#isnt that what the toddlers like these days…

[citizen-card]

frev modern au where horace desmoulins watches skibidi toilet

[skunkes]

the way I've been raised has shown itself in a recent awful experience I had and the realization won't leave me because I'm not sure what to do about it.

I don't like feeling anger/upset and it's rare for me to feel it anyway but it's led to me being unable to tell what's worth getting upset over anymore. If my wants upset somebody, then, well, maybe I shouldn't have them? What is so serious that I need it to go completely my way...? What desires am I allowed to have. It's not that serious, it's okay if not, you can't always get what you want....

every time I feel Upset I am later wracked with guilt because it wasn't a big deal and I was just being selfish... What IS a big deal then? How can I tell? Its admittedly never a big deal... But I keep being upset. And stepped on....

[oh-okay-kay]

one of my preschoolers brought this to school today???? i asked her where she got it ??? and she didn't really know???? she said smth about it being for christmas and that she loved it ??!!

[milf-harrington]

it'll be late but i think im gonna try finish this stobin fic by the end of the week instead of by tomorrow bc i simply lack the time and braincells to just sit down and smash it out like i want

[lovecrazedpup]

i dont want to sleep

[lookingforhappy]

all the people saying stuff abt the deli being fives name

i dont think its his name, but i also think its a missed opportunity to do something fun

like. fives name has been a tua mystery since day 1, why doesnt he have a name, was it his choice, if so why stick to five, how were the others given names and is that why five didnt get one etc etc

and none of those questions have been answered within the show (they have been answered outside of it but the statements of the creators often conflict with whats actually seen in the show.. so not reliable info basically). so there is an opportunity here to do what we did with ben in s3 - show how much five changes across timelines.

and in one sense, they could be making a statement here. five, unlike ben, is commanded more by nature than nurture. he always ends up the same regardless of his circumstances.

but given the general lack of care seen this season i generally think that the deli and the fives are more so a display of a lack of attention. the reason they all wear the same suit and have the same hairstyle, and are all the same age with the same appearance, its the same reason five doesnt change outfits after 7 years in the subway. the creators didnt care.

so i think that this would have been a really interesting opportunity to explore who five could have been. bring back old five, show us apocalypse five, toddler five with older fives looking after them, fives who got to have a family of their own and fives who were never a part of reginald's adopted children at all. irish fives and american fives, maybe even jewish fives if we follow aidan's faith/ethnicity (?).

we could have seen fives at different stages, fives from s1 and s2 and s3. we could have seen how five from the phoenix academy could butt heads with five from the umbrella academy over whose siblings deserve to live more. we could have seen founder five, missing arm and all, before he founds the commission. five from the comics could have made a cameo.

we could have had fives with different names. fives who grew up in the academy and did choose names. fives who were named by their birth mother. max could have been a five name, along with a thousand other names, and it could have shown that fives name isnt about him needing a name but instead how his family has affected him and how he sees himself.

instead we got.. basically nothing

this post is not about brisket five hes perfectly wonderful as is

[zombholic]

MILF ABBY WITH READER WHO HATES KIDS HC — abby anderson

description — milf!abby, reader who isnt that great with kids, age gap, reader is around mid twenties and abby is late thirties going on forty, smut, mdi !!,

authors note — literally all my creds and inspo goes to @elliespassagerprincess i literally love their milf abby series pls go read it !!

— You and your friends know that you do not have a single motherly instinct in your bones, you and kids do not mix well together.

— This one time you were just strolling while shopping and a toddler came up to say hi to you and you just stared at it wondering what to do.

— If there’s a child screaming at the top of their little lungs you literally give it a death glare.

— You also call children “it” and make everyone laugh every time you talk about a kid.

— But if it wasn’t for Abby’s six-year-old daughter Melanie who came up to you one day at a your local grocery store crying like snot bubbling at her nose and she looked sticky trying to hold your hand you wouldn’t have met your future milf wife.

“Oh, uh hi— why are you crying?” You let the little child grab your pointer finger as you tried to hard to fight your inner demons from the stickiness of her little hand.

“I— I can’t find my mommy.” She used her other hand to wipe the snot off her face, you could feel every nerve in your body cringe. You felt bad for the thing but jesus why are kids so fucking sticky.

You and the kid sat on one of the benches inside the store, you bought her some candy to make it stop crying and it worked. You did inform an employee that there was a lost kid, they spoke on the intercom after telling you that if the parent isn’t here in a certain amount of time they would call law enforcement.

“So, what’s your name?” You pinched your eyebrows together looking at the small being next to you devouring the ring pop like her life depended on it.

“Melanie but all my friends call me Melly.” She gave you a toothy smile well … she was missing majority of her teeth so half toothy smile?

“That’s … nice? You have friends?” She shook her head, her two little braids looked like she got into a street fight.

“Yeah, a lot like a lot of friends, what’s your na—“ She was cut off by a woman’s voice calling out for her.

“Melanie!” Both of your eyes shot up at the… holy fucking fuck she was breath taking.

— You found out that her name is Abby and she has a little escape artist for a child, she hugged you tightly with those giant arms thanking you for keeping her baby safe.

— Abby was truly taken back by how beautiful you are, she was quick to tell you she’ll repay you and managed to get your number while doing so.

— You guys ended up bonding really fast, even though you two were almost complete opposites she was so fascinated by you.

— She invited you over to dinner at her house and fuck was she loaded, not like you were in it for the money but damn must be nice.

— She genuinely found it so amusing how you would interact with Melanie, treating her like a little adult. You weren’t the type to use baby words towards kids you just spoke to them.

— Melanie really resembled Abby to the T, she had her mom’s blue eyes, freckles, the cutest nose but she had blonder hair, you just assumed it was from the dad.

— After months of basically hanging out with them you guys felt so inseparable, you still would give concerning expressions whenever Melanie would do something weird.

— Abby was falling in love you, whenever all three of you would watch a movie that Melanie always picked out and yes you did argue with a six year old about picking movies she would just have the urge to grab your face and kiss you.

— For halloween you bought Melanie an inflatable dinosaur costume with a pink tutu, you literally were crying from how silly she looked holding Abby’s hand.

— Abby was so reluctant to make the first move, scared that she was too old for you but little did she know how much it turned you on that she was older.

— You decided to ask Abby out on a date, you called her up while you were at home, heart beating out of your chest when she said yes.

— The date was at the arcade, cheesy but Abby always won you prizes every time you guys went with Melly. She beat at you literally every single game and being competitive you just glared at her.

