#it breaks like a toaster too
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wyyrmwood · 28 days ago
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Started seeing cybertrucks (specifically one that has black paint on it) in real life recently and it cracks me up because they really REALLY look like my black and decker toaster
Looks like this to me:
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milflewis · 2 years ago
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went to go reread this fic i love and can’t find it. i think it’s been removed from ao3 :(
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hon3y-y · 7 months ago
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NUH UH roomate!sukuna had his thot era, it's time for reader to have hers!!! And he's gonna sit there and WATCH it- payback baby. I wanted reader to fuck satoru, suguru, kento, choso, even fucking hiromi- she gonna get it ALLLLLLL before sukuna can even get a taste 😤
cw: noncon filming!
pt 1: here<3 pt3: here<3 pt4: here<3
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omfg he would be soooo pissed💀
picture this;
The morning after everything happened, Sukuna was more than ready to make it official with you. He had already planned how he was going to seduce you. He got up early to hit the gym before you even woke up, so when you were finally awake, you would see him all jacked up and sweaty. It literally had his stomach fluttering with excitement at just how fast he knew you'd fold. 
Well, easier said than done, because when he does get home and hear someone in the kitchen, it's not you cutely rubbing your sleepy eyes in nothing but a baggy shirt. Instead, it’s that white-haired freak from last night. 
He literally rolls his eyes, ignoring the greeting the guy sends and telling him to “get the fuck out” to which Satoru just laughs, takes his toast (which he made in Sukuna’s toaster, by the way), and exits the kitchen while taking a bite. Sukuna goes to your room door but is stopped by the obnoxious blond.
“She left, said she was going to see a friend.”
“Why are you still here?”
Satoru shrugs before grabbing the shirt he had thrown onto the couch the previous night and waving goodbye, crumbs from the toast he was eating still on his lips, before the door slams shut. 
Ryomen was floored. Were you two officials? Is that why you finally brought someone home? He couldn’t deny the pinch in his chest, but he shoved it aside. I mean, he would happily break up a home, so even if this was your stupid boyfriend, it wouldn’t dampen anything. He doesn’t mind a little competition. 
At least, that’s what he thinks it’s going to be. Since that night, both of your schedules had been too complicated, and you two had only seen each other in passing. But tonight, he knew you would both be off and it’s the weekend, so he knows you at least don’t have anything till midday. 
You return late, and you are absolutely not alone.
You’re with another guy, some blond man who looks a little too pristine to be found at the club (who he later finds out is kento from your whimpered of “kento! Oh fuck—yes! right there!”).
You don’t even notice that Sukuna's door is wide open and instead stumble straight into your own. and Ryomen is jaw-dropped, shocked. 
He begins to feel like a cuck; all he does is listen to you fuck this random selection of men you’ve created within these recent couple of weeks and fuck his fist stupid. It’s so embarrassing to feel like a hormonal teenager who can’t get a grip. but he can’t stop; he just remembers what you look like under Satoru. 
Night after night, all weekend long, you’re bringing home someone new. although after a while it’s just the same three guys. the annoying blond, Kento (or “the businessman”), and some random boy named "choso,” who he walked in on you giving a blow job to.
You stopped immediately, so embarrassed and shy, as if you didn’t just have this guy with his eyes rolled back, nearly crying every time you gagged on him. Choso, on the other hand, looked too fucked out to care about the third person in the room. 
Sukuna was so hard and horny all the time, and his interest in finding someone to handle it was useless. He wanted you, not some random girl. He even bought a fleshlight for the first time, needing something other than his hand to hump. 
One night, he returned late and heard the sweet noises of your mewls (again, it was starting to feel like a routine). He tried to quietly pass your door, but stopped short. three voices?
He almost couldn't believe it, but after cracking your door open, there you were. You were jerking Satoru off, his white hair sticking to his damp forehead, while this guy with long black hair was pounding into you. One of his hands wrapped around your throat while the other played with your clit, your body jerking at the intensity of stimulation. Satoru played with your swollen nipples, pinching and leaning down to suck them. 
Sukuna can’t help but pull his phone out and record it, going back to his room and rutting into his fleshlight until his cock is raw. the video on a constant loop because he was so fucking addicted. You looked so good. so pretty, and pliant under them. He wanted, no, needed to have you.
You lay in bed, absolutely exhausted after Suguru and Satoru left. You still can’t deny the effect Sukuna has on you, but since you’ve started having hookups, you haven’t even tried to listen to what Ryo does (not that you could’ve or noticed, clearly. he’s been on a dry spell). While you sleep peacefully, snuggled into your warm comforter, Sukuna lies awake, extremely frustrated.
he’s sooo down bad://
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tteokdoroki · 1 year ago
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☆༉ — KATSUKI BAKUGOU. compression shirts & sweatpants.
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about. hello u guys wanted me to finish this so i did lol !!!! i just can’t get the idea of him in compression shirts out of my mind ok enjoy !! <3
warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact. suggestive, making out, hickies, dry humping, bakugou being a huge tease, gn!reader, pro hero!bakugou.
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“do you get off on this? dressing like a slut?”
after pushing his bread down into the toaster, bakugou stops mid-sip, his signature red riot coffee mug about a quarter of an inch away from the pink and plush curve of his lips. he looks over to you as if he’s an animal that’s been caught doing something it’s not supposed to. a deer in headlights if you will.
“hah?”
you clench your fists, the foulest pout you can muster spread thinly over your features like a veil, as a petulant huff escapes you. you pretend to be mad at the man for as long as you can, turning your head away from him with your arms crossed over your chest. but you can’t help it. you can’t fight it… your gaze trailing back over to him at a snail’s pace.
katsuki bakugou looks like a fucking god.
not only does the stupid black compression shirt he’s wearing highlight the slender accent of his hips and itty bitty waist — but it clings to every muscle in bakugou’s marble-carved body. you can see every bulge of his biceps and ripple in his backs, even down to his washboard abs. honestly, you count your lucky stars every day that you managed to sink your fangs into the blonde before anyone else did, claiming him as your own. you might have even thrown up if anyone got to see him lounging about the place in grey sweats the way you did, the material just barely sitting on his hips.
you have to swipe at your mouth to stop yourself from drooling when he puts his mug down and lifts an arm up high to put the coffee granules back in the cupboard — his shirt riding up just enough for you to get a good look at a slither if his his sun-kissed, diamond cut v-line and waistband of his boxers too. it’s like the guy is purposefully trying to kill you.
just the very sight of katsuki like this, probably fresh from his work out, has you in a shambles — breaking out into hot sweats, panting like a dog. someone might even think you’re sick.
katsuki pays your little tantrum no mind, crossing his arms and leaning his hip against the kitchen counter while he waits for you to finish.
“you look so good.” you relent eventually, shoulders sagging.
shaking his head in a fond manner, the blonde rolls his ruby framed eyes. “no, you look good.” katsuki coos amusedly, arms opening wide for you as you pad further into the kitchen to snuggle against his chest. although he’s taunting you and you’re playing right into his game, you will always love that katsuki finds little ways to compliment you and make you feel adored — you feel it as he presses the wisps of a kiss into the crown of your head. “you always do.”
“it’s not fair that you get to go around like this! wearing that and making me feel all—!” you wave your hands about eccentrically, a heated frustration burning at your nerve endings as you screech your feelings out.
bakugou smiles to himself, sexy and slow, barely jumping when his toast pops out of the toaster. he grabs it, holds the corner of his food between his rows of pearly white teeth and spins your positions so that he traps you against the kitchen counter. “gonna need some context, babe.” you think that he’s going to touch you but instead reaches behind you to grab at his coffee.
freaking tease.
it’s impossible to think clearly when your boyfriend is this close — his intoxicating musky scent of sweet sweat and cool toned aftershave making you dizzy. “i hate you.” you state indignantly, flopping against his chest and letting it’s plushness muffle your speech patterns. “you’re stupid hot. and a slut.”
“you slut shamin’ me, sweetness?”
“s’what you deserve. dressin’ like you don’t belong to nobody. like you belong to the streets.”
“i belong to you, baby. you know that.” chucking his toast onto the counter, the blonde swoops down to kiss you hungrily — tasting of freshly brewed coffee grounds and salt. of course he would get off to something like this. he’s got you right where he wants you, weak in the knees and melting in his arms.
you screw your eyes shut, squirming in place as bakugou steps back and guides your hand under his tight fitting compression shirt, overloading your brain with just how built he is. fleshy pecks and golden abs. he ends up keeping it rolled up so you feel hot all over. “i can get undressed if it makes ya feel better.”
you can’t help that your eyes drop back down to his cotton grey sweats — they’ve slipped a little lower, low enough for his sharp v-line and soft blonde curls from his happy trail to peek out from the waistband. if you squinted (not that you would need to) you could make out the outline of his semi as it brushes against your inner thighs.
this is it. this is the end. “it makes me feel worse actually. like i might die of thirst or something. especially if you don’t—“
“if i don’, what?” his hands are all over you now, splayed over your tummy, digging into your waist — he overwhelms you. pressing his body against yours until you practically feel him through your pores. bakugou is hot (physically, sure) but against you, your desire for him spreads like a heatwave through every inch of your body — from the tips of your fingers and toes to the top of your head.
“kiss me.” you breathe, a neediness seeded into your tone.
bakugou arches a blonde eyebrow, looking down at you cockily. “c’mere then, brat.”
he uses a finger and thumb to tilt your chin up towards him, leaning down to kiss you before tricking you with a fake out. just as you begin to whinge and complain, the blonde squishes your cheeks so you can’t wriggle away from him and licks into your mouth with a teasing laugh. he only kisses you fully when you grasp at his slender waist, feel him up from under his clothes and slip your hands over his ass — just bellow the waistband of his sweats.
“fuckin’ tease,” katsuki grunts, tugging on your lower lip with his teeth and sucking in your tongue.
a free hand wanders from his bottom, climbs up the rippling muscles of his back and tangles in bakugou’s sandy roots — fisting then as you drag him closer, working your tongue into his hot and welcoming mouth. “takes one to know one, kats,” you mewl into him, letting him swallow your satisfied gasps and squeaks.
every action, every groan and grope becomes rougher, needier, hornier — squeezing each other turns to grinding on one another until there’s no room for either of you to breathe and just as you move to shove your hand down the front of his boxers, everything comes to a halt.
you knock bakugou’s coffee over when he lifts you onto the counter.
“ow! hot!” you squeal, still tilting your head back to make room for the blonde at your neck.
he doesn’t stop, nipping at your skin. “yeah, so you’ve said babe.”
“not you, dummy!” swatting at your boyfriend, you push him off. “the fucking coffee on my ass!”
katsuki blinks, his lashes fluttering against the column of your throat while be peeks over your shoulder at the beverage spilling across the counter and seeping into your clothes.
“that’s what you get for callin’ me a slut.”
“oh…oh fuck you.”
“‘m trying babe.”
“fuck you. slut.”
“keep degrading me sweetness, ‘m kinda into that.”
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꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
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maxwellatoms · 2 months ago
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And a good executive dysfunction to you!
My stomach hurts.
I don't want to draw right now, but I really do want to draw in general. Just not now. Maybe... now?
No. Not yet.
There's a wasp's nest on the catio. I should be looking up how to remove it, but instead I'm in here writing this nonsense. I should be drawing.
It still smells like burning metal in here, so I probably am better off with the wasps. Did I mention that my bathroom caught fire this morning? Like an actual fire fire. I may have buried the lede on that one. I used to think it was "buried the lead", as though you'd skipped the information you meant to lead with. Fun that it still works.
Fire dept. said that there was a timer on the wall switch in the bathroom where we're having work done from the flood that happened after my birthday. When the timer tripped, a heating mesh coiled up by the wall caught fire. Thankfully, my fiancee' smelled the burning metal and we caught it early.
It's hard to make cartoons when your house keeps attacking you. Also, when you're not employed making cartoons. I'm trying some indie stuff, but again... can I get a break here? Let's just tone down the apocalypse. I'd like to get some stuff done. And my insurance runs out in two weeks.
But HA! Fincee'! So I still get insurance. Happy accidents. Suck it, world-- Oh hang on. Contractor is here...
I'm back! Where was I?
My fuchsia is on the rebound, I think. Passed it on the way back in. I don't want to call it a comeback, but it's flowering. I think maybe the pot retains too much water. We'll see how it goes. Thankfully it doesn't need much compost because I blew through the whole pile yesterday refiling the garden beds. I did the beds Hügelkultur style, but I used cacti in one of them, so the soil drop was insane after the first year. Free garden tip for ya' there.
Where was I?
To be fair, there's a lot of residual adrenaline going on this morning too.
Work.
Right...
Gotta get these drawings done. I said I'd do it by tomorrow. I only said it to myself, but I should maybe listen. Can I be trusted?
Just draw, dude.
It smells like cheese and apocalypse in here. Nothing I can do about the fried metal, but the cheese is from the toaster oven. I should go clean that now. Hang on. I'll be back.
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honeekyuu · 5 months ago
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genius. [akaashi keiji x f!reader] chapter two.
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>>You struggle to pay rent on your limited graduate student salary, and your worst enemy agrees to help you out.
or
You realize you need to find a partner for your faceless porn account, and Akaashi Keiji is the only man who meets all your requirements.<<
series status: [ongoing]
taglist: [open]
@kodsuken @onlytendoguesses @kakeru-eem @itslawful @rikari0913
tumblr didnt let me tag some of you -- please check your settings and let me know :'))
previous. || masterlist. || next.
a/n: im never writing a 30k chapter ever again in my entire life. i hope you like it :))))
[feel free to buy me a cup of coffee!]
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Akaashi arrives on Saturday morning at 8am. You’re making coffee when he knocks.
It feels almost illegal to be filming porn so early in the morning, but Bokuto had texted a large group of people at 2am, inviting everyone to a party that same day, and you’d sleepily texted Akaashi instead of responding to the group message.
“Come over at 8 if you plan on going to Kou’s thing,” you’d said. It’s the only text you’d sent him after his impromptu video message, and you’d hoped at the time that he wouldn’t be offended by it. “Otherwise, come at 11 like we planned.”
“8,” is all he’d responded, and you’d gotten the feeling Bokuto’s text had woken him, too.
He looks exhausted when you open the door, and you latch onto that so as to not be overcome by the weird tingling feeling that’s starting to swirl in your stomach at the sight of him.
“Hi,” you say plainly, looking him over. He’s wearing a pair of grey sweats – a different pair than last night’s, you hope – and a black t-shirt, his hair falling into his eyes and his glasses barely staying on his nose. He’s got a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. You point to it now. “What’s that?”
“Three changes of clothes, so all the videos are different,” he mumbles, his voice tense. “Do you have coffee?”
You can’t help the smile that breaks out on your face. “Akaashi Keiji, are you a crabass in the morning?”
He rolls his eyes. “Do you have coffee or not, Y/n? Because I need to go to the shop downstairs if-” He points over his shoulder in the direction of the elevator, but you wrench the door open, waving him in with a laugh.
“I made it, I made it.”
He gives you a snippy hum and makes his way through the foyer, leaving his shoes behind as he moves to drop his bag by the couch. He goes straight to your kitchen, and you wonder if his usual polite tendencies only show themselves post-caffeination.
“Cup?” he calls from the other side of the wall, and you follow him in there, seeing that he’s opening all of your cabinets. 
You laugh. “I’ve never seen you not be a good guest-”
“Cup, please, Y/n – I’m dying.”
“Last one on the right.” You chuckle to yourself and open the fridge, pulling a bottle of cream out and leaving it on the counter. He meets you halfway, setting two mugs between you and reaching for the pot of coffee just as the machine is beeping its completion.
“Breakfast?” you ask, already reaching for the fridge again while he pours a heavy cup for each of you. You have eggs, and you’re sure there’s bacon in there-
“Do you have pop-tarts?” is all he says. You stay silent, just staring at him. He cuts you a tired glare. “Don’t look at me like that. I can’t be perfect all the time.”
You let out a breathless laugh. “Does anyone else know you’re this humble?” He takes a defiant sip of his coffee instead of answering you, sighing contently afterward. You move to your pantry, extracting a variety pack of pop-tarts. “Here,” you say, sliding it to him.
“Thanks,” he grumbles, poking through it and deciding quickly on the smores flavor. “I’ll get lunch. Chinese?”
“Free food is good food,” you respond, mixing your coffee with cream and sugar from the little jar on the counter. You watch him rip the plastic open with his teeth. “Do you need… I don’t know, a toaster or something?”
“Nope.” He talks through a mouth full of smores pop-tart and walks off, disappearing into the living room. You stare after him, laughing in shock as he goes. You’ve never seen Akaashi Keiji like this.
You move to the couch with your own pop-tart (strawberry) and sit on the opposite side. He already looks better, his fingers tangled in his hair as he chugs coffee that’s scalding hot.
You feel odd starting right away with a conversation about the filming plan, so you take a quiet sip of coffee. “So… how was your night?”
Akaashi chokes on pop-tart crumbs.
Your face burns with realization. “Oh– I…”
He shakes his head, laughing while he coughs. “You did that on purpose.”
“I didn’t!”
“How was your night?” he asks, meeting your eyes. You purse your lips – you hadn’t responded to his text, after all.
“It was… fine.”
“Fine, good? Or fine, bad?” You don’t answer, and he gives you a meaningful lift of his brows. “Some feedback would be nice.”
“Well, you let me know when you make your own porn account,” you joke. “I’ll be sure to leave a comment.”
“Hey, now.” He tuts and shakes his head. “I showed you what I thought of your video. I think a little reciprocity’s fair.”
“I’m about to take my clothes off for you,” you argue. “I think that’s your reciprocity.”
He hides his smile behind his hand. “Fair enough.” He downs the rest of his coffee and then sighs, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I needed that.”
“Clearly,” you mumble, leaving your own drink and pop-tart on the coffee table. “Better, crabass?”
“Better,” he says plainly, accepting the nickname. “What’s the plan?”
That quiet tingle returns, prickling in your fingertips and toes. “Uh…” You stand, moving toward your bedroom. “I suppose I should figure out what I’m wearing, but… generally, I was thinking we could film enough for three or four videos? I can fill the rest of the week in with solo videos.”
“Okay,” he says behind you, and you hear him stand and move to the hallway. “Is what I’m wearing now okay for the first one?”
You leave the door cracked while you change. “Yeah, that looks good!” you call, pulling out a yellow crop top and a black, lacy thong. You grimace down at the set. You usually don’t put much thought into your outfits, but having Akaashi here makes you a little self-conscious. “Which video should we do first?”
“Well, I’m not sure that 8am is the best time for freaky, screaming, headboard-slamming sex, Y/n.” 
You laugh to yourself. “Something softer? With the morning sunlight coming in through the window?”
“That sounds better. I’ll get the windows in the room.” 
You change into the set quickly and stand in front of your mirror, fixing your hair. You look down at yourself, turning back and forth, and decide to forgo the bra. There’s no point in it, but you do feel a lot more exposed now. “Are we gonna talk for any amount of time, or are we starting?” you say, a little louder so he can hear.
“We should probably figure out the order of the videos,” he responds, back in the living room now.
“Okay, then I’ll get a sweater.”
What you walk out in is more of a moomoo than a sweater, and Akaashi tells you as much.
“You look stupid,” he says, amused, when you stop outside your bedroom door.
“Be quiet – wearing nothing is a cold affair.” You scoop your coffee from the table and follow him toward the hall, but he stops before you can get there. You have a whiteboard hanging on the wall in the living room, one with your research ideas and spare thoughts. He takes the marker now, hovering over an empty spot, and looks down at you expectantly.
“Order?”
“Not on my precious board,” you complain, and he rolls his eyes.
“Fingering for the first one? And then I was thinking something with the desk,” he says, writing down the first point quickly.
“I think oral’s probably good. Both kinds.” When he grimaces, you nudge him. “Would you rather do isolated videos, or have me give oral as foreplay in every video-”
“Isolated sounds lovely,” he says quickly, starting to jot that, too, but you stop him with a slight laugh.
“Why don’t you like having your dick sucked, Akaashi? Is something wrong?”
“There’s nothing wrong with me,” he argues. “The attention’s just a little weird. I prefer doing other things with the time.”
You tilt your head at him, brows furrowed. “You feel weird about the attention?” He meets your eyes briefly, and you spot the scowl forming. “Sorry, have you never gotten good head before?”
“Shut up,” he bites. “I just get a little lost in my head. Makes it hard to enjoy it.”
You blink. You think you can understand that – having an overactive mind must make it hard to relax. You can’t say you don’t know what that’s like.
“Okay, then,” you say, taking the marker from him. “You just need to get out of your head.” You write ‘Give Akaashi Good Head’ under his first point, and he snorts.
“Good luck,” he mumbles.
“I don’t need luck,” you beam at him, confident. “What’s next? The desk?”
“I can eat you out there,” he says plainly, taking the marker back, and you’re suddenly caught off guard again by his jarring language, as though you hadn’t just done the same. You blink rapidly.
“O…kay. And then?”
He shrugs. “Bed? Sex?”
“Right,” you say, nodding. “Sex. Sure.”
He eyes you while he writes. “You’re getting nervous.”
“It registered while you were talking.”
“Registered for me last night,” he says, capping the marker and replacing it. “I’ll take over while you process.”
“Shut up,” you say weakly, letting him lead you down the hall anyway. “When’d you process? When you were coming to a video of me?”
He has the decency to blush. “Somewhere around there, yeah.”
You snicker, leaving your coffee on the dresser. “Shall we? Before I get cold feet?”
“Does your rent due date get cold feet?” he asks, moving to the chest. He extracts a small vibrator and a dildo, and then, after careful consideration, he puts the dildo back. He moves to the couch with the vibrator and settles down with a sigh. 
You nod at his question. Right. You’re here to make rent. This is a business arrangement. You can do this.
Your eyes scan the room. He’d popped one of the windows open and raised the blinds for all of them, making the room just a little chilly but overall comfortable and sunny. There’s a golden glow in the room, birds chirping peacefully, and you smile, pleased with the environment. 
“Okay!” You say, mostly to hype yourself up, and strip from the moomoo. You leave it on the bed, shivering slightly, and turn toward Akaashi. He’s looking at you blankly, but you can see a pink tinge in the tips of his ears. You take your phone to the tripod, bending at the waist to set the camera up. You change all the settings the way you like them, keeping him in frame to position the phone right. 
You realize upon glancing at him in the front view that he’s got his eyes on you.
“Are you staring at my ass?”
He jumps, meeting your eyes in the camera. And then he scowls. “Don’t scold me. I’m processing again.”
You snicker, shaking your head and pressing record before joining him on the couch, a good foot or two of space between you. “I’m just fucking with you.”
He eyes the camera, seeing both of your faces in frame. “You’ll crop it?”
“Zoom and crop,” you reassure. “I’ll even send you the login to my account so you can review the videos before they post.”
He nods, seemingly comforted by that. “‘Kay.” 
You swallow. “... ‘Kay.” 
It hits you in this moment that you haven’t been with a man in three years – and that Akaashi Keiji is one very handsome man.
He looks at you expectantly, lifting his brows. “Wanna start?” he asks, in a voice gentler than before – you’re struck with the thought that Akaashi is one of those men whose soft features make him all the more masculine. Long eyelashes that make his eyes darker, a lean frame that makes him tower over you, a voice so soft that the depth of it is striking.
You like men like that.
“Right.” You blink rapidly, panicking at the realization that he might just be your type. Panicking because you hadn’t noticed it before. “Okay. Uhm-” Your face warms, worsened when he starts to smirk. “Oh!” You say, an idea coming to you. “Music! Maybe music will help-” You rise, starting to question where you’d left your speaker, but Akaashi’s hand wraps tight around your wrist, warm and secure.
“God,” he says, laughing slightly. His grip drags you down, your knees hitting the couch and your body slumping against his. You yelp when you land, and he releases you in favor of sliding one hand around your waist and the other around the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair. “You’re a mess,” he jokes, his voice suddenly a lot closer than you’d prepared for.
When his lips touch your throat, the room starts to spin.
Your whole body breaks out in goosebumps, starting from the crown of your head and melting down over you.
“Oh,” you breathe, your head falling to the side all on its own, resting against his hand and giving him better access. He drags his lips across your throat, kissing the skin quietly and easing the tension in your muscles. You slide trembling fingers into his hair, holding tight as he uses the hand on your hip to pull you half onto him, your legs dangling between his knees. 
There are a hundred different sensations you’re struggling to come to terms with. Every touch of Akaashi’s skin to yours is new, because there’s never been a situation where you’d needed to make physical contact with him. His hands are large and his fingers are warm. His mouth is warmer, and his tongue and teeth send shockwaves down your spine with every pass and nip of your skin. His body is hard against yours, and, when your free hand searches for somewhere to anchor and lands on his bicep, you realize that Akaashi’s endless wardrobe of cardigans, sweater vests, and button-downs has done remarkable things to hide his physique. 
He’s strong, strong enough to hold you steady as you all but go limp in his arms. And his hair tickles against your skin, but it smells nice. He smells nice – he hadn’t put cologne on this morning, but he smells nice. And his eyes are dangerously blue when he pulls back to look at you, that deep blue that’s close enough to a dark green to be confusing in the golden light of the morning.
“Princess,” he whispers, and you start, staring down at his lips. They’re pink and look soft – they are soft, you register. You know that now. You know what his lips feel like. “Do you plan on doing anything at any point?” he asks, and you blink, meeting those blue-green eyes again.
Oh, right.
Right.
“Sorry,” you mumble. “Just… took me a second to get used to it.” 
He doesn’t quite smile, but it’s close enough. “Second’s up, darling. Take your shirt off.” 
You nearly laugh, your face warm, and then you shift, using your fingers in his hair to tilt his head away. “Gimme one more second.”
It is way too satisfying to hear the way his breath hitches when you press your lips to his throat. His skin tastes the way you imagined it might – like soap and salt, clean and chilled against your tongue. You let your hand roam his body while you kiss him, your teeth sucking marks into his skin while your fingers curve over his shoulder and across his chest. You wonder if he’s as affected by all of this as you are. If he’s as confused, if his nerves are as electrified by the newness of it. 
His fingers leave your hair to latch onto your leg instead, fingertips sliding across the skin as he runs his hand slowly up and down your thigh. When your hand drops to front of his sweats, he manages not to jump. His fingers dig into your skin, and he lets out a rough breath, but he manages to not make it look like you’ve never touched each other before. You palm him slowly, doing your best not to react when his cock jumps under your fingertips. You keep kissing him, palm tracing the outline of him as he grows hard at your touch, his breath short in your ears.
He doesn’t say anything else to you, only anchoring both hands to your waist after a moment and hauling you up. You gasp quietly, lifted and turned until you’re on your knees, straddling his thighs. He looks up at you, and you see that his eyes have darkened since you’d last looked at them.
“Take your shirt off,” he says again, and it’s not a joke this time. You cross your arms over your chest and hook trembling fingers under the hem of your crop top. Your stomach flips in a moment of nerves and anticipation, but you brush it aside, lifting your shirt clean over your head and dropping it to the couch. 
Akaashi’s fingers tighten on your waist, and you only have time to slide both hands into his hair before he leans forward and takes one nipple in his mouth. You gasp loudly, a quiet moan leaving you. He takes the other breast with one hand, sucking and dragging his teeth over one nipple while his thumb tweaks at the other. You moan louder, fingers tightening in his hair, and your thighs shake. You lose the strength to hold yourself up when, eyes shut and eyelashes fluttering prettily against his cheeks as he suckles you, he slides his hand blindly up your body and pushes his thumb against the seam of your lips.
Your knees give out, and you collapse into his lap with a breathy moan, the sound parting your lips and granting him the room to slide the pad of his thumb against the flat of your tongue. His head stays nestled against your chest, his ministrations never stopping, and you moan loud around his thumb – for the camera, because you realize suddenly that all that’s visible is your back and the supporting hand Akaashi has pressed to the center of your spine.
When the sound leaves you, admittedly a little performative, the rest of his fingers tighten around your jaw, and he releases your nipple from his mouth with a quiet pop. He lifts his head to meet your eyes, lips pink and wet, and he uses the thumb in your mouth and the fingers on your jaw to grip you, pulling you close.
“It’s annoying when you fake sounds like that,” he whispers, eyes hazy but piercing straight through yours. You stare back, your own eyes wide. He lifts a brow. “Understand?”
You nod back dumbly, and he pulls his thumb from your mouth. Both hands fall to your waist, and he mumbles ‘turn’ close to your ear. You let him turn you around, settling between his thighs with your back to his chest, your heart beating loud in your ears after the way he’d spoken to you.
“Do you need to fix the camera?” he murmurs against the shell of your ear, and you lean forward shakily, pulling the tripod closer and lowering it so only your mouth and below are showing. You relax your head against his shoulder, sighing nervously when he cups both breasts in his hands.
You arch your back a little dramatically, glad that he seems to realize that some things need to be performative, and spread your thighs, hooking them over each of his. He slides his hand up your chest and pushes the middle two fingers into your mouth. You wrap your lips around them, tongue swirling around the tips, and you hear his breath stutter in your ear. His hips push against your ass, and you realize with a rush of heat and a flip of your stomach that he’s properly hard now. 
You twist one of your arms behind your back and slide your palm against him carefully. He groans low against the side your head, pulling his fingers from your mouth. His hand falls to your pantyline, and he slips his fingers past while you’re distracted with touching him.
You jump when his wet fingers, cold from the air, make contact with your heated core. “Oh, my-” He swipes two tight circles over your clit before sliding his fingers through your folds, repeating the motion a few times – just the way you like it. 
He’d paid attention during that video last night, then.
“Mm,” you groan, feeling his middle finger push gently against your entrance. You grip him harder behind your back, and he shudders against you, his teeth grazing the tip of your ear.
“You’re really wet,” he breathes, teasing weakly. “How long’s it been, again? Three years?”
You arch your back, nearly distracted by the way he pushes his fingers through your folds. “Take your pants off, then. Let’s see how long you last.” 
