#find out in this rant
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#seyloy#hfw aloy#aloy x seyka#aloy#aloy horizon#horizon forbidden west fanart#horizon forbidden west#hfw seyka#hfw#hfw fanart#HIIII GUESS WHOS BACK WITH INSANITY i love these two#LOTERALLY CRAZY#AAAAAAAAAYYGGHHDHS#anael i will never forgive you for dragging me into this hole#jk ily please rant to me about them more#THEYRE SOOOOOOOOOO#UUHGRHEHHHDHGH#sky x sea save me….. ocean and sky parallels… OOOHHHHHHHHGHH#is aur capable of doing more than sketching? find out next time on—#no. the answer is no btw#dotcircledotart
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I haven't thought much about Jonathan Sims for long enough that I kinda feel like I've started thinking about him a little more divorced of the emotional attachment I might have had once. Because I just saw a post lamenting his slow descent into inhumanity and losing his identity, becoming the archivist rather than Jonathan Sims, losing his friends, his house, everything he loves.
But is that true? That put upon head archivist persona he had in the beginning, was that really him? The way I see it, real life has already leached him of any identity he might have had, he didn't really have friends, Tim and Sasha clearly weren't, as we saw in their season 5 recording. He chose to make them his subordinates over beib friends, pushed away Georgie, he became so desperate for approval that he agreed to take a job he clearly has no idea how to do, let his stress over it isolate him from everyone around him, had a desperate need to assert himself in the beginning of every recording as 'head archivist of the Magnus institute london'. Forget about even having a home, he often slept in his office for heaven's sake.
The way I see it, this story is about him finding himself, finding the perfect place for himself in this already doomed world that was already strangling him and everyone around him. He became the Archivist, no longer needing to connect himself to some godforsaken capitalistic institute to identify himself. found his role, he enjoyed its power, even admitted to it. He found love. He found purpose in trying to save the world. In the end he was surrounded with the friends he made along the way (as friendly as they could be under the circumstances). He was finally allowed to make real choices, have true responsibility over himself and not be some tired corporate worker, part of a tired pointless system. Sure his choices weren't that great, and getting there was through outside manipulation and his own ignorance and he had to suffer immensely and pay an awful price of what we like to call his "humanity" but he Became and found what we all look for - his calling.
"It's still me" he says in the last episode. Because he is. He lost nothing and gained everything. Even dying in his lover's arms.
Forget about being human. In the end Jon achieves apotheosis and truly becomes Jonathan Sims
#i should relisten i feel like im talking out of my ass here lol#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#honestly im happy for jon good for him. i wish i could find apotheosis in my career#i feel in recent months ive become way more sympathetic to selfishness and so called inhumanity than i used to.#this world is leeching the concept of 'good' from me#its such an entitled concept of course you can be 'good' when the world makes it easy for you.#no dilemas or choises. root for the underdog and for so called 'justice'. okay bitch. imma focus on what and who i love now#this world be damned. which it already is whether i try to do better or not.#sorry rant over
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i lied i had like atleast one more weston thought to expell from my brain, before i miss this boat entirely. we're heading to green lands woooo
#god i had a fever this entire morning and afternoon so I think it was my inability to do anything that finally pushed me to finish this#seriously it took a month... disapointing#more disappointing is that i didn't have the time to tear up the internet in order to find what a professors break room looked like in 1899#if there was such a thing#really tragic#ah yea welp im very glad it's out there atleast. I want to release all of my black butler stuff so badly but guh...#tragedy has struck and i have been inspired to finally make a person project of my own#so that's taking a long time#but not to worry after like 5 years and some pondering i know well that black butler will always be one half of my brain#coooool#anyway i got more dorky stuff coming I hope??? wasn't lying before I am thinking of the midfords#and ill pray i can find the strength to get everything done soon#hope my rants are more tasteful after months of absence if ur still here#kuroshitsuji#black butler#kuroshitsuji fanart#fanart#sebastian michaelis#digital art#animation#animatic#video#weston college arc#black butler anime#black butler agares
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Wait you guys are actually buying Disney products I thought it was a joke
(READ TAGS FOR FULL CONTEXT Sorry it’s long dies
