#it doesn't solve anything it doesn't help anything or anyone

[tiger-moran]

Well, you can have your opinion on this and I agree I suppose that a lot of people have misunderstood the terms going by the way they fling them around because they seem to be the latest 'buzzwords' in 'queer discourse' circles, but I don't agree that they're neutral terms and that they're no different to 'person with penis' or whatever. I think they are useless and often even actually harmful, and I've never yet seen anyone use the terms not in a bad way, and the idea that everyone can be split up into this neat binary and put in one category or the other is also inherently hugely flawed. It would be one thing if these were terms left for people to just apply to themselves but they're not, they're being foisted on people and always the terms are used to try create yet another gender binary people can just shove everyone under (except somehow cis people almost never seem to get included in the 'exempt' category. Funny that) or to deny that non binary people and trans men ever experience oppression and abuse or to deny either explicitly or essentially that non binary people even exist and basically reduce everyone down to their """birth sex""". It's just yet another way for people to be bigoted and hateful towards oppressed groups instead of targeting the actual sources of transphobia and sorry but this binarist nonsense trying to shove us all in one group or another hits non binary people especially hard often, and I'm sick to death of it. Time and time again people just slap the term 'TME' on entire groups of people as a way to dismiss, silence or invalidate them and there's no way that isn't causing a huge amount of harm to a lot of very vulnerable people, but also I've even seen people throw the term 'TMA' around also as a way to effectively silence people, even those very people they claim to be basically 'white knighting' for; all they're actually doing really is talking over that group, as if they know best about someone else's oppression.

On top of that, who's even 'exempt' anyway? As if people don't get mistaken for something else they're not all the time. But the people who use these terms just act like everyone can be neatly divided up into one category or the other when that isn't how the world works, that isn't how bigotry and hate works. I'm not saying that transmisogyny doesn't exist but a lot of that is basically transphobia + misogyny, a lot of other transphobia realistically is also actually transphobia + misogyny, so where exactly is the line drawn between them? And so many of the exact same forms of hate and abuse and oppression can hit trans people of all genders equally badly regardless of what gender the person throwing that shit at them believes them to be; that same shit can also get thrown at and cause harm to intersex people, even at some cis people. There is no clear dividing line between so much of the oppression and abuse and hatred that some people simply want to write off as only ever being capable of actually harming trans women, and there is so much overlap between the experiences of all trans people (as well as many intersex people and even some 'gender non-conforming' cis people) but that dichotomy just erases and ignores that and tries to create new divisions amongst people who should be (and generally still are) standing together. And overall it's the 'most oppressed ever/oppressor with every form of privilege and power possible' dichotomy shit with absolutely no room for any nuance that ultimately seems to stem from radfem bullshit just repackaged in a slightly different way, to make out everyone's either a victim or an Evil Oppressor essentially. Radfems love their 'delicate fragile women/evil oppressive abusers with every privilege possible AKA men' stuff so much and that stuff is seeping into the way a lot of people talk about other issues, even amongst people who think they hate radfems and have nothing in common with them. That may not be what people intended or how the terms were meant to be used but it's how it's ended up unfortunately, even if it's not manifesting in exactly the same ways. (Also people often are just flinging the terms at others based on how they look. Often they don't know that person's gender, they don't know what they were deemed to be at birth, they just look at them and decide whether they're 'TME' or 'TMA' based on looks.)

(I'm absolutely not blaming trans women for this by the way. I don't know or even particularly care who created or popularised these terms but I think ultimately this all stems from cis transphobes overall, people who hate and want rid of all of us, and way too much of this shit seems to come from cis people who believe they're 'trans allies' but seem to think they have some right to be the authority on the oppression and abuse experienced by trans people and then also conveniently seem to forget that cis people are the real and main source of transphobia and are the group most likely to be 'exempt' from transmisogyny. I've even seen cis people talking over trans women and attacking them when the trans women have tried to point out what's wrong with the terms. There are also too many trans men who love to fling the term TME about, not only towards themselves but at others, even people whose gender they don't know, because they seem to have bought into this idea that trans men are the evil ultimate oppressors, worse than cis men even, and that trans men experience no oppression ever and they start attacking anyone who tries to point out why they're wrong.)

I think a lot of people on here fundamentally misunderstand the TMA/TME dichotomy. TMA or TME isn't a label you are designated based on how you look, it's an identifier of the forms of oppression you face. It's no different to me that using terms like "person with a penis" or "person who can get pregnant."

Do some people use the terms in bad faith? Yes. People can use neutral terms in bad ways. If I say "all people with penises are horrible creeps who prey on others", that's clearly using a neutral term in a bad faith way to invoke a mental image based on a history of bigotry.

But that doesn't mean the term is inherently useless or bad.

[swamp-world]

like i think that we really really really need to actually gain the social literacy and compassion to understand that. not tipping your server isn’t praxis, but the fact that it’s expected that the customer pay the wage of the server also doesn’t mean that the customer (often also stiffed and a victim of wage theft) isn’t obligated to do so, and that while this is within our own economic system a great injustice and act of violence that needs to be rectified, it is in fact not the greatest injustice in the world and seeing people comparing getting screamed at for war crimes to not being tipped demonstrates a drastic lack of any sense of proportion. this is me speaking as both a service worker and someone engaged in organizing. let me be absolutely clear that I am not saying that not tipping your server is praxis. if you are able to tip i think that you should. i also think that “it’s the social contract in america to tip your server” needs to be read as “the structure has been built so that resisting it is tantamount to being a class traitor, and there are no winners in this situation”. i make less than 1k a month. tipping at 15% is straight up not viable all of the time if i want to pay rent. that’s not praxis, that’s me trying to keep a roof over my head, same as the service worker who i can’t always tip. so much analysis of this matter on social media tends to boil down to brute utilitarianism that causes further fragementation among the working class, and not for unjust reasons.

but just as not tipping my server isn’t praxis, tipping my server also isn’t praxis. not because it doesn’t help the individual (it does) but because it functionally validates the extant system in which the customer directly pays the wages. especially in the digital age: whereas cash tips are often considered nontaxable income, digital tips are administered as directly taxable income by the employer. when tips are paid out as wages i think it’s a little unfair to consider them to be “gratuities”.

again: not tipping isn’t praxis, but i wonder often about how many people who parrot this point are engaged in labour organizing or support in any way other than tipping. everyone deserves to be paid for their labour. but likewise, putting the onus on the working class customer to do so doesn’t actually help anyone except for the employer.

if you’re getting pissed at other working-class people for not tipping high numbers, especially impoverished and/or marginalized people, i hope that you are also engaged in literally any form at all, no matter how intense or dedicated, to any kind of action or organization that supports increasing minimum wage and shifting this responsibility from the customer to the employer (i.e. working class to owning class).