— Melanie was at a sleepover at her friend’s home so you and Abby had the place to yourselves, after the date you guys were chilling in her kitchen Abby finally had the courage to kiss you.

“Can I please kiss you?” She looked at you with those pleading eyes, a slight whine to her words.

NSFW mdi NSFW mdi NSFW

— She pinned your back against the counter, her hand cupping the side of your face, the kiss felt so warm but soon became greedy.

— She carried you to her room, your legs wrapped around her waist, arms around her neck as you drove her fucking crazy kissing on her neck like that.

— Abby has a Daddy kink, she had her strap settled deep in your drooling cunt, legs on her shoulder, thrusting so fucking deliciously making you claw at her arms.

“Mmmgh— oh fuck Abby..” Your eyes were rolled to the back of your head, knuckles white from the grip you had on her arms.

“Daddy, call me fucking Abby again and I wont let you cum.” She slapped your face, grabbing it with her hands squeezing your cheeks together.

God this wasn’t the sweet, motherly Abby you knew but some sex god who would fuck you so stupid it left you an incoherent mess.

— She had crazy stamina, had you in every position, face down with your ass up, riding her cock, your back pressed against her front as she spread your legs open drilling your bruised and aching pussy.

— She was so mean, she mocked your moans, bit your skin, slapped your tearful face every time you stopped looking at her. You couldn’t get enough of this side of her.

— She over stimulated you so much you were sobbing, trembling every time she would touch you, your legs shook violently.

Abby had her arms wrapped securely around your thighs, spreading them open so wide. Her tongue lapping you up, sucking on your puffing clit, sliding her tongue inside your sore cunt.

“Daddy please! Too much, s’too much, too much” You squealed, crying out trying to push her head off of you.

— After long hours of her using you, she was so quick to turn her motherly instincts back on. Kissing your face so sweetly, her eyes filled with worry that she pushed you over the edge.

— You reassured her that it was the best fucking sex you’ve ever had. She started a bath for you, sitting right behind you as she massaged your aching body, running her fingers over the love bites she left scattered on your body.

— She held you so tightly as you both had fallen asleep on her amazing bed.

[ot8xbangchansgirlsblog]

Love the 0T8 story and requests... I have a request, please...

All of the members love on the omega physically, but chan really wants to be the one who breeds her first. He has this overwhelming desire to see her full with his pups. He has dreams and " gets off" to the image of her and hearing her sweet moans. One day he see omega helping han with a sprained wrist and seeing her all motherly and lightly scolding han for running in sock in the house, just makes him feral. He has reader go to their shared room and basically tried his best to ask if she would want this, without jumping her. They discuss it and she reveals to him she is due for her heat in 3 days and he rushes to his calendar and notices he is due for a rut at the same time. So they decide to do it then and we'll 3 days later and all the boys away, they go crazy and a few months later, hello plus sign!

ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪.

Warning: fluff/smut/blood

Summary: Request!

TW! Mention of Mpreg.

Only Felix and Y/n are omegas

A/N: Please note that this isn't my normal content and there is quite a graphic link in the chapter! This was quite very uncomfortable for me cause i never write smuts BUTT it was such an interesting experience and i would not mind writing smuts again if you guys are interested in it. Im just giving you guys a heads-up cause idk how i feel about like my wording and stuff.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

📍Studio

"Chan you've got to tell her, her heat is in 3 days," Changbin groaned. "Quite frankly i think all of us want to put a baby in her but you're taking too long."

"I know, i know. It's just that. I'm nervous bin," Chan replied. His hands were in his hair as he struggled to focus at the task in hand.

Producing music.

Ever since him and Felix did the show where they had to hang around a toddlers, he couldn't stop thinking about getting his Luna pregnant. He couldn't stop thinking about her walking around all swollen with a bump.

Just the thought about him and his packmate's putting so many babies in her made him go feral and he couldn't take it anymore.

"Well you better figure it out because lix's heat is after that and if you want both omegas carrying pups time isnt on your side," Changbin shrugged. "You know lixie would never allow to get pregnant before Luna-ssi."

Changbin was right. Felix would never allow to disrespect Y/N like that and the alphas would never get any of the omegas pregnant before he did.

"Don't you think i know that Changbin? Im trying okay? just give me time," He huffed before laying his head down on the table.

📍Home

“Jagi, I got all the snacks you asked me to get!” Lee Know called out as he walked through the door, hand in hand with Han.

“Coming!” Y/N responded quickly, her voice bright with excitement as she hurried down the stairs.

Lee Know smiled at the sound of her little footsteps approaching, followed by a delighted squeal.

“Hey babe!” She got on her tiptoes to give him a quick kiss, then turned to Jisung, offering him the same affection.

“We tried to get everything, but we just couldn’t find the heating pads you like, so Channie-hyung said he would bring some on the way back from work,” Lee Know explained, handing her the grocery bags so she could check everything.

“Oh my— you guys are the best! I think that’s all I need,” she said, her eyes sparkling as she rummaged through the bags.

“If you need anything else, just tell me, okay?” Lee Know said, removing his jacket and shoes as Han followed suit.

“Your heat is in three days, my love. Please don’t forget like last time, and don’t eat all the snacks!” Han whined, making his way behind her into the kitchen as she began to unpack.

“It was one time!” she fake-pouted. “Plus, I’m going to put these away. Can you help me start on dinner?” She turned to Han, who was already rolling up his sleeves.

“Yeah, sure! What should I start with?” Han replied, eager to assist. He washed his hands quickly, ready to make her life a little easier.

“Maybe start with the meat?” Y/N suggested, looking around the kitchen. “There it is— it’s quite a bit, so I’ll help once I store these away.” She handed him the package resting on the counter and moved to grab her snacks and drinks for the ‘heat’ room.

“Be careful! The knife is sharp!” she warned before turning to leave.

“I will,” Han smirked, watching her walk away. Her body moved with a sway, and he couldn’t help but groan, cursing his alpha for being so utterly in love with her.

As Y/N walked away, she caught a hint of Han’s arousal in his scent and giggled softly. She loved how her alphas were so drawn to her; it made her feel confident and beautiful, just as every omega should.

“I’ve gotten all the scented clothes I could find and some fresh sheets, baby! Where should I put them?” I.N interrupted as she made her way down the corridor towards the basement.

“I’m about to go downstairs. Can you put them down there? I’ll probably start nesting tonight,” she replied, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She felt an overwhelming rush of love for him as he took care of her so well.

“Yeah, sure, anything for you,” he smiled, following her down to her heat room. Her scent grew stronger, wrapping around him like a warm embrace.