You feel him grin against your ear, and that does something to the flip of your stomach and makes you twitch when he swipes the pads of his fingers over your clit. His free hand pushes at the lace of your panties.
“You first, princess,” he breathes, and you lift your hips in compliance. “Your viewers are gonna wanna see how you look with two of my fingers buried inside you.” 
Your heart explodes in your ears, and you go limp against his chest, your head turned and your face pressed to his neck when you moan weakly. He laughs quietly, jostling you and the million tiny needles pricking your skin as his comment sinks into you.
Akaashi gets your underwear off of you with very little help from you, and then he pries your thighs open with both hands, your whole body on display while he holds you, still fully clothed. “Shit,” he whispers to himself, fingers hooked behind your knees and pulling your legs open a little further. Your eyes flutter open, and you find his gaze flicking between the camera and your body, his lips parted as he looks down at you.
“Like what you see?” you whisper, pulling your arm out from behind your back and wincing when it aches. He adjusts you, sliding one arm around your waist and pulling you tight against him. The other lifts, the same fingers from before finding your mouth. You let him in, whining when you taste yourself on the pads of his fingers and shivering when he murmurs ‘there you go’ against your ear.
When his fingers find your core this time, all you can do is breathe out shakily and relax against him. He swipes twice and dips toward your entrance. You manage to keep the video in mind, arching your back and cupping your hands over your breasts, kneading and touching yourself for the camera. Akaashi nudges the tip of his middle finger past your entrance, and the moan that falls past your lips is breathless and shocked.
You purse your lips, your body trembling as it realizes that someone who’s not you is doing this. Akaashi pushes his lips to the crook of your neck and tries again, using two fingers to work you open carefully. Your breath is shallow and harsh in your chest by the time he gets both fingers inside you comfortably, his cock twitching against your back.
“God, you’re tight,” he breathes in your ear. The pads of his fingers brush up against the spongy spot that’s normally so hard for you to reach on your own. “You need to relax.”
“Trying,” you bite, breathing hard. “Your hands are a lot bigger than mi-mm-” You jerk when he starts to move, thrusting his fingers slowly and curling them inside you. “Fuck,” you breathe sharply, a rush of heat washing over you. He picks up the pace, flicking his wrist and snapping his palm against your skin. Your mouth falls open, breathy, high-pitched moans tumbling out with every push of his fingers into you, and your hips start to roll against his hand, entirely unconscious. You can’t remember the last time you’d gotten a stretch like this, and there’s a brief moment of insanity where you imagine calling Akaashi Keiji any time you need to get off.
It should be embarrassing, the way your body’s reacting, but your brain is full of static, and you can’t hear much aside from your own breathing and the low moans buried in Akaashi’s throat, quiet with each push of your core against his hand. He’s rocking his hips slightly against your ass, his fingers stalling and stuttering after a moment. He lets out a harsh breath on your skin, and you manage to crack your eyes open enough to see he’s got his eyes squeezed shut and his forehead pressed to the side of your head. His lips are parted, breath warm on your sweat-chilled skin, and, when your walls flutter around his fingers, his hips jerk against you, breath hitching on his inhale.
“Fuck,” he breathes to himself, his chest rising and falling faster now. “Fuck, fuck-” 
He reaches out blindly with his other hand, patting the couch frantically. You don’t have the energy to look, but the buzz of the vibrator coming close makes you whine. When it touches your skin, his fingers finding your clit with ease, your back arches and you cry out, the extra sensation too much.
“Oh, I’m- I’m gonna-”
Akaashi holds you tight, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as he whispers, “Come on, come on, come on, com-”
You gasp loud, twitching and jerking against him while you come around his fingers. There’s a warmth that spreads over your lower back, but you pay it no mind, your ears ringing too hard and your body shivering too much against him. 
Your hand clamps onto his wrist, pushing the vibrator just far enough away from your body that you can catch your breath. Heart thundering in your chest and throat, you focus on regaining control of your limbs, your fingers and toes numb.
You’re not sure how long you lie there, splayed open on Akaashi’s lap as you try to remember your own name, but you do shiver and whine when he pulls his fingers out of you slowly. He runs them through your folds one more time, the touch to your clit making you twitch against him again. He breathes a shaky laugh into your ear and rests his hand on your inner thigh, sighing quietly.
“How was that?” he asks roughly, his breath as unsteady as yours.
“Mhm,” you hum. “‘s good. Nice. Well done.” His laugh is delirious, and it draws your own spare breath into a tired chuckle. “Dude, I can’t feel my toes.”
He laughs harder. “I just came in my pants.”
“Is that what that was?” you ask, turning your head enough to look up at him. His cheeks are flushed a pretty red, and his eyes are glazed over slightly. You reach lazily behind you, fingers dipping into the wet warmth on your lower back. He gives a pained groan when you whisper ‘nice’ in a voice that’s horribly smug, and he scrubs the bottom of his shirt over your skin to wipe it away.
“I haven’t done that since I was a teenager,” he complains, dropping the vibrator on the couch and reaching for your panties. He helps you put them on, propping you up while you complain about being lifted. When you pull away from him, sitting up properly between his legs, he laughs down at himself. You look back, finding a wet spot on his sweats and his t-shirt stained with cum. 
He meets your eyes, ears burning. “You can’t give me head today. This is embarrassing.”
You laugh loudly, turning to reach for your phone and end the recording. “Okay, fine. You got off easy this time.”
“Yeah, you can say that again,” he mutters, and you drop your face to your hands, groaning. 
“Can we take a small break?” you ask. “I dunno if I can handle more right now.”
“Yeah, I should change anyway.” He climbs out from behind you, taking your coffee cup with him as he heads back to the main room. You pull your shirt back on and then stand on shaky legs, padding over to the bed for your cover-up. Sitting on the couch in your Bokuto-sized onesie and going through your phone, you send the video to the locked photo album in your camera roll and try to recover from the small shockwaves still sparking through your body.
Akaashi returns in fresh clothes a few minutes later, black jeans slung low on his hips and a white t-shirt hanging over the hook of his forearm. You realize, by the wet edges of his hairline and the few wet strands that hang over his eyes, that he’d washed his face and freshened up. You also realize, with a sneaky peek at his lean build, that you hadn’t been wrong about the physique he’s been hiding.
“Couple questions,” he asks, holding both cups of coffee as he makes his way to you carefully, the open pop-tart packs pinched precariously between his knuckles. You sit up, taking yours and thanking him quietly. He sits beside you, sipping happily at his fresh coffee and letting out a large sigh when he’s done. “First, when do you want to eat lunch? Because, by the time we’re done, I’m gonna be crabby again.”
You snort, checking your phone. It’s already 9:15, you realize with surprise.
“Oh. Well, if we keep this pace…” You blink a few times, thinking. “We could order around 11?”
“Between the desk scene and the bed scene?” He lifts his mug to his lips again, and you lift a brow.
“Why? You think it’ll only take thirty minutes to fuck me? Just in time for delivery?”
He coughs into the cup, splashing hot coffee all over his face. “Fuck-” He tosses his clean white shirt in your lap and wipes at his face with a wince. “That’s not what I meant-”
You bite your lip, laughing quietly. “Sure, we can order before the bed scene.”
“You’re such a-” He shakes his head, cleaning his hands on his jeans.
“A what?” you tease, leaning toward him with a smile. He leans toward you, too, his brows lifting. 
“A brat.” He leans away, leaving you with warm cheeks and a set of rapid blinks. “May I continue, or do you need more time to be annoying?”
“The floor is yours, Your Highness,” you say, picking at your pop-tart before leaving it on the little coffee table to your left.
He gestures to his jeans. “I put on a real outfit because I was thinking we could make it more… roleplay-ish.”
You hear his intended question. “I can find an outfit for that. What’s the vibe you’re going for?”
“I don’t really know. Something… spontaneous. Like you invited me over and things got out of hand, or something.”
You squint playfully at him. “I can’t tell if you read a lot of smut or watch a lot of porn.”
“I have an active mind.” He shrugs, rolling his eyes when you make fake gagging sounds.
“You want me in a school-girl skirt?” you joke, but he cuts a glance at you.
“You have one?” He laughs when you smack him on the arm. “I’m just saying – I’ve never seen it.”
You throw your hands up in exasperation. “When would you have seen it?!”
“We run the same circles!” he tries. “I see a lot of you on a daily basis.”
You groan, turning away from him and giving your coffee extra attention. “I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a schoolgirl miniskirt to Bokuto’s biweekly parties, Akaashi. Use that brain of yours.”
There’s a pause, and then he chuckles to himself. “Oh, I get it – I should have scrolled a little longer on your account last night.”
“You’re so irritating,” you say, standing. “Is that what I’m wearing? I need to change.”
“Let’s see it, then,” he says, waving a polite hand at the door.
You pad to your room, your head swimming slightly. It’s weird, you think as you search your closet – you’d spent an hour reveling in new discoveries of Akaashi Keiji, but the moment things had ended, you’d gone back to normal. Is it the continued absurdity? Is it some weird, twisted form of suspended disbelief – where, when the camera’s rolling, you’re allowed to forget who you are with him? And, when it’s done, you’re able to snap back to reality without issue?
And does he feel the same?
You choose an outfit while hyper-analyzing him, sliding on a matching bra-panty set while wondering if he’s thinking the same about you. Zipping your plaid miniskirt while considering if things would be this easy with Bokuto or Kuroo, or if things are easy because it’s Akaashi – because of that strange sense of detachment you’d noted before. Tying your hair up and tucking a white button-down into the skirt, the first three buttons undone, while secretly hoping that things continue to be this strange and simple.
You’re still messing with your hair by the time you head back to the spare room, and you barely notice the way Akaashi’s eyes go wide when he sees how short your skirt is.
“Okay, I see what you mean.”
“Oh, yeah?” you laugh. “Think I should wear this to the party tonight?”
“Sure, if you want to put on a live show.”
You roll your eyes, straightening your clothes. “Slutty schoolgirl enough for you?”
“Incredibly,” he says, standing and pulling his shirt over his head. “Shall we?”
You move the tripod toward the desk by the windows, setting your phone up so it’s level with your chest. “I think we should probably walk into frame if we’re going for roleplay.”
“Okay.” Akaashi stands at the open window nearest the desk, peering down to the ground level and then out across the way. You hadn’t lied about your balcony yesterday – your apartment doesn’t face the street, because your residential high-rise looks out to water. The nearest building this tall is across the river. Still, he glances at you. “Do you close these when you film here or leave them open?” You don’t answer, your face warming instead. His lips split in a knowing grin. “I see.”
“It’s not what you think-”
“So, you’re not an exhibitionist?”
“Not a big one!”
He turns away, backing out of frame and waiting for you next to the end of the bed. “I don’t know about the degrees of exhibitionism, but I’d say leaving your windows open while I eat you out is pretty up there. Freak.”
“Do you always have to talk?!” you snap, embarrassed and a little warm from the way he’d called you a freak. “Always talk, talk, talking. Some of us like our windows open, Akaashi. It’s not like anyone can actually see.” You press record angrily and stomp over to him. “You can never just shut the fuck up-”
His hand flies out, latching onto your waist and dragging you the rest of the way to him. You gasp, hands landing on his chest as he pulls you flush to him.
You’re no less unprepared for his mouth on your throat this time around. You stumble back, grabbing onto his t-shirt to keep yourself standing while he sucks on a spot under your ear.
“‘m I still talking too much?” he murmurs, walking you slowly into frame. You card your fingers through his hair and trust him to not let you fall on your ass.
“Always,” you breathe, that strange suspension of disbelief setting in when you bump against the desk and Akaashi slips his fingers around the backs of your thighs to hoist you up. You lean up, pressing your lips to his jaw and kissing carefully down the line of it. He tugs your shirt free of the skirt and undoes two of the buttons with one hand, the other hooked under your knee so he can slot his hips between yours. Then he nudges you away, taking over.
You let him touch you, his fingers fondling and groping your body while you lean back on your hands with a sigh. His mouth finds the hollow of your throat, teeth nipping at your collarbones while his hands slide your skirt under the curve of your ass. The material bunches at your waist, and he slips your panties off of you and throws them somewhere behind him. When he meets your eyes, you catch the glint in them.
“Maybe you should do something about that. Since you want to be a freak.”
You narrow a glare at him, heart skipping a beat when he says that stupid name. You let him pull your thighs open, and then you reach between for the button on his jeans. He lifts a brow, interest piqued, as you undo his pants and push them past his hips. You slide your palm against his boxers, smiling up at him when he sucks in a breath.
“You like that, baby?” you ask, your grin widening when he narrows his eyes. “Even though someone could see?” His cock jumps under your hand, and your eyebrows fly to your hairline. He has the decency to look embarrassed. “Oh?”
“Shut up,” he mumbles, knocking your hand away. You shrug it off, pushing that hand into his hair.
“Then say I’m not a freak,” you say, pulling tight. He doesn’t seem to mind it, but he does narrow a glare and an irritated grin at you.
“You’re not a freak, sweetheart,” he whispers, voice saccharine. “But you love it when I call you one.” He lifts his brows when you say nothing. “So what does that make you?”
You glower and push down on his head, and he drops to his knees with a snicker. You check the camera quickly, making sure that his face is hidden behind your thigh. Keeping your hand on the side of his head to provide more coverage, you try not to shiver when Akaashi presses his lips to the inside of your thigh. When he hooks both your legs over his shoulders and holds on tight, you whimper quietly.
And then the bickering and the nerves all fall away. The flat of his tongue presses to your core, and you make the mistake of looking at him with wide eyes. 
Akaashi’s eyes are a lot bluer when he’s got his face between your thighs.
You suck in a sharp inhale, legs trembling when he drags his tongue over your folds, slow and torturous. You’re unable to keep eye contact with him, a flush rising to your cheeks and your stomach flipping with nerves every time you glance down, because he’s staring right back at you.
Finally, he lets his eyes slide shut, his movements more intense now that he’s not focused on anything else. Your fingers shake in his hair, and your chest rises and falls with something akin to a live wire straight to the veins. Akaashi’s fingers tighten on the tops of your thighs, and he shuffles closer on his knees, his head bobbing as he slides his tongue, velvety and searing hot, through your folds before latching onto your clit.
“Oh, my God-” Your body twitches when he suckles gently, his lips soft around the nub. Your grip tightens on him, and your hips rock forward of their own accord. He follows your lead, finding his timing within the rhythmic cant of your body’s response, and soon, he has you gasping and moaning audibly. 
His glasses sit knocked askew and pushed up against his forehead the more certain he becomes between your thighs. You feel the cold metal on your skin and glance down blearily. A fresh wave of heat washes over you when you realize that they’re smeared with dewy drops of you, and you move them shakily off his face and set them beside you on the desk. Akaashi’s hands respond, sliding up and over your hips, reaching for you. He finds the last button on your shirt and undoes it with a flick of two fingers, and there’s something about the way he moves, skilled and smooth, that makes you shiver visibly in front of the camera.
One of Akaashi’s hands slides up your torso, and he cups your breast firmly through your bra, squeezing and twisting at your nipple until you start to squirm, a whine building in your throat.
“Too much,” you whisper, and he pulls his mouth away from you with a warm huff, his lips wet and glistening when he looks up at you.
“Color?” he murmurs, his breath sharp against your core with each ragged exhale.
You purse your lips. “Green.”
“Then stop complaining,” he says, already lowering his head again. When he pinches your nipple this time, it comes with the aid of the tip of his tongue, pushing carefully against your entrance.
“Holy shit,” you gasp, eyes wide and fingers tugging his hair tight enough to hurt. He pushes once more and then relents, sliding up to suck hard on your clit. You choke, your body arching and trembling against him when he lowers his head and tries again, slipping gently in this time and moaning against you when you squeeze your thighs around his head. He uses both hands to hold tight to your waist, grounding you against him and keeping you from wriggling too much while he fucks you with his tongue. Your skin burns with every drag of his tongue against your walls, and you reach the summit alarmingly fast. “Wait, wait, wait-” 
He slides out of you, and your chest bursts with air, gasps coming to you in choked breaths and shaking thighs. But then he leans up, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking hard, his teeth brushing against the nub in a way that feels a lot like Akaashi putting his hand on your back and shoving you right off the cliff with no warning.
You scream, your head thrown back and your back arching painfully as you see stars. You feel a slight pain in the back of your head, but you don’t register that you’d hit your head on the wall until much later, when the stars are gone and your vision isn’t blacked out any longer. When all that’s left is the camera rolling and your fingers aching where they’re clenched in Akaashi’s hair.
He’s pressing kisses along your thighs slowly, thumbs rubbing circles into your hips. He glances up when your lungs finally relax, your breaths much longer and drawn out now as you find yourself again.
“You okay?” he mumbles against the inside of your knee, examining you through long, dark eyelashes. “You hit your head.”
You nod dumbly and meet his eyes, flames licking up your navel when you catch the thinly veiled heat in his expression. “It can’t be fair that I’ve come twice and you haven’t come at all.”
“I came once,” he reminds you quietly, the breath of his whisper seductive on your thigh. His lips brush over your skin, feather-light and wonderfully soft, and his tongue tracks the path of his mouth, too, warm and wet and drawing your breath short in your chest again. “But I wouldn’t mind taking you up on a second time.”
Your skin heats, the air buzzing in your ears and your heartbeat audible in the silence between you. You nod shallowly, your lips parted, and his eyes flit around your face, searching you. He must like whatever he finds, because he doesn’t respond. He only stands slowly and towers over you, his shirt pulled swiftly over his head and dropped on the desk next to his glasses. He leans down and wraps his arms around your waist, hoisting you up.
You gasp, wrapping yourself tight around him as he crosses the three steps to the bed, the tripod with your phone dangling between his knuckles. He sets it down on the end of the bed, and then he drops you unceremoniously on the mattress. You bounce lightly on it, staring up at him with wide eyes, and he nods at the camera.
“Need to set up?”
“O-Oh. Right-” You blink rapidly, crawling over to the edge and adjusting it quickly while he comes to stand at the side of the bed. You scoot back after, your head facing the top of the bed, and make sure you’re centered in the frame before looking up at him with wide eyes. You purse your lips, skin buzzing with anticipation. “Okay – ready.”
Akaashi lets his eyes roam your body – they land on your shirt, lying open uselessly on your shoulders and showing off your pretty, black bra. Then down to your skirt, bunched up against the tops of your thighs when your knees are bent like that. You do the same, shamelessly – drinking in his body, lean and lanky but muscular all the same. With those black jeans sitting so low on his hips that you can trace the dark trail of hair that disappears into his boxers, an invitation.
You take it, sitting up on your knees and reaching hesitantly for his unbuttoned jeans, your eyes on his. He says nothing, but his lips part when you hook your thumbs into his boxers and start to push them down.
“Shit,” he sighs under his breath when you get his pants down, his cock hard and smeared with precum. You inhale sharply, staring at the pretty curve of it – pretty like his long fingers and his warm lips and his piercing blue eyes. Pretty like the thumb he’d put in your mouth. You want to put this in your mouth, too – your mouth is already watering, funnily enough – but he’s already told you no.
So you settle for wrapping your fingers around him instead, satisfied with the quiet hiss he lets out. You stroke him a few times, twisting your wrist and running your thumb over the slit slowly, the way you’d seen him do it last night. He cards his fingers through your hair, holding loosely.
“How many times did you watch that video?” he asks quietly, the teasing edge in his voice lost to the breathless sigh he lets out after. “You’re doing it the way I like.”
That makes your heart swell with pride, and you can’t help the smile you give him, bright and giddy. “What can I say? I’m a fast learner.”
He chuckles back. “The academic uses her gifts for good.”
“You callin’ me smart, baby?”
He rolls his eyes, taking your chin between his fingers and tilting your head up. “How about you focus, huh? I’ll admit you’re smart when you get me off.”
You sit up a little straighter at that, pursing your lips and mimicking how he’d touched himself last night, flicking your wrist hard around the base and softening your touch at the tip. He swallows when you repeat the motion, his grip on your hair tightening, but he gives you nothing else, his eyes devoid of emotion otherwise. It spurs you on, targets the piece of you that seeks validation. He’d only given it to you once, but you’re eager to hear it again.
“How’s this?”
He just lifts his brows. “What’s wrong? Already need my approval?”
You scowl, returning to the task at hand. It doesn’t take long, not with the way the muscles in his abdomen keep tightening, or the way he’s breathing shallowly through his nose, or the way his hips start to push up to meet your fist halfway. No, it doesn’t take long at all.
But before you can get him off – before you can have the satisfaction of him swearing over you as he comes on your skin – he wraps a hand around your wrist, stopping you.
Your eyes fly up to his, alarmed and disappointed. “What?”
His cheeks are flushed, lips a little swollen from what you can only guess is biting, but he just moves your hand and reaches down to remove his pants. “Lie down. Shirt off.”
You strip from the button-down and toss it uncaringly off the edge, scrambling back to where you were before and leaning back on your elbows with growing anticipation. Your stomach flips when he starts to climb over you, his eyes searching yours. There’s a glint in his eye that seems to signal that he’s processing this, too – that you’re about to have sex. That, out of everyone – out of everyone you actually like – you had decided to come to the one person you don’t like. To the one person you hate most days, because of the way he is and the way he treats you.
But it’s the way he is and the way he treats you that had made him perfect for this.
So, out of everyone, it’s Akaashi Keiji that you’re getting into bed with.
Your tongue darts out when he settles between your legs, your skirt falling up to your hips when your thighs open for him. He glances back and checks the camera frame once before leaning down over you. His brow is furrowed as he slides his cock through your folds, his Adam’s apple bobbing when he feels you. He pushes his hips forward once, twice, and then re-angles himself on the third, his fingers lining the head of his cock up against your entrance.
You watch him when he finally slides into you, the rest of the world lost in a dull buzz that fill your brain.
When he nudges the tip past your entrance, gliding slowly past your walls, his chest rises and falls with the breaths he’s keeping trapped inside, but he’s short of breath nonetheless. His skin is radiating warmth in that way that you find pretty, just like the rest of him, and his eyes are dark when they meet yours. His eyebrows twitch the further he sinks into you, and his lips – pink and wet and pretty – are parting as he bottoms out, and he lets out a soft sigh.
The dull buzz is cleared away like smoke, and you realize there’s a needy moaning echoing in the room, one that can only be coming from you.
“Oh, my God,” you cry, falling back on the mattress when he starts to thrust into you. “Oh, my God, holy shit-” Your heart is pounding hard in your ears and throat and veins, and you’re caught between wanting to claw at the comforter desperately and wanting to hide your face behind your hands.
Akaashi drops down over you, caging you in with one arm as the other bends back, his hand tight on the underside of your thigh as he picks up his pace. You gasp, unable to find enough air in the room to fill your lungs. One of your hands finds his wrist by your head, clamping on tight, and the other smacks down over your eyes – you can’t look at him, not when you’re like this. Not when you’re sweating and breathless, not when your stomach is fluttering with some unfamiliar mix of nerves and desire with every bump of his hips against yours.
Not when you’re realizing that no one else has ever made you feel this way before.
“Look at me, princess,” he grunts, and your stomach flips at the ragged sway of his voice. 
“I-fuck – I can’t-” you whine, but the sound catches in your throat when he angles his hips and the head of his cock smacks right up against your g-spot. You gasp loud, your grip on his wrist tightening with all your strength. “Oh, my God-please-” 
“There?” he asks quietly, and he drives his hips forward at that angle once more. You cry out when he hits it again, but then he stops.
He stops, just hovering over you silently.
The hand on your face drops in shock, and you stare up at him. “What-”
“I told you to look at me.”
“You-” You want to smack him so badly. “You can’t just stop-”
“Can’t I?” He tilts his head, eyes filling with disinterest, despite the breathy quality of his voice. “You weren’t listening to me.”
You remember now, the things he’d said yesterday.
‘Is it alright if I’m a little mean?’
Fuck.
“Uh-fuck,” you laugh pitifully. “Fuck. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.” Your chest starts to fill with a strange feeling, a clawing that reaches for your throat when he only stares, dissatisfied. He doesn’t seem happy with you, and – for every piece of you that doesn’t give a fuck what Akaashi Keiji thinks in any other situation – there’s a panic that’s starting to swirl in you at this very moment. “I’m sorry, please don’t stop-”
He draws his hips back, and the panic forms into a knot all at once when you realize he’s pulling out.
“No, no, no-” You dig your nails into his shoulders, keeping him close and staring up at him with wide, terrified eyes. “No, please, I really am sorry.” The clawing in your throat starts to burn, and your eyes sting at the thought that he’s decidedly finished with you. There’s a rational part of your brain that knows he isn’t. He can’t be. You’re still filming. But the part of you that’s very rapidly become addicted to the feeling of Akaashi fucking you is panicking hard enough to make tears fill your eyes.
His cock twitches inside you when you start to sniffle, and the word ‘dacryphilia’ floats through your brain, the ghost of a memory.
If he wants you to cry, you’ll cry.
“Please, baby,” you murmur, your head falling back on the mattress and your nails clinging to him. You let yourself sink into that panic and your vision blurs, the tears hot and embarrassing as they stream down the sides of your cheeks onto the bed. “Please don’t stop.” 
You don’t see his reaction when you give in to him, but you hear his shaky breath. And you certainly feel when he relents, because he’s pushing slowly back into you. You find yourself whispering ‘yes, yes, yes’ as he’s coming back to you, and the tightness in your throat starts to loosen.
“You gonna listen?” he murmurs, and you nod again. “Because I’ll stop. I’m fine either way.”
He’s bluffing, your brain tries to tell you, but fresh tears are burning your eyes and you’re choking on the lump that’s reforming at the base of your throat. He can’t stop, he can’t. You don’t know what you’ll do if he stops.
“Please, don’t-” you sob, shaking your head. “I swear I’ll listen.” 
Your heart jumps when the mattress dips by your head again as he cages you in. When his other hand finds the underside of your thigh again, the bruises his grip had left the first time ache as his fingers fill those prints once more. He leans down toward you, and you blink through the tears just enough to meet his eyes.
“Cover your mouth,” he whispers, staring down at you with a dangerous glint in his eye. You’re quick to slap your hands over your mouth, terrified of taking too long and testing his patience. He doesn’t smile at your obedience or give you any visual signal of satisfaction, but his eyes do trace your face meaningfully. “Well, if you’re gonna be that good for me, I guess I can let you have it.”
He thrusts his hips forward sharply before you have any time to process what he means. You scream, your back arching when he slams up against your g-spot, and you’re distantly grateful that he’s minding the noise limits on your apartment while he decidedly fucks you into oblivion. He keeps that pace and that angle, and his head drops down beside yours as he does.
“Let’s make a deal,” he says, breathless and rough in your ear. “You listen to me when I talk to you, and I’ll abuse your tight little cunt as much as you want.” Your eyes roll into the back of your head, your body starting to go numb as the pressure builds in your navel for the third time in one morning. “Sound good?” he whispers, swallowing hard after. You nod frantically, and his panting becomes audible in your ear. “Fuck, I’m close. Where should I-” He starts to pull his hips away, but your hands fly off of your mouth and grip hard on his biceps.
“If you pull out right now, I’m going to fucking kill you,” you say, staring straight into his eyes. Your eyes burn, and you’re sticky and warm, and you know you look like a mess, but you keep your eyes directly on his. “We just made a deal.”
He stares, wide-eyed, and then breathes out a laugh. “Okay. I hear you.” When his hips touch yours again, it comes with him dropping down to his elbow and carding his fingers through your hair tight. “But I want you looking at me.”
You’re surprised by that, because it feels oddly intimate for him to chase an orgasm while looking into your eyes – but then he finds that special pace and angle, and you can’t think of anything but giving him what he wants, just so he doesn’t take away what you want. 
You look right into those blue-green eyes as your navel curls and twists, despite every urge to let your eyes roll back and your mouth hang open. You slide your arms around his neck and look into his eyes, clinging tight as he takes full control of your body – prying you open and kissing that particular spot inside you that no one else has ever found before. You look into his eyes up until the very moment you find that summit, the morning light golden and warm and blinding. You find him there, too.
You won’t realize it for a long, long time, but something slides into place and locks tight when your body registers that the last thing you see before falling off the edge is the dark cyan of Akaashi Keiji’s eyes. When it registers that the last thing that he sees – before his eyes roll back and his forehead drops to yours, his hips stuttering and stalling as he fills you – is you.
You think you might have fallen asleep in that spot, because you’re not sure if it’s been minutes or hours since you moved. Your body trembles under him, and you feel him starting to release you achingly slow – his elbow cracks when he lifts off of it, and his breath is taxed and heavy while he pulls out of you. He holds you like that for a minute, just long enough for the creampie to be visible to the camera, and then he sets your thigh down gently. But you whine anyway, because there’s a horrible soreness that’s starting to set into your muscles and bones.
“Shit,” he whispers. “That was-”
You let out a weak laugh, immediately groaning at how it rattles your body. “This Chinese food is going to be the most glorious meal I’ve ever earned.”
He laughs back, that delirious one that comes when he’s struggling to find himself. “I forgot to order it between the desk and the bed.”
“I don’t think we would have made the thirty-minute deadline.”
He laughs harder, collapsing back down on his elbows. “God, I think I’m dying. I don’t know if I have the stamina to be a porn star.”
You groan, planting both hands on his chest and pushing him slowly off of you. He hits the mattress beside you with a sigh, and you curl up in place. “This was hard. I’m tired.”
“There’s no time to be tired. It’s already-” He sits up slowly, reaching for your phone to end the video and check the time. “-noon, apparently.”
“Noon?!” You dig the heels of your hands into your eyes. “Four hours, holy shit.”
“I need food,” Akaashi mumbles to himself, rising off the bed with a groan and searching the floor for his boxers. He finds and trips into them on his way to the door, muttering ‘phone, need my phone’ as he goes. You roll off the side of the bed unceremoniously, swiping your shirt and underwear off of the rug and slipping them back on.
