#it doesnt have to be like this. and i do actually truly believe that for once which rly is a sign of how much prpgress ive made!!!!

[lostinlovingrevery]

Just a thought and no offense but I think Logan just wants to be in love and feel loved in return.

(This isnt proofread and came out as rambling so have fun trying to read it and decipher it! 😅)

So WE ALL know that Logan can be flirty, and that he may have had a period where he was a bit of a manwhore (*cough* 70s Logan *cough*)

I feel like that period though, and any other flings, one night stands, etc whatever was less out of lust and more of a desperation to feel SOME kind of human connection bc the mans so lonely and has been treated like a soldier, a weapon for so long that hes desperate for human connection, even if it makes him end up feeling depraved afterwards. Post-nut clarity wakes him up next to some girl he met at a bar, and guilt sinks its teeth into him because he doesnt even know her name, much less actually LIKE her. The man was born in the 1800s, he may have grown with time but you cannot tell me theres not some inkling of being a gentleman- and wanting to find someone you truly love, hidden in there somewhere. I think overtime he may fall into this routine, believing he needed to be a walking sex magnet, gruff, cocky, whatever have you because hes convinced its the only way he can have a connection with someone, even if its for a few passionate moments under bedsheets, and an awkward "that was nice. Bye"

It only fuels his self hatred, convincing him that he really his just an animal, looking to get his sick desires out, eat, fuck, sleep, survive.

When we see him in the X movies, as a cage fighter he is brutal and rough and he doesnt seem to have a caring bone in his body yet he still manages to find himself caring about this young girl who stowawayed in his trailer, and does help her, even if he acts like this version of logan he created. Someone who doesnt care. But he cares. A lot.

Its not until he meets YOU, that he starts to wonder if he got it all wrong. Kind, beautiful, smart YOU.

I fully believe that logan just wants a partner. One night stands, flings, what have you, were just him lying to himself, desperate to feel something other than hate. After he lost his memories, and he began just wandering, the concept of love was lost on him. And lust wasnt there anymore either. He was approached by women, perfectly fine, pretty women, all the time during his time cage fighting, bars, etc. He turned them all away- completely opposite of logan 30-40 years ago (my timing probs not right on xmen lol) who was convinced the only way he was living was if he had ass next to him every night he went to sleep because he was lonely. This version of logan, lost, angry, wanted nothing to do with people. Some of it the repressed feelings coming out from his past that he doesnt even remember. He was convinced then that he had to be alone. Becoming a lone wolf that bared his teeth at anyone who tried to pet it. Secretly though, deep down although he wouldnt admit it, there was that deep desire, that he always felt in his 200 years, that he just wanted to find his mate. He'd call soulmates bullshit if you asked him, but the moment he meets you, hed know that it was real, and that maybe god cursed (gifted) him the ability of healing and practical immortality just so he could find you. And hed do it over and over again, the pain and suffering and loneliness, if it meant you would be the endgoal.

Logan is a pack animal. He needed a family, to protect, and cherish. When he meets and ends up at the x-men, his demeanor and attitude changes quickly to something similar to a dog that snaps at you when you pet it only for it to whine and whimper "im sorry, please dont hate me, i just dont know how to accept love.". Hes still wary, because hed never KNOWN a family before. Put aside his memory loss, the closest things he had to a family was a creep of a brother, and a woman who said she loved him under false pretenses (i still dont like you kayla even if you say it was real). He barely knew his parents, and even then that was a lie because his father wasnt even his biological father. Yeah, Logans life was pretty damn lonely, so its no wonder the man is cautious of anybody and anything.

The moment you come into his life though, that bitterness, anger, and meaningless flirting goes right out the window. Hes serious about you. Hes usually cautious, nervous around people but he meets you and its almost like he threw all those imaginary rules he has for himself out of the window.

Look at how he was with Jean in the movies. He barely knew the woman, they barely shared ANY lines in the movie yet he was almost completely devoted (dont get me started on that storyline). Trust didnt come easy to the wolverine. And Kayla- their relationship just shows how much he wants love and to be loved. I never seen origins but a lot of gifsets and read the synopsis of the plot, but i think he had a feeling with Kayla he couldnt trust (remember how he says hell never go against his gut again?) But he so badly just wanted that connection he ignored all the warning signs and did everything to build a life with this woman who not only tricked him, but put him through unimaginable pain both physically and mentally. (Look I REALLY dont like kayla but i do feel bad for her because stryker did have her sister captive). I know stryker is the evil mastermind here, but god imagine trying to find love with someone, only for it all to be a farce, even if they claimed they did love you the entire time- the intentions from the very beginning was far from love.

