#ism the flash

[voidwritesstuff]

Long way to the truth

Cw: ptsd nightmares,paranoia,Lucas having a small breakdown bcs he gets stuck in a motel bcs of the rain.

->Chapter 2: Alabama/Missisipi

Next morning he found himself with all his possesions and his van intact. Lucas sits up and stretches out, letting out a strained grunt as his muscles get pulled.

This was going to fuck with his back later, he just knows it. 

Passing his hands across his face, he gets ready for the Next leg of the journey. Lucas sits on the drivers Seat with the keys in the ignition, a yawn escapes him and he considers just for a moment to go back to bed,his face rests on the steering wheel.

And then his eyes look at the sun visor and he remembers the picture there. He sighs and reincorporates himself, theres only one way to fully wake himself up.

He knows hes going to hate himself for It.

If Wheeler did this to him once,he can survive it.

So what does he do? He takes off his tank top and opens the drivers door,stepping into the cold breeze of the winter

Lucas goes stiff as a board,goosebumps all over his skin. He starts cussing himself and wheeler out as he stretches out his legs and torso while the cold air bites at his skin.

Yep, he was fully awake now.

As soon as hes done limbering up, he hops right back into the van, puts on his tanktop and snatches one of his hoodies as he turns on the van and then the AC

--God FUCKING damnit Alphonso and the whole fucking platoon-- he grumbled-- stupid FUCKING idea. --He drives along the highway while cussing out the cold and anything related to it.

He still remembers the first time he had suffered the same way he did just now, during the war, he wanted to overlseep for just one day, and what did Alphonso do? He snatched him out of bed with the help of a few buddies and threw Lucas into the cold morning air without his shirt on.

Lucas Will never live down the absolute girlish scream that left him,he soon warmed up whilist chasing Alphonso around to get back his shirt.

Its a fond memory that makes him smile,but also curse that day when it happened. Worst experience of his LIFE.

Eventually, he does find his way to a local dinner where he orders some breakfast and sits there in a booth to Mark out the rest of his route in his map.

But his attention does get pulled away as a family passes by him. He looks at the parents play with their child, he sighs a little sad.

He always wanted to settle down,to at least marry someone he loves and have a calm life. If he ever were to have kids,he'd Like to be just as fatherly as Alphonso was towards him (Which was a lot). Given the twists and turns of his life, he hasnt gotten the chance yet- if he ever does get it.

A part of him doesnt like this whole crusade hes doing,he would very much be in his family's house near the lake, making merry with his family and what little Friends he has.

Yet it wouldnt sit right with him if he let all of this pass, he wouldnt do Wheeler like that. He wont forget and he Will see it through.

Lucas just wished that the road wasnt so lonely.

His food arrives not shortly after hes ordered it, he thanks the waiter and keeps marking out his route. The waiter sees him and adds-- oh by the way,theyll be doing some maintenance to the bridge on that road you wanna go thru, youll have to take a detour here-- he points at the map.

--Oh, wasnt aware- thanks

The waiter nodded and shortly after he Walked away. Small gestures like that really did stick with him, he wasnt very used to those kinds of things.

Post breakfast, he return to his van and resumed his drive. Now in early morning,the houses were bathed in golden light as the sun slowly pushed its way upwards,a few clouds litter the Sky and the birds begin their morning choir.

Lucas feels a lot better now that he had breakfast, a lot less zombie and more like a person. Mindlessly,he fiddles with the radio trying to find a good station to listen to, he was one of those guys who went about his life listening to music.

"Tommy used to work on the docks, union's been on strike

He's down on his luck, it's tough, so tough

Gina works the diner all day, working for her man

She brings home her pay, for love, mmm, for love"

He smiles at the song,oh he loves this one.

As sappy as it was, the message of the song was something that he could relate to. What he was doing could count as a labor of love, of dedication.

If he was being honest,there were days where he couldnt even get out of bed or live with himself. There were days where he wouldve loved to stay in bed all day and slowly rot away, but he knew that he had to Keep going, not so much for a chance at vindication but more like living for his best friend and mentor.

"She says, "We've gotta hold on to what we've got

It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not

We've got each other and that's a lot for love

We'll give it a shot"

Whoa, we're half way there

Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer

Take my hand, we'll make it, I swear

Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer"

He had to hold on to what little he got,Wether that was this mission or his loved ones back in Florida. He had to Keep going for Wheeler and all of those who lost their lives at the hands of the goverment.

Midway through his drive through Alabama,he notices a Man parked to the side of the road, fiddling with his car's engine.

