#ironically despite not being a people person at all shes very much an advocate for collaboration and dealing more w humans

[rosykims]

this is so funny. istimae writing this like "right. okay. who has she stabbed this time :/"

[raaorqtpbpdy]

I just watched Blue Beetle and as much as I enjoyed it, I can’t say I’m not also a little disappointed.

Like it had all these fantastic elements! It had wonderful dynamic characters, and a very well established sympathetic secondary antagonist cast against a completely detestable primary antagonist, and a fun aesthetic, and cool technology, and great humor—I mean I watched it with my dad and brother and there wasn’t a single joke that didn’t make at least one of us laugh.

But it felt like all these stupendous pieces had been stuck together with duct tape and chewing gum instead of being stitched together properly and fully integrated with each other to create a cohesive story.

(spoilers under the cut)

I never advocate for movies to be longer because I’m not great at sitting still—but this is one movie that really could have used an extra ten minutes or so, just to slow down for proper scene transitions and to let people actually process the story aspects rather than just the characters.

I don’t want to knock its emphasis on family either, because it was not a bad thing by any means (I loved the family dynamic and it felt very organic and realistic), but it was sometimes redundant to the detriment of other necessary elements of the story.

Like the scarab, you know, the catalyst for the entire film?

It got treated as an object even after they learned it was sentient, and then largely ignored unless it needed to say or do something to progress the plot. They said it was sentient and then didn’t give it a personality. Even Jarvis had a personality in the Iron Man movies and he was just a computer program, not a sentient AI.

The only time I felt like the scarab was being treated as an actual character as it should have been instead of as an accessory was when Jaime’s mom pulled him aside and addressed it specifically when she gave them both her motherly pep talk, and then the callback to that pep talk during the subsequent fight scene, and I absolutely adored that moment, I just wish it wasn’t the only one.

They told us repeatedly that Jaime and Khaji Da were integrated and their respective minds were connected, but they didn’t really show that. They didn’t really address it at all outside of the way they fight together. Like these two characters are literally irreversibly fused together but somehow they never got an actual relationship dynamic.

Khaji Da immediately agrees when Jaime makes his no killing rule clear, despite obviously disagreeing before that point. It responds instantly when he asks for specific weapons. In fact, after the initial booting-up sequence, when it dragged Jaime around without consideration, it almost never disagrees with Jaime or exerts its own will at all, despite it being supposedly sentient.

It doesn’t even get a proper introduction. Jaime just starts calling it by name unprompted and that gets completely glossed over. They don’t even use it to further establish how their mental connection works.

The plot just skips over the inconveniences of a symbiotic relationship to jump into the action.

Also, any information we get about Kord or Khaji Da is rushed and simplified and then immediately gets tread on by the character development scenes. And I’m a sucker for good character development, which this movie has a lot of and which I loved, but you can’t throw necessary exposition and worldbuilding under the bus for it. A good movie and a good story needs both, and this one just wasn’t quite balanced right.

All in all, I definitely liked it, but I’m frustrated but the potential that was so agonizingly visible but that it didn’t quite live up to.

[noahtally-famous]

'supernatural au thingie' 👀?

okay so first: I'm sorry for responding so late, readapting to college life has been quite hectic lmao

secondly: I did not expect this to catch on this much so I’m putting a disclaimer that this is only partially thought up and partially pulled out of my ass, so pls bear with me lmaoo

thanks for the asks and the comments!! and as desired, here it is! (heads up, it's kinda long 😅)

JASMINE: descended from the great women warriors, the mythological Amazons. even without her ancestry, she's truly a pillar of strength, both physically and mentally. people naturally gravitate toward her for reassurance yet are intimidated by her, alike. her ancestry shows in subtler ways, enhancing the skills she already has; her affinity for animals, particularly horses and other riding creatures; the strength and endurance that surpass an ordinary human; her combat skills that outpace even the strongest warrior. because she is a warrior, one who loves traveling, never being tied down, and who advocates for equality. women can be just as courageous as men. however, despite being equivalent to a show of strength and courage, her stature leaves her more of a lone wolf. (now she doesn't mind so much; she has her ragtag group of friends, after all. like, the phantom who's also a corporal human, in the throes of fear (and hatred)--a self-battle--of the opposite side of the creatures of the dead, an elf with a skewed perception of perfection that seeps at her very being like a parasite leaving her near-invisible compared to her sister, even a hunter who doesn't know what she's getting into setting foot in this town, and a seemingly ordinary guy with a lot more unordinary to him much to his utter dismay. it's far from perfect, in fact, with everyone's accumulating problems, things might get worse before they get better. but she's descended from the Amazons. she's a pillar of strength; she's there for them. she'll make sure everyone survives.)

SHAWN: best friends with Jasmine and Sammy; a ‘ghostbuster’ kinda guy except he doesn’t track down ghosts—he tracks down every other dead entity though. the reason? you can’t track down what you already have in you. along with being a hunter of the dead, ironically, Shawn is also a form of phantom. an accident gone terribly wrong, his physical body is never the same again. while he is a corporal human being, he can do the typical things phantasms can: walk through walls, move quicker and smoother, etc. he's a fantastic hider, only wishing to be found when he wants to be or when taken by surprise. it makes sense that he’d also entertain a deep distrust for the undead; ghosts and zombies are on opposite sides of the spectrum after all.

DAVE: an ordinary guy. totally, utterly, completely ordinary. right? yeah, no, that's what he thought (and hoped). he was ordinary, to give him credit, until a mysterious animal attack ("werewolf!" his best friend, Shawn, often whispered. "or a zombie!") caused his dormant unordinary genes to awaken. understandably, it's cruel irony that the one person who prides himself on being totally normal is actually a supernatural being that is the rarest and most abnormal. like a kick to the face, really. harbinger of death? seriously?! bad enough he gets premonitions of death and, on many occasions, though he's learned to control it over time, has to scream it out, but he's also part of the branch of supernatural that's predominant in women. come on, it's in the name, isn't it? banshee. alas for Dave, that isn't the case. he's going to have to learn to live with his oddity--the rarest of them all: being the male version of a banshee; a ban-he. even among the supernatural world, he's given a second glance. an oddity among oddities, concealed until he cannot anymore. (interesting parallel between Shawn and Dave in here, hm? one having a foot at death's door, the other literally being able to see death. makes sense that Dave's one of those few ppl able to find Shawn when he disappears). a tether, an anchor. he has one in the form of the girl he is closest to; he hasn't ever fathomed what would happen to him if anything drastic happened to her. he doesn't want to fathom it. harbingers of death retain emotional connections as a coping mechanism to ground them to reality, it can be hard for them to move on or let go at times; but he needs to learn to do so, to find a better way to survive, or else it will eat him up from the inside.

TOPHER: it makes sense that Topher would be a siren. an alluring way of words that makes the one spoken to preen; compliments upon compliments slowly luring them in. the catch, however, is simple but unconventional. whispers spread of a curse, (though no one knows if it is true and, if so, who was the curser); of the siren who is the epitome of the greek being Narcissus--only focused on himself even as people throw themselves at him. The Narcissus siren Topher puts his ambitions and fame over everything and everyone else; he would do anything to get on top. trust has no place in his worldview; the only person he does trust is himself. his reflection in the water is the only important, the only beautiful being, and if anyone dares cause some ripples, he'll make sure they regret it.

LEONARD: he's a fairly simple one. with a staff in hand, a penchant for spells and potions, and seemingly gibberish words leaving his lips, it's obvious he's bound for the path of magic. he can sense magical signatures--even potential supernatural ones within a person, though not the specifics. he's a magnet for abnormality, so it makes sense that he embraces it and is able to see it within the so-called normal world. and he does--he embraces the idea of being different, unique. magical. after his scientist father and an accident involving one of his inventions, getting these sweet powers was a pretty awesome deal for him! even if his father still, for some reason, doesn't seem to believe that magic exists. (it's a good thing his uncle, who has faint dwarven blood in him, does or else Leonard will go stir-crazy living with overly logical people.) and it's not just his family, magic is, ironically, the last thing people want to fully believe. aliens, the apocalypse, werewolves, everything else is fine. but magic? and, by extension, Leonard? no way. while it's amusing, it also disheartens him; that the world is so monochrome that such a bright thing like magic is seen as a faraway nothing. I mean, that's fine. it's not like he can show it off everywhere. there are some people who believe him (like the fae with a rose-tinted view of love, and the fiery girl whose supernatural signature is multiple shades of red and orange--like fire); but wherever he went, it seems like a lot of people don't like to believe him so readily (that one guy at school who scoffs at his displays is one of them; but Leonard can do one better: he can see the inhuman signature concealed in the guy's DNA. temporarily. not so normal after all. it'll be quite interesting to watch that blow-up happen--and it will happen soon.)

ELLA: with a musical voice that draws animals--and even people--toward her, her life and perspective are rosy and romantic. despite being a fae, Ella's far from mischievous like her companions. all she wants to do is help her friends and be a good friend in turn. flowers sway in her presence, they are soft and delicate, like her; but there are some plants that are deadly when truly provoked, and surprisingly, that is her as well. she doesn't use it often--if at all--but faes are known for their deadly anger, especially if scorned. Ella keeps saying she is nicer than her brethren, but how far can one really go, when pushed too far, to distance themselves from what's a part of them? (she's one of the few people to break down a frenzied Dave's walls from the start; perhaps it's because, in the end, despite their vivid differences, they both had similar intentions, but for different reasons; they both didn't want to acknowledge a part of them; the difference is that Ella embraced her difference compared to the other fae, Dave attempted to reject his.) really, she just wants to feel love. true, genuine love, unlike the illusions her brethren create.

SKY: truth be told, she's fully and utterly human. not a single drop of supernatural blood in her. no, she's not like Dave; there's seriously nothing hiding within her. however, that doesn't mean she doesn't have a foot in the supernatural world. similar to Shawn, she is also a hunter--though not just of ghosts and the dead; Sky hunts any and every supernatural creature. having grown up with a drive and passion to eradicate the dangers to the world and with an Achillean mentality on her shoulders, she sets out with the belief passed down by her family that the main (and only) thing posing a threat to the innocents are the supernatural. she's about to realize just how wrong she is and how far loyalties can go...

SUGAR: at a first glance, one might assume she, too, is a siren; with a deadly passion and alluring grace that has won her many pageant awards and golden crowns, she can make beauty look messy and deadly but in a defiant way. and that may be true; sometimes the blood and genetics of various supernatural creatures mix within one person. no one relly knows for sure if Sugar and her family hold traces of siren genes. perhaps she also has barbarian genetics in her as well--with her deadly rage and the fire in her eyes when she's scorned. or perhaps that's something different entirely; the fire in her eyes, the deadly rage--like a wildfire, the way her hair seems to glow and spark like embers if you focus on it; sometimes the temperature rises a bit. honestly, if you think abt it, Sugar being a fire sprite makes sense; as well as the traces of dragon ancestry--she hoardes those gold crowns and trophies like nobody's business, basks in pride like its second skin, highly possessive of what she deems her righteously deserved, she doesn't like being scorned; it only feeds the flames. living on a farm, she probably isn't aware of the true power within her.

BEARDO: he can do more than just mimic sounds; the sounds revolve around him. he can warp things, even reality, with just the noises he makes. 'sound manipulator' would be the best way to classify him; his power relies on sound, itself; making him quite a powerful being, indeed, as sound is everywhere, even in the slightest drop of a pin. it's a good thing he isn't vengeful or antagonistic or else there would be problems.

SAMMY & AMY: with their delicate features and light hair, their semi-pointed features, and light eyes, the elven blood runs prominent in the twins. it's said that with little effort they can merge together into one terrifying creature, an unstoppable force; but neither are willing to test that theory out. they hate each other, one unconsciously jealous of the other, while the other just wants to break free from the toxicity. they are each other's monsters, the unstoppable force. while Amy revels in the attention she gets--at the expense of her twin--using her willowy ways to obtain her twisted rose-tinted version of perfection (all elves are obsessed with perfection of some sort), Sammy is the outlier. slowly, she starts to slip away, become more and more Amy instead of Sammy. she cannot stop it, it's the bane of being an elf; Amy's version of perfection bleeds into Sammy, forcing her to believe the same. And elves will do anything to reach that level of perceived perfection. sooner or later, Sammy won't be Sammy anymore unless something changes. like maybe her version of perfection. (but that's something she ultimately has to do on her own; no one else, not even her friends, can pull her out of the merciless grips of the unknown if she doesn't feel like she deserves to be seen.)

MAX: according to him, he's an evil genius. a mad scientist who wishes to observe and pick apart the supernatural. unfortunately (or rather ironically) for him, despite saying over and over that he's a man to be feared, his abode has unintentionally turned into the main sanctuary, a home base for the supernatural. everyone somehow ends up there whenever they need assistance and he complains that he doesn't want to help him, but in the end he does (either via subtle threats, or bc of his own curiosity). over time, he becomes this disgruntled supernatural magnet who helps but is a bit eccentric with ideas that are even more eccentric than his personality). he wants to make himself into a supernatural creature too, invoke that kind of power, but fear holds him back from many things--including becoming part of the supernatural. you know the saying 'his bark is worse than his bite'? that is Max to a T. kind of ironic that the guy who wants to be a supernatural creature doesn't as opposed to some other certain people mentioned above who wanted the exact opposite. (although he is intrigued by that inventor who he asked to be his sidekick. pretty dull move on his end, but he will only realize this far later on. as of right now, he has not a clue why she suddenly despises him so much. he is the evil genius in the making, right? an inventor as a sidekick would be good! he just doesn't get why she's so against it. is he offending her? nonsense! evil doesn't offend...but is he? people are so unnecessarily complicated, ugh.)

SCARLETT: an inventor with quick, deft hands, and a faster and sharper mind, every bone and nerve in Scarlett's body hums to creation--of the mechanical kind. but the mechanisms in her body are not just of the human variety; there is a way of thinking that people often drift to the kind of hobby/career that describes them physically. in Scarlett's case, it is truth. first being experimented on by her overly ambitious mother (a trait she shares) and then testing her own inventions on herself (that is the only form of testing she knows and is used to, after all), and, as the cherry on top, an accident that left half of her body immobile had it not been for an emergency surgery that left one part of her body human and the other a working mechanism of gears and wires and other robotic parts; Scarlett thinks it's funny, really, when she says the only organ in her chest where her heart should be is merely a pulsing hunk of metal. she wonders, at times, if the heart in her is even her own; perhaps, during the surgery, the doctors had switched hearts to keep her alive. it's a thought that sometimes keeps her awake at night, pondering.

RODNEY: no one, not even him and his family, knows his lineage. it's tangled enough as is without bringing in the supernatural too. the phrase 'gentle giant' isn't lost on him; barbarian is too...well, barbaric for someone like him, and there have been considerations of fire sprites or merely forest nymphs and dryad ancestries. the truth is unclear. as said previously, the lineages of the supernatural can get mixed up; it can make sense that Rodney and his family retained several branches of the supernatural. if you ask him, Rodney would say he's just a guy with a love for the forests, the trees, and everything in them. most of all, he loves his family. he would do anything for them. one would even say they're like his pack, but they don't. the supernatural lineages are quite mixed up in this family without adding speculation...right?

[serpenteve]

why we ship darklina

an essay literally no one asked for

Nobody needs a "reason" to ship Darklina. But considering this is a villain x hero pairing, it got me thinking about why we shipped it in the first place when the narrative and author so badly wanted us to root for the more sensible alternative pairing and why it became the most popular ship of the entire trilogy.

Personally, I find it really interesting (and low-key hilarious) that a lot of the reasons shippers gravitated towards Darklina can be directly traced back to how badly Bardugo bungled Alina's character arc, Mal's entire characterization and narrative role, Nikolai's wasted potential as an alternative love interest, and the noble intentions she gives the the Darkling.

Alina's Character Arc

Alina's character arc doesn't match who she is as a character. I've written more about that in this post, but a lot of readers were introduced to a passive and insecure protagonist who we were expecting to undergo a typical YA coming-of-age character arc where Alina acquires self-acceptance, confidence, and embraces the full breadth of her powers over the course of the trilogy. Instead, Bardugo gave Alina the kind of character arc that's usually deserved for power-hungry anti-heroines or tragic heroes with a fatal flaw to punish.

The plot offers a strange binary: either Alina suppresses and hides her powers and therefore stays away from descending into villainy OR Alina attempts to find Morozova's amplifiers in order to defeat the Darkling but then becomes corrupted by power in the process. Alina's journey to self-acceptance and exploring her own powers are unfortunately entangled with her relationship with the Darkling. The only way she is allowed to move forward through the plot is to succumb to the corrupting influence of the amplifiers.

For better or for worse, the first character to really embrace her powers instead of thinking she's a fraud or that she's weak or that she's an unholy abomination is the Darkling. He's the first person to recognize her power for what it is and accurately judge its potential and implications for the rest of the world. He advocates for her in front of the royal court, in front other Grisha who think she's weak, and even against Baghra who is initially a very ill-tempered mentor with little to no faith in Alina's abilities. He even rather ironically advocates for her even when the heroic person who's supposed to be supporting her (Mal) does not.

At the start of her journey, Alina is insecure and in constant need of assurance and validation. The Darkling's role as her mentor and guide into this unfamiliar world of Grisha makes him the perfect advocate not only for her powers but also to help Alina see her place in the world. However, once he is revealed to be the villain, Alina also fails to realize that it's time for her to advocate for herself and throws the baby out with the bathwater.

Mal's Characterization & Narrative Role

When Alina loses the Darkling as an advocate in S&B, Mal steps up to take this role. Alina is still rather passive for the majority of the first book and it's Mal who originally wants her to have Morozova's stag as an amplifier if it will mean being able to stand against the Darkling. Bardugo intended for him to be a heroic love interest as a foil to the villainous love interest and I believe she mostly succeeds for the first book.