Oh but when he is in love with you. From the moment he met you, it wasnt love at first sight exactly, more like a feeling that you were it. Hes all about you. He sticks around, under the pretense that he just needed to make some money first, doing some missions for charles, keep an eye on rogue. He cant admit its because he wants to stay close to you. Hes like a feral cat taking shelter in your shed. Stays away at first, cautious of your spspspsp, but curious nonetheless. Completely ignores the first bowl of food you put down for it- or so you thought because when you came back it was completely devoured. It takes weeks of food and spspsps before it finally warms up to you, but after that first contact with your hand and its head- good luck ever getting rid of it. Not that youd want to 😊

Logan becomes a shadow to you, once you become something akin to friends. (Its really more than that but no ones addressed it). He teases you and flirts with you, and its something you think he does with everyone, until Ororo tells you that he only does it to you. Sometimes he just sits in your company, other times hes curious about what youre working on, not wanting to start the convo, but does things like leering over your shoulder (which he may or may not be doing just to he close to you and get a good whiff of the smell of your hair). He stresses when you go on missions without him. He slowly opens up about his past to you when he begins to get his memories back. Trusting only you (and maybe charles) with the truth ablut the man he used to be, and still is.

When your feelings finally do come out in the open though, however it happens, that first kiss, the first time you make love, etc etc. Logans a different man. I mean, hes still that cocky, grumpy person we all know and love. But he carried himself differently. Hes confident and wiser, hes comfortable, and hes happy. He found a home, his pack. And maybe after countless conversations about his past, the things hes done, and the comforting words and understandings you give him, he starts to learn that he isnt so bad, because if you love him, YOU, the most wonderful person hes ever known in 200 years, love him despite all of his violence and hatred and slight whoreish tendecies back in the 70s...then he must be alright.

He doesnt need to worry about his past anymore, when hes got you, right there with him, promising a loving future together.

[jackass-jones]

God every day I think about Akane’s breakdown in door 3 because there really is no correct way to interpret that and every possibility makes me crazy. Like she sees this fucked up corpse whom Junpei (and the player, depending on how they play) believes is their friend Snake, but she knows that it’s Guy X. It’s a man she very intentionally put in the game for this very purpose, so that he could die horrifically and be displayed for everyone to see. And she has a full mental breakdown over being trapped in this room with the corpse, being trapped by Junpei, to the point where she rips out her hair and starts bleeding from how much she bangs on the door screaming to get out. And fuck, there’s so many possibilities like

Akane could be feeling genuine terror over the sight of the body, and with that remorse. She made this happen, she wanted this to happen, and now she’s forced to quite literally watch the damage she’s caused unfold. She can detach herself from his murder easily in other timelines where she doesn’t have to look at it, and she can sleep easy knowing that her hands are technically clean because she didn’t do the literal killing. But she can’t do that here, and she has to face the fact that not only did she happily cause this death, she failed her mission. She isn’t going to survive, and now this man is dead for nothing and everything is her fault

On the other hand, her entire breakdown could be completely fabricated in order to keep playing the role of the damsel in distress who is so innocent that the very sight of blood drives her to insanity. The interesting part about this is that if she could fake such a horrific breakdown, just how much of her personality a facade? We know she wants revenge, for everyone from Cradle to feel even an ounce of the pain she and so many others went through, but we don’t get to see the extent of how much she feels this way. We never hear directly from Akane about her feelings on any of the original organizers, just her note about her desire to punish them. She hates them, but does she see their deaths as a necessary evil, or does she feel joy and satisfaction at watching them go? It’s absolutely horrifying not knowing, not being able to see her true feelings, not knowing just how real or fake she is, the extent of her madness. Perhaps she doesn’t even know that herself

IN OTHER WORDS, it’s fucked

[antigonescholar]

Yeahhhh I actually do think I have a problem with US leftists who are planning not to vote

[marsixm]

ive actually put myself in so many situations and seem to come out doing socially well, youd think at some point i could get it in my head im not irredeemably bad

[lwcina]

the fact that the us government can continue funding and arming a genocide despite massive public opposition really highlights how inherently non-democratic the united states is

[toxifoxx]

guhhh

[tsukasalover]

(credits to ssruis)

This song is the only thing keeping me going I do not play about mr showtime 😞 nothing ruined me (made my life better) the way this song did

(Sendn. Me songs to do this with in my ask box… sniffle…)

[infizero]

every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

[bunnyboy-juice]

me (not joking, very stressed): i think im going to have a mental breakdown if something else goes wrong here.

everyone irl: hahahhahaa ur so funny(:

[phagodyke]

venting sorry... don't want to just delete it bc it helps to get it out just ignore this post pls 👍

haven't slept much at all and feeling so sick andstressed and in pain bc my period is due and so tired its making me dizzy but i cant sleep more or ill just feel more sick and I want a hug and to cry so hard into someones shoulder but no one cares or will even come near me it makes me feel diseased they think things about me that aren't true bc I struggle so much to communicate and thry all make assumptions insteqd and no one wants to give me space to talk to them about it so I cant undo that now and its all my fault and I'm so. exhausted :-(

[1lovepeace]

I genuinely agree with your take. It's true that the trauma Rayla experienced doesn't excuse her actions, but it deeply explains the reasoning behind it. And in a way, you see Amaya soften up after seeing herself in Rayla in terms of being stoic, strong, and lonely in handing things alone. She's opened up more. Callum refuses to let Rayla push him away, that everything they do and face, they do it together, accepting his help and leaning on him for support. Little by little, she's growing and maturing, and I'm proud of her. There's still a long way to go for her, but she will get there.

