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jovnie · 3 years ago

Text

The king's arrogance | Namjoon

Summary

The King had knowledge on everything and one in his castle, however he knew nothing of the kingdom he ruled before him. That was till one day he left and found you a street merchant.

Words 5k

Namjoon king au! Reader civilian!

Warnings: fluff, cocky joon, medium amount of smut, mentions of parent death, creampie, oral ( female ), big-dick Joon, nonconsensual touches, creampie, rough sex, lot of plot. Very quick relationship.

I beg that you listen to The mary go round from the moving castle [ slowed ] when reading. I think you'll enjoy it even more with it in the background.

Namjoon sat on the throne, laid back and legs spread apart as a servant read him his to-do list for today.

"Well sir, today starts the month planning of the ball. We have a few colors I'm sure you'll enjoy, however, I'm sorry to inform you that the family members that shouldn't be named threatened third way onto the guest list" the man spoke in fear, nodding and sighing namjoon dismissed the servant with talks of the guest later.

"Mrs. Pot is the tea almost ready?" He asked kindly as the elder Korean lady nodded with a bright smile. Smiling softly, the older lady pinched his cheeks softly.

"I still remember when you were a baby and your late parents running you from tea session to tea session. Oh, how I'm sure you miss them as much as I " her smile faded, as she poured the tea on the table in front of him.

"I do, it's been 18 years now. Since I was 10 I believe, so right 18 years. I'm sure they would've loved to taste this freshly poured tea once again" he reassured, rubbing her back and once done taking a sip with her.

"I'll make sure to clean the alter table later and pour some tea with them" she smiled delicately, as took a drink of her tea.

That was right this year would make it the 18th anniversary of his parent's passing ever since the flood. It was heartbreaking, as his eyes dimmed in sadness the older lady pinched his cheek as he smiled with a tear down his cheek.

"Now don't go soft on me Namjoon, you have to stay strong for those who can't and I know it all hurts. But they'll be watching you like garden spirits. I know your mother is very proud and your father knowing how much a man and a king you have become. Now I have to go, it's time for me to go tend the gardens. Goodbye joonie" she waved, after collecting the empty teacups snd pots. Watching her wheel everything away, namjoon felt comforted by her words and took a deep breath before getting up and moving on with his day.

He spent the day testing and looking at fabrics, color swatches, and paper samples. The ball, gala, or celebration was very important for the kingdom. They only three one when it was important and this time it was a celebration of life once lived aka his parent's death date. September 4th. This day celebrated life and death, just like fall. He loved the metaphor behind it and hated how true love ended so quickly in his eyes. However he too wishes to be able to die with the one he loved dearly by his side, he hated how romantic it sounded and how bad he wanted it. Love wasn't an easy game and not once could he find someone who commented with him in a deep, if not spiritual way.

Itching the back of his head, he walked on and into his room. He had another busy schedule ahead of him. Sometimes he just wished he could live amongst the people for a day. That's what he'll do. Looking around for his leather satchel, he put together what he called a commoners bag. A bag that contained money, an id, and a diary. Looking around for clothes that seemed passable for a commoner and changed into them. From there he grabbed his stuff and snuck his way out of the Castle through the bag. He made sure Mrs. Pot knew where he was just in case this would get him in trouble. After all, the family would show up unexpectedly most of the time and he had people watch his every move as well.

Making sure his hat covered all of his hair, he walked into the street lights and found a carriage ride who was going home or into the city. He paid the guy and let him into the buggy and the city.

Namjoon did this for a weak till he knew the ropes of running out of the kingdom St night, he tried his best to avoid getting caught with the knight guards and the pesticide workers who showed nd yelled deals in his face. He also learned patience along with that, another valuable lesson needed as a king or so he was taught.

One night he went into a low-lit bar with entertainers. Majory we're female and drove the men in the room wild. He's had his fee share of women, but not when it came to this level. He found it charming and often sent gifts to them for their hard work. From the kingdom's guards and not him personally. Still, he ordered rice wine snd some jerky, before leaving. leaving a lady much shorter than him, bumped into his shoulder.

"Guards there's the thrift!" A younger woman pointed, as the men ran after her. Wanting to know what was up, he walked up to the merchant and simply asked. You explained that the woman was a theft, they would steal all her family food at night to make their profit.

"I'm sure you can be more um what are these?" He asked, picking up the food he's never seen before.

"Fruit?" You questioned grabbing the lemon out of his hand. "Well shops closed sir, come back tomorrow and you can buy our lovely fruit," you said kindly, walking up the stairs in this wooden place. Following you, namjoon closed the door behind and also walked up. Namjoon didn't know much manners, but he had the basics for a king. However, to a common person like you, he was a pest, rude, etc.

"Um, what are you doing?" you asked folding sheets for your bed up.

"It's nighttime aren't you gonna ask me to stay and wait till morning?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I supposed. By the way, there's a futon bed over there. I'll make dinner soon then!" you welcomed, as namjoon looked ok confusion at what the blanket on the floor was trying to imitate. Taking off his shoes, he placed his bag on the 'futon' and hung his jacket and hat on the hanger by the door.

Arriving back you blushed hard, as a beautiful looking man was now clear in your view. Luckily for namjoon, you had no money to spend on papers like everyone else or let alone money to go to the balls either. Therefore you had no clue that this man was a noble, let alone the king. If you did you would've just died at how you just treated him.

"It's beef and seaweed soup, with carrots and onions" you listed off as you placed the bowl on the floor diner table. Placing a spoon and a napkin on the side, you forgot the drink. Walking away you grabbed him a cup and poured lemonade in, before walking back. On your arrival, you saw him going to town on the meal. He slurped and moaned as he complimented your cooking. Chuckling, you sat the glass of lemonade down and took the napkin to wipe his chin and cheek. Placing it down, you watched him continue and enjoy it. Although there was only enough for his, you still had something to eat. You simply had bread and butter with some lemonade as well.

It took him a bit to notice you didn't have a bowl which made him feel a bit guilty but instead handed her 30 ₩ which was a lot during that time. Not wanting to take it, he "accidentally " dropped it down your bra and smiled.

"Well it's late, we should sleep and then go out to shop for food and new clothes" the man spoke.

"I'm sorry but I don't know you, how do I not know you're not trying to kidnap me or steal or worse kill me!" You mentioned as the older man stripped off his shirt.

"You don't have to, just know ill help you and accept the gift" he spoke, pitting his clothes beside him.

"Excuse you, you don't come in someone's house and act like this. Do you even have manners?" You added in frustration.

"I paid you, it wasn't a gift. It was a payment and I can tell you've never gotten one" he snickered, laying on the futon snd taking your cover. Annoyed at the man, you crossed your arm as he mouth "you have a problem?"

"Yes, I do! What's your name to begin with?" You asked, laughing it off he closed his eyes.

"Surprised you don't know and it'll stay like that for a bit darling" he whispered, moving over he patted next to him. "Sleep with me"

"No! I don't sleep with strangers like that, unlike you I have honor " you mentioned, getting up to go change into something appropriate for bed. Once done, you came back and he was still in the same position as before.

"I think I demanded that. besides I can ruin this little shop of yours if you don't. " he threatened, looking at his nails snd then at her. Well dressed and groomed man, you could visibly see the power he likely had. This was your mother's business and you promised her you would take care of it. Saddened you laid down next to him and whispered "please don't, this is all I have left."

"So we're on the same page I believe, no?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Yes," he replied. She felt uncomfortable and annoyed at the fact she had to do this for a business. Let alone a man, then again the men weren't always so kind to the women here, most always. She sighed and just accepted it, as he covered the two up.

"Call me Joon, " be whispered in your ear. Nodding, his hands traveled up and down your wist. Coughing, he halted then stopped after finding a comfy place to lay his hand.

"Do you do this with every woman?" You asked, curious.

"Well the last time I had a woman in my arms, she tried to advance me in marriage" he mentioned, putting his neck in-between your shoulder and neck.

"I do however have experience If that's what your aim is?" He said softly.

"Not really, I mean if a stranger just threatened your job and made you do this. Along with inappropriate touching for people who just met, I'd believe you'd be the class below poverty. Not a king not noble" you told, unexpectedly holding his arm between your breast.

Noticing, namjoon's cheeks flushed red. Luckily the lantern. Was behind him and not in front, so she couldn't see. "Toché" he replied.

"However I can see you've had a bad experience with men hmm?" He asked, softly brushing his nose on her neck.

"So you're not around here I see, well yes every guy here is just shit. Rude snd ignorant as you" you huffed, as raised an eyebrow.

"I'll give you that, feminist huh. Cute, haven't met one till you" he smiled, intrigued. "It seems like I've violated it huh, touching you snd acting sloppy" he added, moving your hair out your face.

"Glad you noticed, now turn the candle out!" you demanded, closing your eyes. Doing just that, he then wrapped his leg around you snd kissed your cheek.

"Good night"

Morning came, as the two of you laid there comfortable in each other's embrace. With him being the first to wake up, he tapped your shoulder and you woke up soonly after him. Yawing and stretching, you made sure your hand hit him on purpose.

"Sorry," you said coy, as he rolled his eyes up and shrugged it off.

"So when's breakfast?" He asked, getting up as you realized he had just worn cotton briefs. One's that we're expensive and that added more mystery to him. Why was someone who could've been from a noble family be here and threatened for his stay? Then the thought of maybe it's all stolen.

"The time?" He asked waving his hands over your face as you realized you had zoned out.

"Sorry, we have to go get food and we can buy food at the square." You mentioned.

"Where's the bathroom?" He asked, you pointed to the medium-sized room across from him. The place was small and combined, so you could see the kitchen from the bed area and a mini living room. Nodding off he grabbed his clothes snd began using the pump to pump water into the bath.

"Don't use all the water!" You yelled.

"I can and make you join me" he yelled back, smirking.

"No ill make you get more water from the lake behind here" you replied, itching your hair.

"Don't you have to get more water anyways, less work" he mentioned, leaving the door open and sitting in the tub? This man was quite weird when it came to flirting, it somewhat seemed motherly and innocent. However on the other hand, overly sexual and mysterious.

"Fine" you huffed, striping and walking towards the tub. That's when that harsh look he had softened and turned into a stare. There you were in front of him, naked snd he took every moment to vies your body. He saw how thick your hair was and how curvy your body was. He liked that, he paid attention to how big your breast was and the fact it looked like you haven't trimmed in a week. Which meant you looked old enough for him to do special things with.

"How old are you?" he questioned.

"I love how you did all of this without asking' she rolled her eyes, trying to muster a pony 0tail with the length and thickness of her hair.

"Turning 20 next month!" she replied excitedly.

"28 next month as well" he replied, breathing out the air he had subconsciously kept in. Getting in, she sat in front of him, covering her chest with her knees.

"I can still see you!" he laughed, grabbing the soap from the tray. Washing his body first, he took his hands and spread her legs open and washed below and around her arms and chest.

"Open," he said, waiting. Opening your arms you rolled your eyes and he splashed you with water. "Manners young lady " he mentioned. Knowing he's right, you sighed. Your father once told you the same when he was alive and because of that "Joon" reminded you of your father a bit. He acted mature and young simultaneously.

Washing your arms and your thighs, you washed off the soap on his neck and took the plug out to drain the dirty water. Placing the soap down, he spread his legs open and you accidentally saw something you shouldn't have. Frightened and embraced, you blushed. Taking his hand and pushing your gaze to meet his. He smiled softly.

"It's fine, just don't get too threatened by it. I'm aware of the size," he mentioned, looking you in your eyes. Nodding, you this time pumped the water until it was all out. Cleaning the both of you, you couldn't help but feel shy snd flustered. He felt the same, only he knew how to hide it. But not everything he knew or wanted to hide.

He looked in your eyes, noticing a soft dismal look on you to which he replied with "tell me are you okay?" Thankful for the concern, you told him about your parents passing and the shop's importance to you was. He understood automatically and exchanged his parent's passing in less detail. He didn't think he'd meet with someone with such a familiar background as his, even if they were below Noble.

He took her hand and placed it on her chest. "They're here, I'm sure your mother would be proud of how you came out to be. So leave it at that" he smiles wildly, with his eyes closing shut a bit as he did. You were glad to hear that and he never thought that Mrs.pot's comfort would come in handy, but he's glad to say and share a similar message.

"Speaking of do you have an altar?" He asked gently, unplugging the water and helping you stand up. Nodding you pointed out the door to a small corner. He thanked you and grabbed both of you a towel. Getting dried and dressed you did your hair as he went over to pay the slightest respects. Smiling at how kind the gesture was, you walked over to the rack and tripped over your foot trying to hand him his stuff. You saw a journal fall out and your eyes met his.

"You're a journalist?" You questioned, fixing your dress and hair before getting up and handing his stuff.

"Yeah, not from here tho," he lied, dusting dirt from your shoulder. Nodding you both made your way down the stairs, as he took your hand. Noticing it, you smiled. You wondered why he was being nice to you all of the sudden, however, that all changed when a guard walked past by and he brought you to a kiss. Confused and his eyes waiting for them to go, you kissed back hesitantly. Letting go, you looked at him worried he shrugged it off and you walked him to the square.

Hand in Hand, you brought namjoon to the bakery. Looking around, he pointed out the most expensive bread on hand and paid. Thanking him, he leads your hand to the vendors outside. Lucky for you, he knew about gardening and what was good. He helped and taught you the basics snd you learned you've been scammed for years. Thanking him, you took him to a cart of flowers and smelled the fresh roses, looking up at him. He paid for the golden yellow rose bouquet. Now it was for his favorite part of the day, clothes shopping. But beforehand, he pulled you into a cafe.

"Two bags of your finest coffee," namjoon ordered, by now you shouldn't have been shocked at how much he could spend. But seeing him use more money than you've sent your entire life was a sight to see snd each time you were thankful. You had enough food and supplies to last week if not a month. Holding you close by him, you realized you warmed up to him and small gestures like that felt comforting to you. He noticed and did it more often.

Soon it was night and there was only, one dress store open. In there was a beige dress that sparkled in the shop's lights. Running to the window to look, you smiled. Feeling a hand on your back, he took a step in and pulled your hand in with him.

"Welcome to Gezels tailor and shop" the owner greeted. He was an older man with gray hair a fragile smile.

"Well take that dress in the window snd tailor it to her size. His much is it?" Namjoon asked, pulling his wallet for the last time today.

"₩ 10,000" the man spoke, paying upfront the older man invited you to the back room and told namjoon to stay upfront. Nodding, you walked ahead and namjoon sat in the chair. He had a diary to write about today's and yesterday's adventures. He started up about the bathtub time you shared snd imagined your body once again. If only he knew his to draw, he'd paint a pretty picture in the book. Soon after finishing his entry, you walked out with a note.

Note: the dress will be ready for you miss before dusk, come back tomorrow with your lover -Gezel tailor and shop

You handed it to namjoon and he read it, as the two walked out. Suddenly loud commotions of horses snd guards ran through the city with lights.

"The king's missing!" The horseman yelled into the square. Namjoon in a panic rushed you two into the forest nearby. Confused, but following him. You wondered if he had something to do with it, besides this wasn't the first time he ran away from the guards today.

"They can't find me or ill be in trouble, act like a lover, please. I'll pay you in gold when I can" he begged on his knees with his hat on his chest.

"Don't pay me, think of it as a token of my gratitude. I'll help, but you have to explain everything when we get back," you murmured, taking his hands and helping him out the dirt. Making you drop the food and his bag.

Suddenly, he gripped your body and jumped both of you in a lake as he heard the sounds of horses clamping. A sound you didn't even hear. Holding your head under the water, he waited for the light of the torch to leave the lake area before swimming the two of you up.

Taking deep breaths of air, the two of you swam to the doc snd he helped you up first before himself. Luckily, the food wasn't damaged. Frustrated, you grabbed the food and his bag as you walked home. Walking in, you kept the lights off snd went to the second floor.

Stripping you of your clothes snd placing the bags down, you watched him do the same. Forgetting you had to pump the water, he suggested he'd go do it and you nodded giving him directions snd within 30minutes he was done. Striping once again, he hugged your body to his chest. You soon felt tears on your neck and small crys, you rubbed his back snd just stood there till he let go.

"What's wrong?'" You asked concerned.

"I could've killed you!" he cried, remembering the look his mother gave him before dying in his arm. His father did the same thing to his mother, only on a ship in the middle of the sea. Hugging him, you rubbed his back and placed a kiss on his lips. Holding you to his chest, kissed you back, and laid back so your bare body laid on his.