However, because this is a story about punishing Alina's "evil ambition" (despite there being very little evidence of that) Mal is supposed to serve as a voice of reason in the narrative. Once Alina considers the necessity of acquiring more amplifiers to defeat the Darkling, it is Mal's role to warn her of the potential consequences, to remind her of her inner humanity, and to ward against the corrupting influence of Morozova's amplifiers. Mal's declarations that he wants back the old girl he knew without any power is meant to drive an ideological wedge between them, yes, but he's also meant to be Correct™ because, again, Bardugo is writing a story about a corrupted power-hungry heroine who goes too far and needs to be punished rather than the arc we were all expecting and the one that Alina's character needs: a coming-of-age story of self-acceptance and personal growth.

Some point after the backlash of Siege & Storm, Bardugo seems to have become aware of her mistake and attempts to scrub Mal's character to be more sympathetic. There is a bizarre exchange half-way through the third book when Mal finally declares:

"I wasn't afraid of you, Alina. I was afraid of losing you. The girl you were becoming didn't need me anymore, but she's who you were always meant to be."

This is an interesting line because it's a complete reversal of Mal's narrative role so far. He's supposed to be her voice of reason that opposes her at every turn but readers interpreted him as being resentful of Alina's powers and angry that she was no longer dependent on him. Bardugo is forced to retcon Mal's entire role in the narrative from being a voice of reason that opposes Alina's quest for power to a supportive friend who will fight by her side. But this was never her initial intention and I believe this change was brought on 100% by audience reaction because she failed to understand the arc her heroine needed and the kind of story her audience was anticipating for such a character.

Needless to say, having your heroine's main love interest actively resent her quest for power until half-way through the third damn book did not endear many readers to Mal. Because Bardugo failed to understand the kind of character development her heroine needed and failed to understand audience expectations, we hated Mal. He became the embodiment of every toxic chauvinist we'd ever met who can't stand the idea of his partner's success and feels entitled to be the center of her universe. He was not the voice of reason. He was an annoying gnat hellbent on dragging the heroine down and away from her destiny. We did not want to root for him. Even the villain was more sympathetic than him because he could bring her closer to achieving the self-acceptance the narrative was obsessed with denying her.

Nikolai's Wasted Potential as a Solid Love Interest

Nikolai plays several roles in Alina's journey but most importantly in our discussions for why we ended up shipping Darklina, his entire potential as a serious love interest is wasted.

When we meet Nikolai, we have hitched our wagons to the Darklina train because despite being the villain, the Darkling is the only one who will allow the heroine to accept her powers and come into her own. Her heroic love interest, Mal, is actively sabotaging her efforts and holding her back from her true potential. But then, in swoops Nikolai and we pause, wondering if there may be a better heroic alternative after all?

In a lot of ways, Nikolai and the Darkling alike: they are eager for Alina's power and see her as a solution to all their problems. They may want to use Alina to prop up their own agendas, but unlike Mal, Alina's summoning powers are a massive plus, not a burden. Nikolai is the heroic alternative to our villainous Aleksander. So we wait, wondering if Nikolai will be the one to fix this mess of a romantic subplot. His royal connections offer an easy path to upwards mobility for our heroine and we sense that an alliance between them (even if it's initially political in nature) may bring our heroine closer to obtaining more power, influence, and self-acceptance not only for herself, but also for the oppressed minority she is a part of.

But, again, Bardugo is still obsessed with that "punish the heroine for wanting power" agenda so while Nikolai exists as another mentor figure who offers Alina advice on how to rule, how to appeal to other people, how to charm, how to win people over, and Alina learns and applies much of what she learns from him, he is not treated as a real love interest.

Despite Nikolai being written as a fairy tale prince (handsome, charming, smart as a whip, brave in battle, etc) Alina never actually considers him romantically. They are friends and allies at best and the only time she considers kissing him is only when she's pissed about Mal.

Nikolai's proposal at the end of Ruin & Rising feels like one last saving grace, one last opportunity for our heroine to take control of her life and make a dramatic change to break from the past. But this too is rejected because Alina's arc will never let her access any power. She does not reject Nikolai because she wants to marry for love. She rejects him because she has been "punished" for wanting power and has internalized that she must not seek any more power for fear of angering the plot gods (and Bardugo). She must return to being nobody in order to remain a good and moral person.

(And, of course, we resent Mal even more because who in their right mind would choose him over Nikolai? Once again, he becomes a roadblock on our heroine's journey to power. We grow irritated that the heroine is failing to grasp an opportunity to elevate herself. We throw the book against the wall. Why are we even following this heroine?)

The Darkling's Motivations

Still, all of the above might still not have been enough to pull the reader to the villain's side. But the Darkling is the living embodiment of Villain Has A Point™. He is not pure unadulterated evil. He is not Lord Sauron or Voldemort or the Terminator.

He's more Magneto, Roy Batty, or Ozymandias---a man who is part of an oppressed minority who longs for justice and power but is absolutely unhinged in his methods.

Alina runs away because she does not want to be a non-consenting weapon in hands. But we always end up wondering what would have happened had Baghra not warned her. What would have happened if Alina gladly joined the Darkling's side? There's hundreds of fanfics written precisely about this situation because despite the villainy of his methods, we wonder if Ravka might not have been safer after all?

If the Darkling had used the Fold as a weapon against Fjerda and Shu Han, would any of the problems Ravka faces in the later books even exist? Would any Grisha fall victim to the khergud programs or be killed as witches? The Darkling wipes out Novokribirsk and kills hundreds of lives, but how many would he have saved with the Fold as Ravka's greatest shield and sword? 🤷🏽‍♀️

And therein lies the problem with the trilogy inconsistent moral landscape. The Darkling is an anti-villain that exists in a narrative that is very black and white, unlike the rest of the books in the Grishaverse where our protagonists are anti-heroes who kill, steal, and torture their way through the plot with nary a judgmental glance from the narrative. We long to see our heroine give in to her dark side and get her hands dirty because watching a naive, passive, scared little girl grow into a ruthless powerful Grisha would have made for a hell of a compelling story.

But that's not the story Bardugo wanted to tell.

The Greg Trilogy

Despite taking place in a fantasy Tsartist setting, the Grisha trilogy is oddly anti-Grisha. The narrative doesn't spend much time trying to examine the context or implications of an oppressed minority group fighting for power other than to say "magic powers = evil". Nikolai skates by on a throne of inherited wealth, privilege, and imperialism but it's okay because he's charming and witty and the only monstrous part of him is the Darkling's curse. Literally everything is worse for Ravka and their Grisha after the destruction of the Fold but Ravka must move forward into a new age without relying on Grisha power but putting their efforts into new muggle technologies. Alina must be stripped of her powers and returned to her "old self" in order to be purged of evil.

Basically, it's all one gigantic ✨ dumpster fire ✨ of mismatched character arcs, incompatible moral aesops, inconsistent characterizations, wasted potential, unexamined plot points but it's a a dumpster fire we lovingly and spitefully embrace in fanfic.

We don't ship Alina with the Darkling because we're stupid abuse apologists who somehow missed the giant flashing moral aesop of the books---and honestly, who could have possibly missed them when it's shoved in the reader's face every other chapter? We ship Alina with the Darkling because the entire ship is the embodiment of wasted potential (and wasted ✨aesthetics✨ tbqh 👀). We ship Alina with the Darkling because we're sick and tired of stories where female power is demonized. We ship Alina with the Darkling because the plot gave us literally no other alternative to see our heroine succeed except to give in to her alleged villainy.

But most of all, people ship Darklina because Leigh Bardugo utterly failed in writing the story she intended to write because had she succeeded, Darklina would not be the most popular ship of the trilogy.

[dragonmuse]

do you think Flint will make more appearances? everybody's reactions to him are gold so I almost want more of him just for that

He certainly could! I don't have any ready ideas for him, but I will take prompts if there's anything specific wanted.

To give a thumbnail sketch of how I see McGraw and Gates Law Firm group generally: The firm itself literally is just Flint, Gates and Silver as the lawyers, Anne as the eventual paralegal and an admin assistant which is a constantly rotating role that they have trouble filling, once Anne is no longer in that position.

They are a very united front. Flint and Gates are very close, if not always in agreement with how things should go. They're both very serious men, who see what they do as incredibly serious business. Silver is a bit of a wild card, chaotic, kind of playful and inclined to boasting and while he's a great lawyer, in the office he downplays his skill intentionally. This does not fool the senior partners, but they appreciate his way of doing things as it gets results. Anne finds all of them hysterical and very much enjoys her job. She's very effective, but it has been determined that she cannot be client facing because she has no poker face and a very low opinion of the people they work with. She and Silver eat lunch together pretty much every day that he's not in court.

Flint's personal life is very quiet. He doesn't live in the city, but has a house in a quiet neighborhood (I would say ironically probably in a similar neighborhood to Izzy and Eddy in You're Awful, I Love You) with his husband Thomas. Thomas works for a nonprofit that advocates for freedom of speech and voting rights. An exciting weekend for the pair of them is a brisk debate as they go for long walks. Despite Flint's big dom energy, they don't actually have that dynamic going in their lives. Flint expands that energy in court and mostly at home just wants to relax with a whiskey and a book. They both spend a lot of time at the local library where they're known as 'The Quiet Couple' because they will browse, sit for an hour or more in the comfortable chairs, and then meander out without say a word to each other or anyone else.

Gates is single, though he had a lover for many years, who passed unexpectedly. He's known in court for being very methodical, if not an inspired speaker, but he has wracked up just as many wins as Flint because of his meticulous nature. He has met Izzy and Eddy at various times in their careers too and mostly thinks of them as faintly ridiculous, but at least steady, clients.

Silver has a wife, Madi, and they're about an active and social couple as exists. Madi is also a lawyer working in-house for a civil rights organization. They put in a lot of hours for work and in their off time, they love to throw dinner parties that go into the wee hours with a range of local movers and shakers. If there is something intriguing going on in their neighborhood, one or both of them has a finger in the pie.

[ruki--mukami]

Hello admin. I'm the same anon who asked about Ruki's redemption arc. I wanted to ask you how YOU would write Ruki's MB redemption arc. Or how you would conclude his MB route as I trust your writing more than Rejet's inconsistency.

🧩 To be honest with you, Anon, I’m flattered you trust my writing more than Rejet’s (I believe they change their writers with each game, which explains their inconsistencies) but I don’t have an answer as to how I’d redeem Ruki in the context of his MB route in particular. Not yet, at least. Maybe one day I’ll write my own version and post it. That’s something I’ve always wanted to do: take the original chapters of his route and expand upon them because omg are the originals short. 

If anything, I see the three routes (MB > DF > LE) as three parts to a larger story. I know they tried to redeem Ruki by making him seem like a character you can sympathize with, with the whole turning human by the end of DF cliffhanger and him learning the truth behind Karlheinz in LE. I believe they tried to turn him human again to use the common trope of making villains select right over wrong in hopes of redeeming the character (except Karl chose it for him and he just… agreed, of course, which doesn’t make it a redemption per se). And the whole aristocracy plot twist is supposed to make you feel sorry for him, which is ironically what he hates.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, after all the awful deeds Ruki has committed, at this point he is an immensely difficult character to redeem. And I am no skilled story writer by any means. I’m more so good at tapping into Ruki’s character and riding off of other people’s ideas, using him as a devil’s advocate or even antagonist to their stories more often than not. My redemption might look like a lot of torture and suffering inflicted by Ruki in the beginning, only for him to gradually help you with challenges that come your way. You soon learn that, despite him hurting you as much as he did, he’s adamant about being the only one who has the privilege of doing so.

For instance, perhaps they could’ve explored more of Ayato kidnapping Yui. It would’ve been interesting to see Ruki fight harder and formulate an elaborate plan to take her back after realizing the Sakamakis don’t love her like he does. Instead, canonically he just lets her go, and is shocked when she returns to him. But I know most people don’t like a story where the writers introduce a bigger villain to mitigate what the original villain did. Hence, why I’m not a very good storyteller, ahaha. I am working on my own Ruki route, though. 

I also think I’m probably the last person you should ask about redeeming Ruki. My love for the character really shows in my failed attempts to redeem him, because I often make the mistake of thinking people will grow soft on him because he shows one or two vulnerabilities amidst all the torture. He could step on me and I’d probably thank him, so there’s that. In a lot of the RP threads I have going, you may have noticed typically OC’s will develop a hatred for Ruki, and reasonably so. However, on a case by case basis I’m willing to allow him to compromise on some things. For example, in one ship I made him relinquish his master-livestock dynamic (although I really normally wouldn’t do this because the master complex is actually one of my favorite traits of his lol, so don’t expect that to recurring).

There are many ships I want to see thrive on this blog but even I don’t know how they’re going to get past the conflict. I try to have a mix of bloodsucking scenes and regular “bonding” scenes where they just share a normal conversation and find potential common ground, but whether or not you can call that redemption depends on the person’s tastes, which makes redemption for any character very, very difficult to write. And truth be told, I’d rather not diminish Ruki’s sadistic nature to make that happen, since I love the idea of this powerful, feral Vampire being obsessed with your blood only and the moment someone else tries to hurt you, he snaps. The “how dare you touch what belongs to me” possessiveness. Perhaps there should’ve been more scenes where you fall ill or sustain an injury outside of his punishments and then he shows genuine care over you, since even his possession is not allowed to hurt themselves and all that, but I’m just brainstorming now. These are just ideas on a whim that should be taken with a grain of salt, but when I write my fanmade route I will definitely take the time to flesh out these ideas into something workable.

TL;DR: I think my problem with redeeming Ruki is, I love him the way he is canonically, so to take away from his sadism in an attempt to redeem him never turns out well for me which is why I continue to make him sadistic, but just sprinkle bits of fluff here and there and then hope for the best. 🧩

[themadauthorshatter]

YES!

I'M NOT DEAD!!!

Sorry, I haven't been active for a while, guys, I have something personal going on that you don't need to worry ypur pretty heads about, so allow me to make it up to you with:

The Cruel Prince OTP SWAP: PART 2!!!

Trigger warning for drugging, abuse, manipulation, and overall nastiness for this one. If you're sensitive, either read with caution or skip this, though I will try to not be so heavy going into this.

We catch up after Cardan's promotion to Spy and is all sorts of smiley because of it, which catches Locke by surprise.

When asked, Cardan simply states he had his eyes open and he isn't going to let anyone push him around anymore.

Locke's tired of his brother's BS and tells him to have a good day at school tomorrow, because Locke is not going.

Cardan's glad, because he does the best out of the whole class anyway, much to the ire of Jude amd her court of monsters- I mean, Friends😁

Like before, all goes well until Nicasia and Valerian push too hard and almost kill Cardan, i.e. forcing Faerie Fruit into his mouth and making him choke.

He does not choke, but he does get lost in the effects of the fruit. To make matters worse, Jude is about to save him, but, remembering how he wears iron ear cuffs that burned Nicasia and how Taryn flirted with him, throws the salt away, instead. The effects take over and the students, male and female, gather around, having never seen a human take their fruit, and they also decide to have some fun, asking Cardan personal questions, making him admit his preference to protecting life rather than taking it, all Madoc's doing, his desire to be like the Fae, and even his hate for Jude, which kinda stings her. Some even ask if he'll remember and be embarrassed, but Nicasia brushes it off as there are no secrets with friends, caressing Cardan on the cheek.

Cardan weakly says they are not friends, but it only makes everyone laugh more.

Things eventually take a turn for the bad when Nicasia, on a power high, tells him to remove his clothing, minus his undergarments, and Cardan obliges.

Everyone is surprised to see how fit and built he actually is, but Valerian takes it one step further and tells Cardan to remove his rowan berry bracelet.

Despite objection from Edir, Nicasia keeps it going, demanding that Cardan get on his knees and clean her hands, because she got Faerie Fruit on them.

Cardan does indeed crawl to her and is on his knees, but Jude removes her boot and pulls the show stopper: Cardan must kiss her from her toes to her thigh and say he was wrong to cross her and is hers until he dies.

Cardan is overtaken by her beauty, her short beauty, and goes to obey, but Taryn saves him, saying her sister and her friends had their fun.

Jude points out that Taryn picked a very convenient time to save Cardan, but cuts a couple of his fingers to draw blood, just knicking him on the pads of his index and middle fingers, before Taryn puts a cloak around him and leaves, walking him home.

The haze clears and Cardan is horrified and embarrassed, even hearing amd seeing the other students laugh, Jude smirking at him the way he did when he put salt on her food and burned Nicasia with his ear cuff.

Taryn apologizes as Jude has always been hard to put a leash on. Cardan asks how she can stand her, as Vivienne advocated and left Faerie for good. Taryn admits that while she's older, Jude's better to hang out with because she keeps her promises and makes equal bargains: Edir can be her "muse" in exchange for her insurance that none of his work or supplies get stolen, Valerian likes violence so Jude lets him have her "leftovers," Taryn likes being the center of attention and takes people away from Jude whenever she doesn't want to be oggled at, and Nicasia likes a challenge, which Jude can provide in return for her company.

Cardan asks what she means by taking attention away from Jude, but Taryn shrugs that people, namely men, prefer a soft, sensitive, ornamental woman rather than one that picks fights and kills people on a whim.

They stop at Madoc's house and Taryn apologizes again and hopes Cardan doesn't stop coming to school because she likes him, something accentuated with a kiss on the cheek before she leaves.

Cardan is surprised and goes inside. Yes, Madoc still demands to know what happened to him and who did it, even though Cardan lies and says he did it and is a boy, so there isn't need for worry. Madoc disagrees, saying Cardan is his son, or at least A son to him, so he's going to worry about his wellbeing.

