#is making wonderful experiments
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me today _march 20th, 2024
#going to sao paulo and not to have my own place there#is making wonderful experiments#inside me#xxgmcx#wlw#sapphic#dyke#dyke posting#dyke nsft#queer#queer artist#lesbian#lesbian artist#lesbo#dykeposting#dykes of tumblr#dyke4dyke#femme fatale#femme4butch#femme lesbian#femme4masc#femme4femme#femme nsft#butch bait#gnc lesbian#gnc women#sappho#lesbianism#brazil#sao paulo
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Local Wizard Goes To Store, Casts Duplicate On All The Items
aka I went to the antique mart this weekend and did a bunch of art studies in augmented reality! SUPER fun way to hone the ol 3D brush skills
#art#video#art video#3d art#artists on tumblr#virtual reality#vr#augmented reality#ar#figmin xr#magic leap#i also shared the magic leap with all the store employees so they knew what i was doing in there lol#they LOVED it and told me to come back anytime#and that they'd share all my work on their insta#extremely wholesome experience#ar glasses are like a cheat code to social interaction for me#they make people approach me first but they do so VERY politely#since it looks like i'm creating something even if they can't see what it is#and then i share the glasses with them and the sheer AWE people experience is so wonderful#and then we instantly have something cool to talk about!#very bizarre that a face-computer could be an anxiety lifehack like this but here we are lol
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
#i realised too late that it has been more than a fuking year (august 9)#and for context: ive had 3 different intagram art accounts and i deleted all 3 of them a few months before creating them. anxiety amiright#here it has been so different bc people are so nice??? it has been a pretty plesant experience here w all of u really#im so glad to have found myself in such a wonderful part of the fandom and amazing mutuals that i never talk to bc im shit w texting#the atention has been overwhelming ngl. i have over 2000 followers which. holy fuck???#it doesnt feel like a real number and for my own sake im nnot gonna treat it as one#like i apreciate the support and ppl liking what i do but im not here to make number go big yk? im here to connect w other humans#and yall have been amazing humans ^^ thank u for all the wonderful tags and comments and the support overall#it has been so cool sharing my art and finding other artist whom i respect oh so very much. some of them even follow me back wtf#i hope to continue being here for as long as i can and keep growing as an artist and sharing that process with other without fear#also my amy redesign actually goes so hard idk why i forgot about it nxnfbcncb#sth#sonic fanart#sonic#amy rose#nov.aart#nov.junk
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How is Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves different from other blockbuster action films?
#justice smith#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dndhat#dndhatedit#justicesmithedit#mine **#there's so much joy to be had over content that allows viewers to have wonder and *like* things#without immediately being teased or even shamed for being invested in a make-believe world#*especially* because the experience of playing dnd is entirely about imagination & sincerity#it's about committing to your character and committing to a story with your friends !!!#and i am endeared ( clearly )#1k **#5k **#10k **
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Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Sorry to everyone who was looking forwards to this comic only to find out I put WWX in the ugliest outfit.#Continuity came first. Plus let's be honest; he did *not* show up in anything fancy. Or in all black as seen in most fanart.#We are at the middle of WWX depression arc. His self-care was 100% because Jin Yanli would be sad if he didn't try to look nice.#Okay okay. Fine I've delayed talking about the kiss long enough.#It is absolutely a core LWJ scene over a WWX scene. Which is made even more fascinating because we don't get his POV.#But we get so many insights! His loss of control and his firmness all contrasted against how he trembles.#And all of that wrapped up in a wonderful self-loathing bow! You go Lan Zhan! You hated yourself so much for this!#WWX is a hilarious narrator for this because he is truly just...baffled by what's going on.#He would push the person away but he doesn't want to hurt their feelings or pride (putting other people first again are we?)#I do understand why this one is divisive for people though. I choose to look at it through a character/humourous lens.#I've seen people defend and admonish this scene as a particularly shitty thing LWJ did and let's be very clear here: It was.#That's why I like it. LWJ did a shitty thing and struggles with it. It's part of what makes him so robust as a character.#It's also fine if you enjoy this scene for it's eroticism. You're not a bad person for that. You are just A Person.#People will have their own experiences with this topic. Be kind to each other alright?
