#is jaskier fae? no

[thedemonofcat]

“Ugh, I hate when I have to lie! It makes my mouth so itchy!”

Geralt paused mid-step to look at Jaskier.

The bard noticed and asked, “what?”

“Mouths don’t itch when you lie.”

“Geralt, I know how lies work. I’ve been alive for thirty years.”

That was when Geralt started connecting the dots about Jaskier’s forgotten fae ancestry.

“Next, you’ll be telling me iron is supposed to burn,” Jaskier grumbled, prodding the iron spoons the tavern had set out with their stew.

“It’s not,” Geralt replied calmly. How did Jaskier still not realize he was Fae? Could he be a changeling?

“Then explain this,” Jaskier said, holding up his hands to reveal small red marks scattered across his skin.

Geralt hesitated, wondering if it was time to finally tell Jaskier the truth.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Jaskier never makes promises. He literally never says the word “promise”, and he swears no oaths.

It’s a subtle quirk. It takes Geralt years to notice. When he points it out, Jaskier says with false levity, “I guess I don’t.”

From the bard’s body language, Geralt can see he doesn’t want to talk about it, so the topic is dropped.

Years later—after Geralt screams his fury at Jaskier—the bard says in a broken voice, “Don’t worry, Geralt. I promise not to bother you anymore.”

The promise sears itself onto Geralt’s soul like a brand. One made of chaos, and he can feel it become binding.

Geralt whips around, but Jaskier was gone.

There are a few moments of confusion before Geralt realizes what just happened. Jaskier had promised, and that promise was sealed with chaos. Only the Fae have such an ability.

YESSSSSSS i love this Geralt has to track down Jaskier and prove that Jaskier doesn't bother him, and thus the promise is still ringing true, even as they continue traveling together

[hngryazn]

I'M BACK FROM THE DEAD!!

Trying my best to get back into traditional.. As a treat please accept some non-human Jaskier 😌

[elviehun]

now that '23 has finally kicked the bucket, we can talk about the really important thing:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEY!

[spielzeugkaiser]

Someone beat me to OnlyFans, so you can ignore that prompt lol. How about a throwback to fae!Jaskier? Maybe give him a holly crown?

An oldie but goldie! They are married in that 'verse, soooo... Accidental proposing through magic and flowers? Yesss

[flavoredfaeman]

Sharing a private moment

[spilledbutter]

alright back on my fae!jaskier bullshit

there are myths of fairies assuming the guise of animals

imagining jaskier in animal form acting as a companion for the witchers and helping them out in times of need

like lambert is getting stiffed by an alderman so jaskier turns into a magpie and starts pecking the shit out of the alderman and shitting in his hair until he drops his coin purse for lambert to take

geralt gets injured on a really difficult hunt and jaskier turns into a horse and hauls him bodily back to camp

eskel needs help getting information for a quest so jaskier turns into a mouse and sneaks into rooms and listens to conversations to help him spy and reports back what he's learned

but ALSO imagining him using his powers for evil

jaskier couldn't sleep all night and is up before eskel for once. he turns into a rooster and wakes him right the fuck up because he's bored

jaskier turning into a horse to talk shit about geralt with roach. they keep neighing and whinnying together and geralt gets progressively more and more annoyed. he will not tell geralt what was said

he and lambert need to cross a fast-moving river and the bridge is broken. jaskier, the little shit, turns into a fish and swims easily across. lambert has to figure out how to cross on his own

i could honestly keep going this is so fucking funny to me

[bardcore-jaskier]

♡My immortal Jaskier headcanons♡

So here are my headcanons, because I refuse to believe that our ball of sunshine has an expiration date...