Lucas takes a moment to consider his options,a sigh escapes past his lips as he also notices little kid inside the car.

His paranoia would advice him to not stop and Keep driving,but his Morals tells him otherwise. With a begrudging sigh, he pulls to the side of the road and hops off, he walks up to the guy, tan skin and black hair.

--need help with that,Man?-- he asked, getting the Mans attention.

--Yes,please-- the Man replied,looking at the engine. -- it started making some god awful noises, and it smelled foul in the car. -- he anxiously checks his watch-- 'm late for my kids school already

The Man before him spoke with a hispanic accent, it reminds Lucas of Alphonso's latin roots. Now hes even more compelled to help the guy, he nodds and checks for the damage around the car.

He cant help but notice the foul smell of oil,he checks the lights on the dashboard And he clicks his tongue-- ah heres the issue, you need your oil changed, that explains the noise and the smell

--chinga' madre-- the Man muttered,passing his hands across his face-- I was supposed to get it changed today, just after I dropped my kid to school

Lucas quickly darts his gaze to the kid in the backseat, just looking at the  Sky though the Window. Then he walks back to the Man and says-- I have a bit of spare oil in my van,'m on uh a r-roadtrip, I can change it for you, im a huge handy man 

--Please, thank you-- he replied.

--papa! Preguntale si puede arreglarnos la radio!--Said the kid from the back Seat (dad! Ask him if he can fix our radio).

--Thats uh- my kid. Shes been begging me to get the radio fixed, I havent had the time for it

Lucas chuckles, he knew basic spanish thanks to Alphonso, so he got the gist of it-- youre in luck then- I am- I was a radioman during the Vietnam war, I know my way 'round a stereo

--you dont have to- its gonna take some work and I dont want to waste more of your time

--s'no Biggie,I promise-- he replied-- just lemme get my tools out

After changing the oil and making sure the car worked, Lucas sits on the passenger Seat Next to the Man as he fixes up the car's radio. It was a wiring issue that he had encountered before,peeled wires that touched but didnt really send any power to the radio.

--The systems pretty old,no wonder the wires got worn down-- Lucas commented as he finished up his work and slid the radio back into place. Then he gestures at the radio-- well,what does the little Lady wanna listen to?

The kid lunges forward between the two seats,scaring the hell out of both men. She turns on the radio and takes a second to find her favorite station,and to his surprise its the same station he listens to.

"Tommy's got his six string in hock, now he's holding in

When he used to make it talk so tough, ooh, it's tough

Gina dreams of running away

When she cries in the night, Tommy whispers

"Baby, it's okay, someday"

We've gotta hold on to what we've got

It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not

We've got each other and that's a lot for love

We'll give it a shot"

--Shes a metalhead Like her mamma-- the dad explains,a little embarassed.

--She has good taste, I listen to this station too-- Lucas answers with a smirk-- raisin' them right

--gracias señor!--Says the child, giving Lucas a big hug,he pats her arm with a smile.

--No hay de que, tengan un buen día los dos-- he sounds sooo gringo while he talks but the kids smile is so bright he can forget his embarassment.

he kid pulls away and the hispanic Man says-- im Dante,by the Way. This is my kid Sofía- youve got some decent spanish

--Decent is a bit of an overstatement-- the ex soldier replied, a little meek-- im uh- Lucas

--Who taught you that?

--My captain- He grew up in a hispanic household, he gave me an earful every time I got a words wrong so- I had to learn the hard way

Dante laughed and nodded in agreement-- poor bastard,wheres your captain now? --Lucas keeps quiet and the other Man nodds and adds-- sorry

--s'alright been 30 somethin years-- he replied, a Sting in his chest.

--Still,thank you for everything-- the hispanic Man added,offering his hand. Lucas takes it and both shake hands.-- takes a lotta strength to be kind to a world that has caused you so much pain

--Dont mention it, ill get outta your hair now-- Lucas smiles awkwardly and lets go of the hand-- and uh- thanks.

Walking back into his van,he happily waves the family goodbye as they drive off.

A heavy feeling sits in his chest, so far hes told two people that hes been dealing with his pain for thirty years,that its nothing to him at this Point.

He was lying, there wasnt a DAY where his guilt and shame didnt eat him from the inside, there wasnt a day where grief tried to sink him into a pit of Despair.

Was he saying that to people for their own well being or his? Was that his way of telling himself that he should move on already?.

Lucas takes a quick look at his watch,if he wants to make it to Mississippi by tomorrow,he better hurry up.

