHANGE, NOT the object itself. crave BEING that version of you, NOT the object.
you're always only manifesting yourself, never the object. this is a fact so idc if u think im wrong. we are always being (manifesting) a version of ourselves. and this version might have a material object but the root of it all is that we are always manifesting a version of US! NOT THE OBJECT. this also makes sense bc everything is only you (consciousness) so ofc you will always be manifesting yourself. thats why we say the only success story is when you change self/states/your identity or fulfill yourself! its all about YOU YOU YOU, not the OBJECT!
this connects to "you dont want the object, u want the feeling (knowing/fulfillment)." listen: OFC U WANT THE OBJECT. but yall gotta realize that the object gives u some kind of validation or satisfaction so thats WHY u want it.
you want a car -> you want the feeling/freedom of driving wherever, whenever; having control you want a glow up -> you want to know/feel comfrtoable in your own skin or have people love the way you look; self validation or validation from others you want to be with this sp bc you love them -> you want to be loved & give love; want to feel worthy of love, etc
everything comes down to SELF, what you KNOW about you. its the feeling that comes first and THEN the object. its not you want the object THEN the feeling. that makes no sense.
theres nothing wrong w acknowledging u want the feeling first. some of yall love arguing about how this is wrong but it actually helps so many ppl who get so hyperfixed on the object itself, getting unhealthy obsessions & anxieties over objects when getting objects isnt the goal.
i know for a fact that the ppl who say its wrong are the same ppl who havent felt fully fulfilled w something they want. bc when you become truly fulfilled, you literally KNOW you have it even when you dont physically have it. the feeling feels SO powerful.
you can even get fulfilled / know "negative shit" in the 3d. thats proof that the FEELING CONTROLS ALL. regardless of the physical, regardless of the objects. this is especially true since everything in the 3d is NEUTRAL. so feelings are all you can receive from it!
�� you are always manifesting yourself, not the object
☆ you want the feeling first, then the object regardless if you believe it
★ having a object doesnt change your state/identity -> you do
☆ stop focusing on the object & just be
kisses, cutie jani ☆
#etherealkissed🎀#etherealkissed#law of assumption#loa blog#manifesting#loassumption#neville goddard#edward art#imagination creates reality#loastates#loass states#loa assumptions#loa states#loassblog#loa tumblr
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
now that i've developed maverick a bit more, i have to think about how he was before the whole incident with zachary.
#as i said his brain did a complete change to deal with everything that happened; including killing zachary#after having his dead body in his house for hours he started to connect the dots of the situation he was in for months. he couldnt believe#it truly was zachary; the cheerful; perfect student everyone loved; who stalked him to the point he was terrified for his life#and that made him stop going to college because he was too scared to leave his house. but at the same he was scared to stay in his house#since his stalker knew where he lived; and they could just attack at any moment. man he wasnt even that close to zachary#he doesnt understand what happened for him to get that obsessed over him. but it was over. he killed him after he tried to murder him first#so that was it. but before he started to freak out over the possibility of going to prison for murdering someone#he just... changed. he turned into a totally different person; with his old personality completely dying and... well#replacing it with no actual personality besides someone obsessive who adapts to whatever his current beloved likes the most#and likes to pretend 'innocence' so his beloved would be quick to trust him. he wouldnt hurt a fly :)#and while the whole stalking was happening he turned into an anxious mess who would break down very easily and was generally very fragile#so... before that; i think he was probably trusting of people; maybe a bit too trusting. he was very shy#which made it difficult to make friends; but tried his best to be social and do it anyway. so it turned into trusting people easily#and anything slightly weird was assumed to be his mind playing tricks... which is why probably he didnt notice sooner who his stalker was#i mean; zachary was great at pretending; but he did started to get more 'protective' when the stalking started; when they werent that close#but it must have been because he was worried like the rest of their classmates! and after all he was the definition of a perfect person.#it would make sense for someone as good and caring as him to feel the need to protect a sort-of-friend; right? nothing bad; really.#he would also try his best to help someone if they were in that horrible situation anyway#i imagine he also had a slightly low self-esteem; but not to the worrying point. mostly because of his own shyness#alongside friendships; he didnt really that much luck with love in the past. but tried to stay positive and think he would find someone#and yeah; he was someone who tried to see the bright side of things; in a healthy amount. but that didnt really worked while being stalked#if someone left him gifts on his desk in college; that would be one thing. he may as well thought it was sweet in a 'secret admirer' way#but this person literally started to leave gifts on the door of his fucking house; when he never told anyone on college where he lived#and he was already out of touch with the few friends he had in high school + they were no longer his friends. so yeah#even he couldnt ignore that wasnt good or sweet; it was a real problem regardless of how much he couldve liked the gifts in another context#let alone when the goddamn love letters started. he could receive multiple in a day; he even got 15 in a single day#it couldnt be justified at all; and it made his already growing fear even worse.#so basically: he was a person who tried his best to do better; but someone had to ruin it. thanks; zachary /j#oc talk
0 notes