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bosbas · 9 months ago

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Chapter 8: this is falling in love in the cruelest way

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pairing: colin bridgerton x enemy!fem!reader WC: 3.4k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, heavily going off of book canon, me stirring the pot (im sorry)(no im not), PINING!!!!!!!, anthony being very much in love with his wife

Summary: It took precisely two days in England for you to utterly despise Colin Bridgerton. It took him approximately twelve hours after that to hate you right back. But he doesn't care that you're the only person in the ton who doesn't like him. You're set to marry someone else anyway, right?

A/N: guys i'm sorry but this picture is INSANE. the THIGHS??? HELLO? i am looking respectfully.......👁️👁️

June 5, 1816 – And yesterday, much to this author’s surprise, Lord Barlow reportedly proposed to Lady Montclair! This proposal comes unexpectedly after the Duke’s promiscuity with Miss Barrington at the Bridgerton ball a few weeks ago. Given the fact that Miss Barrington has been compromised, it is incredibly shocking that Lord Arthur Barlow would do something like this in polite society. Luckily, Lady Montclair remains a single woman and swiftly rejected her former beau’s proposal. But this only begs the question: why did the Duke propose? Is Lady Montclair simply too alluring to pass up, or is something else amiss between Lord Barlow and Miss Barrington?

“Oh, thank God,” muttered Colin under his breath, his eyes quickly scanning Lady Whistledown’s column as he sat on a bench in the garden.

“What’s that you’re reading, brother?” asked Anthony, ears perking up at Colin’s scandalous language, even if it was just between brothers.

Colin felt a slight blush forming on his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was speaking out loud, having been too caught up in the news that you had finally received a proposal from Lord Barlow. It was a lovely day out, and Anthony, Benedict, and Colin were in the gardens of Number 5 Bruton Street after a round of fencing.

Of course, once Francesca had come outside holding a copy of Whistledown to read in the gazebo, Colin had stolen it out of her hands and abandoned his brothers in favor of catching up on the ton’s happenings. Though no one should have been surprised by his interest, really, given that you were the main topic of most of the gossip sheets nowadays.

“Nothing,” Colin answered quickly, trying to recover from his blunder. “It’s bizarre how invested one becomes in Whistledown while living here. Is this what every summer is like when one isn’t traveling for half the time?”

“In essence, yes,” answered Benedict, still jabbing at the air with his épée as Anthony stared at him amusedly. “What does she have to say today?”

“Lord Barlow proposed to Lady Montclair yesterday,” said Colin, a slight edge to his voice. “And he looked a sight while doing it, too, apparently.”

Benedict dropped his foil, turning around to fully face Colin with a shocked look on his face. “And what did she say?” he pressed, intrigued about the outcome of this curious development. It was practically unimaginable that the Duke had proposed to you after defiling another lady in the ton, and Benedict hadn't considered him capable.

Anthony clapped him on the back, smirking at Colin as he did so. “Well, did you not hear the man say, ‘thank God’? Obviously, she said no.”

Colin crossed his arms, immediately defensive. “It wasn’t that obvious! She could have said yes, and my ‘thank God’ could have been because she would’ve finally left me alone. Duchesses have a lot to do; I doubt she’d find the time to be irritating while attending to her duties in the country.”

Benedict and Anthony gave their brother unimpressed looks, watching amusedly as he squirmed under their gaze.

“I assure you, brother, that there was absolutely no possibility of that being the case,” said Benedict jovially, earning a snort from Anthony.

But before Benedict could laugh, too, Colin lunged at him, épée in hand as he glared playfully at his brother. Finding himself unarmed, Benedict yelped and ran toward the house, citing a very important painting to attend to before sprinting back inside.

Turning to Colin, Anthony smiled curiously. “So, it’s true, then? What Daphne said?”

“What did Daphne say?” asked Colin innocently, dreading the conversation that would follow.

“Don’t be daft. That you love Y/N.”

Colin rolled his eyes, letting out an impatient sigh. “I don’t love her; that’s ridiculous, Anthony! A mere two weeks ago, we absolutely despised each other. I hardly think I could love her now.”

But even as he said those words, Colin questioned whether he actually meant them. Could he love you? He hadn’t ever felt this way about anyone, but then again, no one had ever vexed him quite like you. Though lately, he had been finding the line between irritation and fascination to be quite blurred. So blurry, in fact, that he was having trouble seeing a line at all.

Having clearly overheard part of the conversation, Gregory ran up to his brothers, laughing hysterically as Hyacinth chased him. He stopped and let his sister catch up, smiling evilly at the older Bridgertons “Colin loves who, now?”

Hyacinth arrived a few moments later, panting heavily. “Y/N, of course,” she stated while trying to catch her breath, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“What? What do you mean? Why do say that?” pressed Colin. Why did everyone in his family seem to think that he loved you? Surely they saw the two of you bickering incessantly, right? Your feud was so famous it had even made it to Lady Whistledown’s column. Colin couldn’t understand how anyone could think he had so much affection for you.

Hyacinth raised an eyebrow at her older brother, unamused. “Colin, I am not an idiot. Though perhaps you might be,” she added brightly. And before Colin could respond, she quickly turned to her eldest brother. “Now, Anthony, could you please tell Gregory to give me back my quill?” she begged.

Gregory, scoffed, glaring at his sister. “I’d only borrowed it for a moment! And I only did so because Hyacinth hid mine! Anthony, she’s being unreasonable,” he whined.

Anthony affectionately patted them both on the head and flashed a faux sympathetic smile. “I rather think both of you are being quite the nuisance right now.”

At times, Anthony found himself slipping into the role of a father figure to his youngest siblings. It was an unspoken duty he assumed after their father's passing. Yet, it was important to occasionally remind them that he was still their brother.

Hyacinth responded with a frustrated groan, her teeth grinding audibly, thoroughly vexed with her brother. However, the sight of Gregory's smug smile reignited her fury, and she immediately charged at him. Despite being older than Hyacinth, Gregory wasn't foolish enough to underestimate her, and he took off in a panic, screaming as he tried to outpace his deceptively quick sister.

Colin shook his head in amusement as he watched the antics of his youngest siblings. “Were Daphne and I truly like that?”

“Worse,” said Anthony flatly, but he couldn’t mask the warmth and fondness interlaced in his words.

At that, Anthony began to turn back toward the house. “Well, I must be-”

“Wait!” interrupted Colin. He wasn’t entirely sure why he had stopped his brother, other than the fact that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the possibility that he could love you. You, the person he supposedly hated. The person who certainly hated him.

But, as always, Anthony was the right person to talk to about this. He would know what to say. Though it was well known that Anthony was completely smitten with his wife, Colin remembered a time when the pair seemed to dislike each other fairly intensely.

After a few moments of charged silence, Colin met Anthony’s expectant gaze. Swallowing his pride, he spoke up. “Purely hypothetically, and simply out of curiosity, when did you fall in love with Kate?”

Anthony smiled, amused. “Hmm,” he hummed thoughtfully, putting a hand to his chin. “As long as it's purely out of curiosity,” he teased. “It wasn’t like I simply fell in love with her one day, Colin.”

“Yes, but if you had to pinpoint a moment?” pressed Colin, slightly exasperated. If anything, he needed to know if he had experienced that moment himself.

Anthony’s gaze softened, and he suddenly saw a lot of himself in Colin’s uncertainty and pause when it came to a woman who profusely vexed him. “I found Kate in the library the night after we played Pall Mall for the first time,” he recalled fondly. “We were at Aubrey Hall for the country party and it was raining outside quite loudly, a terrible storm. She was huddled underneath a desk because she was scared of the storm. I very quickly realized I couldn’t hate her anymore. Not properly, anyway. Not when I just wanted to sit on the floor with her and protect her from the storm, and anything else that might come her way.”

His voice had softened as he spoke about his wife, recalling the moment he truly knew there was no way out. Anthony had tried to deny it to himself after, but his protests simply held no conviction after that night.

“You never told me that,” said Colin thoughtfully, not missing the glint of emotion in his brother’s eyes as he talked about his now-wife.

“Yes, well, the real challenge was getting her to love me back,” he said, coming out of his musings. “And that didn’t happen for quite some time after that. It was rather premature of me to declare my love for this woman while I supposedly hated her and was still technically courting her sister.”

It was truly a wonder that he and Kate were married now. But when it was meant to be, it was meant to be, Anthony supposed. Something that was proving to be particularly true of you and his brother. If Colin, who had a deep-seated need to be liked by anyone and everyone, could fall in love with you, the only person who didn’t actually like him, then surely it was meant to be.

Colin, still deep in thought, chewed his lip nervously. “And how did you get her to fall in love with you?”

“We were caught in a… compromising position. She had been stung by a bee and I… Well, I’m sure you recall,” said Anthony, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically shy as he remembered the circumstances that allowed him to marry his wife. “It’s far easier to get a woman to love you when she’s already your wife,” he finished sympathetically.

Colin choked back a laugh. “Unfortunately, I can’t very well put Lady Montclair in a compromising position, can I?” he laughed, shaking his head in disbelief.

“But Colin, I thought this was all hypothetical,” teased Anthony, playfully punching his brother on the shoulder.

Colin cursed under his breath, rolling his eyes in annoyance as Anthony continued laughing at him. “Never mind. I’m off to find Eloise,” he muttered, patting the eldest Bridgerton on the back and leaving him free to go dote on his wife.

After speaking with Anthony, Colin had a renewed sense of purpose. He had to find out why you hated him. He was so utterly exhausted of hating you and of having this tiresome charade of fighting with each other at every available moment. At this point, he didn’t particularly care who in the ton liked him or not. Colin knew he would happily take the entire ton’s wrath for the rest of his life if it meant you loved him.

But he needed to know just how unrealistic his hopes were. Eloise would be the best–and perhaps only–person who would know.

Colin found his sister practicing needlepoint in the sitting room, focused intensely on the material in front of her. It was unclear whether she was trying to sew the fabric or her finger, given how often she was pricking herself as she attempted to thread the needle.

“El!” he called by the doorway, pausing when he saw his sister grimace after pricking herself once again. “I can return later if you’re busy.”

“No! No, please interrupt. Thank heavens,” gasped Eloise, grateful to be able to do something other than draw her blood.

Colin laughed, amused, and suddenly felt a tad sheepish. Was he truly about to ask about you? To ask about you to Eloise, who would no doubt hold this over his head for the rest of eternity? But he had to know. He had to ask, at the very least.

“I was just…I was wondering if you knew why Lady Montclair hates me,”��he asked, clearing his throat awkwardly.

Eloise let out a snort. “Well, I can’t imagine she’d be hard-pressed to find a reason why, given how you treat her.”

Seeing her brother’s crestfallen face, Eloise immediately sobered. Standing up and walking toward him, she placed a reassuring hand on his arm. “I thought you disliked her as well,” she said in a questioning tone.

“Of course I do,” clarified Colin quickly. “But she hated me first and I still don’t know why. I thought she might have said something to you, given how close the two of you are. Do you know at all?”

Eloise clicked her tongue in sympathy, looking at Colin with concern. Perhaps his feelings did run deeper than anyone thought, and the recent dancing and promenading were more than just Colin being his usual charming self around you. “I’m sure I have no idea, Col. But you could always just talk to her.”

Colin shook his head, smiling sadly at his sister. “That’s the problem, isn’t it? She doesn’t usually seem very eager to speak with me.”

Sure, the two of you had been getting along recently. But that had only been twice. And was that really enough to undo the weeks of hatred?

---

It was a particularly delightful Wednesday afternoon, and you found yourself feeding the ducks at Hyde Park as you watched Isabelle and Charlotte skip rocks across the pond. Though you loved Louis to bits, it was a lovely feeling to have both of your sisters home with you. There was simply something about being out in society that he could never quite understand like them, though not for lack of trying.

After lunch, you, Charlotte, and Isabelle had managed to sneak out of the house just as the post-meal discussion grew rowdy. It was not unheard of to have such lively discussions in the Montclair household, and you frequently even enjoyed them. But there were some days, like today, that you frankly just wanted to have a quiet afternoon with a baguette and about a dozen ducks. Luckily, your sisters had decided to join you, and the three of you had set off toward the park in search of a flock of birds to feed.

It seemed that the ducks had taken much more of a liking to you than to your sisters, and they had grown disinterested in the endeavor. Charlotte and Isabelle had opted to give you their remaining bread and take a stroll around the mostly empty park, and you couldn’t say that you were complaining. Coming from such a large family, it was a rare luxury to have an afternoon largely to yourself.

A while later, after most of the ducks found themselves happily full, you spotted a stumbling figure making its way toward you. As you turned to your sisters with a questioning look, you were disappointed to find them in deep conversation facing away from you, neither one of them noticing you.

