#is this show worth all my time and effort????
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TRK KANDREW QUOTES:
- "Andrew twisted and punched the wall hard enough to split the skin along his knuckles. Kevin took a quick step forward, hand out like he could stop Andrew from landing a second blow"
- "You shouldn't be outside if you're coming down with something," Kevin said. "Such concern." Andrew grinned at Kevin's cool tone. "Don't cry, Kevin. It's nothing a nap and some vitamin C can't fix."
- Kevin had a knee hugged to his chest and his face hidden in the fold of his arm. His knuckles were white where his hand was clenched into a fist. Neil didn't think it was the bus that was making Kevin shake like that. "Look at me," Andrew said. "It'll be fine. You believe me, yes?" "I believe you," Kevin said, muffled but noticeably strained.
- "Andrew has neither purpose nor ambition," Kevin said. "I was the first person who ever looked at Andrew and told him he was worth something. When he comes off these drugs and has nothing else to hold him up I will give him something to build his life around." (my fav quote)
- Kevin had eyes only for Andrew as he crouched in front of the downed goalkeeper. "So," Kevin said, "did you have fun?" Andrew was too tired to put any heat in his words. "You are despicable, Kevin Day. I don't know why I keep you around."
- Kevin only smiled, slow and sure and pleased, and offered Andrew a hand. Andrew looked at it, then at Kevin, and let Kevin haul him to his feet.
- "Why do you have his drugs?" "I hold onto them when he's adjusting his schedule," Kevin answered. "Game nights or nights like tonight when he wants to go into withdrawal, it's better if someone else keeps the bottle. If he has his pills he'll take them. He won't be able to help himself."
- "When I said I wasn't Andrew's type, I meant it. It's not about my looks or faith. It's that I'm a woman." Neil heard her words but was slow to understand them. He blinked at her in confusion, blinked again when it clicked, and said a little too loudly, "Oh. Then Andrew and Kevinâ"
- "Andrew won't agree to this," Abby said, a last-ditch effort to change their minds. "Going means leaving Kevin behind. They haven't had more than a campus between them since Andrew took Kevin under his wing."
- "Kevin," Andrew called from out of sight. Kevin nearly knocked the chair over in his hurry to answer. Neil watched from the doorway as Andrew stopped almost right up against Kevin. Andrew pat Kevin down for imaginary injuries and Kevin stood motionless until he was done."
- "Look at that face, Bee. He wants me sober more than almost anyone does, but only if the timing's right. I warned you, didn't I? Who will take care of Kevin if I'm gone? I can't trust him wandering around here by himself, and Coach can't be with him all the time. Kevin's kind of a full-time job."
- "I can't believe you're sending Andrew away," Kevin said, a little sharply.
- "She shouldn't have taken Andrew away," Kevin said in a low voice.
- Kevin is not like us; he is valuable but he is not property in the same sense. He escaped because he had family to run to." "Andrew?" Neil guessed.
- âKevin had spent the better part of a year trying to get through to Andrew. He wanted Exy to mean something; he wanted Andrewâs best preformance like a dying man wanted one last breath of air. Andrew knew it, and he refused to play along.â
- (this oneâs long:) "So you'll try," Kevin said through gritted teeth, "because Coach asked you to."
Andrew folded his arms across his knees, tilted his head back, and smiled up at Kevin.
"Careful, Kevin. Your jealous streak is showing."
"For eight months you've told me no. In eight seconds you told him yes. Why?"
"Oh, that's easy." Andrew stuffed the last of his gear into his bag and zipped it shut. He slung the bag over his shoulders and got to his feet, standing up so close to Kevin he almost knocked Kevin back a step.
"It's just more fun to tell you no. That's what you wanted, right? You wanted me to have fun. I am. Aren't you?"
For someone so small, Andrew made a lot of noise when shoved into the lockers. Andrew was laughing as he crashed into the orange metal. Neil didn't know what amused Andrew more: Kevin's violence or the splash of blood that now stained the front of Kevin's shirt. Neil hadn't even seen Andrew take a knife out, but it was in his hand in the air between them. Kevin retreated from Andrew with a sharp curse.
"Jesus, Andrew!" Matt said. "Kevin, are you all right?"
"I'm fine." Kevin put a hand to his chest as if checking the truth of his words. Neil was at the far end of the lockers from them, so he couldn't see very well, but the relative lack of blood made him think the cut was shallow. It was long, but it wasn't serious. It was going to sting when Kevin put heavy armor overtop it tonight, though.
Andrew stepped away from the lockers and got in Kevin's space again. He put the edge of the blade against Kevin's chest over his heart and peered up into Kevin's face. Kevin looked more angry than intimidated as he stared back. Matt started toward them, maybe thinking he had to break up round two of their fight. Kevin didn't look away from Andrew when he motioned at Matt to back off.â
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đđđđśđđđ đđđśđđ˝đđ
Sylus x F!MC
word count: 1.6k
summary: After a UNICORNS holiday party, you meet up with Sylus in the most festive attire you have in your closet.
note: for @silverrings-n-prettythings, merry christmas bitch ily
Holiday parties with mandatory attendance rules were stupid.
You understood and somewhat respected the desire to reward the team for their efforts this year and give them an opportunity to relax, but requiring attendance at the event made the party less of a party and more of a team meeting. Your pre-existing plans be damned, âteam bondingâ was more important than the dinner reservations your partner had made. Despite how exclusive the restaurant was, how difficult it was to get those reservations - it was the party over anything and you did fear retaliatory missions should you choose to skip.