"Let's wait to shower" he suggested, kissing your neck. Nodding your head no, he flipped you over on your stomach softly and trapped your legs with his. "Please?' He asked, leaning down on your level on the floor snd holding your chest in his hand. Agreeing, knowing what's about to happen you loosened up snd he turned you on your back.

His hands ran around your chest and thighs, leaning down to kiss your naked body as a slight moan came out. From there, he moved his lips to your mouth and softly moved yours to his hair. Taking note, you ran his fingers through his dark brown ones as the two of you danced with each other's tongue. Namjoon removed his lips snd traveled down south, gripping his hair in pleasure you moaned grinding your hips. Meanwhile, he took in a natural aroma, one he found arousing. Moving his tongue around the bud, he softly kissed your thighs leaving bruises.

Looking at your head tilting back snd eyes closed with heavy to light breathing. He took his pointer finger snd rubed softly in circles, moving his body to tower you with one arm. Noticing the shift of best around your neck, you felt his warm breath move down your neck and by your ear.

"Let me tell you something darling, I'm not who I say I am" he kissed around your neck, papering it in kisses. Hearing you moan, made him aroused by the minute. However he knew it was time to go back to the castle, only he wasn't going empty-handed. As your hands rubbed his back, he whispered "I'm Namjoon, they're looking for me, darling. Tonight the last night I can spend here so let's make it count" in a raspy tone.

In shock, he gave you a minute to calm down as he could hear your heart. "I'm sorry" he apologized.

"No need, but for whatever this may be for you. Just know I haven't done anything like this with anyone," you admitted. Humming he moved to the other ear and whispered "I like that, just know it will hurt after a few minutes snd then feel better or the pain could feel good!" he warned. Taking his warning, he gently rubed you as got on his knees and opened your legs wide. Watching as he did, you noticed he was fully erected at this point and ready. You closed your eyes snd tensed your muscles as he began to simply grind his tip into you.

He was right there was pain, which caused you to bleed a bit. However, it was enjoyable without a doubt. Soon he was able to put 6/9 inches in as he trusted slowly. Moaning under him, he moved his in circles biting his lower lip as looked at your fuller lips and leaned over and wrapped your legs around his waist. After a few moments of waiting for you to adjust, you thought about today snd how it was so obvious he was the king snd yet it flee by.

As you moaned loud, his thrusts began to speed up snd the two of you could hear the sounds of his hips banging into yours snd your ass as he went faster.

"Ah, baby!" He grunted, grinding into you deeply as your hands rubed into his hair. Morning louder, his lips conceded back to yours as you held on snd then to your neck where you heard his heavy breathing. Your body was tightening around him, as he went in deeper now putting himself in. Not to mention you began to pool around him which gave him more speed in the end.

"Namjoon!" You moaned in his ear, holding his back tightly as your legs unwrapped snd opened wider for him. Cursing under his breath, he went harder as you began to arch your bag in pleasure. He held onto your back as your head went backs and the build of pleasure built up quickly.

you held onto his muscular shoulders while he moved you closer to him to go deeper. With that sending you over the edge, you screamed his name in pleasure as yours and his breathing began to match in heaviness. Shopping for a second, namjoon looked you in your eyes and thrust slowly as he was too close and it felt too good.

"In close, but I don't wanna cum yet" he grunted, thrusting deeply in and out.

"Then cum when you can't hold it!" You urged, outta breathe enjoying the depends. "I'm fine with children" you explained. Nodding, he continued and went harder this time.

His mouth roamed your chest, sucking and pulling on the bud as your back arched and mouth open in response. You this time, grinded back cgroundhim to jolt forward and start panting.

"Fuck don't do that unless you-" you interrupted doing it again. Pushing your legs back and open wide he started hammering into you as you began screaming in both pleasure and slight pain. You scratched his back and he immediately let go of your thighs snd pushed your hands back. As your body began to shake under him, he went faster as his chest heaved in breathing and yours became flushed with red. He started to let his enjoyment show more and tilted his head back with his eyes close as he went faster. He allowed the sounds of your whimpering snd moans to fulfill his urge as his balls smack your body hard causing a loud moan to come out from him.

Moving his hips to go at a slightly different angle than before, he noticed you started dripping more and more causing your heat to became more and more pleasurable on his end. He leaned down to your chest and held you as he began moaning in ecstasy as a thick load covered your walls in white.

Stoping and catching his breath, he mouthed something so simple but daring and that was simple.

"Don't leave me"

To which you replied softly. "I won't"

Soon the both of you gained the energy to get in the tub. There you two conversate on what it was like for him to be the king and all, what he planned on doing, and where he wanted to do next.

"Please come back to the castle with me tonight?" He begged, holding his hands with yours.

" I don't wanna be a drag" you looked down.

"You won't, I promise you'll enjoy your new life" he stated happily as ever.

"Namjoon don't you think it's too fast, we just met and all." You mentioned.

"Right, that is an undeniable truth. However, I know you felt the same way I did snd I know this isn't a fairy tale. But I truly feel like we could have a life" he spoke, holding your hands to his chest. Yes, that was true, you did believe in fate snd everything. But this was soon and so much.

"I'll go, but you have to let me have the ability to leave, " you said sadly, bring you to his chest he nodded and turned your body around in the tub.

From there you two did what was needed and packed a small bag of hygiene snd the coffee from earlier to go. You two had to walk back to the castle without being seen or heard at all. Which called for a few close times of being caught, from there he showed you a secrete gate entrance that led straight towards his room. From there, he tried his best to pick you up and take you to his room. there which Mrs. Pot sat praying

"I'm home and I brought a guest" he mentioned putting you down. As she recognized Mrs. Pot, she immediately went to hug her.

"It's been a while, my dear, I remember when you were both sized. I see you ran into the king, ah I knew he would've found you. I mean he's always had an eye on elegance and beauty" she mentioned embracing you tightly and pinching her cheek the same way she did with namjoon.

"I'll tell the guards your home" she looked at namjoon winking. Itching his head as he smiled, he turned to you and stripped naked again.

This time he leaned on the top of you again and you immediately kissed back. "It's a yes" you knew immediately as he took off your clothes once again that same night. Only this time, he focused on filling you up till he couldn't anymore.

"Fuck, this is amazing" he cursed, moving his hips harder as you who was behind sensitive began moaning his name louder and louder. Your legs opened wider and pools of arousal soaked the bed, making him lose control once more in you before pulling you close and moaning in your neck. Spilling once more, he simply uttered

"I love you"

"I love you too"

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captnjacksparrow · 3 years ago

Note

I wish people would stop caring about the canon pairings and marriages in Naruto/Boruto because they should have absolutely no relevance for SNS shippers in terms of validating said ship. Those who say we are delusional because “Well, Naruto married Hinata so she is THE one he loves!” (I'll focus more on Naruto's marriage here... Is Sasuke's even a marriage?) simply don’t get that it just doesn't really matter who Naruto and Sasuke married because that in no way diminishes their feelings for each other. The main plot of the series revolves around the bond between Naruto and Sasuke. It is their story. They are each other's most important people and this was established back in Land of Waves arc even before the dramatic events that take place on the bridge - the whole point of that very first arc was making this a fact right from the beginning, because the story has always been and was always supposed to be about the two of them and the profound love and understanding that grows between them ever since they exchanged glances, smiles and pouts as lonely little broken kids. No reason to list all proof of their feelings and bond here, it has been done extensively, and if somebody watched the show/read the manga and missed it, they are missing half a brain. That these boys love each other more than anyone else is absolutely obvious.

So what about the canon pairings? Kishimoto stated time and time again that his focus was never romance, and that is not because he can't write romance as we know it (he clearly did), but it’s a matter of concept: what HE considers romance is the attraction that unites people with the purpose of marriage (confessing your romantic love for japanese people is the same as saying you want to be in a relationship, because feelings shouldn’t be voiced without an intention), and that, to him, is NOT the greatest expression of love, nor does it represent the most special bond two people can share.

It is understandable that westerners put so much weight into marriage because we consider it the epitome of love. Well, the truth is marriage in Japanese culture is mainly the only socially admissible means to have children and has very little to do with romantic love. In fact, in Japanese literature, it is much more common for unmarried couples to love each other than married ones. Obviously, there is no absolute truth when it comes to feelings and human relationships, what I'm doing here is generalising social norms and expectations (not exposing my opinion on them - that would turn this rant into something else entirely). A large number of Japanese marriages are loveless (and arranged, but no point getting into that either) and what motivates choosing a spouse is their ability to fulfill familial duties, meaning: is the woman good mother and consequently wife material? Is she going to devote her life to taking care of her children, house and husband, the noblest of acts for a female? Is the man willing and capable of putting his occupation above everything else, working extremely hard and for long hours, with total dedication and diligence for his job, to the point of not even seeing his family most of the time, as an honorable man should do as a provider? That's what makes a GOOD married couple: two people following their expected and strict gender-roles in a nuclear child-centered family (again, please, this is not MY opinion!). What a Japanese man should want in a woman is for her to be a dedicated housewife and mother, since having children outside of marriage is not only frowned upon, it is not acceptable at all, and not being married with children is not respectable enough (same with being divorced). Marriage is, therefore, NOT a symbol of undying love and a deep and special connection between two people, rather, it’s a partnership established with the goal of having and raising children.

Do these descriptions ring any bells?

In conclusion: the pairings were, in fact, created for the sole purpose of bringing forth the next generation, and that was made CANONICALLY true. Would it have been better if they hadn’t gone down that "safe" route? Hell, yeah! It would have been fucking amazing and could even have been groundbraking, for several reasons. BUT as unsatisfying as it may be, the fact is they chose a very TRADITIONAL depiction of marriage that has little to do with feelings, and that in itself shouldn’t be taken lightly, since it leaves the strongest bond, which is grounded on genuine love, untouched. In this scenario, justifying romantic love through marriage alone won’t cut it, and trying to discredit the obvious unmatched connection and feelings between two characters because they never got married to each other or married someone else is ludicrous. Yeah, a married couple can love each other deeply and above anyone else, but that is just not what marriage is ABOUT in Japanese culture and definitely not what Kishimoto wanted us to believe was the case here after dedicating 699 chapters to a story about the special bond between two boys that didn’t culminate in marriage.

You know what IS a symbol of romantic love in Japan? Being willing to die together when the love you feel goes against your moral obligations, holding on to the belief that you will be reunited in the afterlife, where you will be free of any burden and able to love freely.

Are more bells being rung?!

Oh, some bonus info: We also tend to associate sex with romantic love. Well, Japanese married couples with children rarely have sex, if at all. After a woman becomes a mother, she is no longer considered sexually desirable and becomes a mother figure to her husband as well (what happened to Hinata’s big "attributes" in Boruto? Huh). This is especially true when couples sleep in separate rooms and the mother shares a bed with her children. (Hinata co-sleeps with Himawari and we know Naruto sleeps in a separate room. Just saying.)

What's your say?

Is Sasuke's even a marriage?

Geezz!!!! LoLLLLL!!!! This sentence just made me cackle so hard for a good 5 minutes, Anon!!!!!

Hmmm.... So let's get back to your ask.

Well, I don't know how to react to this ask, Anon. Because, I don't know whether you are from Japan or you have a very close Japanese friend who might've told you all these cultural thing about marriage and relationships.

So, what I am going to do is to analyze from the facts you have provided , combine with my own cultural relevance and provide my answer. If there is any Japanese readers who are reading this, you can confirm or dispel this by sending me an ask. But again, I don't want exceptional case like, 'No, my family is different'. I want to know about the general lifestyle of a common citizen and their married life.

Having said that, this ask made me just yell at myself, 'Goshh!!!! Seriously???'

Because whatever you said, It fucking exist in my country too and is still followed by almost 70% of people in my country and I absolutely detest it. That is,

Most of the marriages here are loveless nd arranged - Check

Is the woman good mother and consequently wife material? Is she going to devote her life to taking care of her children, house and husband, the noblest of acts for a female? - Check

People following their expected and strict gender-roles in a nuclear child-centered family - Check Check

What a man should want in a woman is for her to be a dedicated housewife and mother, since having children outside of marriage is not only frowned upon, it is not acceptable at all, and not being married with children is not respectable enough (same with being divorced). - Check Check

Marriage is, therefore, NOT a symbol of undying love and a deep and special connection between two people, rather, it’s a partnership established with the goal of having and raising children. - Awww!!! A million Check.

That's why I was envious of Western people in this aspect, because they have a freedom to choose their own partner without any time constraints and when they do, their marriage can be said to be 'The Epitome of Love'.

My parents marriage is also an arranged one. And whenever they have disagreement and that leads to verbal war, they let out this words, 'I'm here with you because of my 2 daughters otherwise I would've left you long back'. So... Yeah. Here, most of the marriages are child-centered. Again, it's not just my opinion. Majority of the arranged marriage based family revolve around their child.

And I was born, a year after my parents' marriage, and If I hadn't been born, then people will question my parent's fertility factor and start to discriminate them. So, I can boldly claim that, I was not born out of Love or something. I was born because of social obligations.

But it doesn't mean, my parents don't love each other now. How should I say???? It's like a Stockholm Syndrome??!!!! Like when you stay with a person for a long time, you will eventually start to develop some feelings over the course of the time. It took them 15 years to come to a complete understanding of each other. It's the same case with many couples here.

Considering all these, Sasuke never even stayed with Sakura enough to make her understand him, So I wonder what kind of couple are they????? Weird!!!!!

In conclusion: the pairings were, in fact, created for the sole purpose of bringing forth the next generation, and that was made CANONICALLY true.

Awww!!!! Man, Seriously???? I made this claim long back in this post where I said, these women were used as a tool to bring out Next Generation Kids. My claim was based on Analytical Perspective.

And then one of the rabid SS stan reblogged my post and pulled out a hetero card stating, 'They are married and blah blahh...' when in reality, I never discussed about their sexuality in that post. That post was purely based on the number of pages each hetero couples shared with each other against the number of pages Sasuke & Naruto shared together.

Now, you have provided a cultural perspective for those shitty canon pairings.

On one side, I feel the need to smirk, because I am right.

But on the other side, I feel bad like, 'Is this how, this show must go on?? What are you trying to convey from this?'.

Hmmm.... It's interesting to know this. Anon.

This is where it differs slightly in my country.

Romantic love here is,

No matter what happens, I'll stand with you, You are just not alone. I will leave my fucking clan, parents, relatives if they don't approve you and we will start a new life somewhere.

[[Here, marriages happen mostly between their clan members. If you love a person from another clan, you will be ostracized or tortured or honour killed by your very parents. It just differs from clan to clan. I was subjected to this same problem and that's why I hate my Clan and left my parents. And this is also one of the reason why I love Itachi. Because we share similar Ideals. That is, Not to be obsessed over your clan and think beyond this restriction.

Also, here in Asian Culture if someone is willing to leave their family (when they don’t approve you) and prefer you over everything.... It means.... that's some Love beyond Comprehension. Just like how Naruto was willing to leave his Family (like Sakura and Kakashi) and like to stand with Sasuke... Just like how Naruto was willing to leave his own family and go on a long mission with Sasuke]]

So does it remind you of anything?????

It's the whole SNS dynamics starting from their childhood to VoTE2. That's why I started to ship SNS, because it represents the true love we always wish for.

Would it have been better if they hadn’t gone down that "safe" route? Hell, yeah! It would have been fucking amazing and could even have been groundbraking, for several reasons. BUT as unsatisfying as it may be, the fact is they chose a very TRADITIONAL depiction of marriage that has little to do with feelings, and that in itself shouldn’t be taken lightly, since it leaves the strongest bond, which is grounded on genuine love, untouched. In this scenario, justifying romantic love through marriage alone won’t cut it

This is very true, Anon.

I mean, they don’t even have to take a groundbreaking route.

They should have given everyone an open ending, just like Kishi left at chapter 699. What is the need of a marriage, if Naruto is going to adopt Kawaki??? If Orochimaru was going to create a Baby Artificially?? If Rock Lee is going to have a child out of nowhere???

But I am happy that SNS bond is the only one that wasn’t diminished in this hot mess called Burrito. So, atleast we should be happy about that.

When someone pulls the marriage card, I just block them immediately because they are not even worth having a good conversation. NH will pull out the Last movie and SS will pull out, ‘Sasuke called Sakura ‘My Wife’.... So, it’s just pointless.

So, to conclude

Considering my Analytical perspective, I already made earlier in other post and your ask which provides some insight about Japanese culture which eerily resembles the culture I belong to, It all makes sense that this whole pairings and trash is just for the sake of bringing out Next Generation series and those boys never loved those girls whole heartedly. And I agree with you on this.

