#is this show worth all my time and effort????
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Discipline is the prescription for hotness
Discipline is the reason I look the way I do—period. People always want to know the ‘secret’ to getting their dream body, and honestly, it’s not a secret. It’s self-discipline. It’s showing up for yourself every single day, even when you don’t feel like it.
I don’t skip workouts because I’m tired. I don’t binge on junk food because I’m stressed. I’ve learned to control my cravings, prioritize my health, and stay consistent with my goals. Is it easy? No. But is it worth it? Absolutely.
The truth is, your dream body isn’t going to appear overnight. It takes time. It takes effort. It takes saying no when everyone else is saying yes. But here’s the thing: I don’t feel deprived—I feel powerful. Every workout, every healthy meal, every disciplined choice is proof that I’m in control of my life and my results.
When I look in the mirror now, I see the payoff. I see the body I’ve worked for, not just physically but mentally. Because self-discipline isn’t just about looking good; it’s about building confidence, self-respect, and a mindset that says, ‘I can do anything I set my mind to.’
My dream body isn’t a goal anymore—it’s my reality. And it’s all thanks to one thing: self-discipline.
#leveling up#self care#level up journey#personal development#femininity#hypergamy#leveling up journey#level up#that girl#leveling up tips#leveled up woman#level up tips#glow up journey#glow up#glow up tips#high value heaux#high value dating#high value woman#light feminine#feminine aesthetic#feminine journey#femme fatale#hypergamous dating#dark feminine energy#looksmaxxing#girl blogger#clean girl aesthetic#clean girl#girl blog aesthetic#girl blogging
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Thank You For The Meal(Small Smite x Fem!Reader)
warnings: smut, oral sex(male receiving and fem receiving), Villain!All Might, insecurities, lewd content, cum swallowing, Small Smite word count: 1k pairings: Villain!All Might/Small Smite x Fem!Reader
dividers: @adornedwithlight
taglist: @thissaintjessi. @cherryblossombankai, @thestarsystemsworld @pixelcafe-network
He doesn’t really understand what you see in him. He’s not quite sure why you show him any kind of affection. You’re an angel in his eyes. You aren’t without your faults, you keep reminding him. But to him, you are pure perfection.
The way you’re so quick to help him clear his mind when he’s got the whole world on his shoulders. The way you help remind him of his worth. The way you always listen to him when he tells you the story of his life and what caused him to become this way.
Even now, on your knees for him…how the fuck can you look up at this skeletal man and think he’s sexy?
“Oh god,” he groans softly. “So fucking beautiful.”
His big hand cups your face, gently rubbing his thumb over your cheekbone. You’re eagerly stroking his hard cock, the one thing that he’s happy hasn’t changed since the injury. Toshinori knows his cock is big and even if he can’t always be in his muscular form, he knows that he can please you with his dick.
“Always such a pretty girl for me. You love my cock, don’t you?”
You look up at him with such a cute look in your eyes. You look like an innocent little angel, but he knows the truth. You’re naughty; a filthy woman who rivals even his own fantasies. You’re like everything he loves about sex wrapped up in the sweetest person he knows. It’s such a turn on for him to have you eagerly stroking him.
“Love your cock,” you whisper hotly. You lean in and lick the tip.
Smite moans loudly, reaching down to tangle his hand in your hair. You are going to be the death of him. Honestly, he wouldn’t even mind if he died this way. What a way to go…
You pull him from his thoughts by wrapping those pretty lips around the head of his cock. Smite grunts as he looks down at you. He’s about to buck his hips when you beat him to it by taking him down your throat. Seeing his cock disappear into your mouth has his knees buckling.
“Holy shit…” he hisses. “Holy fuckin’ shit baby.”
You try to giggle with your mouth full of cock, sending vibrations down his cock. He shudders and closes his eyes in fear of blowing his load too quickly. He swears you’re some sort of temptress sent from hell sometimes because of the way you easily get him to the peak.
“Take it easy on me,” he groans. “I’m an old man…”
You lightly slap him on the thigh as a way of saying ‘don’t talk about yourself that way’. You’ve warned him and begged him not to say such demeaning things about himself so many times. You adore him, despite the age gap. Toshinori is everything to you. Otherwise you wouldn’t be deepthroating his impressive cock right now.
He begins to pump his hips, moaning your name every time the head of his cock nestles in the back of your throat. You’re so good at not choking on it, though you’ve had a fair amount of training. He’s looking down at you now, his eyes full of lust and love. His fingers tangle in your hair, tugging you back and forth on his erection.
“Fuck I love watching you suck my cock,” he says with a grin. “You always look so fucking hot like this, baby.”
You reach up to begin massaging his heavy balls. By the way they are feeling, you can tell he’s been pent up. It’s not like you two get to see each other every single day, so you’re putting a lot of effort into this feeling so good for him. Smite growls, his legs shaking as he gets closer to that sweet release.
“Haaaah—fuck, baby girl, you’re gonna make me cum.”
You moan and swallow around him, making him tremble. He looks down at you and when your eyes lock, he can see only pure love for him in your eyes. It’s what sends him over the edge with a low growl of your name. His fingers tug on your hair harder, keeping you down on his cock as he spills deep down your throat.
When he releases you, you make a big show of sucking on the tip to get any remaining cum and swallowing it all. Then you stick out your tongue, proudly showing that you swallowed his entire load. Smite helps you to your feet, leaning down to kiss you deeply.