Tara had tried over the last week to get you to bring the boyfriend sheâd yet to meet, seeing this as the golden opportunity to finally meet the mysterious Skye - âIf that was his real nameâ. Every suggestion that you use your right to a plus one is shot down, but you donât correct her on his name or the way the excitedly slipped off the morning of the party when youâd tiredly mumbled something sarcastic regarding his appearance that evening.
Her disappointment when you show up alone is almost enough to make you feel bad. Almost. But you wear your sweater, a bright red garment decorated with white snowflakes and black feathers and at the front read Santa Caws with a Grumpy Crow wearing a santa hat. Everyone could be well aware that you didnât want to be there and would only be there long enough to be noticed before you left, but they couldnât say that you were trying to be a buzzkill. You drank, chatted, danced, and had a merry time with your coworkers until your phone vibrated in your back pocket.
Sylus
6:04pm
Fifteen minutes, sweetie.
Sylus
6:04pm
Donât keep me waiting.
Your exit is well timed, making sure to grab the box you were eyeing from the white elephant table on your way out in adherence to the rules. It wasnât anything fancy or expensive, but it was necessary for you to make sure you had the last laugh against Sylus tonight.
âAnd just where do you think youâre going?â Tara asks, speech slurred as an accusatory finger is pointed in your direction. âItâs only-â
âI still have reservations to make, Tara. Iâll see you on Monday, get home safe!â
Sheâs too tipsy to be able to catch you before the elevator door closes, and you lean against the wall with a sigh of relief at finally being free from that party. You were having fun, but even forty-five minutes was too long when you knew Sylus was waiting for you.
The elevator doesnât move fast enough, the security locks take too long to register and record your credentials (and take even longer to actually unlock the doors) but itâs all worth it when youâre finally stepping out of the Hunter Association building and into the crisp winter air outside.
âThat sweater is more of a crime than anything thatâs ever occurred in the N109 zone.â
The pot was certainly calling the kettle black here, as Sylus was wearing a green cardigan that was obnoxious with every move he made; covered in little bells, garland, and lights that decorated the little tree shapes knitted into the fabric. Luke and Kieran certainly delivered when youâd asked for them to produce the worst thing they could find for him to wear for your date this evening. But still, even in something so heinous, Sylusâ figure was imposing as he leaned against the car that would be your chariot for the evening.
âMine doesnât alert everything in a five mile radius of my position when I breathe,â you retort, poking his chest and being in delight when the bells sounded in response. âBut nice try.â
He only chuckles, opening the door of the vehicle for you to slide into the passengerâs seat. You set the box down at your feet as Sylus makes his way around to the driverâs seat.
You tell him about your day as he drives, answering the questions he had about the party you were at and your coworkerâs - specifically Tara - suspicions regarding your dating life.
âYou know, considering you run around with various pictures of me on hand and nobody has said anything, Iâm sure you couldâve brought me to your work party.â
âWhile youâre right, I do like keeping you to myself.â
âIs that so?â
âIâm very possessive, Sylus.â
âIâm very aware, sweetie.â He winks, the action bringing a fresh heat to your cheeks as he continues. âPerhaps I want to see what happens when a kittenâs territory is threatened.â
âIâd have to be insecure to feel threatened,â you counter, smirking in your victory when he hums his approval. âOur uninterrupted time together is often limited, so if I donât have to share your attention Iâm not going to.â
âA sentiment we share, my bell.â
Your dinner is quiet, some patrons of the restaurant also dressed to match the season while others were dressed more formal to match the usual atmosphere of this restaurant. The restaurant overlooks the amusement park, treating you to a holiday light show as you eat your dinner at one of the coveted balcony tables. Despite the chill, youâre kept warm by the various fire pits going strong among the tables and youâre further warmed by Sylusâ attentive gaze as you discuss plans for the holiday and upcoming new year.
âI know you said not to worry about moving the reservation, but I do want to apologize for the inconvenience it mustâve been for you.â
âI appreciate your concern, but it actually worked out for the better because it meant I could secure this table.â
âThatâs good to hear then. You should probably make next yearâs reservations in advance.â
What were you saying? Making plans for a year in advance when tomorrow was barely guaranteed in your line of work? When you didnât even know where your separate occupations would lead you? It was silly to make suggestions like that and youâre a bit embarrassed that you would try to.
âA good idea, sweetie.â
The praise has you grinning despite your embarrassment, clearly worried for no reason when he hasnât even blinked at the suggestion. Maybe he was just as hopeful as you were for continued tomorrows that would carry you to the next holiday and every one after that?
âLetâs finish our ice cream, wouldnât want the light maze line to get too terribly long.â
The line for the maze moves quickly, and soon youâre holding onto Sylusâ hand tightly as you move through the maze. Even with the balcony overlooking a section of the maze, the lights decorating the walls and other lost adventurers made it difficult to truly find your bearings in the structure. But youâre with Sylus and this time With him feels sacred, so youâre truly enjoying every minute with him that you have. You canât help but think that youâd like to do this every year with him, exploring the light maze and watching the light shows while wearing ugly sweaters in the fanciest restaurant in Linkon City. The thought makes you slow down, something that Sylus definitely notices if the way he pulls you to the side is any indicator. Itâs a good place to stop, not in the way of anyone else exploring the light maze and youâre grateful for the moment to be away from others as you stand at the dead end.
