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l-wandering-etranger · 4 months

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okay but does helian yi even know of wenzhou? I know practicaly and canonically they would never see eachother as long as they live nor would have any contact. bUt- imagine if he recieves a wedding invitation on a random tuesday with no prior context and wonders why his friends are Like That. what if he goes in disguise and sees xiyuan there, freaks out and immediately starts cursing out wu xi

zzs freaking out and shaking wkx: I TOLD YOU YOU NEEDED TO GIVE LORD SEVENTH A DISGUISE-

wkx who wanted chaos: i just wanted to see what would happen-

lu ta coming from behind wu xi and running to jby: Dad!

jby: ...

wx: ...

zzs: ...

wkx: ...

helian yi: *starts hyperventilating*

#i love zzs and helien yi reunion fics #it always goes smth like #“this man? zishu you really wanna spend the rest of your life with HIM”#“atleast im with sm i ACTUALLY love”#faraway wanderers #word of honor #wu xi #jing beiyuan #lord seventh #xiyuan #lu ta #wen kexing #zhou zishu #wenzhou #helian yi

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maladaptivedaydreamsx · 8 months

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not me immediately getting jude from this

who did you guys get? 👀

#idk any of them i just see jude around a lot so it made me chuckle #@/judejazza and their wonderful posts i often run into #victor is apparently my opposite from these options and elbert is my 2nd choice or smth #(friends and i usually do 'quizzes' 3x to get our main/secondary/opposite)#anyway im just snooping around now. still not sure how i feel abt it but was never too tempted for ikevil.#the less gacha in my life atp the better ngl ;;;;;;;; its why ive stayed away from most of the new games and tryna limit current ones #though if they ever do finally drop ikegen (unlikely asf) ..... count my ass in #i can't even be mad ikepri dropped bc ive enjoyed it so much more than i ever thought i would. easily my fav or 2nd fav bc ikerev #i still adore ikerev and magic and the world building and everything.. alice is just pretty dumb sometimes #which is why i adore b&tb-esque belle/emma so much. also why i like mai in some routes (ikesen humor op)#ikevamp has always just kinda been there tbh. usually the events feel more interesting than the routes ngl;;; charas are fun tho #anyway let's see how this bad boy goes #who did y'all get??#ikevil #ikemen villains #my post 📫#aerin.jpg #from the official ig acct btw

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f0rgetf0rgetting · 6 months

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the brainrot goes crazy when do i get normal

#GET ME OUT OF HERE #PLEASE #its so embarrassing liking this show i thoguht i left it behind on 2019 #i always thing of that saying that goes ‘you always go back to the please in we’re you were happy’ or smth…….#it happened with op…..also vocaloid…….now irs ososan turn……#might happen with htalia as well. but shhhh dint tell anyone….#osomatsu san #osomatsu san fanart #ichimatsu #choroko #karamatsu #choromatsu #osomatsu #jyushimatsu #todomatsu #not tagging their full name screw that‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#ph. btw #they have no cutie mark bc they are all losers with no job

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introspectivememories · 2 months

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I FORGOT I EVEN SENT THAT ASK AND YOUR RESPONSE HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK OHMSYGODDFJDJ

I seriously love your writing so much you always put a heap of emotion into it 😭😭

also adore the idea of TIM being the one who's obsessed with bear and going to such lengths just to keep seeing him, I tend to prefer happy endings so I like to think they work it out after a while but like also the angst is amazing

god the amount of yearning in this au makes me so mmmpfhhhf

god im just so sorry that it took me soo long to reply!!! you sent just as i was taking my break from tumblr and other social media :(((

i remember reading it and thinking to myself "god if i had the timbern brainworms, i could write smth for this" but then recently they've been coming back and i was a church bored out of my mind when i was like "hmmm maybe i should respond?"

and ohhh my god, when i first got it, i immediately thought about how toxic it could get and like, personally, i feel like i can't write complicated characters? if that makes sense? to me, im not very good at writing multi-dimensional characters. which to be fair, i never set out to become like a pulitzer prize winning author. i just do this for fun haha.

and like i knew that my answer to your ask was always gonna be toxic timbern but i didn't know if i could write it? ig??? bc like tim is a good person. he is!!! he just wants bear so badly. and it's past the initial physical attraction now.

he and bear are all grown up. he likes bear's wit and humor, well the wit and humor he gets to hear when bear doesn't know he's around. but bear wont let him in!!!! bear wont open himself up and tim's apologized!!!! he did!!! he doesn't even know what he did and he still apologized!!!!! and it changed nothing. bear doesn't talk to him or look at him or anything. nothing but polite professionalism.