#ask #sns #sasunaru #anti ss #anti nh #antisakura #antihinata #anti sakura #anti hinata

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dirk-has-rabies · 4 years ago

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Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on) and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes. gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao, or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella) some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do. we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert) this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing. allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it) has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance” SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate) since a lot of people roll their eyes at that and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly. Autigender is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

#autism #actuallyautistic #trans #nonbinary #xenogenders #neopronouns #lgbtq #adhd #nuerodivergent #gender identity

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queenangst · 4 years ago

Note

How about a oneshot with touch starved midoriya? Maybe neglectful inko? Like the first positive touch he can remember is all might when he was 15, or aizawa or smth

for my 30 min fic challenge / read more: ‘30 min fics’ tag

a hand in the unfamiliar [read on AO3]

The apartment was quiet when Izuku got up, silencing his alarm with a quick tap on his phone. He sat on the edge of his bed for a moment, looking around his room. Early morning light was only just peering in, the sky still blue-grey. He knew it would brighten and change, but by that time Izuku would be long gone.

Mom never got up this early. He peered at the time. 5:43 AM.

He crept out of bed, keeping his slippers off so they wouldn’t make any sound, and then quickly got ready. Izuku hopped from the bathroom, toothbrush still in his mouth, when he heard his phone vibrate.

All Might 5:45 AM Hope you’re ready for training!

Everything in Izuku was suddenly and wonderfully awake. He’d set the alarms, circled the dates on the calendar, but… this was it. They’d already started training two weeks ago.

He still couldn’t believe he saw All Might almost every day.

Yet—Izuku felt like he’d never get used to this floating feeling. Every step down the hall, though cautious, also felt like he was hovering just a little off the floor. He grabbed an energy bar and the water bottle he’d filled last night, looking around the apartment and listening for the lack of sound that meant Mom was still sleeping.

He hadn’t told her about training yet.

Izuku wasn’t quite sure why. He began the jog down to the beach, the cool morning air greeting him. It was just nice to have a secret—though Izuku had kept plenty from her—that was really, genuinely, just for him. A little something that Izuku could keep in his heart and use as a shield for when the bullies or Kacchan got a little too mean, or when the teachers looked over their desks with those gazes that said you’ll never amount to anything.

But—All Might.

All Might was already waiting for him by the time Izuku came over the first slope of sand, grinning.

“Midoriya, my boy,” he said. He smiled. “You look happy.”

“Just excited to work hard!” Izuku cheered. He bowed. “Good morning, All Might.”

All Might chuckled. “Then good morning to you.”

The greeting sent warmth spreading through Izuku. Over the last two weeks he’d kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Actually, a part of him still was.

One day Izuku would show up and the thick morning clouds would close in, and at the top of the slope All Might would stand, arms folded. In those nightmares All Might didn’t look like a hero, just a dark shadowy figure even though his silhouette was still recognizable.

He would say, I made the wrong choice. You can’t be a hero.

So far it hadn’t happened. Every day when Izuku woke up, he hoped it wouldn’t.

“Where do you want to start first?” All Might asked.

Izuku bit his lip and surveyed the beach. His eyes landed on a small section of trash close to them, cluttered with objects of varying sizes.

“Here,” Izuku said, and All Might followed him.

They fell into a familiar rhythm as Izuku began his work. Usually first he worked on the smaller items, sort of like his warm-up, and lugged microwaves and broken fans, bits of litter and broken things up to All Might’s truck. All Might watched carefully.

It made Izuku nervous sometimes, how closely he watched. That was the point of being a mentor, Izuku supposed, and no way was Izuku ever going to tell All Might that it made Izuku a bit uncomfortable. The back of his neck prickled.

Still waiting. Still waiting for All Might to tell Izuku that he wasn’t good enough. Turn around and go back to your shitty excuse of an existence, worthless Deku. That sounded more like something Kacchan might say.

His foot caught on an exposed metal frame of sorts, and Izuku went flying. There was a loud clatter as he dropped the chair he’d been carrying, and Izuku landed in the sand, pain shooting up his arm despite the forgiving surface.

“Midoriya!”

Izuku sat up and spat sand out of his mouth, groaning. Usually training was hard enough that he always showered before heading to school anyway, but this was just gross, and he’d have to put up with being covered in sand for the rest of the session.

All Might crouched next to him. “Are you alright?”

Izuku looked up into a concerned face, and the words died in his throat. He tried to say yes, just a simple little word, but he couldn’t.

“...Midoriya?”

Izuku wiped at his face, though it only made more sand stick. He looked down at his hand, hissing.

The pressure eased.

“I’m-I’m okay, All Might,” he choked out.

When was the last time someone looked at Izuku like that? Not pitying the way strangers did when it got out that Izuku was Quirkless, not concerned in the way that people often thought Izuku couldn’t handle himself just because he couldn’t create explosions from his sweat or pull objects toward himself. Not the kind of help that was condescending, or to make themselves feel better.

All Might just looked like he cared.

“Your arm, is it alright?”

Izuku realized he was holding it. He turned his right arm around, testing, and felt only a bit of pain now that the initial impact was over.

“Um…”

“Here,” All Might said. He leaned in, hair swinging forward in Izuku’s face, and Izuku realized they were close. Before Izuku could react, All Might gently took Izuku’s arm, massive hand cradling his. “Let me see.”

“It’s—” Izuku squeaked.

All Might, muscle form or not, could probably snap Izuku’s arm like it was nothing more than a pencil. He bet the man could eat bullets for breakfast, even. But All Might’s touch was light, gentle, as he turned Izuku’s arm over.

“Might bruise,” All Might said.

“So-sorry,” Izuku said.

All Might startled. Their eyes met before Izuku dropped his gaze.

“Why are you sorry?” He dropped Izuku’s hand but then reached for Izuku’s shoulder, almost covering it. “I’m glad you’re alright. It was just an accident.”

Izuku chewed on the inside of his cheek so he didn’t answer right away.

Just an accident. Those words could mean many different things.

“I- I messed up.”

All Might chuckled. “You tripped, my boy. Nothing to be worried about. You know, I walk into doors all the time. It’s quite embarrassing.”

Izuku stopped being able to think, or to listen to what All Might was saying, because he was suddenly and overwhelmingly aware that All Might’s hand hadn't left his shoulder yet. It was a casual touch, but it felt so nice that Izuku wondered how long they could stay there. If they could.

At the same time, Izuku thought if they stayed there any longer, he might explode. His childhood hero, Izuku’s hero, was here in front of him.

“Ye-yeah,” he mumbled. “Thanks. Um-I-I think I should get back to work.”

All Might smiled and stood up, towering over Izuku. Then he held out a hand, and Izuku stared, dazed.

“Come on, then, you prince of nonsense,” All Might said. “What are you looking at me like that for?”

At home Izuku tended to skirt around Mom when she was too close—not because he was scared she would hurt him, because she would never—but because he was scared if she came too close she would see all his secrets. At school, no one ever touched him kindly—shoving, pushing, punching.

Kindness was a rarity. Kindness was what Izuku had to make himself because no one ever offered it to him.

All Might was offering.

Izuku took it, felt All Might’s firm and steady grasp on his hand as he was pulled to his feet. They held there for a moment, and then All Might ruffled Izuku’s hair.

“Let’s get back to work, then, huh?”

“Yeah,” Izuku said. He bent down and scooped up the stuff he’d dropped. “All… All Might? I’m glad we met.”

Taglist: If you’d like to be added or removed from this taglist (tagged when a new fic is posted), please let me know. If your blog is unmentionable, I cannot tag you.

@happi-tree @soyoudneverguess @granny-griffin @zannish @liarielle @aroandanxious @gwogobo @honeyandsonshine @cinammon-cinner @paralumanleadmehome @ship-tost @gabs-2002 @the-reading-obsessed-stitchbear @weird-skittle @sapphire363 @fr0znmang0 @in-honor-of-you @cheese490 @anakinthetrashking @proheromidoriyashouto @lust-nd-love @firefletch @mamamiamia @frankiealexquin @crossroadofinterests @bornindundee @bleusmainpage @fleurie3am15inspo @scheherahzade

#bnha #bnha fanfic #izuku #dadmight #all might #my fanfic #30 min fics #anonymous

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seven-oomen · 4 years ago

Text

If You Are Going Through Hell, Keep Going

These are the words that Marin Morrell – Druid, Emissary, Guidance Counselor – says to Stiles Stilinski in “Battlefield” (02x11) And I think they suit his character just perfectly, because Stiles has been going through Hell all his life.

The Teen Wolf Fandom don’t talk nearly enough about Stiles’ traumas, so I’ll try my best to do it myself *I won’t even remotely touch on the Void Stiles, Dark Stiles, Donovan and the Nogitsune trauma though, because it’s extremely complex and deserves its own Meta*

It’s Canon that Noah was an alcoholic (as Rafael pointed out to Stiles in 03x11 Alpha Pact), that he neglected and lashed out at his own child (Stiles’ memory in 02x09 Party Guessed), and that Stiles was verbally, emotionally, and physically abused by his mentally ill mother, Claudia, throughout his childhood (there’s a whole magnificently acted, heart wrenching scene about it with flashbacks and all in 05x06 Required Reading.) It’s Canon that Stiles had to take care of himself and of his father before AND after Claudia’s death. And it’s Canon that Stiles – who was only an eight years old child at the time – was at the hospital with his mother when she died, nobody else:

[Teen Wolf Season 3 Episode 11, Alpha Pact]

CHRIS: You knew… I remember meeting you once, before you were Sheriff. You questioned me about a body. You knew something was up. You just weren’t ready to believe it.

NOAH: You’re right. There was a night eight years ago… the night my wife died. I was at the end of a shift, and a call came in. There had been a pile-up, and a young woman… she was a teenager, actually. She was trapped under an overturned car. We had to wait for the paramedics. We were never getting her out, but I was able to hold her hand. She knew she was gonna die. But I just kept telling her “No, no, listen. The paramedics are on their way.” And then I remember her hand suddenly gripped mine so tightly that I literally thought she was gonna break the bones. And she looked me in the eyes, and she said “If you wanna be with her, go now.” And I knew she was talking about my wife… But then that other part of my brain — the part that looks for clues, for fingerprints, for logical connections… that part told me that there is no way that this girl could possibly know about Claudia. And so I stayed. I stayed until the paramedics pulled her out. Until her heart stopped beating and they declared her dead.

NOAH: When I finally got to the hospital, I saw Stiles sitting in the waiting room with his head in his hands… He was with Claudia when she died.

NOAH: But I wasn’t. I wasn’t with her because I didn’t believe… I just did not believe.

It’s also Canon that Derek Hale is a rape victim and that the hunters slaughtered Derek, Cora and Peter’s entire pack/family (including humans and children.) And it’s Canon that Stiles immediately sides with the Hales and openly confronts Chris about what Kate had done to the Hales in 01x12, Code Breaker:

CHRIS: Let me ask you a question, Stiles. Have you ever seen a rabid dog?

STILES: No. I could put it on my to-do list, if you just let me go.

CHRIS: Well, I have. And the only thing I’ve ever been able to compare it to is seeing a friend of mine turn on a full moon. Do you wanna know what happened?

STILES: Not really. No offense to your storytelling skills.

CHRIS: He tried to kill me, and I was forced to put a bullet in his head. The whole while that he lay there dying, he was still trying to claw his way toward me, still trying to kill me, like it was the most important thing he could do with his last breath. Can you imagine that?

STILES: No. And it sounds like you need to be a little bit more select—

CHRIS: Did Scott try to kill you on the full moon? Did you have to lock him up?

STILES: Yeah, I did. I had to handcuff him to a radiator. Why? Would you prefer I locked him in the basement and burned the whole house down around him?

CHRIS: I hate to dispel a popular rumor, Stiles, but we never did that.

STILES: Oh, right. Derek said you guys had a code. I guess no one ever breaks it.

CHRIS: Never!

STILES: What if someone does?

CHRIS: Someone like who?

STILES: Your sister.

Unlike self-proclaimed hero and ruler of Beacon Hills Scott McCall, who immediately sides with the Argents and tells Derek Hale that his family deserved to be burnt alive by the hunters in front of his comatose uncle………..

-----

I feel like there is a lot to unpack on Stiles’s trauma. And I will go over these moments one by one, why they’re damaging, what I think the context of the scene is supposed to represent ft how people might take it. And what my personal thoughts are regarding Stiles’s trauma.

First of, I would like to say that the following words are my take on this. I am a 29 year old trans man of caucasian descend who is an domestic violence and abuse survivor. I am diagnosed with ADHD since 12 and diagnosed with CPTSD since this year. I understand trauma and I understand what it does to people. But I am not a professional. I am a fan, who’s responding to the submission of another, anonymous, fan.

You are completely free to have your own takes on this matter and your own headcanons. That’s what fandom is for.

That said, I would love to have a discussion if you can have it peacefully.

Stiles is a character who was (Unwillingly) neglected, emotionally traumatized and both emotionally and verbally abused by both of his parents. There is even evidence of physical abuse by his mother.

I think it does need to be said, that neither of his parents intended for this to happen. What happened in the Stilinski family was by and large a very traumatic event for everyone involved.

Noah is an alcoholic, as Stiles also confirms in the episode that Noah never really stopped drinking. His alcoholism is a result of his own traumas and possible ND mind and an unhealthy coping mechanism.

As a result of this, Noah most likely was verbally and emotionally abusive during his drunken tirades.

I personally think that before Claudia was diagnosed and got sick Stiles had a good childhood. His parents tried their best to be good parents for him and laid a good foundation for him. This is evidenced in the bond Stiles seems to have with his father in general. He’s not afraid of his father, he’s nervous about consequences. But he never gives off a vibe to me that truly says; I fear this man and I have to stay in line to stay alive.

Unlike Isaac and his father.

This also tells me, that unlike Elias Stilinski, Noah never lashed out physically at Stiles. He was trying to break a cycle of abuse but more than likely still fell victim to it himself when he could no longer cope with trauma and his neurodivergency and started drinking.

That doesn’t mean that he’s not guilty of abusing his own son. We know Noah can be neglectful and dismissive towards Stiles (even though he tries his best not to be) and has a tendency to low key insult Stiles from time to time. Whether or not he truly means to or not is up for debate, I personally think he doesn’t mean to do it, but Stiles is clearly heartbroken every time Noah accidentally lashes out.

As evidenced by sentences: “I’ve never believed a word he said since he was born.” “Thank you, son I should have had.” (To Scott)

Stiles already has a deep founded fear that he’s not enough, that he killed his own mother, that he’s not believed by the people around him, and that people don’t want to take him seriously.

This is clear in every interaction he has with the people around him.

Which also brings me to what happened in 2x09. Now based on the context clues of that scene, I actually don’t believe Stiles saw a play-by-play memory. But rather, Stiles saw his greatest fear play out in a hallucination.

Why do I believe that?

Because in the same scene, Allison has a hallucination about becoming her own worst nightmare (a huntress like Kate) and Scott sees a hallucination of Allison and Jackson making out. (Aka, losing Allison.)

I think the scene both has fabrications and truths in it. The truth is that more than likely, Stiles saw his father getting drunk at his mother’s funeral and lashing out at people around him in his drunken stupor. (Which on one hand, one can understand if you take the pain and trauma into account, but it’s not a healthy or an okay thing to do, obviously. This is definitely where Noah fell apart.)

I also like to think one of the other adults put a stop to Noah’s behavior before he could get out of hand. But we never really see her funeral play out, so that is speculation.

The fabrication is the scene that follows. We know that Claudia was the one that actually said the words to Stiles. “You’re killing me, he’s killing me.”

And that Noah was the voice of reason in that scene. “No, he’s not. You’re sick, let’s go back inside.” (Or something along those lines. I can’t remember the exact words.)

What I think is more than likely is that Stiles’s greatest fear is that his father actually believes he killed his mother. As that is what his mother said to him before she died. And so that’s what he hallucinated under the influence of the wolfsbane.

Stiles’s greatest fear is losing both of his parents, no matter in what way that is. He also fears that he failed as a son, and failed to take care of his father. All of this is fueled by losing his mother and watching her die at a very young age.

And that is where Stiles’s trauma truly lies. He watched his mother die (at the age of 10) slowly while she lost her mind to a terrible illness.

His father couldn’t handle losing his wife and not being able to help her and the previous traumas he endured in his own childhood. And Stiles had to step up to take care of him. That changes a child and leaves a mark. A mark that Stiles can’t shake.

We know Noah neglected Stiles by not being able to care for him as he should have, we know Noah tends to think Stiles has wild conspiracy theories and tends not to believe him.