So, I know Lauren said that Jaskier not aging in the show was just a filming mistake, something they simply forgot to do and on a completely logical level I am fully aware that in canon Jaskier is completely human, 100%. And I also know that they're not gonna change it, no matter how much some of us may wish they did (Although why not? They already strayed so far from the books and made so many changes, might as well go the extra mile)

Realistic-ish headcanons:

- Jaskier is part elf, perhaps quarter elf like Yennefer, it is an entirely justifiable headcanon, theoretically, Jaskier's human father could have married a half elf commoner woman (who may or may not have had the pointy tips on her ears cut off with a knife to avoid human prejudice)

- Jaskier has a fae ancestor, somewhere many many generations back in his ancestry, so his entire family is suspiciously long lived but nobody cares because Lettenhove isn't politically important and therefore doesn't catch the attention of the prejudiced Nobles farther up the royal court chain.

- Jaskier unintentionally drinks the same elixir mages/sorcerers drink to prolong their life. I read that chaos wielders don't have naturally long lifespans, they semi-regularly drink an elixir with mandrake roots in it to slow the aging process. According to Witcher Wiki, you can only buy mandrake root in Lindenvale and my headcanon is that Jaskier experiments with many different tea blends to see which one is more effective for soothing his throat after singing. So at the age of 29-30, he wanders into Lindenvale and buys some dried mandrake to make a tea, after one sip he felt more rejuvenated than ever and since that day, mandrake root tea has become his number one go-to, he drinks it as often as he can.

More fanfic centric, less canon possible headcanons:

- Jaskier is a Dryad. (Yayyy trans Jaskier headcanon) Since Lettenhove is so tiny, it isn't even on the Witcher continent map, but a simple Google search says that it is Located somewhere in Kerack. Kerack borders with Brokilon, so it's kind of a nifty little loophole for fanfic writers to use and place Lettenhove somewhere near the forests where Dryads live.

And while most Dryads treat any man that enters their realm as a mere sperm donor, Witcher Wiki does also mention that some Dryads can form emotional relationships and fall in love with humans and/or elves, but in the end, all Dryad born offspring is AFAB. So imagine this, Jaskier's father falls in love with a Dryad, she falls in love with him, they have Jaskier, Jaskier notices early on that he feels like a boy and his rich Viscount father hires a mage to help Jaskier transition early.

- Jaskier is a higher vampire, higher vampires are a HIGHLY secretive society, even in canon, part of the reason why even Witchers have so little information about them is because they prefer to hide in plain sight and are ridiculously good at it. Jaskier doesn't age, has no self-preservation instincts, doesn't buy a horse and yet still keeps up with Geralt on foot for 20 years. Jaskier's personality isn't fake, he doesn't act like someone else, it's all him, but his clumsiness is a little bit of an act, he also purposefully avoids physical fights, it comes across as fear of getting hurt but in reality it's because he's afraid of appearing too strong and exposing himself. Lettenhove doesn't appear on maps, because it doesn't exist legally, it's just a castle hidden in the woods, a safe place for higher vampires, kinda like Kaer Morhen is for Witchers, Jaskier's parents just happen to be the ones who run it.

[0dde11eth]

Vesemir is the Grumpiest kitten

Vesemir was having the strangest year of his long life. His pup geralt had not only managed to bind himself to a sorceress AND a Cintran princess, but also a member of the fairy Court.

The crashing of rocks in the background tell him that the sorceress and her pupil are hard at work, using their magic to help rebuild the northern tower. Echos of laughter drift down to vesemir. His pups are hard at work, helping put plaster in the cracks. Or at least they pretend to work hard when he's in eye sight. They still think that if they can't see him then he clearly can't tell what kind of mischief they are getting into.

Speaking of the little runaway viscount. "Hello bard."

"Good morning sir vesemir! And how are you this fine day? Ooh what are we harvesting today?"

"Watermelons, Lamberts cat brought me some seeds from his caravan last year, and I wanted to see how well they'd grow at this altitude."

Blue eyes peek over vesemirs shoulder, "I haven't seen a Watermelon in decades!" The young fae practically shouts in his excitement. "I can hardly wait, I swear between the treasures of your garden and cooking I've gained ten pounds, this last week alone!"