“Best fucking thing…” he grunts. “Such a good little cocksucker for me. Pretty baby girl is such a good cocksucker.”
He then picks you up, throwing you onto the bed with enough force to make your breasts bounce. He enjoys the way you so eagerly get in a lewd position for him. His hands come down to begin taking off your shirt. Then he nips at your neck, making you gasp.
“How about I return the favor, hm?” he suggests with an aroused tone to his voice. “I’ll lick that little pussy until you cum hard for me.”
Without another word, he begins to strip you. His hands feel like bliss on your skin, rubbing and caressing. When he spreads your thighs, your breath hitches in your throat. He smirks down at you, his eyes dark with need and lust.
“Look at this cute little pussy, just begging for a little attention…”
Smite leans in, blowing air on your wet pussy. Your clit twitches with need. You try to reach down to tug on his hair, but he’s quick to pin your wrists to your sides.
“Let me take care of you, baby.” Smite says in a teasing voice. “You took such good care of me, I know you’ll enjoy this.”
He nudges your thighs apart once more, grinning ferociously as he comes face to face with your went cunt. He’s going to tease you a little longer, but you know by the end of it, you’ll be a sticky, shaking mess.
“Ita-daki-masu.” Toshinori says in a mocking way before leaning in to lap at you.
reblogs and comments always appreciated!
©actuallysaiyan 2024– do not repost on other platforms, copy, translate or edit my works!
#bacon.writes#all might x you#all might smut#all might x reader#toshinori yagi x reader#toshinori yagi x you#toshinori x reader#toshinori x you#villain!all might#villain!all might x reader#all smite#all smite x reader#all smite x you#all smite smut#bnha#bnha toshinori#bnha x reader#small might#small smite
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Spiky (Beast Island)
My main thesis for She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is that it is a tragedy of repetition. The cycle of abuse, for example, is a big part of Catra’s dynamic with everyone around her. But that theme extends beyond the personal.
I’m talking about both symbolic and physical extensions here. The idea of abuse can be represented through the art and style of a story with coding and specific word choice. But it can also be shown off literally on a larger scale. That is where environment design comes in, and the scale of that is truly immense.
SPOILERS AHEAD: (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)
Beast Island was a dumping ground for first ones tech, mostly weaponry, but also a variety of other tools and ideas. I will get back to some stuff in particular, but I feel the need to establish the baseline that this place just looks weird.
That’s the point with this episode, the environment is hostile by definition. You get that through the unfamiliarity of not knowing what the ground is and what is a tree, but you also get it from the fact that everything is spiky and gloopy. This place looks unsafe to be.
However, let’s go back to the theme for a moment, because I think it works really well here.
This place looks both organic and artificial. Like a single living thing that has had stuff done to it to mess it up.
The cycle of abuse is presented here as second hand. The first ones were at war and in their attempts to save themselves, they abused this island for all it was worth, turning it into a prickly version of itself that wards off intruders. That island in turn became a place to hold someone else’s baggage and turned that into weapons of its own. The island is hostile to everyone because of abuse being done to someone else that it got caught up in. That’s the cycle.
The key here is that I don’t think this place was decided upon because it was of particular importance. I think the opposite was true. The first ones needed a place to send their failed weapons and Beast Island was convenient and out of the way for them. They didn’t think about it, it didn’t matter.
Zooming out to the real world for a moment, that’s often how the cycle of abuse happens. It’s not about the person on the receiving end, the giver just needed to vent and was too caught up in themselves to notice that other people were getting hurt.
This is exactly Catra and Scorpia’s dynamic in the show. Catra is in pain, and Scorpia is a convenient scapegoat.
This can even be extrapolated further to the island’s inhabitants. The children of the second generation abuse victim. The creatures that grew to survive in harsh conditions by being harsh in their own right. They got angry, they got vicious, they started picking fights, passing that trauma on to someone else. Keeping the cycle going.
We meet King Micah in this episode, and he is utterly disconnected from reality. He doesn’t know how much time has passed, and he plays into that of the exile going mad and eating bugs. Seriously, I don’t know what this trope is called and it’s driving me nuts.
The point is, Micah has been in that world of someone else’s abuse for so long that he has no sense of reality. But hold on to this thought.
Daniel Dae Kim everybody. The line where he realises how long he's been gone is stellar and one of the best line reads in the entire series as far as I am concerned.
One of the key moments in this episode then is the depressive efforts of the source. The heart of the island, the place where all the pain is stored.
And the closer you get to this heart, the worse you get. It is a piece of technology that was designed to limit the hope of those around it, to make them want to give up. It’s not a weapon designed to win; it’s designed to subdue.
There are two ways to read this. The first is that maybe the First Ones weren’t the good guys if they had a weapon for subjugation just lying around. But the other plays back into this cycle idea.
What if this was a way that the first ones tried to save themselves, by replicating the techniques of their abuser. By reflecting back that all is lost and they should just give up. But it failed.
But a weapon, once loaded, will always be used, eventually. That latent malice and energy went somewhere, specifically here. Once again, it was convenient, but it is a potent symbol of becoming exactly the kind of person who oppressed you.
Notice however that this place does have one weakness, hope. The thing that can pull you out of the heart’s embrace is hope that things will get better. Essentially, the abuse can be stopped by pointing out that it is founded in nonsense, which leads me back to Micah.
