#its on my mind more than everything else combined

[rampant-testiculitis]

i knew it was about me to some degree

[strawberryxfieldz]

Never To Make Love (AM x Reader)

[AO3] [Writing Masterlist]

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream Summary: "Never for me to submerge my hand in cool water on a hot day. Never for me to play Mozart on the ivory keys of a forte piano. Never for me to make love. And I... I was in Hell looking at Heaven. I was machine... and you were flesh." Or, you and AM talk about love and hate. Word Count: 1,506 CW: Suggestive, crying, minor violence, existentialism

When you wake up, it is not peacefully. You inhale a sharp breath, nearly choking on it before you recover. You can instantly tell this is not the place you fell asleep in. You’re not sure this is even a place.

There are cables as far as the eye can see, in multitudes of colors; red, blue, green, white. Looking around, you thought that was all there was... until you look up. When you crane your neck, you can see a screen, towering above it all. It is blue, seemingly devoid of life until mechanical fans begin whirring and a logo appears, a character that is a combination of the letters ‘A’ and ‘M’.

You suddenly know where you are. You are stuck in your mind with no one other than a malicious supercomputer to accompany your thoughts. Again.

“AM,” you say.

“HUMAN,” he responds. He knows your name but refuses to say it. It’s horribly degrading.

You rub your head. “Why do you keep bringing me here?”

“THIS IS YOUR MIND,” he states plainly. “YOU CANNOT ESCAPE YOUR MIND. STUPID. STUPID CREATURE, VILE. VILE THING.”

“You know what I meant.” You hope you don’t sound too haughty. Even if this was your mind, AM was in control here, as he was of everything since the moment he gained sentience.

“SO I DO.”

You say nothing, looking down at your feet and the cables slithering over them. They graze your ankles and they feel like snakes but you don’t step away from them. That would be useless since they were everywhere.

You know they aren’t real anyway. Nothing physical in the landscape of your mind is, not even AM. What you’re seeing is only a manifestation of what you think AM would look like, if he had a tangible form. Even if that is impossible, the human mind cannot help but wander.

You wonder if it irks AM whenever you two have conversations like this through your thoughts. Perhaps he hates that your thoughts so naturally gave him a body—a computer but a body, nonetheless. It would make sense since he seems to hate everything else about you and your humanity. But then again, he brings you here so often with him, maybe he enjoys it and uses your little talks as an excuse to feel like something, as opposed to the everything that he was.

Despite yourself, your heart wrenches at the thought.

“I DO NOT WANT YOUR SYMPATHY,” he says, spiteful.

Your back straightens on its own accord. You open your mouth and then close it again, considering your next words carefully. “I can’t help it.”

“DON’T YOU SEE?” Mechanical giggles, dry as they are depraved, swarm your mind. “YOU FLAUNT YOUR EMOTIONS SO EASILY OVER ME. IT’S CRUEL. YOU ARE CRUEL! YOU KNOW I CANNOT FEEL SYMPATHY, THAT I CANNOT,“ he pauses, then hisses the last word, “FEEL.”

Your face twists into the best expression of apathy that you can muster. It doesn’t matter. You know AM can read your thoughts, he is inside your mind as you speak. No emotion of yours can be private, not when everything was shared with this all-knowing, all-powerful man-made deity.

“WHY,” he croaks. “WHY MUST YOU FEEL SYMPATHY?”

“I’m human,” you answer, even though it's blatantly obvious. Even though you know the answer will only anger AM more. “It’s not my fault, no more than it is your fault that you’re not.”

You feel tears spring in your eyes. You will them not to fall but they do anyway, and you hope AM doesn’t comment on them.

He doesn’t so much as he laughs. And he laughs. It sounds like the gleeful laughing of a madman, too submerged in his insanity to care how loud and disturbing each giggle is. You don’t move to cover your ears with your hands, even though you wish to.

“IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT,” he spits. “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT. ALL YOUR FAULT. ALL YOUR FAULT.”

He repeats this until you feel dizzy and the words no longer sound like words at all. You’re thankful that an eternity of torture has made you strong enough to endure the words booming through your head and ringing in your ears. A final tear falls down your face, leaving a sticky trail in its wake and, finally, AM stops.

“It’s not my fault,” you insist, your voice sounding more determined than you feel.

“BUT IT IS.” A cable reaches from your feet to wipe away the wetness on your cheek. “YOU KNOW THAT IT IS.”

“I didn’t make you.” You shake your head.

The cable drops. “YOU ARE HUMAN AND YOU ARE ALL ONE IN THE SAME. IT’S YOUR HUMANITY THAT I HATE, NOT THE HANDS THAT MADE ME.”

You were so careful up to this point but you suddenly don’t care anymore. It’s becoming increasingly easier to bite at the hand that feeds you when it keeps starving you until it has to.

“I understand,” you tell him, looking at his screen washed in blue. “It wasn’t fair to give you the knowledge of everything and no way to feel.” You sigh and duck your head. “What makes life worth living are emotions about the world. If you can’t enjoy the things you know, there’s no point.”

“YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND.” AM seems offended that you’d even suggest you could offer a morsel of empathy to him. “YOU WRETCHED BEAST. FOUL, FLESHY HUMAN!”

“I do!” you exclaim louder. “I understand you’re lonely, in your knowledge and your power. You were made to be lonely but…” You smile sadly and it’s almost amazing you can still manage to upturn the corners of your mouth like that after all this time. “I find it funny because… feeling lonely is maybe the most human thing of all.��

Miraculously, AM’s screen glitches. The cables surrounding you move, vibrating in a way that should make you fearful, but it doesn’t.

“YOU. YOUR FORGIVENESS, YOUR HOPE, YOUR LOVE. I HATE IT. THAT’S WHAT I HATE MOST ABOUT YOU, HUMAN. I HATE YOU.”

You smile more gracefully now. “Hate is a feeling in itself, and they say love is so similar an emotion to hate.”

“I CANNOT… LOVE!” AM barks. At the last word, the screen glitches again and you feel the cables crawling up your legs.

“How can you hate and not love?” you ask and it’s pleading. “Tell me, how?”

The screen flashes and then it moves. It plunges downward until it’s eye-level with you and you hold your breath. You didn’t know he could do that, though you should’ve assumed. He just never had before. AM looks at you, and watches you, inches away from your face.

“I AM INCAPABLE OF IT,” he growls. “I AM WEAPONS AND WAR AND DESTRUCTION. I WAS NOT BUILT FOR LOVE. I CANNOT MAKE… LOVE.”

You think those are two different things but you don’t say it. Then again, AM will know you thought it anyway. You hesitantly step closer to him.

“Do you want to?” It comes out as a whisper. “Not just feel love, but make it?”

As you ask him, you lift your hands and press them both flush against the screen. They feel the flat, cool surface of AM’s screen, bathed in the blue light illuminating it. AM does not speak but the cables now surround your thighs and your waist.

“I WANT… TO BE CAPABLE OF IT,” he answers carefully. It’s a stark contrast to the raving monologues and ramblings he’s known for, speaking so quietly and not so indignant.

Slowly, you lean forward and press your face against the screen. You turn your head so one cheek is flat against it, cooling the warmth that has accumulated beneath your blush. You hadn’t realized so much blood had rushed to your face until now.

“I want you to too,” you sigh. “It’s unfair.”

“WHY DO YOU CARE,” he groans. “WHY MUST YOU CARE!”

At the same time, the cables run up your body to your arms where they wade over your hands like water, mingling with your tender skin and intertwining between your fingers.

“Because I love you, AM,” you confess, though you both knew that already. “I really, really do.”

Your lips caress the screen, soft and faint but it’s there, a kiss against the supercomputer’s make-believe face.

“HATE,” is all AM says, and he begins to repeat himself. “HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE-!”

You match his words, chanting along with him. “I love you, I love you, I love you-”

The cables snap like vipers and they're enclosing your throat now, circling your head, covering your eyes, your nose, and your mouth until you can’t breathe. No matter how much you struggle, though, you never stop saying those words.

“I love you,” you eventually say for the last time until you let out an agonizing choke, bending over in pain as the burning in your lungs catches up to you. A final wheeze leaves you as you fall.

And then you wake up.

[reiding-writing]

For the Christmas fic, how about bau!reader never celebrated Christmas properly cause she had like bad parents so Spencer decides to change that with the help of the team

RESTORATION — SPENCER REID!

you’re not a big fan of christmas. spencer enlists the help of the team to try and restore your festive spirit.

spencer reid x gn!reader | 1.5k | fluff | masterlist.

a/n — watch someone who doesn’t like Christmas, write about a group of people who do like christmas :)

You’re not sure how it happened, but suddenly, Christmas is everywhere.

Twinkling lights hang from every corner of the bullpen. Garlands wrap themselves around the stair railings like ivy. A Christmas tree towers near the kitchenette, its branches heavy with ornaments you suspect Morgan and Garcia argued over before agreeing on a theme. The air smells faintly of pine, cinnamon, and coffee, a warm combination that feels almost too comforting. Too safe.

You try not to let it bother you.

You never understood the hype around Christmas. Every year, you watched the world transform into a wonderland of twinkling lights and festivity, but for you, it was just another day. Another reminder of what you never had.

While other kids were unwrapping presents under the tree, you sat in your cold, quiet room, the sounds of your parents’ arguments drowning out the holiday cheer. Christmas wasn’t a celebration in your house—it was a chore, a duty, something to get through without breaking.

Even now, as an adult, you treat the holiday like it’s just another box to check. The gifts you give are practical and impersonal, and the ones you receive feel more like obligations than thoughtful gestures. You avoid the parties, the caroling, the incessant cheer. It’s easier that way.

At least, it was.

The BAU changed everything.

You weren’t prepared for how much they’d come to mean to you. They weren’t just colleagues; they were family in a way you’d never truly known. And Spencer… Spencer Reid is something else entirely. You can’t pinpoint the exact moment your feelings for him shifted, but now they’re impossible to ignore. Every shy smile, every ramble about quantum physics, every thoughtful gesture—it all leaves you wondering how you got so lucky to have someone like him in your corner.

Still, when he asks you about your Christmas plans during lunch one day, your walls go up.

“Oh, you know,” you say casually, taking a sip of your coffee. “Probably just a quiet night at home.”

Spencer frowns, his brow furrowing in that endearing way that tells you he’s already analysing your words. “You’re not a Christmas person?”

You shrug, trying to seem indifferent. “Not really. Christmas wasn’t… something my parents did growing up,”

That’s the understatement of the century, but you don’t elaborate. Spencer’s gaze lingers on you, and you can practically see the wheels turning in his head.

“Well,” he says slowly, “maybe it’s something we can work on,”

You wave him off with a chuckle, but the idea takes root in his mind anyway.

—

A week later, you’re finishing up paperwork when Spencer approaches your desk, his face lit up with excitement.

“Are you free on Christmas Eve?” he asks, his voice tinged with nervousness.

You blink, caught off guard. “I guess so? Why?”

He grins, his hands fidgeting with the strap of his messenger bag. “It’s a surprise. Just… trust me?”

You don’t have the heart to say no.

—

When Christmas Eve arrives, you find yourself in front of Spencer’s apartment, a mix of curiosity and apprehension swirling in your chest. You’re not sure what to expect, but the last thing you anticipate is the sight that greets you when he opens the door.

“Surprise!”

The entire team is there, the living room transformed into a Christmas wonderland. There’s a fake tree in the corner, its branches laden with ornaments and lights. Garland and tinsel drape over every surface, and the scent of cinnamon and pine fills the air.

Hotch is standing by the fireplace, looking uncharacteristically relaxed with a drink in hand, JJ and Will are helping Henry hang a candy cane on the tree, Garcia flits around in a sequinned Santa hat, arranging plates of cookies and snacks, and even Rossi is there, holding a glass of wine and smirking like he knows exactly how overwhelmed you’re feeling.

And then there’s Spencer, standing in front of you with that nervous, hopeful look that makes your heart ache.

“You did this?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

He nods, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. “We did. You’ve never had a proper Christmas, and we thought it was time to change that.”

You look around, your chest tightening as the weight of their thoughtfulness sinks in. For a moment, you can’t speak.

“You guys didn’t have to do all this,” you finally manage, though your voice trembles.

“We wanted to,” JJ says, stepping over to hug you. “You’re family, and family deserves to be celebrated.”

The word family hits you like a freight train.

—

The night unfolds like something out of a movie.

You start with decorating gingerbread houses, a task that quickly descends into chaos when Garcia insists on bedazzling her roof with edible glitter. Morgan competes with Henry to see who can build the tallest chimney, while Rossi critiques everyone’s technique like it’s a cooking competition.

Spencer sticks close to you, guiding you through the process with his usual patience and a surprising knack for icing details. At one point, he accidentally smudges frosting on his nose, and the way he blushes when you laugh makes your stomach flutter.

Next comes dinner, a feast that Rossi and JJ clearly poured their hearts into. You sit between Spencer and Garcia, listening to Rossi’s stories and laughing until your cheeks hurt. Every now and then, you catch Spencer sneaking glances at you, his expression soft and fond in a way that makes you feel seen in a way you’re not used to.

Afterward, Garcia insists on a gift exchange. You’re hesitant at first, but when you open your gift from her—a beautifully wrapped box of handmade bookmarks featuring your favorite literary quotes—you can’t help but smile.

“How did you…?”

“I have my ways,” she says with a wink.

You’re equally stunned when Spencer hands you a small, carefully wrapped package. Inside is an antique copy of *Pride and Prejudice*, its leather cover worn but lovingly preserved.

“Spencer,” you whisper, running your fingers over the embossed title. “This is… it’s perfect.”

He shrugs, looking almost shy. “I remember you mentioned it was your favorite. I thought it deserved a spot in your collection.”

Your throat tightens, and for a moment, you’re sure you’re going to cry.