“Just place them there,” she said, pointing mindlessly to the bed before starting to stock the fridge with everything they had brought home.

Once I.N placed the clothes down, he made his way over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Her scent had become sweeter since last night, and he craved the closeness.

“You smell so good. Let Alpha take care of you,” he mumbled against her scent gland, his voice low and soothing.

“Baby, I know you want—” Suddenly, a loud yelp followed by a cry pierced the air, making both of them jump.

Y/N sprang into action, wanting to ensure everything was okay. She dashed out of the room and into the kitchen, I.N hot on her heels.

“What? What happened?” she panicked, rushing to Han’s side and examining his pained face.

“I cut my hand!” he whimpered, seeking comfort from her.

“Oh, Hannie, I told you to be careful!” she pouted, gently taking his hand to assess the cut.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s not that bad. Go to the living room. I’ll be there in a second,” she said, slowly shooing him to sit down. He frowned but obeyed her instructions, reluctantly heading to the living room.

“Innie, can you finish this up? I’ll be back in a bit,” she asked, passing him a clean knife.

“Yeah, I got it. Don’t even worry,” he replied instantly, releasing a soft scent of pheromones to calm her, sensing the tension in her scent.

Grateful for his help, Y/N grabbed the first aid kit and made her way to the living room. It was empty, meaning the boys were probably in the gaming room or the home studio, likely oblivious to what had just happened.

Rolling her eyes, she sat on Han’s lap and gently took his injured hand. “How many times do I have to tell you to be careful with the knife, Jisungie—” she began to scold him, her voice laced with concern.

“I’m home!” The pack alpha called out from the door, interrupting their moment.

“In here!” Y/N called out, continuing to scold Han as she tended to his hand.

The house smelled sweet, and Chan recognized Y/N's scent immediately. It enveloped the space, overpowering everything else. A mix of honey and vanilla, it was reminiscent of baked goods, filling him with warmth but also an undeniable hunger.

How was he going to face her? His alpha was already growling and howling, barely making it through the door. He hated her heats; they completely unraveled him. Now, on top of that, he was grappling with his own rut, and her intoxicating scent was only making it worse.

“What’s going on?” he smiled, forcing cheerfulness as he stepped into the living room and took in the sight of his two mates on the couch.

“Han cut his hand,” Y/N sighed, glancing back at the pouting boy.

“I said I’m sorry, noona,” Han whined, his voice a mixture of embarrassment and pain.

“I know, baby, but you can’t keep being clumsy like this. Just the other day, you twisted your ankle playing football with the boys,” she chastised gently.

“And chan you need to talk to him because he’s been getting hurt a lot, He wont listen to me!” she added, furrowing her eyebrows in frustration.

“Baby—” Chan groaned internally. Why was she going into ‘mommy mode’ right now? Of all times, especially in that sundress he loved. He felt utterly screwed.

“Okay, I’ll talk to him,” he sighed, instinctively covering his front with his laptop bag as he felt heat rise within him.

“Good! Now go get the boys for a snack. You guys have had a long day,” she instructed, her voice sweet and satisfied with herself, completely unaware of how turned on Chan was.

“All done, baby. You’ll feel better, I promise,” she said, placing a gentle kiss on Han’s plaster before getting up to clean up the mess. Chan stood there hesitating, his eyes wandering over her body.

This rut was going to kill him, and he felt it tightening around him like a noose.

After dinner, Y/N found herself seated on the floor, carefully trying to help Hyunjin with his brushes when Seungmin called for her running down the steps. She could see the worry etched on his face as he paced in the living room, clearly upset.

“Y/Nnie!” he called out, rushing to her side.

“Yes, my love? What is it?” She looked up at him, curiosity sparkling in her eyes.

“Can you please help me fix it? It ripped,” Seungmin pouted, sinking to his knees between her legs.

“Oh dear,” she frowned, taking in the damage. “I can fix it! Let me grab my sewing box.” With a warm smile, she gently brushed his hair away from his eyes.

“I really need to get you to a haircut,” she sighed, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead before standing up.

“Fine, but not too much!” he huffed playfully.

“Deal. Just a trim, I promise.” She took the sweater from his hands, making sure not to disturb the others gathered in the living room.

As Chan watched Y/N interact with Seungmin, he felt even more confident about putting a baby any her. The way she cared for them—so nurturing and loving—made his heart race. He couldn’t help but imagine her with their future children, how gentle and warm she would be. A blush crept up his cheeks as he entertained some playful thoughts about their future.

“Can I come?” Chan’s voice cut through, curiosity evident in his tone. This might be his chance to steal Y/N away for a moment.

“Yes, of course! It’s going to be boring anyway,” she shrugged, leading the way to her room with Chan close behind. Once there, he settled onto her bed, admiring her as she worked on the sweater.

“Y/N?” he called softly.

“Hm?” She looked up, and he felt a warmth spread through him—she was so soft-spoken and gentle.

“What do you think about having kids?” he asked, not wanting to waste another moment.

She paused, a small smile forming on her lips. “Well, that’s kind of my purpose as an omega, you know? To be bred and nurture pups,” she giggled.

“So you’re open to having a pup right now?” His smile widened, heart racing at the thought.

“Yes, baby, of course I am! I’ve been waiting for a while, actually. You know I’m not getting any younger,” she said, laying the sweater aside to sit on his lap.

“Is this why you boys have been trying to sniff me every time we… well, you know?” she teased, raising an eyebrow.

When omegas get pregnant, their scent changes distinctly, and it was no secret the boys had been checking to see if she was expecting.

“Y-yeah, but we wanted to make sure you were sure since your heat is coming up soon, and I want to be the first—” he stammered, feeling a rush of excitement.

“I’m all yours, baby. You can get me pregnant,” she confirmed, and Chan felt like he was soaring. His hands wrapped around her, pulling her into a deep, lingering kiss.

“I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you too,” she replied, her eyes sparkling with joy.

Trigger Warning 18+:

The next day was rough on Y/N’s body. Her cramps had begun, and all she could do was stay in the heat room, wanting to avoid triggering any of the boys’ ruts. Chan was already feeling his own rut coming on, and it would be difficult for the pack to function with two of their mates in such a state.

She had successfully built her nest, surrounded by soft blankets and pillows, and now she was nestled in the middle of the bed, wearing only a big shirt that Lee Know had given her. The fabric felt comforting against her skin, a reminder of the love and care from her mates, but it did little to quell the throbbing ache in her abdomen.

Y/N shifted slightly, trying to find a comfortable position, but the discomfort was persistent. She focused on her breathing, willing herself to relax.