To Keep himself sane, he keeps in minds Dante's words and ups the volume of the radio. He takes a deep breath and turns on the van,pulling It back into the road.

"Whoa, we're half way there

Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer

Take my hand, we'll make it I swear

Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer

Livin' on a prayer

Oh, we've gotta hold on, ready or not

You live for the fight when that's all that you've got

Whoa, we're half way there

Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer

Take my hand and we'll make it, I swear

Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer"

Soon he finds himself jamming out to the song,singing along and smiling just a little bit. There was something about him helping strangers even if his paranoia told him otherwise,he always felt compelled to do the right thing,even if he didnt have the energy for it.

Lucas was a good Man,sadly he couldnt see it himself.

He doesnt get to Mississippi that day,it kind of annoys Him a little. But he knows that if he wasnt for him,Dante would still be stuck in the side of the road.

Its not that he regrets it, its that he wishes he could stay on track. Just like he did in the army,the guilt of each passing Day without answers is getting heavier, he wishes he could just *do it* Like he did in the army.

But then again,plenty of things have changed since his army days,hasnt it?

Yet he couldnt extend that same mercy to himself, he didnt feel worthy of it. After killing his best friend and mentor, how could he be nice to himself when he caused the pain he feels?.

A sudden noise of static makes him snap out of his thoughts,his eyes dart to the radio equipment behind him, its crammed but he managed to squeeze through.

Expert hands finetune the signal's frequency to match the incoming broadcast. He zeros in flipping switches and turning the handles, its garbled and his foot kicks the spare car battery that the equipment is hooked on -- cmon y'son of a bitch

he only has a bit of his equipment hooked to the car battery, hes sure that if he had his whole set up working, this would be easier. And hes not about to go out and mess with one of the Many antennas hes got within that van, its the middle of the night and he doesnt want to look weird in case somebody shows up, less witnesses (And less embarassment experienced).

《Recent discoveries...-- codename Rainbow- collective unconcious》

--c'mon c'mon c'mon...--He mutters, the transmission still garbled. Lucas sighs and curses under his breath, eyes setting on the nearest radio antenna and snatching It.

He opens the back door of the van and with the help of a stepladder he climbs up the van and sets the antenna on the roof of the vehicle.

When he returns back to the van, the signal stabalizes a little but its quiet. The way he works the radio equipment is truly a sight to see, tired eyes set on the visualizer of the radio wave and pray he hears something.

A few minutes go by as he sits there in wait, yawning and eyes Teary as the wear and tear of the trip slowly takes A hold of him. His head ends up being held up by his hand,with closed eyes and on the brink of falling asleep he finally hears.

《MILTON-HAVEN》

--JESUS CHRIST--It startled him, sending Him back flying and falling onto the Many bags and boxes behind him. The impact hurts his back and he groans-- motherfucker...-- he rolls onto his side before the transmission goes out.

But its a start, its a clue.

He had place the origin of the broadcast somewhere around Washington. "Milton-haven" must be a city or a town there.

A little in pain,but happy,he sits up and puts down the antenna,tucking it back where it was and closing the door. Just in case and asleep as he was, he does stay awake just a little more to make sure nobody saw him.

Lucas sits in the dark, rifle by his side, eyes falling closed and back aching. But its a necessary measure, paranoid? Probably. Hes seen things,hes heard things he isnt supposed to, he knows that. They know that,and hes not taking any chances.

Thankfully,sleep does find him, he lays down in that sleep bag and underneath the starlit Sky,silent, he gives into exhaustion (and hopes that fall doesnt fuck him over in the morning)

Mud sticks to soles of his boots,heavy with each step. Above him the Sky is red and each bullet looks like its made of Fire, theres static in the air and the humidity in the air smells foul.

Hes got to find him hes got to-

--CAPTAIN!--he Shouts over the storm of bullets over his head, repting on the ground with short ragged breaths, they mix with whatever is in the air, with each inhale this weird awful taste of mercury And chemicals set in his tongue.

"Where the hell is he?!" Lucas thinks,reaching the base of a tree

And then a scream rings in the air, a cacophony of them. He turns to see blood mix with the Mud,theres something moving underneath the earth and its disturbing to see.

His eyes dart all around the place,wherever he set his eyes on,his Friends and anyone he knows are being torn to shreds. Clothes,flesh and even bone fell to the ground and sank in the Mud, and that when his own mortality hits him like a punch in the gut.

He was barely 18,just a child in the grand Scheme of things. He finished highschool last year

Last year he was laughing and Rolling around in the dirt with his Friends.

wasnt it just yesterday when he participated in the robotics club?  When he won his first engieneering competition?