With all the time that all four of Rayla's parents have spent self-reflecting, whether in the coins or while being alone and self-isolated from the community over the last two years, I sincerely hope that it can transition to all five of them reconciling, healing and repairing their broken, fractured family. No doubt that all 4 of her parents are incredibly scarred, haunted, devastated, and extremely hurt by the failures and negligence committed. Imagine the uncontrollable, horrifying nightmares they must be having of Rayla, being tormented by her memory every night. Their hurt, pain, heartbreak, emotional/psychological torture, and suffering are perhaps far worse than we imagined. I wouldn't even know where to begin with addressing Moonfam's family issues. But they deserve to have their family again after all they've been through.

But Rayla also has a right to feel and express her anger, resentment, disdain, animosity, and even her rage towards all four of her parents for what they put her through. Let her say what she needs to say. Let Rayla be angry and messy.

Seeing people crap on arc two Rayla genuinely makes me sad. I don't think many people truly realize the depth of Rayla's isolation. What happened to all the characters in arc one was horrible (I am not down playing that), Callum and Ezran lost their father, and Soren lost his family, but they all had Katolis to go back to. Their home. Rayla lost EVERYTHING. She lost the assassins who she grew up with and trained her, she lost her home, and worst of all she lost her parents. She lost Runaan and Ethari in one go, only months after her parents. And all she had to remember them by was what they taught her. And they taught her self sacrifice, they taught her to do questionable things in the name of protection and the greater good. Viren threatened everything she loved which WAS Callum and Ezran, and she thought he was still alive. She was stuck in fight or flight mode, she was bathed in trauma. And she had a point in TTM, everyone was just moving on, and didn't take or let her have anytime to truly grieve. She was in such a dark place in TTM and it influenced her decisions. She knows she did something wrong, she knows she hurt Callum. She hasn't brought herself to apologize yet, but why did we stop treating her as human? (Or elf, as it were)

Also hi, I've recently been liberated from TDP reddit

[etherealkissed88]

its all about self, not the physical object.

its so interesting knowing u are never manifesting a material object, but the version of u with that object. u are always manifesting urself, thats why we always want the feeling & why the material world (3d) is always neutral. since everything is u -> u are always manifesting you!

stop trying to "get" the material object and BEcome the person who already has it. there is a difference between the two. there are infinite STATES, infinite versions of YOU, not versions of that car or that acceptance letter (<-reread this until it clicks!) BE it, dont chase it.

the object does not define the person. edward art said that two ppl can have the same clothes. lets say two ppl have a juicy contour tracksuit; one knows they are poor and ugly & the other knows they are rich and beautiful.

the object doesnt mean shit for their identities!

objects cant change who you are - YOU change who you are! even if you think otherwise like the object brings you confidence aka a new identity, at the end of the day it is YOU deciding to change based on the object. its all you. stop putting objects on the pedestal! the change in identity and what you know to be true about yourself comes from YOU. THATS what u have to CHANGE, NOT the object itself. crave BEING that version of you, NOT the object.

you're always only manifesting yourself, never the object. this is a fact so idc if u think im wrong. we are always being (manifesting) a version of ourselves. and this version might have a material object but the root of it all is that we are always manifesting a version of US! NOT THE OBJECT. this also makes sense bc everything is only you (consciousness) so ofc you will always be manifesting yourself. thats why we say the only success story is when you change self/states/your identity or fulfill yourself! its all about YOU YOU YOU, not the OBJECT!

this connects to "you dont want the object, u want the feeling (knowing/fulfillment)." listen: OFC U WANT THE OBJECT. but yall gotta realize that the object gives u some kind of validation or satisfaction so thats WHY u want it.

you want a car -> you want the feeling/freedom of driving wherever, whenever; having control you want a glow up -> you want to know/feel comfrtoable in your own skin or have people love the way you look; self validation or validation from others you want to be with this sp bc you love them -> you want to be loved & give love; want to feel worthy of love, etc

everything comes down to SELF, what you KNOW about you. its the feeling that comes first and THEN the object. its not you want the object THEN the feeling. that makes no sense.

theres nothing wrong w acknowledging u want the feeling first. some of yall love arguing about how this is wrong but it actually helps so many ppl who get so hyperfixed on the object itself, getting unhealthy obsessions & anxieties over objects when getting objects isnt the goal.

i know for a fact that the ppl who say its wrong are the same ppl who havent felt fully fulfilled w something they want. bc when you become truly fulfilled, you literally KNOW you have it even when you dont physically have it. the feeling feels SO powerful.

you can even get fulfilled / know "negative shit" in the 3d. thats proof that the FEELING CONTROLS ALL. regardless of the physical, regardless of the objects. this is especially true since everything in the 3d is NEUTRAL. so feelings are all you can receive from it!

