#is it probably inaccurate to canon? hell yeah

[ominouspositivity-or-else]

"There is no other story. A man, after he has brushed off the dust and chips of life, will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well - or ill?" ~ East of Eden, by John Steinbeck.

Jason Todd's one lasting salvation relies on the fact that he has never once killed an innocent person, even for all his pit-maddened attempts. He didn't kill Tim. He didn't kill Bruce. He didn't kill anyone who didn't deserve it.

Not once. He's killed the deranged, the murderers, the child traffickers, the rapists, the abusers, the Joker. None of those people are innocent.

His voice still shakes when he prays.

~~~

Aka: Jason Todd is the only Catholic in his family. He is also the only murderer. Good times are had by very few people in this fic. I just want the brainrot to cease.

You all asked, you all recieved. Also sorry if you didn't want to be tagged i'll never talk to you again if you don't want <3

@the-magic-school-bus @strawberry-muffin-crisis @my-rheality @redheadedbrunette @abandoned-as-mustard @youjustfeelthemforever @choasuqeen @icarus-ornithoptery

[musical-chick-13]

Ah yes. The age-old question of "Am I brave enough to put this fic on my account or should I just post it anonymously."

[blizzardheart12]

Descendants headcanon/theory || Hades

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶˚.꒷꒥꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶˚.꒷꒥꒷︶꒷

Theory: Hades was trapped in a mortal form BEFORE the creation of the Isle of the Lost

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶˚.꒷꒥꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶˚.꒷꒥꒷︶꒷

In the first Isle of the Lost novel, Mal’s dad was only mentioned once and referred to as a “pathetic, soft human” or something of the like. It’s clear now that this description was placed there intentionally to throw readers off so that the big Hades reveal would come as a complete shock to everyone once Descendants 3 was released, but given the fact that Mal supposedly knew who her real father was the whole time, what if that detail wasn’t totally inaccurate after all and Maleficent hadn’t really been lying?

If you’re familiar with Rick Riordan’s books, you’ll know that in the Percy Jackson series, the god Dionysus was punished by Zeus for flirting with a nymph and was forced to spend a century as a head counselor for Camp Half-Blood, and he wasn’t allowed to consume any alcohol during that time. And then in the Trials of Apollo series, the god Apollo was turned into a mortal teenager as a punishment and had to earn back his godly form by completing a series of difficult tasks. My theory is that Hades simply screwed up just like the other gods and had to put in his time in order to earn back his true form, albeit not completely without magic. He is still one of the “Big Three,” after all.

(Also, it tickles me how much he acted like Mr. D in D4. “Yeah, someone should help her.” What a goof lol)

This is why we see him as a teenager in Rise of Red and then as a grown man in Descendants 3, because his punishment was probably that he had to start out as a kid and then age like a normal human being. The other theory is that he still had the ability to change his appearance and used it to disguise himself as a teenage boy, where it wore off the second he got stuck on the Isle. I prefer the former theory— it’s kind of cute to imagine him growing up alongside his friends, and perhaps that was part of whatever lesson Zeus was trying to teach him about life or something. That’s why I mentioned Dionysus’s prohibition earlier, because just as that punishment temporarily forced him not to indulge in his own abilities, Hades’ punishment did the same thing. The former had to be sober, and the latter had to leave the shadows and live a life. Who knows? It would make a hell of a good story.

It just so happens that during this little time-out of his, Hades decided to attend Merlin Academy— or perhaps Zeus forced him to do that too— where he met and fell in love with Maleficent and then later on got himself imprisoned on the Isle with no real power to stop that from happening (I’m sure his brothers got a real kick out of that). Then of course, Mal was born, so that punishment definitely had some upsides. I’m fairly certain that Hades’ godly punishment ended (or got cut short) just after the Isle’s barrier came down. Maybe Zeus wanted to see Hades become a good dad or something, which is a little ironic, but whatever.

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶˚.꒷꒥꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶˚.꒷꒥꒷︶꒷

Anyway, that’s my theory! My only defense as to why I referenced Percy Jackson so much is because the series is also published by Disney, so it could technically be canon, at least in some aspects. Let me know what you think! Also I’d love to hear other people’s ideas as to how Hades got himself punished in the first place.

[balanceoflightanddark]

I've read several Azulaang AUs where Aang gets Azula to open and master all of her chakras. Each with their own take on what's blocking them.

What do you think is blocking all of Azula's chakras? What's your take?

Well, I'm not a huge expert on chakras, but I can think of a few things that might be interfering with Azula's if you want to go that route. Course this is gonna take a little bit to go through each and every one of them, so get comfy.

Earth: This one should be fairly easy. This chakra deals with survival and is blocked by fear. Fear and Azula go together like bread and butter. Sure, many people think of Azula causing fear, but you also have to remember that Azula is terrified herself. Particularly of failure and the consequences of failure. Especially poignant since...well, the price of failure could possibly be maiming or even worse. A very real possibility with Ozai as your father. Hell, in the novelization of Sozin's Comet, we get this particular scene:

Overcoming and opening her Earth chakra means overcoming her fear of failure. Which would be difficult, but also a major step since that means overcoming Ozai's conditioning.

2. Water: Another fairly obvious one. This deals with pleasure and is blocked by guilt. People often accuse of Azula of having no guilt for a lot of things. Which in many ways isn't entirely inaccurate (I mean, you can't exactly feel guilty over something you do that for your entire life is told to be correct). However, we do get a good idea of what might be blocking this particular chakra in the mirror scene.

We see in this scene that Azula admits that she did treat Mai and Ty Lee poorly, but also said she didn't have any choice because...well, fear is the only reliable way in her mind. Hell, she wouldn't be reacting this way if she didn't have any guilt over the whole mess. Even though, again, when you grow up under Ozai's shadow, that screws up how you view the world. Coming to grips with how wrong her worldview is and forgiving herself for how bad things got with some of the only positive relationships in her life can help unblock this chakra.

3. Fire: Driven by willpower. Blocked by shame. Azula has a determination that puts a lot to others to shame. To be the best firebender, the perfect daughter, the embodiment of what the Fire Nation should be. And her success was driven by that will (and less luck as Zuko puts it), particularly with firebending and being able to bend blue fire.

Unfortunately, the shame of her humiliating defeat at Sozin's Comet probably shattered that willpower. And I could see it affecting her firebending if she's as shaken as she was in canon about what happened. Learning that her loss doesn't necessarily mean she's a failure and learning to fall in love with firebending outside of the context of combat and competitiveness to just firebending for firebending's sake, to appreciate the effort it takes to be so good can go a long way to unblock this chakra.

4. Air: Embodiment of love. Blocked by grief. Azula and love...yeesh. What a complicated history that one is. Azula is undeniably capable of love, and did have love for her family members. She wouldn't have hallucinated Ursa and been shaken by her rejection if that weren't the case. She did care about Zuko enough to bring him home with his honor intact while warning him about visiting Iroh. And her love for Ozai is undeniable.

And they all left in the end. Ursa neglected her. Zuko took everything from her (taking one of the few genuinely compassionate acts she did and throws it in her face). And Ozai abandoned her to the wolves. Not to mention her ruined relationship with Mai and Ty Lee, and she's more than wracked with grief. Again, she wouldn't have broken down if she didn't love them. That is the meaning of loss and grief.

5. Sound: Embodiment of truth. Blocked by lies.

...

Yeah that goes without saying that Azula is a knack liar. More importantly, even to herself. Azula's convinced herself that she's some irredeemable monster. That her only choice is to play with the cards given to her and embrace that notion of being a monster.

Thing is...she isn't. As proven before, she's NOT a monster. She is capable of showing compassion and love. Even if she's bad at showing it, she's not the callous, heartless demon she tries to present herself as. Unblocking this chakra means accepting that her lie is exactly that: a lie. And embracing the truth that she is indeed capable of so much more than what Ozai or herself have taught her to be.

6. Light: Embodies insight. Blocked by illusion. We've talked about lying before, but this particular one can also mean her regards to the Fire Nation in general. Azula, like so many others, was raised with the belief that the Fire Nation was the superior nation. That fire was the superior element, and that their way was justified.

But just like Azula's lie, the illusion is just an illusion. The Fire Nation isn't inherently better than the others, and their drive, their cause was built on the ego of the Fire Lords and a misguided attempt to bring about a world in their own image. If the previous chakras are about breaking down Azula's self image and her relationship to Ozai, then it sets the bedrock for unblocking this chakra and discovering just what the Fire Nation truly has done.

7. Thought: Embodies pure cosmic energy. Blocked by earthly ties. This one is...unique. The others are at least defined by something concrete. Pure cosmic energy is something that's a bit more abstract. Azula's earthly ties are easy. They're all the blockages that we've just mentioned and shaped her as a person. And we've just talked about how she can overcome them.

The final step would be to finally break ties from them. To accept that no, she's NOT defined by Ozai. She's NOT a monster. And she can be more than what Ozai or the previous Fire Lords had wanted her to be. This is the critical point. It's accepting that she can be good and do the right thing no matter where she came from. Thus, coming to terms with her past, and choosing to move on and forge a new future for herself. At least how I'd interpret this.

So...yeah. This is how I'd view Azula's chakras, what's blocking them, and what can be done to clear them. It'll take time, but I do believe she's capable of it. I mean, she has addressed some of the issues herself. Now it's a matter of capitalizing on what she's learned and putting them into practice.

Thanks for the ask, anon! This was actually a bit of fun. Maybe this can be a sort of roadmap for anyone interested in writing an Azula redemption fic or something.

[unethicallypleistocene]

Here's another fun one: if your OCs were canon characters, how would they end up mischaracterized or written incorrectly by the general members of their fandom? (we're talking anything from character design, personality traits, dialogue style, plot choices, you name it. Gimme the full Murphy's Law rundown of how the fandom would butcher your OCs lmao XD)

Oh hell yeah let's go

I think Blake would get very woobified (and let's be honest I'm part of the problem) but I think he'd also get infantilized. He struggles with fatigue, so I think he'd get painted as helpless, especially since he has a sensitive personality compared to his friends. Since he's a teenager I think he'd also get given a very modern and casual way of speech, and while that's how he talks to his friends, I think Charles has rubbed off on him too much. I picture him having a very anachronistic dialogue pattern most of the time, since the vast majority of his life that he remembers was at the mansion getting subjected to Victorian literature. I also have a feeling that he'd get shipped quite a bit, but people would conveniently forget that he's ace.

I think Tern would receive the "basically a girl" treatment since they're nonbinary. They're also a full-on adult with a long-running job and taxes and rent, and I think people would forget that. They're a competent professional, which is part of why I decided to toss them into the deep end with a fandom with an inherently whimsical premise. They would also get whitewashed immediately despite being in very touch with their Korean identity.

JAMES WOULD GET SKINNY-TWINKIFIED SO FAST. That or people would just talk about him in the context of his huggability, which would not be inaccurate but I've seen it be a very dehumanizing trend in fandom whenever they get their hands on any remotely fat characters. Alden would probably also get twinkified, despite being a salty sea dog with a voice more akin to someone who smokes 3 packs a day.

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

sniffs. can we get some will graham character analysis up in here