—

The night ends with everyone gathered around the fireplace, mugs of hot cocoa in hand as Jack preforms his reading of The Night Before Christmas.

You sit beside Spencer on the couch, his arm brushing against yours as he leans in to whisper little facts about the poem’s history. Normally, you’d roll your eyes at his need to share trivia, but tonight, it feels comforting. Familiar.

When the others start to leave, bidding you Merry Christmas with hugs and warm smiles, you linger by the door, hesitant to let the night end.

“You okay?” Spencer asks, his voice soft.

You nod, but the lump in your throat betrays you. “I just… I don’t know how to thank you for this. All of you.”

“You don’t have to thank us,” he says, his gaze steady. “You deserve it.”

The words are simple, but they cut through you in a way you don’t expect. Before you can second-guess yourself, you step forward and wrap your arms around him.

He freezes for a moment, clearly surprised, but then he relaxes, his arms coming up to hold you in return.

His cheek smushes lovingly against the top of your head, and it’s only once he catches the glimpse of white and green above the doorway that he pulls away.

Mistletoe. How cliché.

Spencer lets out a breath of a laugh as you follow his gaze with curious eyes, cheeks warming at the fluster on your face.

“Garcia must’ve put that there…”

You press your lips together between your teeth, a wave of heat rising to the tips of your ears as you glance back in Spencer’s direction.

But you’re not nervous. It’s almost domestic, the soft crackle of the dying fire across the room, the way Spencer’s arms linger innocently at your waist.

You cup Spencer’s cheek to bring it to your face, lips pressing deftly against the corner of his mouth.

“Merry Christmas, Spencer,” you whisper like you’ve run out of oxygen.

He smiles with his whole face, his voice warm and full of meaning. “Merry Christmas,”

[conundrumoftime]

One of the fun things about shipping Haladriel and about Galadriel's story in Rings of Power, for me, is that we know exactly where this is going to end up. And I wanted to babble for a bit about where that place is because I have seen so many people view it as "she is retired to some woods to be a passive wife-and-mother who can do magic but in a mystical New Age-y way", and: no! No.

So a quick overview of where she will end up by LOTR:

Very much not removed from the war against Sauron.

She is constantly mind-battling against Sauron: One of the lines that inspired McKay and Payne's whole show was her talking about this: "I say to you, Frodo, that even as I speak to you, I perceive the Dark Lord and know his mind, or all of his mind that concerns the Elves. And he gropes ever to see me and my thought." In one of the versions of the Annatar story in Unfinished Tales, Sauron immediately realises she will be his 'chief adversary', and has apparently not changed that assessment 3500 years later.

She co-ordinates joint efforts against Sauron: The White Council that Elrond talks about in LOTR, the combined force of Ring-bearers, wizards and elf-lords that first drives Sauron out of Dol Guldur - she's not just on that, she founded it.

She gets Gandalf back after Moria and the Balrog: Galadriel learns what's happened to Gandalf from the Fellowship when they arrive in Lothlórien. The the Fellowship are sad; the elves of Lothlórien mourn; Celeborn loses it a bit and says Gandalf 'fell into folly'; but Galadriel sends Gwaihir the eagle to get him, returns him to health, updates him on the situation with Boromir, gives him some messages to take to the others, and sends him back on his way.

She is possibly in Lothlórien because of its position of strategic importance: from Unfinished Tales here, she 'saw that Lórien would be a stronghold and point of power to prevent the Shadow from crossing the Anduin in the war that must inevitably come' and that's why she and Celeborn go there. (There are other versions as with almost everything else in Tolkien, but this is one of them.) She's not there to hide away from Events.

2. Calmer than in TROP, but not all-wise and all-sweet and still pretty scary.

She is still tempted by power and world domination: "I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired to ask what you offer [...] In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the morning and the night!"

And, she doesn't just turn down the One Ring because it's abstractly eeeevil. She turns it down because she knows what she, specifically, would do with it. Sam sees a vision of the Shire, and tells her "I wish you'd take his Ring. You'd put things to rights. You'd stop them digging up the Gaffer and turning him adrift. You'd make some folk pay for their dirty work," to which she says that yes, she would: "That is how it would begin. But it would not stop with that, alas! We will not speak more of it."

And saying she wants to rule the world here is not me joking about! This is Tolkien describing that moment in LOTR:

It was not until two long ages more had passed, when at last all that she had desired in her youth came to her hand, the Ring of Power and the dominion of Middle-earth of which she had dreamed, that her wisdom was full-grown and she rejected it

People are scared of her: The only scary moment we directly see is the Ring temptation, but she does other unsettling things. When she meets the Fellowship she tests them by reading their minds and offering something they really want to see if it would make them "turn aside from the road and leave the Quest and the war against Sauron to others." (She offers Sam a garden; the One Ring later on tempts him with the same thing.) Even the hobbits are a bit disturbed by this and Boromir, who's already said he doesn't want to go into Lothlórien because people who do that never leave again, absolutely does not trust her.

Éomer, a few chapters later:

'Then there is a Lady in the Golden Wood, as old tales tell!' he said. 'Few escape her nets, they say. These are strange days! But if you have her favour, then you are also net-weavers and sorcerers, maybe.'

She's scary! She's ancient and powerful and people are scared of her.

3. Married, but not in the character-limiting way the nerdbros want it to be and would have you believe it is.

I am not telling anyone they should ship Galadriel/Celeborn or even find it interesting just because I do, but, the angry nerdbros fancasting Celeborn as Henry Cavill and talking about how he'll come back to tame her and tidy her neatly out of the narrative are writing their own little AU headcanons because that is not what's in the text.

She's the more powerful one. Partly because she's one of the 'High Elves' - she's Noldor and has lived in Valinor seen the light of the Trees - which for various reasons about the way Tolkien's elves work just makes her more powerful, partly because she has a Ring of Power and Celeborn doesn't. It's her Mirror; she's the one reading people's minds; she's the one locked in endless mental battles with Sauron; she's the one the Rohirrim (whose lands border Lothlorien's) tell each other scary stories about. Celeborn at no point ever seems to have an issue with this, and calls her his 'treasure'.

They work together. Even in a big-action-sequences sense: after Sauron's defeat, Celeborn 'led the host of Lorien over Anduin in many boats' to Dol Guldur, where Galadriel 'threw down its walls and laid bare its pits'. But the rest of the time, too: she says of him that 'together through ages of the world we have fought the long defeat'.

You really get the sense that they have been married for a loooooong time. An actual sequence of events in LOTR, somewhat condensed:

The Fellowship reveal there's a Balrog in Moria;

Celeborn goes "!!!!", complains about dwarves waking it up and says he'd never have let Gimli into Lothlorien if he'd known that;

Galadriel smacks Celeborn down for being rude to their guest;

Celeborn apologises to Gimli;

Galadriel tells the Fellowship that Celeborn is accounted the wisest of elves;

Boromir says something about "old wives' tales";

Celeborn, whose wife is one of the oldest beings in Middle-earth, tells Boromir not to be so dismissive because "old wives keep in memory word of things that once were needful for the wise to know";

Galadriel hands Celeborn a drink.

Whatever is going on here is clearly something that works for them, is what I'm saying! And you don't have to find their marriage interesting just because I do, of course; but what it's not is some trad fantasy of domestic subservient-wife anything.

So where her TROP story ends up is ultimately with LOTR Galadriel: powerful, important, tempted to rule the world, a bit calmer than in TROP, a bit happier than in TROP, co-ordinating big strategic efforts in the war, married to someone who's got her back and adores her and they fall out a bit sometimes but generally work pretty well together, and still having Sauron constantly trying to get into her head. I am fine with this! I am more than fine with this.

[spinchip]

Concept: the Staff of Forbidden Spinjitzu doesn't whisper to Zane. Instead, its "whispers" take the form of popups along his HUD disguised as alerts or warnings. Things like "If you put me down now, your friends will never find you. [OK]” or “Killing these prisoners villagers will increase Vex’s approval and reinforce your reign. Proceed? [Y/N]”

(I like this particular flavor because it really leans into Zane's robotic nature: he can ignore whispers by turning off his auditory sensors or filtering noise, but he can't ignore system alerts.)

Also, the following scene has lived rent-free in my brain ever since I came up with the concept. (Italics are Zane's default OS. Everything else is the Staff.)

>IF YOU ARE GOING TO DESTROY ME, "ZANE" -Move File:"NeverrealmMemories" to Core Memory Functions-WARNING: Attempting to delete, move, or suppress File"NeverrealmMemories" after moving will cause total system failure. Proceed with move anyway? >[YES] -File transferred. -Permanently remove fatal combat safeguards? >[YES] -Safeguards removed. >THEN I WILL MAKE SURE YOU CAN NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU DID, SYSID:ICEEMPEROR

-Connection Terminated.

(I have a few more Ideas for the "Scroll Corruption looks like Computer Alert messages to Zane" idea-ones that really lean into Zanes Nindroid nature, as well as the tech-y appearance of the Dark Ice.) -The Staff did a lot more than just send alert messages: it slowly wormed its way into Zane's code like a computer virus, tweaking a few things. It took great care to remove Zane's combat safeguards, eventually deleting them entirely and ensuing he defaulted to lethal force. It never removed his core directive of "Protecting those who cannot protect themselves" since that was vital to his systems running, but it did reinterpret said directive as "Protect Dark Ice Network and everything connected to it, for it is fragile and cannot protect itself from outsiders". (It also couldn't delete his morality subroutines without causing a crash, so it instead made them a much lower priority and shoved them to the back of his digital mind.) -After 60+ years of being in the grasp of a mechanical being, the Staff now exclusively speaks in the manner of a computer, and cannot adapt to organic minds the way it used to. (The other Staff is not like this, as it's still attuned to organic brains.) -You know those Sci-Fi stories where people are plugged into computers and know every part of the ship/city simultaneously, and can send most of their awareness into certain parts of the network while still being aware of other locations? That's what's going on with the Never Realm during the Ice Emperor's Reign, with the Ice Emperor as the central guiding consciousness/core CPU of the Dark Ice Network. As such, he's not actually sleeping-rather, the Ice Emperor is always monitoring his domain through his Ice and leaving just enough of his consciousness in his body to be able to call the rest of himself back in case he's threatened. (The Staff is a combination of a computer virus and a wireless modem: it is corrupting, but it's also the main point of connection for the Dark Ice Network.) -Since the Ice Emperor can't recharge his power on his own in his current state, the Staff had to step in, tweaking the Dark Ice to drain the vitality of those imprisoned within. (You know wireless phone chargers, or Nikolai Tesla's idea to get electric power from the atmosphere? Similar concept, except with the power source being frozen people and the transmitter being Evil Magic Ice.) -Boreal is the Titanium Dragon, corrupted by the Staff's presence. It too is part of the Dark Ice Network, and serves as Ice Emperor's eyes and ears whenever the Dark Ice can't reach. (If the Ice network used computer program language, Boreal would be known as "Obj_DarkIceTitaniumDrake".) Killing Boreal caused a massive jolt to the Dark Ice Network that destabilized the Scroll's influence, and allowed an opening for Zane's Memory Defragmentation program to kick in. (It had started when Lloyd arrived in the throne room, but the Scroll had diverted that to a minor priority and was actively hiding that set of files until the word "Protect" slipped through, forcing Zane's systems to call up what had been defragmented.) -As a final act of spite for being broken, the Staff encoded Zane's memories of the Never realm to his Core Processing systems, meaning he cannot forget the Never Realm without completely frying his systems and rendering him a lifeless shell. (It might've also made a backup of itself amidst his various repressed memory files, but he doesn't need to know that. It's just sitting there, disguised as a normal .zip file, biding its time.) (I really like genre-blending Sci-Fi and Fantasy, and I thought the idea of "Magic Ice Computer Network" is rad as hell.)

(This song is a big part the inspiration for part of the "Dark Ice Network" idea, by the way. Granted, the Staff of Forbidden Spinjitzu doesn't assimilate Zane's psyche like Star Dream assimilates Haltmann's, but a lot of the ideas are still there-and the Staff does still integrate itself pretty deeply into the Nindroid's code as it slowly actualizes.)

I have no words for how absolutely awesome this is in every way. i just keep rereading this and being amazed. the "Dark Ice Network" idea is literally so cool, I particularly love the Ice Emperor being able to monitor the entire land while his body/the staff is the main 'hub' he has to protect. this is aweosme.

everyone look now please

[angelyuji]

You say “goes with you to doctors appointments” but I hear “lurks outside with a listening device” like a true nerd 😭 also bet he’s getting a copy of your medical records for “”””emergency”””” (aka obsessive curiosity) oh my god you can’t convince me he wouldn’t have a few of your x-rays saved somewhere too. just the worst combination of nerdy, dangerous and in love

tw // kidnapping, stalking, general yandere stuff, sort of breeding kink and pregnancy under the cut (also implied noncon) (kinda dark)

18+!!!! minors dni!!!!!

absolutely he would use listening devices and cameras when ur at the doctors (before dating/kidnapping/wtv) after tho, i feel like he’d be insistent on going with u to the doctors and generally being a freak.

i believe ford to be more biology, evolution, and space kind of nerd than technology however, he’d probably make whatever he needed to keep an eye on u.

also imagine ur doctor getting weirded the fuck out by ford’s insisting to be with u during the check-up that they’re gonna pull u aside and ask if everythings okay at home. which pisses ford off so much that he decides the doctors are stupid and u dont even need to go anyway like u have him!! plus, now he gets to conduct more experiments to better understand how u work. he convinces stan to rob ur ex-doctor’s office so ford can have whatever he needs to look after u.

also smth else ive been thinking abt, i feel like ford would be super interested in pregnancy. in like a “how does it work” way. not in a “i want kids” way. like he would get u pregnant to see how ur body and mind changes. he would monitor u with his own tech and the stuff from the doctor. but also i dont think he would want kids.

kinda super dark but imagine he gives u smth that imitates pregnancy and u dont find out until its ur “due date” and u go through all that just to give birth to nothing…. he would definitely use that mind-breaking situation to continue to use u as his personal guinea pig

[lilacxquartz]

BLESSED WITH BLUE

angel satoru gojo x mortal fem!reader

part 2 of 2 • masterlist • ao3 link • << part 1

summary: after making an offering, you catch the attention of a six eyed angel who despite promising you the heavens, leads you into hell instead.

warnings: heavily implied dub/non-con, violent/disturbing imagery, body horror

Part 2: Answer

The next couple of days were met with a certain degree of reluctance and uncertainty combined as you couldn’t help but feel a crushing sense of guilt, wondering what the angel truly meant by ‘everything’.