“We were supposed to change,” he calls from the other room. “You’re a slutty schoolgirl in two videos.”
“I don’t care,” you whine, stumbling back into bed and lying flat on your face, your voice muffled. “Let me be a slutty schoolgirl, fuck.”
“Do you still have your pop-tart?” he asks, back in the room and completely ignoring your complaints. “What do you want for takeout?” You hear him snatch the plastic package off the little coffee table by the couch. “I’m eating your pop-tart-”
“Oh, my God, Akaashi, just eat the fucking pop-tart,” you snap, growing crabby. There’s silence, and then he flops down on the bed beside you. 
“Maybe you should eat the pop-tart.”
A laugh bubbles and bursts in your throat, and you start to giggle uncontrollably. “What the fuck did we just do?”
“Burn a lot of calories,” he jokes through a mouth full of your strawberry pop-tart. You turn your head toward him, watching as, half-naked beside you, he scrolls through the delivery menu of the nearest Chinese takeout place. “I’m getting kung pao chicken.”
“Ew.” You wrinkle your nose. “Peanuts.”
He looks at you in confusion. “You’re allergic to peanuts?”
“No. I just don’t like them.”
“Oh,” he grumbles, turning back to his phone. “That’s stupid.”
“You’re stupid-”
He flaps the silvery plastic of the pop-tart in your face. “Eat this and tell me what you want before I get double kung pao-”
You snatch the stupid pastry away from him, watching him lift his hand in defeat and whisper ‘okay, crabass’ as you stuff your mouth with sugary nothingness. “I want beef and broccoli.”
He grimaces. “Boring.”
“Get out of my house, Akaashi-”
“I got it, look-” He brandishes the screen at you, showing your food in the online cart. “What else?”
“Egg rolls. Crab rangoon. Maybe some pot-stickers, too-”
“You’re just trying to spend my money,” he complains, adding it all anyway.
“We’ll make it back soon enough.”
He meets your eyes, and you both seem to re-realize how you’ve just spent a full Saturday morning. It settles in then, the arrangement you’ve made with Akaashi Keiji. Saturday mornings and weekday evenings, a suspended disbelief that you’ll never be able to explain to your friends. Pop-tarts in your slutty schoolgirl skirt, Chinese food in his boxers. A series of life experiences that can never leave this apartment, shared with the singular person you’d tried so long to keep out of your life entirely.
Akaashi blinks, and you blink back, infinite realizations passing by all at once.
He turns his head back to his phone. “Fried or steamed pot-stickers?”
You turn your face back into the mattress, your voice muffled. “Fried.”
While the food’s on its way, you leave Akaashi to wash up in your bathroom. You disappear into your bedroom and change, hearing when the sink stops running and the door opens. 
“In here,” you call, pulling your hair back as you head to your desk that’s pushed against the wall shared with the living room. He appears in the doorway in a pair of athletic shorts and a hoodie, his hair and face damp and his glasses a little foggy from the moisture on his skin. 
“Should be ten more minutes,” he says, checking his phone. And then he glances around your room in a way that appears casual, but you can tell he’s curious. 
“You can come in,” you joke, waving him in. You take a seat at your desk, shaking the mouse attached to your monitor to wake the computer up. “I’m gonna give you account access now before I forget.”
He hums, wandering your room slowly and taking it all in. The photos of your friends on top of your dresser, the plushies on your bed that would be embarrassing to show anyone that’s not him. The bookshelf in the corner, filled with fun novels and academic textbooks alike. 
“I have a few of these,” he murmurs, crouching and thumbing through the volumes. You smile to yourself, logging into your account while you respond.
“The smutty romance novels? No wonder you’re such a creative porn star.”
“You’re funny,” he says, not an ounce of humor in his voice. “You’re missing the Cambridge handbook on Korean morphosyntax.”
“‘s here,” you nod at the small pile of books on your desk, spines facing outward. “I keep the best ones close.” You hear him approach behind you, your eyes busy locating his own account and inviting him as a collaborator. 
But then his hand reaches past your head, and you realize with a drop of your stomach that he’s plucking a paper off the top of a pile that you keep next to your books.
A paper with his name on it, published in Syntax last year, on Korean case marking. It’s full of pen, highlighter, and sticky tabs – your thoughts on his work.
“Oh?” he says, his voice dreadfully smug. “You keep the best ones close, you said?”
“Shut up,” you say, shaking your head. “Research is research-”
“Good research gets cited. You gonna cite me, Y/n?”
“I’m sure you’re no stranger to good research, Akaashi Keiji. I’d be stupid not to.”
“So-” He steps closer, and your lift your eyes to his reluctantly. He looks excited. “-you’re including the case marking, then? In the dissertation.”
You roll your eyes. “Would you like me to say ‘thank you, Akaashi, oh Brilliant One’?” 
He lifts his brows with a smirk. “Yes, actually. I would.”
“Kiss my ass,” you say with a laugh, shaking your head and returning to the task at hand. “Now that I don’t have to find a second job, I might actually have the time to include it.”
“You would have made the time anyway,” he says confidently, and you give an exhausted sigh.
“Okay, I gave you access. Can we-” You stand, snatching the paper back and dropping it on the pile. “-exit the research chat, please?”
“Why?” he prods, following you out the room. “Worried I’ll make good points without our referee around to keep me in check?”
“The fact that you need to be kept in check in the first place is a bad sign.” You flop down on the couch with a sigh, and he follows. “You’re so abrasive.”
“Being gentle doesn’t get you published,” he argues, and you snap back quick.
“Shockingly, I still managed it.”
“You got published?” He lifts his brows, turning to you with interest. “Where? When?”
You sigh. “Language and Cognition,” you mutter, watching his eyes go slightly wide before flattening out again. “End of the month.”
“Holy shit,” he says, nodding and looking away. “Language and Cognition. That’s top-shelf stuff.” You think that might be a compliment. The first he’s ever paid you. “It’s about time.”
The compliment is magically negated.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You say, heated.
“Nothing!” he laughs, shaking his head. “I wasn’t trying to be mean.”
“You’re saying it took me a long time to publish-”
“Considering your skillset,” he argues pointedly. “Yes. I’d say I’m surprised it took this long.”
“Are you insulting me or complimenting me?” You throw your hands out. “Choose, Akaashi.”
“Don’t wanna,” he says childishly, smiling in a way that’s intentionally irritating. You scoff, but his phone pings with the delivery notification before you can pick a fight. He stands, disappearing out the door to get it, and you take a long, deep breath to relax yourself. You turn the TV on, flicking through the options before landing on the nature channel.
He slips back in after a few minutes, bag dangling from his fingers. “What are we watching?”
“Squirrels fighting for their territory,” you say, completely entranced by the action happening on the screen.
“Seriously?” he asks, stopping by the couch briefly to look at the TV. 
“Look at them go,” you whisper in amazement, shaking your head as you watch two squirrels positively tear each other apart.
“Are you in the habit of watching the nature channel?” He wanders to the kitchen while he asks, and you let him struggle to find bowls and unpack the food.
“Every night,” you say, distracted. “Relaxes my brain.”
“God, you’re insane,” he mumbles from across the room.
“Well, what do you do to relax?” you ask. There’s silence in the kitchen, and your attention’s torn from the screen as you look over your shoulder at him. He’s frowning slightly down at the food while he serves it, and you grin smugly. “Oh, I get it. The stick in your ass is there for a reason.”
“Fuck off,” he breathes with a shake of his head. He carries both plates to the couch, handing you one and staring with skepticism at the TV. “We’re really watching this?”
“Look how that one stands on his hind legs and asserts his dominance!” you exclaim, pointing excitedly at the TV before stuffing your mouth full of beef and broccoli. “The other one’s totally gotta give up his acorns now.”
Akaashi sighs, digging into his food with a shake of his head. “Squirrel social dynamics and Chinese food. My Saturday morning.”
You eat in relative silence, the only comments coming from your enthusiasm about nature and his quiet, exasperated laughter. Finally, he sighs, setting his empty plate on the coffee table.
“I should go.”
You nod, reaching to mute the TV. “I gotta edit these videos and draft one to post tonight. What time’s the party?”
“Starts at 9,” he says, standing slowly. You purse your lips, realizing that you’ll have to see him again today – in public, where you’ll have to pretend you hadn’t spent the morning together. 
“Okay.” You nod. “See you then.”
There’s a moment of silence, where he seems to realize the same thing you had, and then he just nods, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Kay. See ya.”
The apartment echoes with the click of the door behind him.
You stare at it, feeling a bit weird, as though the entire affair is finally starting to crash down over you now that he’s gone. Your phone buzzes on the table, and you shake off the feeling, snatching it up. Your heart beats a strange little rhythm at the sight of his name.
[1:24 PM]
Akaashi: dont forget to cover your hickies tonight
“What?” You stand, padding to the bathroom quickly. The reflection in the mirror is horrid, your throat already bruising on both sides. “This motherfu-”
You: youre such a dick.
He sends back a shrugging emoji and nothing else, and you move around the apartment with a little more stomp than usual, minimally annoyed as you clean up the tables and put the leftovers away before returning to your desk to edit the videos.
Keiji arrives at Bokuto’s townhouse at 9 o’clock on the dot, knocking quietly. It’s Tsukishima who opens the door, just lifting his brows in greeting before leading him back through the living room. There’s no one else here, and Bokuto is filling bowls with chips in the kitchen.
“Hey!” he calls excitedly. “I’m so ready to be trashed!”
Keiji sets two handles of vodka and a case of Coke on the counter. “In a good way or a bad way?”
“Good, of course! Life is good!” The kinesiology student starts organizing the bowls by color, smiling to himself while he talks. “Research is good, friends are good, life is good!”
There’s a knock on the door, and Keiji’s heart jumps without his permission. He glances at the new arrivals that enter when the host yells ‘it’s open!’, and he’s oddly disappointed to see it’s just some of the people in Bokuto’s cohort.
Tsukishima dims the lights in the main room and connects his phone to the speaker, and Bokuto starts to dance while he chats up his friends and preps the kitchen with more food. Keiji stands off to the side, pouring himself a drink and nodding politely when a guy he recognizes greets him.
Thirty minutes go by like that, with Keiji standing in sight of the door and glancing up, a little nervous, every time it opens. He doesn’t know why he feels this way, but he does know it’s your fault.
He’d felt it when you’d texted him a couple hours ago, too – it was only to let him know that the video for tonight had been edited, but he’d still gotten a strange twinge of anxiety when your name had popped up on his phone. He had watched the video back, impressed at how you’d edited the tattoos out and muffled both your voices – creating what’s essentially a quiet, faceless video with only your moans to show for his performance. He’d also refrained from watching the video in too much detail, because even just skimming through it, he’d felt renewed desire stream through his veins.
He wonders if it would be too much to go back and watch it later tonight, when he has too much alcohol in his system to worry if it’s weird.
Tsukishima finds him again after a while, lingering with him in the corner. “Research?”
“‘s good,” Keiji says, lifting his drink to his lips – the second in half an hour. “Finally started writing the dissertation chapters. Should be done next year.”
“God, I’m jealous,” the blond laughs quietly. “With working at the museum, everything takes twice as long for me.”
Keiji hates that his first thought is you – that that could have been you, too. “Did your advisor tell you when you’re s’posed t’finish?” He should slow down. Water, maybe.
“Two years,” Tsukishima groans, emptying his cup and then reaching for the vodka again.
“That’s what Kuroo has left, too.”
The blond shoots him a side glance. “So?” Keiji sees the tinge of pink at the tips of his ears, so he shrugs.
“Just an observation.” The door opens behind Tsukishima, and his eyes flit to it, just over the blond’s shoulder. 
It’s a couple he doesn’t recognize, but Bokuto clearly does, his ‘hey, hey, hey!’ audible from here.
“Who are you lookin’ for?” Tsukishima dips his head into Keiji’s way, an eyebrow arched and his words slower than usual from the alcohol. “You keep doin’ that.”
Keiji blinks and clears his throat. “No one. It just-” The door opens again, and you walk through it with Kuroo and Yachi. Keiji’s throat dries up. “-catches my attention.”
Tsukishima glances back, but if he notices that you’re clearly what Keiji had been waiting for, he doesn’t say anything. He just whips his head back around, swallowing hard and taking an aggressive swig of his drink.
God bless Kuroo Tetsurou.
Keiji watches you greet Bokuto and some of his friends, your smile wide and your hugs generous. His eyes scan you carefully. You’re wearing a pair of black jeans that hugs you in all the right places – places he knows now – and red long-sleeve shirt with a v-cut so low that his mouth waters slightly. You’d covered the bruises on your throat, and there’s a piece of him – small but troublesome – that’s a little dissatisfied to see the skin smooth and mark-free. Especially with the way you giggle at something Bokuto says, the taller man smiling down at you and holding your waist in a friendly way. Keiji swallows and brushes that odd little feeling away.
His heart flips over itself when you turn in his general direction, and he’s quick to turn back to Tsukishima, blinking rapidly. He feels weird – he wants you to notice him there, wants you to say something to him, even though you’d both agreed not to act any different. You’ve never spoken to him at these parties unless absolutely necessary, so he shouldn’t be wishing for anything of the sort. 
But he wants to know that you feel weird, too. That you want his attention, too. That you don’t know why, either.
“So,” he clears his throat, getting the history student’s attention. “The museum. Have they gotten back to you about the full-time position?”
“Not explicitly,” Tsukishima responds, seeming equally grateful for the distraction. “But they basically said it’s mine whenever I’m done.”
“That’s good. Makes things a little less stressful,” Keiji says, pointedly looking down into his cup, because he feels you behind him, passing by. Your perfume makes his nostrils flare, and a shiver – traitorous and laced with want – runs down his spine. 
“Hey, Tsukishima,” you say, brushing past the taller man. “Good weekend so far?”
The blond nods. “A little pissed to get a 2am text of Bokuto screaming, but otherwise, yeah.”
You laugh gently, and Keiji’s skin floods with goosebumps. He looks at you without meaning to, and a white-hot heat sears through his stomach, because you’re already looking back. You don’t greet him or betray any visible emotion when he makes eye contact, but he sees your breathing change, and there’s a warmth that makes your skin glow in the dim light. 
You’re nervous. He’s making you nervous.
And that’s a dangerous little piece of information for him to have access to.
“Y/n,” he says, rolling your name around on his tongue like he’s tasting it for the first time. He’s glad that Tsukishima’s distractedly looking over his shoulder at Kuroo, because he doesn’t see the way your breath catches or the way your spine straightens.
“Akaashi.” It’s weak, and your voice wavers on the last syllable, cutting out and filling with the breath that you draw in sharply. His body hums when he hears it, and the urge to hear it again – the urge to witness your poorly concealed emotions – grows to the point of being unbearable.
He wants to make you nervous.
“Get started on those case marking materials yet?” He’s careful to reference the LEM meeting only, not the things you’d talked about this morning. Still, it makes you swallow, and you pluck a red solo cup from the stack before reaching for the vodka. 
“Do you really want to talk about research here?” you ask, mixing it with some of the orange juice that Yachi had dropped off a few minutes ago.
“Why not?” he says. “Tsukishima and I are.”
You level a grin at the blond, who’s tuned back in at the sound of his name. “Don’t you want a night off, Tsukishima?”
Keiji doesn’t hear what his friend’s answer is. He’s too busy dragging his gaze slowly down the length of your body while the taller man’s talking to you. You shift slightly, and his eyes find yours. You’re flitting your gaze between his and Tsukishima’s, trying to stay engaged with the conversation but also clearly distracted. Keiji just stares, his eyes unyielding on yours whenever you meet them. You drink urgently from your cup, chugging until it’s empty and then reaching back to make another, a grimace tugging on your lips.
He looks away, because he can hear Bokuto storming into the kitchen.
“Hey, my favorite pals!” He slings his arms around Keiji’s and Tsukishima’s shoulders, and Keiji tips forward into you. You yelp, barely managing to steady your drink on the counter. He slips his arm around your waist to catch himself – definitely not for any other reason – and he hears you gasp in his ear at the contact. 
“Sorry,” he mumbles, head swimming with alcohol.
“No, you’re not,” you whisper back heatedly. But Keiji can feel you leaning into him, too, your fingers brushing on his arm. 
It fills his chest with a giddy excitement – the realization that you can’t help yourself, either. 
He decides in that moment – in the mere milliseconds where Bokuto’s straightening and exclaiming in Tsukishima’s ear that the friend group should collect by the couches in the living room, the two of you completely unnoticed – that he doesn’t want to stop doing this. He doesn’t want to stop provoking you, even though he very well should. Because he can see that you don’t want it to stop, either. Because you’re searching him with wide eyes and the kind of attention that he could get high off of.
Because, in a single morning alone, Keiji’s learned to recognize when you’re turned on. 
The flush of your cheeks and the tug of your bottom lip between your teeth. The way you hug yourself, like you’re worried you might do something with those hands if you don’t. The uneven pattern of your breathing, your chest rising and falling with attempted recovery.
God, he thinks he’s turned on, too.
He swallows, leaning away and letting Bokuto sweep the three of you away into the living room. You’re still pressed to his side unwillingly, your body heat making him shiver with excitement – you smell the way you did this morning, like warmth and the laundry detergent of the sheets he’d fucked you into. Like the memory of your tears and the way you’d begged him not to stop, the memory of your walls fluttering around him and the way your back had arched when you’d come–
He scrubs drunkenly at his scrunched eyebrows, stumbling to wherever Bokuto had guided him and throwing himself down on the couch. Even with his eyes closed, he knows that the body that lands next to him is yours.
When he opens his eyes, the world a little blurry and tilted, Kuroo and Yachi have joined the group – Hitoka’s on his other side, and Bokuto’s taken the armchair, Tsukishima and Kuroo sitting awfully close together on the floor. It always happens this way – the group of you always end up in your own corner, the rest of the party carrying on without the host needing to entertain. The music is always thumping just loud enough that everyone has to raise their voices to be heard, but it’s never annoying. Never too much, never overwhelming. It’s why all these people always come back – Bokuto Koutarou’s parties are always the perfect escape.
He’s starting to understand why, tonight.
The night goes on like any other. Yachi rambles about her current dissertation progress, clearly excited to talk about her graphic design and marketing ideas. Bokuto engages her excitedly, asking if she could help him make some recruitment flyers for the volleyball class he’ll be teaching next semester. Kuroo whispers things to Tsukishima, the smirk on his lips pressed to the blond’s ear and Tsukishima’s cheeks burning with a cherry-red blush.
Which leaves Keiji with you. Surrounded by friends who are much too drunk and distracted to care what he does.
So he settles into the couch, spreading his legs to get comfortable – at least, that’s what it looks like. No one questions why he never intrudes on Yachi’s space, why he angles his body toward yours, why his knee bumps yours and then stays there. No one asks why you suddenly look nervous or why you silently decide to let his thigh press against yours. Why your own thigh, radiating gentle warmth, presses back after a moment – although it’d be completely in character for you to make some snappish remark about respecting personal space. 
No one asks why your fingers twitch on your leg, your pinky brushing up against his leg, stretching toward him and then retracting.
No one asks about the slight bulge in his jeans. Or the arm he stretches across the back of the couch – in your direction, not Yachi’s.
Your breath catches, and you lift your cup to your mouth quickly. “Cut it out,” you hiss, hidden, and he smiles down at nothing.
“‘m not doing anything,” he breathes back, unheard over the music.
“Bullshit.” 
He laughs softly, but he knows you’re right. So he extracts himself, standing carefully and pointing in explanation toward the hall when Bokuto looks up at him curiously. He pushes through the crowd, rounding the corner and taking the stairs up to the second floor. The music is quieter here, and he knows that no one else would venture this far – because everyone knows Bokuto, but no one knows Bokuto. Not like the group of you.
He disappears into the bathroom by Bokuto’s bedroom, clean and uncrowded. His phone screen reads 11:08 when he checks it – endless parties just like this, and tonight, he’s barely managing an hour and a half in the same room as you. He stares at his reflection in the mirror, breathing deep. His vision’s still a little blurry, and his head is still swimming. His cheeks are flushed, and his eyes are heated, betraying how you’re affecting him. 
He fixes himself in his jeans so it’s a little less obvious and then runs his fingers through his hair with a sigh. Now that he’s alone, he can see that he definitely needs to sober up a bit. He needs to act right, because he knows the stakes are high. His brain feels clearer, and it’s sinking in that he’s pushing the line with you. That there’s something about you – something about this morning – that makes him want to forget the rules, when he really shouldn’t.
Maybe he’s just too drunk. Maybe he’ll be better about this when he’s sober.
The memory of you crying under him flashes in his mind, and he has to shake his head, leaning his hands on the counter. Maybe those memories won’t come when he’s in control enough to stop them. He has to hope that they won’t, because right now, his mental faculties aren’t listening to him.
Right now, he’s thinking about how you’d squirmed in his lap when he’d fingered you. About how your head had knocked back lightly against the wall when you’d come on his tongue, sweet and warm and wet enough to make him just a little bit obsessed with you. About how you’d looked up at him with wide eyes while you’d jerked him off, asking if you were doing okay. Asking for his approval. 
Keiji’s breath comes hard now, and he shakes his head again in a weak attempt to clear it.
The way you’d moaned like a proper porn star when he’d pushed into you for the first time.
The way you’d felt around him, velvety and tight and like no one he’d ever been with before you.
The way you’d clung to him, desperate and scared when he’d threatened to pull away – pleas on those plush, pink lips and tears in those pretty little eyes. Bullying him rudely to his orgasm.
“Fuck,” he breathes. He needs to get it together.
He thumps himself lightly on the head a few times with the heel of his hand, silently begging his boner to go away as he turns to leave the bathroom.
You’re standing on the other side of the door, a frown on your face as you lean against the wall.
Fuck.
“What’re you up to, Akaashi?” you demand drunkenly, your lips pushing out in a whiny pout that makes his cock twitch in his jeans.
Fuck.
“What?” he says, trying to slip past you toward the stairs. You get in his way.
“We decided t’be normal,” you slur, stepping close to him. Your perfume clouds his brain. “You’re not bein’ normal.”
Your chest bumps against his when he tries to move past again, and he finds his hands on your waist before he can think it through.
“And you decided t’follow me up here,” he breathes tightly, walking you back quickly into the wall. Your eyes go wide when your back bumps against it, but the gasp that falls past your lips is because he’s pushing his hips against yours, still half-hard. “You did this.”
“I didn’t-I haven’ done anything,” you try, glancing down in hazy surprise at where he’s pressed against you. “You’re the one who keeps touchin’ me and– and teasing me.”
“Yeah? Is it fucking with you?” he coos, mocking. “Welcome t’the club.”
Your eyes search his. “'Kaashi,” you whisper, slurred. His eyes drop to your lips.
He doesn’t like it when you say his name like that. Soft and pleading. 
It makes him want to do terrible things to you.
“Careful, Y/n.”
He doesn’t mean to say it like that. He’s actually asking you to be careful, because he’s not in his right mind and you’re making it worse. You’re making everything worse, and he’s more than happy to blame this on you. But the way it comes out – the way he talks to you – is with a tone he knows better than to use outside the bedroom.
He watches the tension leave your body, and you start to blink up at him rapidly, your face burning and radiating heat into the very limited space between you. He watches your demeanor change – watches you swallow nervously and break eye contact, watches you purse your lips and breathe shallowly – and something in him aches for you.
For the first time all day, he regrets sleeping with you. Because now he’s not sure he can ever recover.
“Uhm,” you start, voice shaky. “Maybe we should go back-”
“Akaashi! Y/n!” 
You gasp, and your hands find his chest. You shove hard, and he stumbles back toward the opposite wall with wide eyes. You both turn toward the stairs, watching Bokuto trip and fall up the last few steps. He looks down the hall with wide eyes, giggling loudly when he sees you.
“There you are!” And then he narrows his gaze at you dramatically, examining the situation as he stands. “Oh, no-” He pouts, crossing his arms. “Are you two fighting? This is a party! We’re with friends!”
Keiji sobers instantly, eyes flying to yours as the reality of the night hits him. As he realizes how close you’d come to getting caught, and on the very first day at that. You look just as alarmed as he feels. He doesn’t know how he could ever have explained what’s just happened to anyone else. How things had gotten that far.
He turns without a word and brushes past Bokuto. He barrels down the stairs, ignoring Bokuto’s cry of ‘eh?! where’s he going?!’ and heading straight for the door. It slams behind him, and he races out of the building and toward the street.
He swears loudly on the entire walk home.
It isn’t until noon on Sunday that you wake up, groggy and disoriented. You slap your hand around on your bed blindly for your phone, the sunlight that’s streaming through the window making the room feel hot and making you groan. You retrieve your phone from the depths of your bed, squinting at it with a growing headache and a serious case of dry-mouth.
There are some texts from Kuroo and Yachi, asking if you feel as positively terrible as they do, and an all-caps text from Bokuto to the massive group chat, thanking everyone for coming to the party. There’s even a text from Tsukishima, asking if you got home alright and if you know where Akaashi had gone.
Akaashi.
You roll over and bury your face in the pillow, groaning loudly. He’d left so abruptly, and you’d even texted him – multiple times – to drunkenly ask where he’d gone and if he was okay. You check those texts now, clicking into the thread.
[11:16 PM]
You: whewred yiu go>?!?!
You: are yoim okai???
[11:59 PM]
You: akaaaaaashiiiii
You: whyaw didn yoo leave so sunddnly?
[12:39 AM]
You: at lest tellme if tju got ahaome safew
[9:19 AM]
Akaashi: im fine thanks
Your lips twist into a scowl, and you throw your phone down, minorly annoyed by his response. He’d run out of the party without a single word, after teasing you all night and then pinning you up against the wall and fucking with your head. And now he’s going to act cold to you, like he hadn’t admitted to wanting you last night?
Whatever.
You kick your legs over the side of the bed, ignoring the throbbing pain in your head as you stumble down the hallway to shower and get ready for the day. You make a pot of coffee and rummage through your fridge for something that’ll fix your hangover, and then you settle down at your desk and check your personal email, just to see if the new video with Akaashi had been received well.
There’s a string of emails sitting right at the top of your inbox, the last received at 10am.
[10:00 AM] Account Updates (Oct. 22) – New Followers: 2,139; New Comments: 608; New Video View Count: 87,903
[9:36 AM] Congratulations! Your new video has made over $500.
[5:02 AM] Congratulations! Your new video has made over $400.
[3:47 AM] Congratulations! Your new video has made over $300.
[1:59 AM] Congratulations! Your new video has made over $200.
[10:29 PM] Congratulations! Your new video has made over $100.
You stare at the subject lines, your head swimming.
“Holy shit.”
You log into your account in a rush of adrenaline, unable to believe this is really happening. You click quickly into your profile and scroll down to the section for profit information.
$529 dollars, made off of the video of Akaashi fingering you.
That’s almost everything you have in your bank account – doubled in one night.
That’s rent.
That’s rent.
“Holy shit.” You sit back and stare at the number for ten minutes, watching in growing shock as it flicks to $535 and then to $541 in that span of time. You’ve got 137 message requests sitting in the top right corner – 137 more opportunities to make money, if you just dedicate an hour or two a day to sending off quick and flirty one-liners to the horny men flooding your inbox.
Your hand reaches for your phone, because you have to tell Akaashi the amazing news – but then you remember how odd his last text had been. You frown slightly and put your phone back down. You don’t have anyone else to talk to about this – and you want to talk about this, to marvel and wonder at how this could have happened – but you don’t want him to ruin your mood, either.
So you don’t. You don’t tell him – if he wants to know how the video did, he can look for himself. He’s a collaborator on the account now. 
You just roll your shoulders back and pull up your video editing software, getting to work.
You have money to make.
“Are you okay?” Yachi says the next morning, watching you with thin amusement as you yawn so wide that your jaw cracks. You nod sleepily, following her into the coffee shop.
“Just a long night. ‘m okay.” You scrub at your brow, suppressing another yawn while you wait in line. You’d spent most of yesterday editing the other two videos and responding to messages, and then you’d taken three hours to record solo content, staying up until nearly 3am editing those videos, too. You’d hoped that the solo content wouldn’t lose you followers, actually, since it had been clear just how well-received the partner content is.
But the work had been worth it, because you’d posted one of the solo videos last night and woken up to 500 more followers and another $300 in profit, both from the video with Akaashi and from the spillover of the new followers going back through your old videos and the new solo video. It turns out your solo content is good; it just hadn’t gotten enough traction to make any money. Now, there’s a lot of traffic to even your first couple videos, and every video is bringing in money.
So, even though you’re falling asleep while standing in a coffee shop at 9am, you feel that every moment of sleep lost was a moment of incoming financial peace.
“D’you know what you want yet?” Yachi asks, peering at the menu. “I’m not sure.”
“You get the same thing every time,” you state simply, only smiling when she shoots you a sideways glance. “But I can go first, if you’re totally not sold yet on your medium almond milk vanilla latte.”
“Yes, please,” she says brightly, and you cut past her to get to the counter. You order your drink and a breakfast sandwich, feeling for the first time in weeks that there’s no crippling guilt when you spend the money. It feels nice, being able to give yourself even this small treat.
“Y/n!” 
You flinch at the booming voice, already identifying its owner. You turn, stepping off to the side to let Yachi order while you smile at an excited Bokuto. The man bounds up to you, arms swinging, and you’re left wondering how he could possibly have any energy this early.
“Hi, Kou – How was your Sunday?”
“Oh, you know.” He shrugs. “Spent it cleaning vomit out of my rug. But I slept like a little baby, so I feel great today!” He glances past you. “Hitoka!”
The little blond woman flinches at the volume, much like you had, and turns after she pays, joining you with a grin. “Kou! Still on to talk about those recruitment flyers later?”
“Oh, God, yes! I need you!” Bokuto seems to almost vibrate in place, and you let them talk, keeping an ear out for your order while you shut your eyes to let out a deep yawn.
“Hi, Yachi.”