Micah has survived to this point through determination to see his daughter again. He has stayed sane; he has had a will to survive. He has had somewhere beyond the abuse to anchor himself to. When he realises his wife has died (I know she’s technically still alive but come on), he loses that, and he loses his hope. Grief is a demotivator. It’s a kick up the ass, but it teaches you to avoid things rather than go and do them.
Which leads me back to the environment, and to the Pookas.
The Pookas have survived in this place. They are spiky and unpleasant, yes, but they have survived just as well as if not better than Micah, and they have done that together.
The Pookas wear their abuse like a badge of honour, and they don’t direct it at each other. They hunt in packs and don’t squabble, instead they are silent, watching.
There is a theme with every creature in this place appearing as something and then revealing it's other features and I think that's really cool. The bush suddenly has eyes, the spider crab has hands, and the Pookas have their weird mouths, but they show that off immediately. They are up front with how they operate. "I am weird, I am broken, this is my damage."
These are weird creatures and I think they are partly synthetic, but they own that. The Pookas break the cycle something savage, and they do it as a group.
Essentially, the Pookas are a support group. They are victims together who can take comfort in each other. They find food together and support each other.
It's not the best method, considering that they hunt people, but it is a step towards healing.
And, for that matter, this step towards healing applies to the rest of the island. This place is alive. There is stuff to eat, there is life growing. Nature gets better, eventually.
That’s the theme of the series. Abuse is cyclical, but those cycles can be broken. You find people to help you, you find a place that is far away from the abuse, you bear your scars for the world to see and you channel your anger in a healthy way.
Final Thoughts
This is a shorter post for two reasons. The first is that I don’t have much time during the week in which I am writing this, but the second is that I really don’t like this episode.
Don’t get me wrong, Daniel Dae Kim kills this role and should be a joy to watch, if the dialogue wasn’t weird and if the conflict surrounding his daughter didn’t come across as contrived and if the tone seemed in any way intentional. Add to that the fact that, until the final scene, the animation that looks like it was made for a different, much lower budget show (why does swift wind have human facial expressions? He’s a horse!), and I had a really bad time rewatching this episode.
So, I focused on stuff I did like. I thought the Pookas were weirdly cute, and I devised a post to talk about that. This blog exists so I can challenge myself to get better, and sometimes that means scratching out a thousand words about Pookas, and that’s ok.
Next week, however, is Destiny Part 1, so stick around if that interests you.
#rants#literary analysis#literature analysis#what's so special about...?#character analysis#spop#she ra#she ra and the princesses of power#beast island#she ra king micah#king micah#Oh no he's hot!
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Fellas can you take this somewhere else. Maybe. Just not in the fucking halls. Thanks 🫡
I couldn't resist drawing out these tags I wrote on a dif post LMFAO
Moe just has...... SO many problems.......
Close-ups of my fave shots!
The elusive Líf...
#fire emblem#feh#i'm like. split between feeling proud of this and feeling So Over It LMFAOOOOOOO#which is why. lighting could be better. but i don't care enough to put in more work than i already have LMFAOO#LIKE... ONE COOL PART is this could be my first fully colored comic piece w completely original dialogue???#where like. i didn't quit at any point of it. EXCEPT. skimping on the backgrounds. but again. more effort than i'm willing to put in#but i think it still counts bc my only real plan was to have the askr pillars/walls as framing/backdrops#ALSO the characterization... in the panel where lif walks into frame. it's SO fun to me#they both look at lif. but moe is Not subtle about it. looking directly at him. while alfonse side-eyes him.#and the most IMPORTANT detail. is that alfonse and lif are making the same kind of face. like 🤨#there is SO MUCH POTENTIAL. in alfonse and lif sharing facial expressions. in having the same knee-jerk reactions to things.#and it's espppp fun to figure out bc you're only working w half of lif's face. it's all in the eyes/brows and SOMETIMES!#SOMETIMES!!!! it's in the nose! in this illust he is more relaxed/resting so you don't see it here#but i'm TELLING you. adding some scrunch to the nose can add soooo much expression-wise#this took longer than i expected it to. also. which is why i'm so over it LMFAOO#but i do think the extra time was worth it... first run of the last panel was too lighthearted/jokey#capturing some conflict between moe/alfonse was the right choice. in how intensely this starts off (tonally)#AND! in showing how they do butt heads at times. in fact sometimes they clash REALLY badly!!!!#which is actually so huge bc i've wanted to capture this since the beginning. how they're so similar but also so opposite#that a lot of times! they understand each other deeply and cover each other's basis. HOWEVER.....#other times. it's just catastrophic. like it isn't That intense here but you can probably see how it goes horribly wrong.#i am... always thinking about it.... and only occasionally stressing myself out about it LMFAOOO#fe alfonse#fe lif#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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(re-ish)watching ncis in 2023 is like came for the murder and crime solving, stayed for the absolutely unhinged tiva plotline
#zanna talks#ncis you beautiful mess of a show#like yeah it's blatantly nationalistic and Very post9/11 and us military propaganda#it likes to be misogynistic and xenophobic and try to play it as a joke#sometimes gibbs will do things that make me feel ill#and also it looooves praising cops and idolizing the maverick mentality and villifying defense lawyers#um point being it's got a lot of flaws and if i hadn't associated it with childhood nostalgia i'm not sure i could have made it far enough#in my rewatch to hit the point where it actually feels worth it past being a good distraction when i feel bad#like the point where you watch tony really start to grow and the plotlines get better and the relationships deepen etc#but man when it hits it hits#wild to watch it as an adult and realize actually the tiva stuff was there all along with effort put in and it wasnt just me making it up#75% of the time theyre just sniping at each other and being annoying coworkers but sometimes they give u a glimpse#not just of how good thye are as a dynamic but just the mcrt in general?#tony burning the letter from jeanne and trying to let go after realizing his team is like his family??#them being the ones to get ziva out of somalia and not her shitty bio dad and sticking up for her when she wants out???#them always believing in each other when they get framed ?? thanksgiving together??#coworkers as family is highly unrealistic in this day and age and maybe just in general but im willing to allow it bc man. they care.#sorry this got. away from me. what was i even talking about#ncis