In between her legs felt like it was on fire as her insides clenched around nothing. Her womb screaming to be filled by one of her alphas. Her nipples were sore under her shirt.

"Hurts..." she whimpered as she squeezed her legs together looking for some type of friction.

Slick was building up and sweat made her hair stick on her skin as her body burned, "Alpha," she cried knowing the boys could hear her through the bond. "Need you please," she whimpered in pain.

Outside the door, all the boys except Chan were trying to calm themselves down. I.N couldn't stop pacing back and forth, and it was starting to irritate everyone.

"I.N, get your shit together!" Seungmin shouted, smacking him hard across the face.

"If he doesn't go down there to breed her, I will," I.N growled, rubbing his cheek.

"He has this one chance and he's not even here," His alpha was furious with Chan, knowing that Y/N was currently suffering down there crying for one of them.

"You know, Chan said he wanted to be the first," Leeknow got up making sure to stand in front of the other alpha. He wanted to make sure I.N didn't charge towards the basement.

"I'm not letting you try to strip that honour from Chan, he's the pack leader. He gets the omega first." The tension in the room thickened as the two alphas squared off, eyes blazing, each unwilling to back down.

"I'm here," Chan stepped into the room.

"No need for all this min, you know it's just his I.N's alpha talking. Step down," Chan's voice was hoarse and he looked awful.

Leeknow scoffed before grabbing his keys. "I can't stand being in here anymore hyung. We have to leave. Just for our sake," He grabbed his duffle bag off the ground.

"We'll see you guys later, Felix call me if things get bad," Changbin was dead serious knowing how rough Chan could get when he was all alpha mode in his rut.

This was a rule in their pack. They knew how possessive they could each get over the omgas so they all just would leave the house and go down to the cabin until it was all over.

"i will, i love you guys and stay safe," Lix walked them out to the car before waving them off and coming back into the house where he found Chan almost collapsing.

His scent was now even stronger and more musky than before. He knew his alpha's rut had began. It was probably because he was now closer to Y/n. She was just a few doors down.

"Oh no, Hyung!" Felix gasped, "Did she trigger your rut already?," he said concerned. Felix quickly ran to the alpha's side to stabilize him from falling.

"I need to go down there now," Chan couldn't take it anymore, his body sweating as he took each step.

"I-if I hurt her, Lix-"

"You won't, Hyung. She trusts you. You've never hurt me before. You'll be okay," Lix kissed his lips before slowly helping him inside the room. His eyes were fully deep dark red. Fuck, game time.

There she lay. her legs spread apart. Little whimpers escaping her lips. She was shaking probably from the pain.

"i'll come check in on you guys in a bit," Felix whispered before quickly leaving the room.

"Alpha?" she looked up from her position, her eyes were glistening.

"I'm here babygirl," he was soft, trying not to jump at her. "Does it hurt hm?"

"Please, n-need you. Need pups. Need to be full. Please," she fell into his arms as her legs quivered. He let her sit right on his throbbing dick.

"You were supposed to start your heat in two days, you just couldn't wait to get pregnant hm? Needed me to breed you so fast?"

"N-no," she whispered. She looked away shy and embarrassed.

"Oh?" he furrowed his eyebrows, "In that case should I just go call-"

"No! No pack alpha always first. Need you. Wanna be a good luna. Wanna carry Alpha's babies," she cried gripping onto his shoulders.

Her nails dug into his skin as her core touched directly on his. She let out a painful groan and started to grind.

"Baby stop that," he groaned, removing her and laying her on the bed. She lets out a whine and cries in frustration.

"I'm gonna take good care of you, my sweet luna."

"Just put it in, please," she interrupted, her eyes flashed gold then blue. Her omega was fully in control.

His hand pinned her down into the bed, his head slowly nuzzling into her shoulder. Her scent fogging his mind as she let out little whimpers.

Her legs wrapped around his waist and he continued to slowly leave small kisses down the sensitive skin around her gland. She felt like slick was now pooling under her as she squirmed at the sensation.

"Gonna let me mark you up, princess?" he growled into her ear. His teeth slowly sank into her skin on the original mark that she had.

She let out a loud moan as he started to lick the bite. She felt like she was going to go feral.

He ripped her shirt apart and she squealed, his mouth landing on her nipple (A/N: Lord save me, I hate this sm).

"Ch-Channie, sensitive," she whimpered, "sensitive." Her body was on fire. Her legs wrapping tighter around him.

He looked up at her before admiring the marks on her neck. He was proud of his work of art.

In no time his pants were on the floor, her eyes landed on his raging boner. His tip pink and swollen already leaking pre-cum.

His hand then slid in between her folds as he slowly guided his dick into her entrance. She's screaming, she's squirming, and both his hands quickly pinned her waist down.

"Behave," he growled and slammed himself inside of her.

"Oh Channie, so deep. Oh my-" Chan's eyes landed on her bare tummy, his panting on top of her.

"Look at this, baby, I can see my dick in your womb," he smirked as he watched the bulge.

"Mnfhggg" she's in lala land. She can't take it anymore, it's just so deep. She cant talk.

"So full alpha," she wraps her arms around his neck.

"Gonna be walking around with a baby bump hm? Gonna grow my baby in you?" He groaned.

"Yes...Please. Yes! Gonna be a pretty mommy just for you," She was crying. Her tears soked the blanket as every thrust pulled her closer to her orgasm.

"So fertile for me baby, look at you," That was the push chan needed. He felt his dick twitch before he came deep inside her.

TW: Chan breeding Y/N link

When Y/N’s heat finally subsided, she lay in chan's bed now, her body marked with bruises—deep blue and purple prints decorating her skin like a canvas of passion. She was completely out of it, lost in the haze of post-heat exhaustion.

"I think you really did it this time, babe," Felix teased, pulling the damp sheets off the bed with a smirk. They were cleaning up the heat room since Felix's heat was soon coming and slick was really hard to get off sheets.

Chan beamed, a glow of satisfaction radiating from him. "Those were the best four days of my life," he replied, his excitement palpable.

Felix chuckled, tossing the sheets into a pile. "Do you think she’ll be able to go to work on Monday?" he asked, his voice light despite the situation.

"I doubt it, but we’ll see," Chan groaned, stretching his limbs before grabbing his phone from the bedside table. He felt the weight of fatigue settling in, but his heart was still racing from the intensity of the past few days. "I’m gonna check on her and then pass out for a few hours. Thank you for taking care of us these past few days," he said, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on Felix’s lips. Without him, Chan wasn’t sure how he would have managed to care for Y/N.