Wasnt he just thirteen a few hours ago he was all excited for highschool?

Its like he was ten just minutes ago,coming home from school and hugging his big dog and telling good ol Rose about his day in school.

Hell...,wasnt he three years old seconds ago as he held on to his dads hand as he Walked his first steps?

Jesus christ,he was just a kid,what was he doing here?!

Lucas has tears running down his eyes,they feel heavy and mercury like as they drench his skin and gear. His heart feels like its going to explode,he cant tell if the drumming in his ears were bombs or the his pulse.

His nails splinter and break as he climbs up a tree, hooking his foot on a hollow in the bark for leverage,but as he reaches the tree he rolls his ankle pretty bad. The warmth of the pain and blood rushing mixes with the shaking of his hands,his knees feel weak but his muscles are tense as shit.

Back pressed against the sturdy bark of the tree. He curls into himself, not even noticing the Weight of the rifle as it swings to his side,it doesnt fall just because he has It slung over his shoulder.

With his knees against his chest, his hands go to cover his ears to drown out the piercing,blood curling,pained screams of his Friends. Where the hell was Alphonso?!

The musky,metallic Air of blood and chemicals stick to his skin, the heat is unbearing even if his blood is running cold.

Everything is so hazy, Like a dream,Like static in the radio frequency,he cant think,he cant move. A scream of madness escapes him --MAKE IT STOP!--he curls further into himself, he just wants his home,his silence, his peace.

And then....hes Back home?

Standing over the lake, hes got his hunting rifle in hand,he swears he can hear his dog barking in the distance. Above him the Sky is clear and nice with starts that shine a faint electric blue,his ears feel like theyre filled with static.

--Rose? Where are you girl?-- he shouts,looking around-- C'mon girl!

No reply.

He sighs and passes his hands across his face, but the water ripples And he gets distracted from thinking what he was doing here. It was like a dream,Like he had an objective but he didnt know what.

In the lake,a few more ripples shake the water, his eyes blink a few times to concentrate on the image.

And what he sees horrified him to the Core,his heart feels like plummeting anf his chest feels fluttery with fear.

Giant, its a Giant with messy,ghillie suit like strands,theres an antenna sending signals which seems to be the cause of the rippling water. When his eyes fully focus on it, the spotlight in the things head shines brightly it stings his eyes and he almost pulls back.

But the damn thing seems to be pointing at him. So,"when in doubt shoot it down" Someone had told him once, who told him that? Something...wheeler was it?

The bullets Fire from the gun in a defeaning cacophony of piercing noise,in that moment his eyes flutter Open and hes back to the hellscape Battlefield.

Yet theres nothing more horrifying than the sight before him.

Alphonso looks back at him with wide eyes,his hands were on lucas' shoulders but they slowly go slack, whatever final words he mightve said get lost in the hellish choir of the Battlefield.

--no no no no- no no!--Lucas cries, trying to hold on to his mentor,his buddy,his best friend, as he slides down the branch.

Both fall to the Mud with a sloppy,morbid thud. Wheeler's eyes are still wide but his pupils are contracted,barely two dots in his eyes.

Lucas had Fallen on his side,it was a miracle that his ribs havent cracked as he landed on his rifle. If he did  hes not feeling It.

He gets on his knees and tries to shake wheeler awake,crying,screaming Like a scared kid, the sweat on his skin is soaked in his Gear, he feels nauseous and hes shaking like hes on the brink of a panic attack.

"What have I done- no no no" he thinks over and over, trying to shake him awake."Dont leave me- dont leave me-dontleaveme.--

--WHEELER!-- Lucas screams as he jolts awake,tears in his eyes and heart beating so fast it might as well burst out of his chest.

He passes his hands across his face,sweaty as he is. His hair sticks to his face and his tank top feels horrible against his back.

Quickly,he disposes of his shirt and sits on his makeshift bed. --Goddamnit-- he sobbs loudly, covering his eyes and trying to Keep the tears in and failing miserably.

--Cmon co-cole- its jus-t a nightmare, pull-pull it together Man--he mutters to himself over and over, he knows what his mother would say "men dont cry" but its bullshit, its bullshit because the tears fall down his face like waterfalls.

And he gives in,he cries for what feels like hours but might not be- his perception of time is pretty fucked right now. Even as the morning light bathes him in comforting warmth,he feels weak and like he might just crumble into a puddle of tears and bones interlaced with pain and trauma.

It takes him a solid twenty minutes to recompose himself,his stomach feels tied up,he cant even drink from his water bottle, despite the fact that hes dry as a desert.