As much as he'd love to give names and see bodies hit the floor, Cardan asks Madoc to teach him more, which Madoc obliges to before letting Cardan go to be on his own for a bit(he's not forcing him because he's had an evening to day the least).

Well, Cardan can't rest because he had his first mission from Dain and the court of shadows: infiltrate Hollow Hall and get something incriminating.

Like in the original, Cardan goes to Hollow Hall and finds out Jude not only lives here, but is also being treated like a wild animal by Balekin, who she beats in duels be for he chains her to the wall by her ankle and tells her to fight now, as she is at a disadvantage at their fight is even. In this state, Jude snaps that she already won, so Balekin is the one acting like a child. He growls at her and smashes Jude into the floor by her horn, saying she is the weak one, seeing as how she not only lost to a human, but also can't fight in chains.

It paints a brutal, terrible picture for Cardan, who leaves and gives his findings to Dain: a letter from Orlagh.

Cardan meets the Court of Shadows, gets home, and finds Rhyia chasing Oak, who's missed him. Locke is there too, and Taryn, who says it's good to see Cardan on his feet and not moping, she'll tell Valerian just to piss him off.

Cardan laughs, nervous because of what he saw and almost dying by Valerian's hand, but also says he just needed fresh air. Taryn's glad because she has a better time in school with him around, kissing him on the lips. Well, Cardan, who's been falling for Taryn, kisses back and Locke sees it, coughing and asking what is happening. Taryn simply says she'll see them at school and leaves, the foster brothers cinfused as to what happened.

The story plays out mostly the same, with Cardan learning about Mithradatism, how to spy, falling for Jude and Taryn but still thinking he hates Jude, and even getting attacked by Valerian.

The only major change is that Edir begins talking to Cardan and asking if he's okay, seeing how he's paler and has lost weight. Cardan states he's fine, but Edir does not relent, staying by Cardan's side, even when Locks alla of he has any processes to please between the sheets. Edit admits he's just looking for more pleasurable company, like people who will actually talk and then let him talk and so on. Cardan warms up to Edir and the two become friends to the point where they can talk personal:

Edir was found by Jude, yes. Jude prevented his work from getting stolen, yes. However, Jude keeps him around because she actually likes him. Nothing romantic, of cousre, it's more because she likes how kind and gentle he is and isn't trying to marry he for a futile chance to the throne. Granted, he likes being friends with her, too, but she wasn't really the one who started their relationship. Balekin did to keep Jude in check, offering him up as a plaything Jude could stab and throw knives at. It semi-worked, but also kinda backfired because Edir is now the only one she'll actually listen to because, in her eyes, he's the only male of their friend group who's worth a damn to her.

Cardan's taken aback as Jude is known for being a bitch, but Edir admits that under Balekin's care, no one is sunshine and rainbows. And she may be rough around the edges, but she really does mean well.

Cardan's skeptical, but keeps it in mind as Edir leaves, wanting to make sure Jude and Valerian are okay. Jude isn't a fan of Dain and Edir wants to make sure she doesn't throw anything at him at his coronation and Valerian got stabbed by someone and is really pissed about it. Cardan has no idea how that happened and chalks it up to a duel gone wrong, which Edir agrees to.

Edir leaves and Cardan, having a rush of ideas, realizes that Jude and Balekin might be planning to poison Dain with help from Orlagh.

This is obviously wrong, but he instead tries to save a human who got tricked into service. Pro: it works and they head to the motral world with Rhyia's help. Con: the human decides the ocean is a much better place to live and chooses the fish life over the human life because YOLO. Yes, I'm tryimg not to say what really happens because it's sad and I don't want anyone to be upset.

Cardan is DEVASTATED, but it gets worse because Dain finds out about his fight with Valerian and orders Cardan to prove his loyalty by stabbing himself through the hand.

Cardan obliges, and swear to himself that he'll be worse than the Fae.

It gets worse when, in the night, Valerian comes for a visit and brings a knife with him. Cardan asks what he's doing, demanding to know what he's doing and why he's in his house.

Valerian snaps that this isn't Cardan's home, saying Edir is weak and spineless. Cardan counters that Valerian should leave before he's kebabbed, and if Jude put him to this, he needs to rethink his relationship.

Well, Jude laughed at him, when he told her he'd been stabbed by Cardan. She then told him he deserved it and should've been killed instead of injured.

Cardan admits she has a point and Valerian attacks him, almost strangling him to death until Cardan apologizes and stabs him in the side. It doesn’t kill him all the way, but no need for fear, because Edir is here and he quickly finishes the job, much to Cardan's horror.

Valerian curses Cardan and dies. The two boys silently panic as they now have a dead body to hide.

Well, they quickly hide Edir and and Valerian under the bed, poor Edir, and Cardan does more Court of Shadows stuff,

CORONATION TIME!!!

Everyone gets the suits and gowns designed for them, except Cardan, who gets a suit that's raven and golden and looks incredible. The note with it says, "Thank you for everything. I hope you like it. See you on the dance floor! Good luck tonight."

So who delivered the suit, Dain or Edir?

Oh, well, dance time. Taryn compliments the suit and asks Cardan a bunch weird questions: Does he love her enough to foreswear a promise? Does he love her enough to weep over her, if she hurts him? Does he love her enough to let her go? Cardan answers as much as he can before Jude swoops in and saves him, and kinda talks shit, the two kind of arguing as Cardan tells Jude that he hates her as much as she hates him.

It hurts, but Jude leaves to talk to Edir.

Like before, Dain is coronated and killed, along with most of the other family, save for Taryn, who left with the rest of Madoc's family.

Balekin, out of options, shouts for Jude, who is nowhere to be seen.

[recurring-polynya]

I have to say I knew that at one point renji, ikkaku, yumichika and iba were in the same squad with kenpachi but good god you managed to paint a beautiful picture for me. I simply assumed that for them it was simply party time all the time along with a few bald jokes but this is much better. Emotionally healthy squad 11 which still love fighting more than anything. I always cringed when someone would just describe them as hooligans that do nothing but fighting. I mean they do that too but I love the idea that they are all emotionally healthy and mature, a loving and supportive family to their own - in their own wakka doodoo kind of way thats endearing - and of course they are in my opinion they single capable force against sexisim. Because they don't care about anything else - gendere, sexuality, gender performances, race, mentality or anything - other than if you fight good you respectable and if you fight good in squad 11 you family. ( like when kenpachi just became captain he made yachiru his lieutenant and no one was against it no one thought it was beneath them, sure thru nag at her sometimes but that's mostly in a banter like way because she call them stupid nicknames but no one hates her for being unrightfully their superior. One day they got a new captain and a new lieutenant that's a child and they just went with it.) I admit their disdain and disrespect to squad 4 is still frowned upon but I do believe some squad 4s can handle their own, it's just that we saw the really peaceful ones. Anyways sorry for ranting. Just wanted to say that yeah, I really like how the past squad 11 with iba and renji in it was a great place in general. I think if they found out some one was being sexist - for whatever reason - they would be there right next to nanao - or iba's mom protesting. Kenpachi and yachiru as well. And that makes me want to be squad 11 ,despite not being much for fighting, so bad.

So, for starters, thanks! I try to have fun whenever I write Squad 11, and I’m glad you enjoy my take on them.

My Squad 11 is just... really not very canon, though. Canon Squad 11 is actually pretty gross and sexist. Yumichika is transphobic, Kenpachi makes homophobic remarks about Yumichika, they bully Squad 4, there’s a filler episode devoted to a guy that Ikkaku bullied for, like 100 years because the guy lost his reiatsu saving Ikkaku’s dumb ass.

When you write fanfic, you occasionally run into these more problematic aspects of the source media, and you can choose to dig in and analyze them, or just... remake them in your own way. Take for example, Gin. If you read fanfic about Gin, there are some people who will peel away the layers of him and his fears and insecurities and still make him be a horrible gremlin, and it’s really stellar writing. Other people prefer to write him in an AU where maybe less bad stuff happened to him, and he’s more mischievous than sociopathic, and this is a less meaty interpretation, but it’s also more fun. Sometimes fanfic is a meal and sometimes it’s candy. It fulfills different needs and different fantasies and all of it is welcome.

Yumichika, who for me is the fulcrum of Squad 11, presents this problem. I really don’t like the way his “appreciation for beauty” plays out in canon. He doesn’t actually appreciate beauty, he just likes telling other people they’re ugly. I don’t think he’s ever pointed out beauty in anyone else aside from himself or his zanpakutou. I remember the first time I watched his fight with Charlotte and it struck me as so off -- why wouldn’t he find her beautiful? I mean, I know it’s a transmysogynistic joke, that’s why, men dressed as women is funny, hurr hurr, but Yumichika is gender nonconforming himself. This was an opportunity to make a cool character point, and Kubo took the cheap laughs road instead. Going back to what I said last paragraph, a skilled writer could, in theory, write about his insecurities and his brittleness and meanness and write a pretty compelling story, but a) Kubo certainly doesn’t, and I have never actually found a Yumichika-centric fanfic of this nature, and b) this doesn’t fit the role I need him to play in my stories. I am rarely really interested in writing about Squad 11 for its own sake. I like to write them as a backdrop for the period of Renji’s afterlife where he hit absolute rock bottom and bounced back up again. We already know the role Ikkaku played in this, except that Ikkaku is a complete moron in terms of mental health, and I really, really felt like this is where Yumichika needed to come in.

I like to massage Yumichika’s character a bit, but I do want to keep the flavor of some of his character flaws-- he’s still shallow and mean and judgy, and I love that for him, but I like to add in a positive side to his appreciation for beauty. Having Yumichika make fun of Izuru’s pores is funny but it’s even funnier if he’s just given Renji a compliment on his hair first. The idea that a Yumichika compliment is attainable makes all his drags the more vicious. Yumichika also judged people by their beauty instead of their moral character, which is humorous to me. He dislikes Byakuya as a person, but is obsessed with his haircare regime. I like to have him treat Rangiku as an equal, beauty-wise, and a person whose opinion he respects based on her aesthetic. Rangiku is actually a pretty savvy and very emotionally intelligent person whom many people write off because she likes to present herself as a lazy airhead, so in an extremely convoluted way, this all works out. I like to think that Yumichika’s ideas of beauty are also caught up in boldness and risk-taking and having one’s outward presentation ring true to their inner self. To me, this is the core of why he loves Ikkaku. To him, Ikkaku’s devotion to doing the most Ikkaku thing at all times, no matter how stupid, is irresistibly sexy. 

Aside: At some point, I decided that the fact that a lot of people in Bleach have colorful marks on their faces and elaborate hairstyle and accessory games implied that make-up in Soul Society is gender neutral. I like to think there is actually more of a divide between the nobility, who like their make-up to follow rules and be classy, and, well, Squad 11, who like to get make-up ideas from Jem and the Holograms. I don’t even wear makeup (I don’t know how and it’s expensive and I am ashamed of myself, we can talk about my own gender presentation later) but I like to write about both my male and female characters wearing make-up. I don’t actually know how my readers feel about it, but it just falls under the “Is that what people want?”/“It’s what we do” philosophy of all my writing.

I think one of the theses of my writing is that middle management is more important to the character of a squad than the person at the top. Captains sort of act as ideals to strive for, but they are generally unapproachable for one reason or another. Yachiru is more like her captain in this respect (which makes sense, since she is, in fact part of her captain). Ikkaku and Yumichika present this dual idea that 1) strength is awesome, fighting and being the best is awesome, and 2) part of strength is presenting yourself to the world in a bold and confrontational way. (The fact that both of them are hiding huge parts of themselves is laughably ironic). Kenpachi and Yachiru are shining examples of Do Whatever You Want and Be So Strong That No One Can Stop You. 

What really makes this work is that you need someone one layer down-- does anyone actually subscribe to this nonsense, and that’s why Iba - Abarai Squad 11 is Best Squad 11. I really, really enjoy the genre of Reddit posts where a total bro will find out that his girlfriend is trans and react by becoming a vehement advocate for trans rights. I love the bodybuilders typing encouragement to each other meme. Our world is flooded with disingenuous messages from concern trolls trying to tell us why being kind and inclusive to one another is bad or that you should reject help because struggle makes you stronger and the idea of a Himbo looking at something like that and saying “that seems dumb" is delightful to me.

I actually feel like there are a lot of awful people with bad ideas in Squad 11, it’s just that Renji and Iba don’t put up with their shit, and over time, that becomes the culture of Squad 11. I think that Squad 11 has incredibly turnover, but the ones who stay are the ones who subscribe to the ideas you mentioned-- fighting is what matters, if you wanna go argue about shit, go join Squad 5. In the IkkaYumi story I wrote, which happens shortly after Zaraki takes over, a ton of people leave. The Bount Arc (which I know a lot of people skipped) features a dude who was extremely pissed off because he had liked the old Kenpachi and thought Zaraki sucked and was so mad about it that he betrayed Soul Society. You might think that this arc would feature Zaraki caring about this in some way shape or form, but he really didn’t. So, I think there are a lot of Soul Reapers that took issue with serving under a little girl as a vice captain, they just aren’t in Squad 11 anymore.

Oh, one last note on Iba’s mom. I am of an age where a number of my friends have mothers who were Second Wave Feminists. The moms in question are a real mixed bag, because they Came From a Different Time, and on one hand, you have to respect what they went through, and on the other hand, they are very difficult to get along with. I liked the idea that Iba has always chafed against his mom and her big personality, and then Renji comes in, and is like, “hey, your mom is strong as hell and she has a lot of ideas that I never thought of but they make sense” and Iba realizes that, even though she’s still a huge pain in his ass, his mom is the person who made him who he is. Moms are complex.

Uhhhh, I have definitely lost the thread of wherever I was going with this post. Thank you for enjoying my Squad 11, which is nothing like canon Squad 11. Hopefully maybe this year, I will actually finish my Squad 11 Self Care story, where Renji stops being a drunk disaster person after Yumichika teaches him how to fill his brows; I got stuck on a part where Rangiku gives Renji a talk on ethical sluttery.

[eurosong]

Undo my ESC '21 (semi-final two)

Good afternoon folks, and welcome to the second part of Undo my ESC – my annual quest to make the year’s Eurovision better (at least, for me xD) by making a feasible change in each country – it could be something as small as altering a lyric or a staging detail, or as big as a different artist entirely winning the NF. Semi-final one was here so let's jump straight into SF2!

🇸🇲 San Marino: We're thrown into the deep end here with a fan fav that doesn't do at all for me. I'm one of maybe 5 people on the planet who prefers Freaky by far, I guess? I'm happy for Senhit to be getting so much love and for the diminutive serene republic to finally have a shot at a good result - but I'm not so keen on the way it's been done. There's a bit of cognitive dissonance for me because my favourite thing about Adrenalina is Flo Rida's rap, but I don't like the idea of bringing in famed American artists like "ringers" to elevate a song above one with "only" local talent. I would be so tempted to give the rap part to local artist IROL instead to spit some hot bars in Italian.

🇪🇪 Estonia: I had hope this year, I really did, for my era of absolutely adoring Estonia at ESC to be revived after 4 painful years. There were so many good songs at this year's Eesti Laul, like those of Ivo Linna, Egert, Gram of fun, Heleza - but ultimately, my huge favourite was, as expected, Jüri Pootsmann. Anyone who followed this blog back in 2016 knows how much I adore Jüri and was desperate to see him get a redemption arc at ESC itself. Magus melanhoolia was one of the best songs of the season for me and one of the best stagings. As much as I prefer '20 artists to get their shot in '21, problematic Uku with his toxic ex vibes song will have to step aside and let the Jüri renaissance happen here.

🇨🇿 Czechia: I really dig Benny Cristo - he has personality, presence and his own enjoyable style. At first I was kinda disappointed with Omaga because I was expecting something more in the vein of Kemama, with more pronounced Afrobeat influences. But it has grown on me a lot too. My change? Add more Czech than just one blink-and-you-miss-it line, mate! (Article continues below)

🇬🇷 Greece: I see this being talked up as potential televote top 3 and I just don't get it. Maybe it's the way the chorus rhymes dance with itself three times (and uses the term rockin' romance unironically); maybe it's the way that there are better 80s-inspired songs both in ESC and many fallen tributes in the NF season... it just leaves me cold. I actually preferred Supergirl and my change would be for Stefania to bring something with some actual Greek flair.

🇦🇹 Austria: I’ll echo what I said last year about Österreich – how did they go from Conchita to a guy who wished he wouldn’t have gay kids like this? I find both of this guy's songs insipid in different ways and I would invite Pænda back instead to avenge her getting robbed with the beautiful Limits. Or give a second shot at glory to the incredible Cesár!

🇵🇱 Poland: Unpopular opinion, but I absolutely love The Ride, and I feel bad for Alicja, but I much prefer it to Empires. What started as an ironic fondness for Rafał's cringy uncle vibes ended up being genuine appreciation - it's one of the few 80s-inspired songs that sound like they actually could have come out of that decade rather than like modern pastiches. And Raf actually does have an awkward charisma. My change - insert some Polish! Poland does so well with natural sounding bilingual efforts in JESC, they should bring it to the main contest too!

🇲🇩 Moldova: I was lowkey prepared to be disappointed by Moldova - I actually enjoyed Prison a lot and the news that they were going in a completely different direction didn't sit so well with me. And yet, I also love Sugar. Natalia's power! My changes: get rid of that weird scene with literally egg on her face - too on the nose for me. And incorporate a bit of the stellar Russian translation, Tuz bubi, because I'm always going to be advocating for more linguistic diversity xD

🇮🇸 Iceland: Daði Freyr can literally do no wrong with me. Whilst it doesn't have the same intense extra-fandom hype that Think about things did, I think I like Ten years even more. Nothing to change here.