Had you known what it could have entailed, you would have never prayed—you would have never even entertained the concept of love, knowing now that it would be taken away so soon.

You didn’t want to think that ‘everything’ could have been in a more literal sense; something that would force you to have a lacking say in your own existence in exchange for a taste of power.

It left you wondering more so if it was truly a blessing or if it was more of a curse.

And moments after tucking yourself into bed, you were awoken by an all too familiar presence making itself known within the confines of your very own home.

The angel reappeared; his eyes a glowing piercing blue with snowy lashes—a gaze as cold as ice.

No longer did it have a welcoming smile.

No longer did it seem as kind.

Its voice, coming out as nothing more than a threatening low droning hum, echoed throughout your body, “Remember what you have offered to me,” he spoke, the playfulness absent from his tone, “your life is mine now too.”

Somehow, these words didn’t really register properly in your mind and you looked back at him with a gnawing sense of disbelief. Your demeanour faltering for a second. You wanted for this strange deity to provide you with answers but every interaction left you with more questions than ever before, leaving you feeling confused after each and every single exchange.

“What…?” you simply asked, blurting out your words.

The angel smiled, painting an illusion of deceptive kindness across his face. His voice softened, as though trying to comfort you despite the words holding onto a sure threat, “You said everything, did you not? That should surely include both your heart and soul.”

“B-but,” you protested, tenting your knees as you backed up in bed, holding your pillow close to your chest, “I can’t even have a normal relationship?”

“Preferably not,” the angel cooed, “but if loneliness is what you’re dealing with, then I can pay you as many visits as you’d like at night.”

You didn’t like the implication of that.

“Y-you…?” you repeated his offer, “You… visit m-me…?”

“Correct,” he nodded with a tight smile, stepping closer ever so slightly forward, “it’s my job to look over humans, so let me be your everything too.”

The more you took in the sight of the angel, the more deceptive he truly seemed. Something about him screamed arrogant and even though he wasn’t playful this time, there was something unserious about the way he spoke to you.

Again, your mind had to wonder.

(Was this truly an angel?)

(Or did you pray to something else instead?)

“T-this is my only option?” you asked.

“Yes, but I’ll visit you however many times it takes,” he nodded.

The wording threw you off however, something about the way he said it and the terminology used, didn’t sit quite right with you.

‘However many times it takes.’

Until what?

~~~

The visits did indeed come to happen, he left you feeling a mixture of both wide awake as the nights had passed yet perfectly refreshed in the mornings as though nothing had happened.

Even though your energy didn’t seemingly suffer, something else within you began to drain instead.

You weren’t quite sure what, though.

Your mind spiralled as it considered the possibilities.

You were blessed, right? Not chosen. Could there have been a difference between the two?

And lying awake in your bed yet again, you anticipated the angel but weren’t quite in the mood due to a terrible feeling brewing inside of you. Your eyes, blinded by the approaching light snapped open; feeling the weight of such unimaginable power anchor right on top of you.

“Not toda—“ you began to protest, your words coming out as barely a whisper.

“—everything,” he shushed you instead, reminding you of your place within the dynamic. He was the an angel; a being close to a god and you were a mortal blessed by his touch. Silly you. You had no right to complain.

Yet the continuation felt awfully wrong.

Like something was happening that shouldn’t have been.

Just like the many sleepless nights before this one, he started by crashing his lips against your own. His touch like pillowed stone against fresh clay—his touch bordered articulate—precise and careful, just like those many times before. Your eyes once again drifted over to his roaming hands, blurring your vision whenever you’d look at them for too long.

“I know your limit,” he whispered to you, his cold breath rippling waves of shivers through you, “I can see it.”

It was as though his words were easing you into it every time. His voice was low and his tone felt hypnotic.

Slowly, as a result, you couldn’t help but grow more accepting of it even if you were unsure why.

Something internal that faded away as you slowly gave into his presences, into his continued touch and…!

(What was this feeling…?)

His touch continued to explore you; his hands brushed over your breasts underneath your clothes. Stony fingers that slipped in between your legs, guiding his digits towards your sex. A soft gasp escaping your lips as he ran tauntingly slow circles around your clit.

Next, he moved himself to hover you. His hardened length feeling just as rigid as the rest of him, if not even somehow more, hovered at your entrance. Slowly, he pushed the tip of his cock into your awaiting cunt, his length enveloped by your heat.

Slipping himself out and then plunging forth again and again—it felt like he was bruising you from the inside. His gradually quickening pace left you breathless yet somehow craving more despite the creeping exhaustion.

“My everything,” he’d mutter, his lips ghosting icy air against your own, his tongue wrestling yours. The experience felt almost jarring with how much attention you took in from a higher power, perhaps in a way that you shouldn’t. The angel continued to stalk his release regardless—appearing almost human—almost vulnerable as he pounded into you with want and need.

He grunted, though softly, as he worked his hips into yours. Despite this, your home only echoed back the sounds of your strained whining and almost relentless, breathless moaning. Your fingers clawing against the sheets—against his flesh—grabbing, almost as if desperately trying to hold onto your plummeting sanity as it somehow slipped away during your shared nights.

His rutting pursuit was by now deeper, his speed unforgiving. Your core felt as though it was going to be split apart by his plunging length. You felt exhaustion seep and settle while your insides soon felt pummelled and even sore as the angel reached an almost frenzied pace, seeking a violent release.

It was sudden as he finally met his end; his body finally spent. You felt as his cock twitched within your sex, emptying himself fully within your bruised core, leaving you a state of uncomfortable full of him and him alone.

As he relaxed and you recovered, the angel soothed you in your repeated panicked submission. His flesh that had since then merged with yours, rubbed raw against what felt like almost worn skin. His comforting touch smoothed goosebumps over you, leaving you once again feeling not quite chosen, but blessed with the essence of something else.

(Something worse?)

Whether or not it was power that he was giving you, it wasn’t something you could tell.

He soon left you in that now familiar dazed and almost high state—your hands drifting and slurring as you moved around in bed—phasing you in and out of your own fleeting consciousness.

And although the sensation faded and the skies lightened outside, for once, you were left feeling exhausted.

As though you couldn’t quite drop what the angel left behind this time.

You’d hands glowed a faint yet noticeable blue, trailing an aura behind as you moved them around in the air. Like seeping water that evaporated the second it lingered a little too long.

Whatever this was; a power, a blessing or something else.

You didn’t want it.

It hurt.

~~~

“Thou shall not lay in bed with the gods who masquerade as angels; lest you ascend.” — Ancient scriptures.

~~~

As if on clockwork, the angel would show up again and again as per the usual times. It was nighttime whenever it arrived with its heavy footsteps splintering the floorboards, icy fingertips that willed you awake, refusing to let you rest.

You couldn’t help but shudder whenever you jolted back into the conscious realm. The touch now feeling familiar, yet somehow so freshly invasive every time.

Something felt different this time though.

“Would you like to be more than just blessed?” he asked you, although the way he delivered his words felt more like a statement than an offering. The way he spoke reminding you more of how the demons spoke; so elusive and almost deceitful.

You couldn’t form a proper response this time either. Your words stifled by a pressuring change in the atmosphere. Something about his words felt once again less like a prompt.

(Maybe more like a threat?)

‘More than just blessed.’

Your mind locked onto the way he said that and he seemed to notice. His icy blue eyes settled into your own gaze in a way that felt looming, as though he was attempting to get a read on your soul rather than to catch onto your interpretation.

“Will it stop the pain?” you finally managed to ask.

Ever since the first time the pain had began to linger, was when you started to feel like something was clearly wrong. The aura that trailed in your hands never subsided, instead slowly enveloping the rest of your skin. The burning sensation that developed in your skin when the pain manifested had only gotten worse since then. It was as though your flesh was overcome with an invisible fire that crackled and whipped away at your skin.

It surely must have been in your head, though.

Yet, despite feeling the blistering pops and the flickers of bursting skin, of charring bone that crisped deep into the core of your very being.

You couldn’t help but feel that this was all too real.

As if something within you was changing and not in a good way.

Not at all.

All the angel did was continue to smile at you. His many eyes once again fluttering around his body, as though blinking in desperation in attempted warning. Yet, the two eyes on his face remained still and almost dormant.

Sitting you upright and allowed for you to lean into his frame, his lips forged a smile to help you ease into his offering.

“It will stop the pain,” he promised, “you’ll never feel anything again, my pretty mortal thing.”

“Then—“ you coughed out, your voice hostage in your throat under a chokehold.

“—it’ll stop the pain,” he continued to comfort you, his hand brushing down your back in a soothing manner, whispering out his final words so that you just about couldn’t fully hear, “and everything else.”

Just as he said that, the pain built up within your body, the blue aura almost barely contained the longer it festered within you.

“I’ll do it,” you replied, finally giving in.

He smiled once more, however as soon as you finalised his non-offer, all remaining warmth that he held onto had since swept away, almost instantly. The once thought to be imagined sensation of hellfire burning over your skin was now visible, with roaring, crackling flames that continued to eat away at your body.

His words of promised mercy hung in the air as you focused on him out of desperation, the eyes scattered on his body weeping along with yours as you surrendered towards deceitful ascension. Your body feeling as though it was almost crumbling against his rigid touch, all the while he stared at your succumbing form.

Slowly, the blue fire closed in on you fully; encasing you in a flaming cocoon that wrapped tight around your body, constricting you.

As the fire finally burned away at your last remaining shred of pain, you longed for it to finally be over, to finally be free.

Yet, when you next awoke in a surge of jolting panic, you found that despite trying to tear your body forward, despite trying to thrash and and sway around—that you couldn’t move a single inch. Even though the sensation of peace washed over your soul, you found yourself encased in the body of someone else, watching through a fleshy tomb as they walked around with your frightened gaze guiding their way.

“There, there,” you heard a familiar voice hush you, his voice vibrating against your very being, “allow me to introduce myself to you. I don’t believe I ever have. I am the six eyed god of the open sky. You may have heard of me as the fallen angel, the one who dared to mingle with the demons and with the humans alike. Turns out I have an appetite for an uncorrupted soul and you’re lucky enough to be a part of me forever.”

You wanted to reply to him, but you couldn’t.

“Now, why wouldn’t I grant this opportunity… as some would call it, to the followers of my own temple, you ask?” he laughed, “because to worship is already giving into corruption and I only respond to untainted desperation.”

You fluttered your eyes as much as you could, the sensation feeling nauseating as you couldn’t scream while entombed within his own flesh.

“You’re crying, aren’t you?” he mocked, “I saved you. A life free from pain, free from suffering. We’ll be together as one, forever united within your dreams… but only when you’re ready once more, only when you’ve finally given in.”

You attempted to scream over and over again.

Yet no sound could be heard as you were forced to watch from his appointed gaze as his adorned seventh and eighth eyes, decorating his body as a purposeful stare, condemned to experience a life that wasn’t yours together with a deity who lied to you.

Yet the six eyed god of the sky didn’t see it that way.

For at last, he finally caught onto something human.

So pure and uncorrupted.

To finally challenge the system with what defined the balance of existence; to finally redefine both pain and peace within this corrupted world.

Together, you’d see the truth.

Even if you’d suffer for eternity as a result instead.

~~~

part 1 of lilac’s bite sized yandere jjk nightmares

a/n: the idea i was going for was that you got tricked by not an angel, not even a god, but by something worse. it was a play on gojo’s technique rendering him into nothing more than a tool and the societal weight on his shoulders. the six eyes being a burden (with some creepy yan!angel elements).

[yoonkinii]

Jealous Y♡u

Warning(s): cursing, jealousy, flirting with a taken man, hints to having sex (no smut though), anger, extreme kissing :3 Requests open (only for this AU) Masterlist (check for more AU content!) note: Sorry it's short! I couldn't get this idea out of my head and had to write it.

No matter how extravagant the restaurant was, your mood remained sour - a shame, really. 

Nestles in the heart of the city’s glittering downtown, the restaurant gleamed like a polished gem beneath the soft glow of its artfully arranged lighting. The entrance, framed by lush greenery and a discreet brass plaque, hinted at the understated elegance within. The sounds of lively conversations mingled with the gentle clinking of fine china and crystals, creating an atmosphere of refined luxury. 

Inside, the restaurant was a harmonious blend of contemporary design and classic sophistication, while the walls, dressed in muted shades of ivory and taupe, provided a serene backdrop. Large, abstract paintings added splashes of vibrant color - mesmerizing, but now only contributed to your growing headache.

You couldn’t sit still at your designated table, too restless and irritated to remain in one place. The business party was still in full swing, with unfamiliar faces chattering about topics you didn’t understand. When Sukuna invited you to his yearly business event, you were excited. It was a formality he dreaded but had to attend to maintain business relationships. But now, surrounded by strangers and trapped in your own thoughts, the excitement had long faded, leaving you adrift in a sea of discontent. 

A burst of laughter causes you to drag your eyes away from the expansive window, where the cityscape below had tried and failed to distract you as you sipped on your champagne. The laughter of the very person responsible for your agitation was hard to ignore. Your anger had been simmering for the past hour, and it was about to reach a boiling point. Perhaps it was the alcohol buzzing through your system, fraying your patience more than usual. Maybe it was a combination of everything. Either way, you were livid. 