âYouâre thinking hard, sweetie.â His observation with coupled with a hand on your cheek, and you smile up at him in an effort to assure him that you were alright. âTell me whatâs on your mind.â
âYeah, I was just thinking that Iâd like to spend every holiday season watching the lights here with you,â you murmur, your arms winding around his neck tightly as he leans in to lift you into his arms so he could comfortably rest his forehead against yours. His hands are warm through your jeans as they support your weight, and you feel your cheeks get even warmer at your intimate positioning in such a public space.
âIâll do everything in my power to make sure I get to see the lights decorating your eyes, silver bell.â
You want to argue that itâs him the lights compliment more, pale skin illuminated by the soft hues surrounding you in the light maze. Ruby red irises sparkle with the reflection of twinkling lights, the sight mesmerizing and further complimented by his soft smile as he looks at you.
âThe things Iâd do to you if we werenât in the middle of an amusement park.â
âTell the twins to set up some lights in your bedroom, you can act on it all there.â You suggest, grin stretching across your face when he lets out a hum indicating that he was satisfied with your suggestion. âJust without the jingling sweater.â
For emphasis, you flick one of the bells sitting at the collar of his cardigan, warning a chuckle from your silver haired lover before he leans in to capture your lips in a kiss.
Itâs saccharine, sweeter than the ice cream youâd shared on the balcony and carrying every sentiment let unsaid between you. The lights around you only make the moment more magical, and you wish there was a camera that could capture this moment but at the same time are grateful that this would live in your memories alone.
âIt seems Iâve defeated the purpose of the mistletoe youâve had on you since you left your party.â He teases, voice a murmur against your lips as you grin.
âThatâs for later tonight,â you inform, pressing your lips to his in a chaste peck. âYouâll find out soon enough.â
After all, how was he supposed to expect that it was going to go around your waist?
#sylus x reader#love and deepspace sylus#I will tag this better in the morning#but as long as silver reads this idgaf honestly
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ââ â DAY 24: christmas with the yellowjackets
â summary: christmas eve with the yellowjackets hcs (shauna. jackie. lottie. nat. van. tai. laura lee.)
â warnings: fluff. established relationships. gn!reader.
shauna shipman
â christmas eve at shaunaâs is endearingly chaotic. after a slightly overwhelming family dinner, shauna catches your eye from across the table, her expression speaking volumes. as soon as the dishes are cleared, she tugs you by the hand up to her attic bedroom. Itâs small but cozy, filled old soccer trophies, faded posters, a stack of dusty books, and most importantly, itâs just the two of you. she pulls out a half-empty bag of holiday chocolates she stashed away earlier and plops down on the bed, grinning as she offers you one. âthis is way better than listening to my mom ask about my âfive-year plan,â right?â she teases, leaning her head on your shoulder as you unwrap the candy and settle in for a quiet moment together.
â shauna insists on a tradition she started as a kid: exchanging one gift on christmas eve. she pulls out a small box sheâs been hiding under the tree all evening and hands it to you with a sheepish smile. âi couldnât wait for this one,â she admits softly, watching you unwrap it. inside is something thoughtful: simple, but so uniquely her. when itâs your turn, you pass her a neatly wrapped book youâd been meaning to share with her for months: itâs your favorite, but youâve left small notes and annotations between the lines.
â shauna definitely isnât one for large, over the top gestures. instead, she finds subtle ways to show sheâs thinking about you. while everyoneâs distracted during dessert, she quietly slides the last piece of hers onto your plate with a small, knowing smile. later, as the family gathers around the living room to watch a movie, she settles beside you, her knee pressed against yours. the way her fingers softly brush against yours under the blanket youâre sharing says everything she canât in a room full of people.
jackie taylor
â jackie insists on everything being perfect for christmas eve, and that includes you. she spends way too long fussing over her outfit, then quickly turns her attention to yours. whether itâs a cozy sweater or something more festive, jackie 100% makes it her mission to ensure you both look like youâve stepped out of one of these cheesy holiday romcoms she makes you watch. only then, the two of you join her family for dinner. of course, her mom comments on how good you both look, which jackie takes as confirmation that all her efforts were worth it.
â jackie adores introducing you to her extended family, playing the role of the best friend perfectly. they might not know the true nature of your relationship, but she makes a point in showing you off nonetheless. she clings to your arm, proudly showing you off and basking in the compliments about how amazing the two of you look together. when her little cousins start to get rowdy, she ropes you into playing board games with them, determined to prove she can win more than just soccer matches.
â after dinner, jackie insists on dragging you outside for a walk in the snow where itâll just be the two of you. complete with scarves, gloves, and her earmuffs. itâs her favorite part of the day; walking hand-in-hand as the neighborhood lights twinkle around you. in her block, the neighbors went all out with their decorations and itâs fun to wander around and look at the different lights and houses. at some point, sheâll stop, her cheeks rosy from the cold, and kiss you softly, whispering, âmerry christmasâ
lottie matthews
â on the 24th , lottie wakes up early, watching you sleep from her desk while she works on the final touches of your present. by the time you wake up too, sheâs finishing up her letter for you. you blink your eyes open to the bright, white light coming in through the windows and find her with her legs drawn to her chest and her eyes on you. she gives you something meaningful, albeit a little too expensive for your personal liking, like a charm bracelet with a symbol that reminds her of your connection, and watches nervously as you open it, her face only lighting up when you smile and approve.
â with you, christmas feels a lot less lonely and lottie makes use of that in every possible way, relishing in your company. you can spend the day however the two of you like, so she takes you out before anyone else is up, only returning after a thorough walk through the snowy streets of wiskayok. she spends the whole time clinging to your hand and whether thereâs something for you to talk about, or just comfortable silence, you both enjoy each otherâs company. âi think christmas is way better with you hereâ she admits before kissing you gently.