[coquelicoq]

i think the capitalisation is bc irish accents usually drop 't' sounds at the ends of words, so it's emphasising not just the word he's saying but also that he's pronouncing the letters themselves. for the 'a' sounds i think it's highlighting how his accent is slipping through, since irish accents tend to emphasise 'a' sounds more than/pronounce them noticeably differently to other accents :)

re this tag

i'm sure you're right. "i do not understand the capitalization in the transcription" was a really confusing thing for me to say, because i definitely did understand what the capitalization was doing, i just thought it was not helpful as a way to indicate anything about accent in the context of a transcription. i should have just not reblogged it (or reblogged it with my own transcription) instead of making a veiled slightly snide comment in the tags. doing that contributed nothing of value! so apologies for that. and thanks for bringing it up, because it's good to have the opportunity to reflect on what to do differently in the future <3

[chronomally]

A lot of people tend to have Wei Wuxian's trauma manifest itself as like depression or self-esteem issues in fan content, but I think he very clearly (doesn't) deal with his Shit™️ by pushing people away and/or running away

[fingertipsmp3]

I love knowingly making bad decisions

[shrimpybbq]

season 1 rafe with his gf & son

i have to be sooo truthful here in that rafe is like 90% the actual worst during the events of season 1 to high school gf!

he's still doing drugs and going to parties, never coming home until the early morning if at all

maybe he was on better terms with his gf for a while, but everyone on the island knows that the pair are always on-and-off

when they are good, rafe is surprisingly sweet to her. he's always opening doors and looking after their son so she can rest. rafe is so much more physically affectionate too during these times, with his hands always on her, stroking her hip or playing with her hair

and then when they fight, it's like all that goes away and he's back to ignoring her

she lives in the main house now as that's where their son's nursery is, but most of the time she's sleeping in the guest room after they argue

rafe's idea of family bonding is going to the country club, drinking his expensive whiskey and eating overpriced food. he likes seeing his son look around wide-eyed at the new sights and new people, and he enjoys having his son sit in his lap while he drinks, mumbling nonsense to see his little smile

he tries to take his son out golfing once only to realise that he couldn't be away from his mother for so long, much to his annoyance. it's fine though bc he's insisting they all go together next time - problem solved in his mind

rafe and high school gf! go to midsummer's together as each others dates. rafe wouldn't have let her go with anyone else anyway, but he likes the display of having her on his arm. he matches his suit to the floral design of her gown to make the statement even clearer (they have a child together and he's worried about people knowing she's his???)

he manages to hide a lot of the events that go on from his gf, but some of them still reach her ears courtesy of sarah, and he can't stand the disappointed look she gives him. sometimes though, he makes her sit down and listen to his explanation, trying to get her to see his side. he's so relieved when she nods and no longer looks at him in that way (but she still doesn't tell him he was right, he always notes)

when barry burns rafe, he's knocking on the door of the guest room with tears in his eyes, clutching his badly burnt arm to his chest. gf just looks at him wide-eyed, telling him to sit on her bed while she grabs the first aid kit. rafe can't help but let the tears stream down his face as she cleans, his head coming to rest on her shoulder as he sobs. that night is the first time he sleeps with her in the guest room, his head nuzzled into her chest as she cradles him

ok but if barry ever threatens his girl and kid rafe won't let it go. he's landing a punch on the drug dealer's face immediately, his rage spiking instantaneously. barry learns not to threaten them again after the second time he wore purple bruises on his chin

oh, sweet pretty gf has no idea what rafe has done to the sheriff, and he plans to keep it that way. he wanted to protect his dad, but he absolutely refuses to let anything happen to his own family. she's so shocked when he tells her of john b's actions, the boy having lived down the hall from them, and rafe plays into the role of protector again. he's got her in his arms as she cries about how he was around their son, and rafe just hums and tells her "i would never let someone hurt either of you, you know that right?". it warms his heart to see her nod into his chest.

sometimes his gf walks into the nursery only to see her son not in his crib, but she knows exactly where he is. pushing open rafe's door she sees the two of them in bed, her sweet baby cuddled up on rafe's bare chest as they both sleep. he needs to be with his son when he has a bad day, which seems to be more often than not nowadays

rafe is rapidly growing more mentally unwell and the only thing that seems to soothe him is his gf and son, and he spends as much time as he can with them. the little baby is always in his arms as he coos down at him, watching his kid's eyes brighten at the sight of his dada. rafe reasons with himself that everything he does is to protect his family and that he couldn't be wrong then, could he?

Click here for pre-season 1 rafe, gf & their unborn son

Click here for season 2 rafe, gf & their son

Click here for season 3 rafe, gf & their son

Click here for season 4 part 1 rafe, gf & their son

Click here for the 18 month gap before season 4 rafe, gf & their son

Oh this was a bit of a novel, but rafe truly has so many facets to explore, let alone once you give him a big motivator like a kid!

[cheeseceli]

When you struggle to eat

Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!reader (individually)

Genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, reactions

Request: reader thinking she eats "too much" and decides to eat way less for her body image, and how the skz boys would react to that.

Warnings: eating struggles will be discussed; reader has body image issues; mentions of food multiple times; use of petnames in Chan and Changbin's

Disclaimer: this was made with the purpose to comfort anyone who's going through a similar situation. If I made a mistake and made someone uncomfortable/aggravated the situation, please do tell me and I'll correct or delete this post immediately, whatever is preferred. Topics related to eating disorders will be discussed here, please don't read if that's something that triggers you.

Bang Chan - is ready to listen to all your worries

‌We all remember Chan's Room right?

‌He's ready to spend hours if needed just to understand what you're going through ‌and where your insecurities are coming from

‌At the same time, he will never judge you

‌So you know he's your safe place

Constantly checks up on you even if he's far away through texts and calls

And if there's someone who's aggravating the situation or making you insecure, you can bet he's gonna solve the situation himself

"Talk to me baby. What's going on in that mind of yours, hm?"

Lee Know - eats with you

Probably the first to realise something's off, considering food is almost his love language atp

Likes to have as many meals with you as possible

‌He usually makes a mountain of food in his plate, so you don't worry about the amount of food in yours

‌And he also runs errands with you

‌Especially those like buying food

‌You don't even gotta ask, he would be volunteering on the first opportunity

‌Also cooks for you, whatever you want

"Do you want to eat anything? I can cook"

Changbin - Hype man

‌Your personal hype man fr

‌Is ready to compliment you in absolutely everything

‌The best part is that you know that his compliments are always genuine

‌What do you mean you didn't like that trousers?? You looked fantastic in it! That shirt made you look even more gorgeous

‌He has known you for so long and still, he always finds something new to compliment you on

But even if after all the reassurance you want to change the way you look, he will be by your side to help you do it in a safe and healthy way

"You look perfect, baby. I promise. Actually, I still don't believe I managed to pull someone so beautiful like that"

Hyunjin - has all meals with you

‌And with that, I really mean all meals

‌Breakfast, lunch, dinner, you name it

‌Even if you can't really get out of your work place or your university, he's going there then

‌He just doesn't want you to be by yourself

‌He also always has something to say during those meals

‌News about their comeback, gossip at jyp, stories from his childhood...

He never fails to admire you a lot in those moments as well, never letting you forget how much he loves and appreciates you

‌He does that hoping it will distract you from the food, so you can be more at ease

"Have I ever told you about the time Kkami bit my ankle? I think I still have the scar."

Han - makes you feel beautiful

‌He truly doesn't understand how you don't think you're the most beautiful human being to ever set foot on this earth

‌In his eyes, you were born perfect

‌So, naturally, he makes it his mission to make you see yourself in his point of view

‌Compliments and adores you

‌Will make you feel beautiful, pretty, sexy, cute... Whatever you wanna be

‌Above all, he'll make you feel loved

"No matter what size, you'll always be my love. Don't forget that."

Felix - distracts you

‌With that, I mean that he tries to take your attention off food and body image related subjects

‌Before and after eating, he will always bring you along to activities where your mind can be turned off

‌So many fun dates!!

