#introduction of research paper

[designatedloveinterest]

not that you should do anything I do, but I've been using tampons for forty years, usually leaving them in overnight. My health sucks ass but there are many, many factors in line ahead of the cotton wads.

this post is fearmongering. the results of this study are concerning and should definitely be a matter of public discussion, but this is certainly not the conclusion the researchers came to.

the point of the study was to assess the risks of exposure to toxic metals- something one of the co-authors notes are “ubiquitous” fwiw- via menstrual products. Their research confirmed that these metals are indeed present in tampons, but no further conclusions are drawn. it is possible the metal entered into the cotton from the soil, which is a well-known phenomenon; cotton is so good at lifting heavy metals that it has actually been suggested as a part of the solution for revitalizing polluted ground.

the authors conclude with an acknowledgement that the study should be repeated- their sample size was 60 tampons- and a suggestion that further testing ought to be done to indicate whether or not these metals can even leech out of the tampon in the first place, let alone whether or not such leeching could occur at levels deleterious to human health.

there is, in fact, a body of research- too small, for sure, but much larger than this single study- indicating that long-term proper tampon use has no observable negative impact on health. i am grateful and thrilled that more research is being done and i hope that this study is the first of many on this line of questioning, but i am really frustrated at this post and the response it got.

obviously, if this study alters your approach to menstrual health, more power to you. consumers should be informed-risk-takers, and menstrual health is double-obviously a very personal choice. but it definitely wasn't the researchers concluding that you ought to “avoid using tampons at all cost," only this tumblr user did. the lead author of the paper, in fact, specifically says that she hopes people do NOT panic about the results.

(the notes of the post were disappointing. people affirming that they knew they were right to be suspicious of tampons all along, or even recommending alternatives that actually have very little to no research regarding the safety of long-term use, etc. it’s a different conversation, but categorical distrust of tampons is old-school misogyny. you certainly shouldn't wear them if you don’t want to, but there is nothing inherently scary or wrong about them, and people who prefer them are not being reckless or crass.)

((if you're really worried about exposure to heavy metals, you may want to turn a critical eye to fast fashion, as an aside))

[projectchampionz]

DESIGN AN ENHANCED INTRUSION DETECTION MODEL IN A CLOUD COMPUTING ENVIRONMENT. 

DESIGN AN ENHANCED INTRUSION DETECTION MODEL IN A CLOUD COMPUTING ENVIRONMENT ABSTRACT Cloud computing is a new type of service that provides large-scale computing resources to each customer. Cloud computing systems can be easily threatened by various cyberattacks because most cloud computing systems provide services to so many people who are not proven to be trustworthy. Therefore, a cloud…

[gnomewithalaptop]

I'm literally about to pass out what does cognitive linguistics even mean

[invisiblyvisiblejay]

ive somehow written a 3 page introduction using 10 sources 🧍

[heartsfromia]

knight in shining armor — j. wonwoo

pairing: non-idol! wonwoo x f!reader

word count: 7,350

genre: fluff, angst, mild crack, college setting

warnings: cheating (not wonwoo tho our boy is sweet, it's reader's shitty ex), curse words, implicit violence (black eyes, cuts on lips mentioned)

author's notes: y'all pray that one day i have the energy to proofread my works ;_____; BRO I STG I WORKED ON THIS FOR OVER THREE MONTHS AND IDK HOW IT GOT SOOO LONG T___________T

“Hey, I’m planning on finishing my paper for International Law in Holly’s, come with me?”

With your hands intertwined with your boyfriend, Hanwoo, the two of you walked towards the parking lot by your university, just having finished a class together. You were hoping to spend some time together since Hanwoo had been preoccupied with the major association he’s a member in, as the collegial organization is holding its elections in the next week and he had been approached to help out as a committee member. Since the two of you have the same classes together, and the paper was due next Monday (it being a Thursday now), you thought you could get, at least the introduction down, while having some quality time in the 24 hour café with your boyfriend of six months.

“We’ll be there all night and you can distract me from my paper and I will do the same to you, and then we can down a ton of caffeine before passing out on the bean bags they have,” you tried to convince him, leaning into his side as you two approached his car. “And then we can go home and talk about how we should’ve finished our paper, plan another night in Holly’s and do it all over again!”

“Although that does sound tempting,” Hanwoo began, releasing your hand to reach for the car keys and unlocked the doors. He leaned down to be eye-level with you, as his hand reached for the door handle of the passenger seat, he uttered, “But, I have a meeting later tonight.” Pressing a quick kiss to your cheek, he pulled your door open and stepped aside enter the car. A pout found its way to your lips, pulling your favorite move to get what you want, but he wasn’t budging and only nodded his head for you to climb in.

“What meeting?” You asked once he climbed into the driver’s seat, pulling the car out of the parking lot and on your way to your house to drop you off.

“The election, since Monday evening will be the debate between president and vice president candidates, so we need to discuss the topics of the debate, all the technical stuff tonight,” he explained, “we’re planning on pushing a lot we need done between today and tomorrow, so we can have the weekends free and do finishing touches on Monday.”

“Ahh, being Event Organizer really isn’t easy… so you’ll be busy today, and tomorrow?” He only nodded, briefly sending a small smile her direction. “Alright, then, I’ll just see if Wonwoo is free tonight.”

Hanwoo threw his head back, asking, “Isn’t Wonwoo a Computer Science major?”

“Yeah, but he’s really good at research so I think he can help.” Hanwoo didn’t bother asking more, turning the music up to let it fill the silence as you arrived by the driveway of your house. “Good luck on your paper, yeah? Don’t drink too much coffee.”

“No promises,” you responded before kissing his cheek and climbing out his car. You waved him off, watching as the car disappeared in the distance before turning to head inside and up to your room just left of the entryway. Tossing your bag on your chair, you flopped on to your bed, too mentally exhausted from the three lectures today to even change your clothes, feeling sleep begin to fog your head. You were on the edge of dreamland when you heard a clink, then a few seconds later another one, and then another one, and it seemed to be never ending before you pulled yourself out of your drowsiness and headed to your window—which just so happened to be adjacent to your next door neighbor, Wonwoo’s window.

“You seriously need to reconsider throwing rocks at my window before you shatter it, Wonwoo.” Your neighbor only chuckled, so you took this as an opportunity. “Hey, can you come with to Holly’s? I’m planning to stay overnight there.”

“What for?”

“I’m holding an executive meeting for us to discuss a ten-step plan to overthrow our government,” you grinned, and he pondered, tapping his chin lightly before shaking his head.

“I can’t overthrow the government yet, I have a quiz tomorrow.”

You rolled your eyes, a soft laugh escaping your lips. You could always count Wonwoo to go along with your poor attempts at sarcasm. “I have a paper to work on and I don’t want to be alone.”

“Where’s your boyfriend? What’s his name? Yohan?”

“So close! It’s Hanwoo,” you retorted with a deadpan as you reminded him of your boyfriend’s name. Wonwoo hasn’t been discreet in his distaste towards your boyfriend—it’s been six months since he asked you out, and it’s been six months of Wonwoo never remembering his name. “He has a meeting today since the upcoming election debate for my major’s organization.”

“Is he running or…?” Wonwoo asked, despite his lack of interest with the topic.

“No, he’s the EO, and will be occupied for the next couple of days.”

“Aah, so I’m a back-up to you? Got it.” You knew he was being sarcastic, it was a running joke between the two of you since splitting when choosing college majors—you had done the same when he asked you to accompany him to watch a movie he really wanted to see, only to find out he came to you because friends from his major were busy.

“Do you want to come with me or not?” You asked again, “you don’t need to if you don’t want to.”

“What time?” Wonwoo asked, not hesitating. “Eomma is making dinner tonight, and asked me to ask you to join in case your parents are working late.”

You turn briefly, listening in to your parent’s room across from yours and can hear the muffle conversation behind the walls. “I think they’re home, but knowing my dad, he won’t be cooking so I think all three of us can head over to your place for dinner?”

“Sure, I’ll tell Eomma,” Wonwoo informed, “so after dinner then, we can go? Did you ask your parents for permission to spend the night working on the assignment.”

Dread immediately washed over you, colour draining from your face and to your feet as you remembered you haven’t asked permission from your parents, especially your dad who isn’t fond of you working long hours for an assignment you could’ve finished from when it was assigned. Force habit, dad, it’s not my fault you raised a chronic procrastinator, you couldn’t help but think. An innocent chuckle left your lips as you pulled your signature puppy-dog eyes to Wonwoo, who—without you having to utter a single word—understood what you were doing.

He heaved a heavy sigh, closing his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, I’ll ask them.”

“You are the best! Did you know that you’re the best person I’ve ever met? You’re absolutely awesome, smart and so, so, so kind, Wonwoo!” You blew a kiss in his direction, like how you watched Sunjae in Lovely Runner do so. “Love you!”

He waved your exaggerated gestures off, ignoring the heat forming in his cheeks and spreading to his ears, as he turned away, yelling back at you, “Yeah, yeah, just hurry up, I want to get this over with.”

“When do you think International Humanitarian Law is applicable?” You turned to Wonwoo after reading (re: skimming) a journal regarding the topic for your paper. Despite having only been studying the material for about twenty minutes, you could feel yourself losing it by the second. You didn’t hate International Law, but you always thought that the professor assigned too much reading, and is so strict about the entire paper itself—specifically using APA style, it has to only be footnotes (no in-line citations, despite that being the easiest in your opinion and you always preferred Chicago over any other reference style).

Oh, and the International Law professor is biased and lowkey a bitch.

So, being reluctant to work on an assignment given by your major’s most disliked professor wasn’t a priority even with the deadline closing in.

“During world conflicts?” You and Wonwoo stared at each other briefly, before you nodded, “That is true.” Wonwoo stifled a laugh. Seeing you look so drained and empty every single time you worked on an assignment, never failed to make him laugh. He enjoyed accompanying you, and despite the different majors and study programs you both have, he always tried to make sure he is more help than company. Even though you never really wanted to help you work on the assignment, knowing he has his own to deal with as a Computer Science major, but he’s well aware of your habits that even if the due date is Monday and you are working on it right now, you won’t completely finish it until Sunday, if not with Wonwoo’s aid.

“What’s the paper about?”

“The application of International Humanitarian Law in a specific study case,” you responded, tone flat. The more you talked about it, the more your soul was being sucked into the void. “I chose the Femicides in El Salvador.”

“Alright.” Was all Wonwoo said before he opened Google Scholar and began his own little research.

“Wonwoo, you don’t have to—”

“Y/N?” Cut off mid-sentence, you and Wonwoo turned to find Joy approaching your table, her hair tied and a lanyard around her neck, she must’ve just gotten back from campus.

“Joy? Hi, what are you doing here?” You smiled, internally sighing in relief because you had a reason to not look at the journal you were reading of femicide reports in the past decade.

“I just came back from an internal meeting with the EO’s for the upcoming debate,” Joy responded, noticing Wonwoo and waving at him. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m working on Michelle’s paper,” you answered, exaggerating the slouch in your shoulders and pout in your lips. You then realized, sitting up straight, head cocked to the side with your brows furrowed. “Wait, you’re an EO for the debate?”

Joy pulled a chair to sit across from you, resting her arms on the table and nodded.

“So you were with Hanwoo?”

It was her turn to furrow her brows. “Your boyfriend?” You nodded, and she shook her head. “No I wasn’t.”

“What? But he told me he was having a meeting with the EO’s for the debate, maybe you didn’t see them?”

The crease between your friend’s brow only deepened. “Y/N, the EO’s are only four people, not including the PIC—I’ve also met them all, and Hanwoo isn’t a part of us.”

“That’s weird,” you muttered. Did your boyfriend lie?

