#is that the feminism you were talking about?

[glypt0don]

So, this is quite a rant. You can skip to the bottom, if you want to know my opinion but don't want to read that much... But I worked hard on it and I think it's important, so it would make me very happy if you read through the whole text.

So this fits into something I wanted to post about anyway: a broader theme of why do we frame things as wars? Like, why is it culture war, specifically. First I liked the concept, I thought it described something quite complicated reasonably easily. But I pondered on it a bit more and I think there's more going on.

It's pretty trivial, that most societies went through a huge change over the last half century. It's not just feminism. I could make a whole list of things we as a people took on. Anti-racism and civil rights, religious acceptance, global trade, reinterpreting the meaning of peace, connecting the word through the world-wide web, etc. We ( or, as I am barely an adult and have no idea how to change things for the better, I should say you, or maybe chat) decided it was time for change, so change came. You brought it about.

And I agree. Change WAS and IS necessary. What that change should entail, well, we all have our ideas, right? And they have the ugly tendency to differ from each other. The question then is, how do we coincide our contradictory ideas on society? The answer is both worrying and very important.

To be fair, our race doesn't have a great track record on solving these kinds of issues. I dug into my historical knowledge, since, you know, those who don't learn from it, repeat it... The only thing I can compare to what's happening today would be the Reformation (which probably says a lot about my historical knowledge). That's the only time I know, where societal assumptions were altered so much in such a short time. That time it was specifically about the Catholic church (if you don't know, what I'm talking about, you really should, so Google it), and the result was a series of wars, that ultimately may have wiped out about a fifth of Europes population. The wars were of course led by powerful men, who capitalised on the divide to further their own goals.

As back then, now too, we can't rely on institutions to tame the public. Many media and political identities have a direct interest in polarising society. Because that's what happens. All these contentious issues about gender, class, or foreign policy become dividing lines between folks who are supposed to be parts of the same whole (call it community, state, nation or humanity, depending on how wide you can think). You know, how it works, probably saw it a few times, whatever your interests are. It's literally everywhere! We fight it out with the perceived enemy of the week sometimes, when there is an election, something notable happens, or it's simply Pride Month. Then everyone goes back to their respective corners, where they vehemently agree with themselves. We don't talk a lot, just throw words at each other, like Buggs Bunny, playing tennis with a dynamite.

I should say, this post is a notable and refreshing outlier. Thanks, @trans-androgyne , for starting a discussion for a change!

I know, it's a bit like nuclear armament. You can't just stop, because THEY won't, and then they win, and you can't allow that. It's life and death! And I don't have some magic pill to make it all go right, or believe me, I wouldn't sit here, typing this out at 3 in the morning Central European Time. But let me propose this: don't call it a war! Neither culture war, nor gender war, nor anything like that. Because this isn't a war. Just ask anyone in the middle east! They can tell you, what is war, and THIS IS NOT IT! And also, because it may not be guns and destruction yet, but nothing guarantees, that it stays that way. We already had multiple attempted takeovers of capital buildings since this cursed decade began, because our social reality became so fragmented, that you can't accept the results of a popular election anymore. That should raise alarm bells. I know it does, but it can be much worse! Learn from history, do not repeat it! Hit the Wiki page on the Huguenot war! On the siege of Magdeburg. Or, if that's not your cup of tea, watch Civil War! I genuinely think it's the best movie of the year.

Call it Social Discourse! That sounds much more manageable, doesn't it? Or you can come up with something else, as long as it isn't some warmongering bullshit. And maybe the next time you meet someone with sexist, homophobic, racist, or maybe radical left and anarchistic views (whatever you're opposing), don't attack them with your words! Those aren't weapons. Try to talk to them instead! Try talking about feelings! Listen to theirs, make them understand yours! I say feelings, because you both have those. Try finding a common ground, however small, and build up from there. Like Minecraft Skyblock. It can be hard in a challenging way, instead of making you want to shoot yourself in the head. Remember, you aren't fighting a war. You are having a discourse.

All of it is to say, the world and society are changing, wether you like it or not, and we have to change with it, to survive. That is the simple fact. If you call that change a war, that's just gonna make the whole thing unnecessarily painful for everyone involved.

This was sociopolitical advice from a giant armadillo.

Genuinely, what happened to “feminism is for everyone”?

That’s the feminism I grew up with: encouraging people to recognize that fighting sexism and restrictive gender roles helps folks of every gender. We’d push back on the idea that feminists hate men, pointing to inclusive feminist literature and how many men are feminists.