‌Even during the meals he'll have a similar idea to hyunjin and simply won't shut up

‌Most of his compliments don't involve around your body, so you really don't think about it

"I love this hairstyle of yours. It looks wonderful"

Seungmin - protects you

‌In a sense that no one even dares to comment on your looks/habits

Even if he isn't there with you

‌That because he made it very clear that everyone should watch their mouths around you

‌For as long as he's around you, he will do his best and more to protect you from harmful comment

Also tries to experiment a lot of different foods with you all the time, so you never feel like that's a burden or a bad thing

"Hey, have you heard about the new restaurant close to home? The food is peruvian. We could have dinner there tonight."

I.N - physically reassures you

‌He loves you and every single part of you, including your looks

I believe he was a bit lost in the beginning, not exactly sure on how to help you

‌But even if his words aren't exactly his biggest strength, he still wants to reassure you as much as he can

‌So he does that with his touch

‌Holding you on his lap, kissing all of your "imperfections" and tracing patterns in your skin

‌Anything that can ground, reassure and give you comfort at the same time

"Have I ever told you how perfect you are? I should tell you that more."

Masterlist | you'll probably like: when you're overworked (ateez comfort)

Thank you for reading<3 I hope this was able to help someone

» I won't put the taglist on this one as I don't want to tag anyone in something that can possibly trigger them «

Dividers by @/cafekitsune, images 1 2 3

Thank you so much for the beta readers: @duhgurl @beebee18 @applekiwi3202 @elqivxstxr @mrsunshine999 @msauthor

[pomefioredove]

hi!! could you pls do headcanons for the housewardens (+jamil) with a reader that stims? like if they get nervous or excited they do flappy hands! Gn reader, and the characters are crushing on reader but they’re not dating yet please! Thank you :>

:) of course! I stim so I get it LOL

summary: reader who stims! type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, jamil, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic for most, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu

Riddle already has a high "nonsense tolerance" when it comes to you

if you were anyone else, he would get overstimulated so fast

but, it's you

and he likes you

and he puts a lot more effort into making you comfortable around him than he would ever admit

so, by all means! fidget, stim, hum, he likes all of you

and if anyone else has a problem with it, they can go through him, first

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

if you can live with a little teasing, Leona can live with your stims

kidding

...kind of

he would never admit it to himself, but the way you get excited is kinda endearing to him

(major cuteness aggression)

so he just can't help teasing you a tiny bit for it

lovingly, of course

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Azul has an eye for detail and a love of figuring people out

and admiring observing you is one of his favorite pastimes!

he might need the information later

for... reasons.

he finds your mannerisms... interesting. your nervous ticks are so different from the other student's

then Floyd suggests you're obviously stimming; it just looks different "'cause you're on land and stuff,"

it makes sense (though he doesn't have to be so smug about it)

mystery solved

but Azul keeps staring at you, anyway. for... reasons.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

unsurprisingly, Kalim loves it

if he doesn't stim already, he might just start

it's a good way to let off some energy when he's overexcited, or calm him when he's nervous

(which happens more often than you'd think)

he would be baffled by the idea that people find it annoying

or weird, or childish

if he felt like someone was staring, or about to say something to you, he'd start stimming with you

power in numbers, right?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

surprisingly (or unsurprisingly?) Jamil doesn't really... care

at this point, he's dealt with everything

a nuclear bomb could go off and he probably wouldn't even react

that's a slow tuesday for him

it's only during the metaphorical nuclear fallout

(when he has that migraine he always gets)

that he'll ask you for quiet and space

and that's the very most he'll say about it

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil isn't ignorant

he's not going to punish you for something that you find helpful

...and Rook has his little quirks, too

besides, there's nothing you could do that he wouldn't find endearing

what he will do, however, is help you manage

to your comfort, of course

there's a drawer full of stim toys in the Pomefiore lounge probably

and if not, Rook probably has a doohickey or two that can keep your hands occupied during quiet/important/etc occasions

otherwise, you're free to do whatever

I'm gonna be so real tbh I see Pomefiore as a very disability-friendly dorm and I'll die on that hill

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Idia! the freak himself

(affectionate)

nah, he doesn't care

he probably has a ton of his own stims he's already super embarrassed about

so he's definitely not going to say anything to you

if anything, it makes him feel better about himself

it's cute when you do it

he starts 3D printing you toys he think you'll like, most that he designed himself

so, he does care, but... in a good way!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

LMAO okay. wait

between Lilia, Silver, and Sebek, there's no way Malleus would see stimming as anything but normal

Lilia probably starts crawling on the walls like a spider when he's excited

so hand-flapping is like aw... cute! :) to Malleus

he would, will, and has stared down anyone who makes a face or a nasty comment about it

so you can be sure that no one will ever say anything mean to you about it!

like, ever again

[kirkwallsquad]

favorite da2 battle lines in no particular order

i'm listening to a compilation by danaduchy on youtube rn so

literally every fenris line bcs everyone else is YELLING and he's just speaking in his regular quiet-ish voice. king what are you saying i can't HEAR YOU

except for when hawke goes down. THEN he's loudly upset.

"hawke's down! time to panic!" (isabela)

"the tame elf is down" (varric - what the fuck omg don't call fenris that)

"your pet elf has fallen" (carver - WHAT THE FUCK OMG DON'T CALL FENRIS THAT)

"that moody mage is down" (aveline)

"ugh, can someone pick up fenris please?" (merrill)

"isabela's on the ground... appropriately" (aveline - HELLO?!?!?!?)

"merrill! oh, blood mages are so dramatic" (isabela)

"aveline has fallen?" (fenris - why is this a question babe)

"they got whatshisname, the mage" (varric - i continue to believe he doesn't know anders' name until act 3)

"the dwarf has dropped a few more feet" (sebastian)

"dear varric, please learn to parry. love, your innards" (varric)

"do you have something for this, because it hurts" (carver)

"even my teeth hurt" (anders)

"i've got so many bruises now they've got names and families" (merrill)

"ugh, i have dirt in my mouth" (sebastian)

"you're going to let me walk around injured?" (carver)

"being close to death is very bad for my morale" (isabela)

sebastian describes his wounds as "oozing" or "seeping" more than once

"i know dalish are meant to be close to the earth, but we don't mean literally" (merrill)

"i'm alright, who needs kidneys anyway" (isabela)

"hawke. varric. i think this is bad." (merrill)

"stop being you and fix me up" (carver - BABY. BABY BROTHER.)

"that really gets the blood flowing" but also "i will fight and pray for forgiveness later" but also "this is much more exciting than the chantry!" (sebastian - what is wrong with you <3)

"my face is not a shield!" (hawke)

"and they say drinking doesn't solve anything" (isabela)

"haawke i can't mooove" (sebastian)

"i'm too far away, what do you want me to do? shout at them?" (isabela)

"i'd have to fly to reach! of course, i've always wanted to learn to fly" (merrill - she's literally the funniest person ever)

"alas, no" (fenris)

"my faith is my armor! my cause is my shield!" (sebastian)

"if we kill them, we get their stuff!" (isabela)

"andraste's knees, it's like herding cats!" (isabela)

"AFRAID YET?!" (anders)

"RUN! WHILE YOU CAN!" (anders - he's so loud i love him)

"another one for me! how many have you gotten, hawke?" (varric)

"ah. a shame that you're going to die, no?" (fenris)

"you. me. and an audience. that's what this is all about!" (carver)

"may the creators have mercy on you! i certainly won't." (merrill)

"destructive forces of nature, coming up!" (anders)

"suck on a fireball!" (anders)

"NEVER TAUNT A MAGE!!!" (anders)

"a thrust, now a parry" (fenris)

"i'm gonna taunt you in elvish now! durgen'len! aravel! vallaslin!" (merrill)

"hello, i'm merrill, and i'll be your distraction." (merrill)

"I'LL SHOW YOU WHY MAGES ARE FEARED!!!" (anders)

"maker please forgive your children" followed immediately by "DID YOU SEE THAT SHOT" (sebastian)

"WANT TO SEE WHAT'S UNDER THESE ROBES?!?!?!" (anders)

"I'M RIGHT HERE! HIT ME!" (isabela)

"maker, the idiocy" (bethany)

"MAKER BLESS YOUR CHILDREN IN THEIR HOUR OF NEEEED" (sebastian)

"my weapon does nothing??" (fenris - he sounds so puzzled help)

"this is SO not working" (anders)

"if the pointy sticks don't work, try the other pointy sticks" (isabela)

"ah, dear. why doesn't anyone ever want to be nice to us?" (merrill)

"is there an end to the people who hate you?" (aveline)

"looks like we've got a few more puppies to kick" (isabela - HELLO?!?)