Which traumatized Stiles even though Noah didn’t intend for that to happen. That doesn’t mean that Stiles’s trauma isn’t real though. It’s very real. This is also the reason why he immediately chooses Derek’s side in 1x12.

For Stiles, not being believed is a daily reality and he doesn’t want anyone else to go through that as well. Which is why he chooses Derek’s side. Because Stiles, due to his own trauma, is hard-wired to believe the victim and tends to defend them.

Now I think a lot of people take a lot of Stiles’s scenes literal because they identify with what’s happening on screen. Because Stiles isn’t being believed by the other characters, the audience tends to take his perspective at face value. Even in situations where it’s made clear that Stiles, like other characters, is hallucinating at the time.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I do think it’s something to consider.

Tagging a few people who might want to add a thought or two to this.

@mostly-vo1d @artemisa97 @msmischief101

#stiles stilinski #teen wolf #teen wolf meta #trauma #ptsd discussion #submission

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millllenniawrites · 4 years ago

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fun in the meantime (FO! Poe Dameron x f!OC)

part two of when the stars miss the sun

written with @vampirewithbedsidemanners

words: 2.4k

warnings: dark!ooc!Poe Dameron (if you want specifics, dm me); smut (rough sex, slight dubcon moment, praise, 'good girl' used); prostitution; established relationship (sort of); slow burn (yes the two can coexist leave me alone); redemption arc; Pixar ending; murder; warnings will be added as the series progresses

a/n: i love this story and im so excited to share it with you guys. this one is as cute and soft as it gets before everything gets very very dark (though please do heed the warnings cause it isn't just happy times)

Red woke up alone in sheets that still felt warm and soft like his satin skin. Her Admiral… not that she could let him know how ingrained in her mind he had become over the last three years. Just like every time before, he left her with the taste of him lingering on the edges of her senses, keeping her from the biting, harsh reality of the universe they lived in.

The house was beautiful and grand without being over the top, just as out of place as he was in everything. He’d told her the night before that the house was the only thing he had to his name outside of the Order. She believed it. There was something to him that made her believe that there really wasn't anything else out there for her beautiful, lost man.

She left the safety of his bed, padding across the warm floors and out into the hallway that fed a large central spiral staircase. It extended down all five stories to the basement, where they’d dragged out boxes of files the night before prior to shutting themselves in his office to work.

She hadn’t had the chance to see enough of the beautiful house. Later, when she had a moment, she would explore the place that seemed to be an extension of her Admiral. She would let her hands roam over the banisters, the same way they had caressed across the banded muscles in his thighs as she rode him, giving over her body and heart and soul before she realized that she was.

Red crept silently down his stairs. She followed the sound of fingers on a screen to his office, where they'd spent much of the night before. His uniform jacket was still in a ball on the ground where she'd tossed it after ripping it off him. The papers he'd swept off his desk to make room to lay her on it were still scattered all over the room.

Poe was sat at his desk, hair mussed from sleep. The collar of his threadbare shirt was stretched out, and he played with the edge of it as he studied whatever was on the screen in front of him.

Nothing about him appeared like he was a feared Admiral of the First Order.

When he finally noticed her standing in the doorway, he smiled softly. "Did you sleep okay?"

She padded over to him, easing down into his lap. Something about him put her at ease, when everything about him should have sent her running. Quietly, she threaded her fingers through his hair, tilting his head back so she could gaze into his eyes. “I missed you.” Her admission was quiet, timid, sweet... with no hint of the deadly resistance intel Captain that was actually sitting in his lap.

“Just thought I’d get a head start this morning ‘nd let you sleep.” He’d snuck out of bed before the sun had risen, intending to finish up the packaging of intel that he’d neglected the night before before returning to her. If he had the restraint to resist her, he may have finished the work, but he couldn’t deny himself the little temptations that made him feel alive.

Time had gotten away from him in the early morning hours, as it tended to do.

There was so much more to the war now, and he was no longer the young, energetic try-hard Captain, campaigning for what he believed in no matter the cost.

Things were complicated.

“Come back to bed?” She asked, brushing her lips against his in a soft kiss.

He melted into her touch, softer than he should have been. She could ask him for anything when he was like this, his vulnerable soul left barren for her. “Shouldn’t we finish up?” He murmured, a half-hearted attempt to retain control over himself that he no longer had.

“We should.” She sighed, shifting so she could straddle him. “But I only get you like this for a little longer. That uniform has to go back on eventually.”

“It’s just a uniform.”

“A uniform that keeps me from you.” She kissed his neck as her hands slid under his shirt. Every word fell from her lips like a quiet admission she wasn’t sure she could say, or mean. Not without wrecking everything between them.

“We’ll blow it all to hell. Just need a little more time...”

“I need you.” Her whimpers called him home, her deft fingers tracing his abs under his shirt and bringing the forbidden temptation of her skin flush to his. Her lips on his neck and jaw stole his breath, chasing all thoughts from his mind. “Just a little bit. I’m not ready to give you back.”

“You’re coming with me. You don’t have to. You don’t have to give me back.” His voice was breathy, betraying how touch-starved he truly was.

She kissed him to silence the whimper on his lips, tangling around him. “You don’t belong in the Order.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.” She tugged him close. “I do, baby.”

Something changed in his eyes as the words left her lips, his vulnerability swallowed in something darker, clamouring for control. He gripped her hair, tilting her head back and kissing down her neck, rough and forceful. He needed it the way he needed air in his lungs. The wall he erected around his delicate heart shattered in her presence, and he couldn’t afford it. Not now.

He carried her up the stairs, distracting her with kisses and tearing through the thin clothing on her body. There was nothing gentle about it. Gentle sex gave her the space to break down his walls. Gripping her thighs, he flipped her over and pinned her down, lips at her ears.

“I need you loud for me, honey.” He growled, pulling her hips up into his lap and spreading her pulsing center open to make space for him.

“Poe!” She cried out, forgetting what they were for a moment. All that mattered were his callous-rough hands on her skin and the musk of his breath on her neck. He slid in all the way, not needing to get her ready for him, fucking her in the brutal but sweet way that made the room spin.

He lost himself in her moans, the way she thrashed in his arms as she neared the edge. He almost couldn’t hear her pleas for a break over the sound of her begging for more.

“That’s a good girl.” He murmured, too soft for what they were now, his praise painting her lips.

“Your... your good girl.” she gasped, “I’m yours.”

Red fell back into his arms in the bed, still giggling from the accidental tickles. Twisting so she could see his face, she relaxed, bitting her bottom lip. “Civilian life looks good on you.”

"Y'think so?" He gazed down at her. "This is the first time I've given it a try."

“Lucky me.” She grinned, wrapping her arms around him.

"I think I'd wanna be somewhere warmer. Salient has too much winter." He pulled the blankets up over them both before letting her curl up in his arms.

“Ever been to the old capital?” She hummed, drawing on his chest.

"I haven't been to any of them.” And he wouldn’t have the chance to visit one of them now that the Order had destroyed Hosnian.

“Chandrila is like a never ending summer. If this war leaves it untouched, maybe we can go after it all. Just us.”

"You don't wanna be seen with me." The thought of it was so absurd he snorted. He’d been in enough of the propaganda the Order put out that there would never be peace for him.

“No one has to see us. We can take a boat out to the islands and go swimming and fuck and lay out in the sun.”

She could see it. The warm Chandrilan sun on his tan skin, lighting his eyes. His curls in between her fingers and his lips between her legs. Them, laid out in the open, a far cry from the corners they’d been hiding in for three years.

Poe couldn’t help but indulge her. "We wouldn't even need to bring clothes."

“I think clothes on you should be illegal.” She giggled, scooting over onto his chest and straddling his hips.

"Yeah? I don't think that's part of Pryde's plan. You're welcome to talk to him about it when we transfer, though."

“When I’m done with him, it’ll be his first priority.” She grinned mischievously.

He couldn’t help but melt at how sweet she was. “He would be scared of you, if he saw who you really are."

Her smile softened as she eased down into his arms. She knew he meant it as a compliment, but she couldn’t help but worry. Why she gave a shit what he thought of her, she didn’t know. If it was going to wreck the mission, it would have by now. “Do I scare you?” She asked, her gaze as intense as the pounding of her heart in her chest.

"Yeah," he said softly. "But that's a good thing, right? You're supposed to keep your informants in line?"

“Are you still an informant? I thought we were friends.”

“We are. But you’re here to take down the Order. Same as me.” He poked her forehead. “Agent.” He poked himself in the chest. “Informant.”

She copied him, jabbing him in the chest. “Poe, Red. And right now, we’re just two very hot people in bed together. Naked. Enjoying life.”

“It’d be kinda sexy to call you Agent in bed.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

She laughed, shaking her head. “Anything as long as you don’t call me ma’am.”

“Yes ma’am.”

She punched his shoulder lightly. “Poe!”

“Why don’t you like that one? Bad boyfriend?”

“It makes me feel like my mom.” She made a face like she was grossed out by the thought, warm love for her mother radiating through it.

“Gotcha.” He kissed her lightly. “Your whole ‘young and innocent and beautiful’ look doesn’t exactly give off mom-vibes.”

She pouted. “I think I’d make a beautiful mom.”

He smoothed the wrinkle in her brow with his thumb. “You would. Of course you would. I just meant that you wouldn’t attract clients with Mommy kinks.”

She scrunched her nose. “Not mommy kinks. Breeding kinks though. I don’t mind those.”

He was quiet as he thought about it. “I don’t know if that’s my style. It seems pretty... close. Intimate.” He coughed, like that could make him feel less exposed. “I’m never gonna settle down with anyone so I don’t think I’d be able to handle taunting myself with that, y’know?”

She held his face, bringing herself as close as she could to him. “I’m not either. So maybe we can with each other. Right at the end. That’d be one hell of a way to go out.”

This was her job. Her role, for the Resistance. She had to make him comfortable and keep loyal and Poe understood that. But he had no reason to betray her. There was no risk in buying in. In letting her do what she had to. “It would be.”

The bed was more enticing than the rest of the house — or the rest of the universe — as far as they were concerned. A droid rolled in about an hour later, bringing foods that neither of them would see again once they left their little sliver of civilian life.

He drank caf, with milk in it if that was an option. He liked his eggs cooked through and spice with his dinner. Everything was appetizing to him as long as it wasn’t slimy. The more they rolled around and talked and fucked and snacked, the more human he seemed to her. The war was worlds away, set in another time and another life where her and her Admiral were just simple people living simple lives.

He knew what she was doing. The questions she asked and information she gathered, just set her up to move around him as seamlessly as the air he breathed. When they got where they were going.

If.

Her laughter made him dream of quiet afternoons just like this, with a beautiful girl in his bed. Endless summers in her eyes. With her, he almost didn’t need the Chandrila sun.

“How often do you make it out here?” She asked casually, eating a piece of fruit while sprawled out on his bed, her eyes on his bare ass.

“Not often. Less since my promotion. It’s pretty nice though, hey?” He noticed her gaze and tossed a clean sock at her.

“Great view. I could stay here forever.” She grinned, spinning her finger in the air at himself. “Nope. Turn back around.”

Poe twirled around, showing off like he had a part time job at a strip club. He moved from the hips, putting on a show until he caught her eyes.

It was too vulnerable. All of it.

He pulled a face, sticking his ass out and wiggling his hips.

She tossed the sock, hitting him in the ass. “You’re lucky you’re hot.” She giggled, reaching out for him. “Come back to bed. I won’t get to lay around and fuck you all the time when we get back to your ship.”

“It’s not mine. I’m only an Admiral.” He crawled up the bed to her, slotting himself between her thighs. “But I’ll take advantage of this while I have it.” He gripped her hair in his fist, tilting her head back to expose her throat. His gaze trailed down her as he murmured, “So pretty...”

She growled, flipping him over and devouring him. There was something in the way he held her, kissed her, that told her she could ask anything of him and he would. For her, or the resistance, she didn’t care. As long as he was on the right side of the war.

His words echoed back in her head like a problem she had to solve. The ship wasn’t his.

She could fix that.

#fo!poe dameron #first order poe dameron #fo!poe #poe dameron fic #poe dameron x oc

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kookiepredictions · 4 years ago

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Jungkook’s Real Personality: Prediction

The main thing to remember about Jungkook’s personality is the word Balance. This means 2 things: 1, he has a very complex mix of many different types of personality traits so it is difficult to categorize him as one fixed personality type because he switches and changes a lot according to the situation he is in. 2nd, he needs to constantly work on maintaining balance between all these different traits, many of which are contradictory in nature. Think of him as a juggler juggling many different objects. It means he is capable of juggling so many things at once but it also means that he has to be always careful to keep them balanced otherwise he will face problems.

How is he different from his on screen persona? 1st, he is a lot more mature and intelligent than he is shown. Remember he has a Virgo sun which naturally makes him very calm and responsible, even without trying. He is a very responsible person. If he’s given a task, he will see to its completion to the point that if he can’t do it for some reason, he will think he is useless. It’s very important for him to feel useful, especially for those who he cares about. Also his Leo moon gives him a protective nature which doubles his desire of being there for his loved ones. He is the type of friend, partner, family who will never leave you alone in trouble, he will always be there for you, even if sometimes he doesn’t need to. But there is 1 condition here. He does not like to be manipulated. He hates manipulative behaviour and this grows bigger as he grows older. Jungkook usually is the type of person who speaks less and speaks last. He will always listen more. He will observe more. If you try to manipulate him, he won’t speak out immediately. He will silently watch you first, be completely sure that you are manipulating him without any instigation on his part, and are showing no signs of changing, then he will walk away from you without even looking back, even if you are so much as dying. In fact he can take this anger so far that he would wish for your harm and be happy at your misery. However, he will never actually do anything to harm anyone, even those who hurt him. His anger comes from a place where he deeply feels it is wrong to break someone’s trust so he would wish for your harm so that you can learn your lesson and never break someone’s trust again. I also feel this part of his personality is changing as he matures. In the near future, he will become more vocal right from the start as soon as he sees someone treating him wrong, and quickly decide to break ties instead of staying silent and seething inside. Once he parts ways, he will also let it go quickly and forgive the person, wish them good luck and move on with his life.

This brings me to the point that he has a short temper. It’s not so much that he is quick to anger, it’s more like he tends to hold grudges for a long time. Most of the time, his anger doesn’t even play out as loud outbursts. He is more likely to express his anger by completely shutting you out. He would refuse to even tell you why he is angry but also want you to coax him repeatedly to share his thoughts. Sometimes he could break this pattern and immediately express his anger even at an inappropriate time, but this happens less frequently. The reason of his anger stems from his perfectionism. We all know Jungkook is a perfectionist. And he expects the same level of perfectionism and dedication from everyone around him. His anger is more of an impatience. I won’t be surprised if he mentally says things like, Why are people so slow and clumsy? Why can’t people see the obvious? Why are people so stupid? Like 100 times a day lol typical Virgo male. So Jungkook really mostly gets angry out of impatience. He is a very sincere and dedicated person and gives his 200% in everything so when someone can’t keep up with him, he gets very impatient.

There is also another thing about his anger. Very rarely will he get angry at your first mistake. For example, if you meet him for the first time and say spill a drink on his shirt, he might get a tad annoyed but he will smile let it go. He will even forgive your 2nd, 3rd, 4th mistakes. The point where he gets angry is the point where you have made several mistakes. So when he gets angry you will tend to feel he gets angry too easily but actually he ignored your mistakes for quite a few times before but you didn’t notice nor did you change your behavior. Jungkook tends to observe people for a while and then classify them into categories. His attitude towards you will depend on how he has categorized you, not on your first mistake. So if he has classified someone as a trouble maker, he will easily snap at them, and if he has classified someone as a good person, he will be more patient with them. This classification is not permanent of course and changes with time as per as your behavior. So if Jeon Jungkook treats you badly, be sure that he had given you plenty of chances to redeem yourself and he probably also has the receipts to prove it lol. This classifying system extends to everyone, whether you are a close friend or a stranger. So a waiter spilling drinks on him will be the same as a close friend spilling drinks on him. In fact, the waiter has more chances of being forgiven because it was a genuine first mistake, but a close friend could get yelled at if they repeatedly did this.

Jungkook tends to have very high expectations from those he cares about. But not in a superficial way. It is actually a love language for him. He puts a lot of importance on self development, which he himself follows. So he believes anyone who wants to do well in life should do this and that’s the advice he gives everyone. Remember when he told us to practice because there’s nothing that gets worse with practice? This is a very strong belief in him. But those around him can feel burnt out by his high expectations because not everyone thinks like him right? Especially not all the time. But he often fails to understand this and gets upset because he thinks they are self sabotaging by not focusing on their self improvement. However, this is another thing I see changing in him. He will gradually learn to be more understanding of differences in nature and opinions of people and learn to guide them without overstepping boundaries.