As the figure neared, you realized who it was: Nigel Berbrooke. Your heart skipped a beat and you felt your stomach drop, unpleasant memories of him and his disgusting words flooding your brain. You had no desire to speak to this man, and you looked around for anyone you could speak with instead. But you had not brought a lady’s maid, and everyone else was too far to intervene.

“Lady Montclair,” said Nigel, with what looked to be an attempt at a seductive smile on his face.

You stood up from your crouching position rigidly and turned to face him. You were unable to form any words, discomfort far outweighing any other emotion you were feeling. This had to be his first time back this season after his absence, you thought. You hadn’t seen him at any events since the Danbury ball, and you rather thought you would have noticed him, looking as vile as he did now.

His nose was a tad more crooked than on the night you had met him, and the bags under his eyes were ghastly. But perhaps it was just your perception of him, knowing what you did about who he was.

“Mr. Berbrooke,” you settled for saying, nose crinkling as you caught a whiff of the pungent smell of alcohol emanating off of him.

“A promenade?” he asked roughly, reaching for your hand without permission. “It’s a lovely afternoon, it would be a shame to waste it.”

“Oh, Mr. Berbrooke, we were just about to head home,” you pointed your head toward your sisters, panicked.

Isabelle and Charlotte were far too immersed in their conversation to look like they were ready to head home, but you prayed that Nigel’s inebriated state would distract him from this.

He growled at you, clearly displeased at your rejection. “I’ve been keeping an eye on you, Montclair. Your dowry, as well as your other…assets, are far too good to pass up,” he slurred, very obviously staring at your chest. “It’s a shame Colin’s gotten to you first.”

You were scandalized, opening your mouth to chastise him, or to scream for help, or anything that could get you out of this situation, really, but he cut you off before you could say anything.

"I've heard Lord Barlow abandoned you, and truth be told, it's hardly shocking," he taunted, his voice laced with disdain as he regarded you with a sneer. "You insist on playing the coy maiden, denying every man what he craves. It's the only reason they’re after you now, you see? They want what you didn't give Arthur. And it appears Colin has taken the lead in the chase, the lucky bastard."

His words brought you crashing back down to reality. Of course, he was colluding with Colin. You had conveniently overlooked that fact as you found yourself becoming bashful in his presence, feeling secure, even desiring his company after these recent days. A surge of bile rose in your throat.

You felt tears prickling in your eyes, and you were impossibly angry with yourself for forgetting the very reason you despised Colin Bridgerton. How could you have let yourself forget? He was still the same man you overheard at the Danbury ball, and you were too embarrassed to admit that his charm had worked on you.

You were disgusted with Nigel and Colin, but also with yourself. You were more than this, you chided. How could you have let this happen? The two men were clearly no good, and you had unwittingly allowed yourself to be ensnared, much like you had with Lord Barlow.

“Excuse me,” you said roughly, dodging Mr. Berbrooke’s outstretched hand as you ran toward where Isabelle and Charlotte were standing, propriety be damned.

“On va chez nous. Tout de suite,” you said to them urgently, practically begging as you tugged on Isabelle’s hand (We’re going home. Right now).

Charlotte looked at you, confused, and then noticed you glancing nervously at Nigel as he approached, angrily staggering over to you as his face contorted into an ugly scowl.

“Ah, I’m terribly sorry Mr. Berbrooke,” Isabelle said firmly, “but it seems we have to go.”

Not waiting for a response, your sisters hooked their arms in yours and hurriedly walked back from where you came. They’d be damned if he let anything else happen to you after what happened with Lord Barlow, and they were not about to waste any time.

Nigel only grunted, displeased, but let the three of you go without protest. Both of your sisters’ husbands were very powerful men, and Nigel was not so deluded as to forget his place in society.

“Y/N?” Charlotte questioned softly once you were sufficiently far away enough.

But you were too embarrassed, tears streaming down your face as you choked back sobs. How could you have let yourself fall for Colin’s charm? You knew exactly who he was, and you had ignored it anyway. It didn’t matter that he made you feel safe and that the two of you had more in common than you cared to admit. He would never respect you, and you could never love him.

Nigel had come at just the right time, you thought sullenly. Right as you were thinking you could finally overlook your rivalry with Colin, right as the memory of why you disliked him in the first place was fading. And thank heavens he did. You would not be taken for a fool again, by Colin or by Lord Barlow or by anyone.

—

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Tag List (get added here):

@marvelspogue @5sosmakesmelaugh5 @maddiebaddie1 @livingthatprovinciallife @willieoo @jessica-1120 @dreadity @h0eforwadewilson @ziarah @wordsgodeep @mrs-c-bridgerton @dianxiaxiexie @like-gabriel-and-castiel @snapeeballsack @sosasi521-blog @saturnssunflower @indecisive-empanada @invisible-dreamers-world @angerpearl @ssexsellls @smugrogerina @cherrysxuya @theonekaysstuff @idkwhatimdoing6 @ella33 @tiger1357890 @mswwvaleska @bozoqt @unadulteratedwolfcrown @anthonylockwoodandco111 @beamuont @adxrekyun @stevenwithav01 @peter-parker-tony-stank-trash @none-of-this-makes-any-sense @superhighschoollevelnerd-blog1 @patty2191 @expensiveinnocentgurl @erysione @hockeybabestars @inkwriter122 @nighttimemoonlover @chamomiletea-beforebed @alexendria-rose @watersevn @funalpaca @babypink224221 @littlecoffeeadict @agoldenwoe @sydneygal3107

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tsukimefuku · 5 months ago

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THE FOODIES & GOODIES EVENT MASTERLIST — JUJUTSU KAISEN

Bento Box Blunder (by @pmpmyread) Pairing/Characters: Kento Nanami x f!Reader Tags/cw: None, barring the gratuitous mentions of food. Summary: You’d always admired Kento Nanami from a distance, even harbouring a small crush on him, sentiments you’d only allowed yourself to indulge within the safe sanctuary of your discretion. Then one day, you stole his lunch.

Tuna Mayo (by @redlikerozez) Pairing/characters: Inumaki Toge x gn!Reader Tags/cw: Canon typical descriptions of violence, dealing with loss of limb, probably inaccurate description of making rice balls. Summary: Inumaki Toge tries to make rice balls in the aftermath of Shibuya. Reader helps him out. Or an Inumaki Toge-centric fic about dealing with the events of Shibuya while also being absolutely whipped for GN!Reader.

Get that bread, Sir (by @rahuratna) Characters: Nanami Kento. Ijichi Kiyotaka. Tags/cw: fluff, comedy. Summary: One assistant. One sandwich. One ruthless adversary in the quest for quality bread.

Love you a latte (by @kentocalls) Pairing/characters: Fushiguro Toji x f!Reader Tags/cw: Fluff. Summary: Lazy mornings with Toji and a passion for coffee.

Lollipop kiss (by @tsukimefuku) Pairing/characters: Kusakabe Atsuya x gn!Reader Tags/cw: comedy, fluff, this man is completely clueless but reader isn’t making things any easier. making out and happy ending. there is a bartender very invested in the drama. a little suggestive if you squint. Summary: your workplace crush, kusakabe, is pretty dense when it comes to romance, so you try to ease things out with a bag of lollipops.

My Cinnamon Girl (by @actuallysaiyan) Pairing/characters: Nanami Kento x f!Reader Tags/cw: smoking, general fluff Summary: Kento is your regular customer and one night when he really needs you, he ends up finding you outside smoking and you offer him some pastries.

Love you a waffle lot, you know? (by @senseifupa) Pairing/characters: Higuruma Hiromi x f!Reader Tags/cw: sfw with smoochin, fluff, established relationship, soft Hiromi. Summary: Hiromi and you share warm moments over waffles.

My "Batter" Half (by @seireiteihellbutterfly) Pairing/characters: Nanami x f!Reader Tags/cw: saw, fluff, cuteness. Summary: You decide to make one of your favorite South Indian recipes while accompanied by Nanami.

Good Enough to Eat (by @fattybattysblog) Pairing/characters: Mahito x Female Original Character Tags/cw: Smut, inappropriate use of food and cursed techniques, temperature play, Mahito is his own content warning. Summary: "Can't I just visit a friend?" he asked slyly. "We'd have to be friends first," she grumbled. Mahito's laughter echoed through the room, a sound that made Hairi's skin prickle. He sat upright and rested his arm on his knee. "Touché," he said, licking another drip of ice cream. "But, you know, we're not so different. We could be friends." Hairi raised an eyebrow. "Friends don't usually show up unannounced and uninvited." "Isn't spontaneity the spice of life?" he leaned forward, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Besides, I think we both know there's more between us than just animosity." She scoffed, taking a defiant bite of her own cone. "In your dreams." "Actually... in yours," he purred, his gaze lingering on her lips.

Egg Fried Rice (by @tiny-wooden-robot-fics) Pairing/characters: Geto Suguru x Original Female Character Tags/cw: Fluff, Mentions of food and alcohol, Flirting, Pre-established friendship, Geto and OC are roommates, There is some suggestiveness near the end, This is part of a series Summary: “I was,” she admits, “but I realized I didn’t feel like working out tonight and decided to make greasy food instead.” She raises an eyebrow, taking his spoon from him and helping herself to his bowl of fried rice. “And anyway, I’m allowed to eat and drink whatever I want, Suguru.” “The point of cooking enough for both of us is so we can each have our own… is it not?” He looks pointedly at the spoon in her hand. “It tastes better when I take it from you,” she laughs. She holds a spoonful of rice up to his mouth. He hesitates only for a moment before letting her feed him. “You’re definitely different,” he chuckles once he’s done chewing. He doesn’t realize he’s said the words aloud until she goes quiet, her brown eyes wide and staring.

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rainbowsillz · 1 year ago

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Could I maybe ask for your take on how the dorm leaders react to their SO playing with their hair (and their ears/horns when it comes to Leona/Malleus)?

I love your writing! 💜

“How are you so carefree with this? I swear you are full of surprises..”

Pairings: Multiple Characters X GN! Reader.

-*-

Note: Sure! Thanks for this request(*^o^*)✨ I admit I got a bit lazy so no Vil and Idia qwq.

RIDDLE was near to conjuring his signature magic with you, and he was very tempted to it when he felt a hand tucking a strand of his ruby hair behind the back of his ear until his eyes met yours. The howling snarl in his mind settled when he downed his cup of tea. In an attempt to remind himself. What kind of person would he be if he loses his conduct with a spouse of his because of his mania? And because you informed him how much he was as exquisite as if he was a prince from a mythology you heard from.

LEONA was generally meh with it. Just don't touch his tail, 'kay? Or else, he'll be making you his pillow for the rest of his evening. Let's say, you're lucky to be his mate because if it's the others, he'd probably flip with this blunder, deemed it as an annoyance for him. He's also extremely prideful with your display of affections and reassuring words, it somewhat feeds into his ego that at least he's number one in your opinion (unlike that damned lizard). It means a lot to him even if you are as dense as a rock or something too.

AZUL has an intriguing reaction. Internally, he's kicking his feet and beaming like a high-school boy interacting with his crush, how about external wise from your point of view? Gripping his coat, as he forced another customer service smiling face (that looks unnatural) as if he wasn't on the urge to hide himself in his octopus pot. Does that mean you'll marry him? Is this a yes? He's delusional. Not that I would blame him, he's overjoyed after all. From his tone, he seemed to be okay with these gestures...?

KALIM behaved as you'd guess. Zero hesitation. Poke his forehead? Go ahead. Hold hands? Wonderful. I wholeheartedly believe that he would encourage you to because it means that you were at ease with his presence. Easy to talk him into your sort of thing (while Jamil suffered). With how dazzling and happy-go-lucky he is, you wouldn't have the heart to refuse him either. He jumped up and dragged you to his drawer as he motioned you to pick out a brush so you could use it on him as you wished.

MALLEUS was ecstatic, that wouldn't be enough to describe him. For you, it may be due to your own curiosity or you being adventurous with the said fae, his pupils intently gazing into you. Is this how humans express their emotions? What's the underlying meaning? Too invested in his thoughts at this time. You ran your fingers along the curve, sturdy and bony sprouts on his height. Amusement was creeping on his features as he let out a chortle at it. How brave. You differ from everything he knew of, aren't you?

#twisted wonderland x you #twisted wonderland x reader #twst imagines #twst scenarios #twst prompts #twst riddle x reader #twst leona x reader #twst azul x reader #twst kalim x reader #twst malleus x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #gender neutral reader #etihw.writes

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diazsdimples · 6 months ago

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In my little buddietommy world, these boys LOVE reality TV.