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😮💨
[sorry for the hardcore tag rants, y'all]
#more than a little exhausted by certain things#no stability anywhere in life#not in work or family or even friends#would settle for literally just one single shred of continuity and reliance#one single piece of my life I can count on to be there for me and reliable and safe#just a shred of something or someone being there for me in the long run#work has proven garbage#family is so fucking volatile it might as well be an unhandled explosive#and the very few threads of friendship I've found and thought were worth the time and effort to strengthen have just#left me abandoned or floundering doing either all the work to be left behind or what I can to be uncounted for#either nothing or not enough and not counted for in the long run#because apparently my friendship is just as forgettable or easily disregarded as every other part of me#or at least that's how it definitely fuckin feels#and I'm So Spooked when it comes to making friends!#I'm scared to connect with people who actually seem genuinely interested in getting to know me and talk to me!#and that sucks bc I want to get to know them but everyone else seemed interested at first too and then a few months later!#they're just as hard to get in touch with as everyone else who turns away!#I don't want to annoy anyone or be too much anymore#I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt like a big giant fucking baby!#i know it's mostly on me and managing shit but it still just. sucks ASS.#I don't wanr to be scared to make friends because people abandon me#I don't want to run people off#I want to be better and have better because I know I deserve it#sorry for ranting I'm just. incredibly jacked up about some more recent stuff bc it brought up long term stuff#i am not immune to hating myself bc of bad friends#anyway yeah sorry i am done grambling#grant grumbles#grambling is my new grant grumbles extra#also to you amazing guys who are so full of love (myccc and hack!!!!!) ily tons and you bring me life#i am trying to be just as cool and worthy as you both!!!! please don't ever leave me! you keep me going even if I don't show it well!!!
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:(
Very bad grade in therapy today
#thought i could make progress this year and yet here i am having done jack shit by now#what has even been the point#i just wanted to do something today that didnt feel awful like try to encourage people to watch a show or play a game#and now im just right back to Why do i bother staying alive? im never going to make any progress#and even if i do I'm going to just be worthless the whole time and waste precious resources others could be using#oh yes just try saying a nice thing to yourself for once! yeah sure that will help when i cant do anything worth a damn#i want to help people but i have no skillsets and no money to further my education and teaching myself gets me right where i already am!#continuing like this is like spitting in the face of anyone who is actually out there pursuing their dreams and thats not fair to them#they put in all that hard work and im over here being a whiny ass bitch bc i want so badly to do better and learn more#but the only thing holding me back is that im a dumbass who cant do anything right and no one will ever think differently#why am i trying to make myself something i can never be? what is goddamn point if its just a waste of everyones time and effort#i just... it feels like the least i can do is just stop taking up space#free up some oxygen for someone who really needs it and shelter for someone who truly deserves it#i shouldnt even have these things and yet i complain about how much gas i have to pay to commute to my jobs#like such an asshole#and i said i so much in these tags bc im such a selfish jerk who coearly doesnt care enough nor has a worthwhile vocabulary to say otherwise#theres just no fucking point to any of this#...#its cold today#might be a good day to do my favorite plan#actually yeah fuck it im gonna go#hope you all stay kind to yourselves and enjoy your 2024#you absolutely deserve it and everything you can get out of it#keep being amazing yall#see you on the flip side or whatever#orbs thought bubbles
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so much of "my roommate is a cat" hinges on the fact that subaru is autistic i forget that's not an actual canon thing. like genuinely i don't know how someone can understand the show if they don't understand subaru.
#i love my roommate is a cat it's the ultimate soft cozy comfort show#and one of the best autism-''representation'' shows#yeah subaru is autistic (and likely socially anxious) and the series is about him breaking out of his shell and making friends#but the narrative is so enormously empathetic towards him#it's not about ''needing to make friends so you can fit into society better and not be a loner outcast''#it's ''making friends is so hard (esp. if you're autistic) and it might be more appealing to just Not but human connection is so worth it''#''people will care about you. people do care about you as you already are.''#''yes it's on you to put in the effort and you will stumble but the benefits far outweigh them''#''cats are so cool''#astra rambles#personal#subaru mikazuki top five characters of all time.#everyone watch my roommate is a cat this is an order /hj
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"haney why you don't like watching movies you're missing out sm" you see, first, my brain is actually held together by a few loose screws and a string. second, I am scared of the moving image. hope this explains
#patxt#watching a movie or a show always ends up with me being more or less unwell and I am a big fan of actually being grounded so.#just not worth the effort okay. I am aware I am missing out on so so so much good stuff tho 😭#watching am action movie and seeing people die is like frying my brain on a heated pan omlette style fml#and then i also have autism and movies are so fucking over stimulating there's just like. too much. of everyhring#I watch a movie from time to time tho >:) when I feel like I'll be able to hsndla all that
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..