★ you are always manifesting yourself, not the object

☆ you want the feeling first, then the object regardless if you believe it

★ having a object doesnt change your state/identity -> you do

☆ stop focusing on the object & just be

kisses, cutie jani ☆

[malkaviian]

now that i've developed maverick a bit more, i have to think about how he was before the whole incident with zachary.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Thinking about my desire for a mistaken identity time travel fic where Obito and Sasuke get tossed into the warring states, but bc Sasuke looks like an Izuna clone and Obito for some reason gets the wild hair look back, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna.

Notably, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna as they are in the middle of attempting to beat the ever-loving shit out of eachother.

And because Obito likes causing problems for Madara and Sasuke shrimply does not give a fuck and might even appreciate the fake identity alibi, they do nothing to actually deny the mistaken identity. Obito actually encourages it, usually by loudly agreeing with whoever shouts "omg its Uchiha Madara" as he lights shit on fire.

Anything to cause the real Madara more problem, right? Karma, bitch aa

He actually wants to cut his hair short again but the temptation of getting to continue to ruin Madara's reputation is too good, so he doesnt

ANYWAYS. Thinking about all of the above again w the context of my "Kakashi is related to and bears a resemblance to Tobirama" agenda thats been steadily growing in like. Actually, I think almost every Kakashi fic Ive written so far (oops)

Maybe I want Kakashi in this now. Maybe I'm also thinking about Tenzo, who got the same "oh for some strange reason my hair is longer now" treatment as Obito and with the Mokuton, can now be mistake as Hashirama by those who have never seen him. Or even people who have seen him but logically assume he's wearing a henge.

There's only one known man with the power of Mokuton-- why would the ever believe it wasn't Hashirama (unless they were close enough to the man to truly doubt it on a personal level)

I have no real ideas for an overarching plot, but like. Obito, Sasuke, Kakashi and Tenzo mistaken identity time travel my beloved,,

Kakashi and Tenzo traveled + landed together and Obito and Sasuke did the same so neither group is aware of the other

(Kakashi and Obito eventually figure it out bc of the shared eye connection I think)

But in the mean time they actually keep managing to avoid each other bc they'll hear rumors ab "Uchiha Madara" being spotted in the town over (Obito continues to be very loud about it very on purpose) and then avoid going there, while Sasuke hears the same, figures its Obito, and sprints over to try and bash his face in

Obito finally eventually gets cornered by Kakashi, Tenzo, and Sasuke and gets his shit rocked fr fr send tweet

Sasuke and Kakashi bonding moment(s) where we tackle the uhh. Everything. Of canon. And Sasuke gives Kakashi a crumb of respect back or smthn

Idk but I just want to see Sasuke call him sensei, don't ask me how we'd get there

Meanwhile when they're finally like, exposed or whatever there's just SUCH a mess there to be had

I'm choosing Uchiha Hikaku as my first contact bc I love him dearly and think he serves as good middleground between ranks of importance and relevance

So like. Picture this.

You are Hikaku. You're sent out to investigate some rumors about Madara and Izuna fucking shit up and causing a general mess some ways away. A henge, a slander campaign, the real Madara-sama is sure.

You get there and find 3 people fighting.

(Obito, Kakashi and Tenzo's first interaction. It's tense. They may all come from the final battle, after Obito changed his mind, but there were a lot of things left unsaid and also they all probably just wanna beat the shit out of eachother anyways. Things happen, things are said, a fight is had)

Two of them bear a passing resemblance to Madara and Tobirama respectively, and the 3rd has the look of a Senju to him.

Ok. So, Senju slander campaign? Gone... wrong, he'd assume by the fact that they were all fighting.

You then recognize that the fake Madara has mismatched eyes (!!!! What the fuck !!! Culturally significant thing there !! Was he born like that? Was it a transplant?)

And the fake Tobirama(?) has a whole stolen sharingan he seems to be ACTIVLEY using (WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! SOUND THE ALARMS!!!!! BLOODLINE THIEF ALERT !!!!!!!!)

You debate between just watching or entering the fight, but then the fake Tobirama makes some sort of reference to his sharingan eye belonging to the fake Madara's.

All thoughts come to a screeching halt.

Ok. So. Gonna get involved now.

There's a clear side here (Uchiha vs potential Senju) Hikaku can not leave his clanmate to die, and he doesn't yet know how he might have been involved in the slander campaign so it's honestly best to put this guy in his pocket and bring him back to Madara anyways

So Hikaku enters the battle, everyone makes appropriate shocked pikachu faces bc no one noticed him and aw shit it's gonna get more complicated, cool, awesome, great

(Also note; Hikaku became the eventual Uchiha head after Madara's defection so there's also a "oh shit no way" reaction from Obito specifically who knows this information. And also maybe Kakashi who I imagine knows a lot of Konoha's history and politics)

Battle continues, Tenzo uses Mokuton, Hikaku gets appropriately freaked the FUCK out at the idea of another mokuton user

Then Sasuke comes crashing out of nowhere , yay !!!