"take a step, kill, repeat repeat repeat" (carver)

"the hate you inspire is unfortunate" (fenris)

"another twenty steps, another batch of deaths" (anders)

"nobody seems to like you. do you get used to that?" (merrill - ouch. brutal hskfjhgksdjfhg)

"i can't take credit for all of this. hawke helped a little bit" (isabela)

[tinydefector]

Starscream - Rut Cycle

Starscream x Human reader

Warnings: Smut, Porn, Giant/tiny, size difference, Mating cycles, Heat cycle, Oral, fingerings, penetration.

Word count: 2.7k

Wooooo finally got this piece done, I hope you all enjoy how snarky and pissy Starscream is but he's also not willing to ask anyone else for help with his issue.

Request are Open please read my pinned post for rules.

Masterlist and Rules

Rut cycle masterlist

Starscream Masterlist

_____________

 Both factions tried their best to avoid each other as much as possible with the many cybertronians. But it's the little human from earlier which catches Starscream's attention. They are peacefully unaware of his burning gaze on them despite the sweet scent that came from their smaller frame, making him nearly snarl with want. Had it been any other time his optics wouldn't even flicker on their frame, but the cybertronian rut had him eager to find a way to let off charge and the organic responsible for igniting such foreign urges within his circuits during the meeting is what he has set his gaze upon.

According to his studies of indigenous species during past orbital observations, he knew rut pheromones held little effect on humans, but they had a constant scent which seemed to almost enhance. It stimulated his circuits, even had his processor strained to restrain. His joints clenched hotly fans blasting full force to try and cool his frame as  hot air blasted from his vents as he musings of folding those smaller limbs beneath his bulk. 

 It was a ridiculous notion, of course. Yet denying base coding risked compromising not only his system functions and level-headed trine, his trine were already on edge within these crowded quarters.

The mech released another steady exvent. Violence wasn't going to solve anything during their rut, as much as Starscream despised cooperation with the Autobots, this truce was meant to benefit all where interests aligned. The Red and blue seeker stalks behind the human waiting for the best opportunity to snatch them up. 

said human look up when they hear the loud steps echoing from behind them, eyes widening almost in horror as Starscream wraps a servo around them before whisking them off into one of the empty offices of the Ark. Their cry falls silent when Starscream shoots them a glare, wiggling in his hold, until they eventually give up.  

Starscream's engine rumbled ominously as his smouldering optics fell upon the lone organic within his grasp. According to his analysis, their frame is rather suited for  interfacing, yes it carried risk mainly to their much smaller frame but due to increasing heat building up in Starscream's system he lacked the time to care. He needed an outlet, and the sweet pheromones teased his nasal systems made a rumble emit from his cockpit. 

“Cease your writhing.” he Grumbles while dropping them on the desk in a corner. “Remain cooperative and no harm shall befall you,” his low voice assured. Optics scaling  down their body as he inspects and finds that they would do. 

They let out a yelp as they are dropped on the table, looking up at him, taking a moment to try and scurry away only for Starscream to grab their leg and drag them back. They shout in shock before their body is still just laying on the table looking up at him. "What screamer do you want? Screamer! " their voice is shaky before the anger seeps throught into their words as they glare up at the seeker. 

Starscream's optics glowed with sadistic amusement as they futilely struggled in his grip. This one had spirit, while limited by its primitive form, offered finer entertainment than most of its inferior kind. He had to admit their frame was rather to his liking, For a fleshling. 

Starscream doesn't even answer before his helm leans down very close to their frame, taking a deep intake of their scent, letting it filter through his systems, another deep rumble leaves him as his digits begin clawing at their clothing. 

They nearly squeal as he leans in closer. "Stop! I'll scream and every Autobot in the Ark will storm in here!" They stammer out, it makes Starscream pause for a moment. optics narrowing as the small creature issued its threat. drawing unnecessary confrontation while in Autobot territory wasn't something he needed less so when his coding was sending him into full rut. 

Removing his face from against their body, Starscream purred disdainfully, "Your posturing amuses me. But alerting your beloved autobot protectors benefits neither of us." His talons idly traced nonthreatening patterns as charged energy lingered in his field. 

Their jaw clenches as they glare up at him, heaving in breaths. "What, do you want Starscream?" They try to sound menacing but due to the size difference they look more like an angry petroabit. Starscream cycled several intakes of air, fans whirring as the organic's enticing pheromones teased his sensors.

Leaning in close once more, Starscream rumbled in a deceptively soft tone, "You know full well what I Need, you were in the meeting i doubt you weren't ears dropping " the two go silent just staring at each other before Starscream continued, "Remain still and silent, I need you frame to sate my needs. Struggle, however, and I make no promises of no injuries." 

They flail, trying to slap his plating, hissing at him. "Have you lost your mind, what makes you think I'd even let a fucking Con touch Me!, you'd likely squish me after!" They shout at him while trying to wiggle out of his hold. "TRACKS!, BLASTER!" They try yelling. 

Starscream snarled as they fruitlessly struggled in his grasp. "Cease your pointless writhing," he spat. While interfacing carried certain risks across their disparate biology, gentler care could satisfy both parties, he wasn't past trying to satisfy them if it meant he could stable his systems. Releasing a steady ventilation, Starscream stated, "Calm your little processor and listen. Perhaps we can find an arrangement... mutually satisfying."

 They go quiet as they lay there in Starscream's servos. Their heart pounding in their chest as they listen to the whirl and pulse from Starscream's frame. "What kind of Arrangement?" They ask, a slight stutter in their voice. Starscream cycled air slowly through his vents as his optics met the organic's gaze.

"One whereby both parties leave in a state of satisfaction, with dignity intact. I'd rather have a willing participant, as much as I dislike your kind I'd be caught dead before interfacing with an Autobot, you help me with my Issue, you leave satisfied and we never speak of this again" he rumbled softly, fans whining as his body shutters as heat pours through his lines, 

 “ Your pheromones are sending my systems haywire, I need release” he grumbles hating the fact that he had to resort to almost begging for a rut partner. They shutter lightly debating the offer. The whines, clangs and mechanism in his frame screech and grind against each other with need. "Fine, I'll help you with your issue" they grumble lightly. Nearly yelping when Starscream begins discarding their clothing. "Jesus! Desperate much!" They snap at him.

Starscream's optics roll as he ignores their grumbled words. Discarding the shredded garments with efficiency, Starscream purred down at its now-exposed form, his digits traced teasing patterns against sensitive flesh as primitive biological functions betrayed the organic's own rising arousal, he could basically taste them. 