Eddie and Tommy watch Love Island together - the only reason Buck doesn’t join in bc he can’t commit to however many goddamn episodes per week - and Tommy gets SO invested in the drama of it all. He loves it. He’ll find himself accidentally bringing it up at work and he gets razzed to hell by his colleagues for it but sue him if he’s so invested in how Fabio is talking to two women at once! Eddie sits there with his popcorn and yells his opinion at the screen because he loves mess and thinks it’s so fun to watch people blunder through relationships rather than he himself doing it (for a change)

Buck forced Eddie into watching Keeping up with the Kardashians with him way back during lockdown and now they’re both heavily invested in it. Now that they’re together, they regularly go on binges of the older seasons and watch the new ones religiously. Tommy doesn’t get it because “why do you care so much about a family you’ve never met, they’re not even talented!” But Buck and Eddie care very very deeply about it all. They quote it the iconic quotes all the time.

Buck and Tommy watch the Amazing Dr. Pol together, and while it’s not the most reality tv of all reality tv, it’s such a nice reset for them. Buck loves it for all the animals and he will get so emotional if something happens to any of them, and Tommy finds the surgeries fascinating. He’d wanted to be a vet when he was younger and while that wasn’t the path for him, he’s so happy to watch it on TV, with his boyfriend curled into his side and his other boyfriend avoiding the TV because he will get emotional if he sees any animal die and he’ll be useless for the rest of the day.

Together, the three of them watch Married at First Sight. This is the only long show multiple episode reality show Buck is willing to watch because the drama is so intense. He walked in on Eddie and Tommy watching it one evening, sat to watch for “only a couple of minutes” and made it through a whole episode and asked them to fill him in on what happened earlier in the season because he needed to know what was happening. So they’ll set aside a day during the week where they curl up with popcorn, blankets and snacks and binge all the week’s episodes in one go. Buck live texts his reactions to Maddie, who’s also keeping up on it, and Eddie and Tommy make bets on which couples will last and which won’t. It’s just a nice way for them to escape the pressures of their lives and jobs and they love it so much.

#james writes #buddietommy #evan buckley #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #911 abc #911 #bucktommy #buddie #eddietommy #tevan #teddie #polyfire

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inbarfink · 1 year ago

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One thing about ‘Fionna and Cake’ the Show’s view of trauma and recovery is that it loves to emphasize the idea that a step forwards is a step forwards no matter how flawed it is.

Simon’s decision to embark on the Crown Quest is definitely the most obvious example. It was a terrible move that speaks both to Simon’s inability to see value in his old life outside of noble self-sacrifice and a deep streak of basically-suicidal self-destructiveness. Fionna is only really starting to fathom just how truly a terrible bad no good idea it is, and Simon has yet to really admit it at all.

But compared to where he was just moment before he made that decision, literally resigned to drinking himself away and waiting for death at the hands of the Scarab even though that will also doom all of Fionnaworld - self destructing so hard he was taking an entire universe down with him - that was still technically a Step Forwards.

It got Simon to take Fionna and Cake’s feelings into consideration and actually engage with them as Real People and not just another example of the universe kicking him when he’s down

And it kept him motivated enough to keep moving forwards and really helped him rediscover his capacity to feel happiness

And that’s how he and Fionna really made friends and developed a bond

And that is what saved Simon from the Magic Crown and his own self-destructiveness in ‘Jerry’, at least temporarily.

Him opening up to Fionna and allowing her to know him beyond just a Pathetic Old Weirdo Who Doesn't Even Have Magic Anymore is what allowed her to so quickly understand why letting Simon turn himself into Ice King is actually such a terrible thing.

And Fionna’s hesitation to give Simon the Crown and the chance she’s given to him to relive his happiest memories stopped - or at least delayed the most self-destructive part of Simon’s plan.

And I feel it’s pretty probable Fionna’s words and actions and the friendship they forged and the positive experiences the adventure has given him will have an effect on Simon’s decisions in the future.

However toxic and flawed Simon’s first step was, it still mattered to his overall recovery.

And you can say similar things about Fionna’s progress as a hero.

Most notably her blunder with the Obvious Trap in “The Star”.

Was it a Bad Terrible No Good Idea? Yes, absolutely. Both for Fionna’s psyche in specific and also for Literally Everyone in Vampireworld actually

But it was a Step Forward in the very very bumpy road of Fionna towards true heroism. Her earnest desire to truly help people and make the world around her just a little bit better and questioning authority - after blindly following the Winter King’s flattery in a quest to Defeat All the Baddies made her hurt so many people…

It shows how much her experiences affected her and mattered to her how much she’s trying to learn from her mistakes. Taking responsibilities for her actions, dealing with the consequences. Even as the people around her are, however well-intentionally, trying to tell her to pay it no mind at all

Fionna still understands that it is important to her to care about everything that happened and to try and do better. And she did really try to do better.

And after that little blinder went up in flames, she started trying to do better by being more careful. And that also wasn't perfect because she became kinda overly-careful and overprotective and put a huge wedge between her and Cake

But it's still an important step in Fionna learning to process the consequences of her actions. And because Fionna is now so much more invested in thinking things through and not wanting anyone to get hurt - that is also a big reason why she hesitated to give Simon the Extinctworld Crown. And it's probably going to lead to other good deeds in the future.

And that… doesn’t negate All the Terrible Things that happened as a result of her decisions - but it still mattered as a step forwards for her character as well.

179 notes · View notes

inuhalfdemon · 7 months ago

Text

No One Can Know... (21/21)

Word Count: 7,448 Words

Rating: Explicit (SMUT + Violence + Language)

Chapter 21

"The only heaven that I'll be sent to,

Is when I'm alone with you.

I was born sick, but I love it.

Command me to be well.

Amen."

- Hozier

“Ok, Al…You made your fucking point, don’t make me wait around here all fucking day!”

Lucifer was pacing the floor; holed-up in his workroom. The extermination was only moments away from beginning…and Alastor still hadn’t summoned him.

Fuming, Lucifer whirled around – starting another lap; his eyes focused on the clock. He watched the seconds tick by…each twitch of the dial only adding fuel to his building anger.

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“Let the slaughter begin…”

Alastor laughed wickedly; power thrumming from his staff as he threw out his arms. Shadows and green magic formed a powerful barrier around the hotel; crawling upward and forming the shield that would keep the majority of the angels that were descending on them at bay while the few that managed to slip through were dealt with below.

Tentacles wielded angelic weapons; dispatching any angel that came within reach of their swing with ease.

Alastor only had a limited amount of power he planned to invest in the protective seal; once Adam successfully disrupted the flow of power, the shield would collapse. Adam would find Alastor standing on the roof of the hotel �� drawing him in…

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The extermination must have started by now…

Lucifer helplessly glanced out the window; but he was only afforded a very poor vantage point.

All of the Voxtech that had been swarming the hotel would be delivering live-feeds all throughout Hell, but, the benefits to utilizing that type of technology may not outweigh the risks…

“FUCKING HELL, AL!” Lucifer yelled; absolutely infuriated.

I’ll kill him, I’ll fucking kill him.

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“Adam…I’m about to end your fucking life!”

Alastor had a pretty good idea of what Adam’s attacks might look like, but he was careful to test this by sending shadows and tentacles after the angel first. Adam’s defense and attacks were all as Carmilla Carmine had described to Vaggie… he was fighting like someone who thought they couldn’t be harmed – what’s more the angelic weapons that they had seen hadn’t proven to wield any amount of unique power thus far...

“A mortal soul is no match for me, Edgelord!” Adam scoffed; parrying Alastor’s half-hearted attacks.

“You should know better than anyone what a soul can accomplish when they take charge of their own fate…” Alastor goaded him – enjoying the fact that he knew all the fine details to Lilith’s involvement with Heaven and Adam…when Adam clearly knew nothing of him.

Adam was too caught up in his own blunderings to catch the reference though.

Adam’s attacks were sloppy and brutish; he threw himself heavily into every close swing he took with his angelic axe and he was leaving himself open at every turn. Alastor enjoyed pointing this out to him; catching Adam in moments where his fucking back was turned to him. It only took some quick and fancy footwork to keep Alastor just out of reach from his attacks. Too easy.

He needn’t kill Adam today…but, he would still have his fun with him.

Alastor stretched himself out; feeling his power branching out into more tentacles and shadows…shifting form.

Alastor wasn’t one to boast during a real fight but he was enjoying winding Adam up – it was pissing the angel off; causing him to make more mistakes… Alastor easily caught him with a tentacle – coiling it around Adam’s torso before throwing him heavily into the back of the Hazbin Hotel sign.

“I’m going to wipe that shit-eating grin off your face,” Adam was yelling, thoroughly done with this fight now. Alastor smirked; ready for Adam to close the distance and take another one of his primitive swings for him.

Only…Alastor miscalculated.

“Cuz’ radio is fucking dead!!!”

When Adam jumped into the air, he didn’t close the distance; he lengthened it; his angelic axe suddenly swinging upward – singing with an incredible bolt of power before the blade came swinging back down.

Alastor braced against the attack; unable to avoid it now. He was only just ready to take the unexpected blow of power when it struck but…he had been thrown back to form!

And, his staff – the source to all of the power he currently commanded - was severed cleanly in half.

“Ffffffffffffffffffuck!”

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A disturbing amount of time passed and Lucifer grew more and more agitated. He began wasting power; throwing up glowing portals to the hotel repeatedly…only to have them fizzle and crackle into nothing.

Yelling again; he literally spat fire – smoke trailing from his nostrils.

Suddenly; something gave.

It wasn’t Alastor that was summoning him...

Charlie needed him.

Charlie’s life was in danger.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It only took Adam to decide that he was going to actually and truly harm Charlie for it to happen.

Lucifer was there in an instant; appearing above the hotel just in time to catch Adam’s threatening words to his daughter:

“…it’s time to die with the rest of them.”

…

“So, this is what you’ve been up to since Eden?”

Lucifer was no fool. If Alastor was out of the picture then, Adam had something up his sleeve and he fully intended to find out what it was.

He knew just how to rile Adam and he easily met and avoided all of his poorly planned, short-distance attacks.

Adam was getting angrier and he threw Lucifer – who had playfully transformed himself into a white octopus - off of him; incredibly power suddenly crackling all throughout Adam’s body.

Lucifer took pause; feeling the power that was now emanating from Adam…confused by it.

Adam unleashed an awesome amount of power; throwing it directly down at Lucifer; aimed directly at the hotel. Lucifer had been prodding Adam for this very thing – he readily dodged the attack - but even he was caught off-guard by the amount of destruction Adam was wielding against them in his hands…

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Directly following the fight with Adam and the building of the new hotel, everyone knew Alastor was not himself. He was smiling; beaming at every one widely but…there was an edginess to his enthusiasm – something unsettling and unpredictable.

They knew something went south in his part of protecting the hotel, but he wasn’t saying - and they weren’t asking...

Excited about the new hotel and what this meant for their future; everyone was excitedly talking and wanting to explore the new place. Alastor was among the group when a trickle of blood seeped from the pedicle to one of his antlers, trailing down his face.

"Uh...Smiles. You, uh...you got something happening with your...uh-hmm..." Angel, carefully, pointed this out to him.

Alastor smoothly brushed the matter off; flashing another wide and pleasant smile to everyone before excusing himself so that he might go and find his room.

Lucifer watched him as he left; his contempt toward Alastor simmering beneath his skin. He waited before deciding to follow him…reigning his emotions in.

He had noted how straight Alastor carried himself as he walked away from everyone there in the lobby – how seemingly perfectly at ease he was – so much so that he was fucking humming as he left – ever-present smile stretched taut across his face.

Lucifer knew this façade. He knew it very well.

Sighing; Lucifer threw up a portal – stepping through it and into Alastor’s hotel suite.

The room hummed with residual power from the recent re-build of the hotel; Alastor would be able to tap into its source at any point and adjust the suite even more to his liking. For now, though; it remained the same.

When Lucifer found him – his suspicions were confirmed.

Alastor’s bleeding had progressed, and it was obvious that he was in a great deal of discomfort. He was seated, leaning forward, on his couch. Blood was streaming from both antlers now, drips of it staining parts of the sofa, the carpet and even Alastor's pristine suit. He sat, body bent with a hand gripping his temples, his smile still never yet wavering.

Shaking his head, Lucifer went to him.

“Well, that sure as shit didn’t go like you planned, did it.” Lucifer told him, lowly.

Sitting down on the couch beside him, he jostled Alastor.

"Do you fucking mind?" Alastor snarled, clearly not in the mood for company.

Not saying anything, Lucifer pulled him to lie against him - Alastor’s head lying upon a pillow Lucifer had set across his lap.

"What the fuck-"

Alastor’s shadow threw itself against the wall; rising menacingly upward and leering down on Lucifer.

"Shut it." Lucifer said grimly – ignoring the shadow.

Alastor was fighting him, but Lucifer held him firm and it was concerning to him how easy it was to do.

Adam really did a number on him...

Lucifer produced warm moist towels and a blanket. He warm-compressed the buds of Alastor's antlers, tossing the blanket over him.