and then one day, he sees bear on his balcony as he's swinging through the streets of gotham. and bear isn't doing anything special, he's just sitting there in sweats and no shirt and the moonlight hits his pecs just right and his shoulders are so broad and-

well he cant be blamed for stopping to take a peek, right? and maybe when he has has time he swings by more and more. just watching for longer and longer, until one day bear catches him. and as they stare at each other from opposite sides of the street, tim thinks this is it. the cold glances and frosty words are going to come back. bear's never gonna just sit on his balcony again. he's lost this too. but then-

oh.

bear sends him a hesitant wave and tim raises a trembling hand to wave back. and bear- well bear's mouth splits into a smile brilliant enough to rival the sun. beautiful like the sunrise. the promise of a new beginning. if he closes his eyes, tim thinks he can feel the sunlight's warm rays on him.

hes' hooked after that. he comes around again and again. one day bear lets him on the balcony. weeks later, bear's hugging him. weeks after that, tim's in bear's lap. and he knows it's not right. that bear thinks he's someone else. that bear doesnt want anything to do with him but how is he supposed to let this go? how is he supposed disentangle himself from bear's arms?

so he lies and he lies and he prays to any and every god he can think of, that he'll get to keep this. plus he's not really lying to bear, he's just... not talking about it! if bear asks, he'll tell him point blank. he swears it. but that's a problem for another day. things are looking up! bear said more than 5 sentences to him the other day and yesterday? he even got a small smile. it'll all work out. he'll be fine.

#i have to stop answering asks. it always turns into word vomit #and like tim knows bear is never going to ask. bear would never ask robin to compromise his identity like that #so it is lying by omission. kind of. he's taking advantage of bear. love under false pretenses? i feel like this is textbook smth #i just dont know what #and i keep thinking of after it all falls apart and tim stupidly goes to visit bear on his balcony #and bear is sitting there crying. tears streaming down his face as he sniffles. and it's ugly and there's snot and bear's biting his lip #to try and stifle any noise he might make and tim's frozen on the fire escape of the opposite building and bear looks up #and even now he's still the prettiest thing tim's ever seen. a tear rolls down his face the moonlight glints off it #bear's gorgeous and tim did that. tim made him cry like that. tim's the one who broke his heart. who took his trust and twisted it beyond #recognition. and they stare at each other for a few moments before bear's face shutters close. hastily wiping his tears away #bear steps back inside and locks the door. there's nothing left for him out there anyway.#also me saying that stuff about my writing isn't me needing reassurance or anything. it's just my opnion of my writing abilities #as of right now. so like dont think you have to reassure me or anything.#how did this get so long???? this was just supposed to be me talking about my thought process to the previous ask #and then it turned into this #as always nothing in the veil!au is set in stone. not even this. please do whatever you want with the au!!!!#timbern #timber #tim drake #bernard dowd #veil!au #asks #introspective.txt

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ezlo-x · 2 years

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✶

#i always tend to forget what i tag my original work #oc art #my art #bear #rabbit #anywayz bitches when you want to hug your younger self or smth it goes like that

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espurr-roba · 4 months

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khux-era keykid! might probably have their character tweaked and developed as time goes on, but this was super fun to design

#their opinions on the dandelion leaders are pretty set in stone though #adores skuld and ephemer; is close to them #has no qualms with ven and lauriam; just doesn't see them often enough #and always seems to see brain when he's at his most suspicious; wary of him #i'll have to come back to this with a fresh pair of eyes but there's so much fun stuff to explore with the player #smth smth that one joshua line in ddd that goes “by ourselves we're no one. but it's when someone looks at us that we start to exist.”#i think that's a fun connection to the name talos considering the greek mythos of it all #like thematically #haven't finished drafting the ML design but her name in that life is nemo and i love them #kh #keykid #khux player #kh oc #kingdom hearts #my art

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orcelito · 5 months

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Super sexy me is so sexy I accidentally set off the fire alarm while baking pie shells for my pumpkin pie. And now I don't know if I should've even baked them in the first place. But well. Too late now 👍