Now, there are so many people insisting that the solution to patriarchy is to openly hate and ostracize men no matter what. Why? What is the benefit? It’s certainly not effective in fighting oppressive structures to exclude half the population from your cause on the basis of immutable traits. It may feel cathartic to say horrible things about men and try to punish them for your frustrations with patriarchy. But the only actual effect I see is the increasing right-wing radicalization of young men, who are being told that the left hates them for the way they were born and presented with an abundance of proof that it’s true.

Why are we going back to treating men and women as different species? It doesn’t fix things to say “well women are the good gender and men are the bad one” this time. If you sincerely want to dismantle sexism, you’re going to have to unpack and let go of all sex and gender essentialism—even that which considers women inherently pure and men inherently immoral.

[zot3-flopped]

So i kinda need to talk about something. I recently saw swifties on twitter be upset that charli gets attention as well as sabrina and olivia. Let me be clear about this: swifties hate charli because she has hit the zeitgeist of the current youth because the last time taylor did that, it was during her 1989 era. They are jealous of sabrina because espresso did better than any song ts has put out (she needs remixes) and they deminish sabrina‘s talent by saying well ts gave her the eras tour opening act so she helped her. And the obvious hate for olivia is because olivia did better with her first album than ts with her first. They are the ones screaming feminism etc but when it comes to supporting other women they get mad that ts isn‘t the only woman around

mind you i also saw swifties yesterday claim that hozier hates women and is a capitalist. Only because a irish youtuber said he thinks hoziers songwriting is what people think taylor swift‘s is. A personal opinion. And they say he hates women when we know taylor does and hozier wrote songs about palestinian women and their rights. And a capitalist for what? Selling an album? Well then get a mirror and see what a swiftie is: a brainless zombie who ts only uses for money to sell her 30th version of an album that has only one song differently

Swifties feel deeply threatened by all these younger female artists so of course they're going to lash out. They were all shocked by how terrible the critic reviews for Poets were. Charli got mainly 5* reviews for Brat.

[snekdood]

Yknow what makes me reaentful? How ive been sexually abused so much growing up, no one did shit besides shove me off to a therapist, ive been promised by feminist spaces that ill have a place to heal within them, and as soon as my abusive ex tries to smear me and project their behavior on to me by accusing me of doing that shit too, all the sudden everyone acts suspicious, and i still dont get any of that promised healing. Its hard not to feel like my ex did this intentionally to prevent me from having a space to heal. And its my issue with the "believe victims" narrative because it seems to me like people dont actually want to believe victims but to believe the victims they *like* and *agree more with politically*. If people can just say whatever about someone and you feel obligated to believe them because "believe victims", its very clearly going to be exploited by abusive people, and while i dont think we should stop per se, we need to have some sort of actual system to vet who is and isnt telling the truth, like a pseudo-courtroom. At the very least let everyone and their side of the story actually be heard. Bc idk how you guys plan to believe two victims at once who are accusing eachother other than throwing your hands up and picking one or deciding that we're both bad, which doesnt seem very fair to me since people seem to looove demonizing me for no discernable reason.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

Male violence towards women is not motivated by "hatred" towards women. That is an oversimplification.

On whose part?

Are you claiming that the feminists and anyone else who makes that claim is wrong, or are you saying I'm oversimplying what you think feminists really claim?

Because if it's the latter, it's not exactly rare for feminists to explicitly blame abuse on misogyny.

is motivated by toxic masculinity and men not being taught by society to express emotions in healthy and positive ways.

Domestic violence centers are regularly criticized by people who talk about men's issues for supposedly being biased in women's favor and against men.

And leaving that aside, the first link goes

The perception of men is then seen as dominating, aggressive, and unemotional.

A perception feminism itself strongly contributes to. It regularly and explicitly genders abuse.

When society puts so much pressure on men to behave in an unconnected way, sometimes men can begin to normalize power and control as perpetrators. They can also then ignore or not recognize when they are victimized by domestic violence because from an early age males are taught to believe they should be able to handle physical and emotional abuse. Not having recognition of their own victimization can lead to non representation of male domestic violence victims.

Okay. How about the part where society goes "it's not REAL abuse when a woman does it?"

I feel the need to emphasize this, and be clear. Men are generally permitted to defend themselves from assault by other men. But much less so for women.

Men are more likely to be arrested and go to jail, even if they did not lay a finger on a female abuser, and were the one to call the cops. In many places, it's almost explicit police policy to assume the woman was "defending herself".

I have been in and seen extended discussions where people refused to admit a woman could actually pose a serious physical threat to a man, ever, and said anyone who discussed it was clearly just a sexist man who wanted an excuse to harm women.

Note that there were several women disagreeing in these discussions.

Apparently the idea that a woman could grab a weapon was a "hyper-specific edge case", even though I provided an example of a woman who stabbed her larger partner to death with a nail file.

That article is really missing - or ignoring - the single most important part about male victim erasure.