"Anytime, hyung," Felix replied, his voice warm.

Chan’s eyes twinkled with mischief. "Are you ready for your turn?" he smirked, a teasing glint in his eye. "I promise I’ll be more gentle with you."

Felix's cheeks flushed a deep crimson. "Yes, alpha, I am," he stammered, the thought of being the next omega to be bred both thrilling and embarrassing. "But I think we should get you rested up first."

"Yeah, well, I can’t wait," Chan laughed, the sound echoing with joy as he headed toward the stairs.

As Chan slipped into the room, he couldn't resist the urge to lay down beside Y/N. She was fast asleep, her breathing gentle and even. With a tender smile, he rested his hand on her lower belly, feeling the soft curve beneath his palm.

He marveled at how her abdomen had already begun to swell, a beautiful sign of their growing family. The thought sent a thrill through him, excitement bubbling up inside. Soon, they would be parents, and their pack would expand in ways they had only dreamed of.

Chan closed his eyes for a moment, allowing the reality of it all to wash over him. He imagined their little ones, the laughter and joy they would bring, the chaos and love that would fill their home.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Don't forget to reblog and follow! <3

A/N: Thank you anon!

Taglist: @ihrtlix@bowsnbang@katsukis1wife@thegingerthatwaited@thicccurls

@xxeiraxx @paleangelsweets @klaydohart @eastleighsblog @ivrespace

@galaxy4489 @purplepursepaint @catlove83 @sillystormsstuff @iwuberic

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[agirlwithglam]

hard work? at least put in the work!

as my mom once said to me:

"forget hard work! at least do work"

please, for some of us, talking about "hard work" is far away for us. so forget about working hard. what about just working? not working hard, just doing at least something for your future, yourself, your family. or are you okay with being a huge disappointment to others and yourself?

just doing the bare minimum at least for yourself! you don't have to go over the top or make it so hard for you. at least put in the bare minimum so you don't have to live the worst life. okay?

doing at least 5 pushups + 5 squats a day

studying a bit for exams

saying one affirmation of self-love a day

if someone talks to you, don't try to run away from the convo.

all this isn't hard. its just what every human being should be able to you (not talking about anyone with disabilities, thats a different case). okay?

the first step to this would be to reduce the amount of screentime everyday. i don't care if its "educational" or "self improvement", thats all bs. whats actually gonna make a difference is that instead of tricking your brain into thinking you're doing something or telling yourself "i'll work my hardest tomorrow", you don't work your hardest today but you work.

putting in little effort is still putting in effort.

i know that a lot of you are gonna be like "no but i believe in myself that i can put hard work into something i care about!" so okay. good job for believing in yourself, love that. but... are you actually gonna do it? or are you going to continue to sit and watch "educational" "self improvement" videos because it distracts and tricks you into thinking that this is hard work?*

*don't get me wrong, of course if you used to be a person who scrolled a bunch of nonsense, the first step would of course be to change what you consume into something better. but there comes a limit where you have to actually get up and put in the work. simply changing what you consume isn't all you need to do. theres more steps to improving your life. just like when you start with a new skill; in the beginning you may start with something very simple and easy for you to do. but once that becomes your "comfort zone" (as in very/ much easy to do), you need to move to something that challenges you more. otherwise, you never grow.

sure, believing that you are capable of doing it is certainly the first step of almost anything, but believing isn't just enough. you gotta actually do it. you don't earn my respect by "believing you can do it" (what are you, a toddler?) but by actually executing your plan. and for most of us, it turns out that our definition of "hard work" is actually just watching "self improvement" all day.

so what am i implying here? :

if you believe you can actually do the hard work, then do it. do not waste another second on self improvement videos (remember; those are just meant as a guide, a starter. a place for advice). if however, you find that you finally realise that hard work isnt just watching self improvement videos and having to actually do something, then shut up with the hard work. at least do work.

xoxo, vanilla.

[cursedzucchini]

You know what? Fuck it

DC x DP prompt #3

I think at least lmao.

Anyway! Jason starts making videos on YouTube for one reason or another (is really stressed, no one listens to his rants Abt books who cares). His content is mostly bad books he read or really really really long rants Abt pride and prejudice. Like 3 hours on one tiny detail he noticed on his 214th read through.

He's kinda popular, mostly bc his terrible books videos. He talks Abt the ones that made him the most mad, which coincidentally are mostly romance and supernatural. Like he's one of the well known figures in the supernatural romance critique group (whcih is pretty small, but well). (Also he doesn't show his face on camera, bc secret identity and stuff, it's just his voice over a video of something mundane, like the sky or a room in which is a fly or something)

And now this can go two ways, that i can think of (w dead on main in mind at least)

1) one day Jason finds a book which is supernatural romance and is actually good. It has a kidna cliche system for the supernatural stuff, but with a refreshing twist. The characters have depts and flaws, yet are still very likable. The plot is actually interesting and overall the story's theme is death, not belonging anywhere and overall stuff that is very close to Jason's heart. The story doesn't shy away from violence and it is suprisingly accurate.

(I'm.gonna reblog this w pretty long idea of what this book could be Abt, bc i don't wanna annoy ppl lol)

Anyway Jason kinda falls in love w it, and it becomes famous for being the first novel Jason rated positively or something.

Meanwhile Danny, who was told by jazz writing is good way to get his feeling out, and just wanted to make a quick buck, is really fucking confused how tf did his book become so popular and who tf is this nerd who rates books for a living.

(basically big fan Jason and suspicious/awkward Danny lmao)

2) there is a famous series on Jason profile. It's the worst fucking series he ever read and it's just fucking awful. All the characters are fucking terrible, always going on and on about one thing, the romance sucks in a way that isnt even funny. Jason would love to believe some wrote this as a joke, if it wasn't for the absolute cringefest this was, and it wasn't a whole ass series!! Like who writes 12 books for a joke?

Danny ducking Fenton that's who. Dude was so ducking annoyed at his rogues, he threatened them w writing a terrible romance novels abt them. The ghosts, knowing his terrible grade in literature backed off for a moment, before someone crossed the line. And write Danny did. It was the worst thing he had ever written, the love interest was perfect caricature yet still faithfully go the original. And Danny, because fuck them he lost sommuch sleep over that one prank, decided to publish it. (The book was pretty thin so it didn't take that much time writing it). Unfortunately it became immensely popular in the infinite realm. So the ghosts started crossing lines on purpose. Before Danny figured it out, he had already published his fifth book and was writing another three. After some bargaining, getting a book written Abt them as a piece of shit love interest became a reward.