#all you wanna do is cook dinner for people and it has to be a goddamn ordeal#tbd it has been a long chronically ill day with poor communication from the household and friends#and now i wish i hadn't spent the money on lamb chops for tonight and gumbo ingredients for tomorrow#because god forbid it not all perfectly align with the schedules of the household and god forbid people not be clear in their communication#id have made something else entirely if I'd known I'd have been the only one eating tonight i wouldn't have gone to the shops#id have made pantry pasta and bought some cheap wine at most and reconsidered how much i wanted to invest in Mardi gras#but now ive spent the money and tentatively invited people half of whom likely wont show and based on tonight#im not even sure its worth the effort because with my luck by the time its all made no one will be interested or show up
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and so it happens once more
#i love my work. dont get me wrong#but they have the same problem as any other nonprofit ever. and even some for profits actually#they cant turn away ppl that pay them big money to keep running their business#it happened at the last shelter it happens here#board members and big donors are god i get it#but we cant sacrifice what this place means for that <- would be what they say in movies#because you can. you do.#all the time!#you have your morals and mission statements but in the end you cant do any of it without donations#and good public reputation#and when you make an enemy of someone who is a donor or board member or prolific person in the community#you lose everything#you lose your reputation your funding your ability to do what it is youre doing#im just so pissed#i knew it wouldnt be different but i wanted it to be#this time its a board member / donor / landlord for our fucking outreach program#they took in a stray kitten (which is fine-ish not great but its okay since theyre practically an employee)#they scheduled an appt for preventatives and intake which is what we always do to make sure theyre not dying#then they never showed up for it#then they complained about diarrhea but still didnt make any effort to make it here#then the week. the 7 day long period that we are moving. they finally can bring the kitten in#she is in the worst shape ive seen in a while#raw butt from diarrhea. URI and third eyelids swollen. cant hardly walk bc her ass hurts too bad. leaking shit. covered in fleas#she is in more pain than cats we've gotten that were hit by cars#and she was with a FOSTER. a BOARD MEMBER FOSTER.#im so pissed off#all of us are and we dont know what to say#she looks like she was found stuck in a sewer full of her own shit for a week she looks like death#im torn between euth with her because i dont know if the recovery she'll need will be worth the pain#shelter posting
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genuinely it is difficult having cultivated the like. taste in fiction that i have now that i am in a place where i'm trying to talk to people more and make friends and so on and so forth and this is the field i'm having to play on with them. i don't think anyone has to be critic-brained (i do think its good to recognize that media is Authored and to look at things with both eyes open but some people simply enjoy things in other ways and i may get irritated by that but i don't suppose its Wrong) and i have in fact met people who Will meet me in that field but it doesnt change that the field i like to play in is much different and no one is expected to meet me there in the same way i am expected to play ball with marvel fans
#i find criticism and critique allows me a way into that field actually because i do not care for marvel#but if i try to pick it apart and see what its doing i can at least Converse with people about something#but its like. idk. thats an effort i make to talk to people and i dont find people do the same thing for me#and i dont really feel like its fair for me to ask either. in some ways that is me being silly and embarrassed and shy and all that#but in other ways its like well im not going to tell the most normal people i know to read flower that bloomed nowhere with me.#it gives people the impression that i live under a rock! i dont think i live under a rock i know about lots of stuff#its just different stuff and i dont usually talk without prompting and i find it hard to talk about something#if i think the other person wont know about it and ill have to explain it to them and hope maybe they look into it#i have looked into things for other people. i don't find people usually do that for me#there are even situations USUALLY with my mother if im being honest where she will take recommendations seriously#from genuinely everyone BUT me even watching things she'd normally never touch and its like Okay .#...#ive been having a hard week. its probably going to get harder as well (i go back to work tomorrow and i wasted my time off#being in pain and miserable and not being a presence in my own life)#and there is something about showing up to work with worse sh scars than usual and belt bruises on my neck#keeping my head down and not saying anything and having no one say anything to me at all that makes me feel. i dont know#how to word it. had a little breakdown alone in my* room yesterday and found myself sobbing 'help me' a lot#and maybe thats the root of it. i dont feel like people try for me the way i have been trying and it makes me feel like i am not worth#making the effort for. and i also dont know how to express this or ask for help without looking like a brat </3 so#anyway. ignore all that please thats embarrassing.