The yawn dissipates in your throat. You snap your head around, finding Akaashi hovering at Bokuto’s shoulder. He’s smiling politely down at Yachi, one hand tucked into his fall coat and the other gripping an extra-large coffee cup. The tired look in his eye tells you he’d lost sleep over something, even though neither Bokuto nor Yachi comment on it.
“Hi, Akaashi,” Yachi says. “We missed you at the party after you left.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” he laughs quietly. “I started to feel pretty sick, so I left.”
“Aw, that’s unfortunate,” she commiserates. “Are you feeling better?”
“I am, thank you.” He nods, his body language and manners betraying that well-spoken, gentle demeanor that everyone speaks so highly about. You wonder how many people know that Akaashi’s a complete mess before he’s had coffee and anything but gentle in bed.
He turns to Bokuto now, speaking softly. “Ready? I have to teach.”
The silver-haired man nods happily, waving at you and Yachi. “Gotta go! See you lovely ladies at lunch!”
You wave him off, flicking your eyes to Akaashi. He’s got his gaze on you as he passes, emotionless and bordering on disinterest. He doesn’t say a word to you, and then he’s gone, leaving you in the wake of his silence and his annoyingly attractive cologne.
You frown slightly, only pulled away by the sound of your name at the counter. You collect your drink and breakfast, finding Yachi scowling deeply beside you as she stares out the door.
“What an asshole,” she grumbles, only shrugging when you bite out a surprised laugh. “He didn’t even say hi to you! That’s so rude.”
“That’s just how he is,” you mutter, staring down at the lid of your cup.
That’s just how he’s always been. So why does it feel so much worse now?
It happens again, only twenty minutes later.
You’d left Yachi at the crossroads separating the Linguistics building and the Marketing building, waving and wishing her good luck with her morning of teaching and dissertation work. You’d trekked up to your office, dropping your things off and heading back down to the first floor quickly in order to make some copies of the handout for your Syntax discussion. You stand in the administrative office while the copies print, and then – after a full minute of arguing with yourself – you make the copies for Akaashi’s section, too. Because the two of you had always had that system, and you wouldn’t allow him to see that he’s affected you enough to impact your professional relationship.
You leave them in both mailboxes and head to the elevator, your coffee sipped slowly as you make your way down the long hallway. There’s an open classroom door on your left, a quiet voice slipping out and echoing in the empty hall.
“...the exponence of morphological features will arise differently depending on the language and its family – take agglutinating languages, for example-”
You glance toward the room, knowing that soft, steady voice anywhere.
Akaashi’s turning his back to the classroom, lifting his right hand toward the chalkboard, when you see him. He’s shed his fall coat, folded over the back of his chair now, and you take him in properly as you pass, as though in slow motion. He’s wearing his standard black slacks and white button-down, but there’s no accompanying sweater vest on top today, completely changing his cozy, boy-next-door vibe into something much more flustering. 
He’s got the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled haphazardly up to his elbows, which you know is a public speaking habit of his. His left hand sits tucked into the pocket of his slacks, a few thin, silver bracelets stacked on that wrist and his tattoo easy to spot on his right forearm as he lifts it to the board. His hair falls into his eyes a bit, and his glasses sit neatly on his face, perfectly completing the dreadfully sexy professorial energy he’s exuding.
You’re hit with a wave of attraction, worsened when his gaze finds yours through the open doorway. He holds the eye contact as he turns, and you see it’s that same, detached look he’s giving you. But whatever he’s seeing on your face – likely mortifying, given the warmth flooding your face – has one of his eyebrows lifting, a scowl pulling on his lips. He tears his eyes from yours, finally pressing the chalk in his hand to the board in front of him.
“Languages like Korean, Japanese, and Turkish – although in different language families – bear their exponence in a transparent manner, with morphemes stacking in a particular way depending on how the morphological features are assigned and collected…”
You pause just past the door, out of sight, and feel entirely out of place with the strange gnawing sensation that’s beginning to form in your chest. 
You try your best not to let him get to you throughout the day, but you still find yourself sitting in your office half an hour before lunch, anyway, wondering if you should try talking to him. You know he’s across the hall, and you wonder if maybe you just need a few minutes alone with him to figure out why he’s acting so strange. Had the party really screwed things up that much between you?
You stand and head to the door, stepping into the hall and even making it as far as the single step to his door, your hand raised to knock, before you stop. You hesitate. Maybe he’s upset with you, for whatever reason. Had you done anything bad at the party? No, you don’t think so. It had mostly been his doing, even though he’d blamed you for it outside the bathroom. You don’t think you’d actually done anything except be there, and he can’t really be mad at you for that.
Still, you turn back to your office, suddenly uncertain about confronting him. You return to your desk, settling down with a conflicted sigh and opening your laptop to keep working until lunch.
Your phone buzzes on the desk.
[1:45 PM]
Akaashi: what is it?
Your heart jumps, and you type quickly.
You: nothing
Akaashi: you were going to knock
You: it’s fine
Akaashi: just tell me.
You groan, trying to figure out what to say. ‘I wanted to see if we’re okay’ is completely unhinged and a little bit crazy, and ‘Just checking on you after the party’ is entirely out of character for you. So you just sigh and type up the best excuse you can.
You: was just gonna tell you the first video made over 500
You: and my other stuff is making money now too
You: my rent for november is covered
You: so.. thanks ig
There’s a minute or two of silence before he answers, a minute or two that feel distinctly longer.
Akaashi: …
Akaashi: you were seriously coming to say that to me?
Akaashi: out loud? here?
Akaashi: really, y/n?
You bristle, filled with an irrational anger. Obviously, that’s not what you’d been going to his office to talk about, because obviously you know better. But you hadn’t been able to come up with anything better to tell him, and now you’re being scolded for it.
And how dare he say that to you, after he’d been all over you on Saturday night? In front of all your friends, no less?
You type an angry response.
You: well i didnt DO it, did i?
You: unlike you, i have decent judgment of what should and shouldnt be done in public.
Akaashi: excuse me?
Akaashi: wtf is that supposed to mean??????
You: use that brain of yours and figure it tf out.
Akaashi: you have decent judgment of what shouldnt be done in public?
Akaashi: yet you just LOVE to keep your windows open
Akaashi: dont you, y/n
There’s a piece of you, larger than you’d ever admit, that loves to be the person who makes Akaashi Keiji’s perfect little walls come crashing down.
You: at least thats done in the privacy of my own home
You: not the privacy of someone else’s 
You: especially not with all our friends right around the corner
Akaashi: oh go to hell
You: see you there, freak.
You throw your phone down and let out an irritated scream that echoes off the walls of your office. You’re certain Akaashi’d heard it, but you can’t bring yourself to care what he thinks or doesn’t think of you today.
You work until lunch, distracted and angry while you respond to emails and grade a few assignments. When Bokuto texts your small group chat asking about lunch, Kuroo’s expected response of ‘We meet every SINGLE day, Bokuto!’ coming in only seconds later, you slam your laptop shut and pack up.
Akaashi’s leaving his office at the same time as you. He frowns instantly when he sees you, and you scowl openly at him.
“Think you might have a banshee in your office,” he says tightly, pulling his door closed and walking off ahead of you. “There was a demonic scream echoing in the hall earlier.”
You roll your eyes, following him to the elevator. “Worry about your own office, Akaashi. There’s an icy bitch inhabiting your desk.”
He snorts, jamming his finger against the down button. “That’s real classy, Y/n. Can you afford lunch today, or do you need a loaner?”
You whip your head around, staring up at him in shock. His eyes slide shut right away, jaw clenched, and he lets out a deep sigh. When he looks at you again, his gaze is full of regret.
“Sorr-”
“I’ll take the stairs,” you snap, turning on your heel and marching toward the stairwell.
“Y/n-” You hear him follow behind you, even as the elevator dings with its arrival. You throw the door open, ignoring as it slams against the wall, and stomp down the five flights of stairs. He barely stops the door from shutting in his face, his voice echoing in the empty hallway as he flies down the steps after you. “Y/n, come on-”
“Fuck you,” you spit, refusing to look at him even as he’s catching up to you on the landing between the third and fourth floors.
He wraps his hand around your bicep, spinning you around to him. “I’m sorry, okay? That was fucked up-”
You snatch your arm back. “Why did you follow me, Akaashi? You want your 20% now or something? Sorry, I have to transfer it over to my bank first, if that’s fucking okay with you.”
His face scrunches up in irritation. “That’s not what I was saying-”
“You want me to cover your lunch? How’s that? You worried I’m not good for my word?” You spin back around, continuing your march. He sighs angrily behind you.
“You’re so fucking insufferable sometimes,” he snaps.
“Then cut your losses and get out while you can, asshole.”
He’s silent for a moment as he follows you, and then he’s bitter with his response. “You need me.”
You whirl around, cornering him against the wall by the fire exit on the first floor. Your voice drops to a hiss, rage seething in your veins as you lean up into his face. “I’d rather be homeless than fuck you again, Akaashi Keiji.”
He grits his teeth, and he takes your face in one hand, fingertips digging into your cheeks and squeezing tight. You let out a quiet noise of surprise, eyes widening marginally. His eyes are dead of emotion now, but you can see in the fluttering clench of his jaw that he’s angry with you.
“Don’t-” He squeezes your face and pulls you closer, breath fanning out over your lips. “-make threats you can’t follow through on, Y/n.” He lifts his brows knowingly. “You need me.”
You shudder in his grasp, eyes flicking between his and chest heaving with angry breaths. There’s a moment of panic in your chest, because you do need him. You do need him, but he doesn’t need you.
Then why is he so adamant about keeping you?
You scan him quickly, realizing that his chest is heaving, too. That he looks just as frustrated – that his eyebrow is twitching and that his eyes are searching yours. That he’s swallowing hard, waiting for your response.
He needs this, too. You don’t know why, but that much is clear to you. And it’s enough.
“What’s wrong, Akaashi?” you murmur, watching his eyes drop to your lips when you respond. “Worried I’ll find someone else to fuck and throw you away?” 
His fingers tighten on your face, but you see it – the panic that you feel, reflected in his eyes. It makes your chest swell with satisfaction, and something else you can’t place. Something like relief.
“Shut up,” he hisses. “Shut up, Y/n-”
His phone rings in his coat pocket, loud and jarring and ripping you right out of this moment with him. His eyes widen, and you raise a hand to smack his arm away, and then you stumble back as he fumbles for his phone.
It’s Bokuto, if the muffled screaming on the other end is enough to tell you anything.
“Hi, Bokuto,” Akaashi mutters, the heat in his voice gone – the polite, sweet, soft-spoken walls coming right back up, brick by brick. “Yeah. I’m on my way.” His eyes flick to you, empty. “Yeah. She’s with me.” He stares right into your eyes, that dead expression solidifying on his face. “Yes. I’ll tell her to check her many messages.”
You pat your pockets quickly, wondering how you could have been so caught up with Akaashi that you’d missed something. Your eyes go wide when you look at the screen – it’s been ten minutes since you’d said you’d meet them for lunch, and Bokuto’s spam-called you six times.
[2:36 PM]
Kou: Y/N!!!!!!! ARE YOU OKAYYYYYYY??????
You type back a quick response.
[2:41 PM]
You: yes omg sorry im omw now
Kou: PLEASE DONT BE FIGHTING WITH AKAASHIIIIII
You: we’re not i promise!!! be there soon
“We’re not gonna have time to eat,” you mumble to yourself – you both need to be in Syntax in twenty minutes. Akaashi brushes past you, heading out the fire exit door.
“Walk fast and eat faster, then.”
You follow behind, sighing heatedly. “I hate you,” you bite under your breath.
“Yeah, well-” His long strides don’t have any intention of accommodating you as he heads to the dining hall. “-I’m not so fucking fond of you, either.”
By the time lunch is over, even Kuroo’s texting you asking if something had happened.
Tuesday morning doesn’t go much better.
You’re still angry from the day before, short of patience as you get ready to bike to the LEM meeting and already itching for another fight by the time you settle into one of the chairs in the lab room. Other people file in slowly, and you manage to mask your anger long enough to smile at everyone and ask about their weekend. Your advisor pats you on the shoulder in a fatherly way when he enters, sighing deep as he settles in beside you.
“You’re not presenting today, right?” he asks, checking his phone for emails idly.
“No, I don’t have the pilot data yet,” you mumble regretfully. He just shrugs, shaking his head.
“You have a lot going on. No need to stress about it just yet.” And then he eyes you over his bifocals. “Have you figured something out, though?”
You warm, because Akaashi’s cologne is drifting into the room, just over your shoulder. You know that he’s heard it, because he lingers for just long enough before moving to the TV that you can tell he’d been caught off guard.
“Yes,” you say under your breath, your ears burning. “I figured something out, thank you. I should be good to start data collection next week.”
“Good to hear.” Your advisor nods, and you let out a steadying breath. “Okay,” he says, louder and to the group, clapping his hands. “We have Keiji for updates first, and then-” he points between two of your other cohort-mates. “-you two can fight over who goes next.”
You watch Akaashi go straight into his 20-minute run, explaining some updates he’d made to his theoretical framing and some more thoughts he has for his dissertation. You, as usual, are convinced of his logic, but there’s something about the way he refuses to look at you – cyan eyes passing over you like you’re a ghost – that makes your blood boil. Something about the way he nearly rolls his eyes when he accidentally does meet your gaze, because he can certainly see the burning anger all over your face.
Maybe that’s why – even though you don’t have a single piece of criticism to give him – you open your mouth when he asks ‘Any questions?’ in that gentle tone you hate so much.
“I have one.”
Everyone’s head whips around to you, because you never speak during Akaashi Keiji’s Q&A session. 
But it’s Akaashi’s reaction that spurs you on. His eyes fly to yours when he hears your voice, and you watch shock, confusion, irritation, and – finally – vague interest flit across his face in a matter of milliseconds.
“Okay?” he says, the confusion slipping through in the uptick of his voice.
“Your proposed analysis – what are the implications it has for research testing native Korean speakers?”
He lifts one eyebrow, and you feel the room shift. 
“You’re asking me-” The other brow joins in now. “-how my research applies to yours?”
You clench your jaw, searching his gaze. He’d said it like he was offended, but you can see he’s pushing you. “I’m asking how your analysis can be used by other linguists in the field – not just to study the grammar of native Korean speakers theoretically, but to study the grammar empirically. With real data-”
“I have data-”
“You have judgments,” you snap. “Native Korean speaker judgments from your consultants. Two consultants, yes?” He nods, and you nod back. “Right. And you expect your two consultants’ individual grammars to speak systematically for the whole of the Korean grammar?”
It’s a cheap shot, but a valid one – for someone else. Not for Akaashi. You know this well enough, that the primary job of theoretical syntacticians is to formulate analyses and proposals of a language’s grammar. You know well enough that it’s not his job to figure out if his analysis will make the cut if tested with a large sample of speakers.
That’s your job. And the job of experimentalists more broadly. It’s your job to take his theory and prove it right or wrong. It’s only his job to craft his logic and evidence in a way that makes the argument worth proving.
And Akaashi knows that, too.
“What would you like me to do, Y/n?” he asks tightly. “Would you like me to run the experiment myself and put you out of a job?”
“Okay-” your advisor starts to cut in, but you speak over him.
“What about all the previous research, Akaashi? The research that’s tested syntactic analyses which differ from yours but still find supporting results? Would you like the field to throw all that away and believe you instead? How do you account for those findings? What’s the bigger picture?”
His eyes light up, molten hot. “What I’d like is a unified syntax of Korean case marking, which the field has been missing for decades. It’s up to someone like you to test my theory; it’s up to someone like me to take your results and update my analysis, over and over and over again until we get it right. That’s what linguistics is about.”
You lean forward, elbows digging into the wooden table. It’s quiet enough in the room that you can hear him breathing across the room, ragged and rough and irritated.
“If you want someone like me to go through the trouble of testing your theory, you should do a better job of convincing me it’s worth my time.” You glare hard at him, your heart skipping when you watch that wall come down. He looks exactly the same, poised and perfect and well-mannered, but his eyes betray how badly he wants to tell you exactly what’s on his mind. 
So you smile at him, cold and mocking, and push him over the edge. “Or else linguistics will move on without you.”
“Okay!” you advisor says, looking between you and Akaashi with wide eyes. “I think we get it, you two. Let’s move on to someone else, please – I’m too old for this.”
You stand quickly, the chair scraping across the floor, and barge from the room. 
“Y/n!” your advisor calls just as the door is slamming behind you. A moment later, you hear his voice again, muffled. “Keiji!”
The door swings open, and the sound of the lab erupting in chaos echoes through the hall, your advisor’s ‘okay, okay, settle down everyone-’ muted by the door shutting again.
“What the hell is your problem?” Akaashi bites behind you, and you glance back while you walk, finding him stalking after you. You roll your eyes, heading for your office. 
“You heard my problem. Your research is isolated and inapplicable-”
“Inapplicable-”
“Goodbye, Akaashi,” you snap, unlocking the door and shouldering your way inside. You throw it shut behind you, but his hand slams down on the wood, startling you. You whirl around with wide eyes and watch him slam the door, the frosted glass window rattling from the force. The two of you are left in the silence of your office, both of your breaths audible in the space between you.
“Inapplicable?” he hisses again, eyes glinting.
“What do you want me to say, Akaashi?” you bark, letting him get in your face. “You want me to just ignore that you’re not thinking about the consequences of your own research?” You poke him hard in the chest. “If you don’t take responsibility for the work you’re putting out into the field, then don’t expect me to be okay with fumbling to use your grammar to explain my data.”
He pushes forward, cornering you against your desk. “That’s exactly what your job is, Y/n. It’s your responsibility to figure out what speakers are doing, just like it’s my responsibility to figure out how to explain that. And you’re not stupid enough to believe otherwise. We need each other-”
“No, what I need-” You stand tall, feeling his breath mingle with yours in the space between your lips. “-is to not be handed another ‘grammar of Korean’ that’s been decreed into a fucking void.”
He doesn’t say a word, just letting his eyes flit between yours angrily. He’s breathing hard, just as hard as you are, and his eyebrows are twitching as he glares down at you. You hold your ground, whispering an admission to him.
“You might be a genius, Akaashi, but you really need to be put in your place sometimes.”
You watch in real time as his demeanor changes.
The anger drains from his body language and his face, leaving him with shock and a lip that’s curling in amusement as he stares down at you with wide eyes.
“Oh, is that right?” he breathes. “And-what? You think you’re gonna do that for me?” You start to protest, but he just takes a step forward, sudden and forceful, and you take a surprised seat on the desk with a gasp. He towers over you, that smile dangerous. “You really think you can do that, Y/n? When you aren’t even confident enough in your own work?”
Your brows furrow, offended. “What-”
“With your shy little smile and your uncertain little laugh when you present to the lab-” he whispers, breath fanning over you as you stare up at him. “With that fucking look you get in your eye,” he growls under his breath. “Like you don’t know what to make of your own research. Of your own skills. Makes me fucking sick.”
You try to stand, but he just leans down, planting his hands on either side of you. His nose brushes yours, and his eyes fill with a heat that isn’t anger. It’s something else, and you can’t place it.
He lifts his eyebrows. “You think you can put me in my place? That would mean we’re on the same level, wouldn’t it? Is that what you’re saying?” When you don’t respond, he speaks slower, like he’s talking down to you. 
“Are you a genius, too, Y/n?”
You scowl at him. “I’m not beneath you, Akaashi. I never have been.”
He shifts, and you finally place it – that heat in his eyes, the one that burns through you and makes your heart race.
It’s excitement.
It excites him to fight with you like this.
And the smile that stretches across his face, tinged with what you can only describe as pride, is starting to excite you, too. Because fighting with him feels good. Because you can see that it makes him feel good, too. It feels good to be pushed like this, to show someone else who you really are and be accepted for that, good or bad. 
Especially the bad. 
This may be the first time you’ve ever been glad that Akaashi Keiji treats you differently.
He steps impossibly closer to you, and you find your thighs parting to let him into the space before you can realize it. His smile grows, and his breath hitches in time with the lurch of anticipation that fills you, because he’s leaning down over you, forcing you to collapse back onto your elbows.
“If you’re a genius, Y/n,” he whispers, carding his fingers ever so gently through your hair. You shudder, chest heaving with a gasp when he pulls taut, fisting your hair painfully in his hand. His eyes twinkle with that terrifying excitement that makes your veins sing for him, and you’re distantly aware that he’s hard against your inner thigh. “Then I want you to fucking act like it.”
The shaky breath you let out is laced with a moan, and his gaze flies down to your lips, his smile stretching into something wild and wicked. He meets your eyes again, that blue-green gaze piercing when he asks–
“Do you think you can do that?”
You shiver, the reaction visceral and entirely visible to him. He smiles and whispers ‘I thought so’, his breath forming goosebumps on your skin.
And then there’s a hard knock on your office door.
“Y/n?” your advisor calls, his blurry shadow visible through the window as he stands just on the other side of the door – on the other side of the terribly compromising position Akaashi has you in on your desk.
Your breath catches, and you struggle against him. “Akaashi-”
He pulls you up quickly with wide eyes, and you both frantically fix your appearances in silence for the half-second it takes you to call ‘It’s open!’ to the door. Akaashi latches onto your arm and drags you forward in a panic, stepping behind you to partially shield himself from view – you have to keep from snickering, because the door’s being pushed open cautiously. 
Your advisor stands in the doorway, examining the two of you with wary eyes. “Are you both alive and in one piece?”
You and Akaashi nod. “Sorry for storming out like that,” you say. “I was… a bit heated.”
The old man snorts. “Oh, really? I couldn’t tell. We had to end early because no one could focus.” He looks over your head at Akaashi. “And you left all your stuff in the lab. Were you heated, too?”
Akaashi clears his throat. “Uh… a bit?”
Your advisor sighs and shakes his head. “I’m gonna start putting you two through hell if you don’t cut it out. Force you to say nice things about each other, or look into each other’s eyes for a full minute, or something.” 
You laugh nervously. “We’re fine. Sorry.”
He rolls his eyes but moves on. “Did you both apply for Ling Expo? We talked about it in the meeting, but some members of the group went missing.”
You flush, shifting your weight. Akaashi’s fingers find the back of your shirt, tugging you back to where you were so he can remained covered. 
“Yes,” he says behind you. “I submitted the abstract last week.” 
You nod in agreement. “Me, too.”
The man sighs, nodding back. “We’re all going again this year, so make sure to block the weekend of November 15th off.” You both make noises of understanding, and he takes a moment to look between you. His eyes narrow as he examines you, and then Akaashi over your head, and then you again. He purses his lips and hums. “There’s something about this situation that makes me want to make you leave this door open, but I’m not your father, so…” 
A rush of heat washes over you, and Akaashi coughs awkwardly behind you. 
“Are you allowed to say that?” he mumbles, and your advisor throws his head back, giving a belly laugh as he shakes his head. 
“It’s none of my business what you two get up to in your free time.”
You chuckle nervously. “Are you allowed to say that?”
His laugh, loud and booming and satisfied, can be heard down the hall long after he’s gone.
Keiji collapses into his chair, slumping down over his desk and burying his face in his folded arms.
“Fuck,” he groans, muffled and inaudible outside of himself. He thumps a fist on the desk twice, overwhelming embarrassment flooding every cell in his body.
What the hell was he thinking, cornering you against your desk like that? Why is he entirely incapable of containing himself when he’s alone with you? What had you done to him – what witchcraft has taken hold over him?
When he’d woken up on Sunday, he’d spent several hours in a puddle of dread, unmoving from his bed as he’d stared at the ceiling and contemplated what to do. He’d chalked most of his behavior from the party up to the alcohol, but he also knows himself well enough to know that he’d only acted that way because those feelings – those desires that had been threaded under his skin – were lingering somewhere unreachable inside him.
He’d decided by the end of the day that he would need to overcompensate in order to keep your mutual friends from catching on to the fact that there’s a live wire inside him that sparks dangerously every time he even so much as thinks about you. He would need to be more detached than ever if he were to stand any chance of keeping this arrangement with you a secret.
And then he’d overdone it, in that cafe yesterday morning. He’d ignored you deliberately, and he could feel almost instantly when your energy had shifted. And when he’d seen you pass by his class, he’d been a mix of surprised – because seeing you had thrown his heart into his throat and had scattered his thoughts like loose paper – and desperate not to let his students see that he’d lost his train of thought. So he’d scowled at you like you were the last thing he’d ever want to see, and, in the midst of rattling off knowledge that’s been sitting idly in the back of his mind for years, he’d felt a twinge of regret that he’d reacted that way.
And he’d known that you were coming to check in on him. He’d known – by the way you’d lingered at his door, by the way your weight had shifted, by the way your steps had sounded so uncertain – that you were confused. That you wanted to know why he was acting this way. But he’d felt an overwhelming panic at the idea that you might be able to sense his real feelings for what they are – that you’d be able to see just by looking at him that he’s almost concerningly attracted to you. So he’d lashed out over text, and then he’d lashed out at the elevator bay, because even when you’d called him an ‘icy bitch’, all he could focus on was the snarky edge to your voice and how badly he’d wanted to smother it.
When you’d threatened – emptily, but anxiety-inducing nonetheless – to put this arrangement to bed and move on from him, he’d lost his mind in that stairwell. He’d lost his mind, and he’d let his nerves show. And you’d latched onto them instantly, because, as he’s coming to learn, you can read him a little too well.
And that’s terrifying.
It’s terrifying to wonder, in a room full of all of Keiji’s peers – in front of his own advisor, for fuck’s sake – if his attraction to you when you level him with that challenging glare is as palpable to everyone else as it is to him.
It’s terrifying to wonder if you can see what a confused, muddled mess of a man he’s become since sleeping with you. Ricocheting between wanting you and hating you and somewhere right in the middle, where he feels both.
He’s found himself in that middle ground often over the last 48 hours.
And then he’d cornered you against your desk, not even ten minutes ago, and bullied you to your limit – forcing the admission of your own capabilities from your lips like psychological torture, entirely unable to hide how much that had excited him. How much it had affected him, watching you fold like that for him. 
But you’d shown yourself to him, too. You’d shown him how excited you’d gotten when you’d realized how he was feeling. You’d shown him that this terrible, confusing knot of uncontainable want that twists in his gut when he meets your eyes– 
It’s mutual.
And that – that is more dangerous than anything before it.
Keiji sits up, hands shaking slightly as he presses circles into his temples and leans back in his chair. He slides his laptop in front of him and opens it, navigating to the site for Ling Expo in order to clear his thoughts.
A small part of a much larger conference event that hosts multiple different departments all engaging in their own specialized events for three days straight, Ling Expo is held every year in mid-November and boasts the largest gathering of linguistic scholars in the whole of Japan.
At least, that’s what it says on the home page when he scrolls through it.
In reality, the LEM members – all students of his advisor – are carted away for a weekend to Tokyo’s largest hotel and conference center, regardless of whether or not any of them are presenting. He gets out of a Friday of teaching and spends three days networking, and – luckily – hanging out with his friends, because every department at this university has a group that goes.
Thankfully, it’s all paid for by the university. And, hopefully, he might not find himself in any weird academic standoffs with you this year. The two of you had always been careful not to let your rivalry become clear externally, because that reeks of a lack of professionalism, but there was always something that would tip the weekend into a mess of underhanded comments and awkward encounters in the extensive buffet line.
Maybe this time, things would be different.
Well, things are already different, so he’s not really fooling himself with this positive thinking. Because different could be good or bad.
His phone buzzes in his back pocket, and he closes the tab for Ling Expo while he extracts it. It’s a text sent to the group chat of the larger friend group, only ever used when Bokuto’s too impatient to text both of his smaller groups.
[12:17 PM]
Bokuto: DID YOU GUYS SEE THERES A NEW CLUB OPENING TODAY???? 
Bokuto: WE H A V E TO GO!!!!
Keiji sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. The last thing he needs is to get caught in another terrifying encounter with you, especially at some crowded club with all his friends there to witness it, but he knows how Bokuto can get when he’s told no. So he just opens his calendar, checking what else he would have had planned tonight.
There’s nothing, but there is something for tomorrow night that catches his eye and makes his heart lurch.
‘Research Updates’ is blocked off from 8pm to midnight, seemingly innocuous. Just as it had been on Saturday morning, from 8am to noon.
He sighs, staring down at the scheduled time. Is that still happening? Surely, it would be, right? 
But, things between you the last two days had been anything but cordial. And you had threatened to end the arrangement, even if it had been empty. 
You text the group chat back, an agreement to go, and he sighs quietly.
He supposes he can go, too.
The booming music pounds in Keiji’s head as he squints around in the dark. There’s a pair of hands on his shoulders, guiding him through a sea of people he would rather not be pressed into at the moment. He’s glad he’d decided to change into jeans and a t-shirt, because the slacks-button-down combo would have him soaked in sweat already.
And he’s especially glad you decided to change into a slinky black dress that he never would have guessed that you would own. You’re pushing through the crowd just in front of him now, and he’s sneaking glances down at you as the group fights to find an empty booth.
“There!” Bokuto eventually yells, stretching one of the hands on Keiji’s shoulder out over the distance, locating a singular empty booth. Keiji flinches at the noise, but he follows after you, anyway. You’ve got two hands on Yachi, who has two hands on Kuroo, who has two hands on Tsukishima, who’s complaining while he parts the crowd with his massive frame and leads the group to the table.
Keiji contemplates putting two hands on you, too, because it’s objectively most efficient for keeping the group together. But he doesn’t know how you’ll react – not after his total lapse in judgment in your office earlier. He doesn’t know if you even want him to touch you, now that your head’s probably a bit clearer than it’d been while you’d been trapped under him.
But then there’s a rush of people bumping into him, and he loses you for a moment, so he reaches out as soon as he finds you again – he justifies it as listening to instructions, because Bokuto’s screaming ‘Grab onto her, Akaashi!’ in his ear.