Alastor stopped struggling, realizing it wasn’t getting him anywhere.

Lucifer produced a book for himself to read, perusing through it casually as he settled himself into the sofa.

"I…object to this treatment.” Alastor growled; trying to get up again – then groaned in increasing discomfort.

Alastor’s shadow shifted; hissing sharply.

"I know." Lucifer replied coolly, eyes still on his book. "But, your body is tired…you’re spent. You need to give yourself a chance to lie down and heal."

Lucifer tilted his head; acknowledging the defensive shadow now.

“You, and…tall, dark and handsome over there.”

Alastor’s shadow paused; tilting it’s head. Lucifer winked and it melted – pressing closer to them both with a purr.

Alastor groaned again – disgusted.

He stopped trying to resist now, completely giving up.

"I'm not going anywhere." Lucifer continued, turning a page and not looking at him. "Retreat to your shadows....and rest."

“How can I be sure that my body won’t be in more pieces when I return?” Alastor asked him dryly.

“You and I will have…much…to discuss, Alastor.” Lucifer darkly assured him. “But, for now…rest.”

Sighing, Alastor relented, his body relaxing.

The warm compresses and Lucifer's presence was...soothing. As much as he hated to admit it to anyone - especially himself – both were helping.

Following Lucifer's advice, he drifted off – leaving his body - letting his shadow pull him away with him…where they could both recover and find rest.

…

Fuck…he’s burning up.

Alastor’s body had began shivering against him, drawing Lucifer’s attention. Brushing Alastor’s hair back; he felt the sweating and heated-dampness of his skin…saw the paleness of his face.

Confused; Lucifer shifted – lifting one of the warm compresses.

What the hell?

Pulling the compress away; Alastor’s pedicle immediately began bleeding again.

His body isn’t healing…?

Lucifer moved to slide himself out from underneath him when he saw it; the pooling of a dark stain that was seeping into Alastor’s jacket.

Oh…you stupid jackass.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer hurried down to the hotel lobby. He needed to find Niffty and he needed to somehow get her attention without alarming the others.

Hearing voices; he confirmed that she was among the group and he hurriedly shapeshifted himself into a vibrantly white moth – fluttering quickly.

Finding a nice high and open area; Lucifer landed – quickly and repeatedly shifting his moth wings open and closed. He was directly in Niffty’s line of sight…she just needed to glance up. Alastor had told him that Niffty tended to be more…attune to things than others gave her credit for. He desperately hoped her sharp eye would see his frantic movements and know what he was trying to convey to her.

It took no longer than a second for Niffty to see Lucifer’s subtle signal; and she knew immediately that something was wrong.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once Niffty was apart from the others; Lucifer met her in the hallway and he threw up a portal – taking them both back to Alastor’s suite.

Realizing that Alastor had sustained a substantial - and bleeding - wound from the fight with Adam; Lucifer had carefully moved him to the tiled floor of the bathroom, placing him near the drain. Alastor was stretched out on his back, fully clothed – still very much asleep. Stepping from the portal; Lucifer guided Niffty over to where Alastor’s head rested on a rolled towel that Lucifer had laid out for him.

Lucifer had filled Niffty in the best that he could as they came but then he realized he had forgotten one detail.

“His antlers…” Lucifer bent down; lifting the pair of two-pointed branches of bone that had slipped from their placements. “His head is still bleeding because he…well, lost them. They fell when I was moving him.” Lucifer paused…unsure of how much Niffty really knew or cared to know about Cervidae demons. “It’s something that…happens sometimes.” He started to explain.

“I know.” Niffty told him. She was kneeled down, behind Alastor’s head; her one eye wide with worry – staring at Alastor’s sleeping face. “I’ve seen it happen a couple of times…” She admitted; but then she fixed her eye on Lucifer. “He doesn’t like others to know, though.”

Lucifer set the antlers back down and moved to kneel beside Alastor, looking at Niffty seriously. “Then, how about you and I agree to keep his secrets. I’m sure there’s a few things here that are about to happen that he doesn’t want others to know about.”

Niffty gave him a sharp nod in agreement.

“I came and got you, little bug, because I don’t really know what all I’ll have to do for him yet…best that someone he’s close to is here, just in case. His body isn’t healing like it should ….and I’m not sure what I’ll find once I take off his shirt.”

Niffty nodded again – before she turned her eye back to Alastor.

Seeing that she understood, Lucifer nodded to himself before leaning over and un-doing the clasps to Alastor’s jacket. Sliding it and Alastor’s shirt away; he hissed.

Alastor was very nearly cleaved in two. Adam’s axe had cut long, and it had cut deep, but - most concerning - was that it also must have been imbued with some kind of power or poison…Alastor’s flesh was bubbling with foam at the edges – preventing the wound from knitting closed.

Lucifer leaned closer and he saw that there was black and green discharge oozing from the edges of the ragged flesh – the point of contact between these liquids was bubbling up into a yellow-froth. Whatever power the blade had when it had cut into Alastor’s body, it was preventing his recovery – and, it was slowly killing him. It was amazing to Lucifer that he even was still alive…something in Alastor’s own power was keeping his death at bay, but only just.

Glancing at Niffty; Lucifer saw that she was horrified by what she was seeing.

“It’s quite, alright.” He smiled. “I’ll set him straight, here in a jiff.” He assured her. “Just…don’t touch any of that ok.” He nodded to the liquids seeping from Alastor’s chest.

Lucifer cracked his knuckles.

“Okay…I’m going to pull the toxins from the wound. My body can neutralize it but it’s going to want to dispel everything once that’s done…I’m warning you now: I may puke.” Lucifer told her.

Well, I will puke but “may” just sounds nicer…

Breathing heavily through his nose; Lucifer released a huff of air back out his mouth.

“Alright, then…”

Lucifer set his hand across Alastor’s wound – palm down and fingers outstretched.

Concentrating; he continued taking breaths in through his nose – exhaling them slowly back out through his mouth.

Niffty made a small gasp and Lucifer saw the glow of white light emanating from where he was touching Alastor. The light glowed brightly for a moment; then slowly faded as it was pulled into the wound.

A bubbling blackness filled the cavity of the gaping gash; Niffty’s eye widened before she had to look away from it – staring intently at Alastor’s face. Her little hands were trembling badly.

Lucifer sucked in another breath of air through his nose – feeling sick now. The black bubbling liquid was being absorbed into his palm now and his body wanted nothing more than to reject it immediately. He forced himself to stay still; never moving his palm. He had a hunch that this substance – whatever it was - could very easily kill demons; he couldn’t risk Alastor or Niffty being exposed to it any further than what they already had.

His stomach lurched and Lucifer knew he was going to vomit soon but the black was very nearly gone now – beneath it, Alastor’s wound was already healing; bleeding freshly and beginning to knit itself closed. Lucifer’s skin broke out into a sweat; shivers racking his upper body. Trembling, Lucifer kept his hand pressed to Alastor’s chest until nothing but bright red blood seeped against his skin.

Gasping; Lucifer lurched to the side – barely crawling over and making it to the toilet before he was retching heavily into the porcelain bowl – gray liquid spewing from his mouth. He spent several minutes there…feeling incredibly ill. Even after he couldn’t possibly have anything left in his system…his world tilted and spun with the effects of his nausea.

Flushing the toilet; Lucifer collapsed onto his back – feeling the coolness of floor tiles beneath him. He turned his head; seeing Niffty still knelt and pressed close to Alastor’s face in worry – the gash in his chest red and open still, but nearly closed. Trails of drying blood were running down his ribs; seeping into the drain.

Groaning, Lucifer shifted and moved now to get up – he wobbled briefly at the vertigo but knew he would be feeling better soon so he persevered; slowly standing.

“Ok…let’s clean him up, huh? You got that part ok if I take care of these?” Lucifer asked Niffty; producing sponges and a bucket of freshly warmed water beside her. She nodded and he reached for the discarded clothing.

While Niffty worked on scrubbing the blood off of Alastor, Lucifer turned on the bathroom fan. Standing underneath it; he lit the soiled fabric on fire with a flick of his thumb– watching it engulf in his hands; burning entirely into a dark black cloud of smoke. He watched it all get sucked up into the fan – disappearing completely in only a moment.

Once that was all done; Lucifer awkwardly carried Alastor to his bedroom – Niffty riding perched on one of Lucifer’s shoulders. She leapt onto the bed – quickly pulling back the covers back as Lucifer set him carefully down. Niffty helped pull him into place. She worked to make sure Alastor was comfortably tucked in by the bedding, leaving the wound on his chest exposed so that she could continue monitoring its healing. She had taken care to clean the blood off from the openings left by his fallen antlers as well, and Alastor already had small round nubs forming where the sockets had been.

Tired – and still not feeling great – Lucifer pulled up a chair; making himself comfortable. Crawling into the covers of the bed; Niffty curled herself up beside Alastor there. It wasn’t long before all three of them were all well and passed out…asleep.

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Later, Alastor was still asleep and resting.

Niffty had left to go downstairs and find something to eat, to let everyone know that they were all okay and to tell Charlie that her father would be down to update her soon.

Lucifer had pulled the chair he was sitting in closer to Alastor. He was leaned over – absently running his claws through the sleeping man’s hair and…thinking:

He wasn’t sure who to be the most angry with right now. Lilith, for orchestrating this whole mess and endangering Charlie? Alastor, for their fight and his preventing Lucifer from being there when the attack on the hotel first happened? Adam, for having the audacity; the impudence to actually, truly and fully intend to target and harm Charlie, his daughter, his heir? Himself, for his utter and complete naivety – in his continual belief that Heaven would see; that they ever actually could.

Lucifer’s eyes roamed to Alastor’s wound – the edges of ragged flesh had knitted but, already it was clear there would be scarring. There were higher powers involved in this whole affair now; in this struggle between Heaven and Hell.

Lucifer had his suspicions…but, Sera wouldn’t…would she?

His eyes remained fixed on the healing disfigurement… Alastor paid the price for Lucifer’s foolish blindness in all of this; sacrificed to power and the bite of the holiest of blades… Heaven wasn’t messing around and now…neither was Lucifer.

Lucifer’s claws stilled – his hand resting there in Alastor’s hair.

He was angry with Alastor; absolutely furious with him, but… Lucifer couldn’t help but feel for him as well. Lucifer wasn’t there to know the details to Alastor’s fight but, he had a good idea of what had happened. Watching Alastor afterward…seeing him going through all of the motions, after such a crushing and humiliating defeat…Lucifer couldn’t help but relate.

In the lobby; seeing Alastor interacting, smiling and laughing with everyone – putting on his show - Lucifer saw that he was still losing his fight with Adam. As complicated as everything felt right now, Lucifer would see to it that Alastor walked away from this okay. Lilith kept him from self-destructing after their fall…he could see to Alastor after his.

“Still,” Lucifer sighed. “I should hate you…” He said quietly.

He glanced toward the door; briefly wondering what all he would tell Charlie.

“…don’t you?”

Lucifer turned; seeing Alastor’s eyes were now open – looking at him.

Lucifer didn’t say anything, he just stared back at Alastor. Alastor looked…exhausted, worn and defeated.

“Don’t you hate me?” Alastor asked him again; waiting.

Lucifer swallowed, taking his hand away from Alastor’s hair now. “No….I mean, I’m fucking pissed. I want to rip those fresh pair of antlers straight out of your skull and use the sharpened points to flay you alive for that stupid little stunt you pulled,” Alastor flinched at this, knowing Lucifer very well could. “but,…I don’t hate you.”

“Why?” Alastor asked him; eyes flaring with something akin to suspicion.

Lucifer wanted to throw something snarky and biting back at him; maybe a good ‘fuck if I know’ kind of a comment but…

“I know what having your pride hurt feels like, Alastor…I know what it’s like to want to heal that wound, to strike back at the hand that caused it…and, I blindly sent you into an unfair fight with Adam. Nothing I could have said or done would have prepared you for that. Even as the first man, it doesn’t make sense for him to be given that kind or that amount of great power…”

“You didn’t know?”

“What?” Lucifer laughed, lightly. “You think that’s something that I just would neglect to mention?”

He saw the look that Alastor was giving him, and he realized.

“You thought I meant to serve you to Adam? Offer you up on some fucked up silver platter?”

“It’s not like you haven’t referenced such things before…you wanted me killed the moment we met. You’ve sacrificed others…offering sinners to Adam - and to Heaven - when you and Lilith agreed to these exterminations.” Alastor told him.

“You must really think me a monster…” Lucifer said, softer now.

“No…just, that I’ve been foolish and that I’ve acted in poor judgement...I revoke all stipulations to our agreement.” Alastor told him.

“We are voiding our deal.”

Alastor laughed. “You forget, I’ve already declined that offer.