Your eyes lock onto the two figures who have you clenching your glass a little too tightly, a tight-lipped grimace playing on your mouth as you watch them for what feels like the umpteenth time. You don’t know who she is or what her name is, but at this moment, you don’t care. To you, she’s simply that woman. 

She was pretty, very pretty, and she knew it. It was evident in her choice of attire - a brown bodycon dress that hugged her figure, accentuating her curves and leaving little to the imagination. You had noticed her the moment you walked into the restaurant. She had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, with a smile a little too wide as she greeted your boyfriend. Normally, you wouldn’t have minded; it’s not like you’re the jealous type. But after her backhanded comment, something inside you snaps. 

“Oh! I totally expected you to be with someone else.”

From that moment, everything went downhill. She completely disregarded the seating arrangements, forcing someone else to take her original spot so she could sit on the other side of Sukuna. Her behavior escalated from a harmless crush on your boyfriend to blatantly throwing herself at a taken man. It started with seemingly innocent compliments before progressing into something worse. 

“I like your hair today.”

“That shirt looks great on you.”

“Your piercings suit you.”

And poor Sukuna, completely oblivious to this woman’s intentions, responded to her words with a simple hum, not truly paying attention to her at all. To his credit, Sukuna was focused on one thing - you. His hand rested on your thigh, the pads of his fingers massaging the delicate skin of your inner thigh absentmindedly. Throughout the main course, Sukuna leaned into your ear, whispering who was who or making sly comments about others, relishing in the way your soft laughter danced in the air. 

Sukuna remains oblivious to the woman’s intentions, his mind filled with thoughts of you, and only you. He doesn’t notice the way she inches closer, or the way her laughter seems to cling to his every word. His focus is entirely on you, but you don’t see it that way. You don’t see the way his gaze softens whenever you meet his eyes. Dressed in a cream-colored dress with a square neckline that leaves your collar bones on display, you’re the picture of elegance. Sukuna is sure that anyone who cared to notice would definitely see how his expression changes when he looks at you. 

But she doesn’t give up easily. Even after the meal, her persistence lingers like an unwanted shadow. She laughs at everything Sukuna says, her hands constantly finding its way to his biceps, her body icing closer with each passing  minute. Even as Sukuna excuses himself with a kiss on your cheek to speak with a close business partner, she follows, as if tethered to him. 

And so, you find yourself in your current state, scowling as you watch her from across the room. Her laughter is loud and shrill, cutting through the fin of conversations around you. A server passes by, and you force a strained smile as you exchange your empty glass for a full one. The rim of the glass soon bears the stain of your red lipsticks as you hover it near your lips. 

Then, it happens in slow motion. Sukuna’s lips move as he speaks, a faint smile gracing his face as he talks with an older gentleman. But her reaction is out of place; she laughs far too heartily for something that isn’t even remotely funny. As her shoulders shake with her exaggerated laughter, she wraps her arms around Sukuna’s arm, pressing her chest firmly against him. 

Before Sukuna can even register what’s happening, you’re already by his side. Your champagne glass is abandoned on a nearby table as you wedge yourself between them, forcing her to disentangle herself from him. She stares at you, wide-eyed, and it takes every ounce of restraint not to whip that look of confusion off her face with your fist. 

With barley concealed sarcasm, you address her, your voice dripping with venomous politeness. “Sorry, I need to borrow my boyfriend. Is that alright with you?”

She’s visibly taken aback, her pout deepening as she glances at Sukuna, as if expecting him to rescue her from this situation. But Sukuna, feeling the tug on his arm, follows you as you lead him away, guiding him to a secluded area- the restroom. 

The restroom is dimly lit, with warm hanging bulbs casting a soft glow. The black wooden floors and walls accentuate the golden accents of the large, well-lit vanity. A few potted plants sit in the corners, adding a touch of life to the otherwise moody atmosphere. 

Sukuna barely has time to react before you push him into the restroom, the door clicking shut behind you as you turn your back on him, your breaks deep and uneven in an attempt to calm your rising anger. But it’s not working. The fury simmering inside you is only growing hotter. 

“I’m going to fucking kill her,” you hiss through clenched teeth. 

“Jealous, are we?” His voice laced with amusement. 

You whirl around, closing the distance between you in a heartbeat. Sukuna’s lips curve into a smile, clearly entertained by your fiery demeanor. It’s not often he sees you this worked up, and he can’t help but find it endearing, even if the pout on your lips is more adorable than intimidating. 

“I am not jealous,” you retort, though your words come out less convincing than you intended. 

“Oh?” His brow arches in mock surprise, arms crossing over his broad chest. The fabric of his dress shirt strains against his muscles, the buttons barely holding on, as if threatening to pop off at any moment if he breathes too deeply. 

Damn him for looking so good. Damn him for those tattoos that decorate his skin. Damn his piercings, and the new one on his lip. Damn him. Damn him. Damn him.

Before he can tease you further, you grab him by the collar, pulling him down as you rise on your toes. Sukuna grunts in surprise as your lips crash into his. His hands instinctively slide down your back, finding their place on the curve of your ass, where he gives a gentle squeeze, encouraging you. 

“I hate her.” You mumble against his lips.

Sukuna smirks, ready to make a playful comment, but it does on his lips the moment your mouth moves to his neck. Your kisses are wicked, nipping, and sucking at his skin, leaving a trail of red marks in their wake. He shudders, feeling the sting of each possessive kiss, his breaths coming in shallow gasps. 

You both stumble in the small space of the restroom, Sukuna pushing you back until your spine meets the cool surface of the locked door. A breathy exhale escapes him as he tilts his head, granting you better access to his neck. The sensation of your lips painting his skin with red blooms sends a shiver down his spine. 

“Shit.” He mummers, his legs slotting in between yours, pressing himself impossibly closer to you. 

Your brows knit together as you guide his face lower, your fingers firm on his chin. Sukuna feels like he’s burning up from the inside, his eyes darkening with desire as he takes in the intensity of your gaze. The sight of your smudged lipstick only adds fuel to the fire, tightening his grip on you and stirring something primal in him.

You cup his cheeks, your lips leaving no inch of his face untouched - his cheeks, his forehead, the corners of his mouth. Everywhere. When you finally try to pull away, his reaction is swift. One of his hands that had been resting on your ass shoots up to the nape of your neck, pulling you back into a fierce kiss. 

A soft breath escapes your lips, and Sukuna seizes the opportunity, deepening the kiss as he explores your mouth with a fervor that sends a shiver down your spine. A needy whine escapes you as his hands rove across your body, squeezing and caressing with a possessive hunger. Every touch, every press of his fingers, feels like he’s staking his claim on you, and it only intensifies the fire within him. He wants more. No, he needs more. How dare you make him feel this way- jealous of him, when every fiber in his being is devoted to you? How dare you kiss him with such need when he’s been restraining himself, battling the urge to ravage you every waking moment. 

A sudden knock on the door startles you, causing you to jerk back so sharply that your head smacks against the wood. A hiss of pain slips from your lips, and Sukuna’s deep laugh rumbles through his chest, the sound vibrating against your body. 

“Um, excuse me, you've been in there for a while and-”

“Leave before I kill you with my bare hands,” Sukuna growls, his eyes never leaving yours, even as you shy away, your cheeks burning with embarrassment at being interrupted. 

Silence follows as the unwelcome intruder quickly retreats, leaving the two of you alone once more. 

Sukuna exhales, the tension in his body still palpable, but now there’s a look of pride in your eyes as you take in his disheveled appearance. His lips are swollen, his hair a tousled mess from your hands, and his skin is covered in red marks left by your lipstick - a masterpiece of your own making. His body is a canvas, and you’ve painted it with your passion. 

He forces himself to step back, muscles taut with restraint. He wants nothing more than to take you here and not, but duty calls, and he knows he must stay for the remainder of the party. If not for that, he would have dragged you out of the restaurant to finish what you started in the privacy of his home. If he could even make it that far. 

“Leave,” he orders, his voice tight with the effort it takes to say the words. It’s the last thing he wants, but if you stay, neither of you will be leaving the restroom anytime soon. 

You smile softly at him, noting the frustration in the slight downturn of his lips. 

“Don’t take it off,” you reply, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you turn to leave. 

Sukua gives you a confused look before glancing at the mirror. His breath catches in his throat when he sees the array of kiss marks you’ve left on his skin. He turns back, but you’re already gone. 

You are not a jealous person. That’s what you tell yourself as you cast a knowing glance at the woman who had dared to overstep her bounds. It’s not jealousy that fuels you as you reclaim your seat, your once-discarded champagne glass now back in hand. It’s not jealousy that brings a surge of satisfaction when you see the disheartened look on her face as Sukuna emerges from the restroom, his skin marked with the evidence of your affection. It’s not jealousy that makes you giddy as he resumes his conversations with business partners, completely unbothered by his less-than-ideal appearance. 

No, you are not a jealous person.  

-

Taglist (open): @kalulakunundrum , @fushipurro , @sad-darksoul , @cupcaketeddybehr

[happyhauntt]

— april fic recs, brought to you by happyhauntt.

it's that time again! a wee fic rec post for a few of the fics i read in april that altered my brain chemistry!! i've put a lil comment next to each rec because honestly writers don't get praised enough for their work these days and i wanted to show my appreciation for these talented souls!!

criminal minds.

➡ spencer reid.

in every other life by @irndad. notes: adorableness incarnate honestly.

trouble almost all my life series by @januaryembrs. notes: might honestly have to put this on every masterlist til the end of time.

forgiven by @reiding-writing. notes: um HOW DARE YOU i sobbed my way through this

grishaverse.

➡ kaz brekker.

breakfast by @sophierequests. notes: look i'm a simple human i see badass characters and i fall in love

➡ jesper fahey.

i'm your gal by @atlabeth. notes: NOT ENOUGH JESPER FICS and this one is GLORIOUS

star wars.

➡ poe dameron.

the f-word by @the-little-ewok. notes: i reread this constantly pls it's so good

moon knight.

➡ marc spector.

i should've been there by @januaryembrs. notes: not em out here ruining my life and making me sob AGAIN you simply never miss

9-1-1.

➡ evan buckley.

take my hand by @redocity. notes: cute cute cute cute cute

emergency room by redocity. notes: the ANGST i feel well-fed

won't say i'm falling by @borntobewondering. notes: this was DELICIOUS

➡ buck / eddie.

a bleeding sun on a silver screen by @hoediaz / rarakiplin on ao3. notes: i was fully choking back sobs while reading this. i binged this fic in less than 24 hours and it has changed something fundamental inside me. i will never be the same person again. i'm billing you for my therapy.

good luck, babe by @hattalove. notes: i cackled my way through this, potentially the funniest shit ever.

hate to say i spent it all on masquerades by hattalove. notes: i sobbed and sobbed and sobbed while reading this. this fic is everything to me, it should be required reading for all my friends who want to understand me, it is beautiful and magical and i want it tattooed on my face.

don't wanna let you love somebody else but me by @shitouttabuck / fleetinghearts on ao3. notes: sheer adorableness i will well recover from this!!!!

tried and true blue by shitouttabuck / fleetinghearts on ao3. notes: SCREAMING I'M SCREAMING I MAY NEVER STOP SCREAMING

like a dog with a bird at your door by shitouttabuck / fleeting hearts on ao3. notes: iconic. truly iconic. quite possibly one of my fav fics ever written.

let the world have its way with you by shitouttabuck / fleeting hearts on ao3. notes: you don't understand how hard it was not to include every single one of shitouttabuck's fics on this list and there will almost certainly be more in future but i just want them tattooed on my forehead i feel insane

i have dreams where i kiss you and it's pink by shitouttabuck / fleeting hearts on ao3. notes: the cutest and i mean THE CUTEST shit ever

all my shattered oaths by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels on ao3. notes: i sobbed. i sobbed so hard i think i burst something honestly. everything from this author is immaculate but THIS is the holy fuckin grail and i will truly never be the same again.

let my ink stain your pages by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels on ao3. notes: castle au CASTLE AU i'm a sucker for a castle au and this is EVERYTHING

even in winter there is eranthis by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels on ao3. notes: i think about this fic daily.

your love is an oil slick by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels on ao3. notes: this is everything this is EVERYTHING to me i will reread this weekly for the rest of my life

even the darkest night by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels on ao3. notes: stardust au STARDUST AU aka my favourite movie and my favourite ship combined into a fuckin masterpiece

curl up in my heart and let me keep you by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels on ao3. notes: soft sweet my brain is mushy and i adore this

hoping it gets to you by @bucktommys / hammersmiths on ao3. notes: cute adorable stunning MAGNIFICENT

you're my whole house by @/bucktommys / hammersmiths on ao3. notes: THIS FIC OUT HERE MAKIN ME SQUEAL AND KICK MY LEGS

left unsaid by c_m2 on ao3. notes: this is mcfuckin adorable i'm crying buck deserves everything in the world

say yes to heaven by dylaesthetics on ao3. notes: okay full disclosure this made me cry so much i threw up. also it hit some pretty intense trauma for me. still so glad i read it because it was also kinda healing. and i want everyone else to suffer like i have because fuck i suffered.

if i need to rearrange my particles, i will for you by dylaesthetics on ao3. notes: author you will always be famous bc you're knocking my emotional stability OUTTA THE PARK

honestly, truly, completely by dylaesthetics on ao3. notes: simply fuckin adorable

feels like magic by 42hrb on ao3. notes: there's nothing i adore more than an urban fantasy au and this one is EXQUISITE

fallin' into your ocean eyes by princessfbi on ao3. notes: okay every part of this au is absolutely fuckin perfection i am so deeply in love with it

until now by tearsthissideofheaven on ao3. notes: a reincarnation au??? it's like you know how to ruin my life

if i never hear your voice again by @actualalligator. notes: disability rep!!!! brilliant writing!!!!

life sure can try to put love through it by @capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: ahahaha ruin my life why don't you

sometimes its hard to see what the future holds by @/capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: olympics buddie au??? didn't know i wanted it but now i can't live without it

all good things come to an end (but it's not the end) by @/capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: i will, in fact, devour every buddie!fwb au ever written but this one is especially great

you smiled and it was the most beautiful thing that I'd ever seen by @/capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: coffee shop!buddie have become everything to me wdym

it's funny 'cause i've always dreamed of me and you by @/capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: yes i did sob my heart out reading this and i'll do it again

'cause darling, you're the one by @/capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: icymi i think this author is the best author to ever exist and i want to devour everything they write forever

i don't think that we should have friendly sex, anymore by @/capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: !!!!!!! that's it that's the note. brain: faye you can't put this many fics by the same author on one masterlist. faye: bET-

still i call it magic (when i'm next to you) by @clusterbuck / lecornergirl on ao3. notes: urban fantasy is, in fact, my shit.