â she has a sweet but quirky side that shines during the holiday season: insisting you join her in lighting candles for âgood vibesâ before dinner, picking out the prettiest ornaments for the tree, and even convincing you to meditate with her by the fireplace after the chaos of the day. by the end of the night, youâre both cuddled under a blanket, sipping tea while she curls up against you.
nat scatorccio
â christmas eve with nat starts quieter than most. sheâs not even used to it being a big deal at all. however, since she started dating you, sheâs been showing up on your doorstep every christmas to spend the holiday with you instead: knocking on your door with a lopsided grin and a couple of small, awkwardly wrapped presents in hand. again: sheâs not used to big celebrations, but the sight of your warm, bustling home instantly softens her.
â nat, being nat, spends a lot of her time deflecting with sarcasm, trying to pretend like none of this is getting to her at all, complaining about your auntâs fruitcake or your dadâs bad jokes. but you can tell sheâs secretly enjoying herself by the smiles she flashes you from across the room whenever the mask accidentally slips. when your family hands her a stocking they filled for her last minute, her eyes widen in surprise, and she mutters something about how âtotally cheesyâ it is while holding onto it like itâs the best thing sheâs ever received.
â after dinner, nat drags you (and your siblings/cousins) outside for some âfresh airâ and immediately starts a snowball fight, pelting you with snow while laughing so hard she nearly falls over. when you finally tackle her to the ground, pinning her in the snow, she grabs your face with cold hands and kisses you impulsively. âmerry christmas,â she says, grinning up at you. ânow help me up before i freeze to death here!â
van palmer
â van is not a morning person, not even on the day of christmas eve, so unless you wake her, sheâs staying in bed as long as possible - even if youâve got plans for the evening. when you do finally poke and kiss her awake, she insists on dragging the blankets with her to the couch, still half-asleep but grinning as she wishes you a lazy, âmerry christmas.â sheâs the kind of girlfriend who wraps herself around you on the sofa and refuses to let you go until sheâs fully awake and ready for coffee.
â christmas movies are non-negotiable with van. she pulls out a stack of VHS tapes sheâs been keeping since october and insists you watch them all with her. she recites all the best lines, laughs way too loud at the cheesy parts, and even makes up drinking game rules if youâre up for it.
â van 100% thrives on the energy of the holidays, so she makes sure to keep things fun whenever she can: whether itâs putting way too much whipped cream on your hot chocolate, building an absurdly decorated gingerbread house with you, or starting a wrapping-paper-ball fight in the living room, sheâs all about making you laugh and creating ridiculous memories together. at the end of the day, she pulls you close under the glow of the christmas lights and whispers, âthis might be the best christmas yetâ
taissa turner
â tai, unlike van, is also up rather early, making sure everything is perfect for the day. sheâs not overly sentimental, but lets her thoughtfulness show in little ways, like sneaking downstairs to make you coffee and setting up your favorite breakfast before youâre even awake. sheâll also ârandomlyâ give you a gift so personal and meaningful that you feel overwhelmed in the best way possible.
â tai knows how to navigate the chaos of christmas eve much better than you do yourself. if you spend it at your place, she happily helps your family keep everything on track, whether itâs herding your younger siblings or stepping in to help with cooking. but she always makes time to steal quiet moments with you, slipping away to sit outside or wander through the snow, her gloved hand intertwined with yours whenever possible.
â if things ever get overwhelming (whether itâs a noisy dinner table or your little cousins running wild) tai is always the first to notice and pulls you aside, offering calm reassurance, a subtle shoulder rub, a tight hug, or whatever else you might need. by the end of the night, youâre curled up on the couch together, her arm draped around you as she murmurs softly, âi love spending today with youâ
laura lee
â laura lee wakes up extra early on the 24th. it is definitely her favorite holiday and sheâs even more excited to share it with you. in the morning,she spends some time reflecting on âthe meaning of the seasonâ and invites you to join her -not because she expects you to share her faith exactly, but because itâs important to her to include you in something so personal. you sit together by the tree, sipping cocoa as she quietly talks about gratitude and the hope she finds in the season.
â laura lee has a gentle way of making literally everything feel peaceful and meaningful. whether itâs the way she smiles at you during a family dinner or how she softly sings along to christmas songs while holding you close, she makes you feel like the most important part of her day. by the end of the night, you realize youâve never felt more at home than you do with her.
â laura lee appreciates it when you join her for christmas church service, even if you donât share her beliefs. she doesnât take your presence for granted, holding your hand tightly in hers as you sit together in the glow of candles and the sound of hymns. afterward, sheâs all soft smiles as she thanks you for being there with her. later that night, curled up together under a blanket, she reads to you from your favorite book while you rest your head on her shoulder.
â a/n: merry christmas to all those of you who celebrate today and/or tomorrow!! thank you for joining me on this writing challenge! i really hope you enjoyed reading these as much as loved writing them for you guys! you can find all 24 christmas fics here!! <3
#Ë â Ě !! â christmas works#shauna shipman#shauna shipman x reader#jackie taylor#jackie taylor x reader#nat scatorccio#nat scatorccio x reader#lottie matthews#lottie matthews x reader#van palmer#van palmer x reader#taissa turner#taissa turner x reader#laura lee yellowjackets#laura lee x reader#yellowjackets#yellowjackets x reader
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Ok, but a canon-divergent AU where Bruce is a terrible father figure to Dick, but he doesn't know it.