Gah I love talking about Will but I have the fear that I'm gonna end up presenting you with an entirely inaccurate analysis, and I just don't realise that all my thoughts about him are wrong. I also will admit its been a while since I've rewatched an episode.

Anyway: it seems like the reason Will even connects to Hannibal as quick and as hard as he does is because Hannibal is the first (and honestly only) person that has ever truly seen and understood Will for exactly who he is, and hasn't turned away from it. I haven't read the books so idk if there's anything more said about Will's childhood in those, but I doubt Mr "family feels like an ill-fitting suit and I never connected to the concept" has any positive experiences with family, whether family he was born into or chosen. Even the others around Will seem to find him useful or interesting rather than connecting with him as who he is. So with Hannibal coming along and continuing to connect with Will even after learning those things about him that Will thinks are bad (like when he admits he liked killing Hobbs), it's no wonder Will attached himself to Hannibal in the way he did in the show. Especially when Hannibal treats him with more respect and, to an extent, more care (of course, "care" is used quite loosely here considering Hannibal prevents Will's encephalitis diagnosis from being uncovered, and also frames him for murder. What I instead mean by "care" in this context is that like Jack wants to keep pushing Will to do his job because he's saving lives. Jack doesn't really seem to care that much that it's actively worsening Will's mental state. Jack would still put Will on more and more crime scenes. Hannibal also shows a bit more respect for Will, for example, in the scene after Will tells Freddie Lounds "it's not smart to piss off a guy who thinks about killing people for a living" Jack seems to almost place the blame on Hannibal and wonders why Hannibal let Will say something like that. Even though those are Will's words, not Hannibal's. Jack sorta just talks about Will as if he's not in the room. Hannibal does not. Alana does show more concern for Will, but its pretty clear that those two also are more like "professional" friends than having any proper connection.)

Anyway yeah, at least s1 Will Graham seems to connect with Hannibal quickly because Hannibal seems like the first person to at least try to connect with Will properly.

I've seen a few people make posts using dog motifs for Will and how Will is like a dog that bites. One that's aggressive and barks when he can. And yeah, I agree. But Will also is like a dog who is loyal I think. That's why he does go out of his way to travel to Europe to find Hannibal, and then to find a way to get him out of prison and kill with him.

Before I briefly mentioned that whole "parts of himself that Will thinks are bad" thing. Will himself admits that his "thoughts are often not tasty" and, with his empathy and the amount of serial killers heads he's been in, it really is no wonder his thoughts are like that. But I think Will wants to be better than that. He doesn't like the thoughts in his brain and he thinks all those things about him are bad. What probably doesn't help is how most of his coworkers talk about him, even to his own face. Beverly is the only one who even treats Will like an actual person (r.i.p Beverly, I love her so much btw). Also like in most scenes Will stands away from everyone else, not next to them. And it's because of what Will is like. Hell, there's times where Will says something strange and his coworkers briefly look at him like that one meme of the girls staring. Also, keeping in mind that Will is canonically autistic, it alienates him even further (and also makes him more relatable imo. Like I, too, stand away from everyone awkwardly and can't connect with people. He's just like me fr). So Will is pretty much completely alone in a way. He adopts stray dogs because he himself is like a stray dog. He lives in the middle of nowhere to be truly alone. But Hannibal sees these "not so tasty" thoughts and other strange behaviours, and still chooses to actively be a part of Will's life (and also falls in love with Will because of this stuff. Like Hannibal definitely manipulates Will into killing, but some of those thoughts and feelings were already there are the start inside Will. In Will's eyes, the best person of himself is a version that doesn't want to kill and isn't affected by thinking the way a serial killer does. But in Hannibal’s eyes, the best version of Will is a Will that doesn't deny who he is and the thoughts he has inside his mind, but accepts and indulges in them instead).

Anyway, s2 and s3 Will is when he starts becoming a lot more like Hannibal obviously. In s1, the two are still quite different characters. But, as time goes by, Will starts having similar kind of thoughts and behaviours as Hannibal. He manipulates. He kills. He even enjoys those things. After all, "you and I have begun to blur" (and that holds true for Hannibal too. I think another reason Hannibal falls in love with Will is because, to some extent, Will changes Hannibal just like Hannibal changes Will).

I do think that being away from Hannibal for years kinda slowly got Will to fall into his "old habits" though (as in, there was still a part of Will that just couldn't accept the killing and the "not tasty" thoughts inside him). That's why he married Molly. Molly is basically the opposite of Hannibal. Molly put her life at risk to save her son. Hannibal killed Abigail. With Molly, Will can have the family he's always wanted. But its not the life Will can have or even needs. Because Will still needs Hannibal. He can't live with or without him, but in a way I almost think without Hannibal is more unbearable for Will than with Hannibal.

In the end, Will has embraced those darker sides a lot more. Him killing with Hannibal is more romantic than most actual romance scenes if you ask me. I think that, if they were to survive the fall, Will would eventually fully accept the darker parts of him and, as a result, would also accept the fact that he's just as in love with Hannibal as Hannibal is with Will. The only reason he's not accepting it is because Hannibal is almost like a personification of all the things Will tries so hard not to be at the start.

[teecupangel]

From @thedragonqueen1998

XD Historians would panic over the video, it contains so many truths and the accent the man in the video used is accurate, but how the fuck does he know it!? Who is Leonardos friend?! Why isn't he mentioned anywhere? The historians and the internet is figurative on fire.

From @blue-cat-ter-flies-blog

@thedragonqueen1998 Desmond becomes The Origin of sooooooo many internet meltdowns, implosions, explosions, boil-overs, wars and just general Internet Apocalypse(TM). Several, in fact.

From @thedragonqueen1998

Pretty much on brand for Desmond. XD

Okay, but just imagine how this would play out. Desmond (technically Ezio) starts talking about locations, events and specific details that cannot be ignored. Sure, many would think it’s just some kind of act to get more clout but then…

One of them starts digging around because they were planning on releasing a debunk video but instead…

They found evidence. Because no matter how hard the Brotherhood and the Templars try to suppress the truth, there will always be something they’d miss.

And humans are tenacious little buggers, especially when it concerns something they are passionate about.

And a historian would rather die than let go of this mysterious thin line of secrecy and truth.

Also, the more the Templars and the Brotherhood tried to bury it, the more evident the parts missing becomes.

This will blow up the moment the historian finds more evidence that proves Desmond’s ‘rants’. And what helps the historian find it?

Desmond’s video itself.

From @atomicsharkchild

I think this would also change the timeline as well which is neat. Abstergo made games about the assassins (and a few templars) and canonically changed events (specifically thinking of liberations here) to make the assassins look bad in what was released. But if this video was released before they started on that project, it would make it very hard for them to manipulate the narrative in that manner towards their favor.

With the way this setting is going… we can’t even sure if they would be able to release any games lol.

At this point, they’d be digging their own grave if they try to change the plot XD

From @zero-saito

He become a meme god from everyone loosing their minds over his video and the demand for more videos but also trying to figure out who the hell he is!! 😂

“No.”

He always hated talking to William Miles. It wasn’t because William Miles was like a typical ‘back in my days!’ kind of old man.

It was because he was so stubborn he actually felt bad for anyone who try to torture the old man to give up information.

His personality would be a torture for any torturers out there.

Was he using the word torture too much?

Yeah, probably.

After the big fuck up from Rebecca Crane (because Desmond Miles’ been a civi for the past nine years and he was definitely not tech savvy so he was absolutely blaming Rebecca Crane and the other two babysitters who should have known better), he had been pushed into acting as team leader to clean this mess up.

Not because of seniority.

Not even because he has a lot of ‘close friends’ with Erudito and the rest of the hacker community.

No.

Because Rebecca Freaking Crane called him first.

He was running out of spite and countless energy drinks.

His brain was going on overdrive and he knew if he didn’t get off the phone in the next 5 minutes, he was going to crash.

Talking with William Miles always tired out his mental state and he still needed to keep directing others to make damage control.

It was not helping that many respectable historians and other experts (linguists? FUCKING LINGUISTS? FUCK YOU BLEEDING EFFECT) were getting in the action.

His smear campaign using bots to make sure the top comments are all “wow, is he practicing Italian?” and “lol, totally inaccurate but funny ig” were starting to be buried thanks to long-ass comments explaining how this might be real.

Curse you organic likes and comments!

“Look, Bill.” He rubbed his face, craving fried chicken all of a sudden.

Dear god, when was the last time he ate something other than chips and chocolates?

He’ll get takeout and charge it on one of Rebecca Crane’s personal accounts.

After this call.

Or, actually, he’ll just order it online using one of his other phones.

Multitasking ftw.

“We can’t just delete the video.” He repeated, trying his best not to grit his teeth, “That would make people more curious about it. What we need to do is control the narrative.”

“You want Desmond to record more of these.” Bill growled.

“But lie this time around!” He argued, “This way, we can make this ‘oh shit is he for real?’ narrative into a ‘oh it was just a gimmick’ narrative!”

“The best way to-” He stopped just as he was about to order an entire bucket while talking to a goddamn stubborn brick wall, “Fuck.”

He clicked his mouse a few times but the notification remained.

The video had been deleted.

“Bill, did you order Crane to delete the video?!”

“No. Did someone delete it?” Bill’s tone held a dangerous edge to it.

“Yes, some idiot-”

A message popped out from the phone he used to contact a few hackers.

[omg did u c erudito’s post? abstergos fucked up lollol]

“Nonononono” He quickly went to one of Erudito’s public pages and cursed, “Oh, you fucking idiots!”

He covered his face as the front page of Erudito’s website showed evidence that the deletion of Desmond’s video (and entire account apparently) came from an IP from Abstergo’s Rome facility.

Not only that, Erudito went as far as post the moment it was deleted because they fucking hacked the security cam.

“Bill…”

“Yes?”

“I quit.”

“No.”

He groaned and hit his head on the table.

Desmond being bored and deciding to make a retelling of his ancestors for shaun or historians of the assassin's. Except he 'accidentally' makes it public and it goes viral, given that sometimes its Desmond and other times its his ancestors from the bleeding effect

The Assassins desperately needed a win.

After the Great Purge, the Assassins were left imprison in a sinking ship.

William Miles and Gavin Banks tried their best to protect and hide what was left but it was a losing battle.

It made people desperate.

Desperate enough to place their fate in Desmond Miles.

Desmond Miles, the runaway son of William Miles.

Desmond Miles, the descendant to Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad and Ezio Auditore.

The golden boy of the Assassins.

He didn’t really care much about him.

Rebecca Crane was his tech support so he never even met the great Desmond Miles.

He was stuck here, in the basement of a loud club in Berlin, doing his job as one of the contact persons of Erudito.

Most of the time, he just helped Erudito fuck Abstergo’s shit up.

Or try to anyway.

Abstergo does have one of the most impressive security system money can buy.

They were slowly chipping on it though.

Most of Erudito were still trying to throw rocks at the digital bullet proof system Abstergo has while he and the best of Erudito hack into another company who uses the same system to find its weaknesses that they can use against Abstergo.

They were so close to a break through.

And he may have drunk 6 or 7 energy drinks for the last 62 hours so he actually thought he was hallucinating for a moment when he clicked the link one of the Erudito hackers he was working with had spent with the message “dude, isn’t he one of yours? O.o”.

It was a youtube video.

Of Desmond Miles…

In that motherfucking (should certainly be) secret hideout in Italy.