🇷🇸 Serbia: It's no secret that Hurricane were far from my favourites at Beovizija 20, and that I find this a downgrade for Sanja compared to her powerful '16 song. And yet... Hasta la vista grew on me a lot, and so has Loco loco. It's something that is definitely scratching an itch at this year's ESC and the burst of anarchic energy it'll provide will be amazing. I am seriously tempted to change to the acoustic version, though, which has all the attitude of the original but is more beautiful for me and lets the girls' voices shine more.

🇬🇪 Georgia: Georgia keeps serving acquired tastes, and as a patron saint of marginal genres and I love them for that. This year, they've gone for something that even many fans of Tornike find hard to swallow - gone is the roaring rock of last year, replaced with a much more contemplative, soft effort that reminds me a little of Lou Reed. I enjoy both songs, but I can't deny preferring 2020. At the same time, I admire the chutzpah required to send something so different. I just wish there could be a moment to properly showcase T's powerhouse vocals.

🇦🇱 Albania: It was an odd Festival i këngës this year, outdoors in the freezing cold and without the orchestra that makes the songs soar so much more for me. Karma is a perfectly respectable winner, albeit one that lacks the immediacy and rawness of Shaj, Ktheju tokës and Mall. In my ideal alternate reälity, Arilena Ara would have been invited back. She'd bring a song as beautiful as Shaj - and not do a revamp into English that removes its edge this time.

🇵🇹 Portugal: 2015-2020 was a full on Portugal stan era for me. I want to believe that this year is an aberration and that in 2022, our lusitanian neighbours will produce the goods once again. Because ending a colossal streak of not sending songs that don't include Portuguese for this? I am baffled. I wanted the anthemic Joana do mar, produced beautifully by Luísa Sobral, or the timeless Contramão, which sounds like it escaped a Nouvelle Vague soundtrack. Saudade, Por um triz or a number of others would have been grand too.

🇧🇬 Bulgaria: I wasn't expecting much from Bulgaria - I really didn't and don't like TGS and the majority of songs in Victoria's NF-but-not-really aren't my cup of tea. I was happy she got her second chance, but resigned to not liking the song much that would get picked. And then, my fav, which was last in many community ratings, ended up being her pick. I adore GUIGO and believe it has the possibility to do very, very well at Rotterdam and be one of the 'moments' of the evening.

🇫🇮 Finland: CRIMINAL how YLE treated Aksel - it felt like he wasn't the defending champion, and that Erika Vikman had won the previous year. They also - I believe, deliberately - split his vote by making his just one of a number of ballads, so of course what stood out most were the two decidedly non-ballady songs. Finland only two years ago had a single-artist UMK. They could and should have brought it back for Aksel. I'd hope Hurt would win it, because that song is stunning.

🇱🇻 Latvia: I was, and am, delighted that Latvia stuck with Samanta Tina. The lady lives and breathes ESC, even wrote a university thesis about it, and if she tried so many times, finally won and then DIDN'T get to go to ESC, I would have gone to LTV headquarters personally to remonstrate. I really like both her songs. The moon is rising is poised, powerful and like nothing else this year. The only thing I'd change is adding some Latvian because it's a gorgeous language and we've been waiting for ages to hear it again.

🇨🇭 Switzerland: Gjon's song is once again not really my cup of tea, or tears - but I enjoy it better than last year's and I'm glad he's back. Highkey wish it did include Albanian or Romansch like confused commenters last year thought it did.

🇩🇰 Denmark: There is literally no excuse for Denmark's treatment of Ben & Tan. I'm not even a big fan of their music at all, out to not even allow them to compete in DMGP to defend their win with Iron heart? Even though there are songs that competed in DMGP that I prefer a lot, most notably Står lige her, I would probably have let them have a proper second chance.

And the automatic qualifiers voting in this semi -

🇫🇷 France: For me, France had an absolutely enthralling, sincere, perfectly Gallic entry that hit me so hard in the feels. And whilst I respect Voilà, no, that wasn't it. It was Pourvu qu'on m'aime, easily one of the best songs I heard all year inside NFs or out. I find Voilà a little too mannered and affected, whilst PQM is a shot straight from Juliette's heart into mine. In my dream, it'd have won CVQD and be receiving the same love that Voilà is right now.

🇪🇸 Spain: Whilst it is getting next to no love in the fandom and seems quite forgotten, I find Voy a quedarme one of the best songs sent from this country in several years - and I say that having preferred Memoria. I am proud of Blas and love that he had a hand in writing this song. My change? He said recently that the staging in Rotterdam won't be inspired by the poignant music video despite wanting it to be - I would incorporate elements from it in the live.

🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Frankly, I think almost all the Big 5+1 brought it this year, with the notable exception of Germany. Embers is the banger that I never thought was coming from James Newman, and it's been one of the biggest earworms of the season. I wouldn't change anything about it - I'd just ensure that the staging replicated the energy of the video as much as possible!

[imjeralee]

Comfort in Despair: Chapter 25 - The Exorcist

Leon x F!Reader

Disclaimer: Do not own Pokemon

Summary:

Galar is rich in folklore and tales of the supernatural.

As a Pokemon Researcher who specialises in ghost types, this is a great opportunity for you to investigate and learn more about the paranormal.

Along the way, you meet Leon (in the most awkward way possible) who becomes embroiled in your adventures.

^ Basically this story is about ghosts :/

NOTE: ok so Genshin Impact has consumed my soul and I updated this on Tumblr a bit late sorry!!! There’s several warnings here to be shared with you all:

WARNING 1 - this chapter contains a real exorcism prayer and you should not read this prayer out loud unless you are a catholic priest.

WARNING 2 - I've never used an ouija board and I don’t plan to. You’re welcome to share with me your ouija board stories if you have tried one before but I myself don't know if they're just board games or really a gateway to let things in. Anyway people say exercise with caution so please do so should you ever decide to use one for whatever reason.

WARNING 3 - there is mention of blood, I toned down the exorcism here

Rating: General/Teen

@marydragneell​ here is the latest update

The Exorcist

…

…

[Legend of the Void:

(Ezra's version, which introduces concepts such as the merging of two universes to explain the origins of man + pokemon subservience to humans)

Before the concept of time existed, before anything existed, there was Something, and you may as well say this 'something' was a god, a divine being or interdimensional entity, and this entity created a Universe under the right circumstances and conditions, and he would proceed to create humans.

And for a while, the Creator of Man was happy until he saw the evil ways of humanity and he saw this evil run rampant in his world. Regretful and upset, he decided to destroy the very thing he created with a flood.

However, the Creator of Man didn't choose to restore this world. After he destroyed it, he left and found another Universe - a Universe that was similar to his own, except it was inhabited by strange creatures which we know as pokemon. Now they already had a creator, and their creator was called Arceus, who emerged from a void after our Creator did. And our Creator saw that this Universe was just as peaceful and beautiful as his previous one.

He decided to give his creations a second chance so he made humans all over again and placed them in this world. But mankind are a destructive species, the human heart is filled with evil intention and it always will be, and the humans began creating devices to enslave the pokemon race in order to utilise them as tools.

My notes: According to the Church of Circhester, this 'version' is completely unorthodox. It is 'baseless fabrication and blasphemy' and Ezra was condemned as a misanthrope.

Sometimes I wonder where Ezra gets his theories from because this is highly controversial. It's fascinating that to this day and age, scientists are actually still trying to figure who caught the first pokemon, what was the first pokemon caught, and why (ie, how did early humans gain this knowledge, who told them and/or did anyone tell them, what prompted them to capture a pokemon?), and how did they manage to do so in the first place.

Could the discovery of catching pokemon be similar to coincidences that happened throughout history, such as how cavemen discovered fire, how Newton discovered gravity?

(edit: there is a myth that Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to humans. For his transgression, he was to undergo eternal torment as punishment - ie, bound to a rock and have his liver eaten out everyday, only for it to re-grow hence an ongoing cycle. He was freed by the hero, Heracles).

Interestingly enough, flood myth also exists in many cultures albeit with different variations (pls refer to: The Epic of Gilgamesh).

Also, I'm pretty sure Team Plasma advocated that pokemon were oppressed and should be liberated from their trainers but then again they were also being led by a psychopath with his own selfish motives.]

…

…

A few years ago.

The weather is thunder and lightning, coupled with intense spitting rain.

And he was sure he locked the cemetery gates before he left but now they were hanging loosely from the chain.

Ezra grumbles to himself, eyes narrowing.

It can only mean one thing: an intruder.

The rickety gates squeal on their old hinges as he pushes them open and steps inside. His heavy footsteps plod through the old, withered path of Greyson’s cemetery as he heads for the mausoleum. That’s usually where they are.

Absol trots beside him, her jaws clamped over the tarnished iron handle of an old lantern; she keeps it dangling in front of her, lighting up the path though it’s not much use to him. He lives in a world of darkness, and he's used to it.

It should have been a normal night, which would have been nice because he wanted some peace and quiet for a change considering how busy he had been for the past few weeks. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts and he wanted to enjoy a pack of beer and cigarettes.

Not tonight, it seems.

He will tell those pesky young lads to go play elsewhere.

But wait, it’s something else.

Absol has been somewhat agitated the moment they approach the cemetery, but now she cannot stop growling.

“What is it?” he asks, but it doesn’t take too long to figure out what it is. “Goddamnit.”

This is just what he needed.

He delves a hand into his pocket and whips out a thin strip of paper covered in sprawling red symbols. Bringing it to his lips, he murmurs a quick enchantment under his breath before it bursts into flames and a smoky smell permeates the air. A bright, glowing light illuminates the symbols and he promptly tosses it high into the air.

Despite the wind, it flutters limply in the breeze for a second and then the impossible happens; the glowing symbols daintily lift themselves off the surface and float in the sky. They thoroughly increase in size, the symbols imprinting the air before they vanish into wisps of smoke.

The talisman proceeds to burn up and all that is left is a crinkly ball of fire which bursts into long and thin lines of flames that zips effortlessly through the air and stretches all the way past the graveyard’s borders.

“That should do it,” Ezra murmurs before he rubs at his aching hip. “C'mon, let’s go.”

He wanders further into the graveyard with his pokemon, pondering to himself what he might find though he is aware the answer to that is essentially nothing remotely good and along the way, a few ghost pokemon emerge from the tombstones and watch them worriedly.

They’re aware of the disturbance tonight but can do little to stop it, unfortunately as it requires human intervention, and is literally out of this world.

A few Haunters point him to the right direction but he doesn’t need their help because he can sense where this unwanted and hauntingly powerful presence is. He may have lived in darkness for a long time but he can see it as clear as day: a twisting, coiling mass filled with nothing but malice.

It is also not alone for Ezra can also sense another human being; a warm and kind but very tired and exasperated soul, about to be devoured.

He hopes they’re not too late and Absol leaves his side and he can hear her padded paws bounding away from him against the pebbly path; she leaps off the ground and snaps her jaws at this person.

There is a brief howl and something weighty slams over the ground.

Absol has subdued the culprit.

Ezra arrives and his hip is still acting up but nevertheless, he limps over and he sees this little warm and pure soul squirming helplessly on the ground as it is slowly being enveloped by the dark presence.

Whoever it is, they cannot even speak, reduced to a gurgling, rasping mess.

He uses his foot to nudge at this poor, unfortunate individual that is writhing helplessly on the floor of his cemetery though he knocks over this thick, wooden plate of some sorts at the same time and there is the sound of a glass rolling.

An Ouija board.

“Help!” a girl screams. “Oh god! Help- aaaghh!”

Morbid wailing follows as she’s forced to contort under the demon’s influence and a few bones snap and she begins crying but the sound lodges in her mouth and she emits a guttural rasp, her throat rattling violently.

The old ex-priest grabs a talisman from his pocket and smacks it over her forehead which ceases her violent fits for temporary.

“Hey, kid. Sit tight, I’m gonna get it out, you hear me?”

“O-okay!” she squeaks, and though he’s surprised she can even respond, she returns to the incoherent snarling and growling. As he tries to grab her, she makes several routine attempts to bite him.

Avoiding her as much as possible, Ezra bends down and lifts her into his arms with the help of his pokemon who helps nudge her into his arms.

“Steady now,” he says as he carries her into the mausoleum, which isn’t too far ahead.

He hears her croaking and choking, fighting the entity within as he settles her into the huge stone chair inside. Absol closes the door behind them and then trots over with a thick coil of rope which she collects from one corner.

He thanks her and begins strapping the girl carefully and securely into the chair with rope, keeping her wrists and ankles bound as she kicks and flails, hurling curses and obscenities at him, screaming and roaring and shrieking in a feral manner.

His pokemon stands watch as the girl starts slamming the back of her head against the stone, growling raucously.

But Ezra remains calm and lights various rows of candles that line the walls, pulls his silver cross out and clutches it tightly in his old hands and kneels in front of the altar, his weak knees hitting the dirt. Since his vision failed him, he hasn’t moved the statue or the water trough anywhere else.

He chants a prayer under his breath and dips his fingers into the water. God bless him. God save her soul. He does the sign of the cross and then heads over to the duo and blesses his pokemon as well, which she appreciates by purring affectionately.

Grabbing an old brush, he dips it into a bucket of old red paint in the corner and begins painting a sigil on the ground as quickly as he can around the chair.

Once he’s finished, he dumps the brush to the side. He moved to stand in front of the girl who has ceased her wild shrieking in favour of hissing spitefully at him.

“Be silent,” Ezra commands in a loud, booming voice, before he tosses some of the water over her.

And so it begins.

“In nómine Pátris, et Fílii, et Spirítus Sancti. Amen,” Ezra chants with his silver cross in hand which he proceeds to thrust in front of her face, “Exsúrgat Deus et dissipéntur inimíci ejus: et fúgiant qui odérunt eum a fácie ejus. Sicut déficit fumus defíciant; sicut fluit cera a fácie ígnis.”

Outside, the muffled clap of overhead thunder can be heard, the wind howling.

He continues, “Sic péreant peccatóres a fácie Dei-“

“If you think that will stop me, you’re wrong," says a deep voice.

Dabbing his entire hand into the trough of holy water, Ezra steps forward and smears it all over her forehead before he presses the rest of his palm firmly into her face. The demon shrieks and withdraws.

That’s what you get for interrupting me, Ezra thinks to himself but ultimately cannot say aloud: he must continue the exorcism prayer regardless of how long it could take.

“Júdica Dómine nocéntes me; expúgna impugnántes me. Confundántur et revereántur quaeréntes ánimam meam,” he murmurs, “Avertántur retrórsum et confundántur, cogitántes míhi mála. Fíant táamquam púlvis ante fáciem vénti: et Ángelus Dómini coárctans eos.”

The door suddenly flies open and the brutal, icy wind swirls inside, wiping out all the flames of the candles in a split second. Absol glances around in high alert but Ezra remains still. Raindrops batter his back as the door slams in its frame repeatedly.

The walls tremble from several wicked blows as though an unseen assailant is rampaging outside, circling the mausoleum whilst repeatedly slamming a hammer against the stone, yet Ezra remains calm.

“Fiat via illórum ténebrae, et lúbricum: et Ángelus Dómini pérsequens eos. Quóniam grátis abscondérunt míhi intéritum láquei sui: supervácue exprobravérunt ánimam meam.”

Realising the priest is undeterred, the monster unleashes an unearthly howl and a glass shatters somewhere. It’s bellows and roars reverberate throughout the walls and resonates thoroughly in Ezra’s ears.

Since he lost his sight, his hearing amplified; the shrill sounds of nails scraping against the stone and the chaotic tugging of the rope rises to inescapable volumes as the demon furiously struggles against its bonds.

Ezra continues his prayer, “Véniat illi láqueus quem ignórat; et cáptio quam abscóndit, aprehéndat eum: et in láqueum cádat in ipsum-”

He briefly picks up the coppery stench of blood and very soon, a wet substance splatters over his lips and cheeks and eyelids. It laughs, and another splodge hits the side of his ear.

Raising a hand, Ezra wordlessly smothers the blood away with the back of his hand. “Ánima áutem mea exsultábit in Dómino: et delectábitur super salutári suo. Glória Pátri, et Fílio, et Spirítui Sancto.”

Then he presses his cross over the demon’s head, forcing it to shriek uncontrollably. It kicks and screams, quaking fiercely against the restraints. He applies more pressure, the cross is warm under his grip and steadily growing hotter.

To his utmost surprise, the little warm light he had seen earlier is beginning to return and it is fighting back, growing larger and larger as the seconds pass.

“Come on, kid, I know you’re still in there. You can do it!” he yells.

She keeps growling and snarling, foaming at the mouth. Gnashing her teeth repeatedly, she emits a deranged howl, struggling viciously to reach him.

“Come on! Fight it!”

The walls of the mausoleum quake violently, the ground underneath his very feet trembles. Absol starts growling, leaping around in alarm.

Ezra listens to the excruciating sound of cords straining and eventually coming undone; her fist shoots out and her fingers, sharp as claws, stabs into his gut, and twists.

He grunts with pain, but does not let go.

Easing his other hand into his pockets, he pulls out another talisman; it glows faintly from the enchantment which he promptly slaps over her forehead and with a powerful bark of “Relinquo!", a dark shadow shoots out from her body and into the air with a bloodcurdling shriek.

Freed at last, the girl keels over, her head dipped low, blood gushing from her mouth.

And Ezra stumbles backwards, lifting a bleeding hand off his stomach. He sighs heavily before he feels his head growing light, his body weightless, and he promptly collapses over the floor.

…

When he wakes up, he can feel warmth all around.

He is lying on something soft.

A bed.

He has not slept in a bed for a long time.

It smells like lavender and jasmine.

He despises it.

"You're awake!" exclaims a voice.

It's the girl from the cemetery.

Purring sounds can be heard near his bed and he reaches over; a fluffy head affectionately plops itself under his palm and rubs itself against his callused skin. Ezra grunts under his breath, groaning as he shuffles around under the blanket and attempts to reach for her, though his limbs are weary.