“Maybe he got his position switched? Maybe he’s not an EO? You could try asking tomorrow,” Joy tried to reason, and you only nodded. Hanwoo had been telling you that he was an EO for the past couple of weeks, ever since the announcement of election was released for the major association. He explained to you in great detail what the position would entail, and well, frankly speaking, you trusted him. It tugged at your chest at the possibility he might’ve lied to you.

And Wonwoo can see it. The deep glare in your eyes as you stared at the article you were reading, but you weren’t actually reading the reports from representatives of the El Salvadoran government, instead you were reading into the situation with your boyfriend. Gears were turning in your head, making connections, coming up with excuses as to why he had chosen to lie to you about something as trifling as his position in a collegial committee. He could tell that no matter how many paragraphs you read, how many relative research articles you pulled up from the internet, nothing will allow you to progress in your paper until the nagging feeling of your fibbing boyfriend is at ease.

“Y/N, do you want to head back home, call it a night?” Wonwoo asked, before quickly raising his phone, “My brother just sent me a text, that he needs the car early tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, yeah sure, let me just pay—”

“You pack up, I’ll pay for our food.”

You knew that he knew. Your lips pressed into a tight smile, “Thanks, Won.” He nodded, returning your smile before heading to the counter.

“Should we continue tomorrow night, then?” Joy asked. You nodded. “Sure,” then added, “depends though.”

On whether or not your boyfriend is lying.

“Wonwoo, do you have notes from Beom’s class? Last weeks’?” Seungcheol sat across from Wonwoo in the cafeteria, picking up a fry from Wonwoo’s plate and tossing it into his mouth. Wonwoo merely stared at his friend, unamused by his lack of manners, causing Seungcheol to chuckle.

“You know I do, Cheol, but why should I give it to you?” Wonwoo asked, his baritone voice holding a twinge of sarcasm, still upset by Seungcheol’s unwarranted act of property theft.

“Who says I want them?” Seungcheol turns away, flustered that Wonwoo caught on too quickly to his motive.

Wonwoo shrugs, and continues eating his lunch. “Alright then.”

“Can you email them to me?” An innocent, close-lipped smile etched across Seungcheol’s face, his dimple deepening as he clasped his hands together, pulling the same trick as Y/N usually does to get what they want.

“Stop that, I already get enough of puppy-eyes from Y/N,” grunted Wonwoo, rolling his eyes. “I’ll send them tonight, just send me a reminder.”

“Great, thanks, man.” Wonwoo expected him to leave, allowing for Wonwoo to spend the rest of his lunch alone before he heads to his next class, but Seungcheol stayed put, eyes on his phone. Not feeling like making any conversation, Wonwoo shrugged it off and continued eating. That is, until Seungcheol spoke up again, asking, “Hey, doesn’t Y/N have a boyfriend?”

Wonwoo couldn’t help the heat that rose at the back of his neck. “Yeah, why?”

“Isn’t it that Hanwoo guy?” Wonwoo nodded, but Seungcheol only looked even more perplexed. “They’re still going out?”

“Yeah…” Wonwoo confirmed, but the question only made his curiosity grow. Why did Seungcheol look so surprised? “Why?”

“It’s just… I mean, if you say they’re still together then it might not be- I must’ve made a mistake,” Seungcheol tried to change the subject but Wonwoo wasn’t going to let him do so.

“Tell me what you’re talking about or you won’t get Beom’s notes,” Wonwoo threatened, earning a look of genuine offense from Seungcheol, whom briefly rose a brow, a bit unconvinced. “I’m serious, Cheol.”

“Ass,” he muttered, before shaking his head, “Nah, it’s just… last night I saw a guy pick up my neighbor from across the courtyard, and I thought he looked a lot like Hanwoo.” Wonwoo’s eyebrow rose in suspicion, Seungcheol spotting it. “But if you say they’re still going out, then it must’ve been someone else.”

“What do you mean?”

“Any guy would be stupid to cheat on Y/N, especially since she’s your best friend and all.”

That only made him more confused. “Why would you say that?”

“It’s not like you’d let anyone hurt her, Won,” Seungcheol retorted, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world (it was), “and Hanwoo would be a huge dumbass if he even thought of cheating on her.”

Even though Seungcheol was right, Wonwoo wasn’t convinced—Hanwoo had a meeting last night when they were at Holly’s but Joy confirmed that he wasn’t even a part of the EO committee.

“Are you sure it wasn’t him?” He tried to make sure.

“I mean, it was dark and I wasn’t wearing my glasses so it was a bit blurry—all-in-all I would say 50%, either he was or he wasn’t,” Seungcheol explained, being no help to Wonwoo’s growing suspicion of your boyfriend.

“I’ve gotta go,” Wonwoo uttered, standing and packing his things, tossing his backpack over his shoulder.

“Where are you go- class is that way!” Wonwoo paid no mind to his friend as he continued walking towards the parking lot. However, he could hear Seungcheol as he was almost out of earshot, “Y/N, your knight in shining armor is on his way.”

The corner of Wonwoo’s lips quirked up. “I’m not sending the notes then!”

“Oh, come on, man!”

He couldn’t wait any longer. Suspicions and of course, anger, only grew the more steps he took towards his car, knowing the destination was you. If what Seungcheol said is true and he did, in fact, see Hanwoo with another girl, then that means he’s openly seeing someone else behind your back.

His hand reached for his phone, sparing quick glances between the screen and where he was walking as his fingers swiped for your contact, immediately dialing. Pressing the phone to his ear, he let his other hand pull out his car keys and unlock the door just as the line started ringing.

You picked up after two rings.

“Wonwoo? What’s with the sudden phone call?”

“Where are you?” He waited in the front seat, keys dangling from the ignition. Your answer would decide whether he starts the car or not.

“In the cafeteria near the engineering majors, why?”

“Are you with Hanwoo?” You were taken aback by his question, not because of what he asked, but by the fact that he got your boyfriend’s name right.

“Yeah, I am… Why?”

His shoulders sunk with your confirmation. “Just… just checking, sorry to bother you guys.” You muttered something that he didn’t catch before he hung up, exhaling a heavy sigh. Maybe it was paranoia. He had known you since you both were in middle school, of course he was protective over you, like every friend out there, he never wants you to get hurt.

Little did he know that as you put down your phone, a grimace had taken over your features as you looked at Joy.

“What did Wonwoo ask?”

You wanted to tell her the truth, but even you couldn’t wrap your head around the obvious that was happening. Wonwoo thinks you’re with Hanwoo, but you’re not and Joy’s tip about your boyfriend never having been involved in the election committee—you knew, and if your best friend had asked and even remembered Hanwoo’s name, then that must mean he knows, too.

“If I was with you,” you answered before her suspicion grew. “He wanted to check if I was up for lunch with him, but I’m with you already.”

“Ah… I think it’s good that he isn’t here,” Joy prefaced, pulling her phone out. “Do you remember I use to be a student supervisor for our major’s freshman camp?”

“Yeah, why?”

“So, I follow most of the kids that were in my group, right? And I was scrolling through my Instagram stories when you were buying lunch, and then—“ Joy scrolled through the following list of her account, stopping her explanation as she found who she was looking for. “—I think it’s better if you see for yourself.”

She slid her phone face-up to you, an Instagram story of a junior you didn’t know of was opened. The picture wasn’t revealing much of anything that seemed of significance to you, just a photo of her holding hands with a guy and it was posted in her Close Friends—most likely an attempt at soft-launching her boyfriend.

For a moment you were confused, then you spotted it—the username. It was Hanwoo's Instagram account. Dread grew at the back of your head as your brain couldn't grasp on to this fact, even exiting out of the story and searching for his username, hoping it was one letter off and your suspicions would be wrong, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the case and both the username in the girl’s post and his username were the same.

“I’m sorry, Y/N…” Joy uttered, in hopes to break the silence and tension that was building, but it was to no avail. Your throat tightened, and tears burned in your eyes, but you knew they weren’t from sadness, or heartbreak even, you were furious.

The audacity this piece of shit has to think he can cheat on me? You locked Joy’s phone, sliding it back to her before picking up your things and standing from the table.

“Where are you going?” Her eyes were filled with genuine concern, worried that you were a ticking time bomb, just waiting to blow up at the worse time.

You sent her a reassuring smile, and shrugged. “Where else? To plan my revenge on him, of course.”

Wonwoo thought he was hearing things. As he paused his game, he waited and listened for a moment before shrugging, chalking it off to probably a feature in the game he never noticed.

Clink!

That couldn’t have been a feature in the game, he was breaking wood—a clinking sound against glass doesn’t seem like something you’d hear while hitting a tree repeatedly in Minecraft.

He removed his earphones this time, waiting for the sound again, and when he did, he stood and walked to his window, finding you standing outside his window.

“Finally, oh my God!” you groaned, rolling your eyes. “Do you know how many pebbles I had to look for to throw at your window?”

Wonwoo’s eyebrows bunched together as he stared at you dumbfounded. “Why did you need to throw pebbles, we’re ground level. You could’ve just knocked.”

“That wouldn’t be so romantic, now would it?”

Wonwoo rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose as he heaved a heavy sigh. “You’ve got to stop sneaking around like this, though, people are going to think you’re a burglar.”

“Whatever, Won,” you waved him off. “I need your help.”

“With what?”

“I—“ You paused. The fact that Hanwoo is actively cheating on you, probably even at this very moment, felt almost surreal to you, but ever since Joy showed you the picture, you’ve (to some extent) came to terms with it—there were signs after all, signs you chose to ignore or were so subtle, they flew over your head. However, coming to the realization that you’ve been cheated on felt easier than to utter it out loud—it felt more like a confirmation, that once the words were spoken out into the universe, it confirmed you were too blind in love to see the fact that he played you like a violin.

And it felt worse to admit to Wonwoo that his suspicions of your boyfr— ex-boyfriend being a douchebag were right.

“I need your help to trash Hanwoo’s car tonight, he’s at a friend’s house and left his car by his apartment.” Might as well hold off telling the truth until after you’ve released your anger.

Wonwoo could see you were holding something back, and by your proposition, making a guess as to why you did so, was easy.

“I’m not going to ask, but I will need you to explain later.” You subconsciously thanked him for not asking for a reason to your borderline act of vandalism. “Come around to the garage, I think I have a baseball bat from when I played little league.”

Ignoring the last bit of Wonwoo’s childhood anecdote, you watched as he left his room before taking the route to circle towards the front of his house where the garage was. You heard a lock turn and a bar slide before door opened, revealing Wonwoo, nodding his head to follow him.

“Do you, like, a Swiss Army knife or something sharp?”

“I think my dad has one his tool box, let me check,” he says, then points to shelf behind the car. “You can check there for the baseball bat.”

“Alright.”

Once the equipments were prepared—consisting of Wonwoo’s baseball ball, his dad’s Swiss Army knife, and your dad’s spray paint from one of his furniture restoration projects—you were all set to get back at Hanwoo. You both tossed them into the back of his car, climbing in and Wonwoo started up for Hanwoo’s apartment.

“And how do you know he left his car?” Wonwoo asked after three minutes of complete silence (AUX cord was broken and nothing that could fit a drive to vandalize your ex’s car was on the radio).

“Because I texted him earlier, asking if he could drive me to the store because there was a book I needed to get, and he explained to me that he was at a friend’s house and left his car,” you explained, your tone flat throughout as you mindlessly played with the zipper of your hoodie.

“And you’re sure he’s with friends?” He asked, his tone cautious, as he watched you freeze briefly.

You weren’t sure. Instead of admitting that, you chuckled, “He wouldn’t be with his girlfriend without a car.”

Despite your efforts at breaking the ice, Wonwoo wasn’t able to laugh at your joke, and only you could muster a dry chuckle before leaning back, turning to face the window.