But he gets out of his bed and ties up his hair in a bun, he needs to get somewhere to showers and get breakfast, a motel maybe.

He reaches some motel he doesnt bother checking the name of, he rents a room and goes to shower.

You know those things you do that you know its weird as shit? That you just look at yourself doing it and you scold yourself for it?

Thats what Lucas feels as he sets the small air tight container on the lid of the toilet. What did the container have? A nine milimiter, of course!

If he could fit the rifle,trust me,he would.

Getting into the shower, the scolding hot water hits his skin, it relaxes his muscles, sore and tense. A deep sigh falls past his lips, he massages his neck to try and relieve the pain.

--Jesus christ,'m old-- He murmurs, leaning his head back so the water cascades down his beautiful curly black hair.

With half lidded eyes,he looks at the Many hair care products hes got for his hair. It would be some hard work to actually do his whole routine.

For a few seconds he considers Wether or not to do it. But,hes been through some shit today,so why not treat himself.

He grabs one of the smaller radios hes got and turns it on, the music flows in the air as he showers, combing the shampoo into his hair, slowly relaxing as the act of taking care of himself sets in and soothes his soul.

And he even humms along to the music,for a moment he feels back at home in Florida, still somewhat calm and at ease. The routine he usually does comes natural to him, combing the creams into his locks, he takes a few hours to finish his routine and shower.

The water falls down his chiseled jaw and neck as he throws his head back a little. A grunt comes from him as he stretches out his neck,the muscles slowly untenses giving him a bit of relief.

When he steps out of the showers,he walks to the mirror all fogged up. His hand wiped away the mist and looks at himself in the mirror.

He looks tired,he knows.

But aside from that, he looks at his form in the mirror. Beautiful tan skin littered with scars across his biceps,clavicles and torso.

For his age,he looked good, strong muscles and figure, tall and quite lanky but his stomach was toned,his legs and arms could easily pull up his weight If needed. He could notice a few grey hairs across his happy trail, but its not like he minds,he thinks it adds to his charm.

After drying off he brushes out his hair and applies some dry conditioner on it. Then,he gets changed to go and get some breakfast at a nearby dinner.

Lucas walks out of the motel with a bag,his van keys and the gun concealed (he had a permit) and asks around for a good dinner.

In the dinner he asks for his usual,coffee and Bacon.When the waitress leaves, he takes out his Journal and starts writing down his plans for today.

"To do list:

•Refill gas.

•check up on unused equipment

•security check on the motel"

His ears perk up as the dinner quiets down,he turns to the TV hangung from the ceiling. Its a weather report and its announcing strong storms throughout the whole day, he sighs loudly with a scowl on his face and leans his head on his hand.

"Just what I fuckin' needed" he thinks,looking Like the most pissed off Man to ever walk the earth.

When his food arrives he thanks the waitress and gets to eat his breakfast,eyeing the to-do list. He sighs and adds one more item 

"Get a therapist (long term?)"

Post breakfast, he pays up and goes back to the motel. He takes a few minutes to do a quick security check,after that,he goes to his room,locks up the door and the small bathroom Window and sets up his rifle so he can Keep an eye out on the van,to which he has a Straight eyeline to.

Soon,the Sky starts thundering and with it comes the heavy,pouring rain. He sighs and purses his lips, he liked the rain,he didnt like the thunder.

Lucas sits by the Window, but in a way that most of his body is hid by the wall. He keeps the rifle at hand, while his Journal is on his lap, he taps on it with his pen.

The rain Is the only thing he can hear and with each thunder that cracked in the greying Sky, he got more and more on edge. His leg bounces rapidly.

A few,agonizing moments go by before he puts the pen down and snaps the Journal closed quite loudly.

--Thats it, I cant take it anymore!-- he stands up,hands slapping on the arm rests of the chair he was sitting.

Lucas paces around,moving things around to busy himself, his breath is quite ragged and gets progressively more riled up with each thunder crack. His hands ball up in fists and relax a few times.

Its Bringing up bad memories, thunders sound and feel like bombs, and it drives Him nuts. He sighs loudly, passing his hands across his face.

Then he remembers something Wheeler used to say,quite a lot.

--bad thoughts give me bad dreams,bad dreams and my bad dreams make me get up to walk, bad thoughts give me bad dreams and my bad dreams make me sleep walk-- he mutters,over and over again while rummaging around one of his bags, there was a radio somewhere he could listen to.

What snaps him out of that little stressfull chance is,oddly enough, is a dumb memory of wheeler.