Vesemir chuckled at the bard, who was dressed in a shockingly bright green outfit, "true, you're beginning look like one of my watermelons"

A loud, dramatic gasp and a swat at his shoulder makes vesemir laugh even louder. "Nice try, but you're a kitten without any claws. All hissing and yowling and fluffing up trying to look scary"

"Rude!" Jaskier does indeed appear to fluff himself up as he draws in a deep breath to lecture the older wolf.

Before he can speak vesemir pats jaskiers head condescendingly. "I jest bard, a little kitten like you couldn't possibly eat an entire Watermelon. So we better save them all for the wolves. Help keep that figure trim."

Jaskier draws himself up glaring at the wolf. The teasing about his weight he can handle. Calling him a kitten? That's fine! But the audacity to not share the deliciousness of Watermelon?? This shall not stand!

"Let's see who's the kitten around here." Blue eyes become even bluer, glowing brightly as he gently taps the older Witcher on the nose with his forefinger.

"Bard what the hell are you doing!?" Vesemir roars in anger. Or at least he tries to. All that comes out is a series of tiny squeaks.

Long fingers come into view and vesemir swats them away, hissing furiously. The bards tinkling laughter fills the air and vesemir can feel himself being lifted by his scruff. Much to his annoyance, vesemir can't help how his body goes limp in response.

Jaskiers face appears in front of vesemirs own. "Oh you are the cutest thing! Yet you still look so grumpy, even as a kitten."

The bard brings vesemir closer and kisses his forehead, crooning under his breath. Vesemir growls at the affection, which just makes jaskier laugh more.

After a moment jaskier rearranges his grip, and as soon as he releases vesemirs scruff, vesemir takes advantage and attacks! With a wild yowl he scratches jaskiers cheek. A single drop of blood appears.

The fae heals it immediately, and huffs at at vesemir. "So rude! Well if you're not going to be good company, then I'll leave you be!

With that, jaskier places the cranky kitten on the ground, and decides to push his luck even further. "I look like a Watermelon do I? Well fine! A Watermelon I shall be!"

Another poof of magic fills the air, and in jaskiers place, a Watermelon sits. Rage fills vesemir at the faes antics and he scrambles around the plants and begins lecturing the fruit. bard. Whatever! He smacks the Watermelon without much success, considering how tiny his paws are. He can feel his fur fluffing up as his temper grows.

He's still yelling (mewing) at the bard to change them back, when the hungry pups wander into the garden, wanting to collect the pair for lunch.

To their surprise they see a cranky grey kitten, furiously growling and squeaking at a strange glowing Watermelon.

Lambert snorts. "Is that your bard?"

Eskels eyes widen, "is that... VESEMIR?"

Geralt simply sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose. Vesemir will be making him run the walls nonstop for months because he brought his ridiculous bard to kaer morhen.

[thedemonofcat]

“Dandelion!”

“I actually go by ‘Jaskier’ now,” the fairy said from where he lounged atop a giant mushroom. He rolled over to look down at the white-haired witcher. “What do you want? I haven’t even been in the human realm for years.”

The witcher replied, “I know. I don’t come to slay you. I’m here to bargain. Your bargains are known to be fair.”

Jaskier sighed, rolling his shoulders and fluttering his wings. “You see, this is why I left the human realm. Everyone wants to make deals. Why does everything have to be about deals?”

“I’ve brought treasures.” The Witcher continued, ignoring Jaskier’s point. “Take any of them. Take all of them. I just need twelve hours of uninterrupted, restful sleep.”

That ignited Jaskier’s interest. He rolled off the mushroom and soared down to look at the witcher properly.

Wow. He did look worse for wear. Jaskier almost couldn’t appreciate how beautiful his eyes were because of how bloodshot they were.

“Oh, you poor dear. You do need rest. Such a thing is easy for me to grant. So much so that I’d feel guilty taking your treasures. I’ll just ask for a little kiss instead.