And while yeah, he had to say his writing was terrible and the books sucked, some small part of him was kinda proud y'know? Like a mother of her twelve ugly as fuck toddlers.

So when he saw some nerd on the internet not only shit talk his book, but also get money of it?

Danny decided to haunt him (just like his books did him, now that everyone knew Abt them thanks to this guy)

(enemies (sorta it's not that serious tho) to lovers ala terrible writer Danny who hates his books and kinda famous YouTuber hasn't who also hates Danny's books)

--

Fuck this is way too long wtf. Anyway imma reblog this w 1) book idea. Might add whatever i think the twelve books could be Abt. Pls if u want to add anything to this pls do!!

[ididit-allofit-foryou]

supernatural post simulator part 2

(part 1)

______

✍️ farethewell2-deactivated20201119

Please click this link to check out my full oc list (complete with art!!) 😇🙏

🚗 impala67 Follow

do NOT CLICK THE LINK!!! it immediatly installs malware AND at LEAST 27 viruses AND makes a video of op playing guitar (really shittily, might i add) start playing on loop aND YOU CAN'T. STOP. IT.

💻 lawboy Follow

Dean. 🤦‍♂️ How many times are you going to fall for this. I’ll be home in 20, do NOT touch your computer until I get there.

#pray for me 😑 #also chuck for the last time it’s THEE #fare THEE well #and you call yourself a writer 🙄

(15 notes)

🐝 chassiscrack Follow

Saw a cat 🐈‍⬛ today. Effervescent. 🥰☺️🤩🥳

🚗 impala67 Follow

cas…u havent left the bunker 2day. where did u see a cat.

🐝 chassiscrack Follow

…Dean, you know I love you, right? 🥺🥺🥺

🚗 impala67 Follow

cas. im allergic.

🐝 chassiscrack Follow

I can heal your allergies 🥺🥺🥺

🚗 impala67 Follow

……………fine.

🐝 chassiscrack Follow

🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

#girlboss

(7 notes)

🚗 impala67 Follow

if u think swayze DOESNT get a pass unfollow me.

🔸idiaoify08132016-deactivated20201119

dis u ?

🚗 impala67 Follow

WHERE DID YOU FUXKING GET THAT????

🚗 impala67 Follow

WHO ARE YOU

🚗 impala67 Follow

@.lawboy @.queen-of-moons HELP

🌕 queen-of-moons Follow

LMAOOOOOOO

🚗 impala67 Follow

THIS ISNT FUNNY CHSRLIE

🏍️ bik3rbarbi3 Follow

I BEG TO DIFFER FNDJFKNF YOU WERE A FUCKING TWINK????????? HAHAHAHA

@.dreamscape @.ap-hansolo @.ilikenougat

get a load of this guy lollllllll

🚗 impala67 Follow

claire i WILL ground u!!!

🏍️ bik3rbarbi3 Follow

sure old man

🚗 impala67 Follow

@.lawboy SAM GET THIS TAKEN DOWN NOW

💻 lawboy Follow

🙄 omw

#it’s like having a toddler for a brother sometimes. #MAYBE if u didn’t click EVERY. FUCKING. LINK.

(69 notes)

🔪 knife-lesbian-freak Follow

if i started a patreon to educate about knife handling, types, care, etc would anyone be interested?

#ya girl needs to get OUT of her mom’s house #”not under MY roof” ok then! bet. #IM LITERALLY AN ADULT. #i can even do knife throwing courses if theres enough interest!!

(87 notes)

💻 lawboy Follow

Hey all! Does anyone else wake up with their scalp a bit sore? It’s not every night, and it’s not in the same place every time. I’ve ruled out lice and even changed my shampoo three times. @.luckofthe-eirish isn’t having this problem so I’m not sure if I should see a doctor…any advice?

#advice wanted #hair care #laptoppin it up #<- my new tag for original posts

(14 notes)

😈 not-thedevilthatuknow Follow

Top Ten Ways To Show Your Car You Love It (Number 7 Will Surprise You!)

🚗 impala67 Follow

CROWLEY U SONOFABITCH I WILL STAB YOU IN THE NECK U GAVE ME ANOTHER VIRUS. I KNOW IT U BC A GIF OF U POLE DANCING CAME ON SCREEN WHEN I CLICKED.

🍀 luckofthe-eirish Follow

dean. 👏STOP👏CLICKING👏ON👏SKETCHY👏LINKS👏

#you’re giving your brother gray hairs #i have to pluck them when he’s asleep so he doesn’t freak out #maybe you should invest in an internet safety course

(2 notes)

🥸 totally-not-6669-burner Follow

lmao guys he keeps falling for it 🤣 trolled TWICE in ONE DAY from TWO ACCOUNTS in TWO WAYS

#what should i try next 😈

(501 notes)

👼 ilikenougat Follow

👋 :)

(100,997,236 notes)

[volturissideslut]

So I L O V E your works and I cam across the "Isabella nothing here yet" issue, let's change that👹

So Isabella with a gn! cullen! Reader and Bella just straight up walks into the reader after following Eddie after their first class together because Eddie whispered something like get her away from me and reader being the amazing sibling follows after some sass, honestly I do whatever my brother asks me after saying yes your highness but that's not the point, so reader talks to Bella for a second and Bella just being immediately fascinated by them because of their gift, just like Bella not being shielded from Alice's and Jaspers gift they can capture everyone's interest and make them do almost everything they want them to, if their "prey" isnt physically abke to they won't even with their gift and so Bella just follows reader all day and they spwnd tike together because reader wants to know whats so special about the new girl

It's long but I thought about this way too long so here my brain vomit😵‍💫👹

𝕭𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖆 𝕾𝖜𝖆𝖓

"Hey bellsie baby" you say, not even looking up from your current task of doodling in your notebook when the girl comes and sits with you. "How was bio with Edward? Do i need to tell him to knock it off again?"

Bella's hand runs through her hair as she gives a short laugh, plopping down into the seat next to you. "No, he's all good. What are you working on?" Her face hovers over your notebook, maths equations abandoned and a new outline of a poorly drawn dog (or dragon maybe? she really could't tell) rests just two lines under. The typical stutter and anxiousness of Bella is somehow forgotten at the door when she's with you, conversation feeling as if you two had known each other for years and bared your very souls to each other despite the reality of having only met just a few days ago.