It was the first few days of his deployment,he remembers tossing and turning in his bed because he was still getting used to not have his dog at the foot of the bed just crushing half of his legs.

He tried laying on his side to see if the change of positions helped him finally get some shut eye.

And then he hears a creak from the bed infront of him. A little weirded out, he sits up and see the walking form of Wheeler in the darkness.

--Cap?--He calls out Gently, but wheeler doesnt reply.--cap!

Sighing,he quickly puts on his pants and chases after his captain whilist he puts his "lucky flannel" on. Alphonso is walking with nothing but his boxers on

Lucas gets infront of Wheeler,only to notice his eyes are closed and he looks somewhat in peaceful rest.

"Hes...sleep walking?" He thinks,letting the Man walk past him. For a moment he considers leading Him back to bed,but then his 18 Year old brain has an idea,which is to follow him around and see what Wheeler gets up to.

So,he follows Him around,much to the amusement of the more high ranking officials Who look at Lucas as if to say "what the fuck?" To which Lucas would shrug and Keep following him. If anyone asked,he was chasing after wheeler to Keep him safe just in case he got into danger, and totally not to get some dirt on him if he did anything stupid.

Wheeler gets to a small kitchen in camp,walking across the cold floor like nothings bothering Him. In said small kitchen he opens the fridge and says-- margareth! Wheres the Icecream?

Lucas stands there absolutely flabbergasted-- wh what?

--wheres the Icecream! Im craving a tube of  Mac n cheese!

--Where Would you even get a tube of-- he stops himself,realizing how stupid he sounds  talking to a person who is SLEEP WALKING.

Wheeler walks up to him and puts his hands on Lucas' shoulder, sounding very serious and with his eyes still closed-- margareth, this is a matter of National security,the enemy got their hands on my tube of Mac n cheese Icecream,we need to retrieve it

And at that Point he looses it, Lucas bends over with laughter,cackling Like a damn hyena,squatting to the floor because he cant stay standing up without the risk of falling.

--What in the hell are you two doing?!--One of the officials yell at both, Lucas cant stop laughing and wheeler wakes up.

Wheeler looks disoriented and confused,until he sees hes in the kitchen,with his lieutenant Rolling on the floor and his superior looking at him weird with a smirk on his face from the entrance to the room.

--Sleep walking again,wheeler? -- asks his superior.

--'pparently,Sir. Sorry

Thats when Lucas,being the little shit he is,he stands up and looks at the Man at the entrance and saying-- Sir,Sir,you dont get it. Captain wheeler here is saying somebody stole his Mac and cheese Icecream, its a matter of National security

His higher up looks at him and bursts out laughing, breaking the tension. --You had that dream again?!-- Wheeler's superior asked,leaning on the doorsill for support as he laughs.

--WAIT! YOURE TELLING ME HE HAD THIS DREAM BEFORE?!--Lucas asked,out of breath from laughing.

--YES HE DID

At that point, wheeler is thoroughly embarassed and decides to close the fridge's door and walk out of the room. What he doesnt account for is his lieutenant chasing after him,still in a fit of giggles.

--Wheeler wait! Wait up DAMNIT!--He yells,eyes teary.

--get it over with,cole-- said Alphonso,red Like a tomato.

--Look I just want to ask two questions-- he started-- do you like Mac n cheese Icecream?

--i absolutely do not!--the older Man replied-- its disgusting

--okay,do you know anyone named margareth?

His captain looks away,even more embarassed-- thats the name of my cat,I talk t'her sometimes

--Why did you name your cat margareth? Did you see her in your dream?

Wheeler returns to walking away, even more flustered than before-- THATS FOUR QUESTIONS

--WHEELER PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW!

The memory sets a feeling of fondness in Lucas' chest. He finally finds the radio and sets it on the floor beside him as he returns back to the spot he was sitting at.

Giggles escapes him as the memory replays in his head. Dumbest shit hes ever seen in his life, and one of the best memories he has from the war.

"I can hear the cannons calling

As though across a dream

And I can smell the smoke of hell

In every stitch and seam

And like flowers, the bodies tumble

Around this muddied lot

I cannot hear them scream

"Forget me not"

He looks out the Window a little,he scans his sorroundings. Nothing.

Lucas relaxes in the chair,picking up his Journal and drawing little doodles here an there as he taps his foot to the rythm of the song.

It kills Him a little,Knowing that throughout this while day hes been thinking about his best friend. How his trauma seems to be getting under his skin, all it took was one dream to shatter his process into pieces, pieces sharp like broken glass.