“Cassie,” he utters, and Absol climbs onto the bed, sprawling over him. He gently pats her head and strokes her snowy white fur.

The room is silent until he hears the legs of a chair screeching against the floor and the girl does her best to quietly leave the room. She returns in roughly half an hour however, after he’s had a check-up.

By then, he’s exhausted and wants to rest.

He hears the door squeaking open and she pokes her head in, then steps inside the room and closes the door behind her.

“What are you doing here?" he asks tiredly.

"I needed to see that you'd be okay," she says, "I thought you were dead. I'm…I’m really sorry."

"It'll take more than that to kill me."

"Thank you for saving my life."

"As long as I'm around, nothing's gonna happen to you, kid."

"Thank you, sir. Um...Can I ask you a question?"

"About what?"

"About the...demon.”

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything. I want to know if it was the one who took my sister and my father. And if it was, I want to know why it did it and I want to get them back."

“Listen, kid. Don't dabble in stuff you don't understand, especially this."

"I know and I'm so, so sorry. But…can you teach me?"

His unfazed expression doesn't change.

"Please teach me.”

He hears the chair legs squeaking again coupled with a lot of fumbling; she’s flat on the ground before him on her hands and knees. How troublesome, he thinks to himself with a sigh.

"You want to learn how to exorcise demons?" he grunts.

"Yes."

“You?”

“Yeah.”

Utterly astounded, he takes a while to reply and rubs the back of his neck. "Do you hear the kind of stuff that is coming out of your mouth right now?" he growls and she looks up, confused. "You're saying something along the lines of 'I want to destroy a creation of the universe'. Do you know how impossible and crazy that sounds? Do you?"

"A creation of the universe? Are you talking about Arceus? Why would Arceus create something like that…do you mean it’s an undiscovered pokemon of undiscovered type???”

“Hell no. Goddamnit, kid, I mean it came before Arceus.”

“What do you mean, ‘before Arceus’? Arceus came from an egg and before the egg, it was a void of nothingness-“

He sighs heavily. “There was something before Arceus, before the void. You always explain one event as being created by some earlier event, right? So before Arceus, there was some kind of infinite period where time did not exist but during this period, there was something there…do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

“…Not really.”

“Exactly. You’re obviously still in shock and speaking nonsense. Go home, kid. Go back to your family.”

Yawning loudly, he pulls the blanket closer over his body and turns round in his warm and cosy bed, his back to her. He’s careful not to lie on his stomach though.

"But I'm serious," she says.

"So am I," he replies.

...

After he’s fully healed and discharged, he returns to the cemetery; the Corviknight taxi drops him off a few metres away and he taps his way across the Wild Area with Absol and his cane.

When he arrives, he realises the girl is also here.

At first, he ignored her and let her be. He did his daily caretaker duties, watering the plants, pulling weeds and sweeping the tombs.

He didn't know what she was doing here - she probably observed his daily regime - and one day she brought some cleaning supplies with her and began assisting him with the upkeep of the cemetery, especially with some of the heavy lifting.

Today, he’s forcibly awoken when he hears her sweeping the area around the mausoleum and shoving dust everywhere and he grumbles sourly under his breath. He had already told her a few times to go home but she keeps coming back. She keeps coming back to clean, to lurk around the graveyard, to help him.

“Stop that,” he snaps at her, “you’re disturbing them, and I already swept it yesterday.”

She stops dusting at some tombstones. “Sorry, I thought-”

Ezra grumbles, scrubbing at his mangy face with a dirty palm. Reaching for a beer by his calf, he grasps blindly for the can and lifts it to his mouth, downing a sip. “Get over here, kid.”

He hears her stepping towards him and he glances up, looking at this annoyingly bright light before him.

“You really wanna learn that badly, huh?”

“Yes, sir.”

“No need to be so formal, my name is Ezra.” With a heavy sigh, he dusts himself down and stands up, using his cane to support himself. “And I am…or was, the pastor of the Church of Circhester. I was also a member of the International Association of Exorcists. Do you understand who and what you’re dealing with?”

“Yes, sir – I mean, Ezra.”

“Now, tell me who you are and why I should teach you.”

He hears this little gasp of awe before she tells him her predicament. She tells him her name, who she is, where she came from, how old she is.

She rambles at some point and he has to occasionally steer her towards the focal details and periodically, she’ll become flustered, especially when speaking about the night when she saw her father and sister devoured by a Dusknoir. Once she’s finished recounting her tale, he nods.

“It was a demon, right?” she says, though she sounds unsure.

“Probably. Didn't your family have any pokemon?"

"...Sableye and Haunter went missing, and Cutiefly and Sinistea were in PC boxes," she says, "Please teach me. I want to learn."

He studies her quietly, then holds his index finger up in the air. “Fine, but I must warn you: my teachings are difficult and I’ve had several idiots coming up to me just like how you did and they’ve all failed-”

“I'm not an idiot and I won’t fail you.”

“-Yeah, let’s see about that, kid.” Holding up two fingers now, “Second, if I’m to teach you, I want you to swear to me you will take no retribution against Dusknoir. I don’t mind if you want to research one or whatever, but do not take your grudge with the pokemon. It’s nothing to do with it.”

“I understand.”

He moves on to hold up three fingers. “Third, that being said, you cannot use what you learned to harm humans or pokemon in any way. You must use it for good. I can tell you have a gift and under my guidance and training, I believe you will reach your full potential.”

“Okay.”

“Four, I will teach you with the utmost effort and I also expect to receive full commitment from yourself. I will not make do with time-wasters or mediocrity. Do you understand?”

“Yeah.”

“And lastly, promise me you will not in either way, attempt to summon entities for any reason. Do not use Ouija boards, do not dabble in sacrifice, do not try to open any portals. Hell, do not attempt any of those things.”

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

“Now, some of my teachings are limited. I can teach you how to protect yourself and protect others. Are you happy with this, knowing that there are limitations as to what I can teach you?”

“Yes, I am.”

Ezra studies her again before he nods to himself.

He’s said quite a lot but he knows she understands. “Good,” he murmurs.

“So…when do we start?”

“We start now.”

He disappears inside the mausoleum and re-emerges with a dirty rucksack; he pulls out a tattered old journal along with an old, portable cassette player which he hands to her.

“Your first task is to read this and listen to the tapes. Learn the symbols, learn the prayers. Come back whenever you’re ready and show me what you got.”

“Got it.”

She comes back in five days, which was a lot earlier than he had expected considering his previous ‘disciples’ either came back in a week or two, and some barely returned in person, opting to hand his book and tape back by leaving it at the gates.

He hears her approaching and sits up whilst Absol sleeps in a corner, and she says, “I finished it.”

“What did you think?”

“It was interesting.“

“...You didn’t think it was disturbing?”

“No.”

There is a brief silence.

“Hm…not sure if that’s a good or bad thing,” he murmurs under his breath.

The tapes were full of recorded exorcisms, consisting of unearthly screaming, howling and shrieking courtesy of the victims.

He says, “Recite Saint Michael’s prayer to me.”

She does so, with almost near-perfect pronunciation.

Ezra listens intently and nods when she’s finished. “Not bad. Now let’s hear Signum Crucis.”

“In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancta-“

“Sancti,” he corrects her.

“Sancti,” she repeats.

“Not bad. Again.”

She recites the short prayer once more, this time with no errors.

“Gloria Patri,” he grunts out next, grabbing his beer and flipping the lid off.

And they continue going through some prayers until it’s almost sunset and she’s a little exhausted and he’s finished his pack of beer.

“You did well, kid. Come back tomorrow.”

“Really???”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you!!”

“Don’t thank me yet. I’ll be testing you on the symbols and their meanings. Then there’s a final test.”

“Okay!” she exclaims excitedly, and after exchanging some short words, she bids him farewell and he hears her leaving, her footsteps echoing loudly in the quiet graveyard.

The next day, she returns and passes the symbols assessment with flying colours as he had expected considering how quickly she’d picked up the Latin prayers.

And the next day after that, he teaches her how to use talismans.

As the weeks roll by, he continuously subjects her to tests on latin prayers and symbology. Then he teaches her some blood magic.

Soon, weeks turns to months, and she’s picked up a lot of his teachings in a short period of time, which impresses him greatly.

She begins to accompany him on exorcisms which undoubtedly at the beginning, does disturb her a little but the more she sat in and watched (and sometimes assisted with), the more she began to see such things as a normality and he also allows her to work on her own cases albeit under some guidance.

Before he knows it, he has transformed this little girl into an exorcist.

“Well done, kid. You’ve exceeded all my expectations. I’m proud of you," he says with a nod of his head.

She cheers, but then remembering her tutelage, she bows deeply with gratitude, eyes closed. “Thank you, Ezra. I wouldn’t be where I am now if it weren’t for you,” she replies, “what’s the final test?”

“Final test?”

“Yeah, you mentioned it a while ago.”

“….Hm, so I did,” he says, before he gets off the steps, dusting at his palms and weak knees. “Let me show you something. Come on, Absol.”

He motions her to follow him and he heads to two marked graves near a statue of a weeping angel which is covered in a sparse layer of moss.

She joins his side and she scans the names etched on the stone. One name in particular stands out. “Cassie??” she murmurs, before she casts a glance to the pokemon that stands by his side.

Absol looks up, and regards her with its steely blue eyes.

“My wife and daughter,” Ezra murmurs, his white gaze staring emptily into space. “This is a dark path. There will always be death. This is my final warning to you: if you choose to walk this path, be prepared to lose everything. Is this something you can do?”

There is a brief silence until she says, “Yes.”

Ezra hesitates; she observes him for any noticeable reaction but he is immobile, standing stiffly with his hands clasped together in front of him.

“...Very well," he utters. "Come with me.”

“Where to?”

“You’ll see when we get there.”

He hasn’t left the cemetery other for reasons than to go to the soup kitchen or to buy his beer and cigarettes, so he asks her to call for a Corviknight taxi since he doesn’t have a Rotom phone.

When the taxi arrives, he asks the driver to take them to the Dusty Bowl and they’re dropped off at the outskirts.

“Why are we here?” she asks, but he ignores her and begins to head for the desolate path.

She trails after him and despite being blind, she’s stunned to see that he seems to be aware a great deal of where he’s going. A sandstorm begins to rage but Ezra is unaffected and continues to wander down the plains, using his cane to avoid any obstacles such as rocks, trees or tall grass. Whilst she tries to cover her eyes, blinking through sand and grit, she helps him along the way of course, but he doesn’t seem to require her assistance at all.

Occasionally, wild pokemon will peek at them from behind the dry and crusty grass but they don’t dare to approach.

She glances around with much wariness as he leads her further and further away from the winding path, the barren wastelands, the dead trees and soon, he has led her into oblivion.

The sandstorm worsens and as she looks left, right and up, she cannot see a single damn thing in front of her; if she did not keep her gaze pinned on the ghostly silhouette of her mentor tottering in front of her a short feet away, she was certain she would have lost her way.

“Ezra, be careful!” she yells above the loud winds and the whirling sands.

“I’ll be fine,” he says, though his voice is hard to hear.

Her nerves begins to eat at her and they’ve been walking for seems like an eternity and she isn’t even sure if they’re still in the Dusty Bowl or the gym challenger’s path anymore, perhaps they’ve moved onto the Giant’s Mirror or the Stony Wilderness, but the sandstorm is endless and she calls after him once more.

“Ezra, where are you taking me?”

“Keep moving, we’re almost there,” he grunts at her in response.

Her question is finally answered when he stops in his path and grows still, holding out his arm.

“Wait.”

She watches him, listening, but nothing happens.

“Okay, come over here.”

There is a bad feeling in her gut as she sidles up to him and to her utmost surprise, the sandstorm begins to subside, revealing a large cenote before them.

Her eyes widen.

He’s standing at the very edge, his foot shoving some rocks and dust into the large pit before them; if he had taken one step further, he would’ve fallen inside. She looks around in shock. The sandstorm had disappeared in a blink of an eye, instead it had been replaced with a lingering misty fog that surrounded them. She knew the Wild Area was erratic but this weather was abnormal to the extreme.

Her shocked gaze strays to the blind man. His glazed eyes are focused in front of him, oblivious to the deep.

“I want you to go in there,” he says.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes,” he mutters. “You can take the stairs.”

He nudges his head to the right where a spiralling ‘staircase’ consisting of huge, mismatched slabs of rocks sticking out from the walls of the pit appear to offer a way down inside.

“Do you wish to turn back?” he asks, sensing her hesitation.

“No.”

“I’ll be right behind you.”

She nods and steps towards the first rock, which is dusty and covered with yellowing grass, and she uses one foot to test out the footing, giving it a few stern prods with her toes. The rock seems stubborn enough and once she deems it safe, she makes her way down.

It’s steep and she carefully tackles each step one by one, having to hold onto some dry vines that dangle and stick out of the edges of the wall until she arrives at the bottom of the pit.

Looking up and around, the sky is painted a strange and ethereal purplish, blue glow… perhaps from the aurora borealis, though she’s never seen it warp into this sort of shade before. Usually it is a streak of colours in the night sky…neither a star can be seen in sight either.

She also realises the pit isn’t as deep as she thought. She’s fairly certain gym challengers would never find this place nor would anyone in the right mind would even want to go in here.

She steps closer towards the middle of the pit, her feet crunching under gravel and stones, and stares at the walls of the pit.

There is an entrance, resembling a zigzagged slit in the wall. It’s big enough for a lone individual to slip inside but that’s just about it. She cannot see what’s inside; it is far too dark.

“Is this a pokemon den?” she asks, gesturing to the entrance.

“No.”

Her mentor’s voice sounded very close; she promptly turns to see Ezra hobbling behind her. “That was quick.”

“Give me a second,” he mutters as he brushes past her and steps towards the large and gaping hole in the wall, stopping just a foot or so away. “Stay there and don’t move, don’t make a sound.”

She goes silent, and she did not dare to peel her eyes away from the cave entrance where a figure is emerging from within.

A withered-looking Lucario with a greying muzzle and dirty golden fur steps outside and into the pit, wielding a wooden staff that is as tall as itself. It's what trainers coin as a 'shiny' pokemon, and these pokemon are extremely rare, especially in the wild. Puzzled, she watches as the pokemon greets her mentor.

Ezra's mouth moves but she cannot hear what he’s saying.

Then he stops and Lucario nods, and the man and pokemon turn to glance at her direction.

She strains to hear what they could possibly be conversing yet there is nothing, not even a pokemon cry, not the slightest rustle of the wind. Nothing.

It is silent.

The silence is suffocating to say the least and eventually, Lucario nods his head after the prolonged period of stillness. The pokemon turns and returns into the cave, disappearing into the darkness.

Placing his cane on the ground in front of him, he balances his palms over the handle. “Lucario has granted you entry.”

“…What?” she asks, a little anxiously.

Inhaling silently, Ezra replies, “There are greater things in our universe, greater than you and me. Even greater than pokemon.”

“What’s going on? What is a Lucario doing all the way out here? Where’s his trainer?”

“He doesn’t have one. This is his home,” Ezra mutters. “Now listen carefully. This is Gossamer Cave. A relic can be found here. A long time ago, I used it to destroy a demon that terrorised my wife and child. However, it is a highly dangerous weapon and you have to be ready to wield it, to understand its power and origins. If this is something you want, then you must go inside and fetch it.”

There are questions buzzing aplenty in her mind. “What does it look like?”

“You’ll know when you see it. My question for you is, do you wish to wield such a weapon? You might not like what you find out.” He mutters, before stepping aside, allowing her entry regardless of her response, regardless if she goes in or not.

She bites down on her lip anxiously but he does not offer any further words, no further advice or warning. She ponders to herself briefly, thinking about her parents, her sister and how they are all depending on her. Although she is nervous, she must cast aside these sinking feelings and surpass. She must be brave when no-one else is, when no-one else can. She must do it for them.

"I'm going in," she declares, and she passes him and enters the cave without further ado.

It’s dark.

She's greeted with the hypnotic splash of water dripping from the ceiling onto the floor and the marauding howl of the wind from outside that echoes and slips through the cave.

Lucario sits on a large rock to the left with the wooden staff balanced over its paws. It’s eyes are closed, deep in meditation. As she passes by, it does not acknowledge her presence.

Expecting Zubats or some other types of cave-dwelling pokemon, she’s stunned to see it is devoid of any other critter except from the aura pokemon.

A linear path lies ahead but she hits a dead-end.

Confused, she pats the wall in front of her, looking up and around. She checks for any cracks, any hidden passages. She checks every nook and cranny and leaves no stone upturned. She raps her knuckles over the walls, hoping for a hollow thud, a secret trap door perhaps?

There is nothing.

Disappointed and perplexed, she returns to the entrance.

“There’s nothing there," she says.

“I see. Then it’s not time yet. You still need more training, kid. You have a long way to go.” Ezra replies, unsurprised.

“I really don’t understand.”

“When you hear it, you will.”

“Hear what?”

“Tell me when you do, okay?”

Frustrated, she says, “Stop being so cryptic! What’s in the cave? What’s this relic?”

“You’ll find out when you’re ready. For now, forget what you saw and focus on your training. Focus on getting better, then you can come back.”

“Fine.”

Slipping his hands into the pockets of his withered coat, he begins to leave. She follows him with a sigh, mostly out of exasperation. Before she leaves however, she tosses a quick glance over her shoulder towards the abyss.

She was expecting to see something, maybe a shadow or a little flicker of light, maybe Lucario would come out again.

However, there is nothing.

...

Present.

You’ve grown quiet.

Leon watches as your brows scrunch with confusion, your expression souring. “What’s wrong?”

“Gossamer Cave,” you utter, before you grab his arm and exclaim loudly, “Gossamer Cave! That's it, Leon!"