Of course, in canon Bruce is far from being a perfect father (even a good one in many cases), but at least he cares about Dick, even if he has a peculiar way of showing it (I'm talking to you, Bruce, who decides if saving the world is worth it only if Dick will be okay).
But imagine an AU where everything happened the same, or almost, except that neither Alfred nor Bruce cared to show, not even kindness, but that much empathy for Dick. However, in this AU Dick's father was not very affectionate either, so Dick does not associate male figures as affectionate.
It's not until Dick is with his team that he learns... That's not normal.
Dick: So... You guys didn't train until you pass out? Weren't you taught that the only way to get better is to push your own limits?
Roy: *wanting to kill Bruce* No, Dick. The first thing they teach you is how to stay safe, you know, avoid getting to the point where you pass out from the effort.
Dick: Oh.
Donna: Dick, you should rest, you're hurt. You literally have a broken ankle.
Dick, who is at the gym, doing arm exercises and twists that are not at all safe for an injured person: I'm fine, Donna. I'm just warming up. I've been on patrol in worse conditions.
Donna: Wdym by that? Worse???
Dick: Yes...? Villains don't take a break just because you're hurt, you know that.
Donna: That's why there are other heroes to help!
Dick: Don't you guys have a rule about not taking help from anyone? That shows weakness and...
Donna: No, Dick, no.
Dick, confused: Oh.
Wally: Please tell me you're not doing that thing again.
Dick: What thing?
Wally: Not sleeping or eating to be on guard.
Dick: Well, it's my job, so...
Wally: You. Are. A. Human. YOU NEED REST AND FOOD.
Dick: I'm fine, it's not like...
Wally: Don't you dare say that Batman made you stay in those conditions for more days. That's NOT normal, Dick.
Dick: ... It's not?
Dick: So... you guys aren't on guard all the time waiting for your mentors to surprise attack you to test your reflexes?
Roy: I swear to God I gonna kill him.
Donna: I'll help.
Wally: On it.
Dick: *panics*
It's even worse for his friends when they discorver that his siblings are being treated much better, as after he leaves, Bruce and Alfred finally begin to notice how to treat children.
Dick was literally trial and error.
#dick grayson#nightwing#batman#bruce wayne#roy harper#donna troy#wally west#alfred pennyworth#alternate universe#dc comics#bruce wayne is a horrible father#he gets better#but it's too late
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Fellas can you take this somewhere else. Maybe. Just not in the fucking halls. Thanks đŤĄ
I couldn't resist drawing out these tags I wrote on a dif post LMFAO
Moe just has...... SO many problems.......
Close-ups of my fave shots!
The elusive LĂf...
#fire emblem#feh#i'm like. split between feeling proud of this and feeling So Over It LMFAOOOOOOO#which is why. lighting could be better. but i don't care enough to put in more work than i already have LMFAOO#LIKE... ONE COOL PART is this could be my first fully colored comic piece w completely original dialogue???#where like. i didn't quit at any point of it. EXCEPT. skimping on the backgrounds. but again. more effort than i'm willing to put in#but i think it still counts bc my only real plan was to have the askr pillars/walls as framing/backdrops#ALSO the characterization... in the panel where lif walks into frame. it's SO fun to me#they both look at lif. but moe is Not subtle about it. looking directly at him. while alfonse side-eyes him.#and the most IMPORTANT detail. is that alfonse and lif are making the same kind of face. like đ¤¨#there is SO MUCH POTENTIAL. in alfonse and lif sharing facial expressions. in having the same knee-jerk reactions to things.#and it's espppp fun to figure out bc you're only working w half of lif's face. it's all in the eyes/brows and SOMETIMES!#SOMETIMES!!!! it's in the nose! in this illust he is more relaxed/resting so you don't see it here#but i'm TELLING you. adding some scrunch to the nose can add soooo much expression-wise#this took longer than i expected it to. also. which is why i'm so over it LMFAOO#but i do think the extra time was worth it... first run of the last panel was too lighthearted/jokey#capturing some conflict between moe/alfonse was the right choice. in how intensely this starts off (tonally)#AND! in showing how they do butt heads at times. in fact sometimes they clash REALLY badly!!!!#which is actually so huge bc i've wanted to capture this since the beginning. how they're so similar but also so opposite#that a lot of times! they understand each other deeply and cover each other's basis. HOWEVER.....#other times. it's just catastrophic. like it isn't That intense here but you can probably see how it goes horribly wrong.#i am... always thinking about it.... and only occasionally stressing myself out about it LMFAOOO#fe alfonse#fe lif#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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#personal#thinking about how the phrase treat others how you want to be treated is actually incredibly one way#unless damn near every person ive ever met wants to be treated like shit which i cant imagine is true#like idk i spent a lot of my time giving my energy to people. and ill never feel bad for putting love and kindness out into the world#but i gave some of these people everything i had. or not everything that would diminish me but everything i could spare for them at the time#i treated them attentively and considerately and tenderly and lovingly#and that kindness has not been extended back to me by most of these people#some of them have surely in their own 'love language' and im grateful for these people in my life#but most of the people ive treated with intentional care have actively and on purpose caused me a lot of emotional harm#which again. im working through and like karma will get them without me needing to be there or whatever while i do my own healing#but regardless i still think some of that shit should not have happened like it did#i dont understand how everyone can say to me treat others how youd like to be treated but not tell me the caveat#that they will not treat me the way i want to be treated even if i put in that effort for them/for our friendship or relationship or whatevr#like idk im a bitch for asking you to leave me alone when ive been vomiting for two days straight but you can straightup sexually misconduct#with my body and then when i write poetry about it and share my feelings instead of leaving and taking that information anywhere helpful#you get to decode youre traumatized actually and im still a bitch for bringing it up?#make it make sense#'treat others the way you want to be treated' so youd like it if i starved you and verbally insulted and gaslight and manipulated you? no?#then what the fuck is the point of you saying that to me???