“Not just our deal; all of it.” Lucifer told him. “There are bigger powers at play here now than Lilith or I had ever considered might be involved this early; it’s not worth the risks…not to you or to Charlie…we will figure something else out.”

“Please,” Alastor groaned in disgust, and then hissed, moving to sit up now. “You had to have known there would be some risk.”

“Yes, but not this high…” Lucifer looked hard at Alastor. “Knowing what you know now…would you have done everything the same? Would have you have been so willing to risk Husk’s soul? Niffty’s?”

Alastor’s ears folded back, and he looked away – knowing he was right.

“Besides…stipulations revoked or not; Charlie has offered me a place to stay now here at the hotel – a permanent and open invitation to be as involved in things now as I wish to be. That little wild card you kept up your sleeve won’t work now, I’m afraid. Your poor judgement very easily could have cost us everything…whatever problems you and I have with each other does not get to bleed into everything else we’re involved with.”

Alastor’s ears only flattened against his head more; eyes drawing further away from him now.

Lucifer was about to say something else when Alastor’s ears suddenly sprung back up; his head tilting. Lucifer paused…

“The little bug is coming back…” Lucifer said quietly, looking toward the door. He glanced back at Alastor and saw the rawness of…sentiment that was still in Alastor’s eyes.

Sighing; Lucifer leant toward him – his hand sliding through the hair at the back of Alastor’s head and pressing his forehead firmly to his.

“We’ll…figure this out, okay.” Lucifer told him, quietly. “I promise, we will…just not right now. But, you and I,” Lucifer pulled his head back, releasing Alastor and looking at him very seriously, “We need to actually fucking talk to each other, alright?”

Alastor gave him a sharp nod before Niffty’s head poked out from around the door.

Her eye went wide – seeing Alastor was sitting up and fully awake now - and she hurried over to the both of them with excitement.

“I’ll let Niffty here take over for awhile.” Lucifer smiled; watching her leap up onto the bed, scurrying across the covers to be closer to Alastor. “She can fill you in on all the juicy details of things you missed out on during the fight.” Lucifer winked at her and she giggled giddily. He knew she really was wanting to tell Alastor all about her having taken care of their pesky Adam problem. “Let me know if either of you need anything…”

Lucifer went to walk away; then pausing at the door, “I’m leaving you in charge, little bug.” Looking at Alastor he added, “She’s got my number now. If you’re not a good patient while I’m gone, I’ll know about it…” He turned, leaving with a smile.

Alastor watched him go; giving Niffty a queer look as she burst into more giggles at the obvious threat made.

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This place reeks of death...

The scent...all that blood and decay...it's overwhelming, isn't it?

There's a chill in the air.

Are you cold? You are trembling...so you must be.

And I barely escaped being killed by a hair... That could have been it, you know...

Snuffed out, just like the young flame that never sees the inferno...

Great Alastor, altruist, died for his friends...

These people?...you could have died for these people...

Sorry to disappoint, that is not where this ends

It can't be...it won't be.

I'm hungry for freedom, like never before

Funny, isn't it...how this happens.

Every time you've let yourself get close to others...you become their sacrifice.

The constraints of my deal surely have a back door

The King of Hell blames himself...

but it's not his deal or even Lilith's deal that has you bound so tightly? Is it?

Once I figure out how to unclip my wings

But we always get what we truly want...in the end... don't we?

Guess who will be pulling all the strings?

We'll have it too. What we want… No matter the cost. No demon and no angel...borne of Heaven or of Hell...will stop us.

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Lucifer was busying himself in his new hotel suite - going about getting the rooms how he liked them: when he had...the compulsion.

He paused, feeling the need to go to Alastor...then, feeling it fade away - just as quickly.

Strange...

If Alastor had truly summoned him...he would have gone without a thought; unable to resist even if had wanted to but...this was different.

Best to go anyway, he reasoned. He hadn't seen Alastor since he left him with Niffty earlier that day.

Niffty had come later to tell him that Alastor was mending well and asked that his ...’babysitters’... respect his privacy for the night.

Ouch. Lucifer had made a face and Niffty giggled.

“He said you wouldn't like that... I'm supposed to tell you ‘it's all in jest’...he appreciates what you've done. He's just...feeling tired, wants to be left alone for a while. He knows he can call on either or both of us if need be.” Niffty told him.

“And, what do you think, little bug?” Knowing Niffty’s opinion would decide things for him.

“I think he deserves the break. We can bother him again in the morning.” She giggled again.

“I like that plan.” Lucifer he had told her and she left to see what the others in the hotel were up to.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer portaled himself into Alastor's hotel suite. When he stepped into the main room, everything was dark and quiet. His eyes shown gold and glowed through the darkness as he moved toward the bedroom.

Did he accidentally try to summon me in his sleep?

"Al?" He asked quietly, pushing the door open so that he could see if Alastor was indeed sleeping.

Alastor was in bed, but he wasn't asleep. The covers, the duvet, everything was pushed off the bed and there was blood and claw marks in the sheets. Alastor was curled tightly in a ball, pressed against the headboard and shaking badly. His eyes glowed red in the dark and his ears were flat, cupping tightly to his head.

"Al..." Lucifer sighed.

He's having a panic attack...I thought he might actually call on me...maybe a part of him meant to, or I felt his distress…

Lucifer moved closer to the bed, bringing out his wings; knowing they had helped Alastor before...

But, when Lucifer came to just beside the bed, Alastor saw the outstretched wings...saw Lucifer reaching for him and he jerked back.

"Don't touch me!" He snapped; recoiling. His shadow shot from underneath the bed – lengthening and bristling protectively over its Master.

Lucifer immediately leant back, folding his wings to his sides.

Alastor's eyes widened...realizing...and he shook more - his own claws were digging gouges into his arms, he was gripping himself so tightly. His shadow readily retreated back.

"I'm sorry..." He gasped. "I...I just..."

"It's okay, Al. I- I've been through it before." Lucifer put away his wings, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Alastor's smile...it always made others question: if he were indeed mad.

Watching Alastor now though, Lucifer knew others would think him truly insane. His smile was stretched long and wide across his face – too long and wide - his teeth were clenched and he was baring his gums. His eyes were wide; shifting and crazy. He didn't seem to know what to do with his hands, gripping and releasing; moving them all over his body - cutting into his skin. His position was awkward, folded and bent tightly against himself.

"You're hurting yourself...did you know?" Lucifer asked him quietly. "Can you feel yourself doing that?"

"I-I..." Alastor's eyes squeezed shut, his lips trembling around pointed teeth. "I can feel..."

"What Al, what can you feel? Tell me." Lucifer was trying to encourage him to talk to him, to distract him.

"It feel likes...him...when it-when he" Alastor shuddered, tightening around himself more and dragging more cuts along his skin.

Fuck...not working.

"Is it the wound, Al...is it hurting you?" Lucifer asked him.

"No, it's....it's..." Alastor shifted, reluctantly lifting an arm away. The wound was glowing softly beneath the skin...like coals from a fire; ebbing and waning as Lucifer's residual power continued to work at the injury.

No wonder he was set off...he was nearly sliced and diced in half by the same holy power that's healing him now...he probably woke up in a cold sweat feeling that very power...seeing it's glow...and everything just teetered tottered from there... Me coming in with my wings really did the trick too.

Alastor shifted back, holding himself tight, shaking and saying nothing.

“What do you need, Al? How can I help?”

“I….I don’t know.” Alastor curled in on himself more; eyes pressing closed and claws digging into himself deeper.

Something...different then.

Lucifer smoothly shifted form, turning himself into an enormous white boa constrictor.

If Alastor noticed him change, he didn't react.

Lucifer's new snake form glided easily along the bed, he traced up the bedpost, winding and following the beam as he stretched along the headboard, his head and neck draping and curling down close to Alastor.

“You know...I know what it feels like...to feel yourself shattered...broken into a thousand crumbling pieces...”

Lucifer spoke to him, drifting closer still; hovering without quite touching Alastor yet.

“I know that feeling...of despair and anguish that swallows you whole...pulling you down with no hope for ever coming back.”

Lucifer flicked his snake tongue; touching Alastor's skin with it - testing his response. Alastor didn't flinch away at the brief contact, and Lucifer thought he may have noted a stutter in Alastor's trembling.

“To feel like....you can never be whole again...that you can never repair the damage that's been made done...”

Lucifer's snake form slowly and smoothly slid from the headboard; sliding across Alastor's heated and damp skin...curling around his neck.

Lucifer felt Alastor's shakes stop; felt Alastor tense as he sucked in a breath of air into his lungs.

Lucifer paused, waiting.

Alastor's shaking returned but...lessened. His breathing was changing...slowing; and he lifted his head.

He was responding.

Satisfied, Lucifer continued to wrap and coil himself all around Alastor's frame...gripping him tightly.

Alastor couldn't be tolerant to Lucifer's touch as he was before but this...this was different.

Something less...intimate somehow, though possibly maybe more... Lucifer's snake form brought touch with different sensations: his warm and smooth scales gliding soothingly across sweating skin, the muscles of this new body moving and contracting - offering only solace; no pressure of reciprocation or elicitation of anything sensual or provocative.

Alastor's shaking hitched again and he pulled in a slow and ragged breath, filling his chest. Lucifer felt tight and tense muscles relaxing beneath him; felt the shakes giving away to soft and infrequent tremors.

“But... you've been broken for some time... haven't you, radio demon. Someone did this to you...made you to feel...to be this way...”

Lucifer's form tightened and there was a release in Alastor that he could only have hoped for. A long breath shuddered out from Alastor and he finally released himself from the tight position he had been holding himself in, retracting the claws from his skin. Fresh blood and fresh tears touched Lucifer's scales.

“Let me make you feel whole again, Alastor. Let me help you to find...to pick up every single lost and broken piece that you've laid...fallen and shattered behind you. Let me help you to find...to remember where each one goes...where it belongs and let me help you finally...be everything you deserve and wish to be.”

Alastor fell apart in his coils...relinquishing himself fully and completely to the raw and visceral emotion of a surrender he never thought he'd find. Lucifer let him process everything: simply staying with him, holding him tightly.

Lucifer’s sharp and golden snake eyes pierced brightly in the dark; the entire length of his form curled and wrapped firmly to Alastor in the bed…refusing to allow Alastor to break from this madness after the fall.

The hotel still needed him.

Lilith still needed him.

Charlie still needed him.

Lucifer still needed him.

…and Lucifer meant to see him rise.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hours later; Lucifer laid awake in bed – back in his own room.

Once Alastor had recovered from the mental attack and had retreated again into shadow, Lucifer slid himself away – leaving him alone to his rest and his privacy.

Alastor’s recent shedding of his antlers was significant. Cervidae demons lost their antlers once they were fully out of a rut or when under great stress. Lucifer imagined Alastor’s experience was with both; and though his new antlers were already fully erupted – Lucifer recognized that Alastor would likely be much more reluctant to anything physical or intimate for some time.

This, and the simple fact that Lucifer just didn’t know where the fuck they were at with things right now, convinced Lucifer it best to leave. Lucifer might have found sleep for himself better had he had stayed…instead of wrestling with the decision here now, but he told himself that if Alastor truly needed him, he’d readily answer to his summons.

Still not having been anywhere close to finding sleep, Lucifer felt the change in the room – felt the coolness of shadows pressing in from the dark.

“Al?”

“Your wards allowed me in.” Alastor said quietly, voice cracking roughly as he materialized beside the bed.

“Of course they did, you are always welcome here.” Lucifer told him, sitting up. “Is there something that you need?”

“Yes…”

Alastor moved to the bed, lifting the covers to slide in beside Lucifer.

Surprised by this, Lucifer readily shifted; giving him room. When Alastor joined him in bed, pressing against him and pulling him to him; Lucifer realized Alastor was fully naked.

Alastor leaned over the King; lips pressing to his in a warm and slow kiss – clawed hands pulling him closer and curling into platinum locks.

Lucifer gently – reluctantly – detached himself, pulling himself away from the kiss.

“Al…I appreciate what you are trying to do here. I really do, but….you’re not even hard. It doesn’t all have to be about sex; I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like it did - and even with that all aside; haven’t you been through enough?”

“I said those things to you, knowing…that it would hurt.” Alastor told him. “It hasn’t just been about the sex, Luci…not for me…not for some time.”

“And, I feel the same way, Al but…I want us to do this right. I don’t want there to be anymore confusion or misunderstandings between us.”

“Then, we’ll talk…but, right now…I need you.” Alastor’s eyes shown red in the dark.

Lucifer swallowed; shaking his head. “You lost your antlers…I know what that means, Al.”

“I’ve told you before…” Alastor told him; reaching for Lucifer’s hand and pulling it with his – showing Lucifer the firmness that was twitching between his legs. “I can get it up, it just will require more coaxing now.”

