#jaskier dandelion

[ladycibia]

the return of jask-o'-lantern

[funerarya]

it's hard to be the bard, baby!!!

[elythegardeningbard]

The Asskier Chair

For those who don't know me well here, I moved in last year in my new home with my two children. I had been living with my parents since the beginning of the divorce proceedings so of course, when I moved in, I had basically nothing.

My parents offered to look around a few places, thrift stores and such, to help me fill up the place and this is the phone call I received from my mother (translated from French):

Mom :"I found you a chair"

"Okay"

Mom : "It's 80$. But you need it"

"I don't see how I would need an $ 80 chair..."

Mom: "You don't understand. There's a bard on it"

"A bard..? On the chair"

Mom: "Well exactly, on it yes. Actually... You sit on his face"

"..." Confused

So she sends me the following pictures

And of course I bought the Chair and of course, Twitter decided via poll that it would be names Asskier

Apparently, my dad was not impressed and he told my mom I wouldn't want it because we sat on his face.

Mom "Pretty sure it's the main reason Elias will want it. It's pretty gay"

Here's a more current picture of Asskier, living its best chair life in my living room

Near My lute and the Fireplace

[princessslolly]

When you’re spreading the good word

[abc-ok]

lemme hold them 🤲🏵️

[islenthatur]

Look we all know Jaskier is basically the same size as Geralt, and very much made of muscle. He'd have to be because Geralt gets hurt more times than Jaskier is pleased or comfortable with, and well someone has to pick Geralt up off the ground and carry him to Roach/Camp/Town.

Geralt knows this of course, he just forgets because Jaskier tailors his clothes to hide the muscle.

But... but his brothers don't know.

Geralt takes extreme pleasure in watching a very reluctant Jaskier tossing Lambert with barely any effort...

[hudine]

Jaskier kisses Geralt then flirts with someone before a preformence.

Random confused person: He just finished kissing you, now he’s flirting with me?

Geralt: That’s just Jaskier for you. I’d throw him in horny jail but he lives there, he’s got the key, and knows all the secret escape routes.

[finleycannotdraw]

interdimensional geraskier convention?????

from left to right: hexer geraskier, book gerlion, netflix geraskier, and game gerlion

colored about half of it on a discord call and the other half trying to ignore my family who had just arrived

closeups under the cut!

[dramaticqueerio]

I’m not saying I need Jaskier in every episode, I just wouldn’t be against it.

[misscalming]

"Jaskier wasn't gay/bisexual in the games!? Netflix can't make him gay that's woke garbage"

You did not just do Games "flirted with a straight cross dressing male elf" Jaskier dirty like that. I'm not making this up Geralt has to hunt down all of Jaskiers girlfriends to find him and one of them turns out to be a male elf who changes into female clothes and Geralt is like "soooo...... What did you guys-" and the cross dressing elf was like "we just talked after I rejected him cause I'm straight" I will find the book with all the poems about Jaskiers partners that he wrote. I'm sure the one about the cross dressing elf had a dozen sexual innuendoes

[georgies-ftts]

All that budget and they decided on making Jaskier look like he’s flat ironed his hair to his scalp???

justice for Joey Batey and all the grand things they could’ve done

at least he’s got his eyeliner😔

[ladycibia]

Another (maby cuddly) werwolf witcher/jaskier?

No cuddles (sorry!), they're working!

[myfriendsneedtostop]

So looking at Jaskier season 3 outfit for reasons (he's gorgeous and I do eventually hope to cosplay when my motivation beats out my depression and screen addiction).

I'm pretty certain (without rewatching) that it looks like Jaskier might have two different floral shirts!!

Same style even with the bicep lacing but I swear the floral/leaf pattern is different!!

This is important to me. So I'm sharing 😁💕

[elythegardeningbard]

Bards are meant to Frolick

[ithiliensmenagerie]

Jaskier becoming a witcher AU

There's been a few variations of this, probably every one of them better than the one in my head that probably plays very loose with canon I haven't actually seen or read yet, but I've had this idea were post-season 1 some mages got together, got some idea of how the trial of grasses worked, and got the ingredients as well as a lot of money. So they used the war is cover and payed some henchmen to aduct refugees from the road, where they experimented on them.

Huge numbers of people died, but noone really took notice as it's war. Then they actually hit jackpot and someone's kid survived and became a proto-witcher. They kept going with that recipe, and a lot of people still died, but some turned. So there's several hundred dead, and maybe a dozen survivors, nine of them children, three adults, one of which is Jaskier. He manages to get his knowledge of witchers and his charm together and convinces their small group to start a revolution. You might control impressionable children with super powers even while torturing them, it's a bit more difficult with adults.

They manage to kill most of the mages and henchmen, steal what they can, especially all thevresearch, burn down the place and run away.

And now they are on the road with nine children, all twelve of the hurting, and Jaskier tge only one with any actual witcher knowledge. He leads them in the general direction of Kaer Morhen and in the meantime keeps an eye out for any witcher on the road who might help them...

In one version they also kidnap Calanthe shortly before she can kill herself and use her blood for the potion. She's freed together with the prisoners waiting for exoerimentation, and travels with them.

I have no idea how it would turn out (definitely not happy for anyone involved). But the idea has been stuck in my head for months, so now I'm sharing it here.

[tepidti]

you're nothing, you're less, you're broken, a mess.