Strangely enough, when I see people discuss this issue in terms of "toxic masculinity", they seldom discuss the female privilege that leads to male abuse victims being erased,

I'm not sure why you thought this was supporting your case about "male violence against women".

Even if it wasn't just an opinion column.

Your second link's strapline says "Young men who subscribe to traditional ideals of manhood are more likely to sexually harass women and bully others."

And then it says,

The researchers surveyed 1,000 young men on their attitudes toward seven pillars of traditional manhood: self-sufficiency, toughness, physical attractiveness, rigid gender roles, heterosexuality and homophobia, hypersexuality, and aggression and control over women.

Except traditional masculinity is strongly against men sexually harassing women, and bullying.

Or hurting women even in self defense.

Also, the fact that you're equating "toxic masculinity" to "traditional, mainstream masculinity" does not actually make feminists look less misandric.

I spent almost my entire post talking about female abusers, and you conveniently managed to find two "sources" that, um, don't actually mention female abusers.

Not once.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[torahtot]

you can always tell when someone doesn't have maga men in their life and god it makes me angry.. "if you're nice and compassionate you can be the one woman that makes them realize women aren't mean!" my mom bent over backwards for my dad for 25 fucking years he has plenty of other women kissing his ass and it never changed anything. do you really think that before being radicalized they never knew a single kind woman? they were never friends with a nice girl? alt-right men's problem with women isn't just that they've experienced too many mean women and they need to be shown that women can be nice, it's that they think women are inferior and don't deserve rights and don't understand anything so you can do what you want with them. and it takes a lot more than being nice to show someone that you aren't inferior. this isn't a case of being nice even when it's hard for the sake of deradicalization, it's about spending every fucking interaction with someone trying to get them to see you as a human being with value and a functioning intellect while they just laugh and show you that's never going to happen.

i cannot stress this enough: random women are not just going out and Being Mean to men. ur average guy interacts with plenty of women throughout his life- close women amongst their friends and family, casual interactions etc. most people don't start out being shunned by women, they start out being treated as NORMAL. & when they show their disrespect in normal society, it isn't tolerated, but when they go to alt-right spaces (which they're pushed towards online) they're told they're allowed to be as horrible as they want with no consequences because they're entitled to everything. it isn't "women aren't welcoming and the alt-right is so friendly so i'll become alt-right," it's "women don't let me disrespect them and the alt-right tells me fuck them, do whatever you want, you're entitled to it all" and why would you choose the group where you have to be a normal accountable person when there's a group that will reward you for being a shithead who gives no fucks?

the alt-right can afford to be more friendly and welcoming because they can allow bigotry. this can't work the same way for progressive spaces because we can be as kind & welcoming as possible but at the end of the day we have lines where we have to say "this behavior/speech isn't allowed in this space," and for certain people, that just can't win against a space where you can be as nasty as you want. these posts always end with a disclaimer saying "of course being kind doesnt mean you need to tolerate their bigotries" but what they don't realize and what drives me crazy is that women not tolerating bigotry IS the "women are mean" that radicalized them in the first place. they perceive you pushing back on any bigotry or bullshit as you being a meanie and treating them like they're ontologically evil. the 'kindness' they need to be deradicalized is you letting them walk all over you.

idk what the answer is to deradicalizing them and im sure relationships are part of it but you can be as kind as you want and all it will do is destroy you ime. i cant stand to see people (who have never even successfully deradicalized any man by being nice btw they always speak in hypotheticals and not from experience) double down on telling women to do things that will see no results and only hurt them, especially when any woman who has tried can tell you exactly how it went

[headfullof-ideas]

Some more headcanon-drawings…things…i have doodles

I actually had these done for a while now, just…never posted them. Idk why. Im trying to get some drawing done today, though for whichever project it’s for, I don’t know

[lala-blahblah]

I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.

[basofy]

god this was so cringey shut up all you've ever seen regarding women has been a smelly rat in the mirror and distorted photoshopped images of women with big boobees you know nothing

[forwomenbiwomen]

Just saw two American tims (the loudest mfers I have ever heard) while in a Primark. I was about two isles away from them and they strode past talking about how the kid's section has the best stuff for them. The KID'S section. Talking about it louder than anyone else was shouting lol.

Absolute fucking culture shock 💀 I've not seen a fully fledged tim in the wild before apart from one creepy acquaintance and holy shit. They were literally the stereotype. If this is what American gyns have to deal with regularly I'm so fucking sorry 😭

WAIT I'VE JUST NOW REMEMBERED ONE OF THEM WAS IN HEELYS LMFAOOOOO and his head just gilded over the racks pleaaaase 😭

[enigmaticvariation]

oscars drama is always embarrassing but today especially because why are people acting like greta gerwig and margo robbie are the only women to ever exist within the film industry and ignoring and throwing the women who got nominated over them under the bus? and of course not a single person is talking about greta lee and celine song being snubbed for past lives (a better film in my opinion,) I wonder why... 😒

[lebensmudewing]

Yeah, 10.000 years of human history don't count at all. Women have always had rights and always have lived like the average person in the most progressive egalitarian country. Our times are the atypical thing here, not the other way around.