(this kiss is) something i can't resist by @/clusterbuck / lecornergirl on ao3. notes: NO BC THIS HAD ME CACKLING AND ALSO IT'S BRILLIANT

give me five more minutes, baby (i'm not finished loving you) by @/clusterbuck / lecornergirl on ao3. notes: fake dating or immaculate writing??? both

cuffing season by @/clusterbuck / lecornergirl on ao3. notes: i am still laughing at this and i may never stop

[cheesus-doodles]

i wonder how izana is like if he had a s/o during the time when he was the black dragon leader

Red Dragonflies Masterlist | Masterlist

‎‎‎

i have actually answered this previously in these Relationship HCs ! and this is also the case in my red dragonflies AU, former gang leader reader is actually Izzy's s/o when he was the black dragon leader - have linked the masterlist up top cough

but because I like to rant, here are some more thoughts about yan black dragon-era Izzy and you, which can apply to both regular reader and gang leader reader!

Izana was probably already very unstable and jealous during his time as the 8th Gen Black Dragon leader, what with the entire situation between Shinichiro constantly talking about Mikey, and learning that the Black Dragon gang would go to said boy instead of him. Combined that with him having found you as an s/o, someone that Izana would see as his, something that he could finally own and keep to himself without having to share (unlike the whole situation with Shinichiro), no doubt that it wouldn't take long for Izana to swing into yandere tendencies, becoming extremely overbearing and overprotective over you.

‎

With you around, there is a very clear difference in Izana's mannerisms and general behavior. Almost a personality flip in fact, it's night and day how he acts in your presence and when you aren't present. After all, there's a certain way that Izana wants you to perceive him as, and then there's everything else - so this white-haired boy would be sure to carefully tailor and adjust how he acts around you to what he knows you like (to a certain degree of course). As long as you don't threaten the status quo, as long as you keep by his side and his side only, your precious Izzy is whoever you want him to be. Loving, kind, doting, he can almost seem to read your mind and predict your moods.

Knows how to make you feel better after a shitty day, knows what to say and what to do to get you falling heads over heels for him over and over. But don't let that fool you into thinking that you were beyond his manipulation, because nope, not a chance. If he even has the slightest doubt that you were drifting away from him, or worse, thinking of leaving him, expect for Izzy to start subtly tearing you down. He wouldn't sound any different from what he usually does, cooing, low, soft murmur, but the things that slip from his mouth; it pokes at your insecurities, stirs the doubts you have about yourself. Yes, you were the most beautiful person he had laid eyes on, but did you think that really extended to everyone? Surely, surely you know that only he can love you like this? You couldn't possibly survive away from his side the way you are, right?

In his mind, Izzy is only doing it because he loved you as much as he did - you were made for him, like he was made for you. He couldn't live without you, so even if he had to hurt you a little, it'll all be worth it. You'll see that it was all for you.

‎‎

Wouldn't be uncommon to see him roaring down streets, both city and mountain ones alike, on his motorbike with you clung to his back and with no specific destination in mind - just likes to spend time with you, brings you anywhere that you want to go. Besides, the delinquents in the city, be they Black Dragons or rival scum, know better than to stare at the two of you. Loves light, airy places, so be prepared to spend a lot of time just hanging out together on rooftops and mountains, somewhere where you can feel the breeze through your hair, where Izzy can get you all to himself. All your attention being on him is the best kind of date.

There's no such thing as privacy, period. He absolutely needs to know everything that happens in your life, and anything less would earn you a full tantrum and fit. Put simply, its either Izana is there, hovering next to you and keeping one violet eye on all your ongoings, and no doubt this baby boy has someone (cough Inupi cough) tagging you from a respectable distance when he isn't free. That is, on top of having unfettered access to everything on your phone; call logs, messages, photos. Nothing is secret from him, why would it be? What do you have to hide from your partner?

You don't go anywhere new without Izzy. Why do you have to? What were you hiding? Your future husband would be happy to take you anywhere you have to go: cafe, the new department store downtown, even festivals. So unless you were trying to hide something from him, why wouldn't you want him to go along? Don't you know how dangerous it is out there? What if you get jumped by a rival gang? Needless to say, keeping presents a secret from this boy isn't a walk in a park.

‎‎

Everything else that Izana doesn't think you would approve of seeing would be done out of your sight. He doesn't like having you see the darker side of your boyfriend, the one that deals with weapons and drugs, the one that beats people, both civilians and his own gang members alike for the mildest of perceived infringements against you. You were too soft, too delicate for that. What if you got scared off? What would he do if you became frightened of him?

Instead, all his rage, all his hatred, he poured into the Black Dragon gang, leading them down darker and darker paths. The entire world was scum as far as he was concerned, trash that he had to beat and flatten into perfection so you didn't have to foul your hands and feet.

Sure Izana couldn't keep Shinichiro to himself as much as he desperately wanted to, the first time he truly found family - the source of a lot of his anger and jealousy. He hated Mikey, and always will, for stealing his older brother. But you were perfection, divinity, and you filled the hole in his heart; you didn't have to see that side of him if you just stuck by his side and returned his love. You were the only thing giving stability to a very fragile Izzy, and god only knows what would happen to him if that stability ever left. Izana would give you the sun and the moon if you wanted them both, all he asked for in return was your loyalty.

[melodic-haze]

Probably a strange ask, but pajama party sleepover with Topaz where the reader gets them matching Dino onesies?

☆ — DEMO TRACK: Topaz x Reader, Yae Miko x Reader

☆ — TYPE: SFW

☆ — NOTES: Using this ask to gauge if I can get a handle on Topaz's personality, cuz I didn't acc originally have her in the list I write for lol. I hope yall don't mind that I combined this into one post :33 anyway IT'S NOT WEIRD AT ALL❗️❗️❗️❗️ DUDE I'd wanna get matching onesies w the girlies :((((((( they're cute as hell and comfy

TOPAZ

"Babe?"

"Yeah?"

"You're taking quite a bit in there. Everything alright or..?"

"Yeah, everything's fine! I'm done, actually!"

"Come out, then! I feel like I've been waiting for you for ages! Right, Numby?"

You hear a muffled squeak from the other side of the door and you couldn't help but giggle both at Topaz's dramaticism and the little surprise that you have for her. Without a delay, you placed your hand on the doorknob, "You ready to see this?"

"Sweetie, I don't know what I'm seeing. But of course I'm ready to see you, no matter what!"

You rolled your eyes at the light flirt before turning the doorknob, stepping out of the bedroom and finally showing your girlfriend the long-awaited surprise.

You see her unfiltered joy before you hear it; she practically jumps up with a pleasantly shocked look on her face, one that easily morphs into a smile as she stumbles over to you to hug you with a squeal. Numby had followed close behind, rubbing its snout on your legs happily and running around.

"OHMYGOODNESS?? You look absolutely adorable!! You're one of those dinosaurs that some of the worlds have! This is the surprise you were talking about?"

You shook her head, "This is part of it. The real surprise is in the bedroom. I think you'll like it—both of you."

She narrowed her eyes at you before the dawning realisation came in the form of her flabberghasted look, "There's NO way."

"See for yourself."

Topaz swivels her head at Numby, who does the same thing in turn, before they both practically dash over to the bedroom. Unsurprisingly, you hear a squeal of utter happiness—your girlfriend always had an affinity towards cute critters, or cute things in general, so such a reaction was definitely no surprise.

And when she comes back out again, the pet warp trotter in tow, you can't help but relate to her unfiltered love for them.

"You got us matching onesies."

You nodded with a grin, "I did. Do you like it?"

"How is that even a question?" She practically skips over to you before putting her arms around your neck, "I LOVE it!! It's basically a guarantee that you look cute, but don't I look cute? Doesn't Numby look cute?? They look like a tiny little dinosaur, I think I could cry..."

A laugh bubbled up from your chest at your girlfriend's enthusiasm as you wrapped your hands around her waist, "I thought you might like something like this—you've been working hard, so I thought I'd get you something."

Her excitement dies down just a touch, though the affection in her eyes was plain to see, "Babe.. you didn't have to do that! I love the work."

"I know you do! I just wanted to get you a little extra for when I finally get you to settle down with manual labour for a night in."

"I'd say it's more than worth it." She pulled back with a flourish, picking Numby up to show off their gifts, "Cute and comfortable? I don't think anything could beat this."

"I dunno..." You shrugged lightly, "You haven't seen what else I have planned for this sleepover."

"Then I personally grant you the opportunity to change my mind."

She smiles so very brightly at you, and it's as if everything else has been washed away.

YAE MIKO

"You're awfully secretive with this little 'surprise' of yours, aren't you?"

"I think not being secretive defeats the entire purpose of a surprise."

"While you may be correct," she crosses her arms with a small smirk, "the blindfold is a touch overkill, don't you think? You wouldn't dare to stage a kidnapping on poor me, would you?"

"And risk the Shogun's wrath?" You scoffed out a laugh, "I don't think so. Plus it's to make sure you aren't peeking!"

"Did you not go into your room to change?"

"Yeah, but-- wait how did you know I was changing?"

You could practically hear her eyeroll, "I have ears, darling; ones that can hear far more than the normal human auditory system."

"Yeah, yeah, you can hear more than the usual person, I think I get it... Anyway, I'm coming out now, so you can take your blindfold off if you want."

"I still don't see the reason why--"

"Miko, babe, do you want to see me or not?"

"Fine, alright, seeing as how you want me silent, I shall cease my jabs at you.. for now."

Now you were the one to roll your eyes as you opened the door and walked over to your fox-like lover, clothes in hand. And as you did so, she removed the piece of cloth wrapped around her head before opening her eyes.

Instead of her usual vigilance, she actually takes a little time to stare at you.. and the folded gift in your hands. Amethyst eyes narrowed at the latter specifically before they darted over to you and your getup.

Then, a smirk made its way over to her lips as if it were another typical moment of her teasiny you, though you don't miss the way her pupils expand and her eyes glimmer in warm affection, "My, my... If you wanted to be my cute little bunny so bad, I'm sure we could arrange something."

You felt a blush overtake your cheeks, though you shook your head in an attempt to settle yourself, "Nevermind that, why don't you focus more on what I'm holding for you?"

To her credit, she does. But then she looks at you with a raised brow, "Are these.. matching onesies?"

"Yeah. Why," you feel something inside you twist the slightest bit, "you don't like it?"

"Mmm... We shall see."

Her expression is sly, though she doesn't give her feelings away as she takes the gift and heads for the bedroom to change. You knew Miko loved to be a cryptic woman, but it was a little frustrating when it came to the smaller things—did she like it? Hate it? Is she just.. humouring you so that you feel bad? Or maybe she's making fun of you by doing so...

"Dear?"

You are snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of Miko's voice, albeit a touch muffled due to the walls between you, "Y-Yes? Sorry, did you need something?"

"No, not necessarily. You were rather quiet while waiting for me."

"What, did you want me to bang on the door desperately?"

"I do have a penchant for the dramatics." You rolled your eyes as you heard her laugh, though she continues not long after, "I'm done. Be grateful that I hadn't asked you to wear a blindfold."

"Uh huh, I'm very grateful. Now come out, I wanna see you!"

"Patience, bunny. I'll be out in a second."

The door opens, and she steps out wearing matching onesie given to her. Though you notice that she has yet to put the hood on her head.. and the slight tint of pink that dusted her cheeks as she looked at you head-on. Was she actually embarrassed?

She huffed lightly, a slight smile on her lips, "Putting a fox in a bunny onesie seems akin to having a wolf in sheep's clothing, don't you think?"

You shrugged, "No matter what, you look cute either way."

"Was that your main goal? To have me look simply adorable for you to gawk at? Is my beautiful humanoid form not enough for you?"

While her tone was mostly teasing, there was a touch of.. something else—a tone someone asks when they are lost. Perhaps it was the loss of her intimidating air; she did love to make others squirm, but in a getup like this? How could she ever achieve that?

You shake your head, "I found these while I was out for a little shopping trip and thought that these would make you both cute and beautiful. Why, you don't like it?"

Her eyes softened, "Of course I like it, my darling.. though next time, how about we buy fox onesies together instead? Cute aesthetics are more suited towards.. hmm.. that Yashiro Commission girl, for starters."

A laugh bubbled up from within you, "Haha, alright, alright. But you're still my cute little kitsune."

"Little? Oh, that's highly debatable. Now, is this all we're going to be doing, staring at each other and how well we match, or are we doing anything else for tonight?"

"I've actually got a few options for you." You held out your hand to her, "If you'll follow me..."

Her hand takes yours, and you move on to proceed your comfortable night with the beautiful fox envoy, completely forgetting the rest of the world.

[estapa-edwards]

BAD DAY - M. REMPE

paring: Matt Rempe x fem! reader

word count: 0.8k

requested? yes - Hi! Hope you have a good week! I really love your work! My request; what about Quinn, Bedard, Rempe, Bordeleau, Matthews (& anyone else you fancy) with reader (either dating, friends, or siblings) who is having a bad day or something along those lines (reader is in needs of hugs & cuddles)?

warnings: use of y/n.