#idk im just fucking pissed rn that. idk what im pissed at. cause again i know im no contact with all of these people now and their#shitty justice will find its way to them. and i cant be mad at myself for saddling with the wrong people cause some of that was my choices#and some of it was blood i couldnt escape for a long time. and i said i dont want to regret or resent#putting love out to the world#but i am still angry that so much of me was given to the wrong people. that these people just chose to completely ignore#the level of respect and patience and kindness i showed them#idk dudes im just angry. 'treat others the way you want to be treated' fuck off thats some quiet manipulation bullshit to get me to be#nicer to you even as you abuse the self-worth outta me fuck off fuck you#i found it again. you cant bury it im too full of love to not love myself too but it hurts how hard they tried for so long#'treat others the way you want to be treated' how bout no. how bout i treat everyone with a base level of kindness#and when youve shown me that you will treat me the way i deserve to be treated then ill fucking play niceys back
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(re-ish)watching ncis in 2023 is like came for the murder and crime solving, stayed for the absolutely unhinged tiva plotline
#zanna talks#ncis you beautiful mess of a show#like yeah it's blatantly nationalistic and Very post9/11 and us military propaganda#it likes to be misogynistic and xenophobic and try to play it as a joke#sometimes gibbs will do things that make me feel ill#and also it looooves praising cops and idolizing the maverick mentality and villifying defense lawyers#um point being it's got a lot of flaws and if i hadn't associated it with childhood nostalgia i'm not sure i could have made it far enough#in my rewatch to hit the point where it actually feels worth it past being a good distraction when i feel bad#like the point where you watch tony really start to grow and the plotlines get better and the relationships deepen etc#but man when it hits it hits#wild to watch it as an adult and realize actually the tiva stuff was there all along with effort put in and it wasnt just me making it up#75% of the time theyre just sniping at each other and being annoying coworkers but sometimes they give u a glimpse#not just of how good thye are as a dynamic but just the mcrt in general?#tony burning the letter from jeanne and trying to let go after realizing his team is like his family??#them being the ones to get ziva out of somalia and not her shitty bio dad and sticking up for her when she wants out???#them always believing in each other when they get framed ?? thanksgiving together??#coworkers as family is highly unrealistic in this day and age and maybe just in general but im willing to allow it bc man. they care.#sorry this got. away from me. what was i even talking about#ncis
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(copy/pasting this last paragraph bc i literally hit the mobile image limit tumblr when i get you:)
also. i think chiaki wants in one day after seeing them. nagito is Immensly upset about this but keeps his composure . because now hajime is his knees and that's fine too.. i hink chiaki's trying to be careful to not dirty but hajimes like "u cant garden right if ure too scared of getting kinda dirty! god made dirt and dirt dont hurt ^o^" (this is also how he justifies eating slightly dirted from dropping food. i mean he is a farmboy i dont doubt he wouldnt od that.) LOLL toodles ^w^
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OKAY. so tumblr hates fun and glitched this ask out so i couldnât answer it but i do not care i Will Answer It.
@spinecurlingmice (@ing you so u get the notif) i could kiss you on the mouth MWWWAH this is gorgeous and lines up so well with things i already have in mind for priest au. literally everything here fits into the canon i have in mind itâs perfect. iâve been wanting to do more worldbuilding and such but i get really tired (lots of researchâŚ. lots and lots of googling) and youâve done such an important thing for me by finding incredible plant symbolism. mwwah mwah mwah thank youuuu <333 obsessed with a lot of this but this post is long as hell already so itâs tags time
#ask#mice#priest au#i really really love how hajime being there gets nagito to put more effort into the church#through hajimeâs sacrifice of his own self worth and determination he betters his community#GOD thatâs such good metaphors. also keeping up appearances yumyum#obsessed with your plant choices. dahlias have so much fun symbolism it is SO clever to include them⌠arenât they toxic too..#the kmda checking out hnta while he gardens⌠i actually think hnta would be kind of oblivious to this at first#he always feels like heâs being watched at church. like thereâs eyes boring into him at all times#âŚhe must finally be feeling the presence of God!#OH and the cash thing⌠ur so real#without sharing too much. when kmda inherited the church from his parents he also inherited a fair amount of. tithings.#he likes to keep the church humble so he doesnât spend too much at first. just keeps the place clean and maintained and pretty#but not like. opulent. fanciest thing in there is the stained glass#but then hajime shows up. and all these little purchases start to appearâ and; well; they better the church so itâs justified#hajime being proud of having His Watering Can like a dog boasting about its tags⌠so good#naming the lily âshelby.â heâs so cute i love him#ALSO HNTA ESSENTIALLY WORKING TWO JOBSâŚ. âiâm devoting myself to the lord this is good this is goodâ (he is exhausted)#also âgod made dirt and dirt donât hurtâ thatâs soooo cute. no u donât understand how cute that is#ohhhhh my little farm boyâŚ. :((( into torment realm you go hurry along now#i need to get some architecture sketches of the town downâŚ. general city plan + some of the important buildings#thatâll be kinda fun to figure out actually
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I've noticed I have more joint pain recently but like 90% of the time it's a ten second burst at most and isn't even all that intense so idk if it's worth bothering about or not
#bambi's rambling#vent#tw vent#<- not really moreso in case people dont feel like looking at this kinda thing lol#i did tell my mom about it a while back because i wanted to know if it lined up at all with what she experiences#(she's got several conditions that are genetic so it would be good to know if i'm showing symptoms of what she has)#but all she did was tell me i need to exercise more#to be fair i probably do#i did try keeping track of the pain at one point but as it turns out. i am Bad at remembering to keep track of stuff#especially when it's stuff like getting a mild pain in my hand for like five seconds when i'm busy working on something#it happens a couple of times a week now at least i know that much#but at the same time its not that often. it doesnt last long. it doesnt majorly impact how i do stuff#so i feel like its probably not worth the effort to look into it