He misses him so much,there isnt a day where he feels like he would do anything to have him by his side. And meanwhile the Sky keeps being striked by lightning and thunder,the sheer impact shakes the glass in the Windows which doesnt help him at all

"Your voice it carries over

The hubbub and the hum

And it paints the sky and circles high

Like the beating of a drum

You will scream "I won’t forget you"

But I’ll cover my cold ears

It cannot be a lie

If no-one hears

'Cause although you say good day to me

I know I don’t belong"

His eyes look away from the Journal to the Window,he stares off remembering the aftermath of that funny little interaction with Alphonso.

--I hope I didnt wake you.-- said Alphonso as he laid back down to sleep.

--no y'didnt. I just cant sleep. I used to sleep with my dog at my feet- not feeling her ontop of my legs is messin' with me--Lucas replied,sounding a little shy about opening up. He scratches the back of his neck and clings to his lucky flannel a little closer.

--Whats on yer mind, kid?-- Alphonso asked with that "no nonsense" in his tone. Fatherly but stern.

--'m homesick okay? I miss my dog,and my Friends, and my parents-- he replied,feeling his face heat up.

Catching up on why hes acting the way he is acting,Wheeler sits up in bed and says-- theres no shame in missin' home kiddo, its jus' part of bein' human

--its not very mainly though

--Fuck being manly, if being manly means being emotionless its not worth it.-- he replied-- fuck that, its better to get it out. Trust me

Lucas nodds and he lays down in bed,sinking into the matress.-- youre really becomin' my dad huh?

--lissen kid,once this is over 'm bringin' the adoption papers-- Alphonso half joked,laying Back down as well.

--n then you say you aint got no favoritism-- The younger Man added with a smirk.

--Guilty. But thats 'tween me n god -- the captain answered-- but seriously though,Next time you feel like talkin' about somethin' y'come find me,'kay?

--Ten-four, cap.

Alphonso was always so nice to him,so caring and protective. Lucas knew that he had to cut himself some slack,if it wasnt for him- then for Wheeler who would really like it if he was Kinder to himself.

Just out of Curiosity, he wonders if he can draw Wheeler from memory. So,he chooses and empty corner of his Journal and starts drawing him, he wasnt the best artist to ever Grace the earth but he could try.

"And in years to come, you’ll wander

To the place up on our hill

And then you’ll cry to our painted sky

"I loved him then, I love him still"

And you’ll strew some sage and lilies

And roses where I rot

Of all the flowers you picked

I knew you would forget forget-me-nots"

The end result is nothing fancy,but he likes it. Theres some details he got wrong like the shape of the eyebrows or the aging marks in his face,but its something.

Shit,when was the last time he visited Wheeler's grave?. Maybe after all this he should go and leave some flowers,tell him about his life, of what hes been going through. He was sure that even in death,Wheeler would gladly listen to him and his problems,Like he always did.

Lucas waits out the storm cleaning his guns and marking alternative routes to get to milton-haven

When the rain calms down a little,he packs his things and goes to finish up his checklist(after grabbing a lunch)

He gets the gas refilled, and does a little maintenance on the other equipment hes got laying around, but soon as hes about to check out to Keep driving, the rain gets worse and worse. So hes ought to stay the night.

Lucas ends up eating some MRES and cheap beer for dinner. Then he lays down in bed with one of the vamos lamps on, he drums his fingers on his chest as he tries to fall asleep.

A few hours go by of incessant tossing and turning,he doesnt know if it is because of paranoia or the Fear that he'd have nightmares again.

He takes a deep breath, getting comfortable on his matress and trying to remember what sleeping in the troops barracks felt like. He tries to imagine the dark room, the light snoring of some of his teammates, the heavy footsteps of the patrolling soldiers,the pungent smell, the suspecious creaking from one of the beds in the room,the scratchyness of the covers...

It all feels so Real to the point that hes not sure if hes awake,asleep or both. But with the image clear In his head, he murmurs.

--Hey cap, cant sleep

--Whats on your mind,kid?-- comes a voice that feels like its infront of him.

--'m just paranoid-- Lucas replied,sounding exhausted-- been stuck in here all day, its been messin' with me

--I think you owe it to yerself t'have a day off.

--Thats the thing though- I need to get to Milton-Haven. I cant waste any time

--But cars can run on an empty fuel tank. Theres nothing bad in taking time to rest

--Yeah but what if I get there and theres nothing because I took too long

--cmon now kid, theres a big fat chance its going to be there when ya get there- whats gonna make 'em Scatter to the Winds in some small town?

--Guess yer right-- he replied,turning to his side.