#Honestly I’m only bothered bc I feel partially responsible (WTF EGOMANIAC OVER HERE)#I know I can’t control other people’s spending habits and my own habits are. Less than ideal !!#But when I wanted to spread my love for Wreck it Ralph I didn’t want people to get that takeaway 😔#IMPORTANT NOTE ‼️It’s okay to express your love for something through buying official things !!! That DOESN’T make you a “bad person” !!!#Still ! I think we have to let ourselves feel bothered by things and we need to be more critical of exploitative companies#Of course I chose to watch inside out 2 with my mom in theaters so I’m not immune lmao. Also using amazon / Etsy … just as a whole#But if you need help finding Disney movies without supporting them please just ask me!! PLEASE don’t use Disney+ if you can avoid it#I know we are all capable of finding our fulfillment from better places. But sometimes it’s hard#Capitalism sucks and yet that’s how we are endlessly pressured to live :(#We’re all at different points in our lives. Sometimes self care involves consumerism#Be hopeful that it someday won’t have to#Txt#again I’m sorry if this comes off as horribly egotistical to even consider being single-handedly responsible for#Social media is bad …. numbers bad…. Distorts reality and your perception of yourself…..#Or as me trying to guilt trip people in any way. Genuinely do what makes you happy but WE CAN BE HAPPIER & HEALTHIER I KNOW WE CAN#Wreck it ralph#Rant#Also sorry I have huge beef with streaming services I don’t mean to enforce that on other people but also. Sharing my opinion
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My new ship just launched and one of them doesn't even have a fucking name
For real tho, this un-named Wan Jian Disciple is such a snarky bitch. I love him.
Kudos to @grubus for making such enjoyable OCs
#svsss#scumbag self saving system#ming fan#syonr#shen yuan of no relation#fanfic art#i will not apologize for art#i will go down with this ship#not me finding out that pen pressure is a thing I should have made sure was turned on until just now#rant time#I think the reason why this little oc speaks to me is because he is so quick witted snarky and fucking fearless!#Think about it#This little shit is about to go into SQQ's house#WITH A FUCKING PANGOLIN#The absolute gall of this disciple#I wanna see him verbally fight ZD with MF watching in both fear and awe#the cat fight would be legendary
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Something I need the fix it AU writers who use Frodo as Bagginsgields child to focus more on:
Gimli meeting a hobbit that looks strangely like Thorin Oakenshield but has the last name Baggins before connecting the dots:
#bilbo baggins#the hobbit bilbo#the hobbit thorin#thorin oakenshield#thorin x bilbo#thorins company#bilbo x thorin#bilbo and frodo#frodo baggins#parentshield#thorin lives au#thorin durin#thorin and frodo#king thorin#gimli#gimli was like: now hold on second…. I may not be the sharpest rock in the moutian but something’s going on there#Legolas#Legolas knew the whole time too#Legolas is just like: relax cause this ain’t our business pal#Gandalf knew the whole time#Thorin finds out and turns into a mess#yes this is au’s where Bilbo isn’t as old and Frodo is only like 17#I don’t care#let me be delulu#I’m happier in delulu state#Thorin and the company go into panic mode#Bilbo just thinks his husband is dead the whole time but still slaps him when he sees him again cause Bilbo is just that queen#and Thorin accepts it cause he knows he deserves it for trying to throw his hobbit off the rampart#Thorin’s just like: yeah. that’s fair.#and Bilbo cries. and goes on a rant. cause he’s Bilbo mother freaking Baggins and he will if he wants to
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Something that is canon in my mind that I forget to tell people:
The reason why Steve can’t get bitches in his Scoops Ahoy era is because there’s a rumor going around that he’s gay (probably because someone caught him hooking up with Eddie)
#how else can you explain it???#he is so so babygirl#all the girls would be literally at his feet begging for this man to date them#unless… they think he’s trying to make them his beard#also with the lipgloss and mascara…#it just adds fuel to the fire#and think. if Steve and Eddie were hooking up before scoops in a fwb gone wrong or secret relationship gone wrong type of situation…#aka Steve catches feelings and runs because of internalized homophobia and a fear of getting caught#there could be a season three rewrite of Steve catching feelings for Robin because she reminds him of Eddie#and after Robin comes out to him#Steve’s like “oh. maybe there are more people like me in Hawkins than I imagined. if she deserves a happy ending with a girl#why can’t I get a happy ending with a guy?#and steve slowly is able to come to terms with his sexuality#meanwhile eddie seeks out Dustin and the kids who steve has ranted and raved about#but he plays it off as him happening to find lost sheep#lots of thoughts… lots of thoughts…#all thoughts to explain why Steve isn’t able to get bitches#steve harrington#steddie#stranger things#scoops ahoy steve#stranger things headcanons
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how Nico functions narratively as a character is always extremely funny to me because he has like, exactly 3 modes: exposition, damsel, and dues ex machina.