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[sorry for the hardcore tag rants, y'all]
#more than a little exhausted by certain things#no stability anywhere in life#not in work or family or even friends#would settle for literally just one single shred of continuity and reliance#one single piece of my life I can count on to be there for me and reliable and safe#just a shred of something or someone being there for me in the long run#work has proven garbage#family is so fucking volatile it might as well be an unhandled explosive#and the very few threads of friendship I've found and thought were worth the time and effort to strengthen have just#left me abandoned or floundering doing either all the work to be left behind or what I can to be uncounted for#either nothing or not enough and not counted for in the long run#because apparently my friendship is just as forgettable or easily disregarded as every other part of me#or at least that's how it definitely fuckin feels#and I'm So Spooked when it comes to making friends!#I'm scared to connect with people who actually seem genuinely interested in getting to know me and talk to me!#and that sucks bc I want to get to know them but everyone else seemed interested at first too and then a few months later!#they're just as hard to get in touch with as everyone else who turns away!#I don't want to annoy anyone or be too much anymore#I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt like a big giant fucking baby!#i know it's mostly on me and managing shit but it still just. sucks ASS.#I don't wanr to be scared to make friends because people abandon me#I don't want to run people off#I want to be better and have better because I know I deserve it#sorry for ranting I'm just. incredibly jacked up about some more recent stuff bc it brought up long term stuff#i am not immune to hating myself bc of bad friends#anyway yeah sorry i am done grambling#grant grumbles#grambling is my new grant grumbles extra#also to you amazing guys who are so full of love (myccc and hack!!!!!) ily tons and you bring me life#i am trying to be just as cool and worthy as you both!!!! please don't ever leave me! you keep me going even if I don't show it well!!!
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so much of "my roommate is a cat" hinges on the fact that subaru is autistic i forget that's not an actual canon thing. like genuinely i don't know how someone can understand the show if they don't understand subaru.
#i love my roommate is a cat it's the ultimate soft cozy comfort show#and one of the best autism-''representation'' shows#yeah subaru is autistic (and likely socially anxious) and the series is about him breaking out of his shell and making friends#but the narrative is so enormously empathetic towards him#it's not about ''needing to make friends so you can fit into society better and not be a loner outcast''#it's ''making friends is so hard (esp. if you're autistic) and it might be more appealing to just Not but human connection is so worth it''#''people will care about you. people do care about you as you already are.''#''yes it's on you to put in the effort and you will stumble but the benefits far outweigh them''#''cats are so cool''#astra rambles#personal#subaru mikazuki top five characters of all time.#everyone watch my roommate is a cat this is an order /hj
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"haney why you don't like watching movies you're missing out sm" you see, first, my brain is actually held together by a few loose screws and a string. second, I am scared of the moving image. hope this explains
#patxt#watching a movie or a show always ends up with me being more or less unwell and I am a big fan of actually being grounded so.#just not worth the effort okay. I am aware I am missing out on so so so much good stuff tho đ#watching am action movie and seeing people die is like frying my brain on a heated pan omlette style fml#and then i also have autism and movies are so fucking over stimulating there's just like. too much. of everyhring#I watch a movie from time to time tho >:) when I feel like I'll be able to hsndla all that
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#all you wanna do is cook dinner for people and it has to be a goddamn ordeal#tbd it has been a long chronically ill day with poor communication from the household and friends#and now i wish i hadn't spent the money on lamb chops for tonight and gumbo ingredients for tomorrow#because god forbid it not all perfectly align with the schedules of the household and god forbid people not be clear in their communication#id have made something else entirely if I'd known I'd have been the only one eating tonight i wouldn't have gone to the shops#id have made pantry pasta and bought some cheap wine at most and reconsidered how much i wanted to invest in Mardi gras#but now ive spent the money and tentatively invited people half of whom likely wont show and based on tonight#im not even sure its worth the effort because with my luck by the time its all made no one will be interested or show up
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and so it happens once more
#i love my work. dont get me wrong#but they have the same problem as any other nonprofit ever. and even some for profits actually#they cant turn away ppl that pay them big money to keep running their business#it happened at the last shelter it happens here#board members and big donors are god i get it#but we cant sacrifice what this place means for that <- would be what they say in movies#because you can. you do.#all the time!#you have your morals and mission statements but in the end you cant do any of it without donations#and good public reputation#and when you make an enemy of someone who is a donor or board member or prolific person in the community#you lose everything#you lose your reputation your funding your ability to do what it is youre doing#im just so pissed#i knew it wouldnt be different but i wanted it to be#this time its a board member / donor / landlord for our fucking outreach program#they took in a stray kitten (which is fine-ish not great but its okay since theyre practically an employee)#they scheduled an appt for preventatives and intake which is what we always do to make sure theyre not dying#then they never showed up for it#then they complained about diarrhea but still didnt make any effort to make it here#then the week. the 7 day long period that we are moving. they finally can bring the kitten in#she is in the worst shape ive seen in a while#raw butt from diarrhea. URI and third eyelids swollen. cant hardly walk bc her ass hurts too bad. leaking shit. covered in fleas#she is in more pain than cats we've gotten that were hit by cars#and she was with a FOSTER. a BOARD MEMBER FOSTER.#im so pissed off#all of us are and we dont know what to say#she looks like she was found stuck in a sewer full of her own shit for a week she looks like death#im torn between euth with her because i dont know if the recovery she'll need will be worth the pain#shelter posting