You seemed to float throughout—as if watching yourself in a third person point of view, almost numb to the fact that you were on your way to ruin your ex’s car. It wasn’t that you were in denial that he is cheating on you, you refused to believe it was happening to you. You always felt that you were doing so much, showing him so much love, prioritizing him when he needed, never doubting that you felt the same way for you.

What did I do wrong? What about me wasn’t enough?

You hated those thoughts that began flooding your head. You hated those doubts. You hated that because of what he did, you’re blaming yourself—making it seem that you were the one that wasn’t doing enough.

“Y/N?” Wonwoo’s baritone voice pulled you out of your self-loathing. “We’re here.”

“Oh, you remembered the way,” you finally took note of him never asking you directions throughout the drive.

“Unfortunately.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his snide comment. Looking out to his side of the window, you see Hanwoo’s white range rover. You knew he cherished it—making sure to get the oil changed routinely, weekly car washes and having it waxed monthly. In retrospect, he probably loved the car more than he did you.

Maybe destroying he loved could make you feel less shitty.

“Let’s go—“ Before you could climb out, Wonwoo grabbed your wrist, stopping you.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Y/N?”

Again, the truth choked you. As you stared at Wonwoo, the concern laced all over his features, it felt the question should’ve triggered a flood gate to open, but alas, you persist. I need to not use poor humor as a coping mechanism. You cocked your head to the side, the corner of your lips lifted. “Why? I honestly thought you’d be the most excited of us to trash his car, Won?”

Of course, being your best friend since middle school, he saw right through your façade.

His hand moved from your wrist to clasp your hands, wrapping his fingers around yours. “Just promise you’ll talk to me, yeah?”

The bile rose, once again, urging you to cough out the truth. Knowing well enough you wouldn’t be able to utter anything without your words breaking, you nodded and sent a stiff smile.

As you stood near Hanwoo’s car, looking through the window of his vehicle, memories of the two of you seated side-by-side there came flooding in. How when you would go to a drive-thru for late night snack runs, the way you reached over the console with a fry and feeding it to him as his eyes focused on the road. When you’d pull over into a parking lot, your legs stretched over to rest over his lap as the two of you talked about everything and nothing at all, or when he would purposely make wrong turns just so you would spend more time with each other when he was supposed to drop you home.

Moments that you held so close to your heart, now worth nothing in a blink of an eye.

You squeezed your eyes shut, urging the tears to fall back and return to their sockets, inhaling a deep breath and pushing it out almost immediately as you flipped the knife to one of its sharpest options and pressing the point to the driver’s door. There’s no backing out now. You let the knife drag itself across the paint, a ragged line following your hand as you made your lap around his car.

Now, there really wasn’t going back now.

Before you could hold yourself back, your arm extended back and punctured one of the tyres—then one became two, and then three. Air spewing out of three of the tyres filled the tension around you, and you found yourself breathless. Breathless because you were angry. Breathless because you were hurt. The tears had escaped, creating warm trails down your cheeks.

“Give me the bat,” you urged, glaring at him with bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks.

“Y/N—“

“Wonwoo,” you pressed, “it’s either you give me the bat, or you go home—I’m going to do this whether you agree with it or not.”

Wonwoo shouldn’t even be against what you’re doing right now. He’s obviously on your side when it comes to this, Hanwoo deserves getting his car destroyed for hurting, manipulating and thinking he could go behind your back this way. However, the more logical and law-abiding side of him is reluctant—especially since you’ve already slashed his tyres and ruined the paintwork, so breaking the windows seemed to cross the line.

“If we get arrested, just tell them I did it, alright?” Wonwoo uttered, handing you the bat and taking the knife with him. You smiled for the first time tonight, a genuine smile that reached your eyes as he said that. He then added, “I’ll get the spray paint—you do your thing.”

And after a bashed in windshield, a very poorly written “FUCKING CHEATER” was spray painted on all sides of the car and on the hood. You and Wonwoo drove away from the scene of the crime, driving to a nearest convenient store where Wonwoo hopped out, buying instant ramen, drinks and snacks, deciding to make a last-minute picnic in his car because in his words: “Vandalism works up an appetite.”

“They didn’t have the carbonara one, so I got you cheese.” Wonwoo returned in less than ten minutes, the noodles already boiled, only needing the seasonings. You smiled at him, mumbling a thanks as you took the cup noodles from him, tearing the seasoning and busying yourself with stirring, and continuously stirring, your eyes dazed off at the curly noodles as they spun in a faint orange mix.

“Y/N, I’m sure your noodles are well stirred,” Wonwoo commented, hoping to divert your attention. The leather beneath him squeaked as he adjusted his position, leaning his back against the door as he folded his knee under him, fully facing you at this point.

He called, “Hey.”

You lifted your head to meet his eyes, and immediately, Wonwoo straightened up, his jaws clenched and shoulders tensed. Tear stricken cheeks, bloodshot eyes and everso present frown evident in between your eyebrows and downturned lips.

“Y/N…” Wonwoo took the noodles from your hands, placing it on the dashboard and pulling you by the wrists, engulfing you into his arms, then there goes the floodgates—the emotions you locked away throughout the evening, released in that very second your face was against his shoulder.

While you were bawling, grieving the relationship that reigned to be good to be true, Wonwoo was hatching up his own revenge plan on the piece of shit.

The incessant ringing of your phone pulled you out of your slumber, and you knew for a fact it wasn’t your alarm, because one; you snoozed that ten times already, and two; it wasn’t your usual Radar tone.

Sliding the screen with one eye open, you placed it by your ear without seeing who it was.

“Hello—“

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY CAR, Y/N?!”

Well that was one way of waking you up. You sat up, slowly, taking your time with adjusting your position while Hanwoo was screaming on the other line. Once you were sitting up, you glanced at the screen—the name you had changed last night once you got back home displayed as ‘IGNORE’, in hopes that you would do so when he called you. But then again, you thought he’d call you when you were conscious.

“—Y/N FUCKING ANSWER ME!” Rolling your eyes, you heaved a sigh before placing the phone back by your ear.

“And to what do I owe—“

“You were you even fucking listening to me?“ Hanwoo snapped.

“No.” Your answer was simple, honest, and obviously uninterested with whatever he wanted to say. Was the modification that you made to his beloved vehicle not enough of an announcement that you knew what he was up to all this time?

“I was asking what the hell did you to my car?”

“Can’t you tell?” you teased, “I gave it a makeover.”

“You ruined my paint job and popped my tyres, what kind of makeover is this?”

“The kind that fits a cheater like you.” Silence. Complete silence came from the other side and if you listened closely, you could hear the static along with his ragged breathing knowing well enough he was caught. “Cat got your tongue, dude?”

“Y/N…”

“Save the sob story, we’re not dating, I don’t see why you’re fucking calling me other than to cry about your stupid car—“

“How about the fact that your fucker of a dog punched me?” He interjected.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean, Y/N,” he scoffed, “it wasn’t enough to ruin my car, you had to send your dog to ruin my face too.”

It took you a second to realize he was talking about Wonwoo, which means that Wonwoo had punched his face.

Wonwoo punching someone in the face? That wasn’t something you had heard before, nor expected. The image itself was enough to cause you to burst out laughing, your phone falling from your hands, leaving Hanwoo confused and annoyed.

The idea that Wonwoo would go as far as to punch someone was such an unrealistic accusation Hanwoo had made, but nonetheless, had successfully made you laugh after a long night of crying yourself to sleep.

“Are you done?” Hanwoo asked once you placed the phone back to your ear after your laughing fit.

“Wasn’t enough for you to lie about your relationship all this time, now you want to lie and accuse Wonwoo of something he’d never do,” you defended, scoffing at his poor attempt.

“I’m not lying about this, Y/N!”

“So, you admit that you were lying about our relationship?” This time you interjected, wanting to hear him confirm it. It was mostly due to that nagging voice at the back of your head that still doubted what Joy had shown you, that the picture was friendly and not romantic.

It was so pathetic how even after everything, there was a sliver in you that hoped he would deny it.

“Y/N- let me explain—“ In other words: ‘I was, but you haven’t heard my reason’.

“Fuck off, Hanwoo, don’t ever call me again,” you warned, “and if I hear you spread bullshit about Wonwoo like you did just now, it’ll be more than just your car that I ruin. Bye.”

He managed to slip something before you got the chance to hang up. “What about my fucking eye, Y/N?”

“Why don’t you ask Gia to help you with that?” Grateful to have the last word, you hung up immediately, tossing your phone to the side. The phone call wasn’t closure, but it was enough to put those indenial thoughts to rest.

Wonwoo punched him? The thought wouldn’t leave your head as you got ready for the day. Trying to imagine Wonwoo walking up to Hanwoo and giving him a black eye wasn’t something you could see him doing. Besides that, when did Wonwoo get the time to punch Hanwoo if he did? He ended up driving you home around three in the morning, and it was past six now, meaning he had a three hour window.

Unless…

No, that would mean after dropping you off, he had stormed straight to wherever Hanwoo was just to punch him.

You had to make sure, even if it was hard to believe, you had to make sure Wonwoo was okay. As long as you’ve been friends, you’ve never seen him get into any physical altercations with anyone, and if it did happen, it might be possible that Hanwoo wouldn’t have let him walk away unscathed.

Your legs carried you to his house, to his front door and after greeting his parents, to his bedroom door. You knocked, listening in to hear rummaging noises, as if he was panicking.

“Wait, Eomma, I just finished showering—“ He called out from the other side, which you found odd because you knew him, he wouldn’t even be awake at this hour.

“Wonwoo, it’s me.”

The noise on the other side of the door paused for a moment, before Wonwoo called out. “Y/N?”

“Yes, can you open the door?” You asked, waiting for it to swing open but it didn’t.

“No, I’m- uh, I’m watching something, you don’t need to see it,” Wonwoo tried to think of an excuse but cursed at himself because why the hell did that come out instead? You, on the other hand, found his obvious panic hilarious, his excuse eliciting a chuckle.

“I know you met with Hanwoo,” you informed him, making sure to keep your voice down so his parents wouldn’t hear. “So, can you please open the door and let me check the damage?”

You waited a few minutes, hearing him toss a few things away, the noise causing your brows to furrow. The lock turned and the door swung enough for you to squeeze yourself in, knowing well enough that Wonwoo wasn’t about to reveal himself in fear his parents would see (they wouldn’t have, they were on the other side of the house, he was just paranoid). Once you were in, he pushed the door closed, his back against it and you could see what damage Hanwoo had done to your next door neighbour.

It wasn’t bad, admittedly you thought it’d be worse considering his lack of experience.

It was a scratch and bruising surrounding his left cheek, that was most caused by a ring Hanwoo was wearing, but other than that, and a tear in his lip, that was all he took.

“I honestly thought you’d look worse,” you thought out loud, Wonwoo’s brows furrowing at the comment.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You shook your head, lightly laughing. “Nothing, do you have anything I can use to clean that?”

“Uh… I do, actually.” He dips to look on his bedside table. “Stopped by a drugstore after because I saw the blood.”

“And when did you get the time to pull it all off?”

“Well, after I dropped you off, I asked Seungcheol since he knows—“ Wonwoo stopped, realizing that this information wasn’t ever supposed to reach you. “Uhm… How did you know I was hurt?”

“Because a psychopath told me,” you informed, and his eyes darkened for a moment, rolling in annoyance.

“I told him to never bother you again,” he groaned, before his gaze softened as he turned to you. “Did he hurt you? Are you okay?”

“He just called my phone, I’m alright,” you reassured him. Taking a step towards him, your fingers gently touched the wound on his cheek, inspecting it. You could see that he didn’t tend to it once it started bleeding, evidence of dried blood surrounding the wound and there wasn’t any antiseptic used either to ensure an infection didn’t happen.