Releasing him, you stand up, rush up the stairs and towards the bookshelves; he follows, watching you stop at a random shelf before you speedily skim through the books on the shelf, inspecting the titles quickly.

“Aha,” you murmur under your breath, pulling out a thick and burly red book from its place; it is an atlas of the Wild Area.

You beckon him over as you open the book, unfolding it to its full proportion over the floor. It’s not the most updated map but it’ll do for now.

Leon squats down beside you as you flip through the pages.

“Ezra took me to a place called Gossamer Cave ages ago. I can’t believe I forgot all about it. We took a Corviknight taxi, got off at the Dusty Bowl and we walked for a long time and there was a sandstorm, and then all of a sudden he stopped at a large pit. I’m supposed to tell Ezra when I start hearing things. He was so cryptic I didn’t understand what he meant back then but now I do. I can understand Gengar; I can hear what he says. That’s what Ezra meant. Leon, I’m ready.”

“Ready?” he murmurs, as you finally pinpoint the location on the map and begin scouring the page.

You nod. “I’m ready to face it -- whatever it was that took my family away. I can fight it now. I just need to find Gossamer Cave.”

Leon’s expression is a conflicted one. “When the officials mapped out the Wild Area for the gym challenge, they never found any place called Gossamer Cave.”

“It must be there, I saw it with my own eyes. It was a cenote, but there was this entrance that led to a cave and I went in. It was guarded by a Lucario, and a shiny one too,” you reply, “I need to find it. There’s something there, and it will help me.”

…

Meanwhile, in Greyson’s cemetery, Absol has been biting and tugging at his coat all night, in a vain effort to force him to get up and leave. She has sensed something. However, Ezra merely chills on the steps, drinking his beer and she gives up, having grown rather weary, and has settled to curl up next to him. It’s then his ears pick up the sounds of footsteps a distance away.

The footsteps stop; a lone individual stands a foot away from him.

“Hello, you must be the exorcist of Greyson’s cemetery,” says a distorted, muffled voice. "Remember me?"

The voice is unrecognisable. Ezra inhales deeply, scrunching the beer can under his fist. “…Something I can help you with?”

“Yes,” the voice leers. “You can die right here and now!”

A massive unseen force promptly smashes the steps of the mausoleum in half, sending stone and debris flying into the air; it stands, retracting its claws with a grin as the dust clears away, before peeking left and right.

Ezra has disappeared.

“Where are you,” it hisses with a chuckle as it lifts up rocks and debris, flinging them to the side and digging its claws into the earth, cackling with mirth, “Where are you, exorcist?? Come out, come out, wherever you are. I won't hurt you - much.”

A growl emits from behind and captures its attention; as it turns, it is swiftly knocked off its feet as a white and black blur slams into its body and sends it flying into a cluster of tombstones. Absol lands on her paws with a growl as Ezra appears from behind the fountain, unharmed.

“Good job, Absol,” he murmurs, his eyes narrowing at the entity that struggles to get up. “Percutiet.”

Sending a talisman at its direction, the little paper automatically attaches itself to the entity’s head and administers a painful shock. The entity roars with pain briefly before erupting into a fit of hoarse, mocking laughter.

“I know it’s you, Spiritomb,” Ezra says. "Use Slash.”

Absol’s attack connects with a loud thump and all goes still. Shortly, a harrowing shriek of pain shatters the silence. Ezra recalls the talisman; it disappears into thin air in little wisps and the man sprawled over the tombstones grunts and groans as he sits up, rubbing his injured chest in agony.

“Huh? What…? Where am I? What happened…? Um, what am I doing here…?” he mutters, disoriented.

...

[hellomynameisbisexual]

5 Ways That Bi Erasure Hurts More Than Just Bisexual People

December 2, 2014 by Milo Todd

This year, Bisexual Awareness Day/Celebrate Bisexuality Day was on September 23rd.

That same day, the National LGBTQ Task Force thought it’d be a good idea to post an article entitled “Bye Bye Bi, Hello Queer,” in which leadership programs director Evangeline Weiss said “she is ready ‘to say bye bye to the word bisexuality.’

She said it does not describe her sexual orientation, and she encouraged readers to cease using the word as well as she felt it reinforced a binary concept of gender.

Let me drive that home a little more. The National LGBTQ Task Force not only thought it would be a good idea to publish an article insulting, misrepresenting, and forsaking the bisexual letter in their own name, but did so on Celebrate Bisexuality Day.

Rude.

And a fantastic example of the constant, ongoing erasure bisexual people have to deal with. This one just happened to be incredibly blatant.

What happened as a result of that article? People got pissed.

People got so pissed that the Task Force not only removed the article from their website, but posted in its place this non-apology (it keeps being referred to as an apology, but I’m not so easily pleased): “Having listened to a wide array of feedback on the timing and content, we recognize that this blog offended people. For this we sincerely apologize. It has been removed.”

In other words, “Sorry you got pissed off. Hopefully you’ll shut up if we take it down.” Which, as far as I can tell, isn’t much of an apology for a blatant disregard of an entire community of people.

Misunderstanding of the bisexual community has been the crux of biphobia’s history and the ongoing battle to erase bisexuality from the LGBTQIA+ community.

It’s a scary time to be bi, especially when your lesbian, gay, pansexual, and queer siblings and allies are calling for your blood simply because they’ve fallen victim to the mainstream agenda without realizing it. (Say what?! Jump to #5.)

It’s time for a change.

It’s time for all of us to properly understand one another and to — hope of hopes — become allies for our incredibly similar endeavors. To help initiate that friendship, I ask you, dear reader, to go through the following three steps.

Step 1: Look below. If I’ve played my cards right, virtually every reader should find at least one category with which they identify.

Step 2: Approach your designated section(s) with an open mind, an unprejudiced heart, and a desire to further enhance your own community/ies. It’s difficult for people to learn new things and see different views if they automatically approach them with resistance, which is often the case with bisexual topics.

Step 3: See how bi erasure hurts you as a person and, while you’re at it, likely hurts the people you care about. Because it really is happening.

So here are five ways in which bi erasure is hurting people of layered identities.

1. Female-Identified People and Feminists

Bisexuality is one of the only non-monosexual* identities currently recognized in the English-speaking world. If bisexuality is kept underground, it suppresses our limited, precious resources for open discussion about non-monosexuality. This hurts female-identified people and feminists regardless of their sexual orientation.

To this day, female-identified people can’t get a fair shake. Pay is unequal, birth control access is limited, and objectification is a daily thing. Non-monosexual women in particular are often not taken seriously because they’re seen as sluts, greedy, or unable to make up their minds.

Also, the general fetishizing of women is particularly intensified in the bisexual realm by (straight-identified) men, turning the very act of women’s sexual freedom, empowerment, and self-expression into nothing more than something for male gazes. (This is most often seen through the relentless prompts for female-female-male threesomes and masculine catcalls in bars when two femme-appearing women make out.)

By participating in or casually allowing bi erasure to happen, we’re ignoring the specific plights and abuses of bisexual women, thereby contributing to the ongoing problem of female inequality, objectification, and silence.

As feminists, we can’t pick and choose which women to fight for. The complexities of womanhood — and all of its cultural suppressions — are an all-or-none deal.

*Note: Non-monosexuality usually refers to someone who is interested in more than one sex or gender. (In other words, somebody who isn’t gay, lesbian, or straight.) Another way to say “non-monosexuality” would be “polysexuality” to help keep it from sounding negative.

2. Male-Identified People and Male Liberationists*

Just like with female-identified people and feminists, bi erasure hurts male-identified people and male liberationists regardless of their sexual orientation.

Allow me to make this pretty basic: Men continue to be fed the message that being gay is bad. Being gay means you’re not really a man, which means you lose your dude membership and the bulk of your male privilege. And since gayness equals the slightest shred of attraction to or intimacy with another male, all manners of bromance must be squashed.

In short, many guys live in a state of silent terror in this regard.

Bi men are afraid of being banished from the world of lady-loving, gay men are worried about losing all of their connections to hetero land, and nothing is worse for a straight man than being called a fag.

Constant monitoring, constant filtering, constant stress: Is this really the kind of world we guys want to keep living in?

By being able to talk about bisexuality — remember: one of our only non-monosexual identities — male-identified people can begin to break free from the masculine ideal.

Bi talk helps bridge the gap between being a man (straight) and not being a man (gay) and realizing, hey, having some manner of attraction to or intimate interaction with another guy is totally okay, masculinity unscathed.

Gay men can begin to regain their identities as men, bi men can finally start coming out, and “fag” will lose its strength as an insult from one straight man to another.

*Note: Male liberationists are more or less seen as allies to feminists and vice versa. Both will argue that patriarchy is bad, but while feminists talk of how it’s bad for females, male liberationists talk of how it’s bad for males. Examples include the inability to romantically or sexually love another male, the emasculation of men of color, and the physical, verbal, and mental abuse that comes from society’s expectations to be stereotypically masculine.

3. People Who Identify as Trans Sexual, Trans Gender, Genderfluid, Genderqueer, or Gender Non-Conforming

This one’s pretty easy. Some people on the trans spectrum identify as bisexual. But then they’re told they can’t or that it’s an insult to their trans siblings because bisexuality is believed to be trans-exclusive.

The problem with bi erasure is it adds to the ongoing problem of cis people — LGQ or not — telling trans people what to think. Cis people have a bad habit of thinking they need to speak for people on the trans spectrum even when trans people are quite capable of speaking for themselves. This is even more frustrating when it comes from a community supposedly meant to support them.

Despite the personhood for which they’re continuing to fight, trans people can receive backlash from the lesbian, gay, and queer communities as their identities and bodies are turned into political battlegrounds.

Sometimes, they’re used without consent by some cis individuals so that points can be made for non-trans-specific agendas, and sometimes they’re ironically used in the attempts for cis identities to help better the trans worlds.

For instance, automatically dismissing bisexuality as trans-exclusive and guilting any person on the trans spectrum that wants to identity as bisexual, if I may make so fine a point.

As blogger Aud Traher writes, “If you want to support trans people like me, don’t erase me or speak over me or cause me harm out of self-righteous biphobia. Look into yourself and deal with that internalized biphobia and then help others get over theirs. Don’t advocate for the destruction of a community in the name of ‘saving’ it. And, especially, don’t do it in my name.”

4. People Who Identify as Gay, Lesbian, or — Yes — Straight

Quite simply, it makes gays and lesbians (and straight people) look bad, too.

Bisexual people get a bad rap for apparently upholding the gender binary by saying they love only (cis) men or (cis) women, but isn’t that pretty much exactly what gays, lesbians, and straight people are saying when they identify as gay, lesbian, or straight? That they’ll only love either (cis) men or (cis) women?

But where’s their rampant backlash from the rest of the community for upholding the gender binary? I’m just sayin’.

Even when these groups extend their definitions to include trans people and people on the gender non-conforming spectrum, it’s often still as long as those trans people exhibit some manner of gender representation that falls into the lover’s category of desire.

Now, I’m honestly not trying to rag on gays, lesbians, or even straight people. They have as much right to identify how they want as anybody else. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling primarily attracted to only, say, cis or trans men if your brain simply tells you that you only like guys. That’s fine. Go ahead and do that. I’m not saying you can’t.

What I am saying is you can’t be spewing bi hate or letting bi erasure slide because 1) it’s incredibly one-sided and unfair, and 2) in the end, it’s making you look bad, too.

What do you think will happen if bi erasure is a success? You’ll be next, dears.

*cue Jaws theme*

5. People Who Identify as Queer, Pansexual, or Another Fellow Non-Monosexual

In late October, Lizzy the Lezzy — who I quite enjoy, by the way — shared a photo on her Facebook timeline explaining sexuality in terms of guests at a BBQ.

This would be all well and good if it didn’t include a glaring misconception about bisexual people, especially when compared to pansexuals. While bisexual people were defined as getting both hot dogs and hamburgers, pansexuals were defined as getting hot dogs, hamburgers, “and a salad.” Oops. What year is this again?

I’m going to make something very plain to you, dear reader: Bisexual people don’t just love (cis) men or (cis) women. That’s not how the ballpark definition goes. The “bi” in “bisexual” does not indicate a binary. Well, okay, it does indicate a binary, but probably not the one you think.

Instead of “bi” meaning a love for only cis men or cis women or otherwise putting men and women at two opposite ends of a spectrum, “bi” means a love for identities bisexual people identify with themselves and identities that they don’t.

Or, as the popular Robyn Ochs definition goes: “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”

Look at that very closely. That’s still a binary. That’s still “bi.” And there isn’t a thing wrong with it, no exclusion to be seen.

When compared with the general concepts of pansexuals and queers, our orientations suddenly sound pretty darn similar: We love everyone.

Bisexual people get a bad rap for apparently being transphobic. While we’ve already seen a little bit in #3 as to why we aren’t, I want to further drive the point home here. A large portion of the transphobic accusations toward us come from the queer and pansexual communities, which in turn seem to derive from some serious misinformation and misdirection by the mainstream.

For the record, queers and pansexuals are cool. I like them. But the fact of the matter is that the misconception of the “bi” in “bisexual” as meaning an attraction to only (cis) men or (cis) women — and therefore upholding the gender binary — was created and imposed upon bisexual people by the mainstream. You know, the people that want the gender binary to stick around.

And some queers and pansexuals ate the propaganda they were fed? That’s terrifying. It starts to show just how large and sneaky the mainstream’s gender binary monster truly is.

By defining and erasing bisexuality on the grounds that it upholds the gender binary, pansexuals and queers are not only reinforcing the binary they so sorely wish to dismantle, but they are losing important focus on where the problem actually resides: the mainstream’s insistence to force the gender binary on non-mainstream groups such as bisexual people.

Further, holding bisexual people responsible for the abuse they’ve suffered is simply wrong. All that’s doing is blaming the victim. But, by recognizing and respecting bisexual people as they truly are, bisexual people can not only help dismantle the gender binary and put a new definition on the concept of the spectrum, but finally be allowed to team up with pansexuals and queers to crush mainstream abuse on non-mainstream identities.

Doesn’t that sound nice? I think it sounds nice.

TL;DR

Dear non-bisexual identities, please stop shooting yourselves in the foot and then wondering why you’re missing toes.

We’re here for the same reasons you are: for the right to love whoever we want and for the right for others to do the same.

So let’s finally be friends. We’re never going to get anything done if we keep spending our time putting each other down.

[onestowatch]

Artists on Their Favorite and Least Favorite Animal Crossing Villagers

In the world of hard-hitting journalism, few topics are as divisive and polarizing as Animal Crossing, namely the subject of best and worst villagers. From tier lists to spending an obscene amount of Nook Miles tickets in the search of the “perfect” villager, the release of Animal Crossing: New Horizons has brought with it a seedy blackmarket. Want a smug office working cat with heterochromia? Well, I hope you are prepared to shell out upwards of 20 million bells. 

From Queer Eye’s Bobby Berk critiquing players’ virtual homes to Elijah Wood sliding in your DMs to sell turnips, seemingly no one is safe from this newfound reality. So, as we navigate our way through a world in which Bobby isn’t pleased with my island home having a room dedicated solely to turnip storage, we posed one impossible question to a few of our favorite artist friends. “Who is your favorite and least favorite Animal Crossing villager?”

BENEE

"I don’t like Moose because he only ever wants to talk to me about working out, and I don’t like how he calls me shorty! Katt is probably my favourite because she seems interested in having a chat when I approach her."

Griffin McElroy

“Roald is my favorite Animal Crossing villager by an enormous margin, and was the first creature I tracked down once I got my hands on New Horizons. He’s a penguin who falls into the ‘jock’ category, despite the fact that he’s usually chilling in his igloo-house with a sandwich or a cold one in hand. He cares very much about my sick gains, and I appreciate it to no end.

My least favorite villager is Zucker, who is an octopus that most other players seem to love, but boy, he's challenging. His head resembles takoyaki, which is to say, a fried dough ball filled with minced octopus, impaled on a stick and drizzled with brown sauce. What dark magics breathed life into Zucker? Should I want to eat him? Because I kind of do, and I don't need that energy on my island, thanks.”

Dayglow

“Favorite has to be Sparro by far, like woah! He’s so freaking chill. Least favorite was easily Zipper— good riddance. He had such creepy unwelcome vibes.”

mxmtoon

"My favorite Animal Crossing Villager is Stitches because I think he looks like the funniest and he really likes bugs. He lives on a dirt floor, he's an airplane king, and, despite all odds, has flourished and thrived in his life. I don't even know if I have a least favorite but if I had to pick it would be Pate, she's a duck and just really rude. Her eyebrows also look like W's.”

Cavetown

“Villagers can be a very controversial topic in the Animal crossing community. There seems to be two types of people when it comes to villager preferences - the ones who just love them all equally, and the ones who unapologetically have an overwhelming hatred for specific animals in the game. I’m of course totally against bullying in most cases, but animal crossing villagers are the one exception. 

I won’t name names about the ones I hate in the game as not to hit any nerves for anyone reading, but for example there’s this one resident I have - let’s just say her name rhymes with Banberra - who has being going around pissing off all my best friends in town. She leaves my sweet Sydney and Marina walking around furious for no good reason. I’ve been trying to bully her out of my town but she’s been there since the beginning and seems adamant on staying. She’s my least favourite right now because of how she’s been treating my other villagers.

As for favourites, I could go on forever!! In my current town, Poncho was one of my first two villagers and I decided we’re best buds. He’s a jock villager so is always talking about pumping iron, and I love him so much that I built a whole outdoor gym for him in my town. I tend to unconditionally love the Octopus and Frog villagers. He doesn’t really count as a villager, but my favourite character in the whole game is Leif. I would literally put my life on the line if it meant his flowers would bloom perfectly.”

chloe moriondo

“Pietro is my favorite ACNH villager even though I don’t have him on my island (yet)!!!!!  I think he gets a lot of hatred thrown his way for being a clown, which I personally relate to, and he is colorful and cute and fun and sheepy and I would lay down my life for him. He is by far my favorite villager since I got him in my town in New Leaf.