"Well you just let me know if he's acting up again. As his sister it is my duty and right to tell him to piss off" a grin plasters itself onto your face. The over the top, and unnecessarily big, pink pom pom attached to the tip of your pencil taps against your chin in mock thought. With a few more flicks of the lead you sit back, "my masterpeice is complete"

"Right" Bella nods, chewing on the inside of her mouth in a failed attempt to hold back a smile. "And how much will you sell this one for"

"Couple hundred thousand" you nose scrunches as you shrug, and Balla laughs. Out loud. In the quiet classroom. She catches it after a few seconds though, and quiets herself down.

Who was this? Certainly not her, or maybe it was you? Somehow she didn't feel out of place like a seven foot lanky athlete having a tea party with a toddler.

"I'm sure the crowds will flock for your donkey-monkey-mountain(??) picture" Conversing with you was easy, she could even make you laugh. Just as you were right now.

"Maybe I should give it to you instead, are we still on for me coming over later?"

"Oh absolutely, my dad Charlie keeps asking if you want to come to the diner with us. I think he's a little excited i finally have a friend" she chuckles to herself.

Halfway through her sentence you notice your brother Edward coming in, eyes dark as if he hadn't fed in weeks despite eating that very same morning. You don't acknowledge it in front of Bella though, simply giving her a little laugh and a short "If he misses me that much then maybe we should head back now".

She smiles with a nod, offering to meet you at her truck in five, just needing to put some books in her locker or something along those lines. You just give a nod and a smile, muttering under your breath for any listening ears to control themselves and your getting her out now.

What a great sister.

[livin4woso]

Breaking the media

Chapter 7- rest day

You had woken up in your bed the next morning which isnt where you had fell asleep the alarm clock next to you read 11.30am 'shit' was all you thought 'alexia is going to kill me im so late for training' you thought almost jumping from your bed and flinging the door open to the living room of the apartment however instead of finding the emptiness off the kitchen there was alexia mapi and ingrid. You stood almost clueless as the older girls turned to look at you "morning" mapi says first swivelling on her chair to face you "what the.. nah am i lost or something i thought we had training" you said staring almost having to think to blink " no we dont its a rest day" ingrid replied while the spanish girls look at eachother trying to decifer what you said. "What am i speaking a foreign language" you ask "yes y/n you are and i thought lucys accent was bad but you're on another level" mapi remarked " i agree with her Pequeña" alexia said greeting you with a warm smile.

You wandered to sit in the spare chair at the table as alexia served you breakfast it was like a little family you could never understand why alexia was so kind to you, the way she treated you it was like no one else had ever done before it was comforting. "I was thinking about going into town today" you said biting into a piece of toast. "You sure you want too?" Alexia ask concern filled her thoughts after yesterday. "Yeah i do you can come with me and be my tour guide" you said digging your elbow into her side "okay okay sure but no messing around otherwise im not buying you anything" she said back with her arms folded as if she was talking to a toddler.

You ran upstairs to get changed and make sure to have your phone with you as you shoved it into your jean pocket. "Okay im ready to go" you said bouncing on your heels "right let me get my shoes on but we have guests you know" alexia said pointing at mapi and ingrid "oh yeah do you wanna come then?" You asked hopeful they might come "we would love too but unfortunately we're going to a restaurant out of town so we need to go and get ready" mapi said almost sad that she couldn't hang out with you "no no its okay" you said smiling back at her.

You watched as the couple left the apartment and alexia followed car keys in hand to give you the best guided tour of Barcelona that anyone could ever give you. Your day was amazing you travelled to every single tiny art piece to the big monuments wandering through shops and stopping to try food. The day was amazing even though you did get made to go on photo duty as about 20 people recognised the la renia in her own kingdom but you didn't mind because truthfully you would have been the same a couple weeks ago.

The sun was coming to an end the skys turned from azule blue to a mix of dusty oranges and pinks that were littered with clouds as you made your way back to alexias car "thank you so much I've had such a good day even being your photographer" you said joking on the last part of your sentence "ohh shut up i might have to hire you if you're that good at taking photos then" she joked back "eyy i never that mate i only said i would for today" you said back "y/nnn stop with the English words you know i dont understand them" she said deadpanning her face "sorryyy they just slip out" you said pouting at her. The way home was peaceful you chatted all the way too the apartment and you talked right until you had to sleep as training had restarted and so did the games which you had hoped to start in.

[ppnuggiex]

hii <3 if possible, I would like headcanons about how they would be for vil , riddle and azul,being parents ^^ but their son came out as a rambunctious and very naughty hehe (as a plus, his mc also used to be like that so anyway his son reminds them of how his wife was when they met her, like mother like son xd) that would be all , tkmm have a nice day :))

　　　　　　TWST x fem reader

　　　　『　azul ,, riddle ,, vil ,, female reader    』

　　-> twst as parents w/ rambunctious child that acted like their mother

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack

　　— tysm for requesting !! hope you enjoy it 🫶 there is a reference to one of kevin hart’s stand up comedies in here ,, but i explained it at the end :) so even if you dont watch stand up or his ,, youll know what i mean !

- riddle

| • he'd have a hard time dealing with a rambunctious son . he's used to following the rules ,, and he has let off that a lot since getting together with you .

| • he'll be known more as the less fun parent ,, while you take that role . he'd be the one to make him wear a raincoat to go outside in the rain whilst you'd encourage him playing in the rain and puddles without one .

| • though he'd smile fondly at him ,, seeing as he definitely gets it from you . he would sometimes share stories about your past and how you acted at nrc .

| • it doesnt stop him from parenting his child the way he wants to in a way . he does take a firmer hand with it ,, but with your help he does it in a way thats not too harsh .

| • he still loves his kid though . sometimes he’ll let him get away with things ,, especially if hes just woken up .

- vil

| • he finds it infuriating some days ,, and funny the others . on the days he finds it infuriating ,, he usually lets you deal with him as he doesnt want to say something that’ll end up hurting his kid . other days ,, he’ll just laugh under his breathe before trying to point his kid in the right direction .

| • he definitely comments on how hes just like how you were though . then he goes down the memory lane ,, remembering everything you two did together at nrc . his heart warms at the memories ,, seeing you in your kid .

| • he isnt as strict as riddle ,, as he wants his child to be able to live his life without vil controlling it for him . you also play a factor into that ,, telling vil to let your son decide for himself how he wishes to live .

| • though sometimes vil cant help himself and fix his son’s clothes if theyre messed up ,, or poking and prodding at his hair to make it look nicer .