Exposition Mode is usually whenever Annabeth (#1 designated exposition character. #2 is Grover or insert mythological figure of the hour here. #3 is Nico) or someone else isn't around to exposition for the present cast. He has an excuse to somehow randomly know everything and everyone, no matter what, especially if it's relevant to the plot. He'll randomly develop new skills or personal arcs purely as an excuse to put him in situations where he can exposition, such as him being able to gain insight into the future/prophecies via ghosts (which is a thing in Greek mythology, but still). This is actually why it's extremely difficult for him to function as a POV character in a stand-alone story or first book of a series, because the way Riordanverse functions, the POV almost always only has as much information as the audience going into things and a secondary character explains information to them as they go along, unless it's later on into a series and it makes sense for the characters and/or audience to know that already. That's why Nico doesn't function well as a POV for TSATS but Will would work fine, because Nico's designated narrative role is Knowing Everything/Everyone, Somehow (particularly relating to the Underworld).
Damsel: he just gets kidnapped a ridiculous amount of times. Also that plus his penchant for passing out means there is ample opportunity for scenarios where Nico, despite being extremely powerful, needs to be rescued. Pairing this with how he's always off doing absolutely anything, absolutely anywhere, and somehow knows everybody, he's a perfect means to push the plot forward with an easy "oh no we need to rescue/protect Nico for the millionth time" side-quest or addition to stakes at hand. Or, similarly, if you need to take Nico out of the equation for a bit because he's too powerful and would fix it immediately: oops he passed out/needs to be protected/is kidnapped/etc.
And then as mentioned before - Deus ex machina, kinda literally. Nico is extremely overpowered for a reason; Because he's the catch-all solution to every problem. Just throw Nico at it. We can BS a new epic power for him that vaguely makes sense and yeah he's just that powerful and will pass out because of it probably. Yeah sure he can rip people's souls out and instakill things. Yeah he can teleport anything anywhere under essentially any circumstances. He'll just be a little sleepy. A lil eepy. He needs to take a lil nap. It's fine.
Basically. Solution to literally every situation in the Riordanverse: Throw Nico at it. Just throw Nico at it. It'll make sense. It'll work. Unless he's the primary POV in a stand-alone novel, short story, or first book in a series. Then it won't make any sense because you suddenly have to backtrack like 2/3 of Nico's entire narrative functions and suddenly he is Only A Damsel.
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#analysis#draft clear-out#i know i've posted stuff on this topic before but i cant find the post and i think it was tangentially added on to a different rant#but while i'm clearing things out i might as well post this#i always find it a fun topic and break of Nico's functions within the narrative#long post //#< long-ish
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I literally dont know how to continue explaining to people that part of the reason Goku decided to stay dead was because Gohan hated fighting.
He didnt know this until cell. He literally had no idea. Gohan NEVER gave any indication whatsoever. Couple that with the fact Bulma pointed out most of people threatening the Earth during that point in time were all people wanting Goku. The saiyans. Frieza. The androids. Doctor Gero. Cell.
All because of Goku. Its not his fault but his very existence consistently put the Earth in danger. He truly believed Earth would be safer without him and therefore, gohan wouldnt be consistently placed into battle.
Because Goku didnt know gohan hated fighting. But once he knew came the very interwoven nature of these threats he brought making his own son fight because gohan felt he HAD to. Not because he wanted to. For goku, protecting the earth always aligned with his own love for fighting. But gohan fought out of necessity, out of the very idea that they couldnt afford to do it without him. He has this power he didnt ask for so he must use it right? Because it would be selfish if he didnt.