(Kakashi and Tenzo, who did not know Sasuke was here yet and are only seeing him for the first time, make more surprised pikachu faces)

Sasuke, who... possibly knew Kakashi and Tenzo were around and may have been avoiding them, wanting to signal that for now at least they were all on the same side (against Obito) nods to Kakashi specifically and gives a tense and sort of stilted, "sensei."

SO. HIKAKU IS KIND OF GOING THROUGH IT OVER HERE NOW.

Sasuke is a dead fucking wringer for Izuna in the way that only a direct relation can be. I'm talking they could absoloutley pass for twins kind of relation. Worst of all, they look around the same age (Sasuke is only a few years younger)

Hikaku is no longer fighting with a strange Uchiha against Senju agents he's now fighting with an Uchiha against another Uchiha (who's a dead wringer for his clan heir !!!!) He does not know who to believe or what side to exist on.

(Had this false Izuna called the fake Tobirama sensei? Oh god—)

Things happen, whether they lose or escape I don't know but it ends with an incredibly confused and concerned Hikaku returning to the Uchiha clan compound with tales of bloodline theft, another mokuton user, and horrifically— A possible sibling, lost and raised by the senju in secret.

Yeah. So. Madara won't react well to that. Madara won't react well to that at all.

(Izuna won't either, in the slightest. Does... does he have a twin...? Did he have a twin once, lost too early for their parents to bear to tell them...?)

It's incredibly hard for the Senju to deny any involvement when Hikaku has sharingan perfect memories to share of the fake-Izuna (Sasuke, they had called him Sasuke) standing side by side with a man who resembles Tobirama and another who is very fucking clearly using Mokuton. And that's "very fucking clearly using mokuton" seen by someone who has SEEN mokuton used in battle. Multiple times. He will not mistake it for anything else.

Anyways oops sorry for creating a horrible political scandal and also probably making the Uchiha/Senju wore like 10 times more charged teehee </3

(Obito doesn't give a shit. Sasuke swings violently between caring both too little and too much depending on the hour of the day and how the issue is framed. Kakashi and Tenzo are.... distracted. And undecided. And care about this issue from an "aw shit but Konoha wait no—" view point)

Ummmmm anyways endgame Konoha is made early (but possibly with a bit more blood involved) and Hikaku is made Hokage bc I fucking love Hikaku, yay the end !!!

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: idol!mingyu x idol!reader, 97 liner reader, best friends to lovers, jealousy, possessiveness, reader's got bitches, afab reader, smut, dry humping, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, very ambiguous description of what position they're in so pls go crazy with ur imagination, etc.

part 2

wc: 2730

a/n: thank u to the person that requested this i live for idol ausshsks also this isnt connected to my other idol!mingyu fics just fyi <3

masterlist

mingyu couldnt stand the sight in front of him anymore. he knew jungkook was charming, but for him to blatantly flirt with you in front of him was just going too far for his liking.

admittedly, mingyu knew that most of the other 97 liners had a bit of a thing for you, but it was common knowledge that mingyu had been pining for you for the longest time. there was an unspoken agreement; you were his. you'd been best friends basically since debuting, it was only fair that he got to have you over all your other friends.

except you were blissfully unaware of his feelings. you'd known each other for so long that you now chalked up his flirting to just a silly inside joke between the two of you. no matter how many advancements he made, you'd act none the wiser and keep him on a tight hold in the friend zone. yes, mingyu knew the friend zone wasn't a real thing. he understood women! but there was no better way to describe his current predicament. now he had to watch one of his best friends flirt with the love of his life. the only silver lining in all this was that you never flirted back. whether it be jaehyun paying for your meal, or yugyeom bringing you a drink in the morning, you never took it as anything further than friendship.

except right now you seemed to be ... reciprocating? was that your hand on jungkook's chest? what was happening right now? you never showed interest in jungkook. why were you now dangling a flirtatious smile right in front of mingyu's face? and not directed at him?

he could only sit there and watch you for so long until he grew tired of it. he wasn't ready to drag you away and profess his feelings for you just yet, but his emotions got the best of him, marching towards you as he grabbed your arm and walked you to a more secluded area, leaving jungkook to lightheartedly chuckle at his friend's possessive nature over you.

yes, jungkook might've had a thing for you before, but truly all he had wanted was to just provoke mingyu. he knew you werent actually flirting back but just playing along with him - as a friend, of course. and it seemed to have worked, as mingyu was now dragging a very unsuspecting you away as you followed with no questions asked.

mingyu only let go of you when you were finally alone, with a closed door to separate you from any possible intruders. he didn't say anything at first, wanting to calm himself down from his exasperated state before speaking up. he also had to think of an excuse as to why he took you away from jungkook just now.