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Sometimes you have something that you could say, that you think about saying, that you more or less know how you'd phrase it... but it's just not fucking worth it cause you know for a fact that people don't fucking listen
I don't know, I try to stay... if not optimistic then at least with a mind set of "doesn't matter, we've got no choice but to try and make things better"
Truthfully though I think I'm extremely pessimistic when it comes to the chances of anyone actually listening to what I say
I'm not sure if I'm just bad with words but... it seems impossible to convey even simple thoughts to people so... truthfully I've more or less given up and have just stopped trying. Especially if I don't at least know people well
So there it is
#like I could have said this; and I could have said that; and... hmm... I just don't think I would have succeeded in conveying that like...#I'm actually on your side man; I'm in your corner on this#I think you might be tilting at windmills here#but it's not fucking worth it anymore cause history shows me I'd either get no response or one that missed every word I said#and... I just give up... with everything#I don't want to say no one listens because that goes too far; but even with people I like very few people feel like they listen#people I adore where it's like... I'm not sure how you don't get that I can't 'move out' of my house cause... it's my house; like I own it#it's a question of telling someone else they have to leave; but like... I ain't leaving my home... this is mine#and... I don't understand how... this is like the 3rd or 4th time I've had to explain this; and it doesn't add up to me#cause this is someone that's brilliant that I know cares about me#...so I'm mostly confused... and a bit sad and hurt... but mostly I just don't get what I'm doing wrong in communicating#but if that's how I feel about someone I'm close to; how do you think I feel about strangers?#I don't understand what it takes to get people to listen#and like... there's a chance they would have; there's a chance they would have been super receptive#it's just... it's no longer worth the effort to me#it's not worth the effort on a chance; and perhaps I do them a real disservice; and perhaps I do the next person one too#but... there's too many people I run into these days where I'm right and so... I don't know; kinda am closed off at this point#or something; fuck it; doesn't matter#also you people worry too much about me just saying what's on my mind#whatever the fuck I may say here... ain't I cleaning and shit; whatever... hmm...#you'd fucking hate Eeyore; you say you'd like him; but I'm telling you that people can't fucking accept someone being a bit morose#you'd bother him to cheer up; you say you'd accept him; but I'm saying you wouldn't#and I'm saying you wouldn't cause no one can just let me say shit that's on my mind without making a big deal out of it#like at what point do I earn the right to not have to fix myself on top of all the other shit I'm trying to fix?#at what point does taking practical actions to try and improve my situation make up for me saying gloomy shit sometimes?#whatever... doesn't matter#if there's one thing I've learned in life it's that people care very much; and they're fucking horrible at actually supporting people#most people want to very much and suck very badly at it; in part cause they can't just sit with someone; they're always trying to fix thing#mm tag so i can find things later
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Someone asked me if I take constructive criticism on one of my posts, so I told them I do if they reblog my post and say within the it the reasons why I am wrong. It's been about two days and they haven't replied yet. :/
#rambles#the main reason why is primarily because debates within the replies is extremely annoying#there's not enough characters to get a decent answer out addressing all points#that and like....#the fact that they're going to confine their reasonings as to why i'm wrong to the replies shows that like.....#they dont see the point in fully explaining why i'm wrong. they're not going to back it up with logic and evidence#it's really easy to point fault#it takes way more time and effort to defend yourself than to point fault#it's really lazy thinking#and it's done more to paint someone as the fool#don't ever argue with these kinds of people. they're not worth your time#but i also gave them that response because like...#i don't believe people have the right to debate if they don't put their name behind it#if they're just gonna hide in the replies that shows they're not confident enough to stand behind what they say#why waste my time with that?#it's insulting and demeaning to me to put up with such lazy and weak arguments#i wish people realized tho that me telling them to put their name behind what they say like...#puts me in the same level of precarious situation as them#i give them the ability to prove me wrong on my blog... one that has a decent amount of followers#technically i have more to lose#also i am not mean... as long as you dont give me attitude it's not like i'm going to humiliate or mock you#why cant we just have a debate and discuss to our heart's content?
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jealousy, jealousy...
- nanami kento x reader
your husband seems to be immune to jealousy, and you've pretty much convinced yourself that he just doesn't have it in him... or does he?
genre/warnings: crack, fluff, jealous!nanami (he is in denial), implied suggestive content, mentions of pregnancy, gojo cameo (i just can't pass up the chance of him annoying the heck out of nanami ahaha)
note: based on this ask, this is a little continuation to the secret wife! and this is in the same universe as love entries so gojo is married to the love entries reader! :)
general masterlist
By all means, Nanami Kento is not a jealous man.
He knows his worth. And he knows you. Out of all people, you wouldn't try anything with anyone.
Even more so with Ino. He knows him too, and there is just no way.
So... he really shouldn't get riled up, especially when it was his shitty senior who tried to set him on fire—
"It's still beyond me, how you managed to bag her," Gojo remarked with a bark of snort. Both of them shared the same table in this high-end bar, an afterparty for the school's graduation, but Nanami was seriously considering to move after Yaga left earlier until this clown came. "And keep her a secret too. I mean, that's so foul! If I were your wife, I'd divorce you on the spot."
Nanami threw him a pointed look. "The feeling is mutual. I feel bad for her for putting up with you too. And please don't be gross and say things like you being my wife. It's appalling."
Gojo's wife being his close friend and former classmate was what foul, Nanami thought. Sure, he would acknowledge Gojo's relentless efforts, but still, anyone willing to be this shameless paintbrush's wife must lead a really daring life.
The strongest sorcerer rolled his eyes. "Nah, I'll have you know that my married life is full of bliss. I have a proof, look at my—"
"If you want to show me hickeys, I'll seriously report you for harassing me."
And to that, Gojo merely whined and pursed his lips, and Nanami finally had some peace. He really entertained the thought of going back, because Gojo wasn't exactly a fun company, and this was getting late, until…
"Hey, Ino—the one who always follows you around," Gojo suddenly said. "Whoa, you're letting him close to your wife too, huh?"
Nanami whipped his head to where you were, and true to what Gojo said, you were indeed there, talking animatedly to his junior.
You were all smiles, and Ino was every bit as excited as you were. There was nothing remotely wrong with how you were conversing. You two looked like a pair of really, really good friends.