But goku... goku thought gohan was like him. Gohan WANTED to return to help fight vegeta. He WANTED to go to namek. He WANTED to stay and fight after piccolo almost died to frieza. Goku didnt see gohan train that first year. Didnt witness what it took to make gohan a fighter. All he saw was his son who now was strong and wanted to join the fight like his dad. And he knows gohan is more powerful than them, knows he can stop cell, FELT IT. Gohan has to defeat cell because no one else can. So he thinks if gohan gets angry enough fighting cell, itll be the answer. Because thats how its always been for goku. And in thirty seconds piccolo makes him realize he's wrong. He doesnt argue back, he listens and concedes and realizes that piccolo is right. And suddenly goku wants to abandon his plan and stop the fight. He made a mistake. He intends to get gohan out. And in the end, he still ended up being right, but it doesnt change what goku now knows. Gohan isnt like him and he doesnt enjoy fighting.
Goku would have NEVER made gohan fight if he thought he didnt want to. You know this whenever adult gohan gets involved in a fight and goku apologizes that he had to. Or when someone suggests gohan for a battle and goku is like nah he's "out of practice," even when they have time FOR PRACTICE. He never wants to force gohan into a situation like cell again. Because cell was a mistake and goku has learned from it. So he never asks Gohan to fight anymore. If Gohan wants in then of course he's in. But he wants his son to be able to choose that. He wants gohan to be HAPPY and if thats not fighting then thats perfectly alright with goku.
So it wasnt just about keeping the earth safe. Or his friends. It was knowing that in the safety of gokus absence, gohan wouldnt have to fight either. There would be less threats, less chances of his son being forced into battle. And sure he also trusted that gohan and the others could keep the earth safe if they had to, but he was banking on the threat level significantly decreasing instead.
And decrease it did. They had seven whole years of peace. Not a single threat. Meanwhile from the moment Raditz shows up to gokus death to cell, it all takes place within the span of FIVE YEARS. The longest they went without a threat was the three year gap spent training for the androids. And they spent every waking moment knowing they were coming.
And then if you look at trunks future... majority of the human population being wiped out by the androids. Majority of gokus friends. His son. All dead. Because of him. Because he defeated the red ribbon army when he was a child. And that very easily could have been their future as well. So Goku does his job in preventing that. He saves all of them. And if hes the only one who ends up dead, well... it doesnt matter. Because they aren't. And he intends to keep it that way. So he stays in otherworld, to keep them safe and to give his son a future that he can choose. If Gohan has to fight, then he can. But at least his father wouldnt be the one bringing the threats to his door.
#goku has depth#and im tired of arguing this point#LOOK DEEPER FOR TWO SECONDS PLEASE#Gokus reaction to finding out gohan doesnt like to fight#his sacrifice#and his decision after#im tired of people acting all the time like goku would have wanted to remain dead and therefore never see his wife or son or friends again#hes content in the knowledge that this is the best decision FOR THEM#he makes that decision#for them#not for himself#goku#dragon ball#son goku#goku is a good dad#dragon ball z#dragon ball z kai#gohan#son gohan#goku and gohan#dragon ball rant#my rant#dragon ball super#dbz#dbs#cell saga#android saga#saiyan saga#frieza saga#kakarot
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Why do I keep finding fanfics where Cole is emotionally cheating on Geo with Kai. Can we let the Lava fanfics be Lava fanfics and the Geode fanfics be Geode fanfics? PLEAAASEEE?? (It's been months and Lava still floods the Geode tag).
#llannas rants#i feel like im always being negative so i'm gonna try to be more positive#but this is soooo frustrating#i want to read geode fanfics#especially to find ones that are placed pre-drs1#but they're all drowned out by these lava fanfics#people can still ship lava#but please please PLEASE#stop making cole a cheater and kai a jealous asshole#im FiiiNE#ninjago#lego ninjago#lostshipping#geode ninjago#cole brookestone#lava#lavashipping#kai jiang#geo ninjago
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part one
In the days it takes you to heal from your injuries, Luffy comes to your bedroom to sleep next to you every night. He does try, the night after the first, to sleep in his own bedroom but he can't. Usually sleep comes easy to him, especially after a long day of adventure but not now. He closes his eyes, trying to think of your wounds healing, your soft breathing, your warm hand holding his, but he can't fall asleep. He huffs in irritation and rises from his bed, sulking across the ship to knock on your bedroom door and opening it slowly. You put down your book, you were also struggling to sleep, and open the covers for him. You smile at each other as he excitedly hops into your bed.
And so it becomes routine for you two. Even as your injuries heal completely, as the sunsets and the crew walks off to their separate bedrooms, Luffy follows you into yours and you let him. It becomes normal to roll over in the middle of the night and snuggle into his warm body, to wake up in the morning with his arm wrapped around you, to feel him pull you closer in his sleep, to giggle at his sleep-talking, to hear your name in his mumblings. You offer to let him keep his toothbrush and some clothes in your room, he accepts.