- azul

| • lord save his soul . having a rambunctious son is quite the handful for mr . ashengrotto ,, especially with how much he does have on his hands . juggling between running a restaurant chain and spending time with his family ,, he is quite the busy man .

| • usually when he comes home hes quite exhausted ,, ready to relax for a moment’s time before having to look through paperwork .

| • and then you have a rambunctious son to deal with . he’ll be honest ,, he almost pulled a kevin hart move (if ykyk 💀💀 ill explain later) and went right back to his work .

| • on his days off he enjoys spending time with his son ,, he doesnt have a problem but sometimes he can be a little too rowdy and then you’ll have to come in and help wrangle the both of them . honestly you should make azul pay you to do alla this /j .

| • azul loves his son though . and if he happens to inherit his mer traits ,, he’ll struggle even more to try to parent him underwater .

* in one of kevin hart’s stand up comedies ,, he says how after coming home to a day of hard work and men have toddlers waiting for them at home ,, they’ll see them when they pull in the drive way and pull right back out and drive away .

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

DUDE I HAD NO IDEA YOU DIDNT DO NSFW AAA IM SURE I READ THROUGH THE RULES IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY IM SO SORRYYY!

Anyhow to replace that older request, what about this.

Masky x daughter!reader (COMPLETELY PLATONIC AND ONLY FAMILY LOVING), what would be the aftermath of masky finding out Toby is dating reader? -🃏

Its ok everyone makes mistakes!!

BUT OMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOOOOVE THIS CONCEPT

Masky is such dad material <333

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masky with a daughter!reader dating Toby

Tim was hired by slender sometime in his late twenties to early thirties

Meaning you were just a little toddler at the time

Toby was hired at the age of 19, making you both legal adults by the time toby joined

Tim is always so proud of you, watching you grow up, learn to defend yourself, become an amazing person

Toby is...kind of the opposite

Dont get him wrong, Toby's a nice kid and all, he's just...loud...and annoying...and clingy

So when he bumps into you two in the hallway, your fingers interlocked and the two of you sharing a sweet kiss, Tim AUDIBLY sighs

This makes both you and toby look at him, toby jumps and looks ashamed, while you smile and hop over to your dad

"Dad!" You say, getting ready to explain everything

"Save it." He says "i really don't care who you date but....did it have to be him??"

You make a face "whats wrong with toby?"

"Nothing, nothing. Im just saying...you dont think you couldve gone after someone like E.J or Liu? Someone with ambition? Someone who isnt as smelly?"

You cross your arms and pout "toby is not smelly!"

Tim raises a brow before shaking his head and walking away

A few days after, Toby and Tim are sent out on a mission together

While getting geared up, toby speaks "um...sorry if im not who you wanted your daughter to date" he says, his speech being interrupted numerous times by whistles and grunts, as well as flicking his wrist, showing exactly how nervous he is

Tim, of course, notices this and sighs "it's not a huge deal, i was mostly teasing." He looks over to toby who seems to have calmed down a little

"That being said, if you ever hurt my little girl i will beat you within an inch of your life...only reason i wouldn't finish the job is because i dont wanna lose everything i worked for"

Toby gives a nervous smile "uh, wasn't planning on it"

"Good. You have nothing to worry about then" tim states simply, before walking off and getting into his truck

All in all, tim really doesnt care who you date, as long as theyre not huring you, and you arent hurting them, he doesnt care

He will absolutely tease you about it, but other than that there isnt really any interaction from him

[lime1991]

hold on i have to recraft my trolls age hc... i just learned there was a brozone website and on said site we have:

January 2nd 1999 is, maybe, Branch's birthday? And instead of being like "awesome im a big brother" Floyd just goes "thank god im not the baby anymore" after hes born.

Baby Branch's oldest message is this:

February 26th 1999. He's over a month old at this point, but the phrasing of "tonight's show" leads me to believe he was part of the band from literal birth (also why Floyd's first reaction to his birth is "thank you for saving me") and therefore this isnt his first show.

The last logins for all of the brothers is March 11th 1999

And just a day before, according to John Dory, new merch dropped

Soooo i think its safe to say around March 11th 1999 is when the band broke up after their ruined performance, which makes sense that it was also the last time any of them logged into the website. (though i think it would be sad and sweet if it showed branch had logged into it sometime recently but whatever)

So that brings me back around to the age thing.

The trollspedia page states Poppy is around 21-23, and I agree and am more inclined towards 22-23 personally. Seeing as Branch was born in January 1999, he'd be 24 in 2023. But the only thing that confuses me a little is Branch saying its been 20 years since the band broke up:

For 1999 to be 20 years ago, that would mean the movie takes place in 2019. And... honestly that's not too far off from 2023 so i don't mind that being the case, its always vague about what year its meant to be, a lot of animated movies are like this. Also i wanna bring up that the song Bridget and Poppy sing in the beginning (Good As Hell by Lizzo) came out in 2019, SO... its not impossible that the movie is meant to take place in 2019.

SO... with this all in mind... my new theory/headcanon:

As of 2019...

John Dory - 39 Bruce - 38 Clay - 33 Floyd - 28 Branch - 20

And as of 1999...

John Dory - 19 Spruce - 18 Clay - 13 Floyd - 8 Branch - 2 months

ALSO lets not forget the fact that troll age stages are different from humans', a 2 month old is singing and dancing in a boyband. They tend to mature past their actual age really quickly.

(i know these are country trolls, but the idea is still there. as soon as they pop out the egg, trolls are basically toddlers)

And I've tried to keep my theory compliant with what the wikia says (like how Clay's 1999 self is referred to as a teenager, therefore i made him 13) because i believe theyre mostly right. however. i also believe the movie takes place in 2019, not 2023. even if that wasnt the intention of dreamworks, they wrote in the script that its been 20 years since 1999... that can literally only be 2019 lol.

But if we want to imagine it takes place in 2023, heres age hcs for that too:

John Dory - 43 Bruce - 42 Clay - 37 Floyd - 32 Branch - 24

Btw this means, in my hc, Poppy is 19 in 2019 and 23 in 2023, as is implied in the wiki. Which makes sense to me, because Branch is obviously older than her by at least a year. With my hc that Bruce and JD are only a year apart (again, in compliance with the wikia that claims JD was a teenager in 1999 and therefore not 20 like i want him to be. and making the "heart throb" not a minor bc thats weird to me) the moment where Poppy calls JD the "old one" but later fawns over Bruce is made extra funny when the two of them are so close in age.

But i want to say for the millionth time so nobody gets confused bc of all these numbers: I THINK BAND TOGETHER TAKES PLACE IN 2019!!! not 2023. And don't even ask about how the first movie truly fits into this, I DONT KNOW, they definitely did not fully think through a trilogy in 2016. Some things are just a product of when they came out and thats ok.