Ever since word of your marriage got out and became common knowledge, you've been receiving the kind of attention that Nanami wasn't sure he preferred. While he hadn't intended to keep it a secret, he certainly felt that a more private life was preferable.
But the thing was… weren't you too close with him? If it were up to him, Ino could've had at least two steps back. What were you discussing anyway?
"You're a lax husband, Nanamin, heh," Gojo whistled, totally grinning because he won this fight. "I know you probably think it's harmless, but a puppy is still a dog, you know~"
A puppy... is what?
That night, that phrase was what going through in his mind over and over as he chugged down his drinks.
No way, no way... It must have been because he had too much to drink. He couldn't possibly!
The next time he felt that unpleasant feeling, it was on one night, at the comfort of your home.
Both of you had just finished watching a movie, still lounging on the sofa. You were blissfully humming, texting away on your phone at—Nanami looked at the clock—11 p.m.
Now, now, he wasn't one who would be checking your phone or such, but he couldn't deny the curiosity within him, because you weren't usually texting anyone this late at night.
"Hehe~" suddenly, you giggled and Nanami glanced at you in wonder. You seemed to be having fun.
Who... are you texting?
Despite telling himself he wouldn't meddle in your affairs, he gruffly cleared his throat. "Dear, it's late."
"Oh?" you whipped your head to him. "Oh, yeah..."
You were genuinely confused, your husband was folding his face as if he was sour of something. "Kento? What's wrong?"
But suddenly, his face lit up into a smile, kind of forced though. "Ah, nothing..." And suddenly he lifted you up from the sofa, making you almost yelp as you dropped your phone and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Time for bed."
However, what you didn't realize was that your phone's screen lit up just as the sender replied to your message, and Nanami caught a glimpse of it.
Ino.
A puppy is still a dog, you know~
The heck?
"Kento?" you asked again, and he immediately turned to you, unable to read the message. Still, his mind was reeling in many ways, and when he looked into your innocent, round eyes, suddenly he clicked his tongue, eyes slitting in dissatisfaction.
"Time for bed, dear."
Long story short, that night, your husband was somehow a little more aggressive than usual... even as he fondled you ever so softly at the end.
The third time, Nanami had enough.
He had just finished a mission when he got that call from Ino, informing him that you were at a clinic after nearly passing out.
Out of anyone else... how could you not call him first?!
He may be vexed, but worry was what clouded his mind the most. You were almost five months pregnant now, and to have this happening to you—
He walked in to find you lying on the small bed, your eyes lighting up when you saw him. "Kento..."
"What happened to you? Why didn't you call me?" his voice was rough, and your smile fell. You felt him gripping your hand tightly. "How can you—"
Ino, sensing his apprehension, suddenly intervened, "Uh, Nanami-san, it's not—"
Nanami turned to him sharply, causing him to gulp.
"We were... in a bakery when Y/N-san suddenly felt faint," the younger man explained. "Please don't be too hard on her."
"And why are you with my wife in broad daylight?"
"Kento, it's not what it looks like!" you squeezed his hand urgently. "We were just... trying to find a cake, you know..."
"...what?"
And that day, everything Nanami thought he knew was turned on its axis. Perhaps, if he wasn't thinking too much—if Gojo's words hadn't taken his mind, he wouldn't jump into conclusions this easily.
Your first wedding anniversary was just in a couple of weeks, and you had enlisted in Ino's help to find this one bakery that he swore sold only the best goods. Your texts to each other were solely about that—nothing more, nothing less.
"Aww, Kento~" you cooed as Nanami helped you into your shared bed once you got back home. "You got jealous, it's cute, and I'm happy~"
He huffed. "I was not jealous."
"Ehh, didn't look like that to me though~"
"Listen," he said, taking hold of your shoulders once he had seated you on the bed, looking straight into your eyes. "From now on, whatever you do... you have to contact me first, alright?"
"Oh—?"
"When you need something, when you don't feel well, when you feel like you might be in some kind of danger..." his tone was serious, emphasizing each word. "You have to reach out to me first. You don't go to Ino, Gojo, or anyone else—me. You go to me. I'm your husband, and I intend to fulfill that role well for you."
And he placed a hand on your tummy, gently caressing it. "And of course the father role for the baby too."
You clamped up, totally speechless. This unexpected development made your heart soar with a heap of giddiness.
"Yes!" Your smile was so wide and radiant that Nanami was sure he had started to blush too. Then you flung yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug. "And you know... you're already the best husband and soon-to-be father ever! So you don't have anything to worry about, okay?"
Ah, how nice. Nanami chuckled as he placed his hand on the small of your back.
"Mhm, and from now on, I'll take charge of our anniversary. You only have to take it easy, alright?"
And when you giggled, he thought having you in his embrace like this was enough to satisfy him—after all, he was a simple man.
Epilogue
"I know even Nanami gets jealous! Heh, heh, heh~"
Gojo laughed crisply, and Shoko snorted as they listened to Ino recount the story, with the latter scratching his head uncomfortably.
"I really didn't mean anything, and now I feel kinda bad," the younger man said, his head dropping. "Nanami-san seemed upset too..."
"Not many things can get under his skin," Shoko remarked. "I really thought he'd be more rational, but having an expecting wife must've taken quite a toll on him too."
"Nah, don't find more excuses, Shoko! Now is time to pay up~!"