My least favorite villager is Moose, even though I weirdly still respect him for being so ugly and notorious amongst the ACNH community. In fact, I would almost call myself a fan of him just because of how gross and hilarious I think his little manly mouse face is. I would not want him in my town ever, but I am an advocate of Ugly ACNH Villagers’ Rights so I wouldn’t hit him with a net or be mean to him if he were to visit. (Would NOT ask him to move in though.)”

Jorge (Peach Tree Rascals)

“My personal favorite character is (not surprisingly) K.K Slider. Any dog with that much swag and music playing ability deserves all the love and respect in the world. As for my least favorite it’d probably have to be Pietro. Something about a creepy clown like that just doesn’t sit right with me, It’s just so creepy looking. An honorable mention would be Papi the horse, simply because his name is Papi. Like c’mon that’s hilarious! Plus his dreams of being a comic book writer remind me of when I wanted to be a comic artist when I was much younger.”

Almondmilkhunni

“I like Goldie the most because she’s just super cute. And I dislike Moose, because I hate his eyebrows. He’s a little rat weirdo.”

khai dreams

“I love Roald. He is a weird little beady-eyed dude, but I adore him. He was one of the villagers in my town back when I played Animal Crossing on the GameCube. Penguins were my favorite animal at the time, so I was so happy when he moved in. He is just a dumb little baby and I love him for it. Bonus fav character is Coco. She is just so weird and creepy and cute. She is my wife. She will be my wife. 

My least favorite villager is Colton. F Colton!! He showed up in my camp and wouldn't leave until I let him live in my village. I report him every day to Isabelle, but it seems to make no difference. In his biography it says his skill is ‘Writing about pickles;’ what the hell? stfu Colton. Write about pickles in someone else's town!!!”

[littlemisssquiggles]

Hello! Long time no see! I read your Cinder the Red Queen theory, and it's really cool! Cinder is one of my favorite characters (even if I don't watch RWBY anymore) and it would be really awesome to see Cinder play a really big role, besides "revenge on Ruby". Although, I am personally more of a Cinder Redemption Arc fan. So, hypothetically, if Cinder were to get one such redemption arc, how do you think it would play out?

Hiya Yellow! Yeah it has been a while. Sorry I took so long to get back to you. Slowly working through my backlog of posts inside my inbox. Anyways, how have you been fam? And in the literal immortal words of one Oscar Pine, wait…WHAT! When did you stop watching RWBY? ! D8

What happened? If you don’t mind me asking, how come you’re not watching anymore? Is it because you just fell out of love with the series as a whole after being disappointed with its current direction or did all the discourse surrounding the show (and by extension RT as well) drive you to stop?

Sad to hear you’re no longer in the FNDM man. But on a different note, allow me to say thank you! Knowing that you’re a Cinder fan, I’m happy to hear that you liked my Red Queen headcanon for her. Much appreciated.

And yes, I do remember you being an advocate for Cinder’s redemption as well. In response to writing a Cinder redemption arc, I’m gonna be frank. 

Given the way the canon has portrayed Cinder’s character, both in previous seasons and currently, redemption is still the last thing I can envision for your favourite Fall Maiden m’dude. I’ve never seen Cinder getting redeemed as a possibility since to me, the show hasn’t shown enough evidence of her being empathetic to anyone else other than herself to make me believe there’s a chance for her to change for the greater good.

The only way I can picture Cinder going is either she is given the Adam Taurus treatment---unceremoniously killed off despite the series keeping her relevant to the story for so long or…Cinder survives long enough to rise up and see herself becoming the all-powerful entity she desires to be---ultimately walking out of Salem’s shadow to overthrow her and replace her as the Red Queen and succeeding within a short time what Salem has failed to do for centuries---thrusting Remnant into utter anarchy in the form of a second Great  War sparked by one of the kingdoms (possibly Mistral) declaring war against the remaining three kingdoms hoping to conquer them all after learning that the great Atlas Kingdom has fallen along with the former Mantle.

One kingdom to rule them all and this was all done through Cinder puppeteering her pawns in the Mistral Council through her newly awakened abilities after finally succumbing to the Geist Grimm and becoming something more than human--- a Grimm with a soul and a conscience. A Grimm-human hybrid or Grimmoire as I’d like to say.

Instead of being redeemed, I more favour the idea Cinder becoming a bigger threat to Remnant than Salem who I peg would be defeated, purified of her darkness (courtesy of Ruby’s silver eyes) and stripped of any magic that she had, courtesy of Cinder betraying her.

Cinder’s whole “…Without you, I am nothing” statement from the trailer is just giving me huge red flags for her to eventually realize that she can probably do better than Salem without her holding her back. The student does eventually become the master, right? So why not expect Cinder to replace Salem as the main big antagonist of RWBY with her reign being the true threat of Remnant in a time of war?

I really, really like the idea of the main conflict of RWBY not being the war with Salem but the rise of Cinder Fall and the second Great War of Remnant. I think such a plotline would be cool especially looking back on the fact that Oz had told General Ironwood that he prayed that his students---the children whose futures and development were entrusted to him---would never have to face the pains and strife of war like his predecessor: King Phadrig of Vale, once did long ago.

It would actually be very compelling to watch our heroes attempting to survive a dire time when the world was divided with two of its founding kingdoms in shambles while one tried to conquer them all (Mistral) and another daring to defend them all (Vacuo). The first Great War lasted ten years. Imagine if…it were the same for the second with time fast-forwarding to another period ten years later when all of our young heroes were now grown adults. No longer naïve children enamoured by the huntsmen lifestyle but seasoned warriors doing what they could to help the people in a dark world where war raged, humanity pleaded for their salivation and the Grimm feasted.

That could’ve been nice. But…I’m getting ahead of myself here. I’m not sure if anything like that will actually happen in the show. Still it’s good to share the idea around.

Going back to Cinder, like I said---right now I can’t see a redemption arc for Cinder.

As I said, the core reason why I’ve never been for Cinder being a redeemable character is due to the fact that up until this point, the series has done very little to establish her having any positive qualities. Cinder has sadly been selfish through and through making it very clear multiple occasions that she’s only out for herself. For me to have pictured Cinder to be a redeemable character, the series would’ve need to introduce a sort of “buffer character”---for lack of a better term. Basically when I say a buffer character, I mean in terms of a character who could’ve acted as a sort of foil to Cinder---seeing through her power-hungry nature and faults and thus revealing to the audience a much more relatable, sympathetic and emotionally vulnerable side to her through her relationship with said buffer.

The best example of this type of dynamic for me in an animated media is the relationship between Prince Zuko and his Uncle Iroh from Avatar the Last Airbender. In that series, Iroh was Zuko’s buffer character---the one person who saw through Zuko’s acts of aggression and appealed to the side of him that was just a insecure young man lacking any real support in his life and wanting nothing more than to do his best to appease an abusive father just so that he can feel a sense of belonging in the world.

It was through his bond with his uncle that I, as a viewer, was able to believe in Zuko’s redemption arc since it was only with Iroh did we see a more open side to Zuko---the side that reminded us that outside of his status as Prince of the Fire Nation leading the charge to capture the Avatar---outside of that, Zuko was only a boy in need of guidance. Guidance that Iroh attempted to provide him on multiple occasions.

Going back to Cinder, this is what I would have needed to make her redeemable. Give her a character who is the only one to see her more vulnerable side. Using what we know about the series, I’d say Emerald Sustrai could’ve easily been Cinder’s buffer. In the show, RWBY already established Cinder as a sort of motherly/sister figure based on Emerald’s perception of her.

Through Emerald, the show could’ve used her close ties with Cinder to show a side to her that we often don’t see. A side that actually cares for Emerald or at least better fools Emerald (and by extension us as the audience) into thinking that she cares. Ironically enough, the show could’ve had Cinder mirror Salem in this regard.

The reason why I’m more of an advocate for Salem’s redemption over Cinder is because UNLIKE Cinder, the show has given me moments of Salem being genuinely kind and caring to others. We saw this with the way she loved Ozma and would’ve done anything to get him back before her self-interest and hatred toward the Brother Gods consumed her.

We saw this in the Lost Fable and to some degree, even though she is another pawn to her, I’d like to think that the way Salem treats Cinder is akin to a mother. My issue with Salem isn’t that she is incapable of caring about others, it’s that no matter what, she will never put them before herself. It will always be her first and others second. At least that’s what I interpreted and it for this reason while her curse will remain.

However at least the show has shown examples of Salem showing compassion towards other. This is something I have yet to see from Cinder Fall. To me, Cinder is lacking that side of her.

Salem is selfish but as strange as this for me to say, I don’t think she’s entirely heartless. It’s kind of complicated when it comes to Salem but this just adds onto why I find her character fascinating. This is what makes the difference for me between her and Cinder and separates the two.

Salem is selfish but is capable of empathy and a surprising amount of mercy in unexpected moments (like in the way she treats Cinder for example. Salem could’ve easily offed Cinder for her failures like how she ended Lionheart but instead she left her be. And judging from the V8 trailer, even as Cinder came grovelling back to her, Salem still seemed to mostly react to Cinder’s return with an air of a strict parent who isn’t angry at their child but more disappointed. And oddly enough she did the same thing with Tyrian back in V4)

Cinder, on the other hand, shares in Salem’s self-centred nature but lacks any kind of compassion. Cinder is heartless.

Sorry Yellow, picturing a redemption arc for Cinder Fall is tough for me, even hypothetically speaking. I mean, if the show had done something with Cinder akin to Zuko---having her gain the power and status she’s always wanted only to have it result in her losing the only good relationship she had in Emerald thus leading to her falling from grace again after realizing her mistakes---then I could see it.

Or…perhaps the show could’ve pulled an Azula type of redemption for Cinder. Have her gain the power she desired at the cost of her own humanity and she loses herself in the process, becoming a monster and realizing her mistakes too late. And in the end, despite everything she’s been through and in spite of all that she put her through, the only person to appear before Cinder in her time of death after falling from her mistakes is Emerald.

I like the irony of Emerald cradling a dying Cinder Fall, choosing even then not to hate her and remain with her until her last dying breathe as her way of finally paying her back for saving her from her former life of poverty; giving her a new sense purpose in life outside of being a street rat.

That could’ve worked, at least me. But again, this is only if the show had further developed Emerald and Cinder’s bond. I genuinely wished the show had explored more of Cinder’s ties to Emerald. This is why I wanted Emerald to be Cinder’s accomplice for Atlas instead of Neopolitan. We could’ve watched Emerald’s character grow further through her separating herself from Salem’s legion and devoting herself entirely to Cinder. We could’ve watched Cinder even entice Emerald with the prospect of her ruling beside Cinder in the new world she would’ve aided her to build for Salem.

At the end of the day, as Emerald implied back in V5, she doesn’t care that much for Salem. The only person of interest to Emerald Sustrai is Cinder so this makes me curious to see what their reunion would be like for V8. I highly doubt Salem just ups and left Emerald, Mercury and Hazel back in the Dark Domain. Unless they were sent off to Vacuo to retrieve the Sword of Destruction, they’re bound to be there with Salem inside of Grimm Monstro so I’m looking forward to seeing the look on Emerald’s face when she realizes to her dismay that in her absence, she had been replaced with Neo.

It would be interesting watching how Emerald deals with this development in addition to seeing where her story goes from here now that her beloved Cinder Fall is back with her but not really with HER, y’know what I’m saying? Perhaps this could lead to Emerald going out of her way to get back onto Cinder’s good side mirroring Cinder attempting to return to Salem’s.

“…Without you, I am NOTHING!” “…I don’t care about Salem but I owe Cinder for EVERYTHING!”

It’ll be a game of watching apprentices regain the faith of their masters as Emerald is Cinder’s apprentice while Cinder is Salem’s. This should be a fun development to observe for next season

…Sorry if I haven’t exactly answered your question Yellow. Truth be told, I don’t have much ideas for how Cinder could be redeemed. However I do stand by my points about Emerald being used to show a different side to Cinder. It’s a shame this wasn’t done much in the canon. But who knows? Maybe something might be done to change that for V8.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2020)

[sebastianshaw]

(Fanfic Friday! It’s Haven and the Shaws. Sorry, I have ideas for the other alt-Marauders too, I feel like kind of a dick for just focusing on my current faves because like...that’s half my issue with Duggan. Of course, unlike Duggan, I’m not a published Marvel writer writing for a mass audience, I’m writing for me and like maybe two other people. Still, gonna try and do something with the others next! But for now, it’s Haven and Sebastian again, and a technically-there-but-asleep Shinobi) It was hardly unusual for either Shaw to find themselves in a power-dampening holding cell by some enemy or another, and Haven was starting to get used to it herself. What was rather unusual about this instance was the motive. It wasn’t personal, nor was it superheroes, and it was NOT about them being mutants or sympathetic to mutants. It was about them being rich. They’d been informed that they’d be made an example of, that their disparate identities apart from being wealthy were ideal to show the masses that it didn’t matter if you were mutant or not, if you were white or not, what your sex or sexuality was, no other additional identity was enough to save you from the metaphorical guillotine as one of the bourgeois ruling class exploiting the proletariat of the world. One could imagine how Shaw had responded to that. Despite the fact Shinobi was an adult who had probably used some of that language himself (albeit less...eloquently) Haven had been compelled to cover his ears.

At the moment though, he was asleep, his head in her lap, exhausted from the manhandling and verbal badgering he’d been subjected to all day. They’d had their clothes torn off and replaced with penitent white scrubs, and been ‘re-educated’ at length, though it didn’t take. It had simply pissed Sebastian off, worn Shinobi out, and Haven...well, she didn’t seem negatively affected at all by the verbal part, she’d listened very attentively and asked questions. She’d been more upset by the clothes tearing though and had asked if she could just voluntarily disrobe in private. Since she was so otherwise cooperative and her issue had seemed not to be with DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT COSTS unlike certain other parties, she was actually allowed. But good behavior, Sebastian had noted, didn’t get her any other preferential treatment. She was still in the same cell as them, and it was one that didn’t have a toilet. Since it had been such a long day, Haven and Sebastian had been almost as quiet as the sleeping Shinobi, the pair just sitting in silence on the floor with their backs against the wall, not opposite each other but not side by side either. If the room had been a square compass, Haven would be against the West, Shaw against the North. Neither had any idea how much time had passed before Sebastian said, “His mother looked at him like that.” Haven didn’t look up, her gaze focused on the ‘him’ in question, but Shaw could see she did smile when she replied, “Well I should hope so.” As one might expect, Shaw merely grunted, “Ridiculous.” “I would hope your mother looked at you like this too,” Haven said. Her tone wasn’t at all snide or needling, it was sincere and sweet like always, but this was also normally not a remark she’d make to anyone, because who knew what kind of relationship someone had with their mother? But in Sebastian’s case, exactly why she said it; she was probing for a reaction she could read. Haven’s empathy and sensitivity gave her a great potential for manipulation, but it was a potential she tried very much not to use. But she also so truly wanted to understand others, including the people whose natures she found most repellent. Them most of all, in fact. She regretted having done this immediately, though, not because Sebastian retaliated, but because she felt it was wrong of her. Sebastian didn’t seem to care though. “I was lucky enough not to have one, or at least, never know her.” “I’m sorry,” Haven said, still looking down at Shinobi, still stroking his hair, and again asked a question she would not normally, “Do you know why?” “No idea, actually,” he said, as casually as if he’d been asked about his preferred potato chip flavor. And to Haven’s surprise, he continued. “I didn’t ask my father. He had enough on his plate. And he was all I needed.” His gaze hardened to a glare. “Don’t start looking at me with any of your sympathy, Ms. Dastoor. I’ve seen what kind of coddling that mothers with eyes like yours do, and it does no one any good in the long run. My father was soft enough on me as it was.” Haven did look up at him, her own smile infuriatingly indulgent, “And what qualifies as soft, Mr. Shaw?” Typical. She always asked for clarification, qualification, how he defined this or that. And always so politely, like she truly wanted to know. Well, he’d tell her. “He never pushed me. But he didn’t need to. I pushed myself. Something I don’t think you would understand.” “I respect my limits” . “I refuse mine.” “And I admire that, Mr. Shaw. I may not admire in what specific manner you do so---or how you inflict that as an expectation on your poor son, but I can appreciate the breaking of any chains, including internal. Perhaps especially internal.” Sebastian did not immediately reply. He just watched her continuing to stroke the sleeping Shinobi’s head. He looked strangely thoughtful. “And what do you think it is I do to my son, Ms. Dastoor?” “I think, in your own way, you want to help him.” Shaw actually looked surprised. He was not a man used to being understood, nor was it something he had ever sought. He was not some dramatic villain lamenting in his lair how no one comprehended his genius/pain/intentions/childhood trauma. He did what he did, and others were contemptuous of it, and when others did see the way he saw the world, they were more contemptuous still. And it had never bothered him. Again, he did not desire to be liked or understood. But he still recognized that it was unusual, and more unusual still---unique, in fact---for someone to recognize without the accompanying contempt, when that person was not the same way that he was. There was no moment of tenderness or the like, no joy in being understood, nothing ridiculous and sentimental like that. Just a moment of recognizing it was peculiar, unusual. But he also knew that no matter how much Haven perceived, she would never really SEE. He got to his feet, took the required two steps to bring him before Haven, and kneeled down. She met his eyes, halting him with her gaze. “Give me my boy,” he said, though he could have simply picked Shinobi up without her permission, torn him from her tender embrace. But he did not, and she did not release Shinobi to him.. She did not hand him over. She held him close, and she continued to hold Sebastian in her gaze, her voice gentle but not yielding. “He is not your boy, Mr. Shaw,” she said, still petting Shinobi’s head, “Nor is he mine. he is his own. Don’t you advocate self-sufficiency?” And then, she stopped stroking Shinobi’s hair. She reached up touched the side of Shaw’s face, the way she did to the other crew members, the way she so often did especially for Shinobi. And Sebastian looked into her gentle, loving, all-forgiving gaze for what seemed a very long, very heavy moment. And he was not sure what he would have done next---stayed still an eternity, jerked backwards as though from a blazing hot branding iron, grabbed Shinobi away, slammed her head into the wall hard enough to crack her skull and bruise her brain--if the cell door hadn’t opened then

[ironforgedrp]

♛   ELAENYS TARGARYEN

↳ details; cisfemale, twenty-three.   ↳ date of birth; 1st of the second month, 483AC.