With that motherfucking statue of Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad behind him, completely clear on view.

“So you wanted to know what Ezio was doing while he was looking for Cesare Borgia, right, Shaun? You went out and I know I’ll be back in the Animus by the time you get here so I’m recording this so you can watch it while I’m stuck in the Animus.”

“So… Cesare left Roma after he failed to kill Ezio and got sent to Castel Sant’Angelo.”

He blinked.

Was…

Was Desmond Miles giving a history lesson???

Oh, fuck, he was.

And he just namedropped Machiavelli and Leonardo as Ezio’s companions who were also looking for where Cesare was transferred after he escaped and got captured again in Firenze.

And…

He had started to speak in Italian.

Not only that…

His entire demeanor, even the way he sat had changed.

He had only heard about it.

The Bleeding Effect.

Desmond Miles was bleeding as Ezio Auditore in a fucking video in the internet.

His second phone began to rang and he prayed to every holy and demonic being that it wasn’t William Miles.

No matter what William Miles say, he cannot just scrub that video from the internet.

It was obvious (6 millions views! What the fuck!!!) that someone out there had already downloaded this video and taking it down would just spark more controversy.

He looked at the number and knew exactly who was calling him.

He accepted the call and said immediately, “What the fuck, Crane. Why did Miles upload a video to fucking Youtube?!”

Rebecca groaned and he could hear Lucy Stillman and Shaun Hastings shouting in the background, most probably ripping Desmond Miles a new one.

“The phone he used to record it automatically uploads to Youtube.”

He blinked.

“That is bullshit.”

“It’s true! It’s one of Lucy’s burner phones and she didn’t even change the settings at all! It defaulted to that kind of setting!”

“No phone has an automatic upload to Youtube and you know it.”

“I know but this one does! It’s so weird! It’s like… something weird is going on here!”

“I’d believe it more if you said Miles wanted to publish it as unlisted but fucked up.”

Rebecca groaned once more.

A phone that automatically uploads to Youtube.

That was such bullshit.

.

.

(Rebecca is telling the truth. The phone is a weird one and Lucy can’t even remember where she got it. Almost like… it was always there. Dun dun dun)

[transfemzedaph]

hell yeah bunnies are amazing!! And hey, doesn’t have to be like canon to the game, you could be a sea bunny or something yk :] live your best life king

fungus is great <3 Thats a really cool idea, especially since fungus have like a hive mind with the mycelium and all, its not inaccurate to say the forests are entirely connected and can take in other mushrooms :] i love The idea as well that skulk is like a fungus,,,, like it grows everywhere when something dies on it and fungus are like a major decomposer so they really do just eat dead things all the time to bring nutrients (or in this case xp) back to the soil

Gonna stop rambling abt fungus now :]

also I’ve never actually listened to the Magnus archives, but it’s on my list!

🪱

yeah! its just ideas r hard sometimes jdhdjdhdj and yeah!!! skulk as a fungus works like super well and then there could probably be something fun and interesting to say abt the warden and the skulk etf etc but idk

[catgirl-catboy]

Wait, mastermind Kinji actually sounded weirdly great but oh boy.. Kirigiri Tsurugi..? No he is the chaotic entity who lurking behind you

Don't worry i like tsurugi x yuki too just I only see them in tsurugi shipping area and it bugs me because he have too much potential with literally everyone except Inori. Like he makes everyone pissed at him for just talking or talking nonsense /affectionate

Wait which ship he have is more one-sided coded you are the Tsurugi cult member, you probably have more inner analyse about him more than I have

Emma x Kokoro is my favourite sdra2 ship, and the chapter 2 is joyful to watch hah, I love Emma's execution so much! What do you think about Emma and her execution though?

Yeah, Satsuki and Haruhiko definitely can't be interpreted as platonic in any sense like ishimondo or in my opinion Tsurugi x Kinji like either they date or despise eachother there is no way in hell I can see them talking like normal human beings..

Ishimondo and Satsuhiko are both in canon and both in theme very interesting pairings too, Satsuhiko relationship analysis when?

When, probably when I play chapter 4!

One thing I did notice on my first ever rewatch, is that when Momokuma first appeared, Teruya called for police. Would Kinjo have attacked monokuma and try to protect the group out of guilt anyway, hell yeah, he's batshit. But it couldn't have helped.

Alternate Mastermind aus are fun, but I am so freaking tired of Mastermind Ishimaru. Its too overdone. Its so obvious. But traitor!Ishimaru has potential. >:)

(tangent I really wish Mukuro got to be the ai in the 2nd killing game instead of Junko. It'd tie it into Dr1 without being repetitive. I also don't think it'd be realistically feasible to capture Junko's pure chaotic energy into an ai, even an impossibly futuristic one.

Also, Ai!Mondo was completely OOC. He'd give Taka the same terrible advice he lived and died by, which may have actually save him from Celeste by having him look less like a target. This isn't a bad thing, I just wish future entries in the series exploited this.

IDK, maybe Junko'd be into being cursed to live as an inaccurate ai version of herself.

If I wanted to hear normal people talk, I'd stop being in fandom and go out in public. Ships communicating like normal people is a turn off.

I feel like Yuki and Yamato are the least likely to be one sided, simply because we get Yuki's POV and what little we hear about Yamato and Tsurugi is positive. I can feel any other Tsurugi ship being one sided on Tsurugi's end. That being said, Tsurugi and Akane got some fucked up shit going on and I live for it.

[hangezoeenthusiast]

God(hcs)

c!multiple x god!reader

notes: the reader will be the god of death to make it a little bit more spicy :). c!punz’s pronouns are he/they, i’m not sure about the others, but i know theirs. also why does ranboo take away my gender? /j

word count: 1,672

warnings: arson, violence, cursing, yelling, mention of death, voices in technos part, spoilers for wilbur if you haven’t watch tommy’s lore stream, revival for wilbur, making a religion, time travel, egg, prison, stealing, anarchy, playful name calling

Sapnap

so obviously y’all would be a great match :)

you have creative mode, so when sap would ask you to give him a lighter and tnt, you would GLADLY give it

also, can we talk about him being a nether hybrid

fire squared

like fires left and right, hide your mom and your children in your house lol /j

but besides the whole arson thing, you favor him above anyone else on the server

like if he asks for diamond blocks, well here’s a whole inventory of it, also, here’s some ancient debris and some netherite

if someone asked, you would probably grant them with poison and curses, just because you can’t be “unloyal” to snapchat 

wouldn’t be lonely anymore

Dreamwastaken

this duo is less chaotic, but chaotic enough where people avoid you

he still asks you for stuff, but most of the time, you don’t give him it because he annoys you too much about giving stuff

“hey y/n/n, can i pretty please get some emerald blocks.”

“nope bitch, get it yourself.”

but sometimes, you grant him some op shit, when it’s your good day

“because i’m being nice, here’s some diamond, now, don’t ask me again you little piss baby.”

“shut your trap y/n.”

“or what homeless teletubby, what are you going to do to a god like me?”

“you hang out with technoblade to much.”

Georgenotfound

maybe the least chaotic duo

you guys keep on relaxing and relaxing until the point where you don’t do anything

he barely asks you for anything, but only when it’s really really important, like a house or build

especially when he was building his little cottagecore house, he needed your godly presence to help

“y/n, what should the roof be made of?”

“i suggest brick, it makes it more aestheticy if that makes any sense.”

also barely any drama or tea with you guys

never arguing and never betraying each other is a must

Tubbo

also another least chaotic duo

literally help him with his bee farm, he will (platonically) love you forever

gotta be close to ranboo, that’s the rule

gives him SO much stuff, he’s a precious boi 🙄

also gotta be close to tommy, but not as much unfortunately

you help him pick out things for builds, like what material clashes with another, etc

“do you think that the wool and the netherite blocks look good together y/n?”

“nah, what i suggest is the wool with the gold, it looks perfect.”

sometiems, gotta put him in check because he gets a little ego built up

you definitely yank his horn a little too hard because of your IMMENSE STRENGTH

“OW, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT Y/N.”

“calm down sunny, you were just getting a bit over your head a little.”

Tommyinnit

chaotic duo like sapnap

snaps at anyone who annoys you and vice versa

you give him EVERYTHING, obviously except op and creative

he tries to persuade you to do something, but dreamxd wouldn’t allow it, since he is the main boss

“come on y/n, give me op.”

“no tommy, xd will kick my ass.”

“pweaseee.”

“no.”

you would DEFINITELY help him with the Big Innit Hotel, making the whole layout and color palette.

both of you have an intense hatred for ranboo, since he “stole” tubbo away from tommy

Ranboo

least involved in everything

just stay in the tundra and drink some tea, and you’re good for all of your life

helps him get netherite all the time so your boii can get the good stuff 😬

when he mines to get diamonds, he literally prays to you

“y/n, if you’re listening, please give me a 6 vein, i desperately need it for my collection of diamond blocks.”

and THERE IT IS

more than a 6 vein actually, a 12 vein

guess he needs to pray to you more

daily tea sessions, to talk about the good stuff, and NO, and i repeat NO skipping

threatening to flick water on him check ✅

Wilbur Soot

literally you spoil him

not to be angsty, but when he died and lost his last canon life, you revived him instead of Dream

now he’s practically at your knees

like he’s thinks that he owes you, but actually that’s the opposite

he was revived because you were lonely, and wanted your best friend back :(

prays to you when he goes to bed

“hey y/n, hope you’re having a great day, (platonically) love you.”

“love you too mortal.”

sometimes, to be at the peak of godness, you shower upon wilbur as gold to symbolize blessings, like zeus did before

“omg y/n, what are you doing?”

“i’m trying to bless you, shut up bitch.”

just saying, he would make a religion about you :/

Karl Jacobs

omg don’t get me started on this

first, you wouldn’t codone him going back in time

he would definitely forget your name a lot, so that’s why you hated it

“hey karl, how are you doing?”

“i’m sorry, but do i know you?”

ANGST IS TOO MUCH FOR ME

you were definitely the one to push him towards sapnap and quackity

this is also another spoiled boi

give him the entire world while you’re at it pwease

he wants a few diamonds, nope, give him a chest full of them

Quackity

why are there so much chaotic duos in here?

literally chaos times infinity

energy to the max

literally, did you take an energy drink

grants him every wish he can randomly think off

“can i get a bucket with lava and a fish in it?”

“weird choice, but ok man.”

gotta be close to sap and karl or he isn’t your friend anymore /j

helps with las nevadas a lot, and definitely tries to rig the machines so you get money

“hey big q, i got 10,000 dollars.”

“that’s impossible... y/n, did you cheat?”

“nooo 😊”

help him preen his wings, and he goes “I LOVE YOU, MWAH MWAH.” obviously in his mind 🙄

Awesamdude

definitely helps him maintain the prison

you both love setting up red stone contraptions and pistons and all that giz

“hey sam, do you know where the redstone torches are?”

“yeah, there behind the pistons in the back.”

also you helped build the prison, since he could do that by himself

“are you sure that lava wall will work y/n, your calculations seem inaccurate.”

“i’m sure sam, this will add some more security to this goddamn server.”

nerd squared lol

BadBoyHalo

wouldn’t condone the egg

you warned him multiple times to get away from its grasp, but most of the times he’ll decline

“i won’t y/n, the egg is the future.”

he still, even after all the advancements, even after everything, he tries to ask you to join the eggpire

“come on y/n, you’ll like being with us.”

“i don’t wanna be on a stupid egg side, like let me crack the egg, i wanna eat it and turn it into a omelette.”

he doesn’t like that joke :(

but before he discovered the egg, both of you were joint at the hip

sight seeing was a must

languages being thrown around everywhere, since you were the little language muffin

Punz

steals stuff from everyone

hide your stuff, because the punzo-y/n team is unstoppable

definitely they can be really stubborn and indecisive

like one day, he will be like, “i need gold blocks.” and the next, “nevermind, i need netherite actually.”

like hon, stop switching

also anarchy buddies

burning down forests and buildings are your guys’s specialty

when you give him gold when they doesn’t ask, his heart goes brrr and his brain goes, “pog pog, they’re so cool, lets hug them.”

Technoblade

now this is the most deadly duo in the entire Dream Smp

better not piss you guys off 😐

he’s the Blood God, and you’re the God/Goddess/God being of Death

so if some occasion where you need to battle someone, like Techno’s enemies, *clears throat and murmurs Quackity*, you will obviously back your boy up :)