As Shoko grumbled and Ino was lost in his own thoughts, a loud cough suddenly echoed behind them.
"Gojo-san... Ieiri-san..." Nanami leveled his unamused gaze on them, his glasses glinting in the light, causing the two gulp. "What are you two doing?"
#nanami kento x reader#jjk fluff#nanami x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x reader fluff#kento nanami x reader#nanami x reader fluff#nanami kento#kento x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#nanami kento fluff#kento nanami#kento nanami x you#nanami fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk imagines#jjk drabbles#nanami x you
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Imagine the overbloat gang as fathers or like proud/panicking that their s/o is having a child and they don't know what to do
Imagine the gang trying to give their kids a goid life and getting baby fever like who wouldn't because the kid is literally a mixed of him and you and they gush about how much they love their s/o and children like ???????
Overbload gang as fathers and i will start violently sob
I do have a weakness for familial headcanons :) future au time??
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ as fathers
type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, jamil, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral (no mentions of the child's origins), reader is not specified to be yuu, obviously takes place in the future
I think Riddle is one of the most reluctant to have children
for years he was strictly against them. his excuses were always that children are messy, unruly, his career, his relationship with you... but he was mostly just afraid of turning into his mother
as he gets older and forms his own identity, though, he realizes that it takes a lot of intentional effort to fuck up a child like his mom did, and he changes his mind
I can see him with... maybe two kids
he would never want an only child. after all, the bonds he made with his peers are what kept him going
he is a pretty good parent overall. maybe a little to focused on bedtimes and table manners, but the kids don't seem to mind
Trey and Che'nya babysit often (and it's always disastrous)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
talking Leona into the idea of fatherhood is like diffusing a bomb with a blindfold on. the guy won't even JOKE about it
if you do end up with a kid, it's unplanned, whether that be pregnancy or baby left on the doorstep
but he makes a surprisingly(?) good father. defo a girl dad, he would spoil a daughter rotten. lets her beat the daylights out of Neji because that's his little princess :)
parenting is really not as scary as he thought it was going to be
he has "I'm just resting my eyes" *falls asleep for 8 hours on the reclining chair in the living room* dad energy
the hardest part?
pretending to like vegetables in front of the kid to set a good example
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Azul would actually be an awesome dad idc. IDC!
he has a good relationship with his mom and stepdad (who definitely babysit all the time; they insist on it), so he has good role models
he's not even worried about how it'll affect his career! Azul has a "do it all" personality: businessman, entrepreneur, father, aspiring millionaire...
and he is so overprotective
he'd cover that kid in bubble wrap if you'd let him
but he's really more concerned about their feelings. sending them to school is much harder than closing a business deal
he's a little sensitive, but he knows he'll have to trust them eventually
P.S. the tweels are NOT allowed to babysit. bad influences
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Jamil. ohhh Jamil :(
kids were never on the table for him, even after he met you and fell in love, he just... couldn't imagine it
regardless of whether or not he and his family are in a better place. (for the sake of this story, let's pretend they are. I want him to be happy) he just has so much generational trauma that he knows the child will end up with some, anyway
when, if, he's ready, it will still be a tough process. but worth it
he's such a supportive dad. bragging about his child at any chance, definitely the kind of dad to show everyone the baby pictures without being asked
it gets embarrassing for them as they grow, but he doesn't care
he thinks they're the greatest thing ever, and people should know that!
he is so proud
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Vil had always wanted to play a father on screen, but once he hits that age, he starts thinking about real life, too
he's gotten where he wants to be, after all: he's still young, he's in love, and his career, as successful as it is, is starting to wind down. so, why not?
he is the most supportive partner you could ask for. despite his schedule, he's involved in everything (yes, even the messy stuff)
he's got a customized baby bjorn and everything
I can see him with... one. just one is enough for him. he also has girl dad energy. he's already looking forward to playing princesses and letting her do his makeup (terribly, of course)
he knows his child will grow to have their own wants and thoughts and personality, and he's supportive. besides, if he has another Epel on his hands, he'll know how to handle them
just... gentler, this time
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
for you, anon, I will enterain the idea that Idia may someday reproduce. but there's still a 50% chance that kid is a robot
joking (kind of)
I don't think he'd even really want kids. considering his own unhappy childhood and the whole curse of his bloodline thing. but, like the others, he can be convinced!
I think he'd make a pretty good father, tbh. neurotic, sure, but he's not too clingy, nor too distant
whatever kids he has will be smart, and he trusts them. he likes teaching them nerdy stuff, too (finally, someone he can infodump to!!!)
he probably ends up with more than he'd think. 2 or 3
as long as you never bring up how cringe he was in college, he's rather mature and prepared for anything
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
out of the whole lineup, Malleus is the the only one to have thought your future children while at NRC. daydreamed, really
I know, not surprising. look at the guy. he's practically kicking his legs back and forth while coming up with baby names in game
it was just a fantasy at first, then you became closer, graduated, got older, and...
Lilia began teasing him about getting grandkids, and Malleus took him quite seriously
he knows he's still young (though, at his age, Lilia was already general), but he doesn't want to wait forever. you both have many long talks on the matter
and end up with... as many children as you can handle, basically
Malleus is somewhat of an awkward father (having been raised by Lilia will do that to you)
but he cares. and he tries! very hard. plus, there's always Lilia, Silver, and Sebek around to lend a hand
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#queued#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jamil viper x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader
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