Lucifer’s face reddened; understanding. “You’re still injured…”

“Hm, yes…” Alastor was pressing Lucifer’s hand to him; encouraging him to palm him there. “You should probably refrain from trying to split me in two, tonight.”

“Another night for that bedtime ritual then…” Lucifer breathed, feeling the twitching rise between his own legs now; and Alastor chuckled.

“Another night.” Alastor whispered his promise, pressing himself back to Lucifer.

This time, Lucifer gave in to the kiss; and they slowly became lost in each other’s embrace.

Lucifer gently licked and kissed at the fresh scar across Alastor’s chest, in a moment of tenderness. The remnants of Lucifer’s power within the healing wound responded, and Alastor felt a pleasurable thrumming beneath his skin; he shuddered at the sensation.

Alastor was incredibly…afraid.

He had never meant for himself to be made vulnerable to anyone again…least of all, the King of Hell. Why was it now, this intimacy – something he had not wanted, something he had avoided for so long – why was it that in these moments with Lucifer he felt truly…whole.

He wanted to recoil at the thought, the very notion…and surely if he foolishly pursued such yearnings of the heart; he would come out more sorely beaten and bruised than he could ever hope to imagine…

Still, there was the fear…not of the undesirable consequences but, of a missed plausibility.

What if; something that could be made real was here and Alastor let it slip away – let it fleetingly pass on by because he was much too coward; too miserably pathetic to seize something that could very well be here now…within his grasp.

He owed Lucifer his life…he owed Lucifer his faith….he owed Lucifer his courage.

It would take time…and there were secrets still kept in the dark, between them, waiting to be dealt with…

But, Alastor would tear down those walls…pulling each one down – piece by piece; until what remained…what he would give to Lucifer….was everything.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following evening…

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Why are you up here?” Alastor asked; finding Lucifer at the roof of the new Hazbin Hotel; leaning over – staring at the rest of the Pride Ring in Hell and smoking a cigarette.

“Oh...shit, uh…” Lucifer quickly debated on tossing the stick but then knew he’d already been caught. “I can't let Charlie catch me with one of these...I-I never smoke.” He explained.

Alastor strolled over to him; eyebrow cocked. He was wearing his dress pants and dress shirt but no jacket or bowtie. The buttons to his shirt were undone at the collar and trailing to his chest. Alastor hated the dragging sensation that his shirt had against the healing wound; he was much more comfortable this way.

“Yeah..neither do I.” Alastor told him, leaning over to takes the cigarette from between Lucifer’s fingers and bringing it to his face for a long inhale. He exhaled, smoke curling from his mouth and he passed the stick back.

“So...what else are you doing up here?” Alastor asked Lucifer; looking out and across the cityscape with him.

“Just killing time, really. I've got that meeting with Lilith later tonight and I'm not really sure what her next move will be. We know that Adam's lieutenant was involved in their deal, that she’s survived… I imagine she’s already confronted Lilith but I really don’t know her plan is.”

“Lilith's been exceptional with anticipating most of Heaven's moves so far.” Alastor mused. “I'm sure she's got something in mind.”

Lucifer shrugged; taking a drag from the cigarette.

“Everyone involved in this has their hands in so many goddamned pots…it’s hard to keep it all straight anymore.” Lucifer sighed.

Alastor nodded; reaching for the cigarette again.

“The city…it’s quiet.” Alastor observed, changing the subject. “Much quieter than one would expect after a recent extermination.”

“The calm before the storm…I’m afraid.” Lucifer sighed, leaning back. “Everyone’s still processing…probably already planning and plotting. There will be a big upheaval with things around here after this, rest assured.” Lucifer pushed off away from the roof, tired of the view.

Slumping down; he slid his back against barrier – sitting down now.

“When is your meeting?” Alastor asked, joining him and giving him back the cigarette.

“Not for another few hours.” Lucifer told him, taking the stick back from him.

“You…uh,” Alastor swallowed and Lucifer looked at him, curious. “Well, you said we should talk…would you want to do that now?”

“Hm, yes.” Lucifer nodded; holding the cigarette between his lips and nodding. “But, hold on…I brought these.”

He leaned over; sliding a crate over that Alastor hadn’t noticed before. Reaching in, Lucifer pulled out a new, unopened bottle of the Sazerac they had both found that they liked. He handed it to Alastor then reached back in for two drinking glasses.

“Oh, you….clever devil.” Alastor hissed at him. “Was this a trap this whole time!?”

“Hey!” Lucifer pulled the cigarette from his mouth, tapping it. “Lilith is not the only one who can lay out well made plan, my friend.”

Lucifer placed the cigarette back into his mouth; taking the bottle from Alastor, he opened it and poured them both some booze.

“So...I propose a deal.” Lucifer announced; lifting Alastor’s glass. “No! Not a real deal. Stop looking at me like that...but, how about: you first tell me everything you're comfortable with regarding any less than savory relationships...sexual experiences, etc...that you have had; and I'll tell you everything about my fall from Heaven...then, we can delve into the nitty gritty; talking about what you and I actually want, what we expect from each other and yadda yadda.”

“Doesn't everyone kind of already know that story?” Alastor teased him.

“Some versions of it, yes…but, you’d be getting the one straight from the serpent’s mouth.” Lucifer flashed him a coy smile and offering him the drink.

“Fine.” Alastor begrudgingly agreed. “Give me that drink and light another one of those cigarettes.

Alastor and Lucifer talked.

Both shared things with each other that they never knew they could or would share with anyone ever again.

And, when they were done: they knew what they wanted from each other, what they meant to each other…and come what may: they knew they would face it...together.

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P.S. After talking, they drunkenly started making out on the roof of the hotel

P.S.S. Drunkenly making out may have led to more things…

P.S.S.S. Lucifer went to his meeting with Lilith and she teased him about his still-healing bite marks..

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Taglist: @nyx91: @reath-solia

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fandom #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #fanfiction #hazbin hotel fanfiction #radioapple #lucifer morningstar #appleradio #hazbin lucifer #alastor and lucifer #alastor x lucifer #lucifer x alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer magne #no one can know...#no one can know... fanfic #the radio demon

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emepe · 9 months ago

Text

— Pairing: Eren x Reader, friends to lovers

— General info: series, 18+, modern AU, serial killer AU, smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

— Summary: Fate is a tricky thing. Certain situations can’t be avoided as much as certain people’s lives can’t be kept from intertwining. With a serial killer on the loose, and unexpected relationships blooming, how will the universe intervene?

— Chapter summary: The news of the recent murder takes a toll on everyone, leaving each to cope in their own anxious ways.

— Content warnings: mention of murder, mention of self defense weapons.

— Notes: Hello, everybody! Welcome to chapter 6 <3 Thank you so much to everybody who has shown support for this story, especially those who have joined the tag list. If anyone else would like to be added, lmk. Happy reading!

Links: Read on AO3 | Chapter guide | Masterlist

conversations on love and fear

The next morning at work, you're surprised to find Armin leaning back in your chair when you arrive at your desk.

“Shouldn't you be crunching numbers somewhere?” you tease, shrugging off your jacket.

“I'm here for our daily gossip session,” he pouts.

You laugh softly and gesture for him to follow you to the break room. He jumps from your chair and eagerly follows your lead.

“Since when do we have those?” you ask, taking out your mug from the cupboards to fix yourself a cup of tea to have while you go through your morning to-do list.

A sly grin is plastered on his face.

“Since you started dating Eren.”

Normally, you're good at hiding your emotions. A neutral expression and an unfazed manner are your go-to for any situation. A blunder at work, a rude client taking out their anger on you, misogyny, unwanted flirting — you handle everything with grace and composure. But normally, you're not as emotionally invested in someone as you've quickly come to be about Eren.

You're quick to hide your face, embarrassed by how easily shy a name can make you when just a few weeks ago you were still your stoic self.

You understand their friendship dynamics well enough to figure Armin wouldn't be kept out of the loop for long, but this is fast.

Armin chuckles airily. It's cute, this new side of you.

“I didn't mean to keep it from you,” you murmur, your cheeks burning as you bob the tea bag up and down in your mug before sweetening your drink. “It just kind of happened.”

“No, I get it,” he grins. “I'm happy for you two.”

You bite back a smile but nod appreciatively.

“Eren really likes you.”

“I know,” you murmur, heart fluttering at the memory of Eren's honesty. You bring the mug to your lips, blowing into it before taking your first sip.

“And you seem to really like him, too. I've never seen you like this.”

The tea gets caught in your throat, eliciting a brief fit of coughs.

Armin can't help but laugh once you're out of immediate danger.

“Oh, you really really like him, then. Way to go, Eren,” he teases.

Your face burns tenfold.

Worried that someone might overhear you, you usher Armin onto the smoker's balcony on your side of the floor. It's too early for anyone to be out there, so it's the perfect spot for you to be honest.

“I… I really do.”

Your entire body is burning up now. Much so that the warmth emanating from your mug overstimulates your senses and you've no choice but to set it down on the concrete railing.

Gaze low, wandering eyes, fidgeting hands — Armin's surprised.

“You're serious about this,” he concludes.

Peering up at him through your lashes, you nod.

“I don't know what to do,” you murmur. “I didn't expect to like him so much and now every time I think of him I feel like I'm about to pass out.”

Your voice quivers but your eyes shimmer brightly as his face inevitably comes to mind. His warm hands, his gentle voice encouraging you to trust him, his boyish laugh, the blush on his cheeks whenever you praise him. You're always so confident when acknowledging his fondness of you, and you kept joking about having many admirers but now it gnaws at your brain to think about someone else looking to get his attention. It's all too much.

“Goddamn, that must've been one hell of a first date,” he exhales.

Armin's choice of words pulls an amused giggle from you, easing the tension that squeezes at your heart.

“It was.”

Your gaze wanders off as you lose yourself in thought.

Eren hasn't left your mind since he dropped you off at your apartment door yesterday evening. The carefully planned date, the honest conversation and the kisses you shared even found a way to sneak into last night's dreams, your subconscious further feeding into your swooning frenzy and leaving you to wake up unusually happy.

But as life has taught you, having something good doesn't mean you get to keep it forever, and if you want Eren to stick around you have to be more open about the things that haunt you — for both of your sake. You want to keep talking to him, to know him, to see more of his face, and to witness every side there is to him. You haven't outright said it because though you might appear to be, you're not as brave as he is.

So hearing him say he wants to know you just as much leaves you thinking his wish might be twice as strong as yours, for him to express it so many times in so many ways.

“You okay?” Armin's voice pulls you back.

Your lips part for you to spill what's heavy on your mind, but you fumble to find the right words without feeling more shy.

“Hey, Eren's my best friend but if you need to talk shit about him, I can listen. You're my friend, too.”

You giggle. He smiles.

“Though, I guess now I've lost you both to each other,” he theatrically sniffles as he pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. “I really didn't think this through when I introduced you to each other. What am I gonna do with no friends?”

You laugh.

“Actually,” you softly call for his attention. “Is it okay if I ask you about some things? About Eren… and about myself?”

His head tilts in confusion at the last part, but he smiles and nods nonetheless.

“Shoot.”

Nursing your mug between your hands, you carefully take another sip of your tea before speaking.

“First… um.”

You blink nervously as the uneasy warmth starts crawling up your neck again.

“Do you know if Eren is talking to other people? Aside from me?”

The question feels stupid once it falls from your lips, but Armin gives off no indication that he views it the same way.

With a firm shake of his head and furrowed brows, he clicks his tongue in disapproval.

“Eren? No, definitely not. I love the guy but even if he wanted to, he can't flirt with multiple people at a time for the life of him.”

You nod, letting the information sink in.

“Don't get me wrong,” Armin continues. “He has a line of people wanting to get close to him. It's been that way forever.”

Your heart sinks with dread. You figured as much. After all, Eren is an attractive guy and his personality makes for someone desirable in all aspects.

“But he's never been one to give in to any attention just because it's there, you know?”

You nod slowly, though you don't fully understand what that means.

“What I'm saying is, Eren's the kind of guy who doesn't care about that kind of thing. He only pursues someone he genuinely wants to know. And once that happens, he's all in. Other than that, he just keeps to himself.”

With more clarity on the situation, you nod with more certainty. But Armin's not done.

“He hadn't liked someone in years until you came around. That should tell you something,” he smiles.

You flush in embarrassment.

“Oh, but don't feel pressured!” Armin exclaims. “I just meant you shouldn't have to worry about this sort of thing.”

He throws an arm around your shoulders, squeezing your frame affectionately.

“Anything else on your mind?” he asks.

You hum as you go through the ideas in your head.

“It's not really a question,” you say. “And now that I think about it, it probably doesn't make sense to bring it up because I haven't been exactly open about it with you, either.”

You shrink into yourself, wincing at the memory of Armin's fallen demeanor the night he found out about your parents.