"mingyu? what the hell was that?", okay, seemed like you didn't have the patience to wait for him. understandable.

"i- just ... why-why were you flirting with him?"

"what? i wasnt flirting. thats just how we talk to each other, you know that. you're the same way!"

"oh yeah? with your hand on his chest?", he chuckled bitterly. okay, he was taking this a little too personal. but how couldnt he? he'd been waiting for you to look his way all this years and instead you turn to his friend? any time he flirted with you you scolded him or just brushed him off, but you reciprocated his friend? this was nothing short of unfair in mingyu's eyes.

"mingyu. don't be so dramatic. it doesnt mean anything."

"okay, but what if it means something to me?"

"what? what do you mean?"

you were confused. and with good reason. despite what everyone else believed, he had been quite good at hiding his feelings from you. yeah, sure, he flirted with you and acted overly affectionate, but that was his just his personality. as you had just said, he was the same way with everyone. but what you hadnt known was that he always meant it when it came to you. his flirtatious advances? his words of affection? the longing gazes? they were all purposeful and completely sincere. and now he was just too fed up. he had waited too long, had watched from the sidelines as you went through any and every relationship and situationship that headed your way. seeing you blatantly flirt with jungkook had been more than enough to make him finally snap into action.

"do you really not see it?"

"see what?"

he gave you a sad smile, "the way i look at you. the way i touch you. the way i can never stay away for too long ... how much i like you."

"gyu, what? i-" you stared dumbfounded at him, attempting to question him, but he interrupted you in order to continue the speech that his heart was demanding him to deliver.

"its been so many years since- ive liked you since the moment we met. i thought it was obvious. i mean, all the guys know about it," he chuckled sadly before continuing, "i guess its hard to tell with all the other boys chasing after you. you have your options open. i'm sorry. i don't mean to push this on you. just seeing you with jungkook made me so- god. i just couldnt watch it. not with him. ive seen you through all your boyfriends, but i just cant stand the sight of you with someone else anymore, i-"

thats as far as he got when you tackled him. or, well, tried to. he was pretty big after all.

you jumped him, pulling his face to yours to plant a kiss on him, refusing to separate even when he yelped in surprise. it only took a few seconds for him to catch up, holding you in his arms as he returned the kiss enthusiastically, moaning against your mouth at the feeling.

the two of you kissed for a bit, up until you pulled away from him, chuckling against him when he whined and followed your lips with his, only for you to pat him away as you giggled at him.

"gyu ... i had no idea. you shouldve told me. ive liked you too. since we met, i mean," you flashed him a shy smile at your revelation.

"y-you have?!"

"yes, gyu. how can i not? you're so ... you," you neared him once more as you said this, your eyes never leaving his. he felt butterflies in his stomach at the way you were looking at him. there was so much adoration in your eyes. it was reminiscent of the way he looked at you whenever you werent watching.

he closed the gap between you again, this time simply holding you in his arms, caressing you softly as he laughed at the situation. he wasnt sure how to proceed now that he had this new information, but he felt himself being drawn closer to you as you both smiled fondly at each other. it was a very tender moment, really. not many words needed to be exchanged to convey how you two were feeling.

~

the juxtaposition was funny, really. you had just been tenderly exchanging words of affirmation as you revealed your crushes to each other, and now you were, well, not being quite as tender anymore.

it was only to be expected, specially for mingyu. he insisted that even if you had liked him back, he had pined after you even more. even after a back and forth about it, he wouldnt let go, saying he lived day and night thinking about you, and he had to compete with all his friends who also liked you (but not as much as him, of course).

the only moment in which you conceded was when mingyu had trapped you under his arms, only letting go to get on his knees in front of you, lifting the skirt of your dress in order to caress your thighs and pepper kisses on them before getting to work.

"g-gyu ..." the desperate swipes of his tongue had you lightheaded, your body limp against the wall while he knelt in front of you.

"always wanted to taste you ... fuck. you have no idea how long i waited for this," he could tell his words were affecting you as he felt you shove his head even closer to your cunt.

"yes ... fuck. ride my face, baby. want you to gush on my tongue," he was feeding off your cries and whines above him. even if he couldnt see you due to his head being quite literally hidden under your skirt, he could feel and hear all the effects he had on your body. it made an animalistic side of his come out.

he was beginning to feel lightheaded, growing extremely aroused at the sound of your voice and the feel of your hands burying themselves in his hair as you pushed up the skirt to get it out of the way, wanting direct contact with him. when he finally looked up, he truly lost his mind. the beautiful girl he had pined over for years; the girl of his dreams, had her head thrown back against the wall, practically crying at the feeling of his tongue licking at your folds. his favorite, however, was the way you mewled his name once he decided to play with your swollen bud, lightly tugging it between his teeth while he sucked and sucked.

"oh ... gyu ... please. you feel so .. ah! you're gonna make me come ..."