#speculation nation #i am not a fucking baker so something always goes wrong when i make these pies 😭😭😭#but i am craving my grandma's pumpkin pies... i gotta bake them myself if i want them rn...#see the thing is ive previously bought pre-baked like. graham crusts #but i was like 'that crust sucks lets get a different thing'#so i got tbis dough shit that i put into pans. the box said to bake it. and so i was like ok cool #then as they were in the oven i looked at the pumpkin pie recipe for starting the filling #and then saw that it says 'unbaked shells' and so 😥😥😥😥#but too late now and it worked fine with the graham. and well. the filling is what i care about the most.#the crusts are just an excuse for having pie filling.#anyways i did set off the alarm. i think it's bc the oven was on so hot #the box says 450 which is hotter than i ever usually do. the pies themselves ask for 350 #so well i turned the oven off and i have the microwave fan running #which oh yeah the fucking handle to my microwave fucking broke. it fucking broke.#i think i'll duct tape it or smth lol. microwave itself works fine still. and i dont want people in my apartment.#it's just the bottom part but it sure did just. splinter off. that shit is Broke broke.#and i scared the shit outta my cats And me with that damned alarm. and now i am just waiting.#calming down some. chilling the crusts. soon i will resume making the pie filling.#it's not like it even takes much time i am just. Nervous now.#i wanna let the oven cool off more b4 i have it going for like 45 mins lol #the crusts are kinda ugly. one of them is inflated on the bottom. these pies r going to be disasters.#so long as they still taste good......thats what i care about the most...#maybe my crusts will end up nuclear... if that happens tho ill just eat the filling out of the crust... its fine... ill be fine...#😭😭😭😭😭😭 why is everything so hard

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letterstotheflre · 2 years

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daryl's love language is being able to provide for you

#he's always worried about you being hungry so he makes sure to always have something extra for you to eat if you want to #if he goes scavenging to a store he brings smth back especially for you (like a chocolate or granola bars or smth like that)#so when u guys are at alexandria he keeps going out to hunt bc he's worried the food will run out #also thinks that otherwise he's not worth of being w you if he doesn't have to be the main provider now #daryldixon #daryl dixon x reader

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averlym · 11 months

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" just...come here. just sit here with me" (...that one scene from princess momonoke, click for better resolution)

#tw death mentioned for the tag rambles!! (sorry)#meme redraw gone wrong (high effort). don't ask me how i did this- i don't know either. consider this perhaps an AU of the pyre scene?#or more accurately just my internal wonderings visualised. sometimes the vibes from the implications don't pan out the same way #i also lost the original sketch somewhere in my papers. alas. i vaguely recall thinking this would be haha funny and then somewhere down #the line it turned to angst. other quotes that inspired this from the show were 'ily. i'm sorry' and 'i will always be so proud of you'.#smth smth they met on the roof!! vincent stops quincy from jumping off and then. vincent tries to die + eventually quincy kills him on the #very same roof. anyway the quincent death scene was spinning around for a bit in my head and out of the miscellaneous sketches this won out #wanted to play w the strong blue lighting + bg + silhouette things that you get w stage lighting // replaced the knife w vincent's scalpel #quincy is kneeling bc poses + idk why it's fun staging for him ;-; // also the proximity + intimacy.. // the pyre is also in the bg #but it's silhouetted behind quincy. i think the last quincy post made me associate symbolism (help??) bc as i was painting i was thinking o #angel wings ksdjfh // not to mention the halos. halos are always fun to paint.. shiny stuff...#and from the last vincent art. i guess the star and eye imagery carried over. hm. tried to get the quincy halo to match so its like a #rounder less spiky star? which hehe aligns w the sun vibes (that i??can't explain??) but more importantly here i was thinking about #binary stars for the glowy parts. two in orbit in pull to one another.. tension.. ue. also the glow for vincent goes to stabby eye so like #behind the face shown to viewer. meanwhile for quincy it goes in front of the face #and of course u have the downward linking implied line from quincy's tears +scalpel + glowy eye.#this is supposed to be rotatable.. in landscape form u can have either quincy or vincent upright (pov) + it should work both ways #//bonus stuff is vincent holding the skask w bloody hands + shadow looks like blood spatters. like it would if quincy did the stabby.#hhhh this is the most. confused i have been making a piece lately.. just toss in a lot of fun visual stuff and mix..#if the rambling analysis here seems pointless and confused i think that's why. this is why u should plan out your essays o.O..#oh. stuff i just remembered: the whole impetus for vincent planning his own death was so quincy would be happy / it's already #mentioned before quincy kills vincent that he's severely injured- vincent says it's fine- ig u could intepret it as a finishing blow?#hastened over the phaethon announcement- when they make the second announcement quincy looks up smiling until the admin gives it to #beatrix-he didn't know.. // <- so for this it's possible to infer that vincent wasn't very attached to living anymore.. hence why they look #more accepting above. while quincy is looking very angsty and conflicted. yeah.. // tldr! don't look into it too deeply it's a meme redraw #adamandi #quincy cynthius martin #vincent aurelius lin #tw knife