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feetman
#hlvrai#half live vr but the ai is self aware#gordon freeman#gordon feetman#so idk if theres any like ‘metastory’ to there being a player or if its literally just supposed to be wayne#but i thought it would be kinda interesting for the player to be his own guy#cause like to me#a big part of it that makes it fun is that gordon has like#no actual stakes#dude is getting pissed for the sake of it#he knows its a game and is just freaking out at the ai being so alive u know#now since i cant remember if theres some kind of canon or metastory to the player you can completely decide for yourself why hes playing#or how he got the game#is he just some guy? is it an experiment? is it for his job? who knows!#hes The Player#also if ur wondering why his design is so similar to gordons#its cause i didnt wanna stray into the unrecognizable lmao#also. i really really really didnt wanna draw the fucking suit#and yes thats benrey on the tamagotchi#i think it would be very funny if he could cart them all around in tamagotchis#sorry for long tags
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my attempt at making a fursona
#i never see any mole furries so i thought id try my hand at it ^_^#i was hungry making this and was thinking of dirt cup pudding so its partly inspired by that and mario grass blocks#i dont draw furries very often so this was a fun learning experience lol. also!! star nose moles are kinda cute!!!!#when i was coming up with a name my mind kept going back to that tiktok of dogs and the tts voice saying stuff like i like mulch#mulch is my favorite food! yippee mulch!! so if youre wondering where i got the name theres the lore for it#i also wanna make a sea otter fursona.. and perhaps a snowshoe hare or other winter animal. oh or a barn owl!!#im trying to free my mind when it comes to making multiple sonas bc im still trying to wrap my head around it#ive always kinda seen myself as my persona but i want to try and be silly with it. actually while i was making this i was a little doubtful#to call it my fursona bc it doesnt look like me but a little voice inside my head was like well. youre not a 5 foot tall talking mole eithe#so you might as well. and i was thinking abt ppl with their dragon wolves with wings and i was like wow.. youre right... i can do what i#want forever. and brother that shit was enlightening it was like my third eye opened when i realized that#my art#myart#my oc#oc#fursona#mulch#furry art#sfw furry#character design#oc ref sheet#reference sheet
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#🐉#this is what i love about being involved in community spaces for fiction though tbh#everyone has different personalized interpretations of the source material and some of them align with my own or make me go 'oh huh i never#thought of that but yeah i can see it' while some of them just dont compute at all and make me wonder if we saw the same thing#which of course. we didnt. or rather we saw the same objective source material but we *saw* it completely differently through the lens of#our own experiences and worldview.#its so cool#however i will sometimes be a hypocritical little hater about it
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Petition to give Sun a hug because oof
#Felt like experimenting with having their mouths properly emote#Also can we talk about what a messed up choice Sun has to make??#His choices are either kill Moon (metaphorically) kill Moon (physically) or have Moon hurt him on the CHANCE he'll snap out of it#which would be forcing Sun to relive the trauma he went through with Old Moon#And he doesn't even know about Monty's plan to bring back OM either!#Like dang#No wonder he's hesitant#five nights at freddy's#sun and moon show#fnaf sun#tsams#tsams lunar#tsams fanart#fnaf daycare attendant#daycare attendant#fnaf dca#meagancandraw
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I’ve been interacting with new fanfic writers and also been seeing some folks share the fact that they care about hits, bookmarks, and comments on their work as if they’re embarrassed by that fact.
I’m just here to say you shouldn’t ever ever ever feel that way.
Writing, in this case fanfiction writing, can be a very lonely journey at times. If you’re brave enough to post online, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to receive validation. Because when you don’t, I think that’s the equivalent of playing or singing a song and nobody claps once you’re done. Imagine the Olympics or local sports arena or little league game with empty stands. Not a single soul cheering at the end of a concert. Nobody shows up to the art gallery. Nobody eats the baked goods you made with love at the party. All of those scenarios undoubtedly hurt.
Yes, you did it for yourself. Because you love this passion of yours. Because you’re working on your skills. Because you’re proving something to yourself.
But there’s a reason so many of humanity’s passions happen in front of a crowd.
Art is meant to be seen, music is meant to be heard, and yes, fanfiction is meant to be read.
We all want to know our art made an echo.