“That's fine,” he reassures you with a smile, petting your back in a comforting manner. “I know some things are hard to say sometimes. It's not really my place to call dibs on who you should trust.”

“But still,” you murmur. “We're friends, right?”

He nods.

“I just don't want you to be disappointed by my lack of honesty.”

He frowns.

“I wouldn't call it that,” he sternly replies. “You don't have to tell me more than you already have for me to understand you had a rough upbringing. And you're not being deceitful or purposely hiding things… but it doesn't come easy, that's all. Some things are better kept private, it's your call.”

Tears prick at your eyes as your body releases tension you weren't even aware of. For the longest time, you've tried your best to avoid being a liability. At the same time, once Armin came into your life, you struggled to reciprocate his open nature. Once Eren was in the picture, so desperate to know you, you scrambled to cement boundaries. But truth be told, you were consumed by the anxiety that he might walk away from your stubbornness and you'd lose his affection. Being told you're not an awful person for being closed off brings peace to your weary heart.

“That being said, I promise it wouldn't be the end of the world if you chose to let someone in. Have it be me, Eren, or anyone else. We're all here for you as your friends. I don't think it compares to professional help but for a support system, we're pretty solid. You can trust us.”

Quietly, you nod with a serious expression.

Armin contemplates your pensive features for a long, quiet minute.

“Is that what you're having trouble with, with Eren?”

Meekly and with your bottom lip between your teeth, you nod.

“I've told him some stuff. Nothing too serious, just pretty surface-level things but… he keeps saying he wants to know everything about me.”

Armin smiles crookedly.

“Is that a bad thing?”

The question echoes in your ears as you force yourself to contemplate it.

It's not a bad thing for someone to be so willing to figure you out because they care. But the never-ending worries always slip through the cracks. Will he be okay dealing with the weight of your past? Will it somehow change his mind and push him away? Will he somehow empathize with everyone else's point of view and ultimately decide you're difficult to love? Not worthy? That you're too much trouble?

“I want to be good for him.”

Armin’s gaze softens. It’s inappropriate given the tone of the conversation, but he can’t ignore how much more adorable your demeanor has gotten in such little time. Eren must have saved a country in his past life to have you so smitten.

He pats your head affectionately, like that of a father comforting his kid.

“What makes you think you’re not?”

Your bottom lip quivers as you open your mouth to emit a string of fearful but honest whispers.

“Eren’s so nice… I just worry I have too much baggage and he’ll feel obligated to stick around. I don't want to be a burden.”

The mug of tea has grown cold in your hands and the autumn wind sweeps away your confession, carrying it to unknown destinations while its ghost lingers between you and Armin.

It’s a long, painful silence before Armin’s voice slices through it with the wisdom you’ve come to admire.

“Listen. I think you're a pretty remarkable person. And nobody gets to pick the cards they're dealt. I don't think you have to conceal parts of yourself and if someone makes you feel like you do, then you leave. There’s no perfect right person but a right person for you will stick around because they want to… baggage included.”

Eren’s computer screen is littered with multiple tabs and video-editing software. The fan practically sounds like it’s about to lift the CPU into a different dimension. It doesn’t help that his mind keeps straying from the workload before him by conjuring the headlines he saw earlier this morning.

Normally, he’s so efficient. He loves his job so much, it’s basically a fun time. But not when someone he cares about is in potential danger. Now, it’s just work.

“Just two months ago, our city was struck by the brutal murder of twenty-six year old Ilse Langnar. And now another woman was murdered? What is going on?” a comment on a public forum read.

His knee bounces incessantly as his eyes aimlessly wander his screen through his glasses, and he’s continuously forcing himself to go through the same clips over and over again because he keeps forgetting what’s been done and what needs to be.

For the umpteenth time, he huffs in frustration, running an anxious hand through his hair.

He simply cannot focus today.

As if someone out there can sense his lack of discipline today, they come in with an easy distraction. Eren’s phone buzzes on his desk, promptly pulling his attention from the loopy chaos in his head.

“Is mace the same thing as pepper spray?” a masculine voice comes from the other end.

Eren pulls the phone from his ear just long enough to get a look at the name on the screen.

“Jean?”

Normally, Jean would quip a comment about how offended he is that Eren can’t even recognize his voice through the phone. But not today. His words are rushed and there’s plenty of movement from his side.

“I’m at a store buying some stuff for Mikasa but I can’t figure out which one is better. I think Mace is the brand? Because it says pepper spray in the description but there’s also one that says water trainer… what the fuck is that?”

Eren’s already pulling on a jacket before Jean can even finish venting his frustrations on other confusing terms.

“Which store?”

“Huh?”

“Which store, Jean?”

“Ammo. It’s on Reiss. Why?”

With his phone snuggled between his ear and shoulder, Eren clumsily pulls on his shoes and snatches his keys from the small dish in the foyer.

“Send me the location. I’ll be right there.”

He hangs up the call, trusting Jean to fulfill his request as he walks out of his apartment and to the parking garage.

Eren walks into the shady-looking shop. There’s an arrangement of weapons everywhere his eyes fall, the most dangerous ones displayed behind hefty locked glass doors on the other side of the counter.

Upon entry, Eren’s hit with several once-overs from the clientele scattered through the aisles closest to the door. He nods politely at the buff man in his immediate view, hoping he doesn’t seem too lost.

His eyes search for a familiar tuft of ash-brown hair over the aisles. As soon as he finds him, he makes a beeline.

“Jesus Christ, Jean. Why’d you pick this place?” he hisses. “You couldn’t have gone to a sports goods store or something? The grocery store, even. They have stuff there, too.”

Jean dismisses him with a wave of his hand and instead shows him the collection of items in his basket.

“Look, I got some pepper spray for the girls.” He holds up a package with two different colored products bound in plastic and cardboard. “Turns out the water trainer is just a cartridge with water so you learn how to use it without wasting any product.”

Eren peers into Jean’s basket, making note of every product he’s picked up. Pepper spray, tasers, and personal safety alarms — all in sets of three.

“What?” Jean asks, looking back into the basket on his arm upon noticing Eren’s wandering eyes.

“There’s three of each,” Eren simply says.

“Well, duh,” Jean scoffs.

One by one, he raises three fingers, listing off a name for each — Mikasa’s, Sasha’s, and yours.

“She’s gonna need this stuff, too,” he adds.

Eren’s lips curl inwards, but he follows up with an appreciative smile.

“Thanks, buddy.”

Jean mirrors his expression, tying it off with a brotherly pat on Eren’s back.

“You can pay me back in installments, I don’t mind.”

Jean walks off toward the cash register, leaving Eren to contemplate the nearly endearing exchange with pursed lips.

The men go through the line and exit the store together.

“So you saw the news, too, huh?” Jean asks as he absentmindedly swings his keys around his index finger on the way to the consecutive spaces where both men’s cars are parked.

“This morning,” Eren murmurs. “I haven’t been able to focus on work.”

“Me neither,” Jean mutters. “I drove over to Mikasa’s at two in the morning to make sure she was okay because I kept freaking out every two minutes.”

“How is she?”

“She was a little annoyed I woke her up but she let me stay the night.”

Eren chews on the inside of his cheek as he contemplates whether or not it’d be weird for him to show up unannounced at your apartment like Jean did with Mikasa. If he had known about the recent murder the night before, he would’ve definitely raced back to your place. But he supposes you’re not at that place in your relationship yet.

They reach their cars but neither makes a move to part ways. They both lean against the trunk of Eren’s car.

“Has Levi said anything, though?” Eren asks.

“Nah, just keeps telling her to stay safe,” Jean replies with a shake of his head. “It’s a little weird, though. You think it’s the same person from September?”

Eren shrugs but Jean sees right through his dismissive behavior.

“I do, too, to be honest. It’s pretty scary shit,” Jean’s voice shrinks with every word.

“Yeah, it is,” Eren admits. “And if Levi is being so cryptic it’s probably because he has to.”

Both men stand together in silence for a moment, unsure of how to part ways on such a somber note but finding too much comfort in each other’s company to bid goodbye.

Eren sighs heavily as he mindlessly traces the line of a crack in the asphalt with the tip of his foot.

“Hey, congratulations, by the way,” Jean says.

Eren looks up at him, eyebrows knit in confusion. It’s not until Jean pronounces your name that he understands what he’s referring to.

“You guys are going out now, right?” Jean grins.

Eren blushes, a smile instantly working its way onto his face upon hearing the words from someone else’s mouth. It’s a good feeling, to be reminded of this new beginning in his life.

“Thanks,” he laughs. Then pauses. “Wait, how did you know that?”

Jean nervously scoffs as he avoids Eren’s piercing emerald gaze.

“Um… you told me? How else?”

Eren’s eyes narrow; Jean gives in easily — partially.

“Fine, Armin’s been yapping away about it but he made me promise I wouldn’t say he told me. He’s a huge blabbermouth, you know?”

He discreetly breathes a sigh of relief when Eren doesn’t press further, seemingly accepting his word as the truth. After all, Armin was supposed to be the only one to know the details so far.

“Figures,” Eren mutters with a shake of his head, but a pleased smile threatens to tug on his lips at the thought of everyone else finding out.

“You think she's the one?” Jean abruptly asks, already preparing to tease him.

When Eren turns to look at him, he's got a shy smile playing on his features.

“Come on,” he says.

Jean throws his hands up in the air.

“Come on, what? It's a valid question. We're on our way to thirty.”

“We've only been on one date,” Eren replies, as if that's an answer in itself.

“So? You were into her from the start, weren't you?”

Eren blushes, still embarrassed that everyone was aware of his crush.

“Yeah,” he meekly replies.

Jean looks off into the distance, smiling over Eren's bashful demeanor. Though not blatantly obvious about it, he cares for Eren like a brother. It's just a lot more fun to bicker and annoy each other. That's not to say he lacks appreciation for heart to heart conversations like this.

“I knew Mikasa was the one pretty fast,” he confesses.

A chuckle escapes Eren's lips.

“Well, yeah, but you guys were years in the making.”

“Even so,” Jean murmurs. “I knew she was the one since we were kids.”

“Jean, she used to bully you in fifth grade,” Eren reminds him. “She beat you up because you wouldn't stop following her around like a lost puppy.”

Jean bites back a grin, cheeks dusted with pink at the memory.

“What can I say? I have a thing for pretty girls with a killer punch.”

The two men share a laugh.

It's moments like this, that break the chaotic pattern in their dynamic, that reminds them their relationship goes beyond eye rolls and snappy comments.

“You know I'm proposing soon?”

Eren turns to look at Jean, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Seriously?”

Jean glances at him proudly.

“Mhm… This December. I've got the whole thing planned. We're spending the holidays at her family's cabin. I'll do it then. I already talked about it with her parents.”

An immense sense of pride swells in Eren's chest at the news. He always figured his friends were on their way to forever, but the admission to something concrete makes him incredibly happy.

“What if she says no?” he teases, dipping into his usual ways out of habit.

“She won't,” Jean firmly states without missing a beat. “I love her and she loves me. It's like you said, we're years in the making.”

He throws his head back to look at the cloudy pale blue sky.

“I'm gonna give her her dream wedding. It'll be the event of the century,” he gushes, then side-eyes Eren with a smirk. “I'm sure someone will invite you as their plus one.”

Eren rolls his eyes.

“Haha.”

“I'm kidding,” Jean laughs. “But with all this… what I mean to say is, when you know, you know.”

Eren thinks for a moment.

Has he ever known?

He certainly feels something — a very special way about you. There's not many experiences to compare it to but it certainly feels different somehow when he recalls his last and only girlfriend so far. His caring persona has always been present. The blushing cheeks, the shy confessions. But was instant nature enough to call your situation different? He's never been so eager, never felt so hurt at the thought of someone in pain, never felt so inclined to embrace someone with everything he has, never felt so fascinated by someone.

But that's normal in the honeymoon stage, is it not?

Jean slices through his thoughts.

“And you don't have to think so much about it because it really just hits you out of nowhere. One day you meet a girl and you just can't bring yourself to stop looking at her because she's the prettiest human you've ever seen. You'll come up with excuses to spend as much time as you can with her. You'll want to know everything about her, see every side to her there is — the good, the bad, the ugly… you won't want to miss a single thing. You'll feel yourself falling so deeply in love it drives you crazy. She'll be everything. Your world will start and end with her. It sounds insane but trust me, it's the best feeling ever.”

Eren peers at Jean's expression. He's got a ditzy air about him, a lazy smile stretched across his face. He meets his gaze, suddenly serious.

“I know Armin's your number one for everything but… if one day you decide this girl is the one… call me up first, for once.”

Eren's features soften.

“I'll fucking blow up a thousand balloons to celebrate.”

He laughs at the offer, recalling an image of himself rushing to blow up the balloon letters for the night Jean made things official with Mikasa.