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karinasbaby · 7 months

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I needed someone to share this with, but I found this picture of Jake and idk how to act bc it's giving dark and possessive behavior 🙈

oh. my. god. u came into the right inbox because this is PEAK vampire jake and vampy jake literally gets me weak in the knees so 🫠🫠

#ahem ahem #possessive vampy jake who doesn’t allow u to walk outside the house without his pretty red marks on your neck 🤗#and no i’m not talking about hickeys i’m talking about his fang marks.#possessive & dark vampy jake who’s actually insanely in love with u and cannot stand the thought of someone else seeing u #so he’s always following u around like a shadow even if u don’t notice it #possessive vampy jake who’s literally addicted to ur blood. like nothing tastes the same for him anymore not even blood bags help him so #he begs and begs and whines and whimpers for u to allow him to feed off ur blood just one more time #and he gets so whiny & so turned on the second u allow him to latch his teeth onto u :(#vampy jake who literally moans against ur bite marks while he drinks u up #makes sure the area goes numb so he doesn’t hurt u as well !!#and once u start pushing him off bcs you’re getting dizzy he starts to just lick & kiss ur marks gently #aftercare with him would be so sweet :( he’d make sure that u eat healthy & filling meals everyday #not only for ur blood but for ur energy as well bcs he’s a FREAK #okay i’ll stfu now but vampy enha is smth that lives in my mind rent free.#ithinkishouldwritefullonheadcanonsaboutthematp #but vampy possessive jake 🫶🏼🫶🏼#thank u so much for sending this baby <3 #dreamy sigh.#asks & responses <3 #ᓭི༏ᓯྀ‧₊˚ — ♡ 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.#𓆩 𓂋 𓆪 alvojake ♡#— jake?!

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ariseur · 2 months

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is it psychological torture if i’m watching given and banana fish at the same time

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voidscreamns · 1 year

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./

#i dont think i’ve talked my nonverbal!Diluc hc on here yet #but i keep seeing posts abt disability/chronjcally ill/neurodivergent hcs for genshin characters so here’s one from me #idk i feel like after That Night™️ and being on the run from the Fatui/working with a secret organization #diluc not just learns the ‘value’ of keeping secrets and staying quiet but also internalizes his guilt and trauma of saying smth that could #hurt people #it started with him telling Kaeya that he’s not a Ragnvindr anymore and then is exacerbated by his 3-4 Year Fatui Murder Rampage thru Teyvat #and with all ghat trauma and self-deprecation and paranoia he just. stops talking.#he picks up sign language in Fontaine and still writes but at some point he just stops talking and never speaks again #when he comes back to Mondstadt it was hard to adjust to for both him and the people around him #Kaeya initially assumes that Diluc just refuses to talk to him until he later hears gossip abt how no one has ever heard him speak since he #came back. he goes to Adelinde and/or Elzer abt it and they tell him that they neve even hear Diluc so much as hum or grunt #afterwards everyone changes up real fast— Kaeya and Venti drinking at the bar and seemingly just talking at Diluc but they’re always #observing his reactions and body language even when they’re drunk #Jean tries her best to be patient but she has a hard time reading him bc he’s changed so much in the time he’s been gone #Adelinde & Elzer and the winery staff are the most communicative he’s with— Diluc is far more likely to write with them to communicate #at some point Diluc has a business meeting with some rich dude from Fontaine or smth #Kaeya walks in bc he has an actual important mission thinf to discuss and he sees Diluc and this Fontaine dude and the dude’s wife #moving their hands so fast and with all kinds of gestured and stuff #and it’s the first time Kaeya sees Diluc look so EXPRESSIVE— he’s frowning and raising his eyebrows and mouthing words and all this #and Kaeya just goes ‘what’#turns out the Fontainian dude is deaf and both him and his hearing wife know sign; she helps interpret this to kaeya for the dude and Diluc #and Kaeya is like ‘oh okay’ and goes to the kitchen like ‘i’ll just wait here till yall are finished’#and he sees Adelinde and Elzer there with stoic faces and they just. stand there in quiet for so long.#Kaeya finally says ‘…..so. sign language huh’ and Adelinde and Elzer have the most pained looks on their faces #later that week Diluc finds like everyone around suddenly doing basic signs with him #he later learns that the winery has ordered a shitton of signing books from Fontaine and are trying to learn #+ Kaeya and Jean too with help from Lisa bc like dont you know learning several languages is a requirement for graduation from the Akademiya #soon the use of sign starts spreading in Mondstadt— there might be some small communities where they have their own native sign but it’s not #as standardized nor widely known as it is in Fontaine #this is getting really long so I’ll stop here but yeah. nonverbal Diluc who signs fjskdjs