His hands slide across your waist, and a shiver runs down his spine at how you feel under his fingers. You jump at the contact and glance back in panic, probably thinking he’s some weird stranger trying to make a move. When you see it’s just him, you relax a little, but then your eyes fill with nerves, and you’re whipping your head back around to face away from him.
The crowd sways and shifts, forcing the line of you to bunch up in order to not be separated. Bokuto stumbles forward at some point, propelling Keiji right into you. You yelp, tripping, but he catches you, hauling you back against his chest. His breath catches and his heart rate picks up at the feeling of you pressed against him – your perfume wafts over him, and he finds himself leaning down close to your shoulder to breathe it in.
“What are you doing?” you hiss, tensing when his left hand subtly leaves the safety of your waist and slides around you, nestling you back against him more.
“Nothing,” he mumbles back, swallowing and retracting his hand back to your waist. “Just-nothing.”
You glance up at him, hearing his fumble, but it must be too dark to see the flush that spreads across his cheeks, because you only look forward again and focus on following Yachi. He examines you while the group nears the shockingly still-empty booth – he realizes your dress is riding up your thighs, likely from the stumbling and shoving that’s happening in this crowd right now. It rides up enough that he can see the lace edge of your pantyline, and he has to swallow hard, distracted by a memory of lace in other ways.
He reaches down, shielded by the dark, and tugs on the hem of your dress, pulling it back down over your ass. You yelp, looking up at him with alarm.
“Akaashi!” 
He shakes his head tightly, turning you back to the front and leaning down toward you. “Your ass was out – I was fixing it-”
You sigh loudly, turning your mouth to his ear. “You can’t just put your hands on me like that-”
“I can’t?” he bites, not an ounce of heat behind it. “You were fine with it earlier-” He grunts, because you’re driving an elbow into his gut.
“Dumbass,” you grumble, but he sees the warmth in your ears, and he smiles despite himself. 
Tsukishima reaches the table, and the six of you pile into the rounded booth that’s certainly not meant for six. Keiji’s chest presses against your shoulder, and you’re kind enough to angle your body with his so that you’re not digging into his chest painfully. Bokuto calls out across the table.
“I’ll get drinks!” He disappears back into the crowd, and Keiji wonders for a moment if Bokuto can carry enough drinks for six people. Kuroo seems to have the same thought, the man smacking Tsukishima on the arm and pointing out into the ocean of bodies.
“Go with him!”
The blond shakes his head forcefully. “No fucking way – you go!”
Kuroo groans but pushes Tsukishima out of the booth so he can stumble back into the crowd. Keiji relaxes with a sigh as the four of you left fill the booth more comfortably. Yachi starts rambling brightly to Tsukishima about the club, making comments about the music and the dancing. The blond just blinks back at her with empty, unseeing eyes, nodding occasionally. Keiji gets the feeling he can’t hear a word she’s saying.
You shift next to Keiji, your thigh bumping against his, and he finds himself tracing his gaze over your body while you look out at the dance floor. You feel him looking, and you glance up at him with a raised eyebrow. 
“Don’t tell me you’re about to ask me to dance,” you say, your voice barely audible to him. He just tilts his head and gives you a knowing look.
“I don’t dance, Y/n.”
“Oh, you’re so cool,” you mock, cooing at him. He narrows his eyes at you, excitement spilling into his body when he sees how you tense at the glare. It makes him feeler bold – bold, like he’d been in your office, even though he’d sworn to himself only moments after that he wouldn’t do that again.
He swears you’ve cast some sort of curse on him.
He brushes two fingers over your thigh, tugging at the hem of the dress before letting it snap back to your skin. “Where’d you get this?”
You warm, looking up at him with practiced disinterest, but he can feel when your breath changes. “I’ve had it forever.”
“I like it.”
You purse your lips, frowning up at him. “You’re being weird.”
“Am I?” he asks, letting those two fingers trace circles into your thigh and smiling when he feels the goosebumps on your skin. Your eyes flit around his face, and he can see that, under the confusion, there’s anticipation. You’re waiting for him to do something.
“Y/n, look!” Yachi yells next to you, and Keiji pulls his hand back into his lap. He watches as you try, still flustered by him, to follow your friend’s excited pointing into crowd. He tampers a satisfied smile, only pulling his gaze away from you.
It lands on Tsukishima, who’s watching Keiji blankly.
Keiji’s heart drops to his stomach.
The blond flicks his eyes between the two of suspiciously, and then his gaze drops to Keiji’s throat, because he’s swallowing nervously. Tsukishima lifts both eyebrows and then looks away, returning to Yachi’s excited monologue about the well-planned design of the club architecture and decor.
Keiji’s skin hums with adrenaline and anxiety. What is he supposed to do if Tsukishima questions him? Or worse – tells Kuroo?
As if summoned by the devil, Bokuto and Kuroo reappear – they’re holding two trays of shot glasses each, and Keiji stares in shock as Bokuto lines up five shots in front of Keiji.
“Those are for you!” his friend exclaims, doing the same for you. Keiji stares at the shots.
“This’ll put me in the hospital, Bokuto-”
“I have to teach tomorrow,” you add, giving a laugh of exasperation. Bokuto waves it off.
“A problem for tomorrow!” he yells, already picking up one of his own shot glasses. He holds it out toward the middle of the table. “To new experiences!”
Keiji sighs, lifting one of his up, too, to clink against Bokuto’s, and the rest of the table follows.
“To new experiences,” he mumbles, knocking the shot back.
Well, Bokuto hadn’t been lying about new experiences, Keiji thinks drunkenly.
His head swims as he stares down at the five empty shot glasses in front of him, wondering where his drinks had gone. You sway beside him, holding a cocktail in both hands as you sip at it – your shot glasses are equally empty, and Keiji’s not exactly sure where you’d pulled an extra drink from.
He watches through blurry vision as Yachi and Bokuto wriggle wildly on the dance floor together, far away enough that he can only tell it’s them by their ridiculous height difference. Kuroo and Tsukishima sit huddled on the other end of the booth, heads bent together as they whisper likely obscene things to each other.
Keiji had worried for about thirty minutes that Tsukishima would tell Kuroo what he’d seen, but the blond seems to have decided that it’s none of his business what happens in this club tonight. Keiji’s grateful for it, especially now that he can see Tsukishima slipping out of the booth, his hand tight in Kuroo’s and both their faces flushed from whatever they’d just talked about. They disappear in the direction of the bathroom, and Keiji snorts to himself.
“‘s one way to do it,” he mumbles, and you lean toward him heavily.
“Hah?” you say, your body pressed against his. “What’dya say?”
“Nothin’,” he slurs, shaking his head. And then he looks down at you, taking you in. Taking in the fact that the two of you have been left alone here in the dark, still visible but not noticeable. He shifts his body toward yours, pressing your sides together while he reaches to pluck your drink from your hands. “What’s this?”
“Hey,” you pout, reaching for it, but he just holds it behind him, forcing you to lean up into his face. Your eyes go wide when you realize how close his are, and he grins down at you, open and unfiltered.
“What is it, Y/n? Can I try?”
“No!” you complain, pressing your body against his as you stretch for the drink. Keiji slips his free arm around your waist, pulling you close.
“Just one sip?”
Your outstretched hand drops to his shoulder, and you say nothing about the arm he has around you. “You’re annoying,” you mumble, glaring hazily up at him. “Get yer own drink.”
He tilts his head toward you, the tequila in his breath mixing with the vodka in yours. “But I wanna taste yours,” he whispers, and your cheeks warm – he hadn’t meant anything sexual by it, but he’s not complaining if you’re taking it that way.
He lifts your drink to his lips, keeping his eyes on you and reveling in the way yours drop to his mouth, and takes a sip. It’s just a Vodka Cranberry, which he’d already guessed by the scent of your breath. He puts it back down on the table, letting you have it again. “Thank you,” he jokes.
“Whatever,” you mutter, cradling the drink again. “Why’ve you been so mean to me this week?”
“Aw,” he coos. “Did I hurt your feelings?”
“Yeah,” you say plainly, pouting. “You made me mad. Made me wanna do bad things.”
Desire spikes in Keiji’s body. “What kinda bad things?”
“Made me wanna be mean to you, too,” you say, oblivious to the way Keiji’s looking at you now. “Made me wanna hurt your feelings, too.”
“You did do that,” he says, laughing at you. “You were so mean.”
“Not mean enough!” you argue, leaning comfortably against him as he holds you. His hand gravitates from his lap to yours, the fingers he’d just had on your drink now cold and damp against your heated skin. You shiver at his touch, and he feels his jeans start to tighten. He draws small circles into your thigh with the pad of his middle finger, his intentions plausibly deniable even though his knuckles brush up against the hem of your dress every time.
“You don’t think calling my work ‘isolated and inapplicable’ is mean enough?” he coos down at you, watching with satisfaction as your lips part and you let out a shaky breath, because his middle finger is slipping once under the hem of your dress before completing the circle. He feels a shock of excitement fly down his spine and spread out across his skin, that live wire sparking in his chest.
He glances out briefly at the dance floor, confirming that Bokuto and Yachi are still jumping around and that Kuroo and Tsukishima have completely disappeared. He’s glad to know that he has more time with you. More time to slide his cold fingers across your flushed skin, more time to feel your body press tight to his. The thought of getting caught like this – with his arm wrapped around you and his fingers hidden under your dress – passes through his mind, and he can’t help that the live wire crackles dangerously, or that his jeans are uncomfortably tight on him now. But, still, he’s glad that no one’s seeing what’s going on over here.
He doesn’t want to share this with anyone else quite yet.
“Hey,” you grumble in his ear, low and whiny enough to make his cock twitch painfully. You grip his face with one hand, turning him back to you. Keiji stares down at you with wide eyes, his breath caught in his chest when you glare up at him and mumble, “You’re not payin’ attention t’me.”
He lets out a weak laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry – were you saying somethin’ important?”
Your pout deepens, and Keiji feels himself leaning toward you, his eyes fixated on your mouth.
“Yeah,” you say, nodding. “I was talkin’ about how you deserve to be bullied.”
He huffs in amused disbelief, just staring down at you. “Y/n.”
“Hm?”
“I have a question.”
“Mm?” You tilt your head, attention his. He starts running his fingers over your skin again, watching when you shiver.
“Are we still meeting tomorrow? Or was I too mean this week?” He swallows hard, hoping you’ll understand what he’s asking. If things are too tense between you – if the arrangement can’t be recovered, after all of his screw-ups this week. 
Your eyes widen, flitting between his, and he grows a little nervous. But then your face warms, and you shift under his fingers, and your eyes drop quickly to his mouth before lifting again.
“I thought we were…” you breathe. “Are we not?”
His skin hums with the need to feel you underneath him again, the possibility of having that tomorrow night no longer hanging in the balance. But still, he has to check. “Not gonna find someone else to fuck ‘n throw me away?”
You giggle at his quote of your own words, and you shake your head. “Unfortunately for me, there’s no one else who meets all my requirements.” You grin up at him, your eyes full of humor, as though what you say next is stupidly obvious.
“‘s gotta be you, 'Kaashi.”
Keiji really regrets sleeping with you.
On Wednesday at 7:30pm, you find yourself slapping your hand around on the bedside table for the alarm that’s going off. You find your phone, shutting it off and tossing it down on the bed next to you. 
You’d woken up at 7am this morning, dreadfully hungover, and dragged yourself to campus to teach. You’d stayed in the department until the very first moment that you were no longer needed, and then you’d Uber’d home, throwing your stuff on the floor in your foyer and climbing back into bed.
You repeat the process now, but you feel significantly better after the extra sleep. Instead of the hangover, however, your brain is burdened by the knowledge that Akaashi will be showing up at your door in thirty minutes. You groan, not for the first time today, at the memory of the humiliating things you’d said and done last night. At the way you’d draped yourself all over him and pouted up at him like an idiot, admitting that he’d gotten to you with his behavior this week.
At the way you’d admitted that there can be no one but him in this stupid arrangement.
You grumble the entire time you wait, stomping around the apartment until you hear his knock at your door.
When you wrench the door open, he looks mildly unsettled, and you know that means he’s as nervous as you.
“Hi.” He shifts his weight awkwardly, hoisting his duffel bag high on his shoulder. He flits his eyes around your face and then down to your pajamas, brows lifting. “Did you just wake up?”
“I took a five-hour nap,” you sigh, letting him in.
“Did you not eat dinner?” he asks, setting his bag down in the spot by the couch that’s slowly becoming his.
“No,” you mumble, wandering into the kitchen and digging through the pantry. “Not super hungry, anyway – just hungover.”
“Oh.” His voice sounds a bit tense, and you realize belatedly that he might have been asking if you wanted to eat dinner with him. You purse your lips, groaning to yourself. Things are still uncomfortable with him – how could they not be? You’ve spent the week bouncing back and forth between being insatiably furious with him and completely folding whenever he gets too close. Even if he seems to have reciprocated some of the confusing feelings wracking your brain lately, it can’t be easy to be dragged back and forth by your mood swings.
You emerge from the kitchen holding out a packet of smores pop-tarts to him, the strawberry flavor open in your other hand. He stares down at it and then takes it, eyes on yours. “Thanks.”
“Your leftovers from Saturday are still there,” you offer, nodding back to the kitchen. “If you want them.”
“Man, you really do hate kung pao chicken,” he jokes lamely, swallowing hard as he opens the silver packaging. You wander toward your room with an awkward sigh. 
“Uhm… how many videos should we film today?” You flick your lights on and move to the closet, leaving your pop-tarts on the dresser. There’s a creak in your doorway, and you glance back to find Akaashi leaning against the door frame, his fingers tapping on the crinkly wrapper while he chews slow and drags his eyes around your room.
“Dunno… Three? Four?” He flicks his eyes to you and then away again. “Same deal as last time? Foreplay first, then sex?”
You nod, digging through your drawer full of lingerie. You look him over briefly, ignoring when he tenses under your gaze. He’s wearing baggy, light blue jeans and a form-fitting black t-shirt, tucked into his belt. You hum, plucking a simple white set from the dresser and then reaching into your closet for a pair of shorts and a baby pink graphic tee, a cute strawberry drawn on the front. You brandish the clothes at him in question.
“Girl-next-door enough?”
He nods, eyes lingering on the white lace in your left hand. “Sweet and innocent.”
You shrug jokingly. “Just like me.”
“Yeah, okay,” he snorts, shaking his head. You don’t move, and he lifts his brows at you as he’s lifting the chocolate-filled pastry to his mouth. “What?”
“Uh…” You give him an expectant look. “I have to change.”
“Oh–” He lifts off the door frame and turns in place, staring out into your living room. “Is this good?”
You roll your eyes and strip from your pajamas, tossing your shirt at the back of his head. He chokes on his snack upon contact, and you laugh while you pull the lingerie on. He clears his throat quietly.
“So… you think my research is inapplicable-”
You groan, your shoulders tensing in preparation for a fight. “Please, not now, Akaashi-”
“I’m just wondering if you meant that, or…” His voice is joking, and you know he’s just talking shit in order to fill the silence, but you’re still a little rough when you brush past him, fully dressed now.
“You know I didn’t,” you admit quietly, padding over to the spare room and hearing when he follows. “You said it yourself  – I’m not stupid enough to believe that.”
“But you said it.”
“You say a lot of things, too.” You glance at him while you fluff the pillows on the bed. “What is this? Why are you picking a fight right now?”
He shakes his head simply. “Just making conversation.”
“Well, can you make conversation about anything else-”
“Like what?” he argues. “We can talk about research, or we can talk about what positions you want me to fuck you in today-”
“Okay,” you say, flushing. And then you swallow. “What… positions are we doing?”
Any heat that had been in his eyes melts away, and he lets out a breathless laugh. “Seriously?” When you shrug, a smile crosses his lips briefly before he’s smothering it. “Which one’s your favorite?”
Your eyes go wide, and you start to fluff the pillows more aggressively now, your face burning. “They’re all fine.”
“No,” he jokes, stepping close. You’d left your phone on the dresser by the door, and he brings it with him when he approaches you. “You definitely have a favorite.” He slips the device into your awaiting hand. “Tell me.”
You square your shoulders, scrolling through your apps to dim the string lights and change the color, bathing the room in a soft, pink glow. “It’s doggy,” you say without looking at him. “But they’re all fine.”
“Doggy,” he breathes back, nodding. “Understood.”
“Whatever,” you bite, gesturing to the bed in embarrassment. “Can we–?” 
He lifts his brows with a grin, waving you toward it. “By all means.”
You sigh, climbing onto the bed and pointing toward the selfie stick you keep on the desk. “I’ll just hold the phone for this first part.” Akaashi goes to get it, and you slot the phone into it with ease. “Okay. Ready.”
He props himself up next to you, both of you leaning against the headboard. You click record and fix the zoom, centering yourself in the frame.
“Okay,” you breathe, settling for looking at him in the camera, because you don’t know if you’re brave enough to meet his eye right now. “We’re good. Uhm…” You think quickly about how this should go. “Just look at something on your phone, maybe, and then come in whenever you think you should.” He reaches for his phone on the bedside table, and you joke nervously. “Not your email, though. Nerd.”
He scoffs, shaking his head with a hint of a smile. “Dumbass.”
You smile, refocusing the camera until neither of your faces are visible. You mess with your hair, watching the ends of it flutter on the screen, and trail your hand down your chest, kneading your breasts slowly and letting out slightly performative sighs. Your fingers dance along your thighs and between your legs briefly, and you see in the frame that Akaashi’s thumb has stopped scrolling. You don’t turn to look at him, but you do smile to yourself, watching his wrist start to go limp as he watches you, distracted. 
When you slide your hands under your shirt, your fingers moving the fabric as you squeeze and touch, Akaashi slowly moves to put his phone on the table. He shifts closer, turning his body toward yours, and his hand slides across your thigh. The touch makes you shiver, his palm searing hot on your skin and his fingers kneading at the inside of your thigh appreciatively. You hear him breathe in sharply, and then he presses his chest to your shoulder and drops his head to your neck.
The feeling of his lips on your skin is more intense than it had been on Saturday. You have no idea how, but you’re impossibly more sensitive tonight, and even the breath that fans over your throat between kisses has you panting. He sets two fingers on the wrist that you have hidden under your shirt, tugging your arm away from your body and angling you so he can fill the space.
His hand disappears under your top, and a quiet moan falls past your lips – because he’s cupping your breast, his palm warmer and larger than yours. You start to tremble, your stomach flipping with anticipation and desire every time his fingers move against you. You don’t know why everything feels so different tonight than it had only four days ago, but it feels like Akaashi’s experiencing the same.
His breath is ragged in your ear, and his lips are shaking slightly on your skin, even though all he’s done is touch you. His hand moves over your body almost nervously, fingers exploring in a way that falsely reminds you of anxious inexperience.
You turn toward him. “What’s with you?” you whisper, looking him over with wide eyes. He lifts his head, and you see that his pupils are blown wide. His cheeks are flushed slightly, and his lips are parted and wet. 
“Nothing,” he says, shaking his head. And then he tugs on your shirt. “Take this off.”
You hand him the camera stick, and he makes sure to keep you in frame when you peel your shirt off and toss it to the end of the bed. You kick your shorts off, too, while you’re at it, leaving you in your matching lingerie. He hands the camera back and scoots ever closer to you, his hand sliding across your body impatiently while he presses himself to you. You let your head drop and lean your weight against the headboard, letting him explore as he pleases.
When his fingers start to dip curiously between your thighs, that nervous anticipation is firing up. You spread your legs, breathing hard as you struggle to keep everything in frame, and he wastes no time, his middle two fingers sliding over your clothed core.
“Oh-” you moan loudly, much louder than you’d expected, given that he’s barely touched you.
Akaashi notices it too, it seems, because he lifts his head to stare at you, wide-eyed. “What was that?” he breathes, and you shake your head, your lips pursed in embarrassment.
“I was faking it,” you try, despite knowing what he’d told you last time about that.
He lifts his brows, and you see that it doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t buy it. “Liar.” He touches you again, circling your clit roughly through your panties. Your eyes widen, and your lips tremble when your breath comes out. He stares down at you in wonder, watching with a growing smile as you react much more intensely than you had on Saturday. “You’re sensitive today,” he notes quietly, a little satisfied.
You don’t bother denying it, not when he can clearly see how your body is reacting to him. “So are you,” you just whisper, eyes dropping to the front of his jeans. He’s already hard. “I haven’t touched you at all.”
He shakes his head, his fingers massaging into the wet spot in your panties with purpose. “‘s not a prerequisite.”
You lift your brows at the admission. “Good to know.”
He rolls his eyes. “Not like you’re gonna do anything with that information.” He pushes your panties to the side and touches his fingers to your soaked core, and you both gasp at the feeling. He breathes hard, eyes heated as he stares down at you. “You’re not brave enough.”
“Don’t-” you hiss through gritted teeth, resisting the urge to moan when his fingers push experimentally against your entrance. “-tempt me.” You reach your free hand toward his jeans, fully intent on unzipping them and touching him, but his hand comes down on your wrist – a smack of admonishment, gentle but firm. He narrows his eyes at you when you look at him in shock.
“I’m not gonna make it that easy for you, princess.” He pulls your thigh open over his legs to free up more space for himself, and then he’s dropping his head back to your neck and nudging against your entrance more seriously.
You’re wet enough that it only takes one try for both fingers to push into you, pressed against your walls and stretching you out. 
You gasp, your head falling back and bumping against the wall. “Oh, my God-”
Akaashi’s no better, his mouth open against your throat and his breath sharp and jagged. “Oh, fuck,” he breathes, his voice distracted and stunned. “Fuck.” 
“I’m,” you start, swallowing hard when he starts to move. “I’m not gonna last long-”
He groans, curling his fingers inside you and pressing hard against that spongy spot that makes you nervous. “I want you to squirt for me,” he breathes into your ear.
Your heart jumps into your throat. “What?” you say, high-pitched and shaky. “It’s-That’s not easy-”
You’re lying. It is easy for you, scarily so. And with the length of Akaashi’s fingers – with the way he knows how to press up against that spot every single time – it’s going to be so embarrassingly easy that you’re worried you might never live it down.
“I want it,” he breathes, persistent. He sounds a little urgent, bordering on desperate. “I want you to make a mess on my fingers.”
You whine, squirming against him as he picks up speed. You feel it forming, that pressure that’s different from the normal coil in your navel. “Uhm-I-” Your breath picks up, and his palm slaps against your skin when he slams his fingers into you again. The sting of it, repeated twice more, shoves you closer and closer to that dangerous pressure. “Mm-I’m gonna-” you heave, your body trembling in his arms and your hands struggling to keep the camera straight.
“Give it to me,” he whispers, groaning when your walls start to tighten around his fingers. “Be good and give it to me.”
You black out.
You black out, and you have no idea what happens when you do. You can’t feel anything, your entire body numb and light, floating on nothing. You feel your muscles spasm sporadically with the aftershocks, but you have no idea what had happened to get you here. Your hands are limp on the bed, but you can’t bring yourself to care if the camera had captured the moment. You feel Akaashi’s fingers still inside you – still moving – but you can’t do much more than listen as he pants in your ear and whispers ‘fuck, fuck, fuck,’ against the side of your head.
When you finally come to, you realize that you’re lying in a puddle. And Akaashi is hovering over you, his face flushed and his eyes full of disbelief and a burning heat.
“‘zzat good?” you slur, your head slumping against his shoulder, and he laughs against you, shaking his head.
“Holy shit, Y/n,” he breathes, laughing harder. “That was-fuck.” He jostles you gently. “Are you… Let me get you some water,” he says, shifting you, but you groan in protest.
“Did you come?” you breathe, dazed, and peel your eyes open to look at him.
“No.” 
“Then take your pants off,” you say, plain and direct. He looks into your eyes for just another moment, gaze tracking you and analyzing your energy, but you just level a frown at him. “Do you want to come or not, Akaashi?”
His brows lift, and his eyes flick down to the soaked blanket under you. When his gaze finds yours again, that heat is back.
He stands quickly, leaving you to shake the numbness out of your bones as he strips and moves impatiently to get the tripod. He sets your phone up with practiced fingers, and you sit up, shaking your head to clear it and sliding your panties and bra off.
“God, that was intense,” you breathe with a laugh. He glances back at you, a smile tugging at his lips. 
“You sure you’re good?”
“Super good.” You nod once, and then you beckon him toward you. “Hurry up, before I start to care what you think again and get embarrassed that that just happened.”
His burst of laughter echoes off the walls, and you feel pride at having drawn it out of him.
And then he climbs over you, and everything that’s not him fades into the background.
His eyes are steady on yours, but he moves with a decided lack of control, and that – his urgency – makes you more nervous than anything else. You lie back against the pillow and spread your legs for him, watching with bated breath as he shoves his boxers off impatiently and slots himself between your thighs. He leans over you, and one of his hands clamps down over your mouth while he lines himself up at your entrance.
He takes a breath, eyes flicking to yours, and you see the anticipation in them. Like he’d been waiting for this all week.
You’d been waiting, too, you realize.
He sinks into you in one press of his hips, and your back bows off the mattress. You moan loud against his palm, your eyes rolling back, and the groan he lets out – unfiltered, desperate – embeds itself into your skin. You struggle to breathe, to find your lungs when all you can feel is Akaashi inside you.
Your eyes focus and unfocus, searching uselessly for him while he slams his other hand down on the headboard to steady himself before setting a pace that makes your vision flicker. Your hands fly up, too, pressing back against the headboard to keep you from crashing into it. 
Akaashi’s hand falls from your mouth when he realizes that you’re not making noise, and it becomes clear that you can’t. Your mouth just hangs open, breath ragged and short while you gasp. Your eyes meet his, and he grins down at you.
“How’s that, princess?” he teases, panting tightly. “Still wanna find someone else to fuck? Or am I really the only one?”
He’s taunting you, torturing you. It makes some part of you angry – the part that hates him, so distant right now – and you try to argue.
“You’re only bitching-” You gasp sharply when the head of his cock bumps against your g-spot, scarily accurate like last time. “-because you got what you wanted-”
His next breath comes in a low growl, and he angles his hips so that he can hit your weak spot more easily. Your body shakes with each slam of his hips against yours, but you hold onto a shred of your sanity.
“You talk a lot of shit for someone who’s so needy for me-”
“Look in the mirror, asshole,” you bite, using every ounce of your energy to keep this up. But he presses two fingers against the seam of your lips, shoving them into your mouth. You choke around them, and he moans, because your walls flutter tightly around his cock at the feeling of his fingertips hitting the back of your throat.
“How ‘bout you shut the fuck up and get me off,” he snaps, gritting his teeth when your tongue curls wantonly around his fingers. “Maybe if you’re good at it, I’ll let you come again.”
You whine, despite yourself, and feel that twinge of need – the one that had reared its ugly head on Saturday. The need to give him what he wants, to fold for him and do what he says.
And then it hits you–
That this is what you’d felt all week.
That the gnawing in your chest and the frustration in your bones and the disorienting need to get his attention – good or bad – is exactly this. This need to bend to Akaashi Keiji’s will, because he’s got you wrapped around his finger.
You’re filled with an overwhelming rage, and you nip your teeth against his fingers – not hard enough to hurt, but definitely enough to shock his system.
Akaashi’s eyes go wide, and he hisses and draws his fingers from your mouth, wet and dripping saliva on your skin. “What the fuck?”
“You’re doing this on purpose,” you snarl, one of your hands leaving the headboard to shove against his chest. He stops moving, sitting up on his knees and staring down at you in confusion.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
You shove him again, and he catches your wrist, his eyebrows furrowing.
“You’ve been messing with me all week on purpose,” you spit, and then you sit up, startling him. You use the moment to latch onto him and roll him onto his back, swinging your leg over his waist and straddling him. He stares up at you, wide-eyed, as you try to take control of this. “You’ve been hot and cold, and rude and flirty,” you snap, lifting your hips just enough to sink down onto him. Your breath catches in your throat, and you watch his eyes roll back briefly, a quiet moan slipping past his lips. You plant your hands on his chest, finding a rhythm in his lap that has him gripping your waist tight. You grit your teeth and talk through the waves of pleasure, the ones that start in the crown of your head and make it hard to focus.
“You teased me at the party. And then you acted like I didn’t exist at the coffee shop.” You struggle to keep your breath, your movements growing unstable. His eyes search yours, alarmed.
“What-”
“You acted like I was a burden all day on Monday, and then you fucked with my head in the stairwell.” You glare down at him, hating wide-eyed way he’s watching you. “You fought with me in my office – you liked fighting with me-” You thump your fist weakly down on his chest while you bounce in his lap, angry – but not angry enough. It’s starting to fade into something else. Frustration that he’d played you, and confusion that he looks so confused. “And then you treated me like I was the only thing you could see at that stupid fucking club last night.”
The humilation creeps in – the embarrassment that you’d let this happen. You’d let him humiliate you. It makes your eyes prickle, and you squeeze them shut angrily. Akaashi slides his fingers roughly into your hair, holding tight when you try to shove him away.
“I hate you,” you say, choked and upset and refusing to look at him.
“Listen to me-”
“I hate you-”
“Listen to me.” He fists your hair tighter, jostling your head with enough urgency that your eyes fly open to find his. He’s glaring up at you now. “I’m not doing any of this on purpose.” You’d stopped moving in his lap at some point, too overwhelmed, but he bends his knees now, angling you against his thighs. You gasp when he starts to move, thrusting his hips up and using his one-handed grip on your waist to keep you steady.
“You think I wanted this?” he barks, snapping his hips up and bouncing you roughly against him. “You think I wanted to lose face at that fucking meeting? You think I wanted to fight in the stairwell like that?” His face twists into an angry scowl, and it’s your turn to be confused. “You think I want to get drunk and be unable to keep my hands off you? Huh?”
What-
What?
Akaashi’s hand slides out of your hair, dropping to the base of your throat. His fingers wrap around your neck, and your stomach flips with desire when he squeezes tight. You sigh in relief, the feeling of his palm against your throat when you swallow heavenly. He uses his grip to pull you close, until your nose brushes his. He sets a brutal pace with his hips, fucking up into you while he stares you down angrily.