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genuinely it is difficult having cultivated the like. taste in fiction that i have now that i am in a place where i'm trying to talk to people more and make friends and so on and so forth and this is the field i'm having to play on with them. i don't think anyone has to be critic-brained (i do think its good to recognize that media is Authored and to look at things with both eyes open but some people simply enjoy things in other ways and i may get irritated by that but i don't suppose its Wrong) and i have in fact met people who Will meet me in that field but it doesnt change that the field i like to play in is much different and no one is expected to meet me there in the same way i am expected to play ball with marvel fans
#i find criticism and critique allows me a way into that field actually because i do not care for marvel#but if i try to pick it apart and see what its doing i can at least Converse with people about something#but its like. idk. thats an effort i make to talk to people and i dont find people do the same thing for me#and i dont really feel like its fair for me to ask either. in some ways that is me being silly and embarrassed and shy and all that#but in other ways its like well im not going to tell the most normal people i know to read flower that bloomed nowhere with me.#it gives people the impression that i live under a rock! i dont think i live under a rock i know about lots of stuff#its just different stuff and i dont usually talk without prompting and i find it hard to talk about something#if i think the other person wont know about it and ill have to explain it to them and hope maybe they look into it#i have looked into things for other people. i don't find people usually do that for me#there are even situations USUALLY with my mother if im being honest where she will take recommendations seriously#from genuinely everyone BUT me even watching things she'd normally never touch and its like Okay .#...#ive been having a hard week. its probably going to get harder as well (i go back to work tomorrow and i wasted my time off#being in pain and miserable and not being a presence in my own life)#and there is something about showing up to work with worse sh scars than usual and belt bruises on my neck#keeping my head down and not saying anything and having no one say anything to me at all that makes me feel. i dont know#how to word it. had a little breakdown alone in my* room yesterday and found myself sobbing 'help me' a lot#and maybe thats the root of it. i dont feel like people try for me the way i have been trying and it makes me feel like i am not worth#making the effort for. and i also dont know how to express this or ask for help without looking like a brat </3 so#anyway. ignore all that please thats embarrassing.
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Sometimes you have something that you could say, that you think about saying, that you more or less know how you'd phrase it... but it's just not fucking worth it cause you know for a fact that people don't fucking listen
I don't know, I try to stay... if not optimistic then at least with a mind set of "doesn't matter, we've got no choice but to try and make things better"
Truthfully though I think I'm extremely pessimistic when it comes to the chances of anyone actually listening to what I say
I'm not sure if I'm just bad with words but... it seems impossible to convey even simple thoughts to people so... truthfully I've more or less given up and have just stopped trying. Especially if I don't at least know people well
So there it is
#like I could have said this; and I could have said that; and... hmm... I just don't think I would have succeeded in conveying that like...#I'm actually on your side man; I'm in your corner on this#I think you might be tilting at windmills here#but it's not fucking worth it anymore cause history shows me I'd either get no response or one that missed every word I said#and... I just give up... with everything#I don't want to say no one listens because that goes too far; but even with people I like very few people feel like they listen#people I adore where it's like... I'm not sure how you don't get that I can't 'move out' of my house cause... it's my house; like I own it#it's a question of telling someone else they have to leave; but like... I ain't leaving my home... this is mine#and... I don't understand how... this is like the 3rd or 4th time I've had to explain this; and it doesn't add up to me#cause this is someone that's brilliant that I know cares about me#...so I'm mostly confused... and a bit sad and hurt... but mostly I just don't get what I'm doing wrong in communicating#but if that's how I feel about someone I'm close to; how do you think I feel about strangers?#I don't understand what it takes to get people to listen#and like... there's a chance they would have; there's a chance they would have been super receptive#it's just... it's no longer worth the effort to me#it's not worth the effort on a chance; and perhaps I do them a real disservice; and perhaps I do the next person one too#but... there's too many people I run into these days where I'm right and so... I don't know; kinda am closed off at this point#or something; fuck it; doesn't matter#also you people worry too much about me just saying what's on my mind#whatever the fuck I may say here... ain't I cleaning and shit; whatever... hmm...#you'd fucking hate Eeyore; you say you'd like him; but I'm telling you that people can't fucking accept someone being a bit morose#you'd bother him to cheer up; you say you'd accept him; but I'm saying you wouldn't#and I'm saying you wouldn't cause no one can just let me say shit that's on my mind without making a big deal out of it#like at what point do I earn the right to not have to fix myself on top of all the other shit I'm trying to fix?#at what point does taking practical actions to try and improve my situation make up for me saying gloomy shit sometimes?#whatever... doesn't matter#if there's one thing I've learned in life it's that people care very much; and they're fucking horrible at actually supporting people#most people want to very much and suck very badly at it; in part cause they can't just sit with someone; they're always trying to fix thing#mm tag so i can find things later
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