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willowfey · 1 year

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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 9 months

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please pray for me I feel like I'm falling apart

#somewhat surprisingly I mean physically #I have this one sensitive spot on my gums that off and on bothers me sometimes that's flaring up #and a swollen gland or smth in my neck -- again something that's happened before is probably caused by stress and always #goes away in a day or two #and I have been chugging water but I still feel dehydrated #amongst other things #I know it's probably stress from being in charge of a whole house and farm by myself for two weeks #(my usual gig is two dogs and two horses for four days at a time #)#allll of my issues can probably be explained by the stress of being Locationally Isolated but it's stressing me out #even MORE #like. help #anyway.#prayer request #Lu rambles

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waywardsalt · 2 months

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anyways ph you know when you finish the temple of fire and head back down to the ship and find that linebeck isnt where he usually is, because he’s at astrids? what’s he doing there

#ofc the basic oh its so the player gets that scene with everyone and it prompts you to walk into that scene #but looking at it away from game stuff. hey man whats up whatcha doin over there #its interesting to me while i think abt it now #loz #legend of zelda #phantom hourglass #linebeck #salty talks #cuz like yeah he’s met her before he knows what her deal is but you kinda get the sense that he’s not too enthused?#like if anything he was put off by her somewhat ominous fortune and was like well it doesnt have to be my problem #but later he’s just. at her place. likely of his own volition at a fortune teller’s house. whats up man #its after that second meeting that you get astrid reassuring lnk n ciela that linebeck will eventually be useful too #i dont think ive thought much abt this but it is like. what was he doing there what did they talk about its interesting #just like. a little thing that is one of those fill-in-the-blanks kinda things that could be good for fan speculation #its actually funny bc i always thought abt a scene in my own ver of events where he goes to her at some point for guidance or w/e #n forgot that yeah he does just visit her during the game. i dont really get the vibe that he just showed up right before link does either #anyways on occasion ive thought abt doing that thing where you draww characters or smth from smth and assign them tarot cards and whatnot #for the ph main cast i’d do sun for link moon for linebeck and stars for ciela and the other spirits #i think that fits them. anyways linebeck at astrids whats going on there

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piplupod · 3 months

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feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.

#part of me wonders if going to the centre is helping or hurting more #but i think it's definitely helping more. however it is definitely also hurting/making some things worse #i just wish I could be operating at the same level as most of society #and i feel so egotistical when I talk abt this #but like. why am i always so fucking aware of every single thing going on #and everyone else is just painfully oblivious #I AM USING HYPERBOLE. ITS NOT EVERYONE. i know im not the only person ever lmao #when i got my autism diagnosis i thought oh good okay so THIS is why im such a freak #and now I've met so many other autistic ppl irl and um. no. no thats definitely not it still.#yes its probably part of it but im also just. so fucking traumatized i guess idk. i hate this so much #i just want to be the same and fit in and not be analyzing everything and be able to actually speak my mind #and not be so kind and polite and respectful all the time and be able to say shitty stupid things without thinking anything of it #im so tired of being the only one who seems to care so much about everyone else's comfort and feelings #but also at the same time i would hate if i acted like everyone else bc i know how shitty it makes people feel #and people are always so happy to see me because I am useful and make them feel good and comfortable and heard #and that matters. that means a lot to people i think. but also I am not a person. i am a tool.#and I'd really like to be a person #i somehow feel like im operating at a higher level/awareness than almost everyone irl and also way below everyone at the same time #like im so hyperaware of everyone else more than most ppl but im also so socially inept sometimes. and just... idk how to be a person.#i dont know i just want to not be like this. its so lonely and tiring and i want to matter to people #i want them to like me for more than just what I'm able to do for them. I want to be liked for Me i guess. but Me isnt likeable maybe #Me is uncomfortable for people. Me is a trembling cornered prey animal with a longing to tell stories but is too afraid to do anything #and so Me just exists in a hollow shell made out of people-pleasing and fawning and mirroring everyone around them #and then i get lonelier and more isolated and nothing really changes. but every time i try to crack open the shell a little it goes badly #like i genuinely dont think its my paranoia. i think it is not Safe for Me to exist properly.#i am too sensitive probably! but it does very much feel like a raw wound that peope jab aggressively at when i open up a little!#boy howdy i sound like such a wuss. i mean i probably am one fjfkdl #i just feel like I keep trying to fix things and improve and try new things and nothing ever really works well #my counsellors have always commented on how impressed they are at my willingness to try things #and its like ?? yeah ! ofc i am going to try things! maybe that will be smth that finally helps!

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