Although Jaskier thought his offer was quite generous, the witcher balked.

Well, “there’s no need to be rude!”

“Sorry,” the witcher mumbled. “I just haven’t before.”

“Oh?” Jaskier said, and then he understood. “Oh! I did not mean to be so bold as to ask for your virtue.”

The witcher honest-to-gods blushed and grumbled, “not a virgin.”

“But you are a tad innocent,” Jaskier teased.

The witcher stuck out his hand, saying, “I accept your deal.”

Being the gentleman he was, Jaskier took the gloved hand and brought it to his lips. The magic of the deal burst to life the moment his lips brushed against black leather. “Sleep well, darling.”

Because he was a soft touch, Jaskier caught the suddenly sleeping witcher and even carried him back to his steed (lovely girl. Very protective, but she was smart enough to not try to bite Jaskier until Geralt was sleeping beside her).

Jaskier assumed he would never see the witcher again.

He was proven wrong.

Jaskier thought he’d been careful—at least, careful enough. But somehow, he’d still ended up in human hands.

"Let me go!" Jaskier shouted, yanking futilely at the iron chain clamped around his ankle. His wings beat desperately, but he couldn’t get far.

"Now, I may have exaggerated a bit about the ‘monster problem,’” came the smooth, smug voice of his captor from the other side of the door. “I don’t need you to kill anything, Witcher. Just to help me... train my new pet."

A key turned in the lock, and as soon as the door cracked open, Jaskier lunged. His hands missed the nobleman by inches, but he did manage to snatch a feathered quill from his belt.

"Bad!" the nobleman yelped, yanking the chain to pull Jaskier back. "I do apologize—”

Geralt’s eyes narrowed at the scene before him; he’d expected a standard job, but this was anything but. "You captured a fae," he said, voice low with warning. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"

[churchofpossum]

Sweet Nectar and Ambrosia

A patreon request for fae!Geralt from May. Full pic plus a sketch sheet can be found on Twitter.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 103

Geralt keeps waking up miraculously healed from contracts. Witcher healing is good, yes, but not that good. And it doesn't work if he goes into towns. He's undoubtedly weary of the phenomenon, but he can't exactly do anything about it at the moment. One night, after a hunt was significantly easier than expected, he's hopped up on too many potions, and the world has blurred and everything is TOO MUCH. Except for the soft yellow light in the distance, moving closer to him. As it gets closer, so too do the soft twinkling sounds. The ball of light hums and sings to him, even as he can barely focus on it's presence. He feels warmth in his wretched shaking hands and spares a second to glance at them, watching in shaken awe as a wound heals before his eyes. Ever since the night where he saw the glowing ball, he begins looking for signs of someone or something following him. He's healed and sung to, but what could the creature actually want from him? Why bother with it all? So one night, when he's bandaged up a scratch wound on thigh, he pretends to sleep. He waits, waits, waits, until finally he hears the twinkling chimes. He springs up and forward, snatching it out of the air, and looking at what he's caught, ready to demand answers, only to see a very startled little winged man staring at him. A fairy? "Why do you heal me?" "Because I like you, obviously!" "You don't know me." "Oh, but I do! I've been watching you for a few months now!" "....Hmm." "You're my muse! I've written songs about your adventures, would you like to hear?!"

[jenlizrose]

me n a friend did a little shoot inspired by our fave band

[z0mbie2b0y]

This is shit but here

Idk how tags work but here is my gift to the geraskefer fans😭

[parkranger-monster-fucker]

Please someone help me find a fic

Jaskier is fae I'm p sure and goes to kaer morhen with Geralt.

Geralt and Eskel ask him to help make gifts for each other, and Jaskier's dying inside bc he loves them and wants them to be happy.

Jaskier goes and makes them a picnic but goes into heat and gets found by a rotfiend I'm p sure, and Lambert tells them to get their heads out of their asses

[flavoredfaeman]

Dandelion taking a nap 😴😴