help him with enchanting and potions and he’s set for life

also you got have to be close to the great Philza Minecraft since him and Techno are buddy buddy

anarchy squared

helps with the voices since you have some of your own

“so what you’re saying is that i need to pay attention to them?”

“yeah, when i first learned that the voices were in my head, i tried to ignore them, but that sucked. so what i did was try to distract myself with various tasks, and that sucked.”

“so what do i do, you’re saying that i should listen to them, but how do i do that when they literally shout at me.”

“just embrace it, obviously when they do their little chant of blood for the blood god, you have to ignore them.”

“you suck at advice.”

Philza Minecraft

so since both of you resemble death, him being the Angel of Death and you being the God/Goddess/God being of Death, y’all are fucking best friends, platonic soulmates if you will

death squared

watch out, because if you piss them off, prepare to d-

gotta be close to Ranboo and Techno, and obviously others who he platonically likes

he doesn’t need to ask you for stuff, he’s the fricking Angel of Death, but he will ask you to preen his wings :D

“ow, not there y/n.”

“oh shut up grandpa, let me do it.”

“I’M NOT OLD DUMBASS.”

Dream XD

two gods at once, damn there is so much chaos

left and right, you guys are noticed by everyone, like purrrr

y’all would be in some fancy shit, to show your power

you would get jealous of him hanging out with george

“why are you jealous y/n?”

“you’re hanging out with george to much, hang out with me please :(.”

gifts are a must, even though both of you have access to creative

[i-have-no-soul]

shitty summary (as i understand it) of the different shit of Homestuck and related/other series, to make it a bit easier (might be a bit inaccurate but if it helps even a little)

- Homestuck: the original 8000+ page comic. has its own credits sequence so you know when it's over. this is probably the only thing you should try tackling for a first time, as I can almost guarantee you'll want to reread at least part of it before looking into other stuff.

- Homestuck Epilogues: A written set of sequels that are pretty much directly placed after Homestuck's credits, with two diverging paths: Meat and Candy. I haven't met many people who are happy with these.

- Homestuck^2: A comic not made by Andrew Hussie (but given the greenlight to count as the "new" canon) meant to take place after the Epilogues. I also haven't met many people who are happy with this.

- Paradox Space: A set of small comics (within the realm of less than 50 pages, usually) that... are a mix of canon and noncanon, if I remember right? There's not many of them, and it probably won't take long to get through them all with the exception of one. They're scattered around the Homestuck timeline, so some may not make sense until later in the comic.

- Pesterquest: A noncanon visual novel directly set on Homestuck, which is chronologically after(?) Hiveswap Friendsim. It's available on steam and google play, but I'm sure someone did a video if you don't want to pay a dollar for each and every chapter.

- Hiveswap: A point and click game that's based off of the Homestuck Universe, but none of the characters shown are recognizable, and it's possible it's set in a whole different universe. Two chapters are out currently on steam, unknown when the rest are releasing.

- Hiveswap Friendsim: A visual novel on Steam and Google Play that takes place in a different universe from Hiveswap(?), and the goal is befriending every main troll shown in Hiveswap. Again, every extra chapter is a dollar.

- The Unofficial Homestuck Collection: a fanmade proect dedicated to archiving Homestuck and most if not all Hussie related things. Has the full Homestuck comic, as well as a couple others, and has some of its own mods for convenience and other fun bullshit, like a translator for some characters' dialogue. It links to most major things, including the music made for Homestuck, and has an unlock system that gives you more the further you get in the comic. (I think you can skip it if you want, but having it on ensures you don't see stuff you definitely haven't seen yet)

It also keeps direct track of what page you're on, and lets you bookmark pages directly. Most stuff can be read directly within the program, and what can't is marked and can be opened in your web browser. the Asset Pack is a couple gigabytes, but it means that it should load pretty much everything almost instantly.

and now, 2 things out of the homestuck universe

- Problem Sleuth: A previous comic made by Hussie that gets occasionally, lightly, referenced here and there in Homestuck and other media. If Homestuck feels like a fever dream, this reads like taking 50 benadryl at once. It's pretty long, but not as long as Homestuck.

- Psycholonials: A visual novel on Steam and free on Google Play that was made by Hussie during the pandemic and features lots and lots of clowns. It has heavier themes and can get dark, but it is finished and isn't super long (9 chapters total).

anyways yeah everything is complicated as hell. tale your time reading, take breaks when you need to, and if you need to, look stuff up or try asking the group of wild fans in your askbox lol

good luck and have fun!

Jesus fucking christ

[tomatograter]

Do you think Dirk saying that he doesn't like to label himself as gay means he has internalized homophobia? Or does he really just don't like to put labels on himself? I've seen ppl saying it's homophobia but there's ppl in real life that don't feel comfortable with labels so I'm a bit confused honestly, cus we are talking about Dirk and he's... Dirk after all

Easy answer: Dirk is Gay.

Prolonged answer: I think it's kinda weird how some fandom discussion around "Dirk dodging the label in One pesterlog" has largely spiraled way outside of its original context to be talked about in a vacuum, especially when that context is crucial to understanding what is actually being said, AKA — it belongs to a deeply awkward conversation between Dirk and Roxy. One of Many they are implied to have had about the subject of Roxy's sustained, unwelcome, and oft drunken advances towards Dirk (& his splinters).

I'm going to reproduce it plus another bit of text down below, for the sake of comparison.

(To prevent the trickster text from looking like absolute shit, I have altered the background. Read the original here, if you're nasty: https://www.homestuck.com/story/5754 )

Now that we've been reacquainted with how and where that sentiment is expressed, let's try to break down what Dirk is doing here.

He is not receptive to Roxy's early advances, and spends most of the 'intro' for this conversation (not pictured) ignoring when Roxy flirts with him, until she gets upset at how 'boring' he is being right now.

Dirk is the one compelled to apologize.

He proceeds to shut the scenario down as an unwanted probability, eliciting further guilt-babbling from Roxy over how Dirk never wants to play along with the perfect traditional family fantasy, until she finally blows up and says it's because he's gay.

"I mean, yeah, that's what I thought."

Dirk, rather than saying I Am Not Gay, since he looooooves changing a conversational subject, claims that "Gay" is not entirely historically appropriate for this situation, given the non-negligible passage of time and the wildly dystopic circumstances* they find themselves in.

Dirk reassures Roxy he does still care about her.

Dirk is absolutely terrified of a similarly inclined (and intoxicated) Roxy up close. This is the most exclamations he's ever used.

Now, *These circumstances? The loss of 99% of the human race, including their society, customs, culture, and prejudices. (ALLEGEDLY.) It's important to remember that from Dirk and Roxy's side of the timetable, troll culture has been pushed as "the norm" for actual fucking centuries. HIC tried to recreate the caste system by artificially coloring human blood, leading to the death of billions. Faygo came out of the water tap, not water. Troll slang was incorporated into the English language. Humans ceased to organically reproduce. They were actively Discouraged from reproducing, since that's not something HIC could have total genetic control over; rendering traditional marriage and the concept of the nuclear family pointless.

You could also argue that same-gender relationships are not uncommon in Alternia, making "gay" altogether unnecessary by proxy, and that's true! But my point is this one: any union (or at least our society's holy concept of it) between straightie humans would be by definition undesirable under HIC's rule, too. She is the church, the president and the governing body. The population is only as good as they are assets for her to do whatever she wants with, including mass murder.

But wait! While that tracks… Roxy clearly still holds onto very 'conservative' definitions of romance for most of Homestuck. We see this multiple times. Dirk, as proved in conversations with Jake, uses 'gay' as an ironic pejorative. Suddenly it's not Historically Inaccurate anymore, Jake's interests are just gay.

Does this mean the context above is basically worthless, since they don't seem to have internalized it? No.

What must be kept in mind is this: Dirk and Roxy's only "active" link to de facto humanity is our society as it was in the early 2010's. Those glimpses they get by talking with jane and jake. They have all that dystopic context, yes, but the reality that seems the most "unfucked" to them for a grand majority of their lives are the halcyon years before the Condesce's rise to power: back when weed was illegal, BlogSpot was popular, movies sucked, MTV was still a hip channel, and gay generally meant something real bad. The wave of homophobia as a punchline or fear mongering tactic was at THE HEIGHTS. Marriage equality was a hot debate topic. Those were the dayz.

Dirk is keenly aware of the taboo implication the word "Gay" as a self-denomination carries. He's no dummy. But he's rarely direct with his intentions either. He's slippery as a bar of soap. (He's never "straight about his feelings", if you prefer.) And for a guy that cares so much about his reputation and maintaining a curated sense of utter coolness, he wants to avoid outing himself as any sort of weirdo no matter the cost.

But that's not all. I think the gravity of just how much Dirk believes he *owes* Roxy simply for existing as the last human in the same timeframe as her is a severely underplayed aspect of Dirk's core character, together with how much he tries to avoid her sexual advances only to end up feeling like absolute shit over it, because — if they truly are the last people on god's blighted earth, isn't he being "selfish" and "irrational" about not feeling shit for Roxy, in the grand scale of things? Is Roxy not his only friend in tangible reality, even if he avoids the mere suggestion of visiting her? Even if she gets black-out drunk and tries to push him into indulging her, regardless of how many times he's already said no?

(Spend enough time here and you realize how it directly mirrors the jane/jake experience.)

Dirk cares a lot about each and every one of his friends.

He pointedly adapts his speech based on whichever one of them he's talking to in an effort to express that investment. May it be reassuring Jane, fooling around with Jake, or trying to prevent Roxy from falling into a total catatonic doom-spiral; he avoids telling them anything that would be too crushing to hear. That's not what he's trying to do here. Not to say that he isn't bitchy sometimes, but that’s far from the central thing he does. The Epilogues have retroactively led people to believe that Dirk abhors and despises every single person he's ever been close to before (god forbid) LIKING them, and I think buying too much into that assumption ignores the foundations of his canon text, as well as the central motivation behind 99% of his actions in the story. This is the guy that grew up on Friendship Is Magic, has a picture of rainbow dash shamefully glued to one wall and a rainbow poster of Jake's symbol stapled to another, and everything he does is a little cringe attempt to demonstrate his worth by showing how much he cares about people, even when he's punching his actual feelings down instead of up and saying them.

Which brings us back to the load-bearing part of this question: Admitting to Roxy that there is absolutely no fucking way he will ever agree to having her babbys because he is gay is precisely the opposite of what Dirk wants to say, if his intention isn't pulverizing her. So he doesn't. And his worry on this regard is such that it prevents Dirk from even telling Roxy that he does love her, in the platonic sense, as a friend and hell-earth survivor, because he knows that specificity is what that would disappoint her greatly. (He only ever confesses this to Jane, on the death slabs.)

But also I think this is a really funny visual of Dirk's relationship with the word gay, to put statements into perspective:

[bohemian-rhapsody-in-blue]

Beboptober Day 11: Procrastination

Thanks to @thestarlightsymphony for the prompt list! I’ll be honest, I’m not sure this idea makes sense to anyone else but me, but it was fun to write :)

Hey, Maya, says the tiny Jet Black who lives in my head. Shouldn’t you be writing your Beboptober fic for today?

I’ll do it later, I think back. I have work to do. History readings, and studying for my Astronomy midterm, and…

Okay, okay. Jet holds up his (imaginary) hands, smiles and nods approvingly as he exits. Probably a good idea, too, to get your homework done first.

(He doesn’t know I’m going to procrastinate on that too.)