And yes, we all want to know somebody clapped for us. It validates us, it encourages us, it motivates us to keep going when we’re burnt out. It’s also just plain fun. All of these apply to world class musicians or athletes. For fan fiction writers, the audience cheering is as simple as a hit or a comment. It’s someone engaging with our work in a positive manner. So if you’re feeling that way and you feel bad about it—remember you’re human. And your passion and hobby is just as worthy of receiving audience reception as anybody else.
Fanfiction is a communal space, not just a solitary act. Give love back. Engage wherever and whenever you can. Open yourself to viewing this as a two way dialogue with other writers and readers. Give yourself grace and compassion when you’re disappointed. And when it’s your turn—don’t forget to clap.
#fanfiction#ao3 writer#fandom wank#fanfic writing#it’s an analogy I thought about today and just need to write down#your art shouldn’t exist in a vacuum#nobody’s art or passion should cuz it’s meant to be shared#I’m in my feels lately I’ve been writing fanfiction for over a year now after several year hiatus#and it’s been so wonderful BECAUSE of the engagement like it’s how I’ve made new friends#and that’s what makes this experience worth it
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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The Tim Drake Heartthrob Conspiracy – Part 2: A Heartthrob with Loser Rizz
So, Tim Drake is Gotham’s newest heartthrob. Cool, right? Except, well… there’s one tiny problem.
For all the brooding good looks, the sharp jawline, and that mysterious allure that has Gotham swooning, Tim Drake has absolutely no game. Like, zero. Nada. It’s a full-blown mystery how this man, who looks like he belongs on magazine covers, can be such a disaster in the romance department.
It all started with his date after that iconic moment when he rolled into the Batcave in that tailored suit. Everyone expected the night to go smoothly. It was Tim, after all—Mr. CEO, Mr. I-Can-Run-A-Multi-Billion-Dollar-Company. Surely, that would translate to his love life, right?
Wrong.
The next morning, Dick was the first to catch Tim yawning over his third cup of coffee. “Rough night?” he asked with a knowing smirk.
Tim just groaned, “I fell asleep on the rollercoaster.”
Dick blinked. “Wait, you fell asleep? On the rollercoaster?”
Tim sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I hadn’t slept in two days, and it was… kinda relaxing? The adrenaline and all.”
And that was just the beginning.
Steph found out later that Tim had somehow managed to spill soda on his date twice—once while trying to explain a complicated merger (because who doesn’t love business talk on a date?) and then again when he tripped over his own chair. By the end of the night, his date probably thought she was being pranked.
Cass, being Cass, summed it up perfectly: “Tim is Gotham’s biggest heartthrob, but he’s also Gotham’s most awkward date.”
Jason, of course, had to weigh in. “This is the same guy who walked into a glass door because he was distracted by a text.”
Let’s not forget the infamous “flower shop incident.” Tim, trying to be romantic, went to pick up flowers before another date, but things quickly went south. How? Well, let’s just say, when you knock over five vases, trip into a display of roses, and end up covered in petals, it’s hard to look suave.
By the time the Batfam heard about that little misadventure, Damian had had enough. “Drake, how is it that you have the charisma of a plank of wood?”
Still, Tim doesn’t mean to be such a disaster. It’s just, well, life seems to have it out for him when he’s trying to impress someone. He once spent an entire dinner talking about the intricacies of encryption algorithms—his date didn’t even make it to dessert. And don’t even mention the time he thought bringing homemade spreadsheets to a movie date would be cute. (Spoiler: It wasn’t.)
Yet, somehow, despite all of this, the mystery of Tim Drake continues to deepen. People are still thirsting after him. The forums are still buzzing with talk of his “quiet charm” and “endearing quirks.” Even his awkward moments somehow manage to add to his appeal, giving him this relatable, down-to-earth vibe that no one in Gotham can seem to resist.
And so, the Batfamily remains baffled. Tim may be Gotham’s biggest heartthrob, but when it comes to actual dating?
He’s a disaster wrapped in a perfectly tailored suit.