Sleeping together becomes so routine that you have trouble sleeping without him. There were times when you two would be separated by a foe that Luffy challenged and each night you would stay awake staring at his side of the bed, worry clouding your mind and making it impossible to sleep and eventually when Luffy defeated the foe, he would be covered in bandages and it was your turn to listen to his soft, even breathing as he slept. There were times when you be working late into the night and he would come find you, curling up on the floor next to you to sleep in your presence until you eventually finish and drag him back to your bed so you can both sleep comfortably. There were times when you would get angry at him for putting the crew in danger with his recklessness and you'd slammed your bedroom door in his face and toss and turn, your anger at him turning into desperation for him to just come to bed already, eventually you get up to find him and as you open your bedroom door, Luffy's sleeping frame falls on your legs. He'd been sleeping against your door. Smiling you pull his rubbery body into bed and cuddle up next to him, his heartbeat your lullaby. He smiles in his sleep and his arms come up around you. Whenever he's missing his hat or sandals, you find them by your bed.
This new routine of you and your captain sleeping together left your other crewmates with their mouths on the floor several times. They still hadn't gotten used to you two waving goodnight and walking into the same bedroom. When they would ask, you tried to explain but there really wasn't anything to explain. You and their captain couldn't sleep unless you slept together. That's all, why do they always stare at you in such surprise when you say that? Their shocked faces didn't discourage you both into cuddling up to each other at night, finding relaxation, warmth, safety, and comfort in each others arms. What was once your space becomes "our bedroom", "our closet", "our bathroom".
#luffy#monkey d luffy#one piece#straw hat luffy#luffy x you#luffy x reader#luffy headcanons#luffy fluff#one piece headcanons#one piece imagine#shout out to that anon that inspired me to finish this#look my personal headcanon for luffy is that he's either aroace or demisexual but truly that he's so focused on his goals that#he doesn't think about anything in a 'sexual' or 'romantic' way because if he does he would become obsessed with that person and that would#break his mind away from his goals and his enemies that are in the way of his goals yk? and he can't have that because he's gotta be king#idk i just felt the need to explain that because i truly don't see luffy getting into a standard romantic relationship until#after he's the pirate king#so something like this i feel is more likely for luffy because it's not really a romantic relationship it's more of a companionship#they just find comfort in each other and when you're out at sea and your friends are constantly in giant battles and#people you love are getting hurt and emotions are high then when your comfortable around someone it can become your 'happy place'#and we all know luffy's love languages are touch and quality time so this is perfect for him#but who knows maybe that's just my aroace ass talking#rant over
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And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
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a woman is an animal
[image description: a page of drawings of fionna campbell from adventure time on a lime green background. in this, fionna is drawn fat with jean shorts, ankle socks and boots, and visible body hair on her legs and arms. on the left is a fully rendered drawing of fionna cheering and running with a determined look on her face. to the left are various simple doodles of fionna, including her sitting on the ground with her arms wrapped around her knees and the caption "the Beast", her looking shocked, and various incredibly simplified blob-like fionnas. the drawing is also littered with small drawings of stars. end id]
#yknow i did type out an entire rant about fionnas design and how it reads like one of those annoying men=angles women=curves '''art tips'''#but i deleted all of it bc im finding inner peace <3 love and light#anyways Let Her Actually Look Like Someone Who Grew Up Fighting People In The Woods#doc talks#my art#eyestrain#adventure time#fionna campbell#fionna the human#fionna and cake#adventure time fionna
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emily prentiss + leaving and coming back for her family
#criminal minds#criminalmindsedit#criminalmindsverse#proceduraledit#emily prentiss#emilyprentissedit#cmverseedit#tvedit#filmtvcentral#dailyflicks#femalecharacters#bitchys#mine#edit#*#category*#tag meta#forever thinking about emily prentiss as a yoyo falling away from her family and coming back when they tug#and that her motivation for back and forth is the same - it's always about what she thinks is best for her family in that moment#her choice is always to protect them and the fact that she leaves to protect them from HER? that she always sees herself as the problem??#(she ruined matthew she betrayed doyle she killed tsia)#BUT BUT BUT them needing her? hotch asking her to lead reid asking her to fight jj asking her to stay??? she always /always/ comes back#and i find it very interesting that this yoyoing usually runs parallel to her own moral reflection - she left the first time because she#both morally objected to strauss's political game and to protect the team as individuals. she came back in s7 because she wanted something#'clean.' and she considered leaving in s13 and s17 because she had broken her own moral code each time. and that's such a meaty facet#of emily as a character because her priority is ALWAYS her family and protecting them. but what that looks like changes and costs#and is never ever an easy choice for her. emily does what she needs to as a protector but she doesn't let herself off the hook. she thinks#DEEPLY about what she does and whether she's ok with her actions. which sends her toward distancing herself from her family#for their own protection (because she's the problem see above) and the whole cycle starts again!!#(someday i'll rant about how this all ties into her leaving in run - the one time it was about HER but also not - but i'm out of tag space)
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I have a gripe about the Star Trek mugs...