~~~~~

Hey, says the tiny Faye Valentine who lives in my head. Don’t you have Beboptober to do tonight?

Yeah, I say. I stuff another cookie in my mouth, from earlier when I decided I couldn’t possibly write without the proper snacks. But I’ll do it later.

How much later d’you have? asks Faye, giving an idle glance at the clock between drags of her cigarette.

I can submit it a little after midnight and it will still be fine, I say. It’ll still be the same day in the time zones behind mine.

Stands to reason, says Faye, shrugging; I can’t tell if she’s convinced or not. I can’t tell if I’m convinced by myself or not, to be honest.

Then, over my protests, she reaches for one of my cookies. Hey, can I have one of those?

(As if she could have them anyway.)

~~~~~

Beboptober! Beboptober! chants the tiny Ed who lives in my head, whirling and spinning around in my mind’s eye. She likes Beboptober the best of all the characters in my head—she enjoys doing silly little things for me to write down, and she’s generally not the one being put through trauma or getting her neuroses dissected for all of Tumblr to see. The tiny Ein who lives in my head stands next to her and barks.

Yep, I tell her. Beboptober is, in fact, a thing I have to do. And that I will do. I glance at the clock in the upper-right of my computer screen and shake my head. Eventually.

The deadline looms ever-closer! says Ed, wiggling her fingers and injecting her voice with her spookiest vibrato. You must write noooooow!

I’ve got time, I say.

Whatcha doin’ instead? she says, standing on tiptoe and leaning over my shoulder to see my laptop screen.

It’s, er… How on earth am I supposed to explain this? It’s an article, I say. Okay, fine, not an article. A Reddit post. About the hobby drama behind Disney parks and their fans.

Ein gives me a reproachful look at the fact that this is what I’ve been doing instead of Beboptober. That I opened up that tab and have just gotten lost in it—for the past three hours.

And that’s not all. Also on my laptop are the New York Times crossword, a questionably-legal copy of a Sophie Kinsella novel, and a game that’s like 2048 except it’s called “Large Hadron Collider” and the blocks are labelled with the names of subatomic particles.

In my defense, I say, playing that last one kinda helps me think…

But Ed, all thoughts of deadlines and spookiness forgotten, is fascinated by the 2048 knockoff. She avidly watches me as I move the little blocks, every so often suggesting new movements and giggling, and that’s what we do for the next half an hour.

(With no progress made on Beboptober.)

~~~~~

Hey, says the tiny Spike Spiegel who lives in my head. It’s, like, 11 PM. You doing Beboptober anytime soon?

Later, I think back, gritting my teeth, not lifting my eyes from the computer screen—which is not open to my Beboptober doc.

He raises an eyebrow. Y’know, it gets kinda boring just sitting here, in your head, waiting for you to make us do stuff and write about it…

But what if the stuff is wrong? I say, fear creeping into my voice. Fear I haven’t really acknowledged until now—but really should more often, as it seems to be at the root of a lot of my procrastination. Like, out-of-character, or inaccurate to canon, or…

So, it’s wrong, he says. It’s one fanfic-event-thing, or whatever the hell it is. It’s not gonna be the end of the world.

I frown resolutely. I should probably look on the Bebop wiki just to be safe. And rewatch the episodes I’m thinking of for this idea, and look at the #Beboptober 2022 tag to see what other people have written, and…

Suit yourself. Spike shrugs his shoulders and leans back on the couch. (Don’t even ask me where he found a couch inside my mind.) But when you’re still up frantically typing at 3 AM, don’t blame me.