↳ status; heterosexual, unmarried, no children. ↳ faceclaim; kathryn newton. ↳ hails from; dragonstone. ↳ loyalty; house targaryen and the iron throne.

↳ position/title; lady of house targaryen, lady of dragonstone. ↳ religion; the faith of the seven. ↳ magical ability; dragon dreams. ↳ spoken languages; the common tongue & high valyrian. ↳ reason for being in sunspear; travelling alongside her family and the iron throne.

♛   PERSONALITY

↳ type; the campaigner ( enfp-a ). ↳ alignment; chaotic good. ↳ star sign; aquarius. ↳ positives; scholarly, charitable, enthralling, sagacious. ↳ negatives; inquiring, headstrong, unruly, overemotional.

♛  BIOGRAPHY

↳ family lineage.

cursed. it is what elaenys will answer if asked what she is.

born as the youngest daughter of the dragonstone’s targaryen branch, nothing special was expected of elaenys. of course, she was descendent of an old valyrian house, descendent of the glorius targaryen kings and queens — but she wasn’t a princess. they’ll look upon her, of course they will, but the secondary branch wasn’t so glorious as the one who held the power. but elaenys was a targaryen, born with silver-blonde hair e violet-blue eyes, as fair as a cotton flower. being the youngest of three, she was quite pampered by her parents and the other adults — but she wasn’t expected to be the last.

lonely for almost her childhood — her siblings and cousins were too old to play her childish games — elaenys found comfort in the books. for the early months, she would ask for the maester or a septa to read for her — or even her mother or father, if she found them to be willing to spend some more minutes with her — until she learned how to write and read in the common tongue. when that time arrived, elaenys was unstoppable. she read all the books in dragonstone’s library at least twice, and started to preffer the company of the maesters than of the septas. but she had to attend her lady’s duties — and while she did, her mind would be wandering in the stories she read, hoping to have an adventure of her own, like her ancestors had.

always very applied, elaenys stood out in languages and westerosi history. after all, these were her favourites subjects and the ones that the young dragon, since a young age, was interested in. however, because of that, elaenys became a difficult person to deal with changes and unexpected things. history and languages always had been the way they were — and elaenys thought that her life would be like that, too. younger, she would throw a loud tantrum if things didn’t go as she planned, now, however, her tantrums aren’t so loud — but she shows small signs of irritation like harsh responses and disapproving gazes.

however, growing up, elaenys noticed that her dreams were too childish. she wasn’t born in a great condition — being a woman and a lady of a great house, meant that she would be married off to some lord and secure an beneficial alliance to her family. only if she had been born a boy — she would be like aegon v, traveling all over the kingdom. but elaenys accepted her fate within dragonstone’s gray walls and, sometimes, the red ones of the red keep.

it wasn’t until her seventeenth birthday that elaenys’ curse came. until there, her life had been easy. she could be found in the company of her older sister and mother all day or reading and discussing with the maesters. elaenys loved her father with all of her heart and had a good relationship with her older brother, even if sometimes she found his goals to be too much for his position. however, on the first day of the second month of 500AC, elaenys woke up screaming. the targaryen lady had a strange dream, one that she couldn’t put into properly words. four dragons — two reds, one purple and other green — were flying over her, their eyes too familiar, looking deep into her soul. a desperate roar was heard by elaenys as the purple dragon fell to the ground towards her direction in the open field. in the same year, her aunt, queen victaria, died.

elaenys was desperate when she interpreted her dream as an omen of death. however, she didn’t told a soul about it. she didn’t want to scare anyone — after all, the other three dragons couldn’t mean anything. the targaryen daughter tried to continue her daily activities with normality, but her reading were directed for dragon dreams’ books and targaryens who suffered from it as well. for some years, elaenys felt at peace. the dream didn’t come again, and for a while, she even forgot about it. but, at her nineteenth birthday, she dreamed of the two red dragons had fallen alongside the purple one, remaining only the green flying in the sky. the death of her uncle, the king, and her cousin, the crown prince, were not a surprise for elaenys.

the green dragon haunted her for a year. it appeared in her dreams every single day, and elaenys started to wander who it could be. her father or brother for sure, and that scared her. but the dragon dream came before her birthday, and her father’s death a few weeks before it too. again, she wasn’t surprised. elaenys knew tragedy would came one last time, and she prepared herself for it. yet, she still cried and mourned her father for days. but her nightmares became known by everyone, but she disguised them just as vivid dreams, created by her creative head. it worked for awhile, but soon her maids and mother realized that it was worse than simple nightmares.

the transition of the rule of dragonstone made her uneased. blood is thickier than water, but she knows that with her brother ruling the first targaryen seat and a lannister in the iron throne she’ll be used as a coin of exchange to secure alliances, and now with the split of the kingdoms, used as a way to keep an eye in the new monarchies. the young targaryen wasn’t happy with rhaena’s marriage — she didn’t hate the lannisters, but the iron throne belonged to the targaryens, and only her fmaily was worthy to sit on it. after all, everytime the seven kingdoms had a non-targaryen ruler, it was doomed to to failure. but elaenys would be happy to leave dragonstone — its walls remind her of her dreams, and she’s thankful that they stopped to haunt her. however, in the travel for sunspear, elaenys had a strange feeling — they weren’t the same when she had her dragon dreams, but she’s afraid that tragedy will fall again in the last generation of targaryens.

↳ personality.

with an inquiring nature, elaenys is, sometimes, a difficult person to meddle with. she doesn’t like to take orders from anyone — as a targaryen, she feels superior to the other great houses — and from time to time, disobeys the high lords. she’s a free spirit and dreams of having her own adventures — taking inspirations from aegon v, her greatest role model. as someone that read too much in her free time, elaenys observes things from different points of view and is difficult to deceive. however, she’s an idealistic and is always ready to advocate in favor of the small folk or help them. with people that she trusts, the young dragon is a sweet and lively, speaking too much about her interests.

however, with the dragon dreams, elaenys is quieter. quieter and paranoiac. she’s afraid to have another dream and this fear is showing up in her actions, even if it’s an irrational fear. she wanders from time to time and wonders about the possibilities of what can happen, but when she realizes it, elaenys promptly tries to return to her normal self — the same impatient and cheerful elaenys that her family knew. the targaryen daughter is someone super emotional, and she holds words and grudges easily. her impulsiveness and inquiring nature always bring to elaenys situations that she doesn’t know how to handle — despite being such a smart person, she isn’t well versed in diplomacy and doesn’t know the time to stop talking, sometimes hurting the people that the loves without noticing. the young dragons is also someone that doesn’t apologize easily — she is always sure that she is right, and if the other person is offended, she cannot do anything to help them.

↳ the splitting of the kingdoms.

for someone that only traveled to the capitol, elaenys is excited to be in somewhere new and attend to a summit that will be in the maester’s history books. she wants to experience the dornish lands with everything they have to offer, without worrying for her family safety. however, with a mind as sharp as an assassin’s knife, elaenys is more interested in the political meetings. she isn’t a supporter of king arryk — doing it publicly because of her cousin — and think that either rhaena of one of her older siblings should the ruler of westeros, but she understand why the schism happened. elaenys doesn’t think that the treaties will work — men are too prideful when losing, and losing a great part of your kingdom isn’t something good. she’s afraid that a war will happen just like the last time the seven kingdoms were split, and she knows that her family will be in the middle of it — being in dorne will give elaenys a way to prepare herself when that time comes. however, with her inquiring nature, she may find herself in difficult situations after asking questions she shouldn’t.

  ♛    STATUS:  TAKEN

[rex-shadao]

The Failure of Rey Nobody

I haven’t done a Star Wars analysis or review in a long time.  But with the recent release of Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker and the subsequent details being revealed, I feel it’s a good time to go over what happened in TROS and how it affects the rest of the saga.  Oh, there’s a lot to go over, but I’ll stick with one particular topic that I have an ax to grind on ever since the post-TFA release...

The topic of Rey’s parents and heritage.

As I’ve stated before, this is going to involve MAJOR spoilers from TROS, so please don’t continue reading if you don't want to be spoiled. Let’s begin, shall we?

So it turns out that Rey is actually related to someone important in the Saga.  While parents were nobodies just as Kylo Ren said, her grandfather is not.  And no, it’s not Obi-Wan Kenobi.  It’s Sheev Palpatine.

That’s right. Emperor Sheev Palpatine of the FIRST Galactic Empire aka Darth Sidious aka the BIG BAD of Prequel and Original Trilogies... is the grandfather of Rey.  And here I thought Harry Potter and the Cursed Child revelation was dumb but at least there I can understand how Lord Voldemort could have a child since he at least has a fanatical lover known as Bellatrix Lestrange.  But Palpatine is never shown to have any mistress, not in the films or expanded media.  And his characterization indicates that old Sheev only cares about power and immortality.  Why does he need to produce heirs when he has a powerful Darth Vader and his more powerful offsprings, Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa, to groom for the throne?  That is if he ever wants to give that up.

Regardless of that fact (that’s for another topic), the fact that Rey is revealed to be a Palpatine completely undermines the argument that Rey Random/Nobody advocates preached for the last three years or so.  That making Rey a nobody with unremarkable parents would send a stronger message for the audience and kids.  That making her a Skywalker would somehow imply that you could only be a hero and a Jedi if you came from Force royalty bloodline.  And that revealing that Rey is unrelated to anybody is a “great” subversion of the Luke, I Am Your Father trope.

I don’t know about you, but having Rey be related to the Lucifer of the Force, the most evil man in the galaxy, and the mastermind behind the Empire and the First Order, that is anything but a nobody.  It’s pretty much making her a Skywalker except with none of the actual Skywalker relationship benefits like good family members (Luke, Leia, and Padme) and a dynamic with Kylo Ren that isn’t Reylo.  Oh, I can see all of those TLJ defenders being pissed off about TROS retconning the Rey Nobody reveal and blaming JJ Abrams for “caving” to the angry fans... but honestly, this was inevitable.

Rey Nobody was doomed from the beginning.

Why? Because it offers no real narrative after the revelation.  It’s a meta-subversion that went after a short-gain that wasn’t needed to begin with.  Here are several reasons:

1) The idea of a Nobody becoming a hero or a Jedi is not new in Star Wars.

If you only see the films on a surface and don’t pay attention to the EU material, you’ll be left with the impression that the Skywalker family are the only people who have the Force due to their ancestor, Anakin, being literally born from the Force in a virgin birth.  But if you think about it for a moment, you would know that the Skywalkers were an exception to the rule.  Jedi were celibate and they were not supposed to have families.  How Force-sensitive people were found were dependent on luck, and Anakin himself came from a lowly position of a slave in a backwater planet of the Outer Rim.

So by default, potential Jedi always came from random people scattered across the galaxy.  Their parents were almost always muggles, and there’s no great mystery about them beyond what happened to them.  And for a Jedi, their story path lies ahead, not behind unless there is something about the past that they should know.

Story-wise, the default explanation for Rey’s origins is that of any Jedi.  She’s a nobody born to a bunch of nobodies and lives on a backwater planet with a greater future ahead of her.  The idea that is somehow a revolutionary concept in Star Wars is almost laughable.  It’s the same as making a big surprising revelation that Mulan is a woman in an army where every other soldier else are women as well.  People can accept Rey Nobody from the beginning like every other Star Wars character introduced in the Saga.  It’s only when you imply there’s more to the character than meets the eye...

2) The Mystery Box Hype

The Mystery Box is designed for one thing only.  To make you generate hype and investment into something that has very little to show.  It’s a great ploy to draw in an audience and see where you can take the story that would please the most people.  But the Mystery Box has a critical weakness.  Sooner or later, people would want to know what’s in the box, and they have spent money and time for that box.  The last thing they want to hear is that they paid for an empty box.

This is the undiscussed part of the Mystery Box factor.  People would rave about how Steven Spielberg created suspense and true terror by not showing the shark when it attacked people in the film.  But what they don’t talk about is that Spielberg nearly destroyed himself and his production trying to get good footage of the shark in its full glory.  Spielberg knew that the audience wouldn’t forgive him if he never showed them the actual shark that he hyped up from the beginning.

This was a critical flaw in Rey’s Mystery Box heritage.  As stated before, Rey started off in the film as a nobody.  That was no mystery.  So to imply that there is something hidden from the audience, something that vague enough for Han and Maz to get lingering shots about her identity, creates higher expectations.  It’s not necessarily about her parents but rather her role in the story.  All of the Skywalker Saga visions, Anakin’s Lightsaber, Luke being her destination, etc.  They seem to hint that Rey is important to the Skywalker family, whatever that reason may be, and it’s something that no other Force-sensitive person could do except her.  Of course, the big reveal in TFA is that she is Force-sensitive (as if that is surprising) but TFA didn’t clear up on Rey’s parents.  No faces, no names, nothing.  They are still a mystery that needed to be resolved despite what Maz Kanata states otherwise to Rey.  So we have two mysteries regarding Rey: Her connection to the Skywalkers and the starship leaving Rey on Jakku.

These two mysteries could be connected but not necessarily so.  But they had to be addressed in some way or some form.

And did TLJ address these two mysteries?  No.  It didn’t.  The best answer for the Skywalker connection is Snoke’s “The darkness rises and the light to meet it,” implying that Rey was destined to rise and combat the evil that is Kylo Ren.  Which is a generic answer that doesn’t explain why it has to be her and not someone else (remember, she didn’t choose to be the hero when those TFA visions happen).  The other mystery, her parents, is a non-answer.  Instead of revealing why the starship left Rey, TLJ focuses on the identity of the parents and reveals them to be filthy, deceased junk traders who sold their daughter for money.  It is clearly a meta-message to say that Rey has no place in the story and that she must forge her own path as Rey Nobody... except it answers nothing.  

It’s the same status quo that Rey was in from the very beginning of TFA.  She’s a nobody who would become the next Jedi hero and her parents are unimportant for the story.  Most reveals like Darth Vader being Luke’s father or that Bucky killed Stark’s parents are effective because they move the plot further and gives us something to look forward to as we wait for the sequel to answer the questions from the reveal (like how would Luke face his father, how would Cap and Iron Man repair their relationship, etc.).  But with Rey’s mysteries being revealed as something we would already be accustomed to, there is nothing for the audience to wonder for the next film.  Why should we care about the ship in the flashback if it’s just Rey’s parents selling Rey off for drinking money?  Why should we care about Rey’s connection with the Skywalker Family if she is not part of their story?

3) Meta-Narrative over In-Universe Reason

If you hadn’t noticed already, I’ve made a big emphasis on how Rey is assumed to be a Nobody at the beginning of TFA.  That is no mistake.  Because in-universe, Rey has no reason to believe that her parents or heritage were anything special.  She doesn’t believe that she is a Skywalker or a Palpatine.  She’s just an orphan lost in a world that has abandoned her.  She would be glad to find a new purpose in her life and resolve her parental abandonment issues.  This is Rey’s character at the end of TLJ.  It hasn’t changed since the end of TFA.  She learned nothing about herself except the confirmation that her parents were indeed nobodies.  Despite what Rian Johnson may say, that is not the worst thing Rey would hear as an answer.

Luke was content with his father being just a spice freighter navigator, and he was delighted to hear that his father was really a powerful Jedi Knight.  The answer that broke his spirit wasn’t Anakin was “a filthy junk trader” who gave him away to Uncle Owen; it was learning that Darth Vader, the evil man that he hated for killing his father and Obi-Wan, was his father Anakin.  To be related to an evil mass murderer who now wants you to join him and take over the galaxy together can traumatize any orphan who longed for a family, including Rey.

But Rey Nobody doesn’t offer that emotional narrative.  Rey Nobody was the starting status quo of TFA and TLJ offered nothing for Rey’s character beyond a “romance” with her archenemy.  The mysteries surrounding Rey have been answered with the starting status quo in an attempt to send in a meta-message that was unneeded from the beginning.  In short, Rey Nobody renders Rey to be a static character as everything about her was already answered in TFA.

Now compare that with Rey Palpatine.

Rey Palpatine, as dumb as it sounds, actually raises the stakes for her.  She is now related to the most evil man in the galaxy, and that evil man wants her to join him (or inherit the throne).  Rey must confront her grandfather and is now faced with the prospect that she would turn to the Dark Side because of her Palpatine blood as well as the moral dilemma of getting the family she wanted at the cost of knowing they are part of the most hated lineage in the galaxy.  There is tension, there is a personal conflict badly needed for her after TLJ...

And all of this could have been done with Rey Skywalker.  Rey Skywalker would have a lot more personal stakes, tensions, and weight considering how the films are billed as the Skywalker Saga.  It would have been perfect.  Instead, we get Rey Nobody... which didn’t offer JJ Abrams the conflict he needs for her in Episode IX thanks to the last two episodes playing around Mystery Boxes, so he retconned Rey as a Palpatine instead.  A Morton’s Fork at work, congratulations!

If you wanted Rey Nobody, you should have started her as Rey Nobody and then build up her character to make us care instead of surrounding her in mysteries that may not be satisfied.