Picard's teacup is a delicate, fragile little thing held by a strip of plastic and a dream. That thin glass will break if you look at it sideways. And where do they put that ridiculous tiny cup? On the Enterprise, which is always being dragged into conflict
The DS9 raktajino mugs are hefty, wide-based things that are meant to not tip over. They're called no-spill mugs. They have a foam piece on the bottom so they don't slip. They're incredibly sturdy – meant for ships and traveling! Where do they put them? At the station, which is arguably the most stable place they could be cause DS9 rarely gets knocked about.
Far as I'm concerned, Janeway's the only one doing practical space mugs correctly. Come on, a metal travel mug that's as strong as her coffee is black? Takes a beating through 70,000 light years of bridge shakes fighting off the Borg and the Hirogen and still holds a hot drink? Now that's a space mug
#is this the spoon post all over again? am I just insane about dishware?#it's 3am and I'm ranting about space mugs#believe me Picard's teacup is fragile or I just had a bad one#I broke one by putting a butter knife in it doing dishes smdh#I know they all have more mugs but we're talking about icons#I exclusively drank coffee out of the Picard mug until it broke then I retired it#the defiant mug gets a pass cause it's basically the proto Janeway mug they're both thermos Nissan#and the iconic ds9 mug is the raktajino mug I don't make the zeitgeist#inevitably someone is going to come at me for the defiant mug cause this is tumblr where ds9 lives#it's not called Star Trek Defiant though is it?#you say ds9 mug people will think raktajino ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#I have a collection of screen accurate mugs I have a draft somewhere ranking them all#I drink out of the raktajino mug more than Janeway's mostly because hers is impossible to find and honestly the no spill is a good mug#don't get me started on how hard these mugs are to clean#I will fight you about this
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Dying in pain because I was re-reading the SVSSS extras and I came upon this (note this is part 1 due to tumblr allowing only 10 images per post – will release part 2 when I am physically ready to read SVSSS extras again)
One of the saddest things about Shen Jiu's backstory is the fact he doesn't immediately assume Yue Qingyuan abandoned him. It would've been sad enough if he just accepted that Yue Qingyuan would leave him at the first opportunity that arises, but instead Shen Jiu has faith in him. Faith that Yue Qingyuan would never abandon him. He thinks of different reasons why Yue Qingyuan hadn't yet returned. 'Maybe he's injured, maybe he's been trapped, or maybe he's dead even!'
Shen Jiu even resigns himself to finding Yue Qingyuan's 'dead' body and burying him himself, regardless of the fact that he might be getting into more danger. It's only after Shen Jiu had long since escaped the Qiu Household and was under the control of the Wu Yanzi, the demonic Cultivator who taught him, and they meet Yue Qingyuan at the Immortal Alliance Conference did Shen Jiu realise that Yue Qingyuan 'abandoned' him.
We see this in the dialogue that leads up to Shen Jiu accepting that Yue Qingyuan is 'Qi-Ge's' new name.
Before this scene, all the dialogue had listed Yue Qingyuan as 'Qi-Ge' or as 'Yue Qi'. (Qi-Ge when they were on the streets and Yue Qi also when they were on the steets and in the examples shown below)
The scene from earlier where Shen jiu accepts that his 'Yue Qi' is gone makes this all the more heartbreaking.