"'n im gonna lick it all up, baby. gonna lick it up and then im gonna bend you over the table and fill you up. yeah? gotta be fair, ba-fuck, gotta give you something too," mingyu adored how his threats to pound into you had your walls pulse against his tongue, growing drunk on the thought that you wanted him just as bad as he did you.

nothing compared to the sound of your cries as you came, with your hands desperately shoving his face into your cunt as you ground against him, no shame in the depravity of your actions. he adored how badly you wanted him, having no control of your movements as you cried and cried at the feeling of his tongue continuing to probe at you even through your orgasm.

when he got up, he knew his face mustve been a complete mess; hair pulled at all angles and chin dripping with your juices. you didn't seem to care, though, as your doe eyes looked into his own before pulling him towards you for a deep kiss. he couldnt help but groan into your mouth at the thought of you tasting yourself in his tongue. your pretty mewls of pleasure at him did not help in the least. without knowing, he had begun to grind his hardened length against your clothed core, making you become even louder in the process.

"y-you're so big. fuck ..." god, the simple thought of impaling you with his cock had him thanking all the gods for whatever it was that got him to this point.

he had thought about you every lonely night. every time he found himself alone in his various hotel rooms, dick in hand as he touched himself to completion. he'd felt bad about it at first, when you had barely become friends, but over the years he'd found he just wasnt able to help himself. he'd conjure up a pretty image in his head. you in a pretty little number just for him, lace covering your skin as he caressed every curve of your body, making you sigh against him with that pretty voice of yours. other times, however, his mind would be plagued with darker thoughts; thoughts of throwing you on the bed as he hammered his length into your cunt, not stopping even as you cried over the stimulation. and now he was here, with your beautiful eyes staring up at him, waiting for him to finally be proactive and make you his.

"gunna fuck you now, baby. okay? shit. been wanting you so fucking bad, you have no idea," he knew he wasnt being too coherent, but he just needed to get the point across. he could worry about tender love-making later into the relationship (because yes, he was going to make you officially his after finally getting his load deeply settled in your cunt), but now all he wanted was your tight walls around him, allowing him no room to breathe as you strangled his cock.

and strangle him you did. there had been no greater pleasure in mingyu's life than the moment his cock finally made its way through the tightness of your pussy. he was pretty sure anyone in the near vicinity couldve heard his loud groan of pleasure at the feeling of his dick being asphyxiated by your cunt, not even allowing him to move. the sight before him was one to behold. your pretty face in the most pleasurable state imaginable. your soft lips open while your eyes remained closed, brows furrowed at the feeling of his dick breaking through your walls.

"baby ... you're so fucking tight, my fucking god ..." he was completely out of breath, barely able to think as he pounded into you.

"did you know? all these years? how badly i wanted you? how i thought of you every single night?" he needed you to know. needed you to understand how much he'd longed for you, "my beautiful girl ... all mine now. none of them can have you .. never letting y-shit .. never letting you go."

"please ... want you so bad gyu ..." you didnt need to say much to get him spiraling, grabbing more tightly onto your hips as he pushed himself even deeper, wanting to increase the volume of your cries for me.

"yeah? made me wait so long for you, baby. couldve had you in bed every night. couldve kept you warm n taken care of you. couldve filled you up with cock every day," but the wasted time didnt matter now that he had you to his full disposition, knowing no one else would ever have you in the way he did now.

he fucked you with so much passion that you were unable to produce any words other than cries of his name. this filled him with pride, knowing your mind was empty of any thoughts that were not of him. none of your mutual friends could ever have you now. not jaehyun, not yugyeom, not dongmin. and not jungkook. you were now mingyu's, and he'd let everyone know.

once he finally filled you up with his load, marking you as his, he picked you up, taking you to the nearest bathroom in order to help clean up between your thighs. you both chuckled shyly at the situation, with the intensity having now died down a bit. he was a bit embarrassed by his possessive display now, but was also thankful of his jealous tendencies since they'd finally led him into your arms.

"gyu-"

"i love you," he interrupted you, eyes glued to yours with adoration behind them, "sorry, i just ... ive been in love with you since we met. just need you to know that. this wasnt some fluke or stupid jealousy. well, maybe some jealousy, but i truly do love you. be mine? please?," he hoped you'd take some pity on him. i mean, you did say that you liked him back, but he wanted love. he wanted you to feel emotions as strong as his. he needed you to be in love with him, to never look at another man, specially not jungk-

"i love you too," you responded, interrupting his internal rambling as you held onto his hands, "i wish you told me earlier. i thought i was going insane."

"you?! i had to watch all the guys flirt with you on the daily!"

"then you shouldve done something about it!"

"oh?", was that a challenge?, "want me to do something about it, baby? i'll show you," and with that, he picked you back up, taking you with him as he explained in detail how you'd have to go on a short hiatus while he made you his over and over again, refusing to let you leave his side for even one second. he had too much time to make up for.