Yeah, because women have fought for those rights. If it were for men, women would not have rights, just like in Afghanistan. Egalitarian countries are like that because of feminists who think that male socialization is a problem. Hope it helps.

I'm saying that women's right to vote will be put into doubt. Why is that so hard to understand? Men's voting rights are not questioned. That's male supremacist mindset. Women and girls have to see how men are speaking against their basic rights. 100 years of feminism just to have your male classmate saying your body my choice and following male supremacists podcasts.

Idk why you keep doing strawmans. I clearly said that women's rights are in constant doubt, not that they will be instantly overturned.

Nope, both are generalizations and one is about the summer and the other about one human sex.

The people who say that women are inferior, generally follow up that statement with things like nature, or "their brains are wired that way" or "men and women are different; men should lead and women should be submissive". So I'm pretty sure they are talking about all women since they appeal to "nature" and "biotruths". The idea that women should be controlled and oppressed bc of their biology is patriarchy 101.

Those men are in power because they have popular support. The same way white supremacists are in power because they have popular support at some degree. Again, people has grown in a culture where one group should oppress and other group should be oppressed and people accept it mindlessly or without recognizing all the implications of that. It's not necessary for all men to think that women are subhuman, but they have ideas that reassemble that one and help to support the most radical one.

Again, it has been a norm form women to be treated as second class citizen and not amount of "but that doesn't happen in these advanced privileged countries" and "but men too :(" will change that. There always have been male supremacists and they still exist, and still have their space in politics. Anti women bias is still a thing, men undermining women is still a thing.

If it has changed it is because of feminism, so the "sexism" you are calling out is the one who achieved progress, is the reason why you see common past practices as "eXtReMe" and exceptional.

All your responses just scream privilege and ignorance, you are all the stuff you claim radfems are. Condescending, arrogant and out of touch with reality.

Yeah, we get it, women's experiences are not valid. Women's history is not valid. Women suffering right now because men took their rights away is not valid.

Men are what men say they are and women are what men say they are.

Men pretending to be women and denying women's history, discarding it as a myth is just baseline anti-feminism and male supremacist rethoric.

what baffles me is that he doesn't even realise how stupid his point is when talking about white supremacy. yes, we are all socialised under white supremacy. but some of us are socialised as the supreme, and others are socialised as the inferior. or is he really arguing that there is no substancial difference in growing up white vs. growing up Black??

yes, we are all socialised under patriarchy. BUT YOU WERE SOCIALISED AS THE PATRIARCH omg are you really that stupid or are you pretending

[mold-girl]

This is the latest, and the most enraging, femicide case in turkey

A male who has been obsessed with a girl has killed her and her best friend before killing himself.

He forcefully took her to a historical castle, she was screaming for her life the whole way there yet noone intertwined. He decapitated her and sent the location to her mom saying "your daughter is resting peacefully" when her mom arrived there he threw her daughters head at her.

He has been obsessively stalking her for over 5 years, they had a restraining order agaist him and she even stopped going to school and started homeschooling because of him. Yet one day he decided that he wanted to kill her and kill himself and that was it.

She fought for her life the whole time but just a male deciding that her life was over was enough for her to die.

[quietwingsinthesky]

where’s lee’s post about how when you’re so focused on making your heroes stoic manly men, you make their rivals more compelling by comparison because their departure from masculinity in order to mark them as lesser also allows them to have emotional breakdowns the heroes don’t.

[famousinfamous]

me when I see Della fanart: omg she’s so pretty and cool she’s so skilled to and such a powerful vanisher

also me when I remember that one time Della invalidated Sophie pointing out gender stereotypes: *insert intense cringing here*

[gibbearish]

i know im preaching to the choir on transgumblr.com but can i just say. cis people who throw big fits about transfems who dont shave have just. black holes for brains. like even putting everything about how it sucks to say shaving=femininity while pretending to be a feminist and whatnot aside, you cannot tell me a beard isnt a dope as fuck accessory on a femme look. it literally fucks and if you think it looks gross you can just say you have bad taste and go. beards look cool as fuck and femmes look cool as fuck, why would combining them cancel out the cool as fuck factor. like are you jealous that they get free jaw contouring without having to put anything on their face or what

[marklikely]

i like rng horror pod and i enjoy their analysis most of the time. but i really wish someone would sit them down and explain the entire history of 70s feminism