--cmon now,go to bed. Y'gotta wake up early n 'm sure our superiors gonna come in any second to check we're asleep n unless ya wanna do push Ups at 2 a.m. id reccomend you get some shut eye

Lucas chuckled and nodded,only to go silent afterwards for a few minutes before quietly adding-- miss you,by the way-- in a weak,broken voice.

And he swears he can feel the bed dip as if someone sat beside him. He can feel a weight on his head,calming,reassuring,as if someone was ruffling his hair.

--Miss you too kid

Then,silence. Just as hes falling asleep he swears he can hear Alphonso go "im here with you,every step of the way. Keep going,kid"

Next morning, he recalls last night feeling like it felt too Real,he could hear the voice of Wheeler perfectly as if he was right there in the room. Its suspiciously accurate.

But then again,doesnt he have a vivid imagination?

[fisheadz]

The first time I played, for some dumb reason I just could not figure out how to get the pill inside the closed shipping container in Lucas’ tape. It was the bane of my existence, and I was so upset that I didn’t even bother getting the rest of the pills in the Building.

Now though, I’m just so mad at myself lmao, it was so easy.

In Lucas’ tape, you can find little gameboy things for both Lucas and Rosemary, like with Max’s tape. I gotta go and see if there’s any in Virginia and Allen’s now lol.

Also, the helmets on sticks? Iykyk but if you look away, then look back again, some of them might have red eyes for, like, just a split second. So cool.

Last post about this sad green man’s level, I could promise if I wasn’t unsure about that statement. My fav level for sure.

[oozeyboozey-archive]

" LITTLE GIRL GONE. GOT A GUN FROM A GANGSTER "

mutuals may like & reblog.

[the-mighty-het-speaks]

boots on the battlestation

[alivegirlmari]

surely they’re going to do something subversive with w*lter & misty right. surely they understand this character could literally never be in a normal dating type relationship even with a guy who is also a certified freak right. surely they understand the tragedy of her character - a tragedy of her own making - is that a non-wilderness love interest will never understand her fully, and a wilderness love interest is built on a secret (the black box) that can never be revealed so the best she can hope for and the happiest she’ll ever get is an intense weird mostly one-sided situationship with women who don’t like her but would hate her even more if they knew the truth. surely they understand she already knows this and yet she still reaches out and always will. surely they understand how boring it is make a male love interest a literal carbon copy of the woman right. surely they understand the reason her dynamics with the girls works is because of the differences in personalities right. right. right.

[ir0nheir]

tag dump. feel free to disregard.

◈  HE’S GOT HIS POPS SMILE AND HIS MOTHER’S HEART.    //    james. ◈  THERE’S A SCARED BOY UNDERNEATH ALL THE BRAVERY.    //    musing. ◈  YEAH … I’M NOT REALLY FOR THE FLASHING LIGHTS.    //    isms. ◈  I JUST WANT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTS.    //    wishlist. ◈  YOU DON’T KNOW A THING ABOUT ME.    //    headcanons.

[minediamonds]

@okruchlodu

@starwrittenfates

A word of advice, my sweet Emmett.

Queer as Folk –3.14: The Election

[starsunit]

001 . TAG DUMP

[cuteybunny]

[brckensociety]

tag drop | faye yao, flash goodman, fletcher wolfe & fox morales

[voidwritesstuff]

WE ARE SO BACK

(Currently working on Long Way To The Truth chapter 6: Nevada)

[fisheadz]

Finally beat the Flash, after playing on and off for a couple nights when it’s colder. Hopefully I’ll be able to play more. I got on around 11pm, and now it’s 4am. Funnn. At least I’m one step closer to getting to do it all over again!

[oozeyboozey-archive]

MANY TALENTS OF ANYA BARNES. ( getaway driver )

mutuals may like & reblog.

[brckensocietyarch]

tag drop | flash goodman

[swiftdeception]

tags 3

[80rosequartz08]

I hate when I'm ranting about how I dislike a character or how they were poorly written and some idiotic stan of their comes in and starts diagnosing them with like 55687876 mental disorders/disabilities to excuse their behavior/writing.

"Uh-um-uh-ah- this character has BPD, lactose intolerance, autism, ADHD, and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ism so you CAN'T SAY that they're a bad person for abusing/assaulting their partners and friends!"

News Flash: Having trauma/a disability doesn't excuse shit!!!

((Also: "If you think piling disorders on a character instead of just writing a well-rounded character to begin with is 'shitty writing', go fuck yourself!" I can't believe how stupid some people can be...))