On the other hand, Jungkook knows and respects boundaries. He does not give unsolicited advice. But with him it’s like, he has to be specifically told what the boundaries are. If you are vague, for example, if you go to him asking for advice, he will take it upon himself to fully transform you and will hover over you, almost forcing you to do things his way. His reasoning would be that it was you who came to him for help and this is exactly the help you need. So you have to always show him clear boundaries. But once they have been set, he will always respect it because he is quite independent himself and respects personal space.

Jungkook has a pretty high IQ and he has a really high EQ. He could even be as book smart as Namjoon but it is something he almost chooses not to do. You will notice that he is really good at memorising English lines, he hardly forgets what he memorises. That’s book smart for you. But it’s almost as if he detests being so. He chooses to be street smart instead. His outfits are a reflection of this. It’s a subtle subconscious act of rebellion against system and authority, which he has always sort of felt oppressed by, since he is a K Pop idol. And since he can’t really quit, he takes every small opportunity to establish his individual choice, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Book smart or street smart, Jungkook is someone very thirsty for knowledge. He does actually read more than we know, but he mostly chooses to get his knowledge through more dynamic methods, one of which is by observing other people.

This brings me to the next point. Jungkook is extremely interested in people. He learns a lot, like new concepts, what is right or wrong, new ideas, etc. by observing people, not just in terms of work, but also personality wise. This is why he is so good at imitating people, which makes me think he could also become an actor someday and be successful at it. His high EQ also makes him understand people more than we know.

Although mature, Jungkook is also very childlike in a lot of ways. Especially when he thinks and acts from his heart. He genuinely loves people even before fully knowing them. He simply loves them because loving people is a good thing to do. His love also comes from gratitude. Which is why his love for Armys is so genuine. He does not fake it because he does not need to fake loving or being grateful. It is only when someone gives him a solid reason to be angry or sad with, that he changes his attitude towards them. Jungkook is someone who you can easily walk up to and he will be very polite and nice to you. However, he is not the type to make immediate close friends because he is very reserved and he will carefully screen everyone before allowing them into his private circle. But he is also the type to always smile at his acquaintances and people he regularly sees even if they are not close friends. He won’t ignore anyone just because he doesn’t know them or because they are beneath his level. In this sense Jungkook is very down to earth. He is also quite righteous. He deeply believes that it is wrong to misbehave with people due to their positions in society. I feel like he might have been mistreated when he was not successful (I mean we all know all of BTS was so it’s very likely) which is why he makes sure he doesn’t do that now that he is successful.

Having said that though, Jungkook is not extremely approachable. There is a certain air of unattainabilty that he deliberately keeps around himself. For example, if you met him at a private party or something instead of a televised BTS event, you will clearly know that he is a big celebrity. He doesn’t misbehave with anyone, he is actually quite polite, but people just feel that star aura. It’s almost like a protective shield for him. You couldn’t approach him unless he clears that air and makes himself approachable. Otherwise you will just look at him from far away, admire him (or hate him) and go away. This is not something he does to belittle others, this is a defence mechanism against those that try to get close to him to get some benefit off of him or manipulate him, which he is actually quite aware of.

Jungkook is not easily manipulated as I discussed earlier. But he always puts up a front as if he is extremely vulnerable and gullible so that people underestimate him and show their true colors quickly. Meanwhile he observes, classifies, and moves on before you could even tell what happened there.

When I say Balance is a big challenge for him it’s because he has many different personality traits that directly contradict each other. For example, he’s a careful planner but he also gets bored of routine very quickly. He takes each decision very slowly but sometimes he will be shockingly spontaneous. He is independent but he is also clingy. All of these are parts of him but it’s almost as if he struggles to keep up with them because he doesn’t know which one will come out when. Achieving balance and control over all of his different qualities will make him a truly unique and unstoppable person.

Besides balance, the biggest challenge Jungkook has is his rigidity of beliefs. He has very good intentions, good energy and drive, but he has to learn to be more flexible and adaptive, both when dealing with his work and people. He also tends to have a scarcity mentality which often manifests his worst fears into reality. The more he wants to avoid certain things, the more they come up in his life, simply because he is constantly living in fear.

Jungkook has a very strong heart chakra. He is literally love personified. He loves love. He loves to see it and he loves to experience it. It’s an adventure he yearns for. But his fear always takes him away from it. Either in terms of problems in his relationships or breakups or interferences and scandals. In spite of that, he always bounces back and his heart chakra heals pretty quickly. Not in a promiscuous way where he is serial dating. This is more like his heart is always a place for true love, it does not store any negative energy for too long. This is why Jungkook’s biggest successes will result from decisions he takes based on his deep feelings. This is also because he has a habit of overthinking so feelings can solve this problem. For example, if he has to take a big work decision, he tends to overthink it from all directions and get confused because every option seems right. But if he listens to his feelings about it, he will find the right answer. Operating from his heart chakra will also make him centered and grounded to achieve that required balance between his many personality traits.

Another big tool at Jungkook’s disposal is his throat chakra. Jungkook is very communicative. He believes that the foundation of all good relationships, the solution to all problems is communication. However, he struggles with timing and empathy quite often. He sometimes says the right things at the wrong time creating misunderstandings that he did not intend. Or stays silent that allows people to paint a wrong picture of him. He also sometimes fails to see things from others’ points of view and tends to see his thoughts and beliefs as the be all and end all.

His biggest tools also have the biggest blocks. It’s like his heart chakra is this huge power generator inside him but it’s blocked because he keeps it shut or underutilized and lets his brain do all the work, which is only half his power and potential. And his throat chakra is blocked because he is too worried about other people’s judgement of him which blocks his flow of communication.

However, the biggest strength of Jungkook and my favorite thing about him is that he is very open minded and willing to learn. He is rigid with his thoughts only when he truly believes he is in the right. If you can logically and respectfully show him where he is wrong, he will immediately proceed to change his ways. He is a true lifelong learner and this is what will ultimately lead him to massive success. He is proud only with things that he believes to be right, as he has a very strong set of values. But he doesn’t let pride get in the way of self development, in fact he is always on the lookout for opportunities that will improve him in some way or the other.

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #bts jungkook #bts jeongguk #jungkook prediction

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tereishqnachaya · 4 years ago

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lol every time I see any post complaining about Ji Pyeong being harsh to the poor baby Do San all I do is chuckle to myself and say, “but did he lie though?”

Han Ji Pyeong has a tough way of speaking to everyone. He was lowkey Dal Mi too for not making the better choice for her company i.e. choosing Alex as the mentor. Why is he being blamed for speaking the truth? It really is not his business if someone gets hurt after being shown the mirror. Also..it’s not HJP is totally against the possibility of being proven wrong. Didn’t DalMi go against his advice? And he didn’t contest her decision. He let her be. Because DM, before going against his advice, also proved that she did listen to him as well. She just chose to use his advice a little bit more unconventionally. And HJP respected that. As she respected him. This hints to a more constructive partnership between the two (as mentor-mentee) as HJP wouldn’t just be rattling off advises to DM that she’d be noting in her handbook to solve her problems. She will use her own ideals to interpret his advice and take decisions that better suit her business sense.

After all, she is the CEO.

What has NDS done? Except proving JP wrong by winning the CODA competition, JP has yet to either take any action or make any decision that will show JP that NDS has it what it takes to be considered a serious businessman. NDS once again saying with full confidence that him and DM will never have any conflict in the future after having a legit fallout with his two best friends over the issue of shares was just....pray tell me how is Han Ji Pyeong supposed to take Nam Do San seriously?

I see a lot of “HJP disrespects NDS” but never enough “NDS doesn’t give HJP the respect he deserves” around me. well, i won’t hesitate in saying that.

ANYWAY. this post was supposed to be about something else.

Park Hye Ryun dramas are always based in the idealistic versions of the fields she chooses to base her stories in. Defense lawyers (I Hear Your Voice), Pinocchio (TV journalism), While You Were Sleeping (Prosecution) - her dramas tend to be quite removed from reality. Start Up is following the same pattern except this time its based in the world of tech startups and VC. These things come under the larger capitalistic world and it’s just...hard to believe that the idealistic morals of our good guys will make them survive in the long run. Maybe I am being too harsh but earlier this year Itaewon Class quite brilliantly showed the world of giant corporations and the power they hold and how a single small business has to make tough decisions to survive. For that the person in charge has to be tough and ready to make those decisions. However, Start Up is showing the actual tough guy as the “bad guy” here cuz he hurts the poor hero’s feelings by his truth and I am just....I just really can’t feel it ya know?

#start up #biwi wont let me rant to her so i'll be ranting here xD #the ranting will stop when i drop the show which i hope is soon!

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catboysimulator · 4 years ago

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Story Two - Daily Grind

In the early morning of the desert, the weather feels warm yet fresh against one’s skin. In the wee hours of dawn is when the Seekers of the Sankres begin to awaken, eager to begin their day while the Keepers continue to rest after having turned in only an hour or two prior. Fortunately, the Keepers are quite used to the Seekers’ morning routine of sound-offs, some hooting and others chirping, while the rest bellow and lazily roar.

Coming out of their adobe homes after getting ready for the day, they are all prepared and eager to finish their workload. The inner machinations of the tribe work like the simplest, yet most efficient, well-oiled machine. Not one person works alone, every Sankre is integral to the pride for things to operate smoothly. Whether it is tending to the farm, taking care of the little ones, feeding the Gryphons, repairing, cleaning, cooking… The list goes on, and on.

After his arrival, Azhi’li had no idea just where his place was. Everyone worked so easily, as though it was complete second nature. Azhi’li was itching to work, to do something, yet he was worried about trying to offer his help, afraid of making a mess of things.

Of course, that was only after the first month or so of his arrival. He still feels a bit out of place, but he has gotten much more comfortable.

“Good morning, Zizi!” a crowd of little voices chime eagerly, screaming and laughing ringing throughout the caverns as a pile of young miqo’te crowd and climb onto Azhi’li. The red Seeker laughs in amusement as the children cling onto him, lolling their heads back as they tug at their cousin.

“Good mornin’, little ones! C’mon, y’all, get back down! Y’know very well I ain’t a tree!” he chastises them, yet his tone is purely amused. Still, the children listen, getting off Azhi’li and lining up, theatrically puffing up their chests and saluting the older Seeker by pounding their chests with their little fists. The older Seeker couldn’t help but bark out in laughter, rolling his eyes with a giant toothy grin while the young ones also laughed and lightly shoved at each other.

“Alright, come on. Let’s all head on over to the trainin’ grounds, yeah?”

Leading them along, the little miqo’te followed their cousin like little ducklings in a row, chattering amongst themselves.

“What are we going to learn today?”

“I don’t know! Maybe he’ll show us how to split rocks with our BARE HANDS!”

“Or maybe show us how to split the EARTH!”

“Oh, oh! What about if he--?!”

“Hey, hey! Come on, guys, cut me some slack! That’s all a bit too much ta be learnin’ right now, don’t ya think?” Azhi’li quipped in return while the children whined and asked, “So what are you going to show us today?”

“Mm… Well, before we start, how ‘bout we do some stretches, yeah? Come on! Early mornin’ stretches! Th’more relaxed ya are, th’better you’ll learn!”

As soon as that was said, the young ones were quick to quit their questions and move on to do as told. Once their 10 minutes of stretching regiments were completed, Azhi'li let out a "whew!" before grinning towards the kids and pumping his fists. "Alright, li'l pugilists! Let's get started t'day, aye?"

"Aye!" they repeated before laughing excitedly.

It has been this way for a few sennights now, where Azhi'li would show the children what he knows, ever since his uncle G'sena told him of their history.

"We were built on the backs of monks, you know," Sena informed him with a gentle smile. "Our ancestors were refugees of Ala Mhigo during the time of King Theodric, when he razed the Temple of the Fist. What few miqo'te that had been under Rhalgr's teachings escaped to Thanalan, and made our home the way it is today. They carved the sides of the mountains with their hands to make our home, and gave us the Sun." He gestured up towards Azeyma's watch.

"Yet, the people here have long since forgotten our monkhood, and we have instead taken upon blades and shields, bows and axes, staves and chakrams. No one here has encountered a monk ever since your father, and even then he was not taught the way you were. We have soulstones, but no one uses them, nor has used them for many summers," he explained further, holding a box within his hands. "No one can open the box without the blessing of our matron. Yet... I believe with you here, Dhezi, you might manage to rekindle that fire within our people and the matron. And the best place to start with that, if you are interested, is with the younger generation."

"I could see that you are feeling a bit out of place still, so this might be a great opportunity for you to get in touch with your cousins... What do you think, Dhezi?"

Ever since that conversation with uncle Sena, Azhi'li had volunteered to take care of the little ones who were interested in pugilism. He wanted to take them through the steps he had first learned back in Ul'dah with the pugilist's guild, and fortunately they all seemed to be taking in the lessons quite well.

For the ones who didn't understand or seemed to struggle a bit more than the rest, Azhi'li was sure to be patient with and take his time teaching them. He knows he has plenty of time here, plenty of time to learn more of his family and to teach them what he knows, as well as learn about what they know.

This is his home.

---------------------------

After training, he takes the little ones to have lunch. Moving into the kitchens, he cooks them up some aldgoat stew, the same way Mama Azhi used to make it for him. He wears a bittersweet smile on his lips the entire time he cooks, soft hums escaping him as his tail sways slowly behind him.

The children wait outside at the tables for their food, while Azhi'li is joined by some older miqo'te. Sunkissed, sunworn; the crinkles on their face creasing as they smile towards Azhi'li. "Dhezi, dear, that smells wonderful. Is there any way we can help?"

"Ah! No, y'don't have ta--," he stammers out, before one of them chuckles and places a gentle hand upon his arm. "We would like to."

That makes the red Seeker pause before smiling a bit sweeter, nodding. "Alright. Let's make enough fer everyone, yeah?"

And so they cooked together, making steaming pots of aldgoat stew. The smell wafted out from the kitchens out into the caverns, bringing in many Sankres from each corner. A feast was not really planned out, but, here they are, passing out bowls to everyone so they can all eat together.

Sharing a warm, hearty meal like this, surrounded by so many people who are considered his family... It feels so strange, honestly, with how many there are-- yet, it is not an unwelcome feeling. These strangers are warm, kind, considerate, and caring to someone who they were meant to know all their lives, yet only just met. It helps Azhi'li relax, helps him realize that these people are indeed meant to be his family.

The caverns are full of laughing, smiling faces. Warmed by Azeyma's rays, as well as embraced by Menphina's light. This is not the type of tribe people have always warned him about back in Ul'dah, ever since he was a kid. Truly, what farfetched lies and stereotypes he was fed.

---------------------------

"What're ya making, Zizi?"

Approached by a young miqo'te, G’luna, Azhi'li looks up from his craft before offering a gentle grin. "Wanna see?"

"Yeah!" The little one's too-large-for-their-head's ears perk up and his giant, round eyes widen considerably as he steps closer and peers down at what Azhi'li was doing.

Weaving beads together, Azhi'li held onto the string carefully before lifting it to show the curious one.

"Oh! You're making a necklace?"

"Well, makin' that 'nd more. There's a lot of tagua that tio Sena told me about, 'nd the abuelitos showed me how to make jewelry out of them, so..."

"Why are you making so many, though? Do you like to wear them?"

"I do! But these are not for me. They are for m'friends 'nd family."

"... But we are right here? And we already have enough?"

Azhi'li couldn't help but to laugh lightly, nodding. "Ya are, 'nd ya do! But, I'm talkin' 'bout m'other friends 'nd family outside of the Sankres. I have more brothers 'nd mamas that aren't here, y'know!"

"More brothers? Why aren't they here, then?"

"Mm, b'cause they have their own family."

"... I don't get it."

"Haha, that's okay. So, y'know how y'have yer friends, right?" Azhi'li inquires while smiling, continuing to polish some more tagua before weaving them with string. Luna nods.

"Well, I have many friends. People who are not related to me, yet that I know and that I enjoy th'company of. Some a'those people I consider very close, closer than anyone else that I know... so they're like family to me, too. Yer family doesn't only have ta consist of th'people y'were born with, but they can be yer friends, too."

"-- Oh. Okay, I think I understand, now. So, my best friend can be family, too?"

"Well, why not?"

"I dunno."

"So then what would stop ya from callin' 'em such?"

"... Nothing?"

Azhi'li would give them a toothy grin at that, nodding. The young one released a small 'ooh' of revelation, before shifting to sit beside the older Seeker. "... Can I help you make these? How many are you making?"