“You know better than that,” he hisses. 
You start to shake over him, your desire mounting. “I-”
“You do know better, don’t you?” he whispers, his voice dangerously even. His eyes burn with anger. “Why are you acting like that? You told me you were smart.” His voice shakes a little, and you can see him struggling to keep up – his cheeks flush and his ears burn red, and he’s starting to pant, broken in a way that makes your stomach flip.
“I am,” you whisper, a bit whiny now. “I am smart – you’re just too confusing.”
The anger in his eyes solidifies into something worse. Something cruel and wicked.
“Then stop trying so fucking hard,” he snarls, slamming his hips up into you. You dig your nails into his shoulders, his sharp inhale clear in your ears. “Stop trying to figure this out.”
You shake your head hard. “I won’t. I can’t-”
“Oh, you can’t?” He mocks, and the edge in his voice kicks and shoves you right to your orgasm. “You won’t, is that it? Even though I just told you I’m not doing this on purpose?”
You squeeze your eyes shut. The idea that Akaashi’s just as affected as you are – just as much a victim to whatever this is as you are – fills you with a terrifying feeling. A feeling close to freedom, close to something that makes you want to throw everything away and give in to him. Because it’s not his fault, either, then. Because – if he’s not doing this intentionally – then there’s no one to blame.
And if there’s no one to blame, then you’re going to stop fighting the way you feel around him.
“Look at me.”
Your eyes open without your permission. Cyan stares back.
“You think I’m doing this on purpose?” He’s breathless and frustrated, searching your face. “Look at me.” His eyes are filled with emotion – that same caution you feel, not wanting to give into this if you’re not going to give in with him. His grip tightens on your throat, and he pulls you close, whispering into the breath of space between your lips.
“You know me better than that.”
When he falls, he takes you with him. And, as much as you want to fight it – kicking and screaming – you don’t. 
You just wrap yourself around him and fall.
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bedsyandco · 7 months ago
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♯ 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐊 ◞ 𝑸𝑯⁴³
✰ pairing ⤫ fem!reader x quinn hughes
✰ synopsis ⤫ in which you and quinn are fighting but he can’t leave without letting you know he loves you
✰ content ⤫ a little angst I guess, the angst isn’t really present in the fic, it’s more about the resolving of the angst. cuteness. quinn putting up with his girl’s stubborn ass. overuse of baby, I’m sorry 😭
✰ 💭 ⤫ I love writing for quinn so much. . . as always I’d love to hear what you think! <3
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you make a pointed effort not to look in quinn's direction as he enters the kitchen, keeping your glare firmly planted on your cup that coffee was slowly pouring into.
quinn knew you had seen him enter the kitchen, your shoulders had tensed the moment he walked into the room, but your eyes didn't flicker to his like they normally would, and he was fine with that. he was sure that if you did direct you attention towards him it would only be to start yelling at him. again.
he follows his normal morning routine, taking out the toaster and the bagels but hesitates after putting one in. he's unsure if he should be toasting yours, not because he's being petty over the fact that you weren't making him coffee like you normally would, simply because he's never met a more stubborn person in his life, and he wasn't sure if you'd eat it if he did toast it for you.
quinn allows the silence to drag on for a few minutes before breaking it. "you're coming to the game tonight right?” he asks
“probably,” you answer softly and quinn sighs, dropping another bagel in the toaster
quinn moves to the spot next to you, making his breakfast bagel on the counter and you resist the urge to kiss his cheek and cuddle into him like you normally would. he was even wearing his blue hoodie today, the one he knew was your favourite.
you make your way to the living room table, taking a seat on a chair and pretending to read the paper that was laying on the table. your mind was way too busy to actually focus on the words on the page but it was better than looking like you were contemplating what happened earlier that morning.
it was a stupid fight really, stemming from the fact that quinn left his dishes in the sink when you’ve repeatedly told him to just put it in the dishwasher, like how hard can it be? from there on some petty insults were exchanged as a result of exhaustion and frustration building up from the long week.
there’s a few minutes of silence again, the only sounds coming from the kitchen where Quinn was making your bagel. it’s not unusual for there to be silence in the morning, neither you or quinn were morning people. but that’s usually peaceful silence, this was tension-filled silence.
you see quinn approaching in your peripheral and a few seconds later he placed your bagel in front of you. “eat that,” he says, more like orders. and hesitates for a few seconds. he wasn’t sure if you wanted him to sit with you, or if you’d rather just be left alone.
your heart clenches a little when after a few seconds of hovering he decides to move towards the living room and plops down on the couch, eating his breakfast alone.
you were so in your head you didn’t realize the time had passed so quickly and before you knew it, quinn was getting ready to leave, putting on his shoes and grabbing his keys.
letting out a heavy sigh he makes his way towards you, gently cupping your cheek and pressing a kiss to your head and your cheek.
“Have a good day baby, I’ll see you tonight. I love you,” he says before turning to leave but you grab his hand before he gets the chance to
“I’m sorry-“ you start to apologize but he cuts you off
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, you’re right you’re not my mother and I’m a grown man, I can clean up after myself,” he says a little teasingly, recalling your words from earlier.
“Well yes, but you also apologized for it and I blew it way out of proportion. I’ve had a horrible week and I took my frustrations out on you and I’m sorry,” you say and his gaze softens, pulling your hand to tug you out of the chair and into his chest
“It’s okay baby. I know you’ve had a stressful week, we all have those. God knows I have them and I take it out on you way more than you do to me. I’ll argue with you about dishes in the sink if that’s what you need to let off some steam, as long as we can make up again before one of us has to leave. I don’t like being away from you knowing you’re pissed at me. At least when I’m home I get to see how sexy you look when you glare at me from across the room,” Quinn says, placing a kiss just below your ear and you shiver a little when his beard scratches the skin there.
“Well there’s other ways we can blow off steam rather than arguing,” you suggest and Quinn lets out a soft laugh against your neck
“You wanna show me?” he mumbles, hands falling to your ass and you laugh pushing him away
“Maybe tonight, you’re gonna be late,” you say, walking to the kitchen and grabbing the lunch you packed for Quinn before he even came downstairs
“You sure it’s safe to eat?” Quinn teases, knowing you made it when you were still mad
“Your sandwich may be a little spicier than usual, but you’ll live,” you say, patting his chest and he laughs, giving you a quick peck before he’s out the door.
not even his plate and coffee mug from breakfast sitting in the sink was enough to remove the smile on your face after that.
750 notes · View notes
hihomeghere · 1 year ago
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Nightwing | Diego Hargreeves/reader
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Word Count : 4k Summary : You try to keep Diego Hargreeves off your mind, especially after your break up. But after he breaks into your apartment begging you to patch him up. All the good and bad memories come flooding back. (this is my first time writing for Diego so please be nice) Warnings/tags : Smut, cursing, hospital setting, reader is a nurse, mentions of blood, wounds, and bullets. (I do not own the umbrella academy or any of it's characters)
You rubbed your eyes, getting used to the darkness your bedroom was shrouded in. Bleary eyed you reached blindly for the vibrating phone on your nightstand, the culprit for so rudely waking you up. You groaned, slamming your phone back down as you read the contact name.
The words Do Not Answer, glowed on your Lock Screen in the dim lit room. Diego Hargreeves. 
It was too fucking late for him to be calling you. There was no way you’d be playing nurse for him anymore, especially on one of your only nights off.
Instead you sat awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling while your phone finally stopped buzzing. Well at least he was smart enough not to call you back. Accepting the fact that you would not be falling back asleep you got up. Slipping your feet into your fuzzy slippers you padded down the hall into your kitchen. You flipped on the overhead oven light, before grabbing your bread bag. You popped two pieces of bread in your toaster. You leaned up against your counter trying to get a certain Hargreeves off your mind. This whole situation started a little over a year ago, on one of your shifts.
-
You leaned against the cool brick wall of the hospital, the cold air seeping through your scrubs. You rubbed your arms, trying to warm up. You had forgotten your coat before going on your break and you knew the second you stepped back in the break room you’d get a call.
So here you were, freezing your ass off behind the back of the hospital. You pulled your phone out of your pocket, swiping through Facebook. Not that anyone was posting anything, after all it was close to 2am. You let out a deep breath, watching your hot breath drift up in front of your face. You chuckled to yourself, puffing out hot air.
“What are you 10?” A deep voice groaned from your left. You jumped, your hand covering your wildly beating heart.
“I don’t have any money,” You said quickly, raising your hands, “please I’m on my break. I don’t even have my freaking coat.” You said nervously, backing up against the wall.
“I’m not gonna rob you.” The man said as he limped out into the light. He was obviously hurt, his hand pressing against his side. Blood stained his hand, as he gave you a sideways smile.
“Damn it.” You sighed, before you rushed towards him. “You know there’s an emergency room for a reason right?” You said as you started to pull his sweater up, slowly unsticking it from his skin. He hissed, squeezing his eyes close. 
“Yeah, well I’m trying to keep a low profile.” He grunted, shifting to offer you a better angle for looking at the wound in his side. 
“What’s with the mask, nightwing?” You asked, raising an eyebrow as you looked over the wound. He let out a laugh before taking a sharp inhale as your fingers grazed the bullet hole. “Well you’re in luck, it’s only a graze. Although it looks like a bullet wound, want to explain that?” You said sitting back on your heels.
“Like I said, low profile.” He smirked again, you only shook your head.
“Well, there isn’t much I can do out here under these lights.” You said pointing above you, “Lucky for you I can get you in the back, all low profile like.” You teased getting to your feet.
“My hero.” You turned toward the back door, pulling out your keycard. You swiped your keycard, the red light turning green. You pushed open the door, waving the man in.
“I’m Y/n, by the way.” You said walking him down the hall, you pulled over a spare bed, patting it.
“Nice to meet you.” He groaned as he sat down on the bed. You peeled his sweater off of his side, he grabbed it holding it up for you.
“Alright you stay here, and I’ll be right back.” You said giving him a small smile before running to get your gloves, needles, surgical thread, and some antiseptic. You ran back, narrowly avoiding your coworkers. 
“There you are doc,” He said leaning back, he was lucky he didn’t get a straight gut shot. 
“Just a nurse.” You reminded him with a smile. You began laying out your tools, he took in a sharp breath turning his head. “Hey, are you alright?” You asked, laying your hand on his shoulder.
“Yep. Yep. Just uh-“ He shook his head, “can’t do needles.” Your furrowed your brows.
“So a bullet wound is just fine but needles are the shit that freaks you out?” You said as you began to clean the graze. He hissed again, his hard body tensing under your fingers.
“Does that ruin the whole mysterious vigilante thing?” He asked, his eyes fixated on the ceiling. You laughed, shaking your head.
“No, you’re still very cool and mysterious.” You chuckled as you began to suture his wound. He barely moved under your hands, only wincing now and again. Once you were finished you took off your gloves, throwing them away in the trash. You patted his leg, “Alright nightwing, you’re all done. But you’ll have to come back to get your stitches taken out.” He nodded getting off of the bed.
“Thank you,” He smiled at you as you walked him to the back door.
“You’re welcome.” You smiled as well, pushing open the door. He stepped into the cold air, “Come back in two weeks, alright?” You called after him.
“Whatever you say doc.” He said walking into the darkness.
After that night you would normally see Mr. Vigilante whenever he had an injury he couldn’t just put a bandaid over and call it good. He always seemed to take care of them once you had patched him up. 
“I came here the other night.” He said as you tied off a new cut on his calf, “You must not have been working. Had to go crawling to my mom.” He chuckled, rolling his eyes.
“Probably gave her a heart attack.” You said, raising your eyebrows, “Is she a nurse?” You asked standing up.
“Um,” He paused, choosing his next words carefully, “no, but she used to patch me up when I was a kid.” He shrugged, rolling his pant legs back down.
“Oh so this Evel Knievel stuff started long ago.” You laughed putting your hands on your hips.
“You could say that.” He smirked, nodding his head. You fought with yourself for a moment, if you weren’t working you were at home. You could always give him your number. A quick text would let him know if you were working or not. But then you’d also be telling him your address if you weren’t working. Telling him your address wasn’t like giving him a key. He could just stop by your place if you weren’t working, to avoid giving his poor mother a heart attack. 
“You know, you could always text me to see if I'm working or not. It would save you a trip if I wasn’t.” You said looking down at your white sneakers.
“A little forward, don’t you think?” He chuckled, crossing his arms.
“Alright, just make sure you don’t bleed out before you reach your mommy’s house.” You said nonchalantly, shrugging your shoulders as you turned away from him. He reached out, his hand wrapping around your forearm as he pulled you back to face him.
“Alright alright, you’ve twisted my arm. Give me your phone.” He said, rolling his eyes, his hand out in front of you.
“Talk about being forward.” You laughed while handing over your phone. He put his number in, while you stood in front of him. He handed it back to you, crossing his arms.
“Diego?” You asked, reading his contact name.
“Can’t have you calling me nightwing anymore.” He shrugged as he got to his feet. You walked him to the back door, as you always did. Watching as he walked away from the hospital.
“I’ll see you Diego.” You called, his name rolling off your tongue.
“See ya, doc.” He called over his shoulder before being enveloped by the darkness. 
-
You jumped slightly as your toast popped out of the toaster. You set the bread down on your plate, slathering them with butter. You walked into your living room, plopping down on your leather couch. 
There was a knock on your window, you groaned. That asshole wouldn’t come here. You stood up turning to your window, only to be face to face with Diego. His mask was gone, and his lip was bloody. He pointed down at the lock on the window, mouthing please through the glass.
You stomped over to the window, flipping the lock before you pulled up open the window.
“You have a lot of fucking nerve coming here.” You huffed, clenching your fists at your sides.
“C’mon baby.” He whispered, a pleading look in his eyes.
“Don’t.” You hissed, shaking your head. “Just get inside before someone sees you.” You said walking back into your kitchen. He followed you like a lost puppy, hanging his head as he leaned on your kitchen counter. 
You hated how well he fit in your home. Like he still belonged here, even after everything he had said.
Pushing those thoughts away you pulled your first aid kit out from under the sink. Laying out your tools on the counter next to Diego. 
“What is it, other than that busted lip.” You huffed, rolling your eyes. 
“You weren’t answering my calls” He said looking up at you through his full eyelashes.
“Why would I?” You said turning away from him. Having him in your kitchen was almost too painful, bringing back too many good memories.
-
Your phone buzzed next to you, you picked it up reading Diego’s text message.
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You jumped up from your couch rushing to grab your medical kit. It was a normal occurrence for him to come crashing into your apartment late at night. Only for you to patch him up under your kitchen lights. You started laying your tools out on your kitchen counter. Before you rushed over to your sink, washing your hands and your upper arms. 
Diego crashed through your window, landing on the rug below it. He slowly got to his feet as you rushed to meet him.
“Are you alright?” You asked, your heart beating out of your chest. He raised his head, his eyebrows were knitted together as he put a hand over his chest. “Diego what is it?” Your anxiety was through the roof, he was never this quiet. Although you couldn’t see any obvious injuries. 
“Doc,” He started, his warm hand enveloping your wrist. Your breath caught in your throat as his other hand tilted your chin up.
“Yeah?” You asked.
“It’s my heart, doc.” He said, a grin spreading across his face, “You gotta fix it for me.” You searched his face, your furrowed eyebrows relaxing as you snorted.
“How long have you been waiting to use that one?” You laughed, your anxiety leaving your body through your giggles. 
“A while actually.” He chuckled, cupping your face. His eyes searched for any resistance to his advances. You raised your hand, softly tracing over his scar. You could now cross that off your bucket list. You breathed in each other’s essence in your small kitchen, your slippers scuffing against the linoleum floor.
“Are you gonna fix it?” He whispered, even though it was only you two.
“What?” You asked as his hands moved from your face to your hips.
“My heart?” He said a coy smile on his face. You pulled him into a kiss, your fingers threading through his hair. His lips were soft against yours, softer than you imagined and so warm. You could feel him smile into the kiss, you could almost curl your toes at the sensation. You pulled away staring into his deep brown eyes. 
“How’d you rate the pain?” You asked, laying your hand over his heart.
“I think I need some more medicine, doc.” He said nosing against your cheek, laying a kiss against the corner of your lips.
“I think I can do that.” You chuckled, pulling him into another kiss. You tugged lightly on his hair, pulling a groan out of him. You slowly walked backwards, pulling him along with you. Diego followed you into your bedroom, your legs collided with your bed. You fell back, Diego caging you between his arms. You moved your hands under his sweater, feeling his lean abs under your fingers. He grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head discarding it behind him. You traced over his scars, studying his body without having to patch him up.
“Hey, my turn.” He smirked, pinning your wrists above your head. He grabbed the hem of your shirt, pulling it up over your breasts. You shivered as the cold air hit your chest, your nipples hardening. He flashed you a devilish smile before taking one of your tits in his mouth. He sucked and nipped, while his other hand pinched your nipple. You bucked against his mouth, squirming under his grasp.
He pulled back, tugging your shirt over your head. You shimmied out of your cotton shorts and panties. Leaving yourself completely bare under him. 
“Hello nurse.” He grinned, taking in your body. He ran his hands down your hips before swiping his finger through your folds. He slowly pushed a finger inside you, chuckling as you let out a moan. He started pumping his digits, curling them inside. You whined as he pulled them out, he moaned as he sucked them clean. He stood up, kicking off his pants and underwear before joining you on the bed. 
He fisted his cock in his hand, pumping his shaft a couple times before lining the head up with your opening. He looked up at you before slowly pushing in. Your hands gripped his shoulders, nails digging into his soft flesh. He didn’t seem to mind as his eyes rolled back into his head as he bottomed out. He was bigger than you imagined, his tip all but kissing your cervix. 
“Move Diego please.” You whined, blinking away the tears of pleasure welling up in your eyes. He grinned before he started moving his hips. He began a slow grind into your cunt, his pubic hair rubbing against your clit. Going slow enough to get you teetering on the edge, his mouth attached to neck. “Please Diego!” You cried, wrapping your legs around his hips trying to get more friction between the two of you. 
“What do you want, baby?” He chuckled darkly, you could feel it through his chest more than you could hear it. 
“More, please” You whined. He suddenly snapped his hips against yours, pulling all the way out before slamming back into you. It was enough to cause your orgasm to come crashing down. You spasmed against him, your body going limp as you swore you saw white. A constant mantra of Diego’s name fell out of your mouth as he pounded into you. A bead of sweat fell from his chest down the valley of your breasts. 
His thrusts started getting sloppy as he tightened his grip on your hips, pulling them against his own. He let out a groan as he came, thick ropes of cum spilling inside you as his cock twitched. He fell on top of you, breathing hard against your neck. You wrapped your arms around him, breathing him in.
“How’s your heart?” You asked, he chuckled before propping himself up on his arm.
“Never better, doc.” 
-
Since that night you were inseparable, if you weren’t at work you were with him. Whether that be at your place or his. The last eight months were the best of your life. You were utterly content with your relationship with Diego, you should have known something would go wrong. 
You headed into the gym, balancing your takeout boxes as you walked down the hall to Diego’s place. It was late, and you had just gotten off a long shift. You were looking forward to eating some take out and watching shitty movies on his shitty couch. Instead, you could hear arguing coming from the other side of his door.
“Absolutely not, now you need to leave before she gets here.” Diego said from the other side of the door.
“Who is this mystery woman you’re always talking about? ‘Oh Klaus, no you can’t meet her.’ ‘She’s different than the others.’ Blah, blah, blah. Just put on your big girl panties and introduce me!” The man replied. 
“No way. Now let’s go.” The door opened in front of you, you were face to face with Diego and another man. He had short curly brown hair, his shirt was unbuttoned, and he had the prettiest green eyes you had ever seen.
“Y/n.” Diego’s face fell as he laid his eyes on you. The man beside him gasped as he turned back to Diego.
“Is this her?” He asked, a grin spreading across his face.
“Diego, who is this?” You asked, your eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
“I’m Klaus, his brother.” Klaus said, sticking out his hand. You took it, giving him a warm smile. You didn’t know Diego had a brother.
“Oh! It’s nice to meet you!” You said before turning to look back at Diego. “Diego didn’t tell me he had a brother.”
“More like four.” Klaus scoffed, throwing an arm around Diego’s shoulder. Four brothers? “And not counting our two sisters.” Klaus added as you turned back to him with wide eyes. Six siblings that he had just forgotten to mention? Diego shrugged Klaus's arm off of his shoulder, glaring daggers at him.
“Well Klaus was just leaving.” Diego said, clenching his jaw.
“Diego.” You scolded.
“Oh well, you know how these Hargreeves are.” Klaus smiled turning to you, the closer he got you noticed how he reeked of alcohol. Although you felt extremely sober. Hargreeves. Like the umbrella academy, Hargreeves? Klaus walked back down the hall, talking to someone who wasn’t there. 
“Hargreeves?” You asked, turning to look at him. He sighed looking down at the ground. “Like the umbrella academy, Hargreeves?” Diego turned and walked back inside his studio. Taking two stairs at a time to put as much distance between the two of you. You were hot on his heels, you set down the take out boxes before turning to face him. He had his arms crossed over his chest, looking off to the side. “Well?” You asked impatiently.
“Well it’s not like you asked!” He said his shoulders rising.
“What, next are you gonna tell me that the Alison Hargreeves is one of your sisters?” You laughed humorlessly. He bit his lip, turning away from you. “Unbelievable.” You said, shaking your head.
“You know this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.” He said suddenly turning on you, “Cause I knew you couldn’t handle it.”
“Oh I can handle it.” You scoffed taking a step away from him, “What I can’t handle is you keeping something like this from me. God I’m so stupid I should have put it together. All that vigilante shit.” You said rubbing the bridge of your nose. 
“Well now you know.” He huffed, clenching his jaw. 
“That doesn’t make it any better! We’re supposed to tell each other everything.” You said throwing up your hands.
“Don’t give me that shit. You were perfectly fine being in the dark before this. You didn’t even ask for my name before you were inviting me over to your place.” He spit, a cocky smile on his lips.
“Diego, that's not fair.” You said, hating how your lower lip trembled.
“No, what's not fair is you expecting me to get down on one knee when we’ve known each other for what, a year? You want me to take you home to meet mom and pops?” A tear slipped down your cheek, you wanted to run. Backed in a corner while Diego paced. Your feet felt glued to the floor in a place you had thought of as your second home.
“Diego…” You said softly, blinking back your tears.
“You know maybe you should go.” He huffed, clenching his jaw. “I think this-“ he motioned between the two of you, “has gone on long enough anyway. It was never going to last.” He crossed his arms looking away from you. You felt your heart break in your chest. You swallowed thickly, your chest rising and falling rapidly. 
“If that’s what you want.” You said biting the inside of your cheek.
“It is.” He said, looking at the door and then back at you. You quickly turned, running up the stairs and out of the studio. You slammed the door behind you, your sneakers squeaking against the gym floor. You pushed open the metal door, speed walking to your car. Once inside you broke down, sobs wracking your body. You allowed yourself to feel everything, waiting until the tears had subsided before you turned on your car. 
You were about a block away from your apartment when the anger hit.
-
And the anger had stayed, it was a poor mask for your pain, you knew that. You also knew if you weren’t angry you would break. That anger fueled you, it’s not your fault that Diego was afraid of commitment. Was part of this your fault, maybe. Maybe you should have demanded more from him before getting so deep. 
Now he was here, asking for your help. A stupid busted lip that he could have taken care of himself. 
“I wanted to apologize.” He said, making you stop in your tracks.
“Then do it.” You said coolly, crossing your arms.
“Look, I'm sorry.” He sighed, shaking his head. “I just- Klaus freaked me out and I just didn’t want you finding out about the umbrella academy from him.” He said leaning back on your counter.
“Well then maybe you should have told me sooner.” You snapped, glaring at him. “I never pushed you for anything Diego, never. I understand that the academy is a sore subject, but that’s not my fault.” You sighed, shrugging your shoulders. 
“I know that-“ He said, holding up his hand. You raised your eyebrows, “You’re right. You’re always right.” He said, hanging his head. It did give you some satisfaction to see him all but begging on his knees for your forgiveness. But you needed more.
“No you’re right Diego,” his head shot up, his eyes meeting yours with a confused expression, “ I was fine with being in the dark. But I’m not fine with it anymore. I want your everything.” You said as you bit your lip, hugging your arms tight around your body. 
“Shit- I want that too.” He stepped forward, his hand lightly touching your arm.
“Then stop being such a pussy.” You teased, a small smile pulling on your lips. He snickered, pulling you into his chest. You wrapped your arms around his waist, breathing him in. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, swaying slightly with you in his arms. 
“Do you want to meet my mom?” He whispered, you pulled away looking at him.
“Are you sure?” You asked, your hand coming up to cup his cheek.
“You’re the one who said not to be a pussy.” He said with a nervous laugh.
“If you’re ready for that, then sure. I’d love to meet your mom.” You smiled, he leaned down softly kissing you. He pulled away with a hiss as soon as your lips touched.
“Forgot about that.” He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Let’s clean that lip first alright, nightwing?” You teased, lightly patting his chest.
“Whatever you say, doc.”
1K notes · View notes
httpsserene · 5 months ago
Text
𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥 - 𝐥𝐬. 𝟏𝟖 | 𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 𝟒𝟎𝟒: 𝐏𝐍𝐅 |
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𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 𝟒𝟎𝟒: 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 - 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨
summary: if you love her, you have to let her go. who the hell came up with that? content warning: vacation romance. profanity. a couple of suggestive lines. one line of dark humor (toaster bath). fluff and angst. sibling dynamics (bullying). friendship. hard launch (but sad). emotional support esteban ocon (shrugs). heartbreak. this might count as getting together/breaking up. pairing: lance stroll x fem!black!reader
from serene: i feel like i have to reiterate that this does have a happy ending (in the next part). i think my tags are over dramatic asl but, i’m not trying to getting jumped in my inbox for miss tagging anything. also, i know lance isn’t a “popular driver” (whatever that fuckin means) but i’m in love with this smau, and i will not be accepting any judgement xxx
⌕ prev | join taglist | requests & feedback | table of contents | series toc | next ↻
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instagram • ynplays • december 14th • cozy in a cabin ⚑
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liked by valkyrae, yourbestie, segagenesisthedawg, and 43,879 others
ynplays: falling love with canada🇨🇦🍁🏒⛸️🌨️
tagged yourbestie, segagenesisthedawg, nhl
view comments
ynplays: sega cries after he walks us back to our room at night and leaves 😫
➥ user1: she’s just a liddol girl 🥹
➥ user2: the puppy has spoken u have to keep him i don’t make the rules 🤷🏿‍♀️
➥ user3: so...you have no choice but to run away with him into the sunset.
yoursister: booooo we get it you've been brainwashed by a canadian man 🙄🙄🙄
➥ ynplays: when was the last time you smiled today
➥ yoursister: it's difficult when ALL you do is yap about your crush on this hockey-core man 🤢
➥ ynplays: he gives himbo hockey player IM TELLNG YOU !!!
➥ user4: so he's canadian 😶
user5: his name starts with an L, he's approx 6'0, is brunette with brown eyes, and he's canadian with hockey player vibes👐🏻
➥ user6: i could walk two (2) steps outside of my house in ottawa and i'd run into a man who fits this description 😭😭
➥ user7: he sounds like every other bitch???
➥ user8: let's go through every minor and major hockey league roster again
➥ yourfriend1: "again?" who TF has time for that
user9: tagging THE nhl is crazy 💀
➥ user8: i'm telling you he's a hockey player
➥ user10: idk man he doesn't look like a hockey build in either of these photos🤔
igstory • yoursister uploaded!
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[caption1; me and sis] [caption2; fuck. i guess they're kinda cute together 😒]
yourfriend2: did you see them doing snow angels together 🥺🥺☹️ yourfriend2: that had me smiling ngl...they're adorable yoursister: yeah, i'm just happy there's no red flags she's ignoring, he seems like a genuine dude
user11: do you improve of this lance? 6'0, brown eyes, brunette, canadian hockey player 🙂 yoursister: uhh i fear for his life,,are u gonna put a hit on him or smth yoursister: also he is not a hockey player lol user11: oh🫣 yoursister: i'm pretty sure he's like a car engineer or smth? i think i heard him say that
twitter • december 16th
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instagram • ynplays • december 16th • sanctuary ⚑
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liked by nhl, yoursister, yourbestie, yourmom, and 42,313 others
ynplays: i don't want to leave.
view comments
nhl: not me crying 😩 - admin
➥ user12: huh
➥ user13: nhl admin relatable
yourbestie: aw babe. enjoy your last five days here :)
➥ ynplays: i only have five days left 😟
➥ yourfriend1: oh girlie...it'll be alright
➥ yourfriend2: i always hate this part of the vacation
yoursister: please ask lance if he's willing to take you off my hands. permanently preferably.
➥ ynplays: are you familiar with the term sympathy?
➥ yoursister: oh you're sad for real
➥ yoursister: 😕 therapy session in the hot tub now ladies
➥ user14: this is depressing me
user15: hey, you can just elope? i don't think you've added that to your toolbox yet
➥ ynplays: too sad to even consider it rn
➥ ynplays: nvm he invited me to his cabin later 👅✌🏽
➥ user15: use protection 🙂‍↔️
user16: i feel like this should have a sensitive content warning
➥ user17: my day is ruined
➥ user18: and my disappointment is immeasurable
➥ user19: THERES 104 DAYS OF SUMMER VACATION🗣️🔊
➥ user20: read the room man @/user19
twitter • ynplays • december 21st
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instagram • lancestroll • december 24th
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liked by estebanocon, chloestroll, astonmartinf1, and 2,109,764 others
lancestroll: winter break has never felt so short. i missed you the second you stepped away from me. happy holidays, baby.
tagged ynplays
view comments
estebanocon: it’ll get better eventually mate ❤️‍🩹 believe it or not
➥ lancestroll: finding it hard to believe rn
chloestroll: come have some hot cocoa with me
➥ lancestroll: yn liked hot cocoa
➥ scottyjames31: oh mate…
➥ user21: okay, i'm concerned for my health. there's some sort of clear liquid leaking from my eyes
➥ user22: FUCK man this is sad 😕
astonmartinf1: chin up lance - admin
➥ alpinef1team: feeling for you mate - admin
➥ mercedesamgf1: sad it ended up like this for you lance - admin
➥ user23: the f1 teams are assembling like the avengers in infinity war for this
➥ user24: an unforgettable day in f1 history
yourmom: fix this. liked by lancestroll
➥ user25: w mama 🤩
➥ user26: tell him ma'am ‼️‼️
yourbestie: thank you for being good to her when you had her
➥ lancestroll: don't thank me for that.