While you were playing nurse, Wonwoo became very aware of the lack of space between your face and his, and he had to hold his breath. It only worsened when your eyes darted to his, the two of you holding eye contact for what he thought was an eternity.

“Let me clean it up for you, Won,” you uttered, breaking the silence and eventually the tension as you turned to walk into his ensuite bathroom. He followed after trying to calm his heartbeat, finding you on top of his sink, soaking a cotton pad with antiseptic and tearing a bandaid from its package.

“Come here,” you urged. Wonwoo stood between your thighs, not wanting to meet your eyes, but you didn’t mind—almost finding him being flustered cute.

“Ow,” he winced when the antiseptic touched the wound after you had wiped it clean of the dried blood.

“It’s a small sting, stop being a baby,” you teased, earning a glare from him. “How come you only came out with this?”

“Got me at the last minute,” he answered.

“And how was he?” Your question was responded with an eyebrow raise instead, causing you to roll your eyes. “I don’t care about him, Won, I just want to know if it was worth it—if you, at least, are satisfied with this decision.”

The corner of his lips turned up, a smug look etched across his face as he answered, “It was. I hurt him enough to send the message and keep it with him for the next couple of weeks.”

“I never knew you could fight,” you said honestly.

“There’s a lot you still don’t know about me, Y/N,” he mumbled, but because of your close proximity, you heard it loud and clear. Before you ask further, he spoke up, “Have you had breakfast yet?”

“No, not yet.”

“After this we can have breakfast, I think my mom made doenjang jjigae,” he informed. You smiled, nodding, “Sure.” You finished tending to his wound by plastering on the Kuromi bandaid, teasing him about it, to which he used the ‘there wasn’t anything else’ excuse.

He grabbed your elbow as you hopped off his sink, the action caused you to stumble out of balance instead of helping, made you bump closer to him, his free arm automatically holding your waist.

Cue the eye contact and pink-tinted cheeks, the move could’ve made you laugh as if it was straight out of a cheesy rom-com, but you were too occupied with trying to think that you couldn’t do so. I’m heartbroken, I’m vulnerable and haven’t been feeling loved for the past week, this is just a fluke, you tried to rationalize the thoughts and your racing heart, knowing well what could work to get out of this.

You tapped his chest, gently pushing him. “Go shower, Wonwoo, you reek.”

“Shut up, I do not,” he protested, laughing to cover his shaky voice. He then added, “Thanks, Y/N, although you didn’t have to do all this.”

“And let you get an infection?” You retorted.

Wonwoo rolled his eyes, and without thinking he uttered, “A kiss would’ve sufficed.” It was too late for him to take back his words, noting your wide eyes and mouth slightly agape, his cheeks flushed when he realized what he had said. “Y/N, I wasn’t thinking—“

You pressed a kiss against cheek, beneath his bandage, shutting him completely. “Take it as a thank you for all you’ve done for me.”

It took him a second to compose himself, grinning, “I am your knight in shining armor, after all.”

You threw your head back in laughter. “Are you riding a horse, my knight?”

“Yes, a pink horse,” he answered, smiling endearingly down at you.

You frowned at his choice of color, “But you hate pink?”

“And you love pink.”

“Gosh, Wonwoo,” you flushed red, taking a step away from him, finding his comment both cringey and touching at the same time—it was shocking you could feel those two simultaneously. “When did you get so cheesy?”

He merely shrugged, a faint smirk on his lips. “I told you there was a lot you don’t know about me.”

[jinxthequeergirl]

The Ol switcharoo (pt3)

Stan pines x reader/ ford pines x reader

Summary: 30 years pass and you meet stanfords family.

Warning: NONE

Sorry for another short chapter. Consider this a filler episode. Chapter four should be better.

~~~~~~~~☆~~~~~~

30 years is a long time.

You can do a lot in that time.

You can live a lot of different lives in 30 years.

You started cutting your hair in that time, Stanford taught you to box, You'd gone on many different adventures. Most of which you often questioned the legality of, but they still made you laugh.

Now you mainly tended to the Mystery shack no more adventures, you wondered as you sat on the couch next to Stanford when you'd gotten so old. And when your life had changed so much.

You had almost forgotten all about anything before your family vacation. you and Stanford had grown into a pretty comfortable life together. You wouldn't lie you'd come to love the life you've grown into with him.

But you've also missed the adventures you used to go on, finding monsters , exploring the unknown.

But you were only met with gluing eyeballs to pieces of plastic halloween decorations and making up stories to make out of towns folk get a good laugh in.

You had tried to find Stanfords journals just to "relive the glory days" but with no luck.

You were never sure what happened to them, if he had accidentally tossed them out, if he had lost them himself or if that was part of what happened while you where away. Either way you stopped looking. You never asked about them either.

Stanford seemed to really enjoy his life with you too, you never got the idea he wanted to turn back or like he was waiting for some big adventure.

"This may sound corny but you and the mystery shack are my big adventure...I wouldn't trade you or the old shack for anything y/n. Not. For. ANYTHING."

So you stopped worrying yourself with the journals or the old research, let alone the real monsters that lurked in the woods.

You hunkered down, sold stories and bumper stickers in your matching suits and watched night time television before falling asleep on top of eachother every night.

This was the routine you'd fallen into. You found it odd if you had to sleep without Stanfords shoulder as your pillow or his jolt of laughter before he realized you fell asleep. It was odd for both of you to not debate who got giftshop duity over tour duties. (You always got gift shop.)

It was odd when a pair of twins arrived on your front lawn.

"You never talk about your family." You said following Stanford down the stairs to meet them. "Sure I do." He said clearly a little nervous.

"Mmm no...I didn't know you had a sister! Let alone great neices and nephews!..excuse us, Soos." You say almost chasing him through the gift shop almost knocking soos over.

He paused as both of you looked out the little door window at them. "Listen...I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my family... to be fair... we aren't really close..but somethings came up and-" You could see his stress building up as he tried to piece together something that made you understand how important it was to make a good impression on those kids.

You placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm here with you... you can explain it all later, but right now, I'm right by your side, like always." He smiled and placed a hand on top of yours.

Before heading outside to me, you are in tow.

"I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD A GREAT AUNT! A GRANT!? A GRRR...GRAUNT!?" The girl in the pair shouted excitedly after stan had introduced you to them.

"That's cause you don't. We aren't married y/ns a friend."

You laughed at the girl who energetically and enthusiastically introduced herself as Mable. The introduction was followed by several need to know now questions, all of which would later be scribbled onto a paper for you to fill out and return to her.

☆what's your favorite color

☆ do you like my grunkle stan?

☆if you were a magical creature, what would you be? Why? WHAT WOULD I BE? why?

☆do you LOOOOVEEE grunkle stan?

☆opinion on stickers?

"Alright, you two leys get you up to your room for the summer." Stan said, pulling Mable away from you and grabbing her bags.

You grabbed the second set of bags and followed stan and the two kids.

"Dipper, right?" You asked the boy who fell in line with you "oh yea! Yep that's me!" He laughed nervously.

"Very cool name,I like your hat by the way." You prayed you didn't seem like you were trying too hard to get them to like you.

"So you and grunkle stan run this place?" Dipper asked, looking at all your hot glue collages as Stanford decided to give them the grand tour before their room.

"Yup." You nodded.

"What's the point? Isn't this all fake? I mean... I can see the string on the invisible man's glasses." He said pointing out the attraction as you passed.

"Oh c'mon Dipper, how could you not love the jackalope!? Is he a deer? Is he a rabbit? I can't tell!" Mable said, carrying the creature in her arms like a teddy bear.

"I just don't get it? Why lie to people when I'm sure there has to be something real out there!"

You smiled at him. He sounded like you when you were a kid...he sounded more like Stanford before the shack. "You like the supernatural?" You asked.

"Oh yea, dippers a huge nerd he loves all that junk!" Mable said punching her brother in the shoulder.

"Oh, here we go! Don't get this one started on mystery and supernatural boogie men!" Stanford said, stopping to join your conversation.

"Y/n used to be big on hunting and looking for stuff like this." He said, wrapping his arm around you. "Used too...I haven't in over 30 years...it got too complicated." You opted to give them a simple answer as to why you stopped.

"Really!? That's so cool!" Dipper exclaimed. "If you ever need someone to go on adventures with, you can trust me."

Over the upcoming weeks, it was slightly rocky with the kids getting settled in, but eventually, they started warming up to the shack as well as yourself and Stanford.

You were quite pleased to have their company, actually. You felt something change in your everyday lives when they entered the shack.

"Depending on who you ask." You said continuing your story as you placed plates in front of the kids. "Your grunkle and I are married." The kids gasped. "Only through some silly machine in Vegas it wasn't real there was this one time -"

Stan chuckled to himself as you told the story of your fake marriage in Vegas as he watched the three of you laugh in the kitchen.

He smiled. Watching you frantically move your arms to further dramatice the story, a certain shine he'd noticed had been missing from your eyes for a few years now. You had it when he'd met you.

The same day, he knew things would be different for him. They HAD been different. You accepted him for everything he was. You went along with his crazy shenanigans. You gave up a whole life for him.

He remembered the birthday parties you had thrown for him. Even if you were the only person to be there for him.

He knew after a few years of you doing so that you would always be the only one there. He had the strangest feeling the night of his 35 birthday when he realized this.

He lied awake in bed, staring at the ceiling when it occurred to him what the feeling was.

"Oh no."

He quietly snuck away from you and the kids, still hearing your laughter erupt through the house behind him. He made his way into the darkened gift shop and punched a code into the vending machine, and went down to the basement he swore to you he'd destroyed.

30 years, and all he had offered you was lies. After all you'd done for him after all the care you'd shown him after all you had sacrificed. He just wanted you to have a normal life. A good life.

Not something he had fabricated.

He spent most of his time thinking about the large machine that still sat in his basement, the other half worrying about you. If he was giving a good life if he was soing as good a job being in your life as you had done for him.

He worried about what might happen when, IF he was able to pull of bringing his brother back.

How would you react to being lied to for 30 years. Maybe you did really feel the same way he had felt about you for years and you would forgive him.

In order for that to work, he'd have to actually admit his feelings to you.

He wanted to, he also wanted do a lot more for you in the 30 years you'd been together but always failed before he could make a move or do anything really. He pushed aside a notepad filled with ideas of kind gestures he could do for you (most of which were crossed out) and replaced the space with the journal Ford had left him.

He would get it right.

All of it.

Eventually.

Then again.

He could always ask Mable.

While you laughed with two kids at a dinner table and Stanley beat himself up about lying and tried to rebuild his life.

The real Stanford pines sat out there amongst the stars with nothing but a creased photo of the two of you and wondered why it was taking you so long to find him.

~~~~~~~☆~~~~~

Taglist:

@muffin1304

@katharine3000

@leo4242564

@space1crow

@steveharringtongf

@mckennaishere07

@nothingbutcloud

@anicega

@i-am-tiredd

@babydoll-143

@fanficcrow

@slay-thou-pookie

@bandaids-n-porceline

[literaryvein-reblogs]

How to Read a Scientific Article

THE THREE-PASS APPROACH

The key idea is that you should read the paper in up to 3 passes, instead of starting at the beginning and plowing your way to the end.

Each pass accomplishes specific goals and builds upon the previous pass:

The first pass gives you a general idea about the paper.

The second pass lets you grasp the paper’s content, but not its details.

The third pass helps you understand the paper in depth.

At the end of the first pass, you should be able to answer the 5 Cs:

Category: What type of paper is this? A measurement paper? An analysis of an existing system? A description of a research prototype?

Context: Which other papers is it related to? Which theoretical bases were used to analyze the problem?

Correctness: Do the assumptions appear to be valid?

Contributions: What are the paper’s main contributions?

Clarity: Is the paper well written?