He asks Yue Qingyuan why he never returned. Simple and straightforward — the most straightforward, dare I say understanding, that Shen Jiu has been to anyone at this point. He simply asks him why he didn't come back, why he went missing for so long, why he's now dressed up as if he were a noble young master and the current Qiong Ding Head Disciple. He's willing to wait for an answer, willing to hear and try and understand. Would he have understood and accepted any excuses, no one truly knows, but Shen Jiu was willing to at least try.
When Yue Qingyuan opens his mouth and only a empty apology in the form of 'I let you down...' comes out, not even a reason or an excuse, Shen Jiu realises something.
He is talking to Yue Qingyuan.
He no longer considers Yue Qingyuan his Qi-Ge. To him, Yue Qingyuan is just like the other spoiled young masters that used to belittle him on the streets, the same stuck up fool born with a golden spoon in his mouth that was born too lucky to understand his pains.
After this scene and after Shen Jiu joins Cang Qiong, I can't find any scene where Yue Qingyuan is referred to as Yue Qi by Shen Jiu ever again.
Shen Jiu realises that he would have preferred Yue Qi, his Qi-Ge, was dead.
Shen Jiu genuinely cared and trusted Yue Qingyuan (or Yue Qi to be more accurate). In the scene where the other street kids where being attacked by Qiu Jianluo, Shen Jiu is laughing and states that they deserved it, clearly taking joy in their misfortune, but the moment Yue Qi gets involved, Shen Jiu becomes concerned.
He chases after Yue Qi, chases after him as the other goes to save another boy who Shen Jiu only moments ago had been laughing at for 'getting what he deserved'. This was also the very same boy who Shen Jiu had been fighting with for his begging spot.
Shen Jiu clearly does not show any level of care for the other street kids, yet he shows an exception foe Yue Qi. He willingly chases Yue Qi when the boy goes to save a boy Shen Jiu hates. He willingly waits for Yue Qi to return despite being tortured for so long with no hope in sight. He willingly gives Yue Qi the opportunity to give him an excuse for why he never came back and seemingly abandoned him so he could join the 'elites' on Cang Qiong and become its future Sect Leader.
People say that Yue Qingyuan shows favouritism to Shen Jiu, but I dare say that Shen Jiu shows an equal amount of favouritism to Yue Qi.
If anyone else dared to do something similar to Shen Jiu, Shen Jiu absolutely would've murdered them at first sight. Yet Shen Jiu has allowed Yue Qi all of this.
Shen Jiu doesn't accept any of Yue Qingyuan's attempts at an empty apology, because he's tired of getting hurt. Hurt from giving Yue Qi chances and giving him time, and recieving nothing but empty guilt filled apologies.
Apologies that feel more like lies to help sooth some guilt that Yue Qingyuan has for his past than actual remorse for betraying Shen Jiu. Yue Qingyuan believes that his actual reason would only be insulting to Shen Jiu, but if he had just broken for a mere moment and told Shen Jiu even a glimpse of the truth, then I guarantee you that Shen Jiu's intelligence would lead to him figuring everything out in one hour most.
However, Yue Qingyuan does not break his formal mask of distance politeness, does not cry and tell Shen Jiu he was quite literally unable to leave and save him, does not tell him about how Yue Qingyuan thought the other had died.
Shen Jiu simply wishes the corpse of his dead friend would stop apologising for something he never explains and would simply leave him alone.
Yet, Yue Qingyuan (Yue Qi) is a wound that will never stop bleeding.
He wants Yue Qingyuan to leave him behind again — this time he demands it of Yue Qingyuan.
However, Yue Qingyuan promised himself he would never abandon Shen jiu again.
The Two Soulmates Who Fate Itself Separated.
#mxtx svsss#svsss#shen jiu#original shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#qi ge#xiao jiu#Bamboo thinks#Shen Jiu and Yue Qingyuan would’ve be so much happier if Qian Cao offerred mandatory therapy and communication was a normalised skill#qijiu#why i can never ship shen yuan with Yue Qingyuan#feels like im taking something else from Shen Jiu#NO HATE TO YUE QINGYUAN AND SHEN YUAN SHIPPERS THOUGH!#character analysis#trust Shen Jiu gets a mushroom body and finds Yue Qingyuan and the two commmunicate and live happily ever after#trust MXTX told me herself in a dream#part one because Tumblr only allows 10 images per post#Shen Jiu secretly had favoritism for Yue Qingyuan#Just too much miscommunication and trauma got between them#not really analysis#more ranting to get my pain out
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