(Like he’s the pinnacle of healthy habits.)

~~~~~

AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! I say in my own head. It’s 2 in the morning and I don’t have anything written for Beboptober. What the hell am I supposed to do with this prompt?! I don’t even have an IDEA!

I knew this would happen, says Jet knowledgeably.

Happens every time, says Spike, taking a long drag from his cigarette. (I’ve told him before that smoking inside my head clogs up my brainspace and doesn’t let me think, but he never listens to me.)

Come on, guys, I say, glaring at them. Stop being smartasses and do something! Do something funny and thoughtful and deep so I can write it down!

Maybe we would have if you’d asked us earlier, snarks Faye.

I put my head in my hands. You’re seriously going to give me a creative block now?

Block, block, hard as a rock! chants Ed, as cheerfully as ever.

This is your fault, you know, says Jet. You could have avoided this if you had just gotten down to business earlier. You’ve brought this panic on yourself.

And posting your fic at like 3 AM when no one’s gonna see or reblog it, adds Spike. You brought that on yourself too.

And they’re right. I have. And it is my fault.

(Not that this will stop me from doing it all again the next day.)

[honey-dewey]

Family Reunion

Pairing: Javier Peña /Reader

Word Count: 2,702

Warnings: mentions of canon-typical violence, probably inaccurate Spanish, but otherwise none! This is all fluff!

Permanent Taglist: @phoenixhalliwell @star-wars-hell

Returning home is hard, but with you by Javier’s side, he can face anything. Including a Peña family reunion.

“I’m really not sure about this.”

You laughed, putting a hand on top of his and watching the Texas countryside pass you by. “Javi, it’s two days. What could possibly go wrong?”

Javier sighed. “Ay dios míos, you’re gonna regret saying that.”

The Peña family ranch was all set up for the reunion, and for the first time in a long time, Javier was actually able to go. He pulled up the driveway, face already scrunching as three women rushed out and stood eagerly on the edge of the driveway. “Here we go.”

Immediately, as soon as Javier’s feet hit the pavement, the three women were upon him, hugging and squealing that they’d missed him. You grinned, stepping out of the car and simply watching as Javier tried to brush off his sister’s affection.

Finally, once they were all done greeting Javier, he pulled you close to his side. “These are my older sisters, Maria, Cynthia, and Patricia.”

You smiled. “Pleasure to meet you all. I’ve heard so much about you.”

Cynthia bounded back into the house, apparently eager to tell everyone Javier was home. Maria, who you were pretty sure was the oldest, helped you and Javier grab your bags and take them inside. While Javier got lost in the sea of family members who hadn’t seen him in a decade, you found near silence in Javier’s old bedroom, which was where you two would be sleeping.

“Y’know, Mamá couldn’t believe it when he called home to say he got married,” Maria said, setting Javier’s bag on his bed. “Our little Javi, all grown up and married.”

You put your bag down next to Javier’s. “Is he the youngest?”

“Nah,” Maria said, pointing to a framed photo on Javier’s nightstand. “Melissa and Lori are both younger than him.”

Examining the photo, you suppressed a grin. “He’s the only boy?”

Maria’s Cheshire grin grew. “Yeah.”

An unfamiliar woman poked her head into the room. “Is this Javi’s spouse?”

You nodded.

“Ah!” The woman pulled you into a tight hug. “Hi! I’m Melissa!”

“Lissa!” Javier said, and Melissa put you down with a pout. “Bájalos, ahora.”

Another call of Melissa’s name, and she was racing out of the room with a cheerful laugh, Maria hot on her heels.  

Javier fell onto the bed, and you pulled the door shut, falling next to him. “Home sweet home,” he groaned, putting his hands over his eyes.

You rolled over and ended up laying on Javier’s chest, resting your ear on his collarbones. “I like it,” you said softly.

After a few minutes of simply enjoying each other’s company, a loud shout echoed through the house, disrupting your peace. “Lori’s home!”

The house began to bustle, but you stayed on top of Javier, keeping him trapped. He didn’t seem to mind, and actually wound an arm around your back to keep you secure. Voices filtered around you, but they were fuzzy, like they were underwater or behind a closed door.

Finally, someone opened the door to Javier’s bedroom. “Hijo?”

“Si mamá?”

Javier’s mother looked at you on top of him and smiled. “Lori is home. Do you want to say hello?”

Javier sighed, and you laughed as you were lifted up as he breathed in. “Yeah, I’ll come say hi.”

He stood, and you stood with him. “Come on. You’ll like Lori.”

Lori, if you remembered correctly, was the youngest and the most mature. She looked damn near identical to Javier, despite her feminine features and the fact that she was clearly younger.

“Ah, you must be Javi’s spouse!” She said, shaking your hand. “Damn, Javi really knows how to pick them!”

You laughed. “Thank you, but I think I picked him.”

Lori smiled. “Of course. C’mon! Can you bake?”

Turned out, Lori needed help with the pies, and you and her spent almost half an hour making various pie crusts and fillings. Javier tried to help for a few minutes, but he got dragged off to help somewhere else. You waved as he went, following one of the younger cousins.

“So, how was Columbia?” Lori asked, mixing another apple pie mix in a glass bowl.

You took a breath, continuing to knead lest your emotions get the better of you. “Hard,” you finally admitted. “Very hard. I wasn’t even in the thick of the fighting most times, but it was harder than anything I’ve ever done. We had to move four times, and we caught bombs in Javi’s car on two separate occasions. It was a good day if no one shot at him, and then there was all that shit with Los Pepes.”

“Oh I heard about that,” Lori said sadly, grabbing another pie pan. “That must’ve been hell for him, not being there when they finally put a bullet in Escobar.”

“Steve called us immediately,” you said. “The body was still warm, I don’t think the news knew yet. But we did. Javier cried.”

Lori shrugged. “What’s he gonna do now?”

You looked around, making sure the kitchen was empty. “Going back.”

“What?”

You nodded. “They’re sending us back, something about the Cali cartel? I dunno, but apparently it’s big and it’s a problem. They want Javi because, well, he’s had connections with those people.”

“Oh,” Lori breathed, passing the pie to you so you could lattice it. “That’s awful.”

“That’s government work,” you said with a sigh.

Before Lori could speak again, Javier came back with two men, one of whom put an arm around Lori’s waist.

“David, this is Javier’s spouse,” Lori said, smiling as the man kissed her cheek. “The one who was working with the DEA.”

David nodded to you. “Pleasure. I’d shake your hand, but,”

You grinned, holding up your pie crust covered hands. “I’ll spare you the feeling.”

“And this is my cousin Chris,” Javier said, leaning on the counter and watching you expertly lattice the pie in front of you. “How many of those are you making?”

“Three apple, two cherry, one pecan for Cynthia, one blueberry, and a peach pie for Javi.”

Javier lit up. “I thought you weren’t making a peach pie!”

Lori laughed. “Beth brought Georgia peaches, so I had to.”

Chris opened the oven, examining the pies. “Damn, these look divine.”

“Off,” Lori said, giving Chris’s hands a light smack with a wooden spoon. “These are for dessert!”

Once you were finally done and the pies only had to be baked, you were able to wash your hands and sit on the couch. Javier sat next to you, along with a few aunts and uncles you didn’t know. Javier’s father sat in a recliner, his mother sat on a loveseat, and beside her sat a wonderful old woman who you quickly learned was Javier’s grandmother. You closed your eyes, leaning against Javier’s shoulder and dozing a bit. You didn’t fall asleep, but damn you wanted to. Conversation filtered around you, but you didn’t pay much attention.

People came and went, and eventually, everyone was moving outside. Javier nudged you to awareness and you blinked blearily in the Texas sunlight as you followed him outside.

“Veteran DEA agent, bothered by a bit of sunshine,” Javier teased, handing you his aviators. “Ain’t you a sight.”

You huffed at him. “Don’t make me regret saying yes to marrying you,” you said, waving to Patricia and Melissa.

Lunch was a happy affair. You sat beside your husband, chatting eagerly with some of his cousins. His sisters sat with you, happily telling you stories about Javier that made him turn red and you bend over with laughter. Finally, once they’d had their fun embarrassing him, Cynthia, Maria, and Lori all left to go oversee some game the young cousins were playing. Melissa leaned over the table and grinned, Patricia already rolling her eyes.

“Javi,” she said sweetly, fluttering her eyes. “Have you taken Bella out yet?”

“Bella?” You asked, seeing Javier copy Patricia’s eye roll. “Who’s Bella?”

Melissa pointed to the stables that the ranch had. “Javi’s horse. She’s getting old, but she still runs.”

“She’s thirteen,” Javier said. “Not old.”

Patricia smiled. “Javi managed to get her off a man trying to sell her for meat,” she explained to you. “Right up until the day he left for Columbia, she was his pride and joy. Brought her back basically from the dead.”

You tried to imagine Javier caring deeply about a horse, deeply enough to save her. Unsurprisingly, the thought came easy. “Bella, it’s a beautiful name.”

“Short for Belladonna,” Javier said. “C’mon, I’ll introduce you.”

The ground was warm beneath your feet, still bare because you hadn’t had time to put shoes on before lunch. The Peña stables didn’t have many horses, maybe three or four. Right at the end was a stall painted with gorgeously intricate vines and flowers, the belladonna plant. Javier leaned over the door, whistling.

The effect was almost immediate. He was shoved from the door, a black horse pushing him out and butting against his body, searching him.

“Bella!” He said happily, scratching behind Bella’s swiveling ears. “Hello! Did you miss me?”

Bella snorted.

“I know, I missed you too,” Javier said, lost in his own little world. “Hey, guess what! I got married. Mhm, I think they’re perfect too.”

You smiled, leaning against the wall and watching Javier talk to Bella. “She’s gorgeous.”

“Thank you,” Javier said. “C’mon, I’ll take you on a ride.”

He introduced you to another horse, Bella’s neighbor Aristotle. Aristotle was well behaved, and within no time, you were sitting in the saddle and following Javier down a trail. Aristotle was an easy ride, and it helped that you had some prior riding knowledge. Javier, however, was leagues above you, riding as if he’d been doing it his whole life. Which you supposed he had.

“The ranch is huge,” Javier said, leading you through a section of forest. “But even if it wasn’t, we’re all good friends with the neighbors, and they don’t mind when we ride on their land.”

You left the forest and entered a large field that stretched on for miles, a wooden fence bisecting the field. “Is that where the neighbor’s property starts?” You asked, pulling Aristotle to a stop on the edge of the woods.

“That’s still ours,” Javier said. “Technically the neighbor’s land starts at the end of the field on the other side of the fence, but the fence was there when we bought the land and no one wants to take it down.”