Purpose of the Sections of Empirical Articles

Section — Use it for

Abstract — This is a great section to read to find out if the article will be relevant to your own research.

Introduction — This section gives you an overview of work that has been done on topics relating to the hypothesis of the article, and will often lead you to other relevant work that has been done in your area of interest.

Method — This section will help you understand the design of the experiment. This is particularly useful if you'd like to replicate the study.

Results — The results will tell you what the author/s found in the course of their experiment.

Discussion — The discussion section is typically easier to read than the method and results section, and it will help the reader understand the implications of the results of the experiment.

References — This is a great place to look to find articles that are related to the one you are reading. If you're looking to build your own literature review, the references are a great place to start.

The Anatomy of a Scientific Paper

Some initial guidelines for how to read a paper:

Read critically: Reading a research paper must be a critical process. You should not assume that the authors are always correct. Instead, be suspicious. Critical reading involves asking appropriate questions.

Read creatively: Reading a paper critically is easy, in that it is always easier to tear something down than to build it up. Reading creatively involves harder, more positive thinking.

Make notes as you read the paper. Use whatever style you prefer. If you have questions or criticisms, write them down so you do not forget them. Underline key points the authors make. Mark the data that is most important or that appears questionable. Such efforts help the first time you read a paper and pay big dividends when you have to re-read a paper after several months.

After the first read-through, try to summarize the paper in one or two sentence.

If possible, compare the paper to other works.

Write a review that includes:

a one or two sentence summary of the paper.

a deeper, more extensive outline of the main points of the paper, including for example assumptions made, arguments presented, data analyzed, and conclusions drawn.

any limitations or extensions you see for the ideas in the paper.

your opinion of the paper; primarily, the quality of the ideas and its potential impact.

The guide below details how to read a scientific article step-by-step.

First, you should not approach a scientific article like a textbook— reading from beginning to end of the chapter or book without pause for reflection or criticism. Additionally, it is highly recommended that you highlight and take notes as you move through the article.

Skim the article. This should only take you a few minutes. You are not trying to comprehend the entire article at this point, but just get a basic overview. You don’t have to read in order; the discussion/conclusions will help you to determine if the article is relevant to your research. You might then continue on to the Introduction. Pay attention to the structure of the article, headings, and figures.

Grasp the vocabulary. Begin to go through the article and highlight words and phrases you do not understand. Some words or phrases you may be able to get an understanding from the context in which it is used, but for others you may need the assistance of a medical or scientific dictionary. Subject-specific dictionaries available through our Library databases and online are listed below.

Identify the structure of the article and work on your comprehension. Most journals use an IMRD structure: An abstract followed by Introduction, Methods, Results, and Discussion. These sections typically contain conventional features, which you will start to recognize. If you learn to look for these features you will begin to read and comprehend the article more quickly.

 Read the bibliography/references section. Reading the references or works cited may lead you to other useful resources. You might also get a better understanding of the basic terminology, main concepts, major researchers, and basic terminology in the area you are researching.

Reflect on what you have read and draw your own conclusions. As you are reading jot down any questions that come to mind. They may be answered later on in the article or you may have stumbled upon something that the authors did not consider. Here are some examples of questions you may ask yourself as you read:

 Have I taken time to understand all the terminology?

Am I spending too much time on the less important parts of this article?

Do I have any reason to question the credibility of this research?

What specific problem does the research address and why is it important?

How do these results relate to my research interests or to other works which I have read?

6. Read the article a second time in chronological order. Reading the article a second time will reinforce your overall understanding. You may even start to make connections to other articles that you have read on this topic.

Identify Key Information

Whether you are looking for information that supports the hypothesis in your own paper or carefully analyzing the article and critiquing the research methods or findings, there are important questions that you should answer as you read the article.

What is the main hypothesis?

Why is this research important?

Did the researchers use appropriate measurements and procedures?

What were the variables in the study?

What was the key finding of the research?

Do the findings justify the author’s conclusions?

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[pumpkinpaix]

You have questions! We might have answers.

What is this collection?

As Maria puts it: this collection is a critical look at some of the things that we, the editors, think have made CQL such a hit around the world. Of course, part of that success comes from the webnovel MDZS and the show CQL themselves—we love the characters, the mystery, and the drama, who doesn’t?! However, the authors in our book also look at topics like translating danmei (both officially and unofficially), adapting danmei for new audiences, and interacting with fandoms and fanworks. The larger argument of the book is that all of these things played a huge role in CQL’s visibility and success, and we wanted to start making those moving pieces visible, especially for audiences who mainly watched CQL in translation.

You keep using the word “academic”—what does that mean, exactly? 

Maria: Ok, not to get pedantic here, but this actually touches on some things that I’m really excited about for the book. Traditionally, academic work is written by people who have a deep expertise in the subject (signified by having a PhD and doing specific kinds of research), and then the work itself is peer-reviewed (i.e., sent to other experts in the field for them to evaluate whether it’s sound, original, and interesting enough to publish, without knowing who wrote it). And both of these things are true about our book—our authors have deep knowledge and the book was peer reviewed—but also. We specifically asked for chapters from younger scholars and from fans who also have deep knowledge about topics that academia doesn’t always know or value enough, and we include an interview from the fan-translator K. who did the Exiled Rebels translation. So the hope is that: this book is academic, and also—more!

Who are you? 

Yue studies adaptation, fantasy, and popular culture texts using a feminist lens. She wrote an early, influential article about danmei adaptations and also has a book about feminist adaptations of Chinese fantasy.

Maria studies fanworks, contemporary fantasy, and genre literature. She’s scrambling to finish her dissertation right now.

How were the chapter spotlights chosen?

Voluntarily! The concept of a small social media promo was kicked around by some of the contributors and those interested in the idea filled out a short interview with what they wanted to share. We'll be posting about 2 introductions and 2 spotlights a day for the next week or so!

Who's running this social media campaign anyway?

Not the publishers! A few enthusiastic collection contributors got together and, with the assistance of the editors, have put this promotion together. We do not in any way represent Peter Lang in an official capacity! We just worked hard and wanted to share. :)

Are you making any money off of royalties from this book? 

LOL not even remotely

What about this promotion?

also no. alas

Where can I find this book? 

You can find our listing on Peter Lang’s website here. As for other retailers, a quick search should turn us up!  

How can I access this book if I cannot buy it from Peter Lang / [book retailer of choice]?

As collection editors and contributors who signed a legal agreement with Peter Lang, we have granted Peter Lang exclusive right and license to edit, adapt, publish, reproduce, distribute, display, and store our contributions, and we must cooperate fully with the Publisher if the Publisher believes a third party is infringing or is likely to infringe copyright in the contribution. 

That being said, these are academic papers, which means that contributors may make copies of the contribution for classroom teaching use! (These copies may not be included in course pack material for onward sale by libraries and institutions). Of course, any linking, collection or aggregation of chapters from the same volume is strictly prohibited.

(FAQ may be updated periodically!) (all posts on Catching Chen Qing Ling)

[tmntxthings]

一∑Moth to a Flame・゜・。

author’s notes: this is my entry for @dancingdonatello ‘s competition :D this has been sm fun and I can’t wait to read everyone else’s stories!!!

prompt: "You like them...more? Is that it? Am I the second choice?" "That's not true..." "Then choose me. Choose us."

warnings: angst, situation-ship, aged-up characters, college au, alcohol consumption, jealousy, yandere tendencies? cliffhanger

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Donnie didn’t know how much more he could take. His mind was simultaneously all over the place and singularly focused on one thing. You.

~

Mutants and yokai kind alike have been out for years. So in the ‘town’ he and his brothers grew up in, they finally came to be free from the shadows. As free as heroes can be at least. They still needed to be a bit secretive on where they lived, in case of revenge-seeking villains.

But with mutants out on the surface, New York had grown accustom to them. Well, as accustom as they can be…

Donnie has met many people. He’s been able to attend college. Mostly online. But he finds the time to attend some evening classes in person. He met you. A floundering classmate in need of assistance.

Usually Donnie can find an excuse to get out of helping every poor soul that crosses his path. That’s what the professors are for. The librarians. Hell the student mentors! But with you… he just couldn’t resist.

The study sessions were long. But in the end you were able to pass, “All thanks to you Dee!!” You had cheered shoving your research paper into his face for him to appraise your passing grade. Barely passing, but it showed your improvement nonetheless.

He had been about to tease you of this. Three months of his help and you hardly grazed by?! But the thought was cut short as you pulled the papers away from his face and up you jumped.

Arms going around his neck and squealing your joy. He was frozen for a millisecond before his arms twitched into motion. His hands going around your back, holding you. That was the first time you had initiated such skin-ship.

Sure there had been the occasional touching of hands, passing laptops, books and the like back and forth. There had even been moments of playful touch, nudging his arm with your elbow for his odd choice in coffee. A tap above his glasses when he got too focused on his own work to answer your sporadic questions.

The hug didn’t last very long in terms of time. Seconds merely. But it made a lastly impression on Donnie. With the class over, you had no other reason to see him again. The prospect had Donnie fumbling to invite you out, to do anything to prolong such an ending to this blooming relationship.

“What classes are you taking next semester?” He had asked. You promised to text him the list, already having to dash off for one last exam.

He worried that would be the end.

Thankfully it wasn’t. You texted him later that evening, telling him all about the rest of your day as well as the list per his request. Unfortunately the two of you didn’t share any other classes. And it seemed unlikely for the future as well, the two of you were on diverging paths. Donnie despaired.

But you found reasons to message him. By the time the next semester rolled around the two of you were study partners, no matter the subject. Donnie would help if he could, and usually he was able. But there was a shift in the relationship. Outings to the library and other study areas changed to coffee shops. Then to your place. It only felt natural to invite you over to his.

Preparations were put in place. As were warnings “Yes, I do live in a sewer with my brothers and dad.” And “No it doesn’t reek of waste or garbage.” And “Yes there is one rat actually, my dear Papa.”

You took it all in stride. The introductions to his family went as well as they ever did. Friends. The two of you were officially friends. Donnie couldn’t be happier. With such a title he took more initiative with online contact. His messages would ramble on, sprinkled with pictures and videos.

Semesters continued to pass by and the bond between the two of you only grew. In turn, with more trips to his home, you became friends with his brothers. With April. It was just natural.

And then there was graduation. A celebration was in order. Four years, you had been in his life for four years and he couldn’t imagine it without you. The plan was to dress to the nines, and go out on the ‘town’! Drinking and dancing.

Of course, his brothers were invited as well as a few of your other friends. Donnie was no stranger to clubbing. The bar scene had become somewhat of a regular occurrence once his friendship with you was solidified.

You liked to go out. You liked music. He obliged on a few occasions to be your dancing partner and thus every time after it was his official label. Donnie was adverse to the huge crowds. It didn’t offer much room for dancing, but he’d endure it for you. With you in his arms it all seemed bearable. The music that was so loud it thumped in his plastron. The heat in the room percolating from the sheer number of bodies. Even the taste of alcohol, on the very, very rare occasion you got him to drink.

It always tasted horrible. No matter the different shots or mixed cocktails. God forbid a beer. You had pushed all sorts of these beverages on him, eyes crinkling up at him with amusement as his beak wrinkled from disgust.

Those nights with alcohol involved always ended strangely. Your touch would light him up from the inside. He’d want to hold you closer, lean in as far as you’d let him. Pull at your waist, dig his fingers into your hips during the last dance before the two of you had to part for the night. Those nights ended with kisses.

And by the next day you would never talk about them. So he didn’t either. Even as his murky memory of all other events seemed to part with clarity for how you had panted heat into his mouth. He’d flush dark green at just the thought and have to swallow the spit that pooled in his mouth.