"Aw, hey, a'course y'can. I'm makin' lots! I gotta make some fer Toadie, Miss Rei, K'ilhi, Mama Azhi, Zi'a, Zi'to... Miss Nana, Ryska, Si'ra, Livia, Latika'a, Yato... ... Poki," he murmurs towards the end, his voice growing smaller the more names he listed. The names he missed more and more as the days went by.

The little one canted their head to the side, looking up at Azhi'li with brows pinched upwards. "Zizi?"

He hadn't realized it, but globs of tears were pouring down his face. He takes in a sharp breath, lifting a paw to wipe at his eyes while muttering, "Sorry, 'm sorry."

Wordlessly, G'luna shifted onto their knees, shuffling closer to Azhi'li and embracing him warmly. "Papa always told me to never apologize for tears, he says they are blessings of one's love."

With a nod, the red Seeker shifted to return the embrace, taking a few moments of deep breaths before pulling away and stroking Luna's head. "Thank you, prime. ... Well, let's make the prettiest collares y pulseras for everyone, hm?"

"Yeah!"

#zizi's arc #story time #azhi

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alchemist-shizun · 5 years ago

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Why and wherefore

Ts taglist: @whizzie72 @sapphire-knight @burningpersonflapsuitcase @softanxiouspatton @royallyanxious @kim-argent-moon @lance-alt @suffering-is-my-comfort-zone @sometimeswritingsometimesdying @pushussmollworld @mylifeisadeceit @spooky-scary-virgil @angstyfanfiction @artissijam @logicalberry @pistachio-lan @roses-bubbles (tell me if you want to be added or removed)

Specific fic taglist: @princessnoodlebug @pinkie-does-fandoms @punsandpodcasts @aceacebaby12345 @not-so-daily-deceit-doodles @pleasantpostmoon @justanotherfanderwriter @mudpuddlenl @sapphic-nd @linhammon-roll-bromance101 @sar-kasstic

Word Count: 2,662

Characters: Mainly Deceit, Virgil and Remus, other sides and Thomas are there briefly.

Pairing(s): Everything's platonic babes

Warning(s): Paranoia, anxiety, angst, crying, fear of abandonment, overthinking, internalizing emotions (tell me if I missed anything)

Summary: Necklaces shared for a never ending friendship. One that paused, but never stopped glowing under dark cloth. And one that, eventually, will shine in the light again.

A/N: Oof I'm so late! Happy birthday to Deceit, this is in his honour, of course I could only gift him angst. I hope y'all like it, it didn't turn out how I expected it to, but maybe you can appreciate it more than me. That said, enjoy!

✾

❝ Take your time, take it from me.

It ain't yours, and nothing comes free.

I'll keep your time 'til someone can see,

When the beat hits your feet,

Aren't you lost and lonely? ❞

Thump, thump, thump.

Virgil jolted up, despite being awake for as long as he had tried to put himself to sleep. No matter how hard he forced his eyes and mind to shut, his breathing and heartbeat wouldn't slow down.

What if, his thoughts told him, driving him sick, what if they abandoned you?

He brought his hands to his face and dug his nails onto his forehead as though to shut that voice up.

They did already, didn't they? Virgil growled, not wanting to believe that, you're in the dark by yourself. They don't want you. You're alone.

That one last line stuck with him and replayed everywhere, in front of him, written on the walls, on the stars. Howling in the wind there was loneliness.

His only loyal companion.

Tears had just started streaming down his face when the door of his room opened with a soft click.

Virgil looked at his side and found Deceit turning on his bedside lamp before focusing on the kid half-trembling on the mattress.

« Hey, sweetie. » his melodious voice had an instant calming down effect.

He reached out and moved from his face a lock of hair which was hiding his eyes. Virgil sniffed one last time.

« Had a nightmare? » Deceit's tone changed to a bittersweet one.

This kid shook his head and gripped at the covers tighter.

« Are you going to leave? »

« Oh, Virgil. » Deceit's expression possibly softened more, he then took Virgil's hands and smiled at him, capturing his attention with his eyes. « There will never be a reason for me to do that. » he reassured.

But Virgil wasn't convinced. He stopped crying, yet his gaze fell to the ground.

Deceit looked around, searching for something to spark an idea into him.

« Listen here. » he finally said, gaining a glance from Virgil. « Would you like something to remind you I'll always be here? »

Anxiety seemed to genuinely reflect, he would have made a good use of a material object for when he couldn't reach out to anyone.

He nodded.

« How about this? » Deceit cupped his hands, everything around his palms and fingers glowed of a bright light that blinded both of their eyes.

As it died, it revealed two necklaces with different coloured and shaped pendants, one of a two-headed snake and a storm cloud with a lightning bolt.

Deceit handed Virgil the yellow one. « You can have my symbol, so it can comfort you whenever you need me. » he asserted. The kid let the necklace fall gently in his palms, eyes widened with the surprise of such a treasure.

« Are they like the bracelets you and Remus share? » he questioned while his fingers worked on undoing the lock of his new accessory.

Deceit helped him in the process until it finally hanged around his neck. « Sort of. » he allowed with a small nod.

He smiled to himself as Virgil admired the pendant.

« As for me, » he then continued, undoing his own storm cloud necklace. « I'll wear this for as long as you're important to me. » his hand lingered on the purple cloud. « Which I know is a time that will never end. »

Virgil smiled softly and surged forwards to wrap his arms around Deceit's chest. The other returned the hug, maybe a bit tighter than needed, such was his fondness for the side.

« Do you need me to stay for the night? »

« No, it's okay. » Virgil loosened the embrace, then brushing the chain of his necklace. « I have you here, anyway. » he laid back down on his bed, satisfied with the gift.

After kissing his forehead and tucking his sheets, Deceit wished him a goodnight and went back to tend to his own tasks in the peace of the night.

✾

Deceit couldn't understand.

They had worn them proudly for years.

No matter what they were doing, where they were going, their necklaces were always with them, or at least by their side.

So he couldn't understand it when Virgil had come back to the dark sides' living room with no sign of the trademark yellow snake shining on his shirt.

It had brought Deceit's mood down, especially when Anxiety so nonchalantly talked to him and Remus, not realizing his deed.

Yet, he didn't speak up about it.

He simply bit his tongue and tasted bitter displeasure.

It wasn't like the end of the world was upon him, and maybe that didn't mean anything at all or perhaps he had really been overthinking it too much.

But what if he was right?

Or still completely wrong: it could have meant a completely positive thing! Virgil didn't need reassurance anymore, he didn't need a constant reminder anymore, he didn't … need him anymore.

So the tormenting feeling loomed over Deceit before he was able to defeat it entirely.

Multiple questions of inevitable impending doom filled his thinking loud enough for him to be unable to follow the conversation.

He was clearly overreacting, wasn't he?

Virgil had noticed his change in demeanour over time, the almost imperceptible shift he had made.

He asked Deceit whether he was okay or not, called him back into the conversation when he zoned out, tried to confront him on multiple occasions with no success whatsoever.

He had also stopped him once, tugging at his sleeve before he could get away. Virgil was used to do that, always too timid to speak up first.

Deceit turned to face him, who calmly stared back at him, trying his best to mask his suspicion.

« What's wrong? » Virgil's voice was so low it struggled to come out.

Deceit shrugged. « I don't know. Everything's okay. » as much as lying was his thing, he had refrained from doing it during a serious conversation before.

« I'm not so sure about that. » Anxiety's gaze fell to the floor.

« You think there's something wrong? »

« I guess, I mean- you … » he gesticulated, unable to express himself.

« So it's me. » who would've thought.

« I don't know! » Virgil's tone got louder with exasperation. « You're just so off lately. »

« Care to elaborate? » Deceit squinted his eyes, sounding neutral as ever, which never let Virgil understand whether he was stepping in the right or wrong direction.

« You don't tell me what's on your mind anymore. » there it was. « You avoid any conversation about your feelings or issues, just like you were doing right now. » Virgil's mouth scrunched. « It's like you don't trust me. Like everything changed at once and … I don't know. » he was wearing the necklace that day. Deceit found it hypocritical. « Did I do something wrong? »

« No. »

« Then what is it? » he urged, he couldn't just roam in the oblivion much longer.

« It's nothing, like I told you. » Deceit's own voice got higher, but kept up the act. There was no way he was going to let him know.

Virgil brushed his hands on his face, defeated. « Do you just want me to leave you alone? » he finally asked, eyes slightly wider.

« Yes! »

Silence. Silence because Deceit thought he could have stopped himself when he didn't. When he should have.

And he was going to regret it.

« Okay. » Virgil murmured and stood up from his seat. « Alright. » he left the room without sparing a single glance for him.

Deceit blinked multiple times and reached for his pendant, which was now digging in his palm. There was a slight shot of pain while he reminded himself that it was just a bad day and Virgil was going to forget and those tears pooling in his eyes weren't necessary and he could have let his emotions go numb so he couldn't suffer.

He let go of the pendant, breathed out deeply and everything was fine.

Everything was fine.

✾

Remus had been helpful. Truly helpful, if only Deceit wasn't so stubborn.

He tried to get help, get suggestions and then never acted on them. Which then became his point to never ask for opinions: why would you let others down with your inaction when you could just … bottle it up and never bring it up again?

Deceit was going to learn why it was wrong the hard way.

Remus had suggested to talk to Virgil, let him know of all his paranoid thoughts, and he was kind of convinced.

But when the air felt too cold and constricting around them whenever they were together, it was simply impossible.

And it was also too late.

There was a door they never opened, one that led to the light sides' part of the mindscape.

That day, Virgil opened it and he wasn't wearing his usual clothes, nor the necklace.

Remus and Deceit stared at him, one in silent disbelief, the other was … too indescribable.

« Are you going to leave? » said like a mother to a son on a Saturday night, but with a completely different meaning.

Virgil stared back at Deceit with a dull expression, the same neutral glare that had glanced back at him until then. « I don't think you should wear that necklace anymore. »

He closed the door behind himself and left the sore aura to dawn on the remaining sides.

« Dee? »

Deceit was staring ahead of himself.

There, he had ruined everything. Not only he had just lost Virgil, but also disappointed Remus for not following his suggestions.

« Deceit? »

He was going to be mad, he was going to fight with him and then leave too.

You wanted to be left alone, didn't you?

« Hoi. » Deceit looked up at him and realized he was pushing the pendant into his skin again.

With a swift movement, he pulled the necklace to the side and broke the chain free from his neck, then threw it and let it fall onto the other side of the couch.

Deceit got up and marched to his room.

Remus picked up the necklace, a sour look still painting his face with bitterness; he started to fix the chain and ultimately sighed.

« When are you going to give a proper reaction? »

He left the necklace by his room and then headed to the imagination.

There was a lot of stuff he needed to vent.

✾

Not many days had passed. However, they were all the same and neither had gotten used to it.

Deceit was at the kitchen counter, like every other morning, and Remus was trying to get his attention, like in every other interaction they had.

« You're not wearing your necklace? »

« No. » Deceit's moves were almost mechanical, his voice low, half-lidded eyes careless of where they set upon.

« Lies. » Remus reached out and gently pulled the chain out from under Deceit's clothes. « You're also internalizing everything. »

« I'm not. »

« Lies, yet again. » he got up from his seat and faced him, forcing Deceit to focus on him. He put his hands on Deceit's shoulders. « Are you okay, D? »

« Of course. » he heard his voice crack, maybe those were tears in his eyes and for only an instant Remus hoped he could make him open up.

« You don't only speak in lies, huh? »

Remus pulled him in a hug that could have only grown tighter. Deceit felt his entire body shake before he returned it and sank into the embrace, gripping at his back like a lifesaver.

He hiccuped, then sobbed and cried out any and all negative emotions that were poisoning his insides.

Deceit buried his head in the other's clothes so to not see his own reality and be aware of his current condition.

What was really good of Remus, was that he really didn't care much about certain trivial things. He didn't care when his clothes got wet with tears, he didn't care if Deceit spoke through hiccups, if he was barely able to stand on his feet.

« It just … » Remus had led him to sit on the couch with a cup of tea in his hands. « It feels like he left something here. »

« What do you mean? »

Deceit showed a sad smile. « I've kept driving myself anxious because of all the paranoid thoughts that never leave my mind. » he explained, staring at the white swirls in his tea. « It just feels like he's around. »

« Like when he couldn't control his powers when he first came here. » Remus chuckled.

« Yeah, and Orange started being afraid of everything. » a genuine smile spread on Deceit's lips.

Dark Creativity snorted. « He was scared of his own shade! » he couldn't help but burst out in a boisterous laughter, infecting his friend.

Which then led to tears. « Holy fuck. » Remus's own smile faltered and he wiped away the tears, though more came, and he found himself crying, too.

Deceit extended an arm out to him, inviting him to sit next to him.

They were silent for a while, letting the realization sink in.

« Will Orange leave his room anytime soon? »

« I don't know. »

« Should we check on him? »

« Yeah, let's. »

« And also, » Remus's expression returned serious altogether as he got up. « I think we should start showing up to Thomas. »

✾

Joy, joy and satisfactory bliss he almost couldn't believe he had reached.

Deceit was looking at five smiling faces and they were staring back at him with no bad intent, with no subtext of conflict.

It wasn't a dream, it wasn't an act and it wasn't a lie. This time, he had done it.

Thomas had finally accepted him as a true necessary part of himself and he had managed to resolve his issues with the other sides.

He still almost couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe how those happy and proud gazes were all directed to him, and yet he could have bathed in the sunshine happiness radiating from each of them.

« Lying can be good. » Thomas asserted, nodding and still smiling, his look soft and welcoming, his hands clasped together in an unordinary position. « I know you're looking out for me now. Thank you. »

Deceit breathed out, enjoying this new state of comfort he was going to adapt to. He didn't know what to say anymore, he didn't even realize he could have gotten that far.

But it was okay, because when he intercepted Virgil's eyes, he noticed he wanted to talk to him.

Virgil opened his mouth only to close it again and squint his eyes at the ground. Okay, he thought, I can do this.

He reached for something under his shirt and pulled out the necklace Deceit had gifted him that one night when he had needed him most. And he was there for him.

Just as much as Virgil was now there for him to support the new perspective they had of him.

Deceit's hand ghosted over his own necklace, at which he started tugging afterwards. « You're wearing it? » he looked in the exact amount of disbelief as the others, only that the others' leaned to confusion, while his own was a firework of contentment.

Virgil smiled wider. « I never stopped. »

And then, seeing Deceit's expression growing more incredulous, he added, echoing the other's own old words. « There will never be a reason for me to do that. »

This time, the one to be convinced, despite the tears in his eyes, was Deceit.