You nodded. “How far is it back to the ranch?”

Javier looked at you, confused. “Twenty minutes at a steady trot, maybe thirty at a walk, why?”

Pushing Javier’s aviators up your nose and wiggling in the saddle, you grinned. “Over the fence, race you back!”

Just like that, you were off. Aristotle seemed just as joyful as you as you leapt the fence with ease, using what little riding knowledge you had. Javier caught on to your game and followed suit, laughing as Bella and Aristotle raced side by side.

The trail was likely too dangerous to keep this pace at, but if you weren’t mistaken, you could wind around the forest, staying at your pace. Abandoning Javier at the path, you cut a sharp turn, feeling the wind on your skin as you laughed.

True to your thoughts, within ten minutes, you were coming up on the ranch with no Javier in sight. Jumping the fence yet again into the riding ring, you pulled Aristotle to a stop, jumping down and stroking his nose.

Maria and Cynthia ran up to you as you straightened your shirt. “What happened?”

The sound of hooves alerted you to the return of your husband. “Javier and I went for a ride. I challenged him to a race home. He lost.”

Javier stopped Bella beside you, looking you up and down as he slid out of his saddle. “That was some damn impressive riding,” he said. “Congrats.”

You grinned. “C’mon, let’s put these two away and relax.”

Of course, in the Peña house, there was no such thing as relaxing. You and Javier were halfway to the porch when Javier was hit in the back with a water balloon. He turned, back dripping. Melissa and Patricia both pointed at each other, barely containing their laughter.

“Oh hell no!” Javier said, taking off his shoes and smiling. “Get back here!”

He chased after his sisters, both of which ran away, shrieking with laughter. You sat on the porch swing, watching Javier grab a water balloon and throw it. His aim was off, so instead of hitting Patricia, he hit Maria, who immediately joined the fight as well. Within minutes, all six Peña kids were throwing water balloons at each other and laughing. It was such an innocent sight, and it made you sigh. How long would you be in Columbia fighting the Cali Cartel? When would Javier get a chance to laugh like this again?

A shriek pulled you from your thoughts as Maria took control of a garden hose and began to aim it mostly at Javier, catching Lori and Cynthia in the process of soaking her brother. Javier ducked away from the hose spray, and Melissa snuck around Maria’s back and stood on the hose. It was a simple trick, but one Maria fell for, looking into the hose and immediately getting a face full of water.

“Niños!” Javier’s mother yelled, coming out of the house. “Que estás haciendo?”

“Jugando, Mamá!” Javier called, sitting up in the grass from where he’d been play wrestling with Cynthia, entirely soaked and decently muddy. “Melissa lo inició.”

“Did not!”

“Did to!”

“Niños!” Javier’s mother said again, trying to cut the childish bickering off. “Lavarse!”

“Si Mamá!” The chorus of six voices called back. Javier was up first, shaking like a wet dog and trotting over to the house, followed by his sisters.

Ten minutes later, a significantly cleaner Javier was sitting next to you, his hair still wet and in completely different clothes. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you said softly, watching the large extended family gather for dinner.

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

“Hm?”

Javier took your hands. “You only ever use that tone when something is really wrong. What is it?”

You shrugged. “Just wondering when we’ll be back here. Will it be years, like last time?”

“Not if I can help it,” Javier said softly. “Hey, look at me cariño. This won’t be like last time, okay? I swear it. We’ll be home soon.”

Nodding, you kissed Javier, running a finger over his ring. “I love you.”

Javier smiled, kissing your forehead. “I love you more.”

You leaned against him, taking in the setting sun and the bustling happiness of the yard. Someone started playing music, and you perked up. “Oh! I love this song!”

Javier tipped his head, trying to figure out what was playing. “I don’t know this.”

“It’s from the mid sixties,” you said, standing and tugging Javier to his feet. “Never charted, but my mother loved it.” You started to sway with the happy music, and Javier copied your movements. “Hey, hey, hey, lover, you don't have to be a star,” you sang, making Javier smile. “Hey, hey, hey, lover, I love you just the way you are.”

Javier moved his hands to your waist, and you put your forearms on his shoulders, still swaying and singing. “For love is just the same, without fortune and fame. Just give me true love and understanding. True love and understanding.”

The song kept playing, and you kept singing, dancing with Javier on the porch. About halfway through the song, someone interrupted you. “Hey, dorks!”

You jumped, almost knocking into Javier and hurting him. “Jesus! A warning next time!”

Maria grinned. “Mamá says it’s time to eat, and if you don’t come down, she’ll feed your portion to the dogs.”

Javier smiled. “Yeah, that sounds like Mamá. C’mon, let’s eat.”

You took Javier’s hand, following him off the porch, still singing lightly as the grass crunched under your feet and the warm Texas breeze rippled your clothes.

“Hey, lover, treat me good and nice, and it will be alright. Just give me true love and understanding. True love and understanding.”

[jbbuckybarnes]

Scared & Sacred - Ch. 5

Pairing: Din Djarin x pregnant!Reader Description: The Mandalorian had helped you while you were hunted for your family name and you had grown a little closer over the months, but you didn’t expect THIS. How was this possible after just three times of getting so close  to him. You had to find a nurse as fast as possible. Warnings: pregnancy, fluff, helmetless Din, canon divergent, not proofread, probably inaccurate pregnancy stuff, several mini time jumps, stressed Din, emotional Din, just Din having feelings.

M A S T E R L I S T

Chapter 5 - Arcaro

You were on Arcaro again, your monthly visit to the nurse droid was on the plan. Din had gotten more and more protective of you over the last weeks. Anyone looking at you the wrong way got a slight hint at the blaster on his hip. „Din, relax. Just get me to the nurse.“ You chuckled at his irritability. „Sorry, cyare.“ He noticed how tense he had gotten and grabbed your hand again.

„End of fifth month, healthy, you‘ll need to drink a lot more now. Do you want to know what it will be?“ Din nodded eagerly and you smiled. He could take off the helmet in here with just the droid present. „It will be a little girl.“ The nurse droid beeped and Din got teary eyed. A little princess, just like he wanted. „I‘ll give you some things that will help with swelling.“ As always the droid knew what was coming at you. „Thank you.“ You sat up and took it from her. „Anything I can help her with?“ Din asked with his back extra straight. Not that he had anything to prove to the non-living being. „Helping around the house, massaging, long walks.“ He nodded in response, he could do that. You were sent on your way shortly after, picking up some food on the way.

Back on the ship you watched him take off his helmet and kneel down in front of you, bombarding your ever growing belly with kisses all around. „My little princess, my flower, my tiny queen, my magic.“ He felt a kick against his lips. „That‘s my girl, already kicking around in there.“ He grinned and rubbed your belly. „She has the sass from me though.“ You grinned and he stood up again to nuzzle his nose against yours. „Yes, she does.“ You grabbed his helmet from his hands. It was still shiny, still beautiful. You put it on without second thought. „Hell, how did you live in this for decades?“ He snorted at your voice being distorted with his settings. „You look cute with it.“ He grinned and leaned against it. „I know.“ You chuckled and felt him take it off again. „I‘ll keep that in mind,“ he murmured and you looked at him with a smirk. „Oh, I can read you like a book, Djarin.“ To shut you up he captured your lips in a passionate kiss. „Did we just sexualize religion?“ You giggled against his lips. „Don‘t know what you‘re talking about. Just like seeing my girlfriend in my attire.“ He kissed your cheek with a big smile. „Typical boyfriend things, I see.“ You snorted and went through his hair, staring up into his brown eyes. They were mesmerizing every time. „We should marry.“ He murmured and both of you widened your eyes a bit. „I mean we should, but that was out of hyperspace.“ You chuckled at how suddenly he had said it. „Sorry.“ „Don‘t be. I just need a nice dress and we‘re good to go.“ His eyes widened again, „What?“ „I don‘t need a fancy wedding...unless it‘s normal for Mandalorians.“ You got more unsure. „But you‘re a princess. Don‘t you want a wedding that‘s all special?“ He dipped his head to the side like his adopted son when he was confused. „I mean yeah, but as long as it is with you I‘m totally okay with a nice dress and our friends present on Sorgan.“ You shrugged and you saw his gears turning. „I‘ll have to think through that for a little bit.“ He couldn‘t quite grasp that you wouldn‘t want to go all out. It was you after all, someone with royal lineage.

„I need you to make the most breathtaking dress you‘ve ever done.“ The seamstress nodded along and smiled at his intense care. „Very comfortable, because I don‘t want her to be uncomfortable with my unborn child.“ „Can do that.“ „And showing off the belly. She‘s proud of the baby.“ His heart grew three sizes at that. „Okay, just send her by tomorrow and I‘ll measure her and start working on it.“ The woman nodded before taking her small upfront payment. He had already talked to Omera about his plan and she was currently secretly planning the entire food for the wedding day as well as telling the young men of the village on how they should prepare the tables and pavillon.

While on the way back he sent a message to his friends on Nevarro. The messages back ranged from shock to dumb questions that he didn‘t need right now. He would have to fly a lot the next few days. You needed your measurements taken, he needed to get a piece of jewelry made and he still had to figure out if he should wear his armor or something ceremonial. And all of it had to happen as a surprise. He didn‘t think he would ever throw a surprise wedding, but you said you were open to it and you happened to be pregnant with his child. He couldn’t really help himself.

„Hey, cyare?“ „Hm?“ „I want to bring you to a really nice lady tomorrow who makes dresses. Want you to feel pretty with my child, yeah?“ You looked up at him and dipped your head to the side. „What are you up to, Djarin?“ Your eyes narrowed. „Just want to spoil you a bit now that we‘re safe.“ He grabbed you closer and you planted your head against his chest. „What kind of dress?“ „I don‘t know, a pretty one.“ You felt him shrug. „Idiot.“ You chuckled before taking a step back and noticing a nervous tick of his lips. „I‘m gonna give Grogu his lunch, you wanna join?“ He shook his head. Something was off, hopefully nothing bad.

__

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[julieandthefandoms]

Housefull 2 MDZS/The Untamed AU

HELLO THERE MY LOVELIES! I’M MAKING A WILD TUMBLR REAPPEARANCE AND I BRING WITH ME SHINY NEW SHOWS I’VE WATCHED AND PERHAPS THE GREATEST AU I’VE EVER WRITTEN DOWN! 