➥ user27: cooking up my toaster bath actually
user30: well this is not the hard launch i wanted to confirm our theory.
➥ user31: brb about to create them in the sims and make them get married and have 6 children, sega, two cats and let them get old together
➥ user: realest cure for heartbreak
user28: no way they decided not being together at all is worse than being long distance
➥ yoursister: that's what i sad but nobody listens to me
➥ user28: why'd they do it???
➥ yoursister: my sister can be incredibly stupid about returned feelings. and for some reason she chose now to "protect her heart"
➥ user29: she deserves her happy ending and needs to allow herself to have it 😭😭😭
twitter • ynplays • december 25th
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imessage • lance -> yn
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© httpsserene 2024
373 notes · View notes
lev1hei1chou · 6 months ago
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Cafe Drama
Gojo x reader Genre: Fluff Synopsis: Gojo loves drama when he’s not the center of it Masterlist
"BABE, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED!"
You almost dropped your phone. Not a hello, not even a 'Hey, how are you?' Just Gojo, screaming into the phone, voice filled with eagerness.
"Satoru, what—"
"So I was on this mission, right?" he interrupts, not bothering to wait for you response. "And I decided to take a break at this cute little cafe. You know the type, rustic charm, overpriced lattes, the works."
"Uh-huh," You reply, already grinning because you know this is going to be good.
"Okay, so I’m sitting there, minding my own business, trying to decide between a macchiato and a cappuccino—very important stuff, obviously—when suddenly, BAM! The couple at the table next to me starts arguing."
You can almost see his eyes sparkling with glee as he recounts this. Gojo loves drama when he’s not the center of it.
"So, naturally, I tune in. It’s like my own private soap opera. The guy’s all like, 'I can’t believe you did that!' and she’s like, 'Well, maybe if you paid more attention to me instead of your stupid phone!' Classic stuff. Anyway, they’re getting louder and louder, and I’m just sitting there, sipping my coffee, trying not to laugh."
"Of course you were," You chuckle, shaking your head. "You love a good train wreck."
"Exactly! But it gets better. The guy stands up, and I think he’s going to storm out, but no. He leans in, gets all serious, and says, 'You’re being irrational.' Which, by the way, never helps. She stands up too, and I’m like, 'Oh boy, here we go.' She picks up her glass of juice—orange, if you’re wondering—and I’m thinking, 'No, she wouldn’t.' But she did. SHE DID, BABE!"
"She threw the juice?"
"Right in his face! Full-on, slow-motion movie style. It was beautiful. Juice everywhere. The guy’s just standing there, dripping, looking like a soggy, defeated puppy. And the whole cafe goes silent."
You couldn’t help but burst out laughing, picturing the scene in your head. "Did anyone say anything?"
"Oh, the barista tried to act professional, but you could tell she was dying inside. Everyone’s just staring, and the guy, poor guy, he wipes his face and says, 'You know what? I don’t need this.' And then he slips on the juice! He didn’t fall, but it was close. Very close. He regained his dignity just enough to leave the cafe without actually hitting the floor."
You're laughing so hard now, with tears forming in the corners of your eyes. "Did you do anything? Or just watch?"
"Me? Oh, I applauded."
"No you didn’t!"
"I did! How could I not? It was a stellar performance. I gave her a standing ovation. I think she appreciated it, too. She bowed before storming out. Quite the exit. Ten out of ten."
You could barely breathe. "Only you, Gojo, would turn someone’s breakup into your own personal entertainment."
"Hey, I’m just here to enjoy the show life puts on for me. And to share it with you, of course. How’s your day going? Any juice-throwing incidents I should know about?"
"Sadly, no. My day has been quite boring compared to yours. Just paperwork and a slightly burnt grilled cheese."
"Tragic. I’ll have to take you to that cafe sometime. Maybe we’ll get lucky and see round two."
"As tempting as that sounds, I think I’ll pass on the drama. But thank you for the update, babe. You always know how to make my day."
"Anything for you, babe. Now, tell me more about this grilled cheese situation. Burnt, you say? Sounds like a crisis."
You giggled, settling back into the couch, feeling the warmth of his ridiculous story still lingering. "Well, it started with the toaster oven malfunctioning..."
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amongemeraldclouds · 8 months ago
Text
not being romantic
Jess Mariano may be cute, possibly charming, but he is most definitely annoying. He certainly can’t hold a candle to your secret pen pal who’s smart, loves books, and aspires to be an author. Or can he?
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Jess Mariano x f!Reader
Warning: no use of y/n, mostly fluff, some angst, cursing, suggestiveness. This fic is set after he left Stars Hollow.
✿ Masterlist | 3.3k words
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The cafe buzzed with the rush of customers lined up for their afternoon caffeine fix. Coffee machines droned on churning coffee as sunlight streamed through the windows and the smell of baked goods wafted through the air.
You smirked at Jess Mariano before you called the customer to hand them their drink. You proceeded to add another point to your scoreboard, waving your arm for emphasis. He rolled his eyes at your dramatics and hurried up, adding whipped cream to the drink he was preparing. 
Everything was always a game with him. Who could get the highest amount of tips? Who could guess the new customer's coffee order? Who could make the most convincing foreign accent?
Today’s game was: who could make the fastest coffee order?
“You’ve gotten better,” he observed as you grabbed a cup for the next customer. “Aren’t you glad to have had an incredible instructor like me?”
You scoffed, “more like an incredible loser if you don’t hurry up with that order. Just because you taught me, doesn’t mean I’d go easy on you, Mariano,” you taunt, narrowing your eyes for emphasis.
He shook his head with a smile, “I expected nothing less from you.” He made his way to the other end of the counter to call the customer and handed them their drink.  
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Another busy shift flew by and before you knew it, it was time to close down the cafe.
You grabbed the scoreboard, beaming with pride. “I won! You can now call me the Queen of Speed, Barista Extraordinaire. Bow down before your queen.”
Jess looked up from where he was wiping the counter with a flat expression. “I’ll call you the Queen of Clean if you help me with these last few tables?”
You frowned at him and stuck your tongue out, of course he had a whole arsenal of retorts with him at any given moment. You grabbed the towel and disinfectant spray from behind the counter and moved to wipe down the tables. “You’re no fun, but I’ll let it slide since you now owe me a favor.”
“As long as I don’t have to help you dispose of a body then it’s fine,” he replied, eyebrow raised. 
You rolled your eyes, “if I ever need to dispose a body, it would probably be yours.”
“Are you confessing to something you’ll commit? I don’t think that’s very wise.”
“I’m not planning anything,” you sighed, pinching your nose. The conversation was getting more and more off topic by the second. “You, however, will be the dea*h of me.”
“I’ll add you to the waitlist,” he nodded as he set aside the towel and grabbed the key, ready to close for the evening. Of course that wasn't the first time that line was directed at him.
“You’re just trying to avoid what you owe me. Stop deflecting, Mariano,” you accused, heading towards him to return the cleaning materials. “I need your help with my toaster, it stopped working and I can’t afford to get it fixed or replaced. Can you help me with that?”
“Of course, anything for the Queen of Speed,” he replied.
“You forgot Barista Extraordinaire,” you added helpfully.
Jess just shook his head as if to say, I can’t win with you. He fought the smile that threatened to break across his features. Perhaps you too had your own arsenal of comebacks.
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With the final turn of the key, the door swung in and you and Jess headed into your tiny apartment. It was a studio that’s three steps away from the kitchen, five steps away from the bathroom, and ten steps away from the bed. You liked to keep it simple, minimalistic. It definitely had nothing to do with the cheap rent.
“Welcome to my apartment. It’s not much but it’s home,” you said, gesturing around the place.
“It’s cozy and it’s very you,” he remarked.
You folded your arms and stared at him, “I can’t tell if that’s an insult or a compliment.”
“Let me see. Second hand furniture, potted plants around the area, and the artwork looks similar to your napkin doodles. Don’t think I didn’t notice them. It’s a mosaic of different things, but you managed to tie it all together and make it work. It’s just like you to make good out of a potentially bad situation,” he observed.
“Slow down there or you’ll end up hosting shows about house tours,” you teased. “And hey, I’ll take the compliment. Who knew Jess Mariano could be nice?”
He shrugged, “I just call it like I see it.”
You took the three steps necessary to reach the kitchen. “Here’s the troublemaker, by the way. Not you, well, aside from you,” you amended and pointed to the toaster. “Not sure what’s wrong, it just stopped working.”  
He approached you and it struck you just how small the kitchen was, certainly not big enough for two. When you turned to speak to him, all the words left your mind as you realized you’re only inches away from him. Heat crept up your cheeks and you blinked.
Jess smirked at your reaction, keenly aware of the effect he had to you. That cocky bastard. He leaned in a bit closer and your breath hitched. “You know, if you just wanted me over at your place, there’s a lot of other fun things I can help you with.” You scrunched your nose and took a step back, immediately transported to the area you considered your bedroom. “If that’s your way of confessing your feelings for me, it’s not very romantic at all. Thought you’d have more game than that, Mariano,” you hedged.
“Oh, that’s because I’m not trying to be romantic. If I were trying....” he said, taking a step forward, closing the distance you tried to place between you. He brushed the hair away from your cheek, the touch so unexpectedly tender coming from Jess. You took in how soft his lips looked up close.
When he touched the side of your face, your attention returned to his soulful eyes. “...I’d do something like this,” he concluded, his breath against your lips like the ghost of a kiss. That’s all it took for him to steal the breath from your lungs.
You’re disoriented when cool air greets you again as he took a step back and the only trace left is the fading warmth from where his hand caressed your cheek. “But like I said, I’m not trying to be romantic,” he shrugged.
You cleared your throat, brushing off the lingering heat of the interaction. You ignored the pang of disappointment that hit you. Besides, someone else already had your heart, this was nothing but a silly little crush. “Well can you please try to fix my toaster?” you asked, trying to stay on topic as always.
“Sure, I have tools at home. I can take it with me and bring it back when I’m done.”
You nodded, “okay thank you. Let me just grab a bag you can carry it in.”
He scanned the room while you opened the cabinet to grab a reusable bag.
“Why do you have lots of mail?” He asked, thumbing through the pile of opened envelopes on your kitchen counter.
You mulled over the question, unsure how much you wanted to share with Jess Mariano and risk a round of his teasing. Then again, you could handle Jess. “Well, there’s this guy I really like. We send each other letters. If you really want to know what romantic is, Mariano, it’s hand written letters. No one bothers to write them anymore. There’s something sweet and sincere about it.”
“Who’s the lucky guy?”
“I’m not really sure. I got his first letter from the bookstore I frequent, the employee handed it to me and I asked him to hand back my reply. We just kept going from there, I think the mystery just adds to the romance.”
Jess shot you a worried look. “You mean to say, you’re corresponding with a complete stranger? For all you know he’s hiding his identity because he’s a stalker or a serial killer.”
“Please, he is not. He is smart, funny, and he’s writing a book. I just don’t feel like he’s that type of person.”
“You’re going off this based on your feelings? I don’t think that’s wise or safe.”
“Jess, it’s fine. There’s nothing to worry about,” you replied, having had enough of him for the day. After handing him the bag with the broken toaster, you shoved him towards the door and out from your apartment, wishing him a good night.  
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“That was quick,” you said as you headed out of the cafe and walked towards Jess’ apartment to retrieve your now functional toaster.
Jess shrugged, “it was no big deal, just had a few loose screws to reattach. Speaking of loose screws, how about that imaginary boyfriend of yours? Finally decide to reveal himself?” 
You sighed, Jess had been on your case the whole week since you told him about your mysterious crush. Needless to say, you regretted telling him about it. “No, but he hasn’t written to me recently,” you pondered. “He must be busy writing his book.”
“Or planning your untimely demise,” he retorts.
“Jess, I swear,” you grit your teeth, “I’ll be planning your untimely demise if you don’t drop it. Why do you care so much? Are you jealous? Is that what this is about?”
“Well I’m trying to look out for a coworker, why does this have to be about me? But hey, I’ll drop it,” he relented. “Besides, I won today so you owe me a favor.”
You groaned, but don’t say anything further. He won fair and square, you were ready to accept your fate.
Jess continued, “My uncle sent some food last night and I have a lot more than I can finish myself. Help me with that before you leave with your toaster?”
“Jess Mariano,” you narrowed your eyes at him, “are you asking me out for dinner?”   
“No,” he quickly said and then caught himself. “We’re not going out, we’re dining in. Besides if I were being romantic, I might bring you flowers, pick you up, take you somewhere nice. So this,” he said, pointing between him and you, “is not me being romantic.”
“And there goes Mr. Defensive,” you smirked. Of course he was not being romantic, not to you. He had a hundred and one ways to tease and annoy you but never to charm you. Still, you couldn’t help the way it killed you just a little inside.
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“I swear if you tell me this is where the magic happens, I will smack your head,” you deadpan as Jess opened the door to his apartment.
“Why does that turn me on?” He teased. Your face twisted in confusion and disgust and Jess laughed triumphantly, having drawn out a reaction from you. You had no idea you were adorable, he thought.
“Just welcome to my home then,” he said. 
You stepped in, admiring his cozy space. You imagined a messy home with leftover containers and soda cans strewn about reeking of old laundry and faded furniture. You had little to no expectations at all.
Instead what greeted you was a small space, similar to yours. The bed was made, blanket tucked in neat corners and the furniture, while undoubtedly secondhand, was well maintained. If anything, the mismatched pillows against the pale blue sofa and the sanded down wooden table gave it personality. It smelled like subtle household cleaners and carried the scent that is so distinctly Jess, a mixture of soap and sweat, plus a hint of cologne he would never admit to wearing.
“It’s very you,” you remarked, “and I don’t mean that as a bad thing.”
He shrugged, handing you your toaster, “I’ll take it as a compliment.”
“Thanks again for the toaster. Now there’s only one troublemaker here in this room,” you quipped as you move towards his kitchen to help him set the dinner table.
“That’s definitely you,” he replied, handing you the plates and utensils while he moved to heat up the food from the fridge. “Hand me the glasses over there?” He asked, pointing to the drawers on the opposite end.
You nodded, setting down the plates on the table and headed towards the drawer. “Well, I’ll let it slide just this time because you’re feeding me and I can’t say no to free food. Thank you Jess,” you said, a small hint of affection blooming in your chest.
You opened the first drawer and found only papers. You were about to close it to check the next drawer when the familiar edge of stationery caught your eye. It was exactly the type of paper you smiled at for hours on end, trying to memorize each word. Curiosity got the better of you and you lifted a half written letter to your eyes. A half written letter addressed to you.
A storm of emotions struck you then: confusion, hurt, and anger. All this time. The boy who weaseled his way into your heart, who called you cute in his first letter and wanted to get to know you. Who charmed you into the romantic idea of secret identities like spies undercover. Who shared your love for books and had the best recommendations that made you feel seen like no one ever has. Who spoke about his love for writing with a passion that inspired you. 
All this time it was Jess Mariano.
All this time it was a lie.
Just another one of his games.
“What about those gla—” he stopped mid-sentence when he turned back and saw you reading his letter.
“Fuck,” he exhaled softly as heat crept into his cheeks.
You looked at him, fire burning in your eyes. “Is that all you have to say, Mr. Fantastic Writer?” You huffed, trying to quell the tears that threatened to choke you. 
Jess opened his mouth and closed it, wanting to say a million words and failing. You watched the war raging in his head.
“Well then indeed, fuck!” You exclaimed in frustration. “And fuck you too. I know you love your games Jess, but you can’t just go around playing with other people’s feelings.”
You retreat and grabbed your things, shaking your head. “God, I feel like such a fool.”
You threw the door behind you and was a few steps away when you realized you left your toaster. Shame and betrayal marched with you as you opened his door again and found him still frozen where you left him.
“I’m just here for my toaster, which I actually need. Unlike you, I don’t need anything from you, Jess. I’ve read and heard enough,” you said, your voice wavered at the end and tears spilled down your cheeks.
You turned away from embarrassment, toaster in hand, and ran the rest of the way home. He didn’t deserve to hear your sobbing. He didn’t even deserve any of your tears. He was just a stupid boy that your stupid heart fell for. No big deal.
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The next week passed in a blur. Unable to switch shifts with anyone else, you called in sick at the cafe and lived life between your university, the library, and your apartment. Never mind that you needed the pay, you could drown in instant noodles for all you cared. It didn’t matter anyway. A broken heart never cared for a full stomach.
That Friday, you were about to call it a night when the doorbell rang. The was odd, you thought, you weren’t expecting anyone. 
“You’ve got the wrong—” you stopped mid-sentence when you saw the last person you ever wanted to see, Jess Mariano holding a bouquet of flowers and books. If it were any other day, it might have sent butterflies to your stomach. Now all it did was fan the flames of your anger because it was much easier to be angry than hurt.
You slammed the door close but Jess stopped it with his outstretched arm. “Are you trying to get yourself injured?” You accused and you hated it, how much you still cared.
“Please, I just need to talk,” he said, pain and sincerity etched in his handsome face.
You sighed and let him in, not wanting to cause a scene at the hallway. “You have five minutes,” you held up your hand for emphasis.
“Fine, five minutes,” he breathed, steeling himself. "Here’s a story for you: I met this girl working at a cafe. She’s smart and quick witted, she never runs out of comebacks. Her smile makes my day and I needed to see more of it so I came up with these games. And damn it, I looked forward to going to work every day because of her.
There was a nagging at the back of my mind to get to know her better. I wanted her to get to know me too, but I have a track record of screwing things up so I sent a letter. Just one couldn’t hurt, right?
Clearly, I underestimated her. One letter was never going to be enough. I loved hearing about her dreams, her stories, the inside jokes we created along the way. Without meaning to, I fell for her. I fell for you. It was never a game for me, all of it was real. Is still real.
When I heard you liked your secret pen pal too, I didn’t know if I should reveal myself or just disappear, let you forget me. Of course, I screwed things up again. I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you but clearly I have. Would you give me a second chance? I’m not good at this but I want to try."
He’s breathless by the time he ends his speech and you take a moment as the words settled in. No wonder he discouraged your interest in your secret pen pal, which also turned out to be him.
You sighed, “you really screwed it up.” Your heart broke all over again only to come back whole together because he did like you. All those silly gestures he brushed off really did mean something. And the boy you loved through letters and your cafe crush turned out to be the same person.
You pondered his question. The way he went about it was all wrong, but a second chance might be worth a shot. “Fine, we can start over, but you’ll have to make it up to me. You owe me unlimited favors.”
“I'll fix all the toasters you need,” he said, presenting you with the bouquet of flowers and books.
“Oh you’ll have to do more than that. I have a broken bulb on the ceiling, the heater needs fixing, and the microwave will definitely break tomorrow,” you taunted him, accepting his bouquet nevertheless.
He just smiled, “I have a lot to make up for, but I’ll do it for you.” He moved closer to you, bringing the bouquet to rest on the kitchen counter, so he can wrap his arms around you. “You’re worth it,” he whispered in your ear and you hugged him back, fighting off the delicious chill that ran through your back from his words. Being in his arms felt so right.
“You like me,” you sing, teasing him like a child and you enjoy the way his chest rumbles against you as he laughs.
“Don’t let it get to your head,” he said, kissing your cheek. “Besides, you like me back.”
You removed yourself from his hug, already missing his warm embrace. “I never said I liked you,” you teased. 
Mock hurt danced across his features, “what’s not to like?”
You laughed at his arrogance, the need to touch him overwhelming everything else. “Fine,” you relented, “we can call it even.”
You closed the distance this time, “just to be clear, this is you being romantic?”
He smirked, wrapping his arms around your waist again. “Yes, this is me being romantic and I will show you so much more,” he said, bringing his lips to yours with a thousand unsaid promises you were about to discover.
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✿ Masterlist
Author's note:
✿ When I came across a Jess Mariano fic, I just knew I had to write one too. Jess and his sarcastic ass in a (sort of) rivals to lovers trope, heck yes. ✿ Thanks to my lovely wife @pizzaapeteer for encouraging me to write this all those weeks ago ♡ ✿ Published this fic from a cafe, very on brand for the story.
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fairyhaos · 2 years ago
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how seventeen react to you kissing them and then running away
requested by anon: "Hello I saw that your request were open so I wanted to know if you could make a svt reaction to their s/o running away after kissing them ??"
notes: THIS IS THE CUTEST IDEA EVER. anon i am forever indebted to you pls this is adorable i loved it so much
masterlist
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seungcheol:
he doesn't think much of it when you walk over to him while he's on his phone on the sofa, thinking that you want to ask him something. hums in acknowledgement of your presence, then gets rlly surprised when you lean down super quick and peck him on the cheek. gets doubly surprised when you turn on your heel and sprint off, sitting there in shock for a few seconds before running after you, fully prepared to tackle you in his arms and demand even more kisses until he gets his fill
jeonghan:
you're probably taking a walk in the park, having dragged jeonghan out of the house. he's complaining, wanting to go back inside. that is, until you lean over (after having looked around to make sure there aren't too many people around) and kiss him full on the lips, right in the middle of walking. you pull away, but before he can say anything you're jogging down the path before breaking into a full-on sprint and he's yelling n running after you, wanting to know what that was about, partly aware that it's a ploy to get him to exercise but partly wanting to know if he can get more kisses
joshua:
to be really honest i think that, considering the man that joshua is, he'd just do the exact same thing. when you grab his face and kiss him rlly hard and then suddenly run away, he stares after you for a long moment before turning around and running off in the opposite direction. you turn back, wondering why joshua isn't running after you, and it turns out he's zooming down the street away from you and is basically a dot in the distance.  comes back for you eventually, especially if you send him loads of annoyed phone calls cz he does Not answer his texts
junhui:
thinks that something terribly dangerous is happening when you suddenly run away from him, and doesn't even look back to check if that's actually the case before he's screaming and running with you upstairs, thinking that someone has managed to set fire to the toaster again. realises it was just you being silly tho, and refuses to give you proper kisses for like a day until you apologise for making him scared and running away after giving him a kiss
hoshi:
is kinda a little dazed by the sudden kiss, so it takes him like 3 whole seconds to realise you're not in front of him anymore. he can hear you laughing from the other room though, and like the lovesick idiot he is, he probably just chuckles and touches his lips, staring out of the door that you ran out of with a sappy sweet smile on his face. goes to find you and kisses the hell out of you while teasingly asking if you ran away bc you became shy?? huh??? were you shy after kissing him???? <3
wonwoo:
you're not running away from this guy lmao nice try. honestly you'll probably try to do this like 5 times and fail, bc he keeps holding your waist or your cheek or your wrist whenever you kiss him like the goddamn heart-flutterer that he is. even if you're placing the fastest kiss on his cheek known to man, you're never going to be fast enough to run away bc somehow he has a hand on your arm and he's giving you a longer, deeper kiss and oh okay maybe you don't want to run after all—
woozi:
kinda just blinks there stunned, utterly confused about what just happened. finds you really cute when you pop your head back into the room when he didn't follow you tho, cz you look so adorable when you're all disappointed. tells you to do it again and that he'll definitely chase you this time, which he does, and with great vigor, and suddenly you're running for your life through the house and onto the streets with woozi sprinting after you
minghao:
he's reading when you come up to him, and he offers his cheek expectantly bc he's honestly gotten used to you just kissing him randomly now. sits there still looking at his book for a good few seconds when you speed away after pecking him on the cheek, before setting it down with a sigh and running off to find you. pretends to be annoyed and exasperated, is secretly endeared. definitely does the same thing to you a few months down the line
mingyu:
he's impressed by the way you managed to make his heart flutter ngl, bc the job of being the flirt is meant to belong to him but you just did it so well. grins after you like an utter fool, and after he catches up with you he's sweeping you in his arms and kissing you even more. tells you often that that was the sweetest, most heart-fluttering thing you could have ever done (as if he likes getting left behind???). probably melts if you do it again pls this man is actually so whipped
dokyeom:
when you lean in and kiss him very very gently and sweetly, he doesn't think anything of it, smiling and readily responding. but when you pull away, laugh, and then start running off, he's shocked and immediately starts whining, asking why did you start running away that's so mean :((( is complaining the entire time he's chasing after you. accidentally loses you, ends up playing impromptu hide and seek. hug this baby and give him even more kisses afterwards tho otherwise he's going to be sulking at you for days
seungkwan:
after kissing him so nicely and gently, you have the audacity to just giggle and run off??? keeps yelling after you that you're sooo dead if he manages to catch you. almost trips over his own feet, gives up chasing you and just phone calls you n begs for you to come back and kiss him properly bc at the end of the day he's still a smol baby n he needs real kisses and not just whatever that was </3
vernon:
the most confused. thinks that something must have happened, looks around confusedly but sees nothing wrong. then thinks that he was the one who did something wrong, but he's never had you run away like that before?? takes him a whole thirty seconds of thinking before he starts jogging after you to ask what was that about. gets all sulky when you tell him you did it Just Because, won't talk to you until you offer to buy him food
chan:
if you run away he's just going to laugh, if i'm being really honest. blinks after you, and then he's grinning and waving and yelling "bye! have fun!" as if you're running late to some important meeting. he's on his phone when you finally circle back to him, and just grins when you whine that he didn't react properly. apologises and tells you he'll react well next time, asks if you wanna go get something to eat and then, cz he is definitely a prank reuser, he kisses you on the cheek then runs off himself, getting you to chase him
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leopardom · 14 days ago
Text
so you happened to miss the live Q&A with Nace and Bojan on the Joker Out official discord server yesterday? worry not, i got you covered
Souvenir Pop Discord Listening Party - Q&A with Bojan and Nace ✨
questions are in bold and are all from discord
quotation marks are being used for all the the word-by-word answers by Bojan and Nace
dialogues between Bojan and Nace, reactions and some worth-mentioning moments are in italics
there were some questions about touring to specific places again or for the first time. answers to all of them were vaguelly positive, so i didn't include them here
the whole listening party lasted about an hour and a half so this is a long read
{steaming Muzika Za Decu and Šta Bih Ja and waiting for Bojan and Nace to join}
Q: How are you doing after the album release? [missed Bojan's answer] N: "Feeling as usual - super bad" *joking about it with Bojan*, had to get up early to take Pino to the vet
Q: Which artists were your musical influences for Lips? both: The Weeknd, Lana Del Rey and Nick Cave
Q: How did you do the screaming kids in Muzika Za Decu? N: initial recordings were done with kids of their friends. after bringing the tracks to their producer, he asked for more voices so they recorded more with some kids from a music school in Kranj (Nace's hometown). Nace was present in all those recordings
Q: Do you have any vacation plans? N: most of them are going to Thailand again B: Thailand is "too far away to call it a vacation" so he's probably going somewhere closer to Slovenia
Q: Why is Carpe Diem ever so slightly diffrent? B: they remastered the song because they realised the mastering they had done already was a bit bad - "that's why it sounded like it came out of a toaster compared to other eurovision songs"
Q: Any TV series recommendations? B: Atypical, Narcos, Peaky Blinders N: Game Of Thrones Nace asks Bojan if he's watching anything atm and he says only some history stuff. Nace and Kris are watching Naked and Afraid religiously, and according to Bojan, "in the van, outside the van, in hotel rooms, everywhere"
Q: How do you choose what the next song will be about? Are there any criteria? B: "The songs just happen as they do, a storyline usually comes with the vocal melody [...] The story is never a fake thing, it's always something real so there is really no choosing more in a sense of like "we have a couple of songs and we choose which one we're gonna have" but it's not connected to what the song is about. More like "what the song sounds like and what kind of a vibe we wanna put out""
Q: What is your go to effect for your instrument/for some songs? N: only uses drive and tape echo
Q: Which song did change the most during the recording process? B: Lips *Nace agrees* - it started as a whole different song called J’taime and was supposed to be an english/french or slovene/french duet and also very rock n roll
Q: Are there any more tour dates coming? B: yes but they have nothing planned yet so it will take some time
Q: If you had to live somewhere for 6 months where would it be? both: London B: "If I had to go live somewhere for longer, I would go to Palermo"
Q: Why are your songs so good!? How do you never make bad music? B: "We do, you just don't get to hear it"
Q: Who is writing the weekly updates? N: all of them *Bojan gets confused for a moment and doesn't realise they're talking about the openstage weekly updates*
Q: Thought process during the making of the album? B: "It’s a clusterfuck" *banter about how they love and hate what they do while making an album*
{break to listen to Carpe Diem and Stephanie. Pino starts barking at the first few moments of Carpe Diem and then Nace and Bojan realise they need to close their mic for that section lol}
Q: (question for Nace) What strings/bass equipment are you using and if you have any small tips for bass beginners? N: tip - "the equipment doesn't matter, what matters is what you do with the bass. start with lighter strings and try to learn as many songs as you can" // he's using D’Addario and La Bella flat strings
Q: Which song took the longest to finish? both: Šta Bih Ja (they crashed the studio pc because of the number of takes they had to do)
Q: What was your music inspiration for Mesto Duhov? both: there wasn't some specific inspiration music-wise
Q: Which song did y'all think think would be the fan favourite?? N: Bluza [missed Bojan's answer here because my laptop ran out of battery lol]
Q: Nace, what is your screentime on your phone because you‘re online like every time N: 9h 23min today “because it was release day”, usually is around 3-4 hours (Bojan's is 3h)
*Bojan proceeds to yap about how he's learning spanish on duolingo*
Q: Ever thought of selling posters ? It's a lil less expensive way to support you and also propaganda both: no because it's difficult to ship and they get ruined in the process. they may think about posters as merch for concerts only
Q: Who played the piano in Sonce? B: it's written and played by Jan N: "One of Slovenia's best piano players, renowned..."