 Starscream rumbled smugly, watching as they squirmed under him. A shiver runs through their body as Starscream traces a digit down their body, watching the way they shift under his touch, the goose bumps that prickle their skin. A soft whine leaves them as he moves further down their frame. "God you're so snobby and up yourself" the human huff in annoyance. 

"Your pathetic frame betrays your prudish words, flesh creature," Starscream sneered, tracing his claws around areas already blossoming with coloured lines. Leaning in until his ex-vents teased their naked body, Starscream purred silkily, "Cease your mewling protests." His own circuits buzzed with building need.  

The human shutter as Starscream's digits move down to their thighs, teasingly tracing against their sex, they let out a slight moan only to gasp as Starscream leans down and watches the way they squirm under his rather gentle touch. "prick" they huff. Starscream's crimson optics glinted with a mix of disdain and hunger as the human's teasing gestures. They go to make another snarky remark only to nearly squeal as his glossa presses against their skin, dipping down to press against their entrance. 

With a snarky smirk playing on his lips, Starscream leaned down, relishing the sight of the human squirming under his touch. "Prick, am I? Well, you're not exactly my ideal choice of company either," Starscream retorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm and a hint of arousal. A feral hunger surges through him as his glossa pressed into them,  slowly dragging along their walls. 

Their skin tastes sweet like the Energon wine with crystals he loved so much from before the war. It makes the mech groan out in delight and he pulls them flush against his intake, indulging their sweet taste. Small gasps and whimpers leave them, their protest falls silent as Starscream works them open on his glossa. Starscream's optics narrowed at the human's withering frame, a snarky smirk playing on his lips as he continued to indulge in their sweetness. He speaks against their thighs "Oh, the audacity of you. Don't act like you're not enjoying every astrosecond of this," Starscream retorted.

With a predatory gleam in his optics, Starscream worked them open on his glossa, relishing in the way they squirmed and gasped under his ministrations. Despite the human's initial protest, their body betrayed their true desires, succumbing to the intoxicating allure of the Decepticon's touch. The sweet sound of their moans has Starscream contemplating sharing them with his Trine once the rut cycle is over. hes rather sure that the other two would enjoy their tight body as much as he was. 

As the collection of moans fall from their lips, their hips arch up into his intake. They refuse to call out his name. Even as he presses his glossa deeper into them, a deep purr rumbling from his frame. A small whimper leaves them and it makes Starscream rather smug over the situation. With a haughty tilt of his helm, Starscream pressed his glossa deeper into them, relishing in the small whimper that escaped their lips. Their defiance only fueled his desire to dominate. 

A loud moan falls from their lips as they throw a hand over their mouth, but it was too late now, Starscream had heard the moan. Despite their feeble attempt to stifle their sounds of pleasure. "No need to be shy now,” he taunted, his voice dripping with arrogance and amusement.

"Shut up" they grumble. Everything about the human has his systems surged with old coding, a need to take and claim them. Starscream's optics flashed with a mix of irritation and amusement as the human grumbled and pushed him away, attempting to assert some form of control over the situation. "Oh, touchy, are we now?" he retorted, his tone snarky and laced with impatience.

His modesty panel slides away as his Spike pressurises. His movements became deliberate and calculated. Running a digit down their thigh, savouring the contrast between the cold steel of his touch and the warmth of their skin. The choked mew that escaped the human only fueled his desire further, a smirk playing on his lips as he slowly pressed his digit into their tight opening, relishing in the sensation.

 he picks up pace of his thrusting his digit into them, admiring the way their smaller body eagerly takes it. As the human's eyes fell closed in a mix of pleasure and surrender, Starscream's movements became more assertive and dominant. Each thrust was calculated to elicit a response, his actions a blend of pleasure and power. "You're enjoying this more than you'd like to admit, aren't you?" he taunted, his voice laced with snark and condescension.

The human's moans increased in intensity, a symphony of desire that only fueled Starscream's own satisfaction. As Starscream retracts his digits he makes himself comfortable between their thighs, enjoying the mess he had made of them so far. Despite their fight before they seemed much more manageable and cooperative now. A loud gasp escapes them as his spike lays against their skin. Horror and fear flashes before their eyes.

Starscream couldn't help but chuckle at the sight before him, the human's initial resistance now giving way to a more compliant state. A loud gasp escaped the human as his spike laid against their thigh, a playful glint in his optics as he leaned in closer. "Oh, what's the matter, little one? Scared of a spike?" he taunted, his voice dripping with mockery and condescension.

"That's not going to fit" they state breathlessly as he slowly grinds against them. A soft whine leaves them as Starscream slowly rocks against them. He enjoys every second of it, the sweet scent from the human, the way their body responds to him so eagerly despite how much of a fight they have put up.

"Oh, you underestimate me," he taunted, he dragged the tip of his spike down to their entrance, Starscream revealed in the anticipation and control of the moment. Starscream's voice dripped with smug satisfaction as a loud gasp escaped the human upon feeling him slowly pressing his spike into them. With a loud groan and the static of Cybertronian leaving him, he firmly grasped their hips, keeping them steady as he worked his spike inside them. A smirk played on his lips as he relished in the moment.

"What was that about not fitting?" Starscream's taunting words filled their tight body, Whimpers, whines and moans fell from their lips as Starscream began picking up pace, enjoying how tight they felt around his spike, he hadn't interfaced with anything like this. And he was starting to see the appeal of such a soft and plush body. 

"Such delightful little sounds," he murmured, his voice laced with a newfound appreciation for the human's form. His optics flicker down to watcha s his spike slides into their tight hole, enjoying the wait their body almost moulds around his spike, relishing in the tightness and the softness that enveloped him, savouring every moment. 

They cling to him with each thrust, a symphony of moans leaving them. He continued to move with purpose, Starscream relished in the sounds of their shared pleasure, his coding singing in delight as his Spike swells locking them in place as he hunches over them, digits digging into the metal table and he snarls loudly. 

Starscream's frame trembled as the human's fingers dug into his plating, sending a shudder up his struts that resonated through his core. The intensity of their touch, combined with the overwhelming pleasure of how tight they are around his spike pushed Starscream into a feral state, his instincts taking over. 

He ruts his spike deeper into their smaller body as he overloads and coats their insides in a vibrant hue of fluorescent pink that pours out of their smaller body onto the table around them. His optics flicker down to watch the fluid drip and leak from the human's smaller frame, his optics darkening with a primal hunger. The sight of the shimmering pink fluid only fueled his desire further, his fans and vents blast hot air as they try to cool his systems. He doesn't move from his position taking time for his frame to reset and cool down from interfacing. 

The human lay under him in a panting mess, eyes closed trying to catch their breath in the aftermath of their coupling. "You're quite the pathetic sight, struggling to even breathe properly," Starscream remarked, his tone laced with a mix of irritation and amusement. They shoot him a glare before flipping him off. “Go fuck yourself” the huff out, chest heaving as sweat sticks to their skin.  

"You're lucky to have experienced such a moment with me. Cherish it, for it may be the closest you'll ever come to true power," Starscream's words dripped with condescension, a hint of sadistic pleasure colouring his voice. “go suck a spike” they grumble out trying to get the last word in over their argument. “I'd much rather feast on you” he rumbled, slowly pulling out, another flood of transfluid gushes out of their smaller body which makes them gasp and shutter. 

A smug satisfaction washes over Starscream before he drops back down between their tights. Glossa runs over their abused sex as he pulls them back to his intake. 