This had happened a handful of times. The kissing. And with no communication whatsoever afterwards it put Donnie on edge. He wondered why it happened at all if you didn’t want to acknowledge the deed once it was done. He wondered about what it said on account of his own self worth for him to continue to let it happen.

To look forward to nights out. To nights you pushed a shot glass his way. To want your lips on his by the end of it all.

So with this big celebration, Donnie was expecting the same routine if only highlighted by the fact that both of you were now graduates. He’d be your dance partner. The two of you would spin for an hour or two, or however long you wanted. And he’d order himself a drink this time. One that he found slightly bearable than the rest.

Only, that wasn’t what was happening. Drink in hand? Sure. Your hand in his other? No. He was grumbling over at the bar shooting hateful daggers where you resided on the dance floor. You were dancing with Leo.

Donnie grimaced as he took a long hard sip. It was like acid in his mouth. Donnie didn’t know how much more he could take. His mind was simultaneously all over the place and singularly focused on one thing. You.

You laughing as Leo twirled you around. How wrong it felt to watch your arms go up and around his brother’s neck. Donnie was a better dancer. He knew in his soul that he could beat Leo in any category. Waltz, disco, salsa, you name it, Donnie could dance it. But his prowess didn’t seem to matter. Which only further incensed him. Why were you doing this? How could you possibly allow Nardo to take his place? His rightful role. Donnie was supposed to be your dance partner. And the only time you were allowed to dance with another was whenever he deigned to skip such an outing.

He was here. Dressed in an aubergine suit. Jacket button undone. And his black dress shirt was unbuttoned as well. Three buttons plucked, showing off too much skin in his opinion for such a crowd. But he had been feeling flirty. Flirty for someone who wasn’t even glancing his way.

Donnie fumed once more. Cursing in his mind as he lifted his drink and threw his head back. Maybe the taste would kill him. His eyes squeezed shut as the liquid poured down his throat and he tried not to gag. Bad decision.

When his eyes reopened it couldn’t have been at a worse moment. Leo was dipping you, his face leaning dangerously close to yours, his hand snug on your waist. Leo said something in your ear.

Maybe it was the lighting. Maybe it was the heat. But when Donnie saw your darkened cheeks, he couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He stormed to the dance floor. Yanking Leo’s hand away from your body once you were upright.

“What’s up hermano?” Leo’s smile was grating. Donnie had to force himself not to snarl. He took your hand and pulled you after him. Leaving Leo. Leaving this place. He had to get out of here now.

“Donnie?!” You called out over the music. But you didn’t pull away. You let him lead you out of the club. Out on the sidewalk, then off to the alleyway.

“Is everything okay?” You asked once he finally stopped. When he turned to look down at you, your eyebrows were creased with worry. Lips pulled into a line. Donnie was cracking. He couldn’t do this any longer. Did you like Leo? Did you want a ‘face man’? Was he not enough anymore? Was he being replaced? The thoughts were suffocating him and he pulled you to his plastron, backing you into the building wall simultaneously.

“I’m here, but Dee you’ve gotta say something, I’m getting worried..” You mumbled into his clothes. Your arms going around Donnie’s shell, petting over his jacket. Offering him comfort. It wasn’t enough. He huffed his frustration.

“Should I go get your brother?”

It was the wrong thing to say. And this time he did snarl.

“No.”

Your hands froze. Falling back down to your sides. You’d never heard him so angry before. He couldn’t find it within himself to care at the moment. His displeasure written all over his face as you looked up at him.

“What’s going on?”

And Donnie remembered himself thinking that so many times with you. As you had took his breath away. And then again when you pretended like you couldn’t recall ever doing so.

“Don-“

He leaned down. Capturing your lips. Kissing you like you did to him. Only where you had made him breathless, this seemed to have the opposite effect. You puffed up. Bristling in his arms as you tried shoving him away.

It hurt.

He was much stronger than you. He could overpower you easily. But your push was like a blow to the plastron. He staggered back, all anger leaving him. A husk as he squeezed his fists shut, head hanging down as you berated him.

“What the hell was that?! Are you drunk?? Donnie what is going on? If you don’t fucking say something right now, I swear to god,”

“I don’t know!” He shouted back and it was enough to quiet you.

From there it was as if his mouth couldn’t be stopped. “I don’t know! I thought this was what we did. I didn’t hallucinate those three times you kissed me. Don’t deny it any longer!” He was heaving, face coming up to stare accusingly at you.

Your lips pressed together in a thin line.

“You kissed me! Drunkenly, but it was still there. And I can’t forget. I can’t pretend they never happened. I don’t know how you can.” His hands were in motion as he ranted. Throwing them out with the building of emotion.

“So I thought tonight would be no different. We’d get drunk. We’d dance. And we’d kiss! I want all of that. Even though I’d do it without the alcohol.” His voice cracked towards the end. But he continued to push on.

“But you danced with him. So I went and got drunk enough for the both of us.” He felt pathetic admitting this out loud. He staggered forward, unable to remain so far apart. Despite you having pushed him away. He was just a moth to your flame. He’d let himself be burnt.

“You like him more?” He asked in a voice so low it practically went unheard. His hand came up, a finger tracing down the side of your cheek.

“Is that it? Am I the second choice?” His lids lowered in time as he ran out of skin to skim. His hand fell away from your face but he had crowded you close to the wall once more. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide.

“That’s not true.” You exasperated. But that hardly cleared up anything for him. If that was the case then what were you doing dancing with his brother and not him? Why couldn’t he kiss you? Why were the both of you still pretending to be friends?

“Then pick me. Choose me.” Donnie pleaded. He didn’t care how needy it sounded. He’d do whatever it took. Get down on his knees if he had to. Because you had become a part of his life four years ago. Four years of a presence he didn’t know he needed. Up until it was far too late. And now there was no turning back. He’d be damned if he let you get away.

[purintarts]

Doctors aren't always smart | ZAYNE | LnD

"...So many doctors here. This should be the most safest place if somebody gets injured or something," I muttered.

"It is even better if nobody gets hurt - especially the lady accompanying me," Zayne whispered into my ear as he takes my hand to lead me inside.

Zayne invited me to the Annual Linkon Doctor's Banquet. Doctors all across Linkon's hospitals are here.

It's a good place for medical personnels to connect with each other and they are allowed to bring a guest. Some were bringing their spouses, others brought their apprentice, or just another doctor friend from other cities.

It's a great place to learn from each other and - ehem - job oppourtunities.

"Dr Zayne! I finally get to meet you after a whole year!" a man around Zayne's age greets him.

"Dr Hale, it's been a while," Zayne greets him with a handshake.

They share a curt pleasant greetings before Dr Hale turned to me.

"And who might this beautiful lady be?"

Zayne places his hand on my waist as he introduces me.

"This is MC, my lover"

"It's nice to meet you Dr Hale," I smiled.

"Nice to meet you too, what do you do MC?" Dr Hale smiles at me.

"I am a Hunter"

What is just me? It seems like Dr Hale's smile dropped slightly. I saw his eyes narrowed and eyebrows furrowed for a moment.

To those who do not have a keen eye, they would not notice that momentarily switch as he expertly changed his facial expression back.

"...I see. Physical job"

Dr Hale took his eyes off me and went back to talk to Zayne about medical topics.

"????? interventricular septum ???? precision ????? veins were too compact ????"

Yeah... I was lost.

Seeing how they excitedly talk to one another, I busied myself by admiring the well decorated banquet hall.

"It's nice talking to you Dr Hale, I'll excuse myself," Zayne's voice pulled me out from my daze.

Zayne walked away with me.

"Bored?" He asked

"I know what I signed up for when I agreed to your invitation," I shrugged.

"We'll leave after my speech," he squeezed my hand as he led me to a group made of two doctors, an elder medical researcher with his wife, and their apprentices.

A round of greetings were shared and curt introduction.

"My wife used to research on your topic Dr Zayne," the elder professor proudly mentiones.

"I am aware, I used a few of your papers as my reference," Zayne stated making the elder lady chuckled.

"I hope my papers can be of help to you," she beams.

I smiled and nodded at their conversation but I can't help ignoring the two doctors glances at me.

It was becoming quite annoying how they glance at me up and down. Although they did it discreetly, it is still obvious in a hunter's eye.

For some odd reason, the doctors here either inspect me thoroughly or ignored me but cutting me off from their conversation.

I never experienced this before with Akso's doctors but it made me anxious.

Was there something wrong with my dress? Is there something on my face? Did I do something wrong?

"Excuse me, I'll be right back," I smiled giving Zayne a glance.

Zayne looked at me with a question-mark and I leaned in.

"Ladies," I whispered and he nodded.

"Hurry back"

I walked as fast as I could to the ladies and locked myself in the cubicle. Putting the cover down, I sat down and fumbled with my purse.

I feel so suffocated and restless. I turned on my front camera to check my appearance.

There was nothing wrong except my lipstick fading from the drinks. I topped up my lipstick when I heard a couple of footsteps walking in.

"I can't believe Dr Zayne is dating a hunter," a voice chimes.

My hand froze.

"I know. It is so mismatched. For a genius like Dr Zayne, I thought he would go for someone like Yvonne. She's the most beautiful person in healthcare in Linkon city,"

"Yvonne will match Dr Zayne better. I saw how they work together, they complement each other well,"

Yvonne... I know that name. I recalled seeing her name on Zayne's likes every now and then.

...she is pretty.

"I guess you can't always be perfect. His peculiar taste in women must be his flaw"

I felt a stung on my heart.

The hurt grew more intense as I hear their footsteps walking out.

"No... don't cry," I looked up as I felt tear brimming my eyes.

I blinked the tears away and let out a deep sigh.

I promised Zayne to watch his speech, I'll leave right after.

I mustered the courage and walked out from the ladies room. Just as I was about to walk into a hall, I heard my name in a conversation.

"I heard her name was MC, a hunter," a masculine voice sounded.

Dr Hale?

"I tried to match Dr Zayne a couple of times with another doctor and he always refused. When I heard he has a lover, I wonder what kind of genius managed to swoon him. I am dissappointed," he spoke.

I felt the tears brimming in my eyes again.

"They won't last long. People outside our field will never understand our jobs. She looks so lost in our conversation just now. It's a pity,"

"She'll leave sooner or later. She won't be able to handle his job,"

"I remember Dr Vincent got dumped by his former lover. She threw a fit and cheated on him. Poor lad did not date anyone since,"

"Pretty sure this MC girl will do the same soon,"

"She's a hunter, aside from wanderers, I am pretty sure she will hunt other lowly men-"

A pair of hands cupped my ears. I glanced behind me to see Zayne's furious face.

"Don't listen to them,"

He turned me around to face him and wiped the tears that I didn't realised had fallen with his fingers.

"aa..." I pulled away and covered my face with my hands, "I made a mistake Zayne, I should leave,"

Zayne pulled me into his arms as he rubbed my back with his hands.

"I apologize. My selfish desire of wanting you here has hurt you," he sighed.

Listening to his words made the tears fell more.

"Zayne... I-"

I heard the sound of the microphone.

"We would like to invite Dr Zayne on his recent research!"

I heard people clapping and cheering.

"Go, hurry," I gently pushed him away, giving him the biggest smile I can managed.

Zayne had guilt all over his face.

"Dr Zayne?" the person on stage called out.

I nudged him and he sighed.

"Wait for me," he stated before making his way to the stage with a professional emotionless face.

Taking his place in front of the microphone, he greeted the hall and began his speech.

Not wanting to go into the banquet hall. I stayed near the entrance, excluding myself from the crowd.

I admiringly gaze at Zayne. His confidence and words were put together beautifully till he has everyone's attention on him.

I heard his speech a few times and even read the books he used as reference. It is the only topic I am well-versed in tonight.