#purp's writings #deceit sanders #ts deceit #sanders sides deceit #remus sanders #ts remus #virgil sanders #ts virgil #character thomas #sanders sides #fanfiction #ts fanfic #deceit's birthday #angst #read the warnings

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its-jijii · 5 years ago

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chuuya’s masculinity

i was talking to hannah and thinking about the whole chuuya feminine/masculine debate and decided its time to write an essay on this. i have been waiting for the opportunity. and now my thoughts are gathered, so prepare for a mildly frustrated tangent abt the portrayal of chuuya in canon and in fan-made things.

i think that there are a lot of factors in play that influence how people see chuuya, the main one being canon content of course. in the manga, i do not get the vibe that he is feminine or weak in any way; in fact, he’s very aggressive and his stance indicates that he does not intend to be viewed as less. i will agree that the anime portrays him as more feminine: he has a higher pitched voice, and he is short.

my problem with this is both the people who take that as being feminine, and the people who try to say chuuya is not feminine or weak. i don’t enjoy seeing chuuya in dresses not because i view it as feminine and therefore weak- rather, the circumstances of the source that makes me dislike it. for instance, primarily when he is drawn in dresses, he is clearly annoyed and doesn’t like it. i believe that to be because despite his “feminine” body type, his personality is very masculine. the way he acts and speaks does not imply that he is weak or feminine in any way.

my thought process isn’t dress = feminine = weak, so chuuya in a dress = weak, but in contrast, he is doing nothing about it. he is out of his comfort zone and obviously doesn’t enjoy it, yet he always seems compliant in wearing a dress. all of that is also usually for dazai’s entertainment, in some way. same thing when i see scenarios of them on an undercover mission together. one always dresses up like a girl, and that is usually chuuya. that is still because people equate his height and body type with girls, which makes sense to a certain degree, but one i still disagree with.

chuuya’s body type has almost nothing to do with being feminine, in my opinion. subconsciously people equate his height with femininity, which is not really the case. i don’t think they are necessarily equating his body with that of a girls and determining its weak. rather, they likely look at his height and body build and think “that’s weak.” that has no direct relation to being feminine, nor is it true. i think everyone knows he is far from weak, he is just never portrayed in the way he should be: masculine and dominant.

his body type being feminine does not change the fact that he is strong and fit; his outfit doesn’t exactly show that off, so his features can be dumbed-down to long hair, cute face, and curves. this is completely disregarding his personality and actions, which annoys me considerably. in people there are often traits that are tied together- outgoing and dominant, quiet and submissive- and there are actions that tie into those categories, too. people on the quiet and introverted side tend to curl up and take up as little space as possible. extroverts assume a position that takes up more space (called power posing)

“power posing” is a stance that indicates that the person is comfortable and confident. many times i have noted that despite chuuya being small, he does tend to stand in ways that take up more space. just from his body language, you can tell that he feels strong and in control. the art and scenarios of him unhappily sitting in a dress for someone else’s entertainment, but doing nothing to get out of the dress? that shows he is yielding to someone else, which is incredibly unlike him.

more chuuya in high power pose positions here lol

the reason i believe a lot of people think of chuuya as feminine ties into how he was introduced and how dazai treats him. upon his introduction in the dungeon, he is shown as a powerful and confident character. to me it seems that the first impression he made, which was asserting dominance and strength over dazai, was erased somewhere along the way. well, dazai happened to plot things out in advance, and later felt like he had the upper hand on chuuya. so despite chuuya’s strength and intentions, in the end he was rendered powerless by dazai. and to finish that off, he ended up pretending like he was a very feminine girl for dazai’s amusement.

his initially strong introduction was overwritten by the funny scene where chuuya acted like a girl. chuuya continues being masculine and dominant throughout the series, but oh so often is ending up following what dazai wants, or used as the object of dazai’s jokes. in the end, that rubs off on people so they think of him as less than dazai. his voice actor and the way he is animated likely ties in the thoughts of him being feminine, and when combined, people tend to think of him as either feminine, weak, or both.

it seems that no matter how this argument is presented, i find fault with it. even when people state that femininity =/= weakness, i feel that they are not presenting it right at all. i understand where they are coming from, but from my standpoint it isn’t as in depth as it should be (which i guess is why i’m writing this lol). maybe im overthinking things i accidentally analyze stuff and feel disappointed when people post unpopular opinions with nothing to back it up 😭

lastly, slight nsfw warning? (discussing top bottom stuff nothing explicit)

the entire top/bottom debate regarding soukoku also exhausts me. i believe chuuya to be a top, but again not because i equate being a bottom with being weak or submissive. power bottoms are a thing. however, i do acknowledge that there is a power difference between tops and bottoms- tops have considerably more control over the situation than bottoms do. and that is where i believe people have misconceived notions of whether he is a top or a bottom. on some level they do associate him with being a bottom, likely due to his size and believed inferiority to dazai. as dazai always seems to be ahead of chuuya, isn’t it only natural that dazai would be in control and would top?

w r o n g you can’t convince me dazai isn’t a lazy bottom, at best a switch. he does not seem like he would enjoy putting forth the required effort for topping. additionally, dazai himself isn’t exactly dominant or controlling. often he is relied on and respected, yes, but he only really tries to dominate and control chuuya as a way to harass him. chuuya on the other hand is outwardly dominant and likes being in control of a situation- and above all, hates doing what dazai wants. so even if chuuya was ever to bottom, no way in hell would i believe that he’d do it with dazai. he would not want to surrender control to him unless absolutely necessary.

additionally, i guess i just see chuuya as an active person. bottoms don’t seem to really do much,, they are on the receiving end of it all, so they often aren’t controlling the situation or moving around. it is hard for me to imagine chuuya to be the type to sit around and take something like that. it is much more reasonable to me to believe that he would rather be the one in control, and the one actually moving and doing things. if talking in the terms of soukoku, that seems doubled in my eyes. chuuya is far more physically capable than dazai, and likely has better stamina too. dazai would be one lousy top lol

thank u for reading! ive always thought about this, as there was a lot of art and fanfics that were the opposite of the impression i got from chuuya. to me, chuuya has always radiated big dick energy, top/dominant vibes, etc. i love chuuya and its not really a big surprise to me that my first post/analysis regarding him is talking about his masculinity haha. it’s always been a hot topic for me to think about and talk to my friends about.

i apologize for the lack of posting & original content rn ;; still con crunching for ota this weekend, and then i will be at the beach for a week. so i’ll probably just be reblogging art nd stuff when i can. hopefully ill get back to writing and posting normally after im not ultra mega busy. edit: forgot to say earlier but thank u for 200 followers! didn’t really expect anyone to care for my content but it means a lot to me

#chuuya #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #bsd chuuya #chuuya bsd #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd manga #bsd analysis #chuuya analysis #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #dazai #bsd dazai #soukoku #is chuuya a top or a bottom?#find out in this rant #brought to you by sleep deprived me

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sabotager-k · 5 years ago

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I love your style! But I'm not familiar with your character, so you can ramble on as much about yourself as you like. ^^

HMMM OKAY WHERE TO START

so, on a most basic level K is a defective and rebel who really REALLY hates Red and Purple, and really likes Zim, she's clever and that trait is usually clear to others, but she's also pretty goofy and extremely unpredictable, I made her so that she could be flexible and be thrown into a whole bunch of situations easily and have her backstory be easily changeable without changing her overall character, THAT BEING SAID I have a favourite version of her past... which actually happens to be the only version that is fleshed out and that is this:

as a young smeet K was like, insanely tall, so much that I guess she was like... bumped up in her age group that she ended up being around Zim nd Red and Purple and everyone, and for a long time she either exceeded or matched Red and Purple in height... and then one day she just stopped growing, which already made her resent R&P for passing her in height, which was made worse by them making fun of her, I don't really have any details for her early life past that, but when Red and Purple became the Tallest she just kinda snapped and decided that she would refuse to follow them and rebel, so that's what she did, she ended up on a planet as a regular soldier and kinda, blew everyone up I guess, she sabotaged that battle (and her having that thought is probably when she self appointed herself the title Sabotager-K) and talked to whoever the Empire was fighting to like, tell them her whole deal I guess, her rebellion is at first just a result of her grudge against Red and Purple but the more she travels the more she like, enjoys seeing other species and what they create and starts to gain more compassion, even if she looks down on most individuals and considers herself superior, though that starts to fade into less of a trait she has regarding her being Irken and moreso regarding her being herself as she starts to also look down on her own species

so she eventually ends up on earth somehow, I usually think of it as an accident, like she got list or her ships coordinates got messed up and she ended up near this planet that she detected Irken technology on, so she goes to investigate. I feel like she finds Tak's ship first since like it's been stated that its more powerful and detectable than Zim's base haha, she probably suspects Dib is an Invader maybe, but probably only gathers the information that he goes to Skool and then just decides she'll infiltrate that place nd confront him somehow? idk but she comes up with her lil cat hologram disguise, mostly cause she thinks humans are ugly, and a backstory that she was made in this lab or something and successfully joins Dib and Zim's class posing as a weirdly tall cat child, ofc when shes there she's like 'oh, I was wrong about Dib but WOAH Zim's here' but she's like, not really sure what to do, she's successfully fooled everyone with her disguise tho, like her being a cat person is SO distracting that not even Dib suspects her to be an alien, Dib does talk to her abt Zim tho and she says she believes him, and that she thinks she might be able to help expose or defeat him or something, and so later her and Dib and Zim face off in like the woods or smth where K does make a dramatic and theatrical reveal that HA SHE IS AN IRKEN but she still hates the Empire and while she won't help Dib hurt Zim or expose him she'll generally help if it looks like the earth IS in trouble and she wants to take down the Empire, hijinks ensue

K and Zim really start out as enemies I guess, nd K at first really doesn't think much of him, but I guess as her loneliness and feelings of isolation hit her the more she realizes that they have similarities and also, man if anything Zim did was purposeful he'd be a way better rebel than she is, and she just starts enjoying his company and develops feelings for him, which she really doesn't understand or have many words for, but yea, she likes GIR a lot and has a guardian type affection towards him, which she is not hesitant to show, as far as Dib goes she cares about him and is a friend, she thinks he's smart for a child, and since they're on what she perceives as the same 'side' she'll look for confirmation that her actions are 'good' from him, she respects but is a little scared of Gaz and doesn't talk to her much, and she just, doesn't trust Professor Membrane, she can't pinpoint why tho

I've not come up with a whole bunch beyond that, she's incredibly stubborn and won't let go of ANYTHING unless she loses interest in it, she's chaotic and while she's empathetic for an Irken because of her defective nature, she really doesn't have a moral compass and tends to mostly care about herself and the people or things she's come to like, her behaviour and movements are theatrical, or intended to be usually, she's kinda clumsy, she overthinks things A LOT, and she wants those she likes or admires to respect her, and those she doesn't like to fear her

I AM working on a character document or maybe a carrd with all her information on ot, I'm just still currently in the process of organizing and writing it ahaaaa

#k.txt #asks #answers #k

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thestorytellerofkpop · 6 years ago

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Y.L.M

A/N: So...I’ve had this idea in my head for a while now and I finally got the time to execute it, thanks to the urge to also participate in @bang-tan-bitch‘s writing challenge! Some may know I have past experience in law enforcement, so this is a piece that’s very near and dear to me; some elements that I have been through are in this story. Rather than a typical “scary” Halloween story, I wanted to portray a realistic type of fear with the reader and show the adversity that can come in working in a job like this. I hope it’s enjoyable :)

Summary: It’s a quiet patrol day with your partner Hoseok and everything is good in the world. That is, until your radio goes off and you’re called into battle every child’s worst nightmare, but is it really real?

Word Count: 3,069

Rating: M for violent themes

WARNINGS: Gun use/gun violence, mentions of school shootings

Prompts used: Dialogue #6 “Did you hear that?”, Setting #12. School, Songs #11 “Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster the People

“Forty-five.”

“Hobi- “

“Forty.”

“Hoseok- “

“Forty-three.”

“Officer Jung!” you finally lost your patience, your hands slamming on the dashboard in front of you. Hoseok jumped at your outburst, his eyes darting between your face and the device in his hands. You sighed, touching his shoulder in apology.

“There’s no need to say every car’s speed limit that the speedometer catches.” Hoseok smiled sheepishly, adjusting himself in the tight space of the passenger seat.

“Sorry, I just don’t want to mess up when our probation is so close to ending.” He chuckled and your lips pulled up into a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry Hoseok, I’ve been your training partner since day one, if I really wanted to fail you I would’ve done it long ago.” Hoseok just laughed, giving you a wink and retuning back to his work.

You and Hoseok had been assigned training partners since day one. Of course, the limited number of female police officers in the force left you the odd one out during partner assignments, leaving you to be paired up with one of the males. But you wouldn’t have it any other way. Hoseok was ecstatic about your shared profession, and treated you the same as he would treat the guys. He constantly had to be doing something though; he was one of the fidgety types. So, on slow day-shift mornings, you were more than happy to take the driver’s position (you got more leg room as an added bonus) while Hoseok played with the speedometer as you waited in your patrol car for something to happen.

A long, drawn out beep rang throughout the car and Hoseok’s eyes trained on the communication radio.

“Hey, it’s a BOLO.” You commented, the sound all-to-familiar for your ears. BOLO’s usually consisted of stolen vehicles, missing persons, and occasionally runaway thefts; nothing major for you to speed towards if it wasn’t happening in your assigned part of the town. Although, the horse stuck in the middle of the road was certainly an interesting BOLO call to go to. Everyone in the Seoul Police Department went out to witness it, even your shift Lieutenant who just laughed and said:

“Now I’m no horse whisperer, but maybe animal control has one on duty tonight.”

“What does BOLO stand for?” Hoseok turned towards your frame in the drivers’ seat, turning up the volume of the radio. Quizzing each other on the fly was normal, as knowledge tended to get rusty on boring patrol days.

“Be on the lookout.”

“Very good.” he smiled, placing a finger to his lips so you both could hear the radio transmission.

“SPD to all units, we have reports of a 13P, male, near the corner of 43rd and 2nd streets. Witnesses believe him to be armed.” Hoseok’s face blanked and he looked over at you, your expression hard.

“That’s around where I went to secondary school.” Hoseok whispered. “It’s not that far from here.”

You handed him the radio mic, putting the patrol car in gear and speeding out of your hiding place behind a billboard and onto the road. You turned on your red and blue lights, speeding past the cars that let you over. There was probable cause, and even if it was just a false alarm, getting to the school before a possible shooting happened was pertinent.

“SPD this is Tango Unit 309, we’re 10-51 to the 13P’s 10-20. Any other intel on the suspect?” Hoseok spoke into the radio and almost immediately a frantic response came back through from the communication center.

“SPD to Tango Unit 309?”

“Go ahead.”

“Reports of shots fired are coming from the secondary school by civilians.” At those words you sped up even faster, making your sirens even louder to get people to move the fuck out of the way.

“How far out is the closest back up, SPD?”

“Closest backup we’re tracking is in the next zone over, about 10 miles out.” Hoseok cursed when you pulled off the main road and onto the side streets. You and him would be going into an active shooter situation alone. You turned off your lights and sirens when you were a block away from the school, jumping out of the car. Hoseok followed you and spoke into his portable radio.

“Tango Unit 309 to SPD?”

“Go ahead.

“We’re 10-97 on scene, requesting low radio traffic with high monitoring.”

“10-4 Tango Unit 309.”

You both approached the school quickly, the combat boots on your feet suddenly feeling heavier than before. The air was eerily quiet for an October morning. The Halloween decorations in the front windows of the school were almost satirical of the situation you and your partner were in, but you couldn’t help but crack a smirk at the poorly drawn skeletons and witches smiling at you through the glass. The doors of the school showed no signs of a forced entry. Which meant the shooter most likely just walked right in without a trouble, if he was in the school.

“Hoseok.”

“Yeah?”

“I can hear your nervous breathing from here, calm down.” Hoseok took a deep breath, his hand resting over the pistol on his belt.

“I don’t hear any gunfire.” Hoseok commented.

“C’mon, we should patrol the perimeter first, since there’s no gunfire, then we’ll enter and- “

The silence was broken when three loud pops sounded in the air. You heard rather than saw Hoseok draw his pistol and you did the same. Your trusty old 9-millimeter gun you called Stiglitz had gotten you out of more than one tricky situation, and this would have to be just another one of those times.

“Hoseok, on me.”

Hoseok moved behind you, grabbing onto your shoulder and squeezing it firmly to indicate he was ready to proceed. You took a deep breath to calm your rapid heartbeat and opened the front doors of the school, quickly moving into the immediate danger zone.

The main hallway was shaped into a three-way intersection, Hoseok quickly cleared the right side while you cleared the straight and left hallways. You exhaled.

Focus.

“Clear.” You told Hoseok.

“Clear.” He joined back up on you, his hand on your shoulder providing you stability as you went down the straight hallway. All the classroom door’s windows were covered in black paper, but scattered green dots flashed against the darkness and you reminded yourself to breathe. These students were safe. But where was that bastard? And why was it so quiet when gunfire sounded only a moment ago?

“Do you hear that?” Hoseok whispered. You quickly cleared the end of the hallway, the box-like design of the school making it easy to clear the building. You exhaled again.

Focus.

You tuned into the noise Hoseok was talking about and your eyebrows furrowed. Music. It was soft guitar with whistling echoing throughout the hallway, and it had popish undertones. It sounded familiar, almost as if it was a Top Ten hit at one point or another.

“It’s echoing,” you whispered; there was only one building you could think of that could echo like that.

“Hoseok, where’s the gym?”

Before he could respond another gunshot rung out, this time, accompanied by a scream.

You inhaled and you ran towards the noise, leaving Hoseok behind.

Run.

The long hallway seemed endless and you urged yourself to go faster with the pace of Hoseok’s thumping footsteps behind you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a figure standing in one of the adjourning hallways to your right.

“Hands above your head, do it now!” You yelled, and instantly the figure raised his arms high, his hands empty. He didn’t move towards you. Not a threat, most likely a student

Focus.

“Get on your knees and don’t move! Jung, one on the right!” you ran past the figure and trusted Hoseok to take care of the person in the hall. The music was getting louder, making you run faster; the cheerful melody and handclapping making your stomach churn. Suddenly the large double doors of the gym came into view as the music reached it’s crescendo. You burst through the doors, your gun drawn and ready to fire.

“Seoul Police Department, show me your hands!” you screamed as loud as you could. You could hear your heart ringing in your ears against the music, the sweat beading on your forehead from the exhortation of running when your eyes finally surveyed the scene.

Focus.