“I will.”

An accomplice's smile is exchanged between them. Jean is the first to stand.

“Kay… well, I should really get back to work,” he says, fishing his phone out of his jacket to look at the time. “My boss is gonna kill me if I go over on my lunch— dammit!”

Eren watches amusedly as Jean rushes to the driver's seat and starts his car, throwing a hasty goodbye over his shoulder.

Before he can peel the car from its spot, Eren walks over and taps on the window, calling Jean's name.

“What?” Jean huffs, annoyed at the delay. But Eren only smiles.

“Just wanted to say thanks.”

Jean's features twitch in surprise, but he's quick to replace it with an amused eye roll.

“Anytime, Jaeger.”

Armin's back at your desk at the end of the day, hands in his jacket pockets and waiting in silence.

“Give me a minute,” you say, briefly glancing at him in between placing an order for office supplies before you leave.

He nods, wandering off to a cluster of cubicles and slumping into the chair of an empty desk, spinning around a few times while you finish up.

Several clicks later, you head to the building's lobby together. As the elevator goes down, Armin turns to you with concern.

“Hey, you want me to ride the bus with you?”

You tilt your head in confusion.

“Just to make sure you make it home safely,” he explains.

You wave your hands in front of you, dismissing the idea.

All day, the office has been rattled by the news of the Halloween party murder. It started with a simple ‘Did you see the news last night?’ and went on to become a trending topic amongst your coworkers.

It was a bit off-putting that everyone seemed so eager to talk about it, like they'd been waiting for someone to bring it up first so they could go through the details of the story over and over in one morbid loop, until they could feel themselves growing numb at the tragedy.

It's true you're still a bit rattled from last night's news, which is likely to be the same reason Armin's offering to do much more than walk with you to the bus stop, but you don't want to give him any trouble.

“I'm good,” you say. “Besides, by the time you get back it'll be dark out.”

Armin parts his lips to ask if you're sure, but his question is cut off by the sound of your phone buzzing in your pocket.

He catches a glimpse of Eren's name flashing on the screen.

“Hello?”

Armin watches you exchange a brief series of quiet words into the call. When you hang up and he asks you what happened, you seem mildly flustered.

“Eren's waiting for me in the parking lot,” you murmur.

The two of you make your way out the building, searching for Eren's navy blue sedan. It's a quick task, given that Eren's standing right in front of it, looking out for you as well. He waves you over once your eyes meet.

Armin and him share a brotherly handshake before he steps closer to you and murmurs a gentle hey.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, taken aback by his sudden appearance.

“I thought you could use a ride home,” he explains nonchalantly.

You hesitate, a hint of guilt gnawing at you from the inside. You're grateful for the offer, but it bears a weight on your shoulders that he went out of his way to pick you up. It's the same as if Armin had kept you company on the bus. He doesn't have to do that, it's out of his way and it would only get him back home later than he needs to be, while you're the only one who ends up benefitting.

Eren senses your hesitation and glances at Armin for clues.

He's quick to recall the conversation you had this morning, where you let it slip through the cracks that you don't want to be a burden to anybody.

“Come on,” Armin smiles at you. “He's dropping me off, too. Right, buddy?”

Eren's quick to follow his lead, nodding with vehemence.

“Yeah, of course.”

Your gaze flickers between both men, who just smile at you — one with concern, the other with encouragement.

Finally, you nod and slip into the copilot seat as Eren holds the door open for you.

The ride is quiet on your end, save for when Eren asks about your day and you briefly tell him it was fine and ordinary, leaving Armin to do most of the talking.

Armin's the first to be dropped off, as he lives a mere five blocks from the office. But the journey to your apartment building is much longer than a couple of minutes, and it's consumed by silence most of the way there.

Eren allows you to keep to yourself during the ride, though he can't ignore the concern that weighs his stomach down at the idea that showing up so suddenly might’ve caused you discomfort.

But if it means you'll for sure make it home in one piece while there's a criminal running wild on the streets attacking women of your likeness, he'll bear the uneasy consequences.

“Here,” he says, holding out a plastic bag for you to take once you're both at your apartment door.

“What's this?”

You peer into the bag, eyes widening slightly at the self defense weapons inside. When you look back up at him, he's got a stern air about him.

“It's dangerous right now. I want you to be safe.”

“You didn't have to spend your money on this,” you murmur, brows furrowed. “I'll pay you back for everything.”

Eren shakes his head, holding your wrist down to keep you from pulling out your phone.

“Just take it,” he sighs. “Please.”

Eren's pleading gaze scans your features, heart shrinking at the detection of a hint of discomfort on your behalf. You blink several times, a sign that you're nervous about something. But you murmur a strained thanks in the end as you hook the bag on your wrist.

He exhales a sigh of relief.

“I better get going,” he says, brushing a hand through his hair before leaning closer to kiss you goodbye, but you turn your face at the last second, letting his lips press into your cheek instead.

Eren steps back, embarrassed by the exchange but choosing not to say anything. Just worriedly searching your face, hoping you'll meet his gaze with the same tenderness you granted him just yesterday.

But you don't. You keep your gaze low, so he can't even try to get a read on you, and murmur a solemn goodbye before shutting the door behind you.

Eren's parked in front of your building when you walk out the main entrance the next morning.

He calls your name gently, careful not to startle you when you nearly miss his presence.

You slide into your designated seat without a hint of protest this time, but you keep to yourself, much like the night before.

Eren keeps glancing in your direction at every red light, racking his brain for a way to get you to talk to him. It's just the two of you in the car, after all.

His mouth opens a few times, only to be promptly shut when he fails to find any words.

Surprisingly, you're the first to speak.

“You really don't have to do this.”

Normally, when people make such a polite rejection it's because they secretly want the other person to stop — because their actions make them uncomfortable or because it's annoying — or simply to seem polite because, truth be told, they enjoy being tended to.

But you actually like that he wants to take care of you this way. You like it so much it scares you that you'll start relying on his kind nature too much. The guilt that stems from his willingness to do things for you is suffocating. No matter how pleasant it is for you, you're far more worried about robbing Eren of his time and energy. Even if it's his idea, you don't want him to think you're spoiled.

“I'm doing it because I want to,” he murmurs, stepping on the gas pedal as soon as the light turns green. “There's someone out there attacking women… You're safer this way. You don't have to take the bus anymore.” He smiles. “Think of it as one of the many perks you get out of dating Eren Jaeger.”

The reminder of a criminal freely roaming the streets you've walked on sends a shiver down your spine.

Eren spares quick glances at your troubled expression.

Why do you seem so conflicted over him trying to keep you safe?

“I'm allowed to worry about you, you know,” he gently expresses, his voice as warm and comforting as ever.

It only makes the knot in your stomach tighten.

“And I'm saying you don't have to.”

You didn't mean to sound harsh, but Eren's upturned eyebrows tell you otherwise.

“Why are you so upset over this?”

He doesn't mean to raise his voice the slightest bit out of frustration, but it makes you shrink in your seat anyway.

Eren's features shift from upset to defeat. Neither of you exchange a word until he pulls up in front of your office building.

“I'm doing this because I care,” he murmurs, voice falling back to the gentle tone he reserves for you.

“I can take care of myself.”

You intended to sound confident — defiant, even. Like some rebellious teenager who refuses to be taken as a child.

“I know,” he says. “But that doesn't mean I can't.”

Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth, which chew nervously on the skin while you find a way to retaliate.

“I don't want to burden you.”

Eren's heart sinks, gaze softening as he reaches over the center console to lift your chin between two fingers.

“You could never.”

You shake your head.

“Saying that doesn't mean anything to me.”

“I'll show you I mean it, then.”

There's so much warmth in his cool-toned gaze. He looks pained almost, silently pleading through his eyes to allow him to do something as simple as drive you to work. To him, it's far from a bother. In fact, it brings him peace. Not to mention he enjoys the extra minutes he gets to spend with you.

An annoyed honk from the car pulling up behind you startles you from Eren's warm stare, forcing you to pull away from his touch to gather your things.

Eren's hand latches onto your wrist before you can open the door to get out.

“Wait.”

You look back, ready to remind him someone is waiting behind you. But his upturned eyebrows and the concerned glassiness in his eyes stop you from uttering a word.

“Are we good?” he murmurs, voice laced with helplessness.

It's the look of a kicked puppy that has your stomach churning with guilt.

You nod, quickly leaning over to press a kiss onto his cheek, but without the bright expression that would calm his nerves.

“I'll be back at six,” he calls behind you before driving away, still confused and anxious.

The hours of your day go by slowly, consumed by the exchange in Eren's car.

All too overwhelmed by the idea of potentially becoming a nuisance to him, it never occurred to you that you could cause him equal distress by refusing any act of service he offers. Being good for him also means granting his wish to take care of you.

You're such a jerk, you think to yourself. What happened to craving his care?

There's a fine line between relatively good traits morphing into negative ones. Devotion can transform into obsession, loyalty can turn into blind foolishness, confidence can evolve into arrogance, and so on.

There also comes a point when one's insecurities evolve into genuine fatal flaws if you don't do anything to handle them with care. So much concern over being a liability might just end up costing you your relationship with Eren before it even reaches the good part. If you keep pushing him away and make him feel as though there's no room in your life for his kind-natured feelings, you may as well continue living in solitude.

The ride back to your apartment at the end of the day is as silent as the last time.

There's no flirty banter, no teasing, no laced hands as you find the way to your apartment, no shy smiles.

Eren waits for the lock on your door to click open, as per usual, before stepping back and forcing a smile.

He murmurs a goodbye and you helplessly stare at his back as he takes the first couple of steps down the hall.

But just as he's about to take a third, he turns on his heel and makes his way back to you.

“I know you're mad,” his voice is weak, and a nervous stutter slips through but there's a determination lacing every word. “I get that it might be weird for me to show up out of the blue at your job and insist on driving you wherever you need to go, but I already told you that you can't stop me from worrying about you, I want to make sure you're safe an–”

You desperately wish to hear everything he has to say, but the need to kiss the sadness from his face outweighs it.

Your lips slot carefully between his, your guilt relieved by his sudden call-out. You hate being scolded. It makes you feel small and worthless, drained of any confidence that would allow you to defend yourself. But he's done it so kindly and while wearing such a vulnerable expression, it makes your heart soften.

He melts into the kiss, his hands instantly finding a home around your waist, pulling you closer while he tries not to spill any tears that were already threatening to stream down his face while laying down his convictions.

His eyebrows furrow in concentration as you cradle his face in your hands, tenderly kissing him, absorbing his relieved sighs.

After two days of scarce physical contact, thinking you've been too upset to kiss him as you usually do, this is absolute heaven.

“I'm not mad,” you murmur, as you pull away, brow furrowed and eyes lined with tears.

“Well, I know that now,” he sniffles as he caresses your cheek. “Talk to me.”

You clear your throat, unsure if the middle of a hallway is an acceptable place to have a heart to heart conversation, but unwilling to put a stop to the feather-like strokes his thumb traces on the apple of your cheek as he waits for you to speak your mind.

“Everything between us is so new,” you begin. “You have to give me some time to get used to this.”

He blinks several times as he tries to understand what you just said.

“Dating?” he asks.

“Everything.”

You blink up at him, tear droplets clinging to your lashes.

“When I say you don't have to do certain things it's because I don't want to make your life harder. I don't want to be a nuisance.”

“You're not, baby, I swear.”

The affectionate term slips from Eren's tongue without premeditation.

“Not yet,” your voice cracks. “I don't want you to get sick of me, I already like you too much.”

The tears spill down your cheeks as suddenly as your trembling confession rolls off your tongue.

Your words form a lump in Eren's throat. Though your admission is sweet in nature, no force could keep his heart from crumbling at the sight of your weary eyes, glossy with tears that continuously stream down your cheeks. Nothing has ever hurt so much.

His strong arms envelop you in a warm embrace so tight you're positive he's trying to glue you back together by force. Your childlike sobs are muffled against his chest — hiccups, shuddered breaths, and all.

“I'm selfish and I like it too much when you take care of me but if I start relying too much on your kindness, I'll start burdening you and you'll leave,” you cry into his shirt. You're almost certain you've messed up his clothes with your tears and streaks of your makeup, but Eren couldn't care less.

“That's not going to happen, I'll make sure to prove it to you,” he vows while pressing velvet kisses onto your hair. “I'll be happy if I'm the first person you run to for anything you need.”

Loosening his hold on your frame, he leans back to look at your face. It's full of streaks of dried tears traced with makeup, your eyes puffy from your brief but intense crying, and a ghost of a pout on your lips.

A hushed chuckle bubbles up his throat. His eyes crinkle in further amusement when you accentuate your pout at him for laughing.

“You silly girl,” he murmurs, pressing you back into his chest. “Don't you realize how much I like you?”

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