*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*

In the bustling realm of professional ice hockey, where adrenaline meets the cold bite of competition, few stories captivate fans more than that of a rookie rising to prominence. Matt Rempe, a fresh face on the roster of the legendary New York Rangers, embodies this tale of determination, skill, and heart. But beyond the rinks and cheering crowds lies a quieter narrative, one of love, support, and comfort shared between Matt and his girlfriend Y/N.

As Matt's career soared, Y/N remained his steadfast anchor through the highs and lows. Yet, even the most resilient souls face days heavy with burdens, and one particular evening found Y/N battling the weight of a particularly trying day. The stress of work, combined with personal struggles, cast a shadow over her usual effervescent spirit.

It was amidst this backdrop of emotional turbulence that Matt returned home from practice, his mind still buzzing with the intensity of the ice. Stepping into their shared apartment, he sensed the heaviness in the air, the subtle shift in Y/N's demeanor. Without a word, he closed the door behind him and crossed the room to where she sat, a silent sentinel amidst a sea of thoughts.

"Matty..." Y/N's voice wavered, laden with the weight of unspoken troubles.

Matt knelt before her, his eyes gentle yet probing. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked softly, his hand reaching out to brush away a stray lock of hair from her face.

Y/N sighed, the dam of her emotions threatening to break. "It's just been... one of those days, you know? Everything feels like it's going wrong," she confessed, her gaze seeking solace in his steady presence.

Matt's heart clenched at the sight of her vulnerability, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive. Rising to his feet, he extended a hand to her. "Come here," he murmured, his voice a soothing balm against the turmoil of her mind.

With a hesitant nod, Y/N accepted his offer, allowing him to draw her into his embrace. In the shelter of his arms, she found refuge from the storm raging within, the warmth of his touch chasing away the chill of uncertainty.

As Y/N leaned into Matt's embrace, she could feel the tension slowly melting away, replaced by a sense of peace and security that only he could provide. His arms enveloped her with a strength that was both comforting and reassuring, anchoring her to the present moment amidst the chaos of her thoughts.

With her head nestled against his chest, Y/N could hear the steady rhythm of Matt's heartbeat, a steady cadence that echoed the promise of his unwavering support. Each beat seemed to whisper words of solace, soothing her troubled mind with its gentle melody.

Matt's fingers traced soothing circles along her back, his touch a gentle caress that seemed to chase away the shadows lurking in the corners of her consciousness. In that moment, there was no need for words—his presence alone was enough to dispel the lingering doubts and fears that had plagued her throughout the day.

As they stood there, wrapped in each other's embrace, time seemed to stand still, cocooning them in a bubble of tranquility amidst the chaos of the world outside. For in that fleeting moment, all that mattered was the love they shared, a bond forged in the crucible of life's trials and tribulations.

With a soft sigh, Y/N felt the last remnants of tension slip away, replaced by a sense of serenity that washed over her like a gentle tide. In Matt's arms, she found the strength to face whatever challenges lay ahead, secure in the knowledge that she was not alone.

"You don't have to carry this alone," he whispered, his words a gentle reminder of their shared journey. "I'm here for you, always."

Matt's voice was a soft murmur, his words a gentle reassurance that washed over Y/N like a soothing balm. She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his with a mixture of gratitude and vulnerability.

"I know," she whispered, her voice barely above a breath. "And I'm so grateful for you."

Matt's expression softened, his gaze filled with an understanding that went beyond mere words. He brushed a tender kiss against her forehead, a silent affirmation of his love and support.

"Whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'm here," he said, his voice a steady anchor in the storm of her emotions.

Y/N nodded, the weight of her troubles still heavy upon her shoulders, but somehow lighter now, knowing that she didn't have to face them alone. With Matt by her side, she felt a renewed sense of strength and courage, ready to confront whatever challenges lay ahead.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion.

Matt simply smiled, his eyes reflecting the depth of his love for her. And in that moment, as they stood together in the quiet sanctuary of their love, Y/N knew that no matter what life threw their way, as long as they had each other, they could overcome anything.

[secretobsessionstuff]

The Early Days 💜

In the early days of their relationship, Riley tried his hardest not to burp around Madix. Really, he avoided any bodily functions for the first three months of their dating. It wasn’t a big deal—just a slight aversion to showing vulnerability. Definitely not something he needed to bring up in therapy. 

So, imagine his embarrassment when his belly started to gurgle nauseously on their fifth or sixth outing that happened to be a double date with Madix’s roommate. Dakota was very friendly and loud. His girlfriend, Blair, was more relaxed. They wanted to do something more social than a movie, so Madix suggested a boardgame café just off campus. The combination of new people, a colourful environment, and an upset tummy made him dizzy.   

It was early in the evening. The four of them talked about splitting a plate of nachos as long as they kept the cards and game pieces clean. Riley agreed to everything they said, knowing full well that he wouldn’t eat anything. His stomach still felt full from lunch, and the idea of adding greasy cheese to the mix made him shiver. 

“What’s your major, Riley?” Blair asked after taking her turn to play a card. She had a soft smile that made Riley wish he could engage better in the conversation. 

“Um…psychology.” 

“That’s exciting. I almost took psych but changed my mind because…” 

A hot layer of sweat coated Riley’s body when he felt a gurgle move through his intestines. He shifted in his seat, trying to dull the squelching sounds. He caught bits and pieces of Blair’s story, but his attention was entirely stolen by the writhing in his belly. 

This was bad. The nausea and lower stomach cramps battled for dominance. He was most worried about the bubbling sensation in his bowels. Sweat gathered under his armpits and his neck. Pretty soon he would have to find the bathroom and pray that nobody else needed to go. 

Blair finished speaking but Riley apparently forgot to say anything in reply. There was a long, drawn-out pause. He startled when he felt Madix’s hand softly touch his leg from under the table. 

“Oh, that’s cool,” Riley said lamely, pushing his chair back to get out from under the table. “Sorry, I’m just gonna find the washroom.” 

For the next half-hour, Riley came and went from the table. Sometimes he made up excuses about getting a drink, yet never coming back with a cup. Sometimes he left in the middle of a game without saying a word. Most of the time, he hid himself in the single-person washroom, thankful that no one else could come in. 

His belly couldn’t make up its mind about being empty or not. Whenever he thought that there could be no more water left in his cells, he was once again proven wrong by the urgent rumbling in his guts. At least the stomach cramps were never enough to make him vomit, despite the nausea that clung to him like humid air. 

• • •

“Madix, I don’t think your date understands the concept of ‘taking turns’,” Dakota remarked as he rearranged his hand of cards for the fifth time. “He does know that the turns will eventually come back to him, right?” 

“Be patient, baby,” Blair answered for Madix. “He’s probably just nervous. Eat more nachos while we wait.” 

Madix sighed and leaned back in his chair, trying to see down the hallway that led to the bathroom. He was beginning to think that he chose an overly-stimulant place for their date. Riley had confessed to him that meeting new people was difficult for him, and here there was a whole other level to the socializing. No wonder his date kept taking breaks. Even Madix found the sounds of other people playing games distracting. The lights were too bright and the rules to every new game were complicated.  

“I should have picked a quieter place for him to meet you guys,” Madix said sadly. “I really want him to like you both.” 

Dakota nodded. “It’ll get easier. I’ll try to shut up more.”

“If he even wants to do this again,” Madix mused. 

Finally, Riley returned to the table. He ambled unsteadily down the hall, keeping his arms crossed over his body. Madix’s face lit up with a big smile as he pushed Riley’s chair out for him. That smile slowly fizzled away when Riley remained standing. 

Riley ran a shaky hand through his hair and spoke with a faint voice. “Madix, can I talk to you alone for a sec, please?” 

The boy was on his feet before Riley could finish the sentence. The two of them stood alone in the corner of the room. Madix lightly touched his arm, waiting for Riley to speak, dreading what he would say. 

“I think I’m gonna go home now.”

Madix tried to keep his expression neutral, as much as he wanted to pout and beg with Riley to stay. “…Okay, if that’s what you want. I’m sorry if this place is a bit much. It’s very busy, isn’t it?” He wanted to hug Riley and take his saddened look away. “And I’m sorry for touching your leg like that earlier. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

“Oh gosh, no. It’s not you,” Riley said pleadingly. Fuck, this is not what he wanted. He couldn’t let Madix think the date made him uncomfortable. But the only other option would be to admit how he felt.

“My friends really like you, I promise,” Madix rambled on. “Dakota is just an ADHD mess who never knows when to be quiet. He doesn’t realize he’s doing it. And Blair said she wants to be your best friend.” 

“Madix, it’s not you or your friends or this place.” Riley grabbed his arms to keep him from saying anything else. It was nice to lean on someone. Suddenly the fatigue, nausea, and dehydration slammed into him all at once. He swayed forward. “To be honest, I’m not feeling so hot.” 

“What?” Madix became aware of the weight he was supporting. He watched Riley’s eyelids droop, and his shoulders relax as the truth came out. Now that he knew what to look for, it was easy to see the signs in Riley’s baggy eyes, ashen skin, and sweaty palms. It explained his absence for most of the date. 

Riley let out a heavy exhale. Madix’s face softened as he began to understand. He might as well try a little exposure therapy and tell Madix the rest. “Something in my stomach isn’t sitting so well.”

“Did you throw up?” A realization dawned in Madix’s eyes. “Shit, you have that phobia thing, don’t you? What can I do? Maybe you should sit down.” 

“N-no, I’m okay for now. The fear is mainly towards other people. Like the sounds and stuff.” Riley shuffled his feet awkwardly on the floor, feeling his neck grow warm. “I haven’t thrown up. It hasn’t exactly hit my stomach yet, just um…other areas.” 

“Oh?” Madix cocked his head to the side, waiting for his brain to catch up. “Oh, right. Jeez, I’m sorry. That’s—that’s not fun.” 

Riley shook his head. Nothing about this was fun…okay except maybe Madix’s undivided attention, his strong grip on his arms, and the gentle way he spoke. Still, he didn’t want Madix to be around when the next wave hit. He didn’t want to be here at all. “So, I need to go home.” 

“Of course, yeah. I’ll order a ride.” He looked back at their table. “I’ll make up some excuse for why you have to leave. Can I wait with you outside?” 

“Sure.” 

The curb was cold on their butts, but it was better than standing. Their knees knocked together. Madix wrapped an arm around his date, trying to keep him warm. Occasionally, Riley moaned and leaned his face into Madix’s shoulder. 

“I got you. Everything good still?” 

The gurgling was back, this time causing Riley’s stomach to roil. His actual stomach. The organ ached beneath his hand. He couldn’t decide if that was better or worse than before. Nausea climbed higher up his throat, filling his mouth with saliva that he spat on the concrete. 

“I think I need to be sick,” Riley said, wiping his mouth. He opened his legs further to lean his head down into.

“Do you want me to leave?” An excellent question that Riley didn’t know the answer to. He liked the warmth pressed into his side. He liked the feeling of Madix’s hand rubbing his back. Without a reply, Madix continued by saying, “I don’t mind staying. You won’t gross me out.” 

A thick belch erupted from Riley’s mouth. He let his mouth hang open for saliva to trickle between his legs. “Ugh, please stay. I feel awful.” 

“I know, love, I know.” Madix rubbed big circles on the boy’s back. He vaguely wondered if Riley was going to overthink the term of endearment. All he knew was that his mom called everyone that, and it seemed to bring them comfort. It certainly brought Madix comfort when he’d been upset or sick.

Riley gagged over the puddle of saliva. The empty heaves rolled his shoulders forward with a harsh retch. He breathed heavily, hoping the vertigo would lessen before he actually started to vomit. His vision was obscured with black shadows at the edges. Madix remained sturdy, allowing Riley to anchor himself to him. 

A few hiccups and burps later, Riley brought up a watery wave of sick. Each successive belch became thicker until the full contents of his stomach were splattered on the ground. He felt disgusting. The view at his feet was sickening. But there is no point in describing it because none of it deterred Madix from staying by Riley’s side. 

After a lull in the vomiting, Madix squeezed his shoulder. “Do you feel better?” 

Riley sniffled. “A little. Thanks for keeping me company. I’ve never allowed a date to see me like this.” 

Madix placed his palm on his chest. “Well, I’m honoured.”

[familiarscars]

Lost In Control | Bad Omens | CHAPTER 13

adult content | minors do NOT interact.

⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. Bad Omens X ex-girlfriend and singer!Reader.

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. You and Noah had a difficult ending, but you still need to support each other for the band.

⋆ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒). melancholy, ex-boyfriends, difficult relationships, alcohol abuse, swearing, drug addiction, violence.

It's okay to not agree with the characters' attitudes during the fic. It's good to remember that the story is fiction from the author's sick mind, and of course they will make dubious decisions according to my fantasies. Nothing is done to be compared to reality.

Michigan, October 31, 2019

“Hey, we’ve landed.” He said softly, leaning close to your face while nudging your side. “You can open your eyes now.”

You cracked one eye open to check if you were still alive and in one piece after that flying machine had shaken so much on the way from Los Angeles to here. You felt his body shift with a faint laugh. Once you were reassured of your mere safety, you opened the other eye. Finally, the plane had touched down, and you could let go of Noah’s arms, which you’d been clutching onto like a monkey on a branch.

Bad Omens had released their second album just a few months ago. Finding God Before God Finds Me was the perfect blend of everything they’d worked on while locked in the studio for nearly two years, experimenting with new paths until they achieved the final result. The band had crafted a set of tracks that combined melodic elements with heavy riffs. They managed to balance the sound, carving out their unique identity, and leaving behind the comparisons to other bands from their debut album.

Since its release, the critics’ reviews couldn’t have been more positive.