Q: What happend with Schlager? B: "Nothing happened to it, it's doing quite well, we had a chat yesterday and everything is going fine in Schlagerland, but it couldn't make it to the album. Didn't feel like it. Maybe next time"
Q: When you first made music did you expect it to reach people so powerfully that it created year lasting friendships and have people travel so far to see you live? B: no because they were used to the way things work in Slovenia (smaller distances and sometimes people don't even travel from one city to another even if they're around 20 minutes away from each other) so this was very new to them but they're happy to see it
Q: How is the new album going to affect the setlist? Will you still perform older songs? B: the whole third album will be performed on the upcoming tour and there will be some variations on the setlists regarding the songs from the previous 2 albums
Q: Is there any possibility to hear you singing in italian on next albums? B: there was an idea for this album but didn't work out
Q: Do you have plans for a spanish song? B: "There was an idea called "si me das in beso más" but didn't go through [...] because it was getting into a reggaeton-ish direction"
Q: Will there be a french song in the future? B: J’taime was supposed to be one but didn't happen
Q: What about Souvenir Pop fridge magnets? B: they're considering it (Nace adds that he'd love to have one)
Q: Best slovenian cuisine and best places to visit in Slovenia N: food - prekmurska gibanica // places - Bovec and Bohinj B: food - kranjska klobasa and žlikrofi (to represent Jure) // places - Bohinj, Postojna cave, Logarska Dolina
Q: Nace, which cruise ships did you play on? We would love to have Joker Out cruise gig in Finland! N: the cruise ship he worked on was AIDAbella (belongs to german cruise line AIDA Cruises), he was there for 6 months and the cruise was in the Baltics B: would love to do the cruise from Finland to Estonia "where everybody supposedly gets extremely smashed"
Q: Was the writing process of Stephanie different, because you have Žare as composer but not Jure? B: the percussions were computer-based drum loops so maybe that's why
Q: Where do you get your inspiration from? Or do you just wake up with it one morning? B: "(inspiration) is memories becoming visible in your own head" - they all have memories and impressions in their lives that just get triggered when writing a song
Q: How did you get the idea of making Lips? It has such a different vibe of all the songs you have B: Žare showed them the heartbeat that can be heard in the song, Bojan came up with the "put your lips on mine" line and proceeded to finish the lyrics on their way back home from Bucharest after Summer Well fest. it was basically Nace who turned the idea of Lips into a song music-wise
Q: Why did you decide to release stephanie so close before the album release? Was it the plan all along? B: apparently he didn't know the song was getting released, he just saw it on their instagram stories and rolled with it lol
Q: Does lyrics just pop into your head and then you decide the story or do you decide on a common theme/story the song is gonna have and then make the lyrics about that? B: usually there's an insistent thought in his head and he works around it
Q: What do you think of Baldies Out? Which song do you want us to cover next? context: Baldies Out is a group on instagram which posts - you guessed it - bald edits of Joker Out. occasionally there are covers of Joker Out songs, adapted with lyrics that fit the bald theme of the account B: they could cover Lips and turn the lyrics into "put your hair on mine" or Ako Toga Više Neće Biti "so it's a man who's going bald singing to his hair - it's a song between a guy and his hair" Bojan is frustrated because he looks very bad bald meanwhile Nace finds himself cool in his bald edition, Bojan too believes bald Nace looks cool, Nace jokes about shaving off all his hair and Bojan says he'd like to see that and proceeds to complement his beard and tell him he'd look "badass as hell"
Q: What's something you want to experience in life but haven't yet? N: see mount Everest/visit Nepal B: have a farm *banter with Nace: he'd like to have goats, chickens, a horse, rabbits, dogs, cats and a bull*
Q: Why did you choose the openers for the tour that you chose (I love them) B: the answer was in the question; they love them too
Q: Also Romania misses you guys, please come back next year B: they all loved Romania and Summer Well, he then mentions how he's not a fan of festivals as an attendand and has been to one for a couple of days only once when he was 18
Q: Are the cities at the end of the Bluza MV a teasing of a European tour? B: no, they were just cities on the old radio they used for the mv
{break to listen to Ako Toga Više Neće Biti and Bluza}
Q: Ruisrock next year?! B: they loved Ruisrock this year and would love to be back
Q: What are your favourite books, if you have any? B: The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini N: he's currently reading The Creative Act by Rick Rubin
Q: What's your favourite Big Foot Mama songs? both: Buldožer, Led s severa, Neki sladkega
Q: Have you heard of the genre "midwest emo"? both: no (and they had to google it)
Q: What was the most cathartic song to write and why? B: Everybody's Waiting, Lips and Ako Toga Više Neće Biti
Q: What’s your fav Schlager (as in the German music)? N: mentions Semino Rossi and Ibo and the songs Ibiza (by Ibo) and Rot sind die Rosen (by Semino Rossi)
Q: Are there more songs like Muzika Za Decu & Mesto Duhov (more loud and rock) songs in the vault??? B: no, just these two
Q: Souvenir pop Vinyl/CD when? N: CDs will be available at the gigs but they're not sure when they'll be available online. vinyls will come around January/February
Q: What is your favourite memory from making the album? N: the recording of Ako Toga Više Neće Biti *Bojan agrees*
Q: Fav Finnish artists/bands you know? (Käärijä doesn't count) B: Sonny, Ville Valo *Nace agrees*, Sunrise Avenue and he loves the Blind Channel cover of Left Outside Alone (Nace says this is Bojan's guilty pleasure song) N: Pikku G
Q: When new merch? B: it's coming with the tour
Q: Would you like to receive Get Watermarked stickers next tour? context: it's a photo of Mark in a pool(or a hot tub i'm not sure) and someone edited the phrase "Get Watermarked" on it and turned it into a sticker for the sys tour both: they'd absolutely want one
Q: Do you often get stopped by fans on the street or any public places? Is there anything that irritates you? B: gets followed around often but people are not very invasive N: doesn't get stalked as much as Bojan and doesn't mind when fans stop him on the street
Q: Are you familiar with Käärijä's EuroPass on Kollekt and would you consider doing something similar in the future? B: they don't know what that is and "if it's good then we should consider it but if it's not good then we're not considering it"
Q: Tying onto the q before, restaurant reccomendations and favourite sight? Bojan's fave restaurant is Aftr and Nace's is Sushimama, they both agree that their fave sight is the Ljubljana castle
Q: I noticed you guys follow some of my fav musicians on instagram so i was wondering Nace what’s your favorite Declan McKenna song and Bojan what’s your favorite Greta van Fleet song N: Nothing Works B: doesn't have a fave GVF song, just likes the band
Q: What are the possibilities for JO (whether concert and/or meet and greet) in the US and/or the UK? both: they were supposed to play in NYC in May but it was a very last-minute thing and didn't manage to get working visas in time. they'll have a gig or more in the UK next year
Q: When you were at the Sziget festival, have you tasted hungarian foods? if yes, what was it? / when will be new products in the shop? B: has been in Hungary twice (once this year for Sziget and once as a child) but hasn't tried anything hungarian - ✨I love food no matter where it comes from. Hopefully the kitchen✨ N: new products will be online hopefully by the end of 2024 but they're not sure yet
Q: Is the concert in Novi Sad definitely happening? Due to the tragedy a lot of events have been canceled out of respect for the victims so there's been some rumors about it possibly getting canceled B: the concert will go on and the profits will go to the families of those who have lost someone and those in need
Q: Are you gonna come back to places you've already performed at during the EU tour, or maybe try to get to new cities? B: "A little bit of both"
Q: What's your fav spanish dish? both: paella
Q: How is the trumpet playing going? Will we see it on stage? B: trumpet playing is going great, will happen on stage at some point too
Q: Is there any connection between Mesto Duhov and the lyrics : "mesto polno je duhov" ? "mesto polno je duhov" is a lyric from Padam B: "There is no connection except for the connection that both of them were written by me and it looks like I have horrible imagination"
Q: Did any of you play any unexpected instruments for any songs? For instance we already know Nace has a guitar track and a drum track on the album but are there any other surprising credits? - Jan played lots of synths and bass on the chorus of Stephanie - Nace played synths and programmed the drums for Stephanie and Lips - Bojan played the drums for Ako Toga Više Neće Biti, bass on the verses of Stephanie and also did synths for Stephanie - Jure played piano for Bluza (???) all credits are written down on the album
Q: Any chance of coming back to Scotland next year? *they both chant "no Scotland no party"*
Q: Do you like BOOOM? both: yes N: he used to be their producer and worked with them on their first songs
Q: Can you give advice for young musicians like you? B: "Surround yourself with people you love and people who inspire you. Trust yourself. Always be critical to yourself but not to a point where you become self harmful"
Q: What do you value the most in life? B: health N: health and relationships
Q: What book could you recommend? Or if you can't choose one, what book are you reading now? B: The Kite Runner and The Alchemist (he then jokes about how Nace should recommend some Disney cartoon)
Q: Who had the idea using the piano for Sonce and who played the part? (I assume Jan but still) And can you upload the damn music sheet for it? I need to play this B: the idea about the piano was collective and if anyone wants the sheet music for the song, they should ask Jan for it
Q: If you had the chance to record and release a cover of a song of any of your favourite artists, which song would it be? *Bojan jokes about it being Gangnam Style* N: something by The Beatles, maybe Let It Be B: Silencio or Bulería by David Bisbal *starts singing Bulería*
Q: Nace, what is the best bassist joke you have ever heard? N: most of them are in slovene and he doesn’t say any B: "I think being the bassist is the biggest joke"
Q: How do you approach writing lyrics? Do you prioritize storytelling, imagery, or rhythm? B: prefers and prioritizes storytelling
Q: Which song do you personally find the most emotional and why? B: "Everybody's Waiting because it's like a very personal struggle song, Ako Toga Više Neće Biti because it's… a very personal struggle song" N: "Whenever I’m hearing Sonce I just get in this special state like I'm getting drown in a song and stop thinking about everything else"
Q: Assuming you’ll come back to The Netherlands in the future, is there another city you’d like to visit or a venue/festival you’d like to play? both: they'd like to play Pinkpop fest
Q: Would you ever like to hold a concert in Ukraine?? B: they'd love that and hopefully as soon as possible
Q: Will there be music videos for the new songs on the album? B: yes N: they're recording a new video soon apparently Bojan wasn't aware of that either lol
Q: Any Italian French or Spanish music that inspired you to try writing in those languages? Also Bojan you can pick two+ languages on duolingo and do them at the same time N: they we listening a lot to an italian song called Il mio canto libero, he loves Nek and he listens to a lot of french electronic B: he's listening to italian, french and spanish music a lot, he loves a song called Buona sera signorina (note: had to google this and maybe the title is actually Buona sera ciao ciao) both: they all like L'Impératrice and Bojan butchers the pronunciation of the band name
*at this moment Bojan finds out you can learn two and more languages on duolingo at the same time and proceeds to add italian to his account*
Q: 1 - What were some of the inspirations for Muzika Za Decu? 2 - Bojan can you tell us a dad joke? 3 - I just wanted to say that Lips should be a soundtrack of a movie B: party breakers *doesn't answer the second question because he's too busy doing italian on duolingo* both: they agree that Lips should be in a movie soundtrack
Q: Do you know when will you release the dates and the cities for the tour? I assume there will be a european tour for the new album N: there will be a european tour at some point next year and they will announce it "once Bojan stops learning italian" (Nace basically makes fun of Bojan doing his duolingo right at that moment)
{break to listen to Lips, Mesto Duhov and Sonce}
Q: Bojan would you try to sing Carpe Diem in estonian ever again? B: yes
Q: Can we expect a new concert intro for the tour for one of the new songs like the intro for Katrina and Gola? N: yes
Q: Is Bojan learning finnish in Duolingo? B: no, only spanish and italian
Q: Will there be a chance of a collab between Joker Out and Käärijä? B: hopefully one day
Q: Do any of you play chess? B: he and Kris play chess online, Kris less often than Bojan
Q: Will you pop a souvenir in Istanbul soon? N: they want to but have to find a date to reschedule the cancelled gig from this summer
Q: Have you visited any tourist attractions while in Bucharest? N: no and only he and Kris walked around the city centre for a bit while being there
Q: Nace, why did you bring four basses to the recording studio in Hamburg and did you record on all of them? N: one of those basses wasn't his and "when you're in the studio you just wanna have more basses"
Q: Is Pino the best boy in whole world? N: yes ❤️❤️❤️
Q: How do you guys decide to who to follow on insta? (for example fan pages,artists) N: they just follow the pages they like
Q: Apart from Nace and gluten, are there any things you all don't like or can't eat? B: he doesn't like tomatoes and is intolerant to avocado
Q: Do y’all notice Joker Out edits on TikTok? Do (did) you like them? N: he and Bojan don't have tiktok. Jure, however, is addicted to it
Q: Did you know that all of you are saving and changing peoples lives? B: "When we started doing music none of us could ever believe, or think even, that it could mean so much to someone as it does to a lot of you. Even though we went through so many different stages in a very short period of time, because our life changed so dramaticaly, I will say that the fact that you actually feel the music and it helps you in certain situations and hard times... I just want you guys to know that literally it means the same to us. The whole sharing of this energy is very real and we are trying to do our best to kind of make you know that we're here. And sometimes it's also hard for us because we're trying to tolerate our personal life and everything else with the music and with communicating with fans, but we appreciate it so dearly and we're happy that it's changing your lives and, just so you know, you're also changing our lives everyday. We're very, very honoured to have you on board with us and so thankful for all your help and all your enthusiasm, for all the love. You're incredible artists as well, we see the arts that you create daily - a lot of it is inspired by us which is also crazy and incredible so... Just a big thank you! And thank you to the Joker Out discord server, you're doing an incredible job, it's become so much bigger than what we ever expected. (thank you) to Joker Out Subs, all the groups that have been formed, as well as Baldies Out. I think it's a very big contribution to the bald Joker Out generation 💀😂. Just thank you so much!"
*Bojan presses something, gets lost in the server and both he and Nace are trying to figure out how to get back to the channel with all the questions (they succeed), they announce that an art contest will start (more info about that can be found on the latest-news channel of the official server) and Nace informs everyone he has to take Pino for a walk before saying bye to the chat*
end
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vanilladove · 6 months ago
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hiii hello vani<3 may i request smt angsty with dazai and reader in which he’s acting neglectful/unfaithful as a partner and you just deal with it? but you don’t hate him or anything you’re just really sad about it hehe tysm ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
☾⋆.ೃ࿔* ghostin
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gif creds fybugoustraydogs | divider creds benkeibear
₊ ⊹☁ pairing: dazai x gn!reader
₊ ⊹☁ genre: angst :,)
₊ ⊹☁ content warnings: distant/neglectful relationships; canon mentions of double suicide bc dazai lol...i couldn't bring myself to write a cheating dazai i'm sorry T~T inspired by ghostin + better off by ariana grande!
₊ ⊹☁ word count: 1.9k
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You shivered under the cold sheets when your alarm had woken you up. The space next to you was empty, your lover nowhere to be found.
It had been like this for months now, but it was nothing new due to the nature of his job. Dazai always became distant right before handling a new enemy for the Armed Detective Agency. He only disclosed vague details to you, explaining that withdrawing himself was a way to protect you since he didn’t want enemies knowing about you. Before leaving, he’d muttered something about keeping you away from “the demon”.
But you had to admit, the feeling of being 'safe' from a far away, unknown enemy didn't compare to being wrapped in your lover's arms, the soft kisses on your forehead, gently running your hands through his brown fluffy hair, and whispering sweet nothings to eachother. You missed his corny jokes and the nights you two would have together after drinking too much sake, giggling on the floor and watching the stars on your open balcony—Dazai always pointing out the constellations and telling you the stories and lore behind each one.
He had been staying at a secret location far from your shared apartment, so the sheets didn’t smell like his musky, warm cologne anymore. The space felt ghostly now, and hanging out with your friends barely helped. Stirring a sugar cube and cream into your morning coffee, the things they said repeated in your head.
“Just break up with him..."
"You don’t deserve someone who ignores you—especially if he puts work above you…”
"He's definitely cheating on you with all the travel he's always away on..."
Your friends didn’t understand though. They didn’t understand the depth of your relationship or how Dazai loved you. He was a reserved man; he didn't let anyone into his heart, always putting on a flamboyant front to mask his true self. Even becoming his partner and finally moving in with him was a feat in itself and was something he'd hesitantly accepted. You knew he had a traumatic upbringing and that the ones he cared for eventually left his life, often in a tragic way; the last thing his broken heart could take was losing you.
Which was why you put up with the cold sheets in the morning, the single serving meals, and all the sad movie nights alone—because deep down, you knew he cared about you. Your lonely conscious couldn't handle any other explanation.
You tiredly shaped the triangular onigiri filled with snow crab and placed it in the wooden bento box, along with some tamagoyaki and salad, savoring the momentary heat in your hands. It was Dazai's favorite lunch—something you used to pack for him everyday. You forcibly dragged yourself out of bed to make it for him after receiving a text—from an unknown number, of course—that he was stopping by the apartment to grab something. You knew it was futile waking up early; it wouldn't stop him from leaving with no explanation, from not being targeted by the port mafia, the hunting dogs, or "the demon". How silly and lovesick you were.
Closing the lid, you put the dishes in the sink and placed a piece of bread into the toaster, staring intently as you waited for it to finish, which seemed like forever. You took a sip from your mug, cringing when the lukewarm liquid touched your tongue. Shit, your coffee had gone cold. That never happened when he was still there.
The lock clicking snapped you out of your somber thoughts, and you turned your head around to face the self-inviting visitor. Gaze softening, you admired the tall man in front of you, wrapped in a tan trench coat, which you instinctively slipped off from behind him, his tense shoulders relaxing under your fingertips as you draped the coat on a nearby chair. Wordlessly, you both exchanged melancholic glances before Dazai made the first move, stepping forward to close the space between you two. His slender fingers slowly came up to caress your face, the foreign touch making your cheeks heat up. Leaning forward, he closed his eyes and placed a soft kiss on your cold lips, "Hi, bella."
Forcing yourself to open your lids again and not overindulge in the much needed contact, you smiled at your lover, but it didn't quite connect back to your eyes, "Welcome hom—errr—back...You needed something from here, right?" You replied, choosing your words carefully so he couldn't hear your evident desperation.
Dazai blinked carefully, "Yeah, a flash drive. It's in one of the kitchen cabinets. Is it fine if I look around for a bit?" You nodded, looking down at the tiled floor and smiling at nothing. Dazai was always like that, hiding important things in the most impractical places as a precaution. As he fished through the cabinet, he turned his head briefly to look down at the abandoned mug sitting on the counter, "Is that for me?"
You wiped the nostalgic grin off your face, reaching for your coffee, which you'd made in Dazai's usual mug, "A-Ah, no. It's mine, sorry," Dazai raised an eyebrow at you, "I made it earlier this morning, but it's cold now. I'll make you some more." You offered, trying to brush off his suspicions and the strange looks he was giving you.
He sighed, stroking your hair lightly, "It's fine, darling, brew yourself a new cup, and I'll drink this one." He gave you one last reassuring pat before picking up the mug and slipping away into your shared room to look for something else, giving you no time to protest. What seemed like a sweet gesture really had a double meaning: I'm not staying long enough for a new batch of coffee, so I'll just take the cold cup.
A pit formed in your stomach as you dumped out the used coffee filter and reached for a new one. Your vision started to blur, stopping you before you could open the lid of the coffee grounds. Wet drops falling on the back of your hands made you realize you were crying. Instinctively, you brought your hands up to cover your mouth and block any sobs from Dazai, who was still next door in your bedroom.
Stop it.
You tried to coerce yourself, but you couldn't help it. The despair was too agonizing; to have the one you needed most close to you but not being able to tell them to stay, to hold you, especially since you knew how precious you were to him—if you asked, he'd drop everything to stay the night with you. Everyone at the ADA was aware of that, which was why they'd sat you down and conveyed that you couldn't dote too much on Dazai. You understood that and had stayed by his side anyways, knowing that being with him sometimes was better than never. Even if it broke your heart in the process. Even if it meant crying silently in the kitchen while your lover was in the next room, oblivious to the tears wetting your sleeves.
Deep down, you wished he would notice the pain you were in. You wished he would text and call you more or at least take you out to dinner and do special things when he'd finally come back, but he always resumed your daily routines almost like he'd never left. It made your heart ache, feeling like he disregarded his long leaves and their effects on you. You sniffled quietly and quickly wiped your tears away upon hearing rustling from the bedroom doorway signaling that Dazai was almost done grabbing what he needed.
Inhaling deeply, you breathed in and out slowly to calm your frantic heart and turned to the side to face the counter as your partner walked back into the kitchen.
"Found what you were looking for?" You asked, trying to cover your face with your hair and sneakily wipe away any residual tears.
Dazai swiftly passed by you, going towards the chair to slip his trench coat back on and grab the lunch you'd made him. "Yeah, I found it. Thanks for the bento and coffee by the wa—" Your eyes widened as he trailed off mid-sentence, all of a sudden feeling his presence next to you. He bent down to peer over at your face, evidently still swollen and a bit red from crying.
He rotated your body towards him and pushed the stay hairs from your face, intently observing your features. "Bella, have you been crying?" He stroked your cheeks delicately, "And your eyebags are so dark...have you been getting enough sleep?" He looked genuinely worried, peering into your eyes for any sort of insights, but it was too hard to maintain eye contact with him.
"I'm fine...I—" You muttered, words trapped in your throat.
Tell him you miss him. That you don't want him to leave you again.
No, don't! Let him walk out as usual. Your sadness isn't worth letting a countless number of innocent people get harmed or killed.
Thoughts conflicting and wearing your tired soul out, you only mustered a weak smile, placing your cold hands on top of Dazai's. "If I died now, would you still die with me?"
"What?"
"You promised we'd commit a double suicide together. Would you still—" Dazai's arms wrapped around you, pulling you into him, his warmth and comforting scent making tears fall again, not knowing the next time he would be back. You cursed yourself internally for breaking down in front of him, but you couldn't hold your emotions in any longer. He only held you silently, running his hands through your hair as you sobbed into his chest. You felt lightheaded, crying for several minutes, the only condoling things being the scent of Dazai's cologne and the way he held you to remind you he was still with you.
You looked up from his chest, gazing into his chocolate brown eyes, which were swirling with uncertainty. A pained expression was on his face, no doubt from your actions. "I'm sorry, my love. I'm so sorry..." He lifted your face up to kiss your lips gently and kiss away your salty tears before pulling you back into his chest. "I was selfish to think you wouldn't be hurt by me always being away. I tried to turn a blind eye to focus on work, but..." He exhaled shakily, "...somehow I always hurt the people closest to me...even the one I love the most."
Dazai squeezed you tighter in his arms, "I love you, and I know we'll get past this, darling. I don't expect you to forgive me, but please, please don't think of resorting to that." He cradled your face, forcing you to look up at his broken eyes.
This was the power you had over him. Prison, criminals, and even the mafia couldn't break him anymore, but your tears could melt his gaudy, confident facade instantaneously and bring him to his knees. Exactly what everyone warned you about.
You nodded slowly, the last of your cry session being wiped away by Dazai's thumbs. You hugged him back, listening as his rampant heartbeat went back to normal, staring off to the side.
"Listen, bella, I'm going to be gone for a few months. I suspect I'm going to be arrested and sent to a high-security prison...probably somewhere overseas. We won't—we won't be together for a while." You heaved, holding your breath, "But," He turned your head to face him, "I'm going to stay here for a couple of days until then. Is that okay?"
Before you could think, you crashed your lips on his, and Dazai only happily kissed back, smiling, grateful to have cheered up his love again.
"Y-Yeah, that's fine. I love you, Osamu." You sniffled back. He could stay forever if he wanted to, but you'd take a few days.
"I love you, too, bella. I always will, even when I'm not with you. Enough for the both of us."
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kindaasrikal · 3 months ago
Text
I like to think that sometimes the ninja have elemental accidents that makes them deal with the wrath of Wu. I also like to think that sometimes those accidents actually help them.
Kai: starts to uncontrollably shoot fire from his mouth, and in a mission where they need to light a bunch of pedestals near the same time, it really comes in handy.
Zane: can’t help but freeze things each time he touches it, and in summer best believe everyone is clinging onto him for that refreshing ice to cover their skin.
Nya: When tied up and captured with the release button behind her, Nya is awfully thankful that for the past week her hair has been incredibly heavy with water and will not dry, since now its heavy enough for her smack the button with.
Cole: keeps making rocks float in the air, and has found a new past time making them spin around someone’s head each time they get a concussion. He likes shaping them into dumb stuff too. He also specifically does it around villains, so when they realise them in their confusion he can throw the floating rocks directly at their foreheads.
Jay: becoming a lightning rod is one thing, Jay being really worried as he shakes Lloyd who is slowly dying before accidentally electrocuting him, getting yelled at for doing it, only for Lloyd to shoot up and start breathing again is another.
Lloyd: When Lloyd can’t stop glowing green, he becomes an oversized flashlight when they have to go on a mission in a deep, dark cave. Lloyd is terrified like a lil baby since he has to lead and keeps screeching each time any noise is made. No Lloyd that wasn’t your father it was a rat.
Bonus+
Wu: once kept creating things out of his hands and couldn’t stop. Mystake and the Fsm loved it since he kept making tea cups out of his hands. Mystake swears that that was the first time she had gotten so much business.
Garmadon: kept shooting destruction beams out of his hands when he was younger and would have to keep his hands as fists so the Fsm wouldn’t realise. After being sent on an errand to the town they regularly visit, he accidentally opens his hand and shoots a beam at a house. Instead of getting yelled at by the people surrounding it, the people with yellow hats turned out to be construction workers who were tasked to break down the house for a new one to be built. They were literally just complaining about how long it would take when Garmadon shot it down to dust. The Fsm got ten letters the next day asking for Garmadon’s help.
Morro: once saw someone struggling to breath and panicked, cover their mouth, and after the the past week of accidentally making the wind stronger or weaker where the training grounds was destroyed multiple times and Wu had to tie everything floatable down, Morro accidentally became an oxygen mask as he pushed and pulled the air from the person periodically. After the person began to breathe properly again, Morro burst into tears because he thought they were struggling to breathe because of him. Wu had to sit him down and explain exactly what had happened. Now, in the present, Morro likes to make people shut up by taking away their breath for a second.
Euphrasia: once couldn’t stop making everything float before she got dragged into helping people move stuff around since she made it easier. She keeps having old grandmas asking her to carry stuff around and help renovate homes. She’s gotten sick of hearing ‘a little to the left- ohhh no more to the right!’.
Sora: kept accidentally breaking things and once broke some rich guys toaster. She then proceeded to try fix it only for her powers to go haywire and make a toaster deluxe 5000 when it can fry, grill, and toast bread to perfection with added on butter. She had to block the guy five times after he kept asking for her fix his microwave.
Wyldfyre: she became super sweaty after over using her element only for Kai to realise that the only reason his fire was able to make the bottle he was holding blow up was because it was coated in sweat from Wyldfyre’s hand. They tested it out and whilst Wyldfyre’s flames and normal ones can’t make it blow (if her flames did she’d be blowing up 24/7 and normal flames aren’t strong enough), Kai is perfectly capable of making her sweat into bombs. Ghost Wu is not amused when he sees his monastery on fire.
Pixal and Arin begin to not only be sick of all the elemental accidents, but also appreciate them for their usefulness, since Arin likes to use Kai’s flaming mouth to help bake pies.
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random-imagines-blog · 5 months ago
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Imagine being Bill Weasley's wife, and giving him the silent treatment.
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Bill was watching you, admiring you more like, as you put together breakfast. It was a funny sort of morning, with you ignoring him completely and yet, you were still making him a plate, not letting him go hungry just because you were annoyed with him. He knew he had been doing little things to bother you throughout the night, keeping you up with his constant affection, distracting you while you were trying to read a book. You were just too cute though, he couldn’t help himself - he felt like a puppy with a new owner, and was just trying to get their attention. His chest pressed against your back when he couldn’t take it anymore, his lips brushing against your shoulder. “Why are you so beautiful in the mornings, it’s not fair,” He mumbled to you, trying to see if he could break through your grumpy facade, but not to no avail. You just moved past him to put slices of bread in the muggle toaster. “Come on, Mrs Weasley,” He teased lightly. “Give me something.” What you did was give him an annoyed roll of your eyes. Mrs Weasley. Yes, technically, that was you, but after calling Molly that for so long, it felt like you didn’t deserve the moniker. It was one thing to hear it at work in a professional environment, but your own husband? Bill sighed again and decided to help, getting the orange juice and the jam that he knew that you liked out of the fridge when a sneaky little idea came to him. With all of his strength, he tightened the lid of the jam jar while you weren’t looking, in the hopes that you couldn’t open it and would have to ask him for help. Eggs were sizzling in the frying pan. You poured out two glasses of juice, sipping on one, and putting the other into your husband’s hand without a word. The toast popped from the toaster, and you set it on the plates, and set about opening the jam jar. Bill brought the glass of orange juice to his lips to avoid letting you catch the smile that was on his face as you struggled, your eyebrows furrowing. You looked up to your husband with an open mouth, but oh, you caught that expression. “You spend too much time with your brothers,” You told him, your first words of the day, and tapped the jar lid with your wand, which uncapped it easily. Bill still chuckled onto himself, feeling the victory of getting even those words.
Requested by: Anonymous
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