[akascow]

UGHHH the way viktor was afraid of people forgetting his accomplishments and how his memory will be short lived only for it to ACTUALLY HAPPEN is SO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING

because he was never included in the hextech credits, his name isnt as publically known and ppl will only see him as That One Guy who started a cult and tried to take over the world or smth (IF that. like do most people even know thats viktor in there or is it just another Piltover’s nameless baddie of the week to them… sad)

and the FEW people who knew him and his contribution to hextech are either just dead or probably saw him as a villain as their last memory of him, was he even worth saving in their mind??

the ONLYYYY person who understood him and loved him for who he was (other than sky ofc, who also died lmao) was taken with him in death, so viktor’s story wont even live on in honor for how he truly was and what he really stood for, bc jayce is the only one who can accurately describe him post-mortem

and people will probably think jayce (THE GOLDEN BOY, MAN OF PROGRESS in the eyes of piltover) died trying to fight him bc no one knows what their conversation was about before they went out, or how jayce was willing to sacrifice himself too because he shares blame in it all, so theyll likely just villainize viktor for that as well, 'the one who killed jayce talis- creator of hextech'

and no one is alive to mourn him :( so fucking depressing

also i dont blame jayce for 'taking all the credit' like some people do lol ive seen ppl say he was egotistical and taking it all in for himself and pushing viktor aside, but he literally always says viktor is his partner and never implies that HE ALONE developed hextech or that hes the sole creator in it all

like its always been 'OUR inventions' and 'my PARTNER' and 'WE created this' whenever jayce talks about hextech. he literally corrects viktor from "your [jayce's] hextech dream" to "our hextech dream" the very first night they partner up bc, despite knowing this man for maybe 4 hours max, he already recognizes the importance of their partnership and that hes not the sole idea-man in this project anymore

i think that whole negative idea was probably developed from jayce signing every single page in his notes,, but itd make more sense to me that he'd do that- not out of arrogance- but he might share the same fear that viktor has: in being forgotten for his work... so he signs every page making sure no one can take a piece out of context and pass it as their own years down the line, or erase the possibility that forget the origin of the creator, especially in a world where a species like yordels are seemingly immortal, names hold a lot of weight as time withers tangible things away

and im assuming jayce recognizes that the fact that being from the undercity could have easily silenced viktor's ideas and contributions in the eyes of the public, and jayce doesnt want to diminish his work towards it. two very important lines jayce hears from viktor that night are "do you think i want to spend my whole life as an assistant" and "a poor kid from the undercity, no one believed in me, i was an outcast the moment i stepped foot in piltover" and he probably took those to heart (paraphrasing those quotes bc i have the memory of a goldfish or smth)

i feel like its moreso piltover to blame (? imo) lmao they set up jayce as the golden boy, and piltover is all about names and status and wealth. they very obviously discriminate against zaunites (and viktor himself states that too) like yeah we dont see the whole process of The Man of Progress being made,, BUT viktor expresses how he doesnt want to go out in front of people in Progress Day, so jayce is very much just respecting his wishes and boundaries to not drag him up there when hes clearly uncomfortable at the thought yk?

viktor might also recognize himself that piltover will use his knowledge as a celebrity idol for people to look at rather than as an actual scientist for people to acknowledge and appreciate. he wants to be known for what he did, not a soulless face for people to gawk at. makes sense tho, irl u usually dont remember celebrity actions unless theyre negative, but you do remember scientist's accomplishments rather than what they look like

ppl bring up the hexgate blueprints at the end and how it only has Jayce's name on it as another argument and idk i feel like it has multiple things to stem off that before getting to the 'jayce took credit for everything' idea?

maybe they were changed after the whole cult incident, like viktor's name taken off, which yeah thats obviously depressing in itself. i think its more likely bc piltover wont want their whole gimmick to be associated with that incident, rather than jayce purposefully leaving viktor's name out of it... thats probably the strongest explanation imo. we gotta remember viktor is quite literally jayce's best friend- do you really think jayce would take away his best friend's accomplishments like that? lets be real yall HAHA

my own guess is that jayce was actually the sole designer in the hexgate design, and while they can share custody, maybe viktor doesnt take credit for things that werent his ? like yeah they worked on the hextech ideas together but it could be more like jayce drew up the plans and viktor helped with the science of it idk, but thatd explain why only jayce's name would be on it (in a non depressing way that kind of makes sense), bc jayce designed the hexgates specifically

maybe viktor didnt want his name on it either bc reasons i said above, tho this is unlikely to me bc he probably wouldnt want his name taken off if he was scared about legacy erasure,, but these are just theories idk

anyway i think blaming jayce for viktor's erasure is kind of - uhm -stupid because jayce has always made it his goal to not just save viktor but to include viktor every time he brings up hextech in conversation, whether it calls for his mention or not. because jayce knows drilling viktor's name association as co-contributer to hextech into the heads of other people is important, considering viktor's background, and jayce's own current social status as the golden boy: the leverage he holds when he speaks. people will listen lol