"Thank you for your time. Most importantly, I would like to thank my lover, MC for being my strongest supporter. She plays a big part in my research by helping me think outside of the box, outside of the papers," Zayne looked at my direction.

"With her presence, I discovered that making a break-through isn't just about researching and conduct tests. A different perspective is required outside of the medical field that helps to close the gap. I couldn't ask for a better partner," he let out a small smile.

The people around me gasped.

"Did Dr Zayne just smiled?!!" "This is the first time I saw him smile!!"

I feel my cheeks flushed red and look down on my feet.

Well, that definitely made me wonder what I was crying about.

Zayne closed his speech and got off the stage. The people congratulated him as he walked pass them.

It took a while for him to reach me. Zayne took a hold of my hand, and nodded at the exit.

"Shall we take our leave now?" he smiled.

I nodded and followed him out.

That night, as MC was snoozing away in Zayne's bed.

Zayne played with her hair as he admiringly gaze at her sleeping face.

He knew this was going to happened some day, he was sorry that he couldn't protect her from it.

Doctors are not smart every time.

The amount of medical personnel who broke up due their colleagues' influence.

We cannot date someone outside the medical field, they don't understand our job

Pretty girls wouldn't want nerdy people like us, they will just fool around

Don't fall in love, you'll just end up heartbroken

Zayne re-called when he mentioned MC was a hunter and there was a big fuss when they accidentally saw MC's picture on his phone.

That was the first time Zayne was annoyed with his colleague over a personal matter.

"I do not recall asking for relationship advice"

They stopped talking about relationships to Zayne after that.

He had went on a date with a researcher and even a doctor but they could not give him the excitement that MC had given him.

It was always science and work when he is with them. Although he likes research, sometimes, he wishes to take a break from work and everything related to work.

That is when MC comes in.

She invokes different emotions in him, her thought process is truly different that sometimes, he wishes to check what is going on in her head.

"Zayne, I am craving for toast and eggs. You made good toast and eggs," she blinked her puppy eyes at him.

"Well if you study right before the test, your memories is much stronger compared to learning weeks before you know~" she shrugs.

When she does talks about science... the more he doesn't understand.

"Zayne, I want to learn anatomy today," MC unbuckled his belt.

...

Zayne pulled himself out from his thought process as he looked down at the sleeping MC next to him.

Doctors are not always smart indeed. There is more to science than just books.

"...darling, I feel like learning anatomy again tonight," Zayne whispered.

MC tossed and turned in her sleep.

"study tomorrow... sleep now..." she mumbles before snoring.

Zayne chuckled as he wrapped his arms around her.

There are many things doctors needs to learn outside from books.

[acapelladitty]

Batman: Arkham Session #1

Summary: After an incident at work, Edward Nashton is assigned to Dr. Jonathan Crane for psychological assessment. A decision which places both men in the firing line.

One half of an exchange with the incredible @skxtchyghost who has the absolutely amazing art half of this little encounter here!

Fic Masterlist /// Link to A03

From the moment he laid eyes on him, Jonathan Crane could tell that Edward Nashton would be less than an ideal patient. From the way that he lounged carelessly in his chair to his casual gaze which swept along the many achievements and objects which littered the walls of Jonathan's office.

Every inch of the lanky frame screamed difficult and Jonathan found his mood worsening as he shifted past the meagre introductions which had been shared.

Jonthan flicked his eyes over the notes he had been provided from the incident report as his left hand rose to adjust the bolo tie which hung loosely around his throat.

"You destroyed a workstation in a fit of," Jonathan lifted the top sheet of paper from his clipboard as he quoted the report directly, "obvious rage while using considerably inappropriate language. These are not the actions of a rational man."

Unapologetic, Edward spread his hands in a wide gesture as a defensive smile stretched across his lips.

"I'm the only rational man in this city."

"Oh?"

Really having a limited interest in whatever nonsense Edward was about to spout, Jonathan made a quick note on his clipboard - ready to simply diagnose him with some asinine anxiety disorder and throw some medication at him to quell the worst of his obvious symptoms.

"The others are so willing to ignore the corruption," Edward continued with a growing irritation, "how unbearably stupid and foolish the criminals that rule this city choose to be."

"Harsh allegations."

"Only because the evidence is routinely destroyed. Weeks of work erased in an instance because a particular name would rather not be associated with the actions investigated." His tone snappy, Edward was clearly not at peace with his treatment and Jonathan frowned at the sudden emotional outburst. "Weeks! Good work. No recognition. Only a sharp reminder that our job is to catch real criminals."

"I can imagine the frustration."

Something in Edward's expression shifted and Jonathan tensed as he took in the change in body language, the immediate aggression which crawled into his leaning frame and clenching fists as Edward met his gaze without flinching. It was an open challenge and Jonathan would not back down as he accepted and adjusted his glasses to allow him to keep Edward's attention.

"You bore me. Don't feed me the words I want to hear, Doctor."

"Interesting. Do you see me as your enemy?"

Wary but slightly more interested in his patient, Jonathan asked the question with the smallest of smiles.

"Yes. Your work is as corrupted as mine even if your corruption comes from a more personal insistence."

Jonathan's blood ran cold.

"I do not know you, Mr. Nashton. Neither do you know me."

He couldn't know.

No one knew.

Especially not a jumped up technician from the GCPD.

No.

He was just fishing for information, attempting to claw back the control of the situation by fabricating infor-

"Your purchasing history is interesting, both online and in your role within this asylum." Edward grinned, his body language relaxing into something almost smug. "Meaningless to a layman, but a small touch of research and critical thinking goes to show just how dangerous the various chemicals and research papers you collect could be. Pair that with the increased reports of catatonia which patients under your care have been reduced to and we have something approaching a pattern."

"Mr. Nashton, these delusions do nothing to further yo-"

Rudely, Jonathan found himself cut off by a childish wave.

"Your business is your own and I have no reason to care for any of the degenerates in this building. My work is almost finished and I have my own important business to attend to. Where our paths cross is that I require a clean bill of health to leave my job with the appropriate supports in place."

Smiling widely, his glasses pushed tight against his eyes, Edward perched his fingers on the light-coloured vest which covered his shirt as his cheap shoes tapped a soft rhythm to the carpet. Opposite him, Jonathan felt much more uptight - the shift in dynamic having put his teeth on edge as the urge to regain control of the situation tempted him into dangerous territory.

"You're blackmailing me." Jonathan gritted out.

"If you choose to view it as such then yes. I choose to view it as a mutual exchange of services." Shrugging, Edward caught his hands between his knees. "You clear me, and I erase some of the more unsavoury purchases that you have unsuccessfully distanced from your name."

Seeing each other plainly, Jonathan abandoned any pretence of playing the game and his expression soured into open distaste, regarding Edward with contempt.

"And what guarantees do I have that you are speaking the truth? One word from me and you will be locked away with the worst that Gotham has to offer." Flashing a cruel grin, filled with yellowing teeth, Jonathan tilted his head. "I could have you in a shared cell which houses violence that would easily end a man like yourself."

"All my information is due to release at a specific time if I am not available to prevent it. Risk it all and see."

Reclining once more, Edward presented his hand before himself as he investigated his nails with a forced nonchalance.

"So, Doctor Jonathan Crane, how are we going to move past this?"

[mymoodwriting]

8.3k, Railway AU, yandere themes, vampires, kidnapping, human experimentation, reader is a geneticists, blood bags, research facility on island, compulsion, manipulation, firearms, guns, mentions of blood and death, implied murder, hostage, feeder, assault, abuse, smut, non-con, dub-con, aphrodisiac, fangs, claws, blood drinking, penetration, gropping, minor injuries, multiple rounds implied, imprisonment, physical harm, amnesia (@starillusion13)

“You must be new here… pretty puppet.”

Your grip on the clipboard in hand got tighter, shaking a bit from the nervousness. You still didn’t understand your situation at all, but you were trying not to show fear. A few hours ago you had woken up tied to a chair in what you could only describe as a classroom. You weren’t the only one present, but just like the others you were gagged and facing what you assumed was the front as a giant ‘welcome’ was projected onto the white wall. A while later this woman in a lab coat walked in, greeting everyone with this eerie enthusiasm. She said you had been chosen to assist with a secret government project, and your field of expertise was needed. You were a geneticist, recently graduated too. You didn’t have a proper job yet, and you didn’t imagine this would be it.

Although it was clear you had no say in the matter. The lady told you that you would be compensated handsomely, and not to try anything stupid. This project was located on an island, and highly guarded. As long as you cooperate there would be no issues. After this warm welcome you were all untied and then a guard escorted you to your room. From there you were told to get comfortable, a suitcase with some of your belongings had been brought for you, so you could unpack a bit. Someone would come by later to collect you. The fact some of your things had been brought let you know that you had been kidnapped in the night from your own place. You couldn’t imagine what was going on back home. Still, if you ever wanted to return, you’d have to behave. So you waited patiently until someone came.

Your room was nice and had everything you needed, which meant there was no problem locking you in. When you heard the door unlock you stood up, anxious to see who was there. To a bit of your surprise it was the lady who welcomed you that appeared. She still had that smile on her face, properly introducing herself as Dr. Yun, head of the research project. You were given a lab coat and clipboard, then told to follow her. You were shown around, starting to see how this place resembled a prison more than an actual lab. Apparently this project involved human experimentation, and you could see people wrapped up in bandages inside those cells. The team here was trying to enhance human biology. Now you better understood why you were there.

After the tour your role was being explained to you. They had a variety of samples they wanted you to examine and report on. From the sounds of it, they had high expectations of you, which just added to your nerves. You expected to be taken to an actual lab at some point, but instead Dr. Yun wanted to introduce you to someone. An isolated cell, bigger than the others, housed one individual. They weren’t like the others. Instead of bandages they wore proper clothes, and seemed to be going over some papers of their own. You could assume they were also part of the research team, but didn’t understand why they were locked up. Then Dr. Yun banged her clipboard against the door to get the other’s attention. They looked up and when you saw their eyes you froze. Those eyes, one normal and the other white, couldn’t be human.

“You must be new here, another poor soul dragged into this hell, aren’t I right, pretty puppet?”

“This is Dr. Bang.” Dr. Yun introduced. “He’s a consultant on our research. Although you likely won’t see him that much.”

“Ah…”

With all introductions done you were finally taken to an actual lab. This place you understood, and you were shown your station, being told where the samples were and how they expected you to submit reports. You still had many questions, but you kept them all to yourself. From what you had seen, if you did something they didn’t like you’d probably end up joining the experiment unwillingly, and you really didn’t want that. Now that everything was in place you got into a routine. You’d be given a simple breakfast to eat in your room, then Dr. Yun or a guard would escort you to the lab. Come lunch time you were escorted to the cafeteria. You and many others mostly ate in silence, the senior researchers openly engaging in conversations about the project or their own lives.

You’d spend your whole day in the lab, looking over different blood samples and reporting on the genetic makeup of each. There were a few anomalies here and there, but nothing drastic, and nothing that could really tell you what was going on. At the end of the day you were returned to your room and given dinner. Afterwards you’d wash up in your personal bathroom and then lie in bed. It wasn’t easy to fall asleep the first few days, but over time you got used to it. You trusted that you’d go home someday, so you just had to make it until then. Since the days were basically the same time didn’t have much meaning. The days just blurred together. That is until the morning Dr. Yun escorted you to Dr. Bang’s cell instead of the lab.

You were rightfully nervous, not sure why you were going to see Dr. Bang. Moreso when you saw Dr. Yun pull out a keyring and step over the white line, going to the cell door. Even if you weren’t supposed to be here, you were told to always stay behind the white line, where you were out of reach, so this didn’t make sense. You looked into the cell, but didn’t see Dr. Bang anywhere, so maybe he wasn’t around. When the door opened Dr. Yun told you to follow her, which you did so hesitantly. You looked around the cell, seeing some papers on the wall, but overall the cell actually seemed frightening. There were red stains on the walls and you finally got a good look at the weird decorations. You though there were just a bunch of weird lamps around but now you could see what they really were. Besides the jewels draped over them you could see all the blood bags.