_________

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[lemonhemlock]

the reason why i don't think blood & cheese works without maelor is because it undermines the gravity of helaena's choice

in the books, as we all know, she has to choose which son to sacrifice. blood & cheese are going to kill one either way, so, whatever happens, if you want to get cynical about it, aegon will still be left with a male heir of his body. no, the horribleness of the choice lies not really in dynastic matters, but in basic humanity: which of your children are you willing to condemn to death? and helaena truly does try to make the best out of a bad situation, she picks not because she loves jaehaerys more, but because maelor is so tiny that she hopes he won't understand what's going to happen to him.

and she absolutely has to choose, because b&c threaten to rape her daughter if she doesn't. it's psychological torture. b&c just want to fuck her up in the head as much as possible and helaena tries her goddamnest to minimize the harm done to her family. to further compound on the tragedy, b&c kill the opposite child, so now she has to live out the rest of her days knowing that the son left alive is the son SHE herself marked for the axe. which is what understandably drives her to lose her mind

now, in the show, the "problem" blood & cheese have doesn't exist at all: that they can't supposedly tell the twins apart. but (as awful as it sounds, since it involves sexual assault) they could very easily check which child has male genitalia and be done with it. it's a "problem" that takes literal seconds to solve. they don't need helaena at all! it becomes irrelevant which child she points towards - b&c can always just check! she can't save jaehaerys in this situation no matter what she does, because b&c were never interested in jaehaera in the first place. in the books, she has the ability to save one child and this exact horrible "agency" bestowed on her torments her for the rest of her days. in the show, even had she pointed towards jaehaera, it would have been a narrative plot hole for the writers to have killed her without checking

likewise, in the books, she begs them to kill her instead, but, in the show, she offers them a necklace? you can't deny that the dramatic stakes are lowered substantially by making that change. which one of these options would have been more filled with pathos? personally, it just feels like this was phia's moment to shine and, while she did a good job with what she had, every narrative choice was somehow made to subdue this horrible event and left her only crumbs to work with. cinematically-speaking, this scene (as it was executed) does not even come close to the iconic moments that cemented GoT into the collective consciousness, which is very strange, as the subject matter is anything but mediocre

and that's not even getting into the rest of the plot holes that others have already pointed out, like:

- why are there no guards at helaena's door or anywhere else for that matter? not just on that hallway, but on many other hallways, she has to run quite a lot to get to alicent's chambers

- why is her room unlocked at the very least

- why is ALICENT's room unlocked, for that matter? she is having secret guilty sex with criston and she forgets to lock her door in a castle full of spies? anyone could have walked in

- not even getting into this whole thing just being one huge misunderstanding + minimizing daemon's and mysaria's roles :))

- NOT EVEN mentioning removing the trauma of alicent witnessing all of this, gagged and bound on her own bed, not being able to help or intervene in any way

i can understand the likelihood of these elements happening sometimes (maybe someone does forget to lock their door from time to time, maybe a guard does shirk their duties from time to time), but you can't write all of them at once without it turning all looney tunes. if you introduce too many aspects that defy logic in your story, it ceases to be believable and just becomes bad writing

___________________________________________

also, "they killed <the boy>"? not "my son" or "jaehaerys"? it sounds so removed, don't you think? helaena out there on her mother's floor dropping exposition for the audience 🥲

[universalitgirlsblog2]

💗🍓SHE IS A MYSTERY💗🍓

🍓BEING MYSTERIOUS IS MESMERIZING ✨️

💗People should feel that they are lucky to get to know you. It should be a luxury to know you. That's how you should act. Be very picky when it comes to sharing private things with people. People can manipulate you to get what they want if you share too much . When you over-share you can often embarass and make a fool out of yourself. Make people work hard to get to know you.

🍓We may over-share to seek validation. If we feel fulfilled and trust ourselves , we won't over-share. If you feel fulfilled , you won't feel the need to be fearful or over-share.

💗I watched a video by Kelly stamps about over-sharing, she said " don't be yourself guys, lie a little bit ." I agree , when I wouldn't share too much with others, talk about random stuff , I felt that I was being " fake " and not connecting with people . Later , I realized that I am not being fake but protecting myself. We need to AWARE and CAREFUL when it comes to sharing anything about ourselves with anyone. When I solved my problems on my own , I didn't seek advice from anyone , I noticed that I became confident too.

🍓Over-sharing can get you into trouble too , those words can get twisted against you. Sometimes we may over-share because you have this belief that the only way to connect with someone is by giving yourself away so much that they think they know everything about you. Find a balance where you share things with people , not over-share.

💗Sometimes people are being kind, it doesn't mean that they are your friends. If someone is being friendly, it doesn't mean they are your friends. Understand the difference. Sometimes you may confide in people because they seem friendly but being friendly doesn't make them trustworthy.

🍓There are certain people for certain topics. Share intimate things with your inner circle. If you don't have a inner circle , then journal.

💗People should think that they know you but in reality, they don't know anything about you. Talk about your interests and allow them to talk about their interests but don't share anything that can get you into trouble.

🍓You must have heard about this quote , " Show , don't tell " the quote is very real. Evil eye does exist. Of course , it's okay if you don't believe in it. Show your goals , don't tell others about your goals. People can often get jealous , they can use it against you. Sometimes if you tell others about your goals, they may demotivate you by imposing their limiting beliefs on you. Don't talk about your plans , show them your results. Immature exposure of one's intention often brings failure in it's trail.

💗The benefits of being Mysterious ( credits to Alessia / Persephonesmind)

Your security will increase so much more .

People will value you more.

🍓To be honest , don't fully trust your friends , there are certain secrets in one's life which should never be discussed with anyone , even with your best friend who might embarrass you by exposing them in a fit of rage. Also see this post - click me

💗Advice by Song Jia

🍓More advice by Persephonesmind

🍓💗✨️Stay a mystery , it's better . I hope this post helped you !!YOU GO GIRL! 💗✨️

[wannaeatramyeon]

Lookism guys comforting YOU

G/N hc feat all my blorbos. Jakey, Sammy, Goo, Gun, Vin, Ryuhei

You're stressed and upset. Overwhelmed. Day gone from bad to worse and you're seeking comfort-

Jake comes in with the jokes, makes you laugh even when you want to cry.

Wipes away your tears with careful fingers, yourself not even sure if they're from laughter or distress.

He does pick his moments though, and knows when to put a serious face on.

When you're too upset and it's not the right mood, he'll pull you into his lap, envelop you with his arms.

Tells you how amazing you are, how precious to him, how much better you make his life. Until little by little, you start to feel more like yourself.

Samuel holds you steady against him.

Lets you sniffle into his expensive shirts, breathing shaky breaths against his skin.

Offers you something to blow off steam. One of his vices: drink or nicotine or maybe violent retribution.

Or even something pretty and expensive and sparkling, to take your mind off it.

If you opt for none, he'll sigh and hold you close. His nose nestled in your hair, your head resting on his chest.

He's a busy man with things to do, but you always come first. He'll be there for you for as long as you need.

Goo is outraged at whatever has pissed you off or upset you.

Takes it as a personal slight, whether it is someone making you cry, school stressing you out, job not going well or anything in between.

How dare they do this to you.

Bad mouths whatever has pissed you off so much that even you're feeling a bit bad for them.

Eventually tries to buy your happiness, or tests the water to see if it's something casual arson or grievous bodily harm may solve.

When it's none of the above, he just says your name with a soft sigh. Cups your face, peppering you in kisses until he sees your smile again.

Gun sits and listens to whatever is on your mind.

He's great at it, never showing any impatience. Quietly taking in everything you're saying.