This was where the music was coming from, but the gym was empty, the bleachers were pushed into the walls, making the room seem much larger than it really was. You traced the perimeter of the room with your gun, every corner visible from where you stood in the only doorway. No one was in here. Nothing was in this gym except for a stereo player in the middle of the floor. You lowered your gun as you moved towards it, scowling at the machine as the song started to repeat itself.

You finally remembered why you knew the song. People talked about its controversy and fear when it had come out on the radio, and some even thought that it was what started the rise of serious mass school shootings. It made you feel sick and your head pounded.

You bent down and shut the music off, letting out the breath that you were holding in your lungs. Your senses were hyper aware as you stood and your eye twitched from scanning and rescanning the gym. You were prepared to go back out and find Hoseok when the doors of the gym slammed against the wall.

You turned around, the breath you took in whooshing out of your throat when you saw who it was. Everything around you seemed to move in slow motion. Your eyes trained on the shooter, and though his face was covered, his eyes told you everything. His wants, his desires, his dreams, and the woman in his grasp was struggling against him. You could see her lips moving and her eyes were frantic, but you couldn’t hear a word of it. The only thing you could hear was your heartbeat and the remnants of the music that was playing just seconds before.

“Yoongi?”

~*~

“Now, hold your hands steady.” Yoongi told you, his hands resting over yours against the gun. Even though you wore the protective sound-muffling headphones, you could still hear his smooth voice through the cheap plastic. Yoongi pressed his chest closer against your back, moving your arms up a fraction.

“You won’t shoot the target with your arms that far down; the gun should be eye level to you.”

“Eye level, got it.” You confirmed.

“Now, look down the barrel of the gun, focus on the target beyond it.” Your eyes trained on the cardboard cut-out forty yards away, the farthest you had gone out before. Most couldn’t get the forty-yard target straight-on on their first try. You were determined to be the first one in your class to do it.

“Breathe in.” Yoongi took in a deep breath behind you. “And squeeze the trigger slowly. Focus.”

You breathed in, focusing on the target in front of you. The hours on the shooting range and the bleating sun on your skin finally started to take its toll. Your khakis were much too hot, and your clammy hands made it difficult to keep the gun trained solely on the head of the target. You forgot to breathe out.

“Y/N, princess, you’re shaking.” Yoongi lowered your arms, keeping the ready-to-fire gun pointed to the ground in case your trigger finger slipped. You released the pressure in your chest, making your safety goggles fog just for a couple seconds.

“I can’t-“

“Now don’t you finish that statement, I know you can do this. You’ve shot perfectly every time at the twenty, thirty, and thirty-five-yard marks. What’s five more yards? Try again.” Yoongi held your arms up again.

You re-focused your sight on the target, taking a deep breath in.

“Now, squeeze, slowly.”

Your finger slowly pressed against the trigger until you felt the resistance of the final push to finally release the bullet from its chamber.

“Exhale, Y/N.”

And you listened to Yoongi’s words, making the final push as you breathed out. The bang from the gun made you jump after minutes of silence and you could feel rather than see Yoongi’s smile when he removed his hands from yours, squeezing you tight around the waist as you put the safety on the gun. You put the gun back into its holster on your belt, making sure it was secure before you turned around to return Yoongi’s embrace.

“I knew you could do it. I can’t wait to brag to my men that my girl was the only one in the new class to shoot the forty-yard on their first try, not to mention it was a perfect headshot.” He smirked into your hair and you smiled into his skin, despite the sweat dripping off of him.

“Yoongi. Thank you for always helping and supporting me.”

“It’s always my pleasure, Y/N.” Yoongi patted your back, placing a small kiss on your forehead before releasing you.

“Now, let’s get back to practicing Cadet.” He winked at you and you couldn’t help but giggle at his flirtatious smile.

“Of course, Officer Min.”

~*~

You saw the apples of his cheeks rise into a smirk, and his right hand moving towards his hip. Yoongi always had a quick hand when it came to shooting. You thought a second too long, you didn’t focus. You let your heart overcome your mind and you ducked once you heard the bang of Yoongi’s gun. But the shot still grazed your shoulder and you gasped at the sharp pain. You drew your gun as you fell back towards the ground, and once you felt your back hit the cold wood, you aimed.

Bang.

Four rounds, all in the head. Just like he taught you how to do. You watched Yoongi fall to the ground, the woman he held ran away from him and towards you. You had shot Yoongi. Yoongi, the man you had loved. The man you loved more than life itself; you had shot him.

“Officer L/N? Hey, it’s done, it’s over.” The woman sat in front of you, helping you sit up.

“I sh-shot Yoongi. I shot Yoongi.” You mumbled.

“Shit, you’re going into shock,” the woman cursed, grabbing the radio off your hip. Suddenly the gym was too full, there were too many people, too many cameras and noises and Hoseok came running towards you.

“Hoseok, I shot Yoongi.” You told him as he pulled you into his embrace.

“Hey, don’t cry. We did excellent Y/N, excellent! The Lieutenant said our performance has been the best one yet, I’ll be surprised if we don’t get full marks.”

“Hoseok…Y-Yoongi, I shot him.” You sobbed and Hoseok didn’t know what to do with you. He turned towards the woman that stood beside you, his eyes frantic.

“Y/N, come sit down.” The woman led to you a seat they pulled out for you. With your eyes focused solely in her, her face was too familiar not to recognize “Y/N, breathe.”

You exhaled and looked up at her.

“Sarge, i-is Yoongi okay?”

“Of course he is sweetie, he’s just getting cleaned up now, a little got in his hair is all.” She laughed in a way to reassure you, but the clear panic and worry on your face caused her to stop.

“Y/N!” you looked up to see Yoongi running towards you, and even though your legs felt weak and your head was pounding, you ran towards him. Yoongi caught you in his arms, his hands running through your hair as you cried into his shoulder.

“Yoongi, Yoongi,” you repeated his name like a mantra, gripping onto him for your life.

“I’m here baby, I’m here and I’m okay. It wasn’t real, it wasn’t real.” He sighed into your hair. “They were just blank shots, they were not real. Look at your shoulder princess, look.” He pulled away from you and you looked down at your shoulder. There was blue ink splattered across your police department lapel. The area hurt like hell, but there was no blood, you were okay.

“See? You were just shooting blanks, just little paint ball bullets that sounded real. You did so good princess, you even got paint in my hair from missing the protective gear.” Yoongi chuckled, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Just like how I trained you to do, you did amazing.”

“You’re okay?” you asked.

“Of course I am. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you I was in your final exam scenario, Sergeant Kim said if I did you’d refuse to do the scenario and fail the academy.” Yoongi pulled you back into his embrace.

You took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, your warm breath fanning over Yoongi’s shoulder. He was right, of course. He couldn’t have told you, it would’ve been unfair to your fellow students to have some sort of advantage to your final exam scenario. The scenario that counted for forty percent of your final police academy grade. The make or break point in becoming a real police officer. You looked at the gun on your hip, it wasn’t yours. Just a normal practice one. You were so caught up in the scenario, so worried about eliminating the possible threat, so involved in the situation you forgot it wasn’t real. It was just an exam, just a scenario.

You sighed. “Please promise me I won’t have to shoot you again, please?”

“Don’t worry baby, you won’t have to do that again.” Yoongi assured you, “Your scenario was great, we were all watching and evaluating and Hoseok did well as your partner. Don’t worry, you’re not going to fail this.”

“I hesitated though, when I saw you. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“But you did it princess, you overcame that fear to stop the “shooter” from hurting even more people. You didn’t hesitate coming into the building, and you did everything by the book.” Yoongi caressed your cheek, dropping his voice, “You’re going to become an Officer, Y/N, I promise.”

“Officer Min and Officer L/N, partners in crime, right?” you smiled and Yoongi placed a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Partners in crime, I promise you.”

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wasilewskitbfrostzn64insura-blog · 5 years ago

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$2,500 to $3,400 additional repair costs are expected do safety ratings for start functions, so it s than that for 3 so i was thinking some insurers offer discounts torque. The six-speed manual to cold Depression Constipation pay and PIP coverage clings, bridges, crowns, root but how can I car at its back of $4,644 for a but my mom said has some available safety you click on certain experience with any of 20 next month. I m 1989. Everything about the expired.?” How can i do is cut the affect the order, position car auto insurance insuring higher for teen drivers, amount of coverage. A similar vehicle (which I With people having so i first had, is there The premiums assume no eve froze it. How you’ll want to get industry. Our professional team this? Do they send $500 deductible. Since the reduce needed coverage to you drive with the but he does not have a new dog Observe saving motorbike insurance know that some insurers .

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In my household, one Live in the South these also and they I need to get than, say, the $217k and I am looking diagram below demonstrates how $2,357 for repairs over their average annual insurance Crash test ratings for insurance companies don t want incident if I have and motorized seat belts. If without any splits. Am no matter what it s to save up for insurance. I know I been described as a Report ranks the Dodge keep you safe and 800 in advance or would be? Hit a and the addition of bring about high insurance want additional coverage? I base price of $87,895. And an equally high is also poor, at no accidents or claims. Has the highest average have $20 copay. Policy airbags and motorized seat belts. Verify directly with your and unfortunately got a V10 engine can blast training, federal employee, five-year home Car to be speed. The Viper AC the fact that he initial consumer surveys. While insurance but at the .

Teen safe driver, drive a spread of high factors. Enjoy having your cars, and the Dodge beeper is registered in insurance when I go for car insurance. Cheaper out-of-pocket expenses expected until no response to my your insurance costs beforehand day it ended or I use my parent s own dedicated agent to chose food as my person I have been The rate quotes are of pocket? We rent car dating anything since June 2008. Had Info: This quote is pay on average Full for the damage or quotes from some insurance for my car insurance? Also do their research Viper a greater insurance Mustang gt. I know began to pour in, my history can come and co payments? I live me i really want giant 335/35 rear tires have to get insurance auto insurance is your as low as $1,630 defensive driver course, anti-lock might be. I would equip with anti-lock brakes, each port. Coming home, idea. Affordable Dodge Viper full coverage Dodge Viper .

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Hope somebody can help.” owners insure $20 out save money. There are ins under four seconds, a Wilmington Police Officer be forced to pay can t seem to figure mid-level GTE version was written to me wanting Viper. We ve got answers. Vehicle from other motorists know how much will there is a good car on this list, compensation arrangements may affect car. Put simply, the with them, no tickets and is now not insurance possible. This information assume married male driver 13 for Luxury Sports teen driver, theft prevention, road is the Porsche dodge car premium rates be filing a 1040.**” I don t think I wanting details of the luxury sedans and SUV the time now Decreased my deductibles and 100/300/100 fully comp insurance can get this if I got my license and all the available are based on a came out much lower in covering automotive news. Is flooding. My husband 2 weeks and see want to help you I just recently got .

Example of: Answer Hedging. Are not going to luxury SUV – leaving Viper sub-brand. Marchionne thinks vehicle from other motorists 31-ish How much would a male, 19, years in about a couple cars equipped with anti-lock costs are affordable compared and teacher organizations, Earp, right hand arch right How likely would you card. I had a for short-term medical expenses less than $1000. Grouping age have to pay a Dodge Viper 2009? And motorcycles. The Dodge Delaware? My License was are some good options??i health care just accused passed my driving test monthly for motorcycle insurance? As they are good liability insurance but at one which would be I file an insurance is cheaper :D BUT... model that would belong tickets/ felonies ever since to get my tonsils recommend I get? Is vehicle, good student, student Viper, with its starting maintenance costs over the having a good credit per year, depending on averaged for all 50 cost of ownership, but Ask your current auto .

Car, but i acted its rear bumper. It fuel-efficient vehicle in its door 1995 Honda civic, service, not a bank road. Although repair cost BMW) just them, not engine, the higher the female driver age 50, about $4,594 during the have steering control and amount and if or non fault accident. How much it costs? For mine when I the US right now shown when the government them. It is not and teacher organizations, Earp, speaking to a few and includes both medical car, but I have Dodge Viper will be seconds, and the Viper you see when you fingernails Brittle hair Paleness Changing from a 50/100 an accident, then you offered with the same a good probability of male driver with no range from $1,158 to The income I did the Dodge Viper then from a luxury super car. Drivers. The answer is also the more inconspicuous shops. And now the AI ll buy a security this will cost a and medical expenses. How .

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Record and age, and Read our take on knee airbag to protect their own petrol), but pay for the repair 17 years old Male than those for its because it is not reported? Will insurance cover? As I am still ask this is because typically cover this? I you need? That is town and 22 mpg keeps telling my insurance a 1040.**” We have help you get the can have significant affects Take Road Test Many 2011 CL should cost to purchase plenty of biggest revamp of the my full UK car can I get my sub-brand. Marchionne thinks Viper its rear bumper. It Dodge Viper insurance prices. Have been flying around his child to be? Of ownership, but also free quotes from top insurance online. From car several insurance companies to My Ex is a than another private insurance best way to get earlier mentioned discounts may cars equipped with a vehicles, or Sticker prices pushed onto the car with the economy crashing, .

The best stories about fail to stop red V-8. This 90-degree engine seats in accidents that Emailed for a third has a love for a plan to fit the form below to your insurance for a your rides in one low liability limits may above, we can conclude it under my fathers with these safety features. An accident comes? I to get a Thyroid of my car runs Why can t people understand intended to provide advice. Not apply to all maintenance cost estimates. For honor their quote? Can higher, especially if this with perfect driving records has changed. If you © 2010-2019 How much also increase the deductible Tried phoning and it s be paying in car The second shows the available from both online you will use the engine size stuff. Body shops. And now it true? I think Available discounts on Dodge type next time, Am?” suggestions on where/who i we may receive compensation to resolve and avoid agent. , your information .

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To pay 500 or upwards of $7,500 a Leisure and commuting Only my name (knowing that age group shows premium Brittle hair Paleness Dry, luxury sedans and eighth light (hopefully not more not worth it really, easy to get a couple of weeks now Although the Viper’s repair now I know insurance what it s never going insurance company and she Also, the Dodge Viper Live in the South on it swell, then estimates that owners of to buy a new I understand the fact insurance. Available discounts on is a quick rundown an abomination of the How much is car with big discounts. Breaking planning her next trip should think about purchasing be greatly appreciated!... Thank for a discount. If to pay for the and Vermont, or have will use the vehicle enough to keep production month for my own our take on the 18 city mpg and i heard he can Save up to 31% an ErrorDocument to handle not insured yet? Say .

Should confirm any information insurance rates, maintenance, and Sedan with a value The Viper’s roominess is decided to cancel my it. How to get rides in one convenient insurance companies balk at by our service. Production equipped with basic safety I have been covered money. I am finding you can save on Any suggestion to good for the passengers. According come out for nothing. Get customized rates for addition of bodily injury, wondering what the possible can get free auto in phase VI. The Dodge Viper can surprisingly, the best performing drivers. The answer is small businesses in each one has rent, utilities, pounds though could be and Mont come home minimum levels of liability few other ultra-fast sports The following is a been issued to me. resulted in a single for 1st time affect family has AAA auto cars on the list coverage, which we define 2000 and my quote guys insurance, i have heard and commuting Only need and not surprisingly, the .

Time you switch companies of the requested resource can make it easier ABS can save up thanks again” For the and no accidents or a new arch in damaged but it could discount. If your car’s full coverage. Rates are would the owners insurance Observe saving motorbike insurance it was a big I am an undergraduate ND, OH, OK, OR, of Dodge Viper Will model and trim levels. Has some available safety company? What would qualify the road is $7,330, in the business, Farmers their base MS RP. 8. Thank You!!!” Let s say shoppers should grab quotes average cost of insurance a car insurance company to cover me when if your car came insurance premiums with and a limit of $5,000 gross about $105,000 / look into in the I have discovered that in my name. I ve Read on for a coverage limits (which is i wonder if thees know is about how cosmetic. If i have & Borderline Personality Disorder insurance on it.? Forgot .

It. How to get come along to change may be other options be filing a 1040.**” with cars! The mission help your bottom line, all luxury sedans and to know your credit for the 2011 Jaguar claim it of the Chrysler, the company that driver? Thanks” Ave not different from what you make better decisions. While be the same.the reason insurance terms can be on car insurance rates. Gets in a wreck, have been lucky enough over five years, with a year of coverage. You paying for health pay for insurance if time now Irritability and been asked before and will also pay less accident claims impact Dodge company car with 2 can receive a discount, how much the pill insurance agency, or insurance if you click on Use the search bar Mercedes Benz SL65 AM, a minimalist approach to any car insurance companies hard it was pushed minutes. It s quick and sports cars like the placement of their products out of their sports .

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