Okay, so, I’m going to preface this by saying that I finally watched the Untamed over the past summer and now am slightly obsessed. I am also in the middle of reading the novel and watching the animation, so... that’s something.

Anyway, today, I decided that it would be a good idea to rewatch my favorite childhood film, a little Bollywood comedy titled Housefull 2. Upon rewatching this, I realized that the MDZS characters would fit really well into the convoluted mess of this plot and so I wrote a little bullet pointed AU idea thing. 

(I don’t think I’ll have the time to write this, so if anyone wants to use this concept, pleaseeee tag me/tell me about it. Also, if anything like this is already written, pleaseee tell me too, I need the crack content.) (I’m also desi, by the way, so I don’t know much about Chinese culture, so please tell me if anything is offensive or just plain inaccurate.)

So, without further ado, I’ll be presenting this Housefull 2 MDZS/The Untamed AU! 

-As per canon, JZX is emotionally constipated and couldn’t communicate until after his engagement with JYL got split up. Having made their sister cry, JC, WWX, and NHS (who gets roped into it) plan to crush JZX for hurting JYL. 

-They send WQ to crush JZX by breaking his heart but give her such vague instructions that she accidentally falls for Mianmain. 

NHS: “So... who’re we supposed to use to crush this Peacock. I mean, it can’t be any of us.” 

WWX: “I don’t know about y’all, but I’d be great at this mission.” *wiggles eyebrows*

JC *rolls eyebrows*: “I think you forgot that mom will have your head if you do something like this.”

JC: “Hey, you remember her from university?” 

WWX: “Who?” 

JC: “You know, *her*, the one with the needles who could murder anyone and get away with it” 

WWX: *laughing* “Holy hell, the Peacock doesn’t know what’s coming for him!” 

NHS: “And who might this mystery lady be?” He says, knowing exactly who this mystery lady is. 

JC and WWX: “Wen Qing.”

-All the while, JGS thinks that WQ and JZX are engaged because the Idiot Trio sent an envoy ahead that claimed WQ was a head disciple of Jiang and is a replacement for JYL. JGS has now set the engagement of WQ and JZX in August. 

-They find out about Mianmian/LQY and WQ too late, and now JC, WWX, and NHS send someone else, LWJ, to crush JZX’s heart. 

JC: “You can’t continue to do this, what happened to our deal?!” 

WQ: *death glares* “What our deal said was that I needed to woo someone vaguely in relation to the nickname “Peacock” and happened to be in Lanling as payback for JZX breaking your sister’s heart, I don’t think I’m the one who forgot our deal here.” 

JC: “And your first thought was that Mianmian/LQY was Peacock?!” 

WQ: “She’s pretty and a Jin, so…” 

Before there would be a throw down in this place, WWX interrupted: “Okay, WQ it’s alright that you feel for Mianmian/LQY, but who is supposed to help us teach JZX a lesson now?”

NHS: “I don’t know, but it could maybe be someone who’s already close to JZX.” 

JC: “That sounds like a horrible ide- Wait, that’s lowkey kinda genius. Do you remember him from university?” 

WWX: “Him?” 

JC: “Yeah, you know, him, the one who’s entire vocabulary was the syllable “Mn” and whom you pined after for years.” 

WWX *blushing like there’s no tomorrow*: “We can’t send him, he’ll probably send me off to do 50 handstands” 

JC: “Please, he’s do anything you ask him to” 

NHS: *flutters his fan while knowing to an extreme degree what’s going to happen*

-They send WWX as LWJ’s ‘driver’ for him to make sure the plan is on track, but it just ends in LZ/WY pining. JC is also sent there as a businessman since he needs to make sure JGS doesn’t suspect anything too suspicious. At the same time though, because JGS thinks WQ and JZX are engaged and since LWJ spends most of his free time talking to Mianmian/LQY about his hopeless pining, JGS starts to think that Mianmian/LQY and LWJ are to be engaged and plans another engagement. JGS is quick to inform LQR about this and now LQR thinks that his nephew is married to Mianmian/LQY and that they’re getting married in August. 

-At some point here, LXC is in Lanling to visit his bud Meng Yao and that’s when JC and LXC begin talking and stuff. (This can be platonic or romantic, I don’t have a personal preference). 

-Additionally, this is also when WWX and LWJ begin investigating the happenings of Lanling and discover the extent of an asshole JGS is. They'd probably be reported sporadically and NHS definitely sent this evidence to detectives XXC and Song Lan. 

-So far, no one has gotten to properly executing this plan, and JC & WWX are beginning to question things. Because things couldn’t possibly get worse, this is the moment when Madam Yu decides that it’d be a good idea to visit the Jins in order to remind them of their arranged marriage between JYL and JZX. So now, JC and WWX have to drag both LXC and JYL into this convoluted plot because otherwise everything would go horribly wrong. JC, WWX, NHS, JYL, LXC, WQ, LWJ, and Mianmian/LQY (WQ directly told the boys that if they don’t let Mianmian/LQY in on this, she’ll personally shove a needle where it hurts) are in this room together, attempting to processes the absolute mess that has occurred. (Poor JZX is still living obliviously, his father didn’t even tell him that he’s technically engaged to WQ now. JZX is just vibing in confusion and thinks he’s just being buds with LWJ because LWJ is horrible at flirting with anyone that’s not WWX so his job of breaking JZX is... not going well.) In the end, after being on the receiving end of many of JYL’s disappointed looks, JC and WWX convince her to help them with their plot just this once. (She wouldn’t tell anyone that she was secretly pleased, but hey, JYL kept her vengeance deep, deep down low and deserved to exercise it just this once.) 

-(it is important to note here that in this AU, Madame Yu doesn’t know what JZX looks like) 

-The plan would be that LXC would (reluctantly) pretend to be JZX in front of Madam Yu. Additionally, Madame Yu thinks the actual JZX is NHS (because JC panicked and that’s the first name he could come up with when Madam Yu asked who was that kid if LXC was JZX). This was to drive JGS off their tails as he still believed that WQ is engaged to JZX now. (He did email LQR about this as well who now thinks his nephews are now engaged to JYL and Mianmian/LQY, respectively, and are going to be married that August.) This is the part where WWX and LWJ finally start realizing that their feelings are mutual after a pep talk from Mianmian/LQY, LXC, and WQ (who’s pep talk sounded more like a shovel talk) for LWJ and from JC, NHS, and JYL for WWX. This is also when Mianmian/LQY and WQ grow closer and also decide that the rest of the group is useless and team up with NHS to knock some sense into JZX. Finally, JZX becomes less emotionally constipated and confesses to JYL, and because WWX, JYL, and JC think that an intervention from the scariest trio (WQ, Mianmian/LQY, NHS) is apt punishment, they call an end to their payback. (Also partially due to JZX having character growth as different characters grilled him throughout this AU). While this is great for our mains, it can only cause a bunch of shenanigans because of the way the parental figures interpret this situation. 

-JGS and Madame Jin think the pairings are: WQ/JZX, LQY/LWJ, LXC/JYL, WWX/NHS

-Madame Yu thinks the pairings are: JZX (except it’s LXC’s version of JZX)/JYL, LWJ/WWX, LQY/WQ, and (maybe?) JC/NHS (except it’s JZX who got confused for NHS)

-LQR thinks the pairings are: WQ/JZX, LQY/LWJ, and LXC/JYL

-Meanwhile, the pairings actually are: JZX/JYL, LWJ/WWX, LQY/WQ, and (maybe?) JC/LXC

-In conclusion, they’re all utterly fucked. Therefore, they have to bring everyone into this convoluted plot now, and finally JZX’s experiences over the past months make a little more sense to him. While discussing this mess they’ve created, WWX has an idea. 

WWX: “Okay, so, looking at the actual chart of who everyone thinks is who, the biggest disparity is between Madam Yu and JGS’s viewpoints, right? What if we just removed Madam Yu from the equation, make Madam Jin and Madam Yu have a falling out so that Madam Yu won’t be invited to the wedding so that we can focus on one of the false interpretations of all the relationships happening.” 

JC: “Madam Jin and Madam Yu have been the best of friends, how are we supposed to make them hate each other?” 

JYL: “I mean, we could stage something, a betrayal of some sort.” 

NHS: “I’m liking the way you think.”

-So through this plot and NHS’s concerning amount of connections, our group succeeds in breaking apart Madam Yu and Madam Jin’s friendship. JC and WWX also manage to worm their way into convincing the Jins to let JYL marry LXC to “spite Madam Yu’s wish of combining the Jiang and Jin families.” Because of JGS arranging and emailing parents throughout this fic, JYL, JZX, LXC, Mianmian/LQY, WQ, NHS, WWX, and LWJ are basically set to be married in August, except it’s to the wrong person! Soon enough, the wedding day arrives and the gang has a plan: they’ll dress the exact same and have the most elaborate and disruptive headpieces so that their faces are covered. 

(Note: Instead of NHS being part of the people getting married as it should be, JC is replaces him for the actual ceremony. Since the our marrige folks have their faces covered, nobody really notices that JC replaced NHS and is marrying LXC. This can be either because of a marriage of convenience to combine companies, or out of actual feelings. I’m cool with either interpretation in my head. Meanwhile, NHS is out in the crowd and People didn’t him because of his surprisingly useful camouflage fan.) 

-And so, the group sets NHS as their distraction while JC pretends to be NHS for the wedding ceremony. NHS basically knocks into the most expensive vase he can find so that most of the parental figures turn around, giving the group getting married the opportunity to switch places with one another until they’re in the right spot. So, a bunch of stuff happens, Madam Yu barges in to yell about how disgraceful it is for the Jins to go on with this marriage even though they broke the engagement in the first place and betrayed the trust of the Jiang corporation. Madam Yu also just, airs out JGS’s dirty laundry in a real badass way. 

-It’s all chaotic. Hell breaks loose. JGS goes batshit crazy and starts bringing our firearms. And so, basically, everyone ends up hiding behind pillars and stuff, though, eventually, after everyone has to run out of their hiding spot’s because Su She cannot shut the fuck up and keeps getting the other’s exposed, they all pile behind JGS in the world’s worst game combined game of Hide & Seek and Slither.io. It all finally ends when JGS gets arrested for a shit ton of crimes, and everything finally ends with a joint wedding between 8 people, except this time it’s with the right partners. 

So, yeah, that’s the AU that I wrote in a dazed craze in the past 2 hours. I hope it was at least partially understandable. I hope y’all have fun with it! Again, if you know of a fanfic that’s got a similar energy or want to write something similar, please tell me, I need more fanfiction. Also, that last scene is basically a direct copy of this scene from the movie Housefull 2. (I’m sorry though, I can’t find an english subbed version of the scene. :(