Gives hums of encouragement, nods every now and then to urge you to continue.

Gaze focused and attentive, never glazing over or drifting away.

At the end, when you're finishing sniffling into his shoulder, he asks how he can help.

With your hand in his, thumb running over your knuckles, sweetly offers to kill anyone you like... It's not a joke.

He himself feels a pang of disappointment when you turn him down.

Vin pokes fun at you, initially.

Defaulting to his mean self even where you're concerned and especially when he's feeling uncomfortable.

At your wet eyes and downtrodden expression, he feels bad. Awful actually.

Changes tact and puts his arm around you. Gently directs your head to his shoulder and calls you an idiot for crying.

Rubs your arm soothingly regardless. Pats your head awkwardly but makes up for it with kisses to your forehead.

Asks what or who has done this and silently vows to make them puke blood all night.

Ryuhei immediately reaches for his weapon, asking "who did this to you?!"

He has promised to never make you cry or upset but that doesn't mean someone else can!

When you say no, he offers to take your mind off things in other ways. Specifically in bed-

Again you say no but he drags you to bed anyway.

"No funny business," he promises and you lie down.

Curls up behind you, wrapping you in his protective embrace.

Whispers in his native language to you, soothing and like a lullaby.

[suiana]

@yandere-romanticaa (aaand @harmonysanreads) i have an idea for yandere jingyuan 🤑🎀

imagine being his old lover that passed on because you were a short life species. you two loved each other dearly, at least from his point of view. so when you died, he was absolutely devastated, feeling empty even though he didn't show it on his face. he's the general of the luofu after all!

he didn't try moving on. why even bother? he knows it will never work, he'll never move on. you were everything and anything he needed. so he just leaves the house you two once shared in it's old condition, pretending you're still alive and by his side, talking to an empty house.

but then one particularly boring day, you reappeared, and with the astral express no less! he was flabbergasted, wide eyed and left stunned when he saw your familiar face walk the streets of the luofu, smiling like nothing was wrong. like you didn't take his heart and left him empty on the inside.

he couldn't even do anything, couldn't even muster up a simple 'hi' because of how shocked he was with your sudden reemergence. you... reincarnated? and now you're traveling with the express now? he didn't know how to feel.

but what he did know was that he had to get you back. of course he did! you belonged to him after all. thankfully he's now more mature, more experienced. he won't make the same mistakes he did when he was younger. no, he really doesn't want to have to restrain you again. he hates seeing you cry and yell at him, you know?

so when you and the astral express approached him to help the luofu for its crisis or something he acted like how he'd treat anyone else. acted approachable, like an easy going man who wouldn't dare think of anything as nasty as kidnapping or murder. he's grown more patient and knows how to hold back now in the time he's spent without you. even if he really wants to tear out that person's eyes for even glancing at you... he knows it'll scare you away and tear down the perception of him that he so carefully built up for you. so he held back. simply laughed and smiled at you as you told him about the people who confessed to you. oh well, at least he got to see your flushed cheeks and the way you grow flustered.

i mean, that smile he always has is just way too deceptive! anyone would think he's just a lazy and kind general! and maybe even get flustered because of his charming actions!

unfortunately you got charmed.

you fell for his charms, as he expected, and even told your express buddies that you'd settle down in the luofu after you solved the luofu's crisis with them. jingyuan couldn't be happier. ah, so your love for him carried on into the next life too? he just can't help but have a smug smile on his face once you confess to him.

it's even worse when he finds out your lifespan is longer than what it used to be. maybe even as long as a xianzhou native's? he's glad the aeons have decided to reward him for his dedication to you. he really can't bear losing you once more.

he gets the house prepared for your return, all innocent and sweet as he leads you back to your forever home that you used to fight so hard to leave. but don't worry! it's all for your own good! and he won't have to restrain you this time because he got your approval of love before making any moves.

all you have to do now is love him for the rest of your lives. that's simple enough right? he'll do all the hard work, all you need to do is welcome him home with open arms and a sweet smile on your face.

all you need to do is love. him. back.

and now you've also got a son (yanqing) to take care of! why would you ever leave him? you don't want him to get all sad now, would you?

[mad-hunts]

while jervis spoke, barton looked into the crevices of his nails as if they were the most interesting thing in the world all of a sudden. he had to admit that the man beside him had a point. though as the other described to him what he'd done to marty in detail, reminding him of the horror, he didn't feel anything. and barton was hopelessly unable to place himself in jervis's shoes to even feel an scintilla of the remorse seeping into his words now; so, whenever he was done, barton only said this, ❝ touché. i didn't exactly grant him the mercy of a quick, or a painless death, did i? i wonder what the forensic examiners are going to make of it. do you think they're going to focus more on how you killed your guy, or how i killed mine? ❞

and now he was talking about the murder with an almost amused undertone to his voice. so much for being shocked by the revelation that jervis had synesthesia, i suppose. barton looked at the other where he sat with a raised eyebrow as if he didn't understand why he was agonizing over their death's as much as he was. which was sort of true, though he could feel cognitive empathy towards jervis over what he had to experience in that van. the same dead-eyed look that sometimes took over barton's eyes seemed to be in effect once more while he scoffed lightly, ❝ you are incredibly pissy when you're feeling guilty, you know that? just imagine the guard you killed was someone you hate. then, you won't feel half as bad about it. trust me. and i think i got it the first time you explained it to me, smartass. ❞

barton was slipping between acting more like his ' normal ' persona and like the dollmaker now, it seemed, as his newfound small amount of respect for jervis dwindled away for a moment. perhaps it was because his head was starting to feel 'fuzzy' again? barton didn't know, but he was able to tolerate the pain he felt when taking a breath from his ribs before. though now it was searing. letting out a frustrated noise underneath his breath, barton rested his head halfway down his arm while he checked something. he pressed down on specific ribs while he spoke to jervis, ❝ oh, please. only an idiot would regard you as weak because you have synesthesia. it just makes you more unpredictable. ❞

before long, he'd found what he thought he would and that was a specific tender spot on one rib that made him swear unintelligibly in french. ❝ non, non. pourquoi est-ce que ça doit m'arriver, * ❞ barton stated just barely above a whisper to himself while the other started to talk about his experience in arkham and about gotham itself. ❝ uhh, yeah. i obviously do believe in hell, because i'm living through it right now. i'm about 90% sure i've got a popped rib. but whatever you say. if you weren't trying to do it, then i believe you. and ravi likes me because i was introduced to him by my late fiancée. as for matilda, it's — much more complicated than that. she's my daughter. ❞ that word, along with fiancée, was said with a surprising amount of tenderness. barton looked down at his curry with a bittersweet smile on his face.

❝ when she was born, it was like nothing else mattered. i would do most anything for her, ❞ barton sounded like he meant every word too. then, ravi was coming out with jervis's soup and as he placed it down in front of him, he laughed as he held one hand behind his back, ❝ sorry for the wait, jervis. the chefs were running around like chickens with their heads cut off after i asked if they could make something new and special for someone here. not naming names, but ahh... what the hell. it's you, ❞ ravi placed a glass of falooda, which was an ice cream dessert, in front of barton and his demeanor seemed to change completely.

barton was positively beaming now at ravi. ❝ and they've got one cooking for you too, jervis. i'll bring it out when it's ready, ❞ ravi winked at jervis before leaving, and barton clasped his hands together in front of himself. he closed his eyes in contentment like a cat then and tilted his head, all while sighing dreamily, ❝ oh, i change my mind. i'm not going through hell anymore. ❞

[ translation: no, no. why does this have to happen to me? ]

"And when, pray tell, would've been a good moment for me to bring it up? Both occasions we've met, things have been rather tense, wouldn't you say so? Hmmm.... Should I have said something as you were working, or as I was feeling like the veins in my own eyes were bursting as Marty developed petechiae and eventually lost control of his bladder while you were crushing his trachea? Or when I picked the lock to regain my property, and was dispatching the driver... how'd you put it, 'turning him into a pincushion'?" Guilt filled his mouth, sour as curdling milk.