#tim drake#batfam#tim is gothams biggest heartthrob but also the biggest date disaster#somehow he keep pulling baddies despite having no rizz and a reputation for awkward dates#the bats are baffled#they wonder how this guy is still getting dates???#being a disaster just makes him more wanted#everyone makes their own version of a game 'what would happen if i went on a date with tim drake'#where they try to create the most bizzare scenarios of tim drake on a date and who ever has the craziest or most awkward scenario wins#i'll never be over the fact that he once fell asleep on a rollercoaster during a date#tim is so wanted by everyone bcs they all want to experience on of his infamous dates for themselves#they dont believe it could be that bad right?#they're all wrong#it is that bad#but its okay he makes up for it with endearing apologies and thoughtful gifts for the inconvenience#it just makes him more desirable honestly
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Ah, childhood memories (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Gaster#Having such clear external-view memories of what happened when they were young would probably give Sans a lot of ammunition lol#Not that they'd know any different - their poor memories honestly :( - but having such clear memories in places would have to be weird#Most people have childhood amnesia to an extent! Tho it's hard to say when that would've applied to them anyway with their sped-up growth#Not to mention the trauma#And it's possible that doesn't apply to Monsters to begin with lol - but it's all a moot point anyway since these are their only memories!#It's sad to think of how much of themselves are missing forever since Gaster didn't experience them :(#This is what happens when you get behind on your work >:0#I really wonder what their lack of memories/restoration of memories would do for their like/dislike of certain things!#Like how Papyrus says that sitting with Sans in his lap makes a lot of sense as to why it was so familiar and comforting#But also that knowing makes it sad as well :( Knowing recolours their understanding and interpretation!#Knowing Why makes things make sense but does it actually Help? It's a tough question - certainly it hurts in the moment#The little things Gaster has infected for them and for himself ♥ Like taking notes! Like chess and sweets and spaghetti and lab coats#And dark sweaters and cigarette smoke and hugs and intelligence - how many pieces of all of them have A Feeling attached#How many more have A Memory - and even more than that A Memory Lost and unrecoverable ughhh ♥#But the little things they can hold on to hehe <3 Like pinging Gaster for what they all know and remember#Why does he even keep coming over if he knows the reception he'll get? Lol#Feels particularly self-loathing and goes to get bullied as penance pfft
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you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.
you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.
instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.
you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.
your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.
because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.
so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.
all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.
#spilled ink#woke up at 530 to write this lmafo#me in a cold sweat:#how do i be normal#edit in the tags:#hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate#like if this is about X specific diagnosis#and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition''#because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc#and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition#but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis#because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons#why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are.#that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person#.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that#it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself#palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with....#this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate#would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them#bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume#that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now#we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal''#[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into]#but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be''#and im like ... of course it was about you.#art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation .#you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you.#there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this#regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it#and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.
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whoever designed her ,,,,,,,,,,,they knew what they were doin
#qkdraws#id in alt#GOD she's so cool#rika my friend rika she's the coolest ever in the whole wide world !!!11!!!!111!!!!1#idk what it is abt her that makes me always add halftone effects to her but . she's gettin em#she's literally the coolest ever.have i mentioned that yet#pokemon#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon rika#rika pokemon#elite four rika#SHE'S SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok im normal <3#i need to dye my hair that color again for my mental stability it Needs to be done#ill blow up the earth if i don't. ill blowit up#i wonder how much gender euphoria ill experience if i dress like that. i have a feeling it'd be enough to end countries#one day . one day ill be half as cool as her
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it's always "autism acceptance" until the autistic person is weird, or fat, or a man, or has poor hygiene, or a POC, or makes unfunny jokes, or isn't a cute feminine gay, or is actually bad at communicating, or needs to have things explained to them, or is too loud, or too quiet, or needs to be told something multiple times to understand it, or has mannerisms that make people stare at them, or, or, or, etc. if you would show patience to the cute autistic girl who collects plushies and stims by flapping her hands then you MUST show equal patience to the large autistic boy who stims by humming or hitting his head and worms underwater welding into every conversation. I am no longer asking. your acceptance cannot begin and end with people you deem palatable.
#jay says a thing#im also not dissing cute autistic plushie girls either#their autism is valid#its a spectrum and everyone experiences it differently#but this is something ive seen over and over again IN PROGRESSIVE SPACES. IN *AUTISTIC* SPACES. and it is so so heartbreaking#like oh my god if an autistic person makes you uncomfortable maybe examine why that is. maybe check for internal biases.#im so tired of seeing this shit#people will write off a wonderful person because of their own internalised bullshit and it kills me#autism
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