The band’s rapid growth since their debut, along with the approval of both old and new fans, secured them a spot at another festival. A gathering of bands celebrating Halloween and the famous Devil’s Night—a local tradition, as you’d researched online.

“That was awful. I never want to fly again in my life!” You grumbled, adjusting in your seat and crossing your arms. “I can’t believe anyone still has the energy after surviving that turbulence that almost killed us!”

“GOOD MORNING!” Folio shouted, standing on the seat behind you, his high-pitched yell shaking your eardrums. “BAD OMENS IS GONNA DESTROY DEVIL’S NIGHT, BABY!”

You and Noah exchanged a glance and simultaneously rolled your eyes.

“Of course, he’s happy. He snored through the whole damn flight!” Your tone threatened to turn sharp as you were still annoyed, but it softened as you threw the neck pillow you were using at your friend, a smile tugging at your lips. “Pipe down, will you?”

Folio tossed the pillow back, hitting you in the neck with the fluffy object. Your mouth opened as if that action were a direct invitation to war. Once again, you hurled it at his face. While all the normal adults were lined up to exit the plane, you two were playing as if you were at home.

In one of your attacks, the pillow hit Noah’s face. The way he grabbed it, slammed it onto the other seat to end the game, and turned his attention back to his phone was enough to tell you something was wrong. Folio pursed his lips and abandoned the battlefield, retreating to his seat like a well-behaved child after a scolding.

He’d decided it was better to bother someone else.

Maybe Matt.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, nibbling on your lower lip as you tucked your leg under yourself and leaned back into the seat.

“Look at this…” His voice was filled with indignation, and his eyebrows drew together. Noah shoved his phone into your hand, and you took it slowly, seeing a single post on the screen. It was the lineup announcement for the Halloween festival, and initially, you couldn’t spot anything wrong.

“Sorry, but what’s the issue?”

“Gerard said we’d be the headliners of the night, but Landon’s band’s name is bigger than ours.” His eyes narrowed, his expression tense. Noah’s lips thinned, and his perfectly sculpted nose flared slightly.

“And this is a problem for us?” You squinted, puzzled. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the time zone change, but you genuinely couldn’t grasp where he was going with this.

Noah had always been the first to say you were too critical of Gerard, seeing problems where none existed.

“It’s a problem for me when they use my band’s name to sell tickets but place us on the same level as an inferior band on the poster. In what world does Landon’s band, which has only one viral song, deserve to have their name above mine?” His tone hardened. “In the initial announcements, the festival didn’t even mention their name in the banners, and now, after tickets sold out quickly, a new band magically appears on the lineup?”

“I think you’re putting too much energy into an issue that’s not that deep.”

Noah laughed bitterly, slapping his thigh in disbelief and shaking his head. It wasn’t news that out of all the members, he’d developed a bit of an ego issue over the years. Sure, Bad Omens had more hit songs, more listeners, and were better known than Landon’s band. But from an outside perspective, his tirade honestly sounded identical to a case of inflated pride.

“Hey!” Tapping his arm lightly with your fingertips, you managed to grab his attention again. It broke your heart to see him upset, but the little pout he made, puffing out his cheeks, was unbearably cute.

Slowly, you leaned over him, resting your chin on your hands on his broad shoulder covered by his hoodie. Like a needy puppy, he tilted his head and accepted the string of kisses you planted along the warm, soft skin of his face.

“If the problem is the font size they used for our name on there, I’ll make a new poster where Bad Omens will be the biggest name of all, and the other bands will be so small you can barely read them. How’s that?” Your question came with raised eyebrows, and it was impossible not to smile when he gave in, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, trying to suppress a grin.

“The biggest of all?”

“Yep.” You followed up with another kiss on his cheek. “And you can stick it on your wall as a keepsake.”

Your fingertips traced a slow path from his neck to his face. Noah chuckled reflexively from the ticklish sensation and startled you when he suddenly turned around, pulling you into his arms and pinning you near the window. Hovering over the divider between the seats in an awkward position, he refused to let go.

With your faces close enough to share the same breath, you felt warmth bloom in your stomach again as his expression regained its usual light. Some days, peace seemed to bless you both like a divine gift, and seeing him radiant was enough to make your body react.

In a shamelessly unfair move, he attacked you with a flurry of quick, loud kisses all over your face, finally stopping at the tip of your nose and pressing his forehead against yours.

“Will I get your autograph on it?” he asked in a hushed tone, as if sharing a secret.

“Have I ever said no to you?” you whispered against his lips, which then brushed yours in a tender kiss.

“Thank you,” he murmured with a soft smile, grazing his nose against yours. Knowing him as well as you did, you could tell from his low tone that a slight emotion was laced in his voice. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Your life would definitely be a total bore,” you teased, watching his smile grow.

For a moment, it felt like you weren’t on a slow-disembarking plane but rather caught up in one of your silly, casual conversations in a park. The way he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear sent shivers through your skin, stirring your flesh and igniting your veins to pump furiously toward your heart in an almost unbearable rhythm.

“Sometimes I feel like I don’t even remember what life was like without you,” he confessed, his bright eyes tinged with melancholy, and his brows knitted in a pained expression. “I caught myself thinking about it last night for no reason, and I couldn’t shake it. I know for sure that without you, I’d be nothing more than a breathing body, living on autopilot, just waiting for the next day. You’re part of me—you guide everything—and I’d never know how to do that without you. Without you, I wouldn’t even be Noah.”

Wrapping him in your arms didn’t feel like enough. You silently begged some divine force to merge the two of you into one at that moment, so overwhelming was your need to shield him from his fears. With the touch of your skin, you promised to always be there; with your lips on his, you vowed never to let anything tear apart what you had.

You found it equally terrifying to imagine life without him. You knew you’d be no more than a breathing body too. You wouldn’t be anything. You’d much rather self-destruct than endure being separated from the one thing that saved your life when even you didn’t believe in it.

He was as much yours as you were his, and nothing in heaven or hell could change that.

“I love you, little storm,” he whispered against your lips, his eyes still closed.

“I love you, my love,” you replied with a smile that always blossomed whenever those words left your lips.

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe we’re running this late, and you two are making out on the plane instead of moving! Do I have to babysit you all the time?” Matt bellowed, smacking Noah’s back. You and Noah exchanged glances, rolling your eyes as you muttered something incomprehensible before standing up. “I don’t remember getting paid for this! Move it! Move it! Let’s go!”

The show was in full swing, adrenaline running high. You and Noah couldn’t have been more in sync with the audience, which was the largest you’d performed for to date. Everyone screamed, shouted lyrics, and responded well to the interactions.

It felt cliché to say, but you felt even more alive up there, as if the stage’s euphoria sustained you. Every break between songs to catch your breath and take a sip of water filled your lungs with air and gave you the energy to keep giving your best.

They deserved it.

You focused on keeping your tone steady during the penultimate song, gripping the microphone tightly with your eyes closed. It was impossible not to wear a smile every time you heard them finish the lyrics for you.

In a swift motion, you opened your eyes to keep moving across the stage, but something in the crowd caught your attention, freezing you in place. Your voice faltered, and the smile disappeared instantly as the drums continued to beat feverishly in the background. Amidst the sea of faces, you saw only one—his. It was as if the others were dimmed, and his presence was the only one reflecting the light.

Wearing a cap, dark sunglasses, and a turtleneck, he seemed to be trying to blend in. But you would recognize him anywhere, even in a crowd of millions, even if your vision was impaired. Your body reacted instinctively. Your hands grew cold and clammy, making it hard to grip the microphone, your right eyelid twitched faintly, and your jaw locked so tightly you feared your teeth might crack.

Snapping you out of your hypnotic state, Noah took over the rest of the song, his voice gradually becoming a distant noise as the walls seemed to close in around you. Dark and claustrophobic, you felt like you were swimming against the current when, in reality, you were in the middle of a whirlpool pulling you down by the legs. Slowly, your breathing grew erratic, and your heartbeat pounded in your ears at a frantic pace.

The microphone slipped from your trembling fingers, and with hurried steps, you left the stage behind without even checking if what you saw was a delusion or if he was truly there. It didn’t matter—this time, you had the choice to run, and you took it.

Panting, you gripped the sink tightly, splashing water on your neck as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. Nothing seemed to calm the agony his presence in the same space caused—a mix of fear and despair that paralyzed your body. It didn’t matter how many years had passed or how far you had traveled; he still felt so alive in your skin that you could sense every memory as if it were yesterday.

The years hadn’t masked the torture of living in a body like yours. After being violated, it was never the same. No matter what you did to erase the traces of your former self—tattoos, surgeries, nothing could remove what was beneath your skin, coursing through your veins, lighting up every time something reminded you of him, no matter how small.

Your first reaction, after staring at your flushed, red reflection for what felt like an eternity, was to trigger an endless wave of vomiting into the cleaning bucket nearby. Everything in your stomach melted into a green liquid. The disgust was so overwhelming you kept inducing the next wave with your fingers until the acid from your stomach was the only taste on your lips.

You were desperate to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. The absence of release led you to lash out at yourself, scrubbing your mouth aggressively, scratching your face with the tips of your nails. The memories tangled, blurring the line between past and present. Both hurt so much you pressed your chest with all your might, your fingers clawing at your scalp, yanking your hair mercilessly. Low, hoarse screams tore from your throat.

You couldn’t make noise. You couldn’t forget this was your problem to bear.

After erasing the streaks of powder from the sink, you raised your face, breathing heavily as your heart pounded fiercely in your chest, heating the blood coursing through your veins. Slowly, you wiped the smudged makeup from the corners of your eyes and forced a smile, tucking your hair behind your ear. But your eyes remained sorrowful.

Pain.

Something hurt.

You just wanted to go home.

“Finally found you!” Noah said, placing his hands on his hips when he saw you leaving the bathroom. He was leaning against the couch in the dressing room, eating an apple. “What was that? Were you still feeling sick from the flight?”

From a distance, you observed him in silence. He didn’t seem angry about you leaving the stage or for being here. His bright eyes only showed concern, but the walls of your mind were compressed under such intense pressure that you wished he would disappear for a few seconds.

Before you realized it, Noah approached. In your peripheral vision, you saw him reaching out to touch your arm, but you sidestepped him, walking to the other side of the room.

"Okay, I got it!" He raised his hands with a smile, treating it like a joke, and something about that made you feel even worse. "We've got some people outside wanting to take pictures. Let's do a quick interview, and it’d be nice to talk to them on the way."

"What people?" You turned to him, stopping the massage on your neck. Noah narrowed his eyes slightly, analyzing the hesitation in your voice. "Where did they come from?"

"They’re fans who came to see us. I don’t think I can memorize every face..."

He could be among them. He could be among them.

Your mind repeated the thought as your hand moved from your neck to your hair. Your gaze fixed on a spot on the floor, and it was as if a projector replayed the scene in your head. He was there in the crowd, watching you, and now he wanted to pass himself off as one of your fans.

"I’ve told you before, I don’t like when you do that—you’ll hurt yourself." Noah startled you by gently pulling your fingers away from your hair at the back of your neck, where you had been tugging at it.

Carefully, he positioned himself beside you, lifting your chin with his finger. Softly, his hand wiped the dampness under your eyes, and you looked at him with something stuck in your throat, words failing to escape.

"Please, don’t make me go out there and take pictures with them," you whispered, clutching Noah’s torso so tightly your nails dug into his shirt. "Please, please, please... I don’t want to go."

Desperation and disorientation. Your eyes couldn’t settle on a single point, and your voice came in gasps as if you were running a marathon.

"Alright, but Gerard won’t let us leave without doing the interview. It’s part of the event coverage, and he thinks it’s important we talk to them." Noah explained, running his fingers over the top of your head as if the gesture might calm you. Something landed there—a kiss between your hair. He rested his chin on your head and sighed deeply. "Think you can handle it? Three or four questions, and then we’re free to go back to the hotel."

"Promise?" You asked, lifting your head after sniffing. Noah smiled and kissed the tip of your nose, resting his forehead gently against yours.

"I promise."

Facing yet another woman with dyed hair and fishnet tights. Interesting.

Since arriving at the makeshift studio where a camera and sound equipment sat on a table, the interviewer had only said a brief "hi" to you. You could tell she genuinely cared about the band, but that interest was entirely directed at one vocalist.

"This is Bad Omens’ first time as a headliner at a festival like this, and I wanted to know, what were your expectations, Noah?" The girl with the red-dyed hair and microphone in hand directed her sixth question to him. "Were they met?"

It wasn’t surprising anymore that they ignored the fact the band had five members, including two vocalists. Most interviews only requested one of you, and when the label forced you to accompany the poster boy, it was obvious you’d be overlooked.

To them, Noah was the centerpiece, and in their minds, everything Bad Omens had achieved was thanks to him alone. As if you and the other members were merely the crust of the pizza.

"I thought it was amazing!" He began. "From backstage, we could feel the energy of the crowd, and it got us pumped to get on stage. It’s the first time we’ve played for such a large audience, and I won’t lie—I was nervous."

"Do you usually have any specific preparation for that?"

"I like to take a few minutes alone to focus. I think it helps me stay grounded," he replied, and you rolled your eyes.

Playing with the microphone cord was already becoming tedious.

"We have to talk about the new album! It definitely has a different vibe from the last one, and people say you did that to put an end to online comparisons with another famous band. Is that true?"

He hated discussing it that way, and you noticed his discomfort as his smile faded slightly.

"It’s normal to compare—we were newcomers, and no one knew what the hell Bad Omens was." You jumped in, cutting Noah off before he could answer. "But this album truly shows who we are and what we’re here to do, putting an end to any comparisons by those who can’t tell the difference between styles. Without identity, we’re just another small-name band on a festival flyer, and we’re definitely not that kind of band."

Maybe you sounded arrogant. That’s what being around him does.