Jervis' finger grazed idly along his own throat as Barton coughed and sputtered on the vodka. As he felt his own windpipe spasm, his eyes flickered pointedly towards his messenger bag; left hand drawing back to his coat, ostensibly adjusting it from where it was draped over the back of his chair, when he was really clandestinely checking that Alice's rabbit remained tucked away in the pocket. "You're absolutely right, what a foolish oversight it was of me not to disclose it."

He sighed, shifted his weight. "The same reason you so adamantly refuse anyone's pity. Because I've made my peace with it. And to have other people make generalizations or false equivalences -- whether out of genuine naivete, or ignorance, or deliberate crassness -- or to view me as some sort of freak? 'A fragile little teacup'? Well... that's a bitter pill I've long grown accustomed to. And how can you expect me to judge you for your actions today, when I know full well what horrors reside in Arkham's bowels? I didn't first get acquainted with the place after becoming... this. Deep sleep therapy. ECT. Stretches of time where I was shuffled between the white room and the isolation tank, most recently. That's all that I can concretely remember, but I'm sure there were other things..."

Jervis let the question hang in the air, not expecting or particularly interested in receiving an answer. Instead, he removed his glasses; flicked one of their metal legs back and forth between his thumb and forefinger. An improvised metronome, timing his breathing; something else to focus on, though with the cannabis, the motion seemed a hair slower than what it actually was. Tick. Tack. Tick.

"There's something about this city... If there's a hell -- if you believe in that sort of thing, anyway -- we're both pretty much already there. But even the worst person has their virtues, so regardless of my dislike of you, I'm not claiming to know everything about your background or your experiences, nor am I meaning to speculate; merely describing what I've already seen from you... and for whatever reason, Ravi does genuinely seem to like you, as did the girl I heard at your workshop, else you wouldn't keep company... Matilda, wasn't it?"

An innocent gleam of curiosity shone in Jervis' eyes, then, though he hoped he could disguise whatever vulnerability he may be unconsciously displaying as a trick of the light or a side effect of the weed. Curiosity, and a touch of sadness. She didn't sound much younger than Alice.

But that train of thought was soon cut off, as the doors swung open, and Ravi's silhouette entered Jervis' periphery. Ahh, it seemed the soup was ready. And just in time; he was famished.

[byeuijoo]

argument 𐀔 boynextdoor

genre : angst ⋆ warnings : angst, crying in jaehyun's, yelling ⋆ word count : 1,1k

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⭒ park sungho

during : when he argues with you, sungho often acts surprised and indignant at your words. why are you blaming him for things when he's always trying to do the best for both of you? he hates to hear you raise your voice, so he tries to play dumb thinking you'll get rid of some of your anger, in vain. then he ends up getting angry too, saying that you're talking nonsense and that he doesn't agree with you at all, so he ends up going out for a breath of fresh air because he doesn't want to get too carried away and risk saying things he might regret.

after : when he gets home, it's already pitch dark outside and bedtime is just around the corner. but sungho flatly refuses to go to bed with you pissed off, so he often comes and snuggles up to you on the sofa, while you watch tv to keep your mind occupied. and like two responsible adults, you calmly explain and apologize for each other's behavior. you for getting angry over almost nothing and raising your voice, and him for going out for a long time worrying you, and for not taking you seriously at first. in the end, falling asleep in front of the tv, snuggled up together.

⭒ lee riwoo

during : baby doesn't know how to react, what to say or what to do. so he often looks at you trying to understand the situation, and the fact that he acts as if he doesn't understand anything makes you even angrier. so he ends up hearing your words and defending himself by trying to combat your arguments with his own, except that he raises his voice, which makes you raise your voice too. all this often ends up with you in one corner of the sofa, and him in the other, turning his back on you without anyone saying another word until the night.

after : unlike sungho, when it's time to go to sleep but the problems still haven't been solved, you often go to bed angry at each other. in reality you're no longer angry, just sad, but your pride is preventing you both from taking the first step towards each other. so you go to bed first, followed by riwoo, who falls asleep away from you instead of clinging to your waist as usual. and when the morning comes, the argument seems to be over and you don't plan to talk about it again later. life returns to normal.

⭒ myung jaehyun

during : the arguments between you and jaehyun are often the same — either out of jealousy or because you miss each other. and the problem is that you don't know how to do it without shouting at each other, because you're both tired. so when you look into each other's eyes, ready to cry like children, all you do is scream and blame each other, arguing which of the two is more at fault. you often end up going your separate ways, you locking yourself in the bathroom, and he slamming the bedroom door, both crying silently.

after : after a very long time recovering from your emotions, neither of you dare approach the other. nonetheless, you're often the first to come out of hiding, busying yourself here and there doing the housework or cooking the meal. then, jaehyun finally comes out and silently starts helping you with the chores to apologize without using words. and you can't resist the warmth of his arms and his eyes sparkling with remorse. “i'm sorry..” he says to you in a small voice, almost too fragile to be used, and you give in because you don't want to stay angry with him for too long.

⭒ han taesan

during : he often spends most of his time listening to you get upset without saying anything, because he already starts to overthink the first second of your argument. he can be stressed over little things and easily feel guilty, especially when reproaches come from someone he hold in high esteem. so he listens to you, shakes his head and goes off to the bedroom to think about everything you've told him. he needs time alone to reflect and understand what he's done wrong, and what he can do to make up for it. but he won't get mad at you.

after : after a long hour of reflection, when you see that he doesn't come out of his room, you often end up going to see him to apologize. deep down you know that getting upset is pointless, and that's why you feel guilty. and barely a second after the door opens, taesan has already pulled you into his arms, apologizing and telling you he's going to try harder to be a better boyfriend. and you assure him that you won't get mad at him again just because you've had a bad day.

⭒ kim leehan

during : he often remains silent and only speaks up when he feels it's necessary, but won't hesitate to go against what you say if it's not true. he can hear all the reproaches you want to make, as long as they're justified and you don't exceed a certain limit. but he doesn't like conflict, so he'll do anything to avoid it, even if it means not talking to you for a while.

after : after you've isolated yourself for a while and he senses that your anger has subsided, he thinks he can finally explain things calmly to you. so he approaches the bedroom, knocks a few times on the door before entering and approaching you. most of the time, he waits for you to speak, but sometimes he starts to speak first, pointing out things he doesn't think are right, and explains his point of view, and you discuss it calmly together, finding solutions to problems together.

⭒ kim woonhak

during : arguments with woonhak are often explosive because you're both pretty loud. woonhak has trouble managing his emotions and tends to lose his temper quickly. so when you start arguing, he's often the first to raise his voice — and usually his words go beyond his thoughts, but he realizes it too late. he wants to be right at all costs, so he pushes you to the limit so that you give up.

after : after you've both calmed down, he's usually the first to apologize. mostly because he was the first to yell, and because he said hurtful things he should never have let slip out of his mouth. so he approaches you, wrapping his arms around your waist and hiding his head against your back because he's too ashamed to look at you, then he murmurs countless excuses until you break down and take him in your arms.

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