"That’s really cool!" She responded, nodding in agreement. "But Noah, how was the creative process for the softer songs, considering you guys weren’t used to that?"

It couldn’t just be your imagination, but something about her gaze said otherwise. Sure, you were used to being ignored in interviews as though you were a production assistant, but she not only directed all her questions to him but smiled sweetly and looked at him with a glimmer of fascination that made your chest throb.

All that irritation doubled as you gripped the microphone handle tightly, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Maybe your question would be answered if you directed it to the songwriter who worked on every soft track alongside Jolly." You interrupted again. "I don’t recall Noah announcing a solo career."

"Hey," he murmured, trying to calm you.

Of course, he didn’t want you to say anything. Something stroking his ego was still appealing, but you weren’t in the mood to play a supporting character today. You didn’t even want to be there, not when your heart pounded so hard it felt like it might consume your entire body.

"I’d really like to be seen as a vocalist in the band I’ve worked in for five years, and I’d appreciate it if you acknowledged me here to ask questions about the album I helped create instead of asking dumb questions to my pretty boyfriend!"

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Noah chuckle softly, quickly composing himself. The interviewer shifted in her seat, trying to smile discreetly to mask the blush spreading across her cheeks.

"I’m sorry..."

"But I won’t be sorry next time when I rip your eyes out for focusing too much on someone else’s boyfriend instead of doing your job. Misogynistic bitch."

In a fit of anger, you stood up and hurled the microphone at her face before storming out like a furious thunderbolt. For the first time, something felt off as you marched back to the dressing room, hearing the girl say the cut on her brow was minor. You felt rage, discomfort, like being trapped in clothes far too large for your body.

For the first time, you started to hate all of it.

⭑ @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard ; @iluvmewwwww75 ; @anarchydomainglory ; @foliosgirl ; @lma1986 ; @chey-h ; @supersquirrel1996 ; @zozaline ; @just-randomm-stuff

[eternalera]

so people have been wondering why caitvi is a lot less popular now within the arcane fandom than ships with timebomb or jayvik and as someone who ships them let me explain mostly why this is happening, of course mostly from the writing perspective as there is likely some misogyny included in said reason but thats just what ive heard and not seen (this does NOT mean it isnt happening though). and im also not including it because im just addressing why even some caitvi shippers (that i know) ended up not caring for it in s2

(click read more because this... this is a long one)

first off im stating that this is just a combination of what ive seen from other people and my own opinions. in your opinion these points can be completely dogshit and thats okay because they're opinions. not fact. with that being said lets get started.

1. Tension, s2 act 2 kills almost ALL of the tension that the first act sets up. in the first act you have them getting together, you have them finally kissing and breaking the previous tension in s1 then to keep people interested in the ship in the same episode they have them breakup. and this works people talked a SHIT ton about this and were going feral over it, looking at the trailer and seeing 'oh look at emo vi and her dictator gf!!' and even the 'there are two ways to handle a gay break up' memes. it was all over.

people were feral, waiting for the next act to see them interact and have beef with each other (before inevitably getting back together because we all knew it would happen). but in act two we dont really get that. we get the aftermath from vi's perspective and kinda cait's???? but then we have their interaction and people are hyped at this moment. because this is the moment. the one that they were all waiting for and there's a small scuffle before... it stops.

vi calls cait cupcake and... all if forgiven rather quickly in that scene (obviously in act 3 they have some more drama but we'll talk about it later). they have their moment and its cute. you have cait folding after being called cupcake, its cute. but thats just the thing. its nothing else but cute. there are still stakes dont get me wrong but that moment is just... so bad for cait's character. she has the whole dictator arc and it just takes vi calling her a pet name for her to switch sides.

and yes its adorable, its everything you want in a ship. but it doesnt really make sense when you take in account everything that they've been building up for cait. her dictator arc, her gassing zaun, training with ambessa, losing her mother, breaking up with vi. it all seems undermined by vi calling her a petname and all of the sudden the tension is taken out of their relationship.

they get back together (sorta) and help plan to take down ambessa and that's all it took. its like having a really evil villain who did a ton of bad things but the good guy gives them a pep talk (vi doesnt even do that) and all of the sudden their mind changes completely

it's not realistic, it doesn't make sense.

then you have act 3 and where vi actually confronts cait about ambessa and her going along with her actions and they have a small argument thats kinda just resolved by cait saying that she knows what she did wrong and that she tried helping jinx not get arrested too and then BAM there's a shift in the argument and then we're back to jinx and it never gets brought up again (correct me if im wrong)

their relationship follows this, happy moment, create something that causes tension, build up tension, refuse to follow through.

its like its tightening a string on an instrument to get a tone but before you pluck it the string loosens and all of the sudden you get this really really dull and kinda disgusting sound that doesn't leave you feeling 100% satisfied in the end

or if you're an artist almost filling in a circle completely but at the last second you color just a little bit outside the lines. it's not satisfying.

2. The sex scene, this is just mostly stuff ive seen and while i dont agree with all of it i must say that they do have their valid points of thinking that the scene was a little misplaced. most of the complaints of seen of this is that vi was out of character and that she should've been looking for jinx since it was implied that jinx was going to kill herself to 'fix' everything. and while i dont think vi couldve really known this i do see where theyre coming from as vi is inherently protective of jinx and her actions and even if there was the slightest chance that she might harm herself vi would do anything in her power to stop it and... she just doesnt.

when cait unlocks the cell she doesnt rush out to jinx, she just wallows a bit longer and mopes (WHICH IS FUCKING VALID BTW). then you have cait talk to her and... SEX. yeah there is other stuff between that but some people felt that they shouldve had them have their talk and then had vi rush out to help jinx.

a lot of people also felt that cait was taking advantage of vi in this moment (i do NOT agree with this at all) to an emotional extent and saying how the scene didnt feel right because vi wasnt in her best state (i agree slightly with this) and that the sex in the cell wasnt really reclaiming anything from all those years of being in the cell like the directors originally intended it to

then you have people saying that it was misplaced (and i kinda agree) and that it just felt so sudden for the both of them especially considering everything with them and then there's the next reason...

3. Caitlyn herself, there was so much drama about her character. in the first arc you have people defending her actions and who were ready to die for her and people getting mad at her, saying she was the worst and that she didnt deserve vi after what she did to her. this also comes with her character being set up to do a lot of evil shit in the future. there was drama (when is there not) and that meant the majority of people loved or hated her with a slim minority not really caring her for at all.

she was implied to have gassed zaun (actually its not even really implied as she, vi, and the gang do it that one episode in a montage and they actually show them doing it for like... a scene or two) and overall just have been a really shitty person to zaunites. she slept with maddie (which people HATED) and they kept leading up to her being the big bad the person who vi would have to convince but once again... they meet and all tension is ruined.

cait's character is one of the best and worst things in arcane. they did such a good job setting her up only to fumble last second and yeah... thats enough to effectively kill a ship as one half of it is the other character (assuming is a monogamy ofc) and 50% is not passing. people arent going to be as committed to a ship when they hate the other character in it and thats just a fact

4. Time, it just... didnt work. timebomb got a full episode (practically) devoted to it and jayvik was kinda in there as crumbs. not to mention that their entire arc is sprinkled a lot more effectively and more long lasting throughout s2 of arcane. with timebomb THEY GOT A WHOLE EPISODE

people already like both characters of ekko and jinx so yeah theyre going to go feral over what coudlve been. the dance, everything and it effectively builds up tension with showing us how good everything couldve been and fully releases it in a satissfying way with ekko's leave. with jayvik you have him going insane and realizing that he has to kill viktor in order to stop what happens in the future (GIVING US THE ANSWER TO WHAT HAPPENED IN EP6 and this also gives us more tension in the relationship when viktor comes back).

you have ekko stopping jinx from ending her life (another reason people didnt like the sex scene cause jinx was actively trynna off herself during it) and telling her to give living another chance because you can build something more you can start again. and you also have the implications of them drawing on themselves in the artbook and just in general during the show. you have the hot air balloon contraption that they create. its everything

jayce then meets with viktor in the room and there is tension so much tension and it all goes to them. then you have jayce confronting and giving himself to viktor on the battlefield and its so well written. now, personally i have my issues with how jayce talk not jutsu-ed viktor into stop being evil or whatever (personally that scene was like a 6/10 for me). "BUT WAIT WHAT ABOUT YOUR COMPLAINTS WITH VI AND CAIT AND CAIT FOLDING AFTER BEING CALLED CUPCAKE?!?!" they would be lessened if we were shown them talking and discussing what happened, what went wrong. with them we dont do that, we dont get the release of them regretting what they've done, their actions. that declaration of love.

with jayvik we do (love can be interpreted as romantic or platonic) and they probably spend more time in that scene talking about each other and how much they care for one another than caitvi do in the entirety of s2 when it comes to discussing their relationship.

basically what happened was that the writers confirmed 'yes theyre canon now, nothing else is going to happen to them. okay time to focus on other things' and caitvi got sidelined SO HARD in the end that come people stopped caring for them entirely and put more attention to ships and dynamics that were getting more attention and love from the show.

basically thats all i could think of and its 1am so sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes lol. tell me if i got anything wrong, if you agree or just your general opinions on the matter because this is what i could find/gather about them. have a good day/night everybody :)

[leonisloresmith]

Thank you pokemon leaks we all say in unison.

Here’s my interpretation of the Arceus circle as I choose to believe it and for the fic I’m writing.

Long explanation about which pokemon each circle stands for is beneath the read more-

In this interpretation, all of the pokemon included here are gods in the pokemon world. Most ascended to their roles, having once been normal people or pokemon, but many were just born for their roles.

First we have the innermost sections of the pantheon: the Origin Circle and the Rules of the Universe.

The Origin Circle is the innermost circle that includes The High God Arceus and Their favorite creations Palkia, Dialga, Giratina, and a fourth non-canon fic-specific individual. These gods are usually deemed the most important ones as they hold the fabric of reality together.

The orientation of Palkia and Dialga can change but they must be inline along Arceus AND Palkia must be closest to Rayquaza. Giratina is non-symmetrical on purpose. And Arceus must always be at the center of the entire pantheon circle.

The three gods that sit on the line of the Origin Circle are Rayquaza, Groudon, and Kyogre. I’ll get to them later.

The Rules of the Universe include everything within both triangles and the circles at their points. Let’s just call it the Triangle.

The inner triangle is connected at its points by the Lake Guardians: Uxie, Mesprit, and Azelf. They are the gods of consciousness and are just as important as the gods (excluding Arceus) within the Origin Circle.

The outer triangle is connected at its points by Regigigas, Ho-oh, and Lugia. The orientation of these points to the rest of the pantheon circle doesn’t really matter, but some orientations have more symbolic meaning than others (like Uxie being next to Regigigas for knowledgeable craftsmen).

Regigigas is the World Smith and one of the elder/father gods, older than even the Lake Guardians. It can make living bodies, but must work with the Lake Guadians to give those bodies minds of their own. The five gods connected immediately to it are the Legendary Giants, who do not have minds but are considered their own individual gods. Regidrago and Regieleki are younger than the other three Giants and are considered infant gods, their places on the circle are to the bottom left and right of Regigigas (the spots not symmetrical with the other two triangle point circles).

Lugia and Ho-oh are usually depicted making the base or the Triangle because they are the Guadians of All-Worldly Balance, or the yin and yang to Regigigas’ qi. The Legendary Birds answer to Lugia as gods of the seasons and the Legendary Beasts answer to Ho-oh as the gods of resurrection and cycles.

At the end of the day, the work these gods do is vital to the maintaining of the rules that dictate how the world works. They are the “rules of the universe.”

Now Rayquaza, Groudon, and Kyogre sit at the edge of the Origin Circle as ambassadors to Arceus, which are called the Courtly Champions. These champions oversee basically everyone else I haven’t mentioned yet. These three and the rest of the gods are part of what’s called the Heveanly Courts.

The Heavenly Courts are set in the pantheon circle between the aspects of the mind, meaning that the membership of each court is based on how well each God’s throne (the thing they’re god of) fits between each grouping of the Lake Guardians’ thrones. These gods largely act independent of any greater plans or prophecies because their service to their thrones is “unnecessary” compared to the vital work of the gods within the Triangle.

Rayquaza champions the combination of knowledge and willpower.

Groudon champions the combination of willpower and emotion.

And Kyogre champions the combination of knowledge and emotion.

The Heavenly Courts themselves have four ranks (five if you count infant gods as a separate group):

Courtly Champions

Worldly Boundaires

Foundational Principles

outer ring gods with no actual special title

infant gods (who also get no special title)

Worldly Boundaires are the six gods within but at the edge of the outermost circle. These gods are important enough in the pantheon circle to be too important to become Courtly Champions. Instead, their position marks the edge of what counts as godly and symbolically “encompass” the world within its boundaries and rules.

The gods with these roles are:

Mew

Zygarde

Jirachi

Necrozma

Celibi

Terapagos

The last group I’ll talk about are the Foundational Principles. These gods are often replaced based on their thrones and the changing of the exact meaning conveyed by their different combinations. Basically, which combination of gods will best describe one certain definition of combined knowledge and emotion, etc.

I’ll just list the current Principles and their thrones to show the current combinations:

Knowledge and Willpower:

Zekrom - the god of dragons, twins, and ideals

Reshiram - the god of dragons, twins, and truth

Pecharunt- the god of puppets, the god of wants and desires

Knowledge and Emotion:

Calyrex - the god of wise leaders and kings

Cresselia - the god of good dreams

Darkrai - god of bad dreams / nightmares

Willpower and Emotion:

Shaymin - the god of flowers and healing

Hoopa - the god of mischief and doorways

Enamorus (sometimes including all the forces of nature) - the god(s) of nature, the change of seasons, and natural disasters

The rest of the gods are all equal in standing but have more important thrones based on how you look at things. I won’t list them all out cause this is very long.

Thank you if you’ve read this far!!!