“… what…”

“I’m sure you’ve at least sensed by now that Dr. Bang isn’t human.”

“Uh…”

“Come here.”

You went over to where Dr. Yun was, standing next to a table with something under a sheet. Once you got close enough she pulled back the sheet just enough to reveal Dr. Bang’s face. You screamed and stepped back. Seeing him up close, you could make out how pale he truly was, not to mention the lack of breathing.

“Is he…”

“No. Of course not, just rendered a corpse when he’s starved.”

“Starved?”

“Still haven’t figured it out?”

Dr. Yun chuckled, reaching under the sheet to pull out Dr. Bang’s hands, revealing claws. Then she carefully opened his mouth so you could see his silver fangs. Everything clicked into place then, and your eyes went wide.

“Vampire…”

“Correct.”

“They… they’re real…”

“Apparently so, and we’re fortunate to have one here with us.”

“How… how did you…”

“A long story, but I don’t have all the details.”

“Okay… uh… why are we here… why is he…”

“As you can imagine, he’s not completely here of his own will, but we have our ways to keep him under control.”

“Ah…”

Dr. Yun had brought a briefcase with them and set it down on an empty table. It was filled with blood bags and she asked you to help replace the empty ones. As you did so she explained that all the blood that was provided to him was that of an animal’s and it was tainted with sedatives and other narcotics. It was enough for him to be alive and well, but not at full strength nor have access to any of his other powers. Still, it was best to be cautious, so he was kept in a cell and no one was allowed near him when conscious. Of course when he ran low on blood he knew to lie down on the table and be patient. Once it was safe to enter the cell someone would replace his blood bags. To end it all Dr. Yun stuck a needle in his arm, making sure the blood was flowing and then ushered you out of the cell, locking the door behind her.

“He’ll be up in a couple of hours.”

“… why… why do you keep him here… why is he… alive…?”

“Scared, are ya? Of what his existence means?”

“I can’t really… grasp the situation…”

“That’s alright, it is hard to believe at first.”

“And he… consults… on the research?”

“He’s quite old and knowledgeable, but also a great specimen. If our goal is to enhance the human race, he can certainly help. We’ve taken donations from him to use in our research as well.”

“You mean… you’ve used vampire blood on the subjects? Is that what I’m seeing in the samples?”

“I’m certain we can figure out a way to give a human all the powers of a vampire without the bloodlust. Imagine it, such an achievement would be incredible.”

“Right…”

You still needed time to process the whole situation. Honestly you had forgotten about Dr. Bang once you really got into your own routine, but now that you knew the truth he’d certainly be stuck in your head for days. Although as you pondered over all this information you came to a grim realization. Dr. Bang was a vampire, which meant vampires and other supernatural creatures existed, but this information wasn’t publicly known. Now that you knew this secret, the chances of you ever going home were slim.This was the type of knowledge you would be killed over. By telling you all this Dr. Yun basically sealed your fate. Although that wasn’t the only reason for sharing such information with you.

It was difficult to get back into your routine. As you were escorted to the lab your gaze always went in the direction of Dr. Bang’s cell. By now you knew he was on his feet again, doing who knows what for this project. You were far more terrified to be here now, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. Not everyone knew about Dr. Bang or what he really was, so talking about him was forbidden. Not that you had anyone to talk to, it wasn’t really easy to make friends in such a place. Sometime later Dr. Yun took you back to Dr. Bang’s cell, briefcase in hand. She wanted you to help with the blood bags again, and it’s not like you could refuse. It seemed that this would be something added to your routine every once in a while, but then it changed again.

“You… you want me to… by myself…?”

“You can handle it.”

This time around, Dr. Yun handed you the briefcase and keyring, telling you to change the blood bags on your own. It wasn’t a difficult task, but going into Dr. Bang’s cell alone seemed unnerving. Still, you didn’t really have a choice in the matter. At least you wouldn’t be completely alone as a guard would escort you and wait outside the cell. You fumbled with the keys a bit, your own nerves getting the better of you but you managed to steady your breathing and unlock the cell. It seemed scarier now that you walked in all by yourself, but you had to remind yourself nothing was going to happen. Dr. Bang wasn’t technically alive at the moment, and you just needed to change the blood bags and be on your way. Simple and easy. You worked quickly, making sure everything was done right and put the needle in his arm before rushing out.

Unfortunately this wouldn’t be the last time you do such a task alone, but after a few times you got used to it. After all, you were just changing blood bags, and no one was technically in the cell with you. Although a few times the sheet would slip down enough for you to see Dr. Bang’s face. You couldn’t really deny the beauty, but at the moment he was technically a corpse, so such thoughts were weird. Despite the fact Dr. Yun had originally told you that you wouldn’t see much of Dr. Bang, that was clearly turning into a lie. Moreso when another task was added to your routine. It was nothing crazy, you just had to deliver some papers to Dr. Bang, which meant you had to see him in person, when he was awake. This errand made you nervous, but once again you couldn’t deny it.

“It’s you, isn’t it?”

“Uh…”

Dr. Bang chuckled. “No need to be afraid, although, I do like the scent. That’s how I know you’re the one who’s been changing my blood bags. I see Dr. Yun delegated that task to her new subordinate. How nice. Truly, to wake to a different scent lingering in my presence. Your fear and nerves now replaced by your own essence. It’s delightful.”

“I… I’m just here… to… to…”

“I know, I know. You have the latest reports. There’s a little drop box to your left, just place the files there. Don’t worry, I can’t reach you.”

“Right…”

You walked over to where the drop box was, staying behind the white line. You heard footsteps, glancing over at the cell door for a moment and seeing Dr. Bang against the bars, hands sticking out, watching you. Seeing him up close, you could really see how he was inhuman, yet beautiful. Although the piercing white left eye snapped you back to your senses and you looked away. It didn’t help much as you could feel his gaze on you.

“Until next time, pretty puppet.”

Once you finished your task you scurried off, not wanting to linger longer than necessary. Although you knew you’d be seeing him again and again. Reports were to be delivered weekly and around the same time, so he knew when to expect you. So now, when you showed up, he was already at the door, watching you and talking, trying to get you to talk to him, but you held your tongue. Or at least you tried to. He spoke so softly, sounding genuinely curious about you. Which you could understand. You had no idea how long he had been locked up here, and he probably didn’t get much of a conversation out of anyone, so it was probably very lonely. Still, he wasn’t always so kind, yet he was probably the most honest person on the whole island.

“You know this is all a lie, right?”

“…”

“Not the research of course, the scientists here really are trying to evolve the human race, but it’s not actually government sanctioned.”

“What…?”

“They kidnapped you, remember. Brought you to an isolated island. You don’t even know where in the world you are, do you? Not to mention I’m sure you’ve realized by now that there is no leaving. You’re on this island til you die, or the research succeeds and you’re one of the first artificially evolved humans, or you become a test subject, I suppose it all depends.”

“…”

Truth was, you had already figured that part out. This place was too odd and scary to be sanctioned by any government. The real question was who was funding all of this, and what kinda rotten luck did you have to end up here.

“Don’t be sad, pretty puppet. It’s not so-”

“I’m not a puppet!”

“Ah, she speaks, you’ll take the pretty part of the nickname though? How cute.”

“You-”

“What’s your name then, pretty puppet?”

“…”

“Come on now, you already broke the rules and spoke to me, might as well continue. I’ll go first, Doctor Bang Chan at your service.”

“You… your name is Chan?”

“Yes, and yours?”

“…”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, just spit it out, I won’t bite.”

“… y/n…”

“Y/n… how… cute.”

You really weren’t supposed to talk with Dr. Bang, just deliver papers, but he wasn’t just gonna keep quiet. You tried to keep things to a minimum, but he’d always say something to catch your attention. He didn’t seem like a monster that needed to be locked up, but you couldn’t do anything about it. Not that you should. You knew nothing about him, there was a reason he was here, not to mention helping with the research.

“Y/n…”

“Hm?”

“You know what I would really love…”

“Huh?”

You glanced at Chan, meeting his gaze, and you found it hard to look away. Since last week you had been noticing his stiff moments and scratchy voice. He was running low on blood, and slowly starving, yet he put on a smile for you. In a few days he’d be dead on the table and you’d change his blood bags. You didn’t really like watching him deteriorate, but it’s not like you were going to enter his cell and change his blood bags while he was still up. You had no idea what he was truly capable of.

“I’d love… to taste your blood.”

“What…?”

Chan broke out into a maniacal laughter, and his words certainly snapped you out of your daze. You stumbled back a bit, realizing it was time to go. Regardless of your feelings, and their fluctuations, this moment did well to remind you Chan was a vampire and extremely dangerous.

✷

The next morning you felt a bit groggy, struggling to get out of bed but you had to nonetheless. You felt off and decided to take a quick shower before you were escorted to the lab. Even your arm hurt, but you had to focus. If you were caught lacking somehow you feared the consequences. The next day you felt better, and as you predicted it wasn’t long before you were given a briefcase. You knew where you had to go. Although it was different this time. You weren’t just walking into an empty room anymore. After changing a few of the bags you pulled back the sheets, seeing Chan in a new light. 

It felt wrong to see him like this, knowing he was basically dead, and tomorrow he’d be alive again. You finished up with the last bag, placing the needle in his arm and heading out. You glanced back once more before closing the door and locking it behind you. In a few hours he’d be back to his usual self. At least that was what you thought. In reality, in a couple of hours everything was going to change.

Chan took in a deep breath as he regained consciousness, feeling a long forgotten energy coursing through his veins. He stumbled to his feet, feeling insanely parched compared to before. He desperately reached for the blood bag connected to the needle in him, biting into it with his fangs. It had been so long since he tasted human blood. He greedily drank every last drop, feeling discombobulated as his body adjusted and grew strong, remembering what it was like to be properly fed. Still, he knew this was his grand moment and he was not going to waste it. Chan gathered his things, going to the door of his cell and bending the bars to test his strength. He could feel it all coming back to him, and soon enough he broke down the door with ease.

“Doctor… Doctor Bang…”

A guard seemed to recognize Chan as he made his way to the upper levels, and he couldn’t help but smile as he saw the fear on their face. All he had to do was flash his fangs and make them run, and run they did. He could hear the crackle of a radio, a code black being called out. Soon enough the lights changed, showing what seemed to be emergency lights. Then to his own surprise some of the cells were opened. It seemed there great idea was to distract him for the moment by dealing with the deranged human subjects they kept locked up. He didn’t mind, he could use the blood, and the fun.

✷

You were in the lab when the lights changed, and those around you began to panic. You didn’t understand what was going on, but then you heard sirens, and a code black being called out. Since you had no idea what was happening you just followed the flow, leaving the lab with the others. Then you heard it. Screams and gunfire. The first thing that came to mind was that one of the more unstable subjects had gotten loose, but this seemed to be something more. As moved with the others you stumbled in your steps and then heard a very loud scream. You instinctively looked back to find the source, and then you saw it. Chan was out of his cell, attacking anything that got in his way. His escape was the code black.

Your eyes went wide with realization and you scrambled to your feet, starting to run. You just followed the others, having no idea what the protocol was for this. Although you suddenly remembered something from your first day. There was a control center in the building, you had been shown it on your tour. All incoming and outgoing signals went through there, and if help needed to be called, that was the place to go. You separated from the group and went to the control center, surprised and relieved to see Dr. Yun and some of the other seniors there as well. Although no one seemed to be placing a distress signal.

“What… what’s going on…?”

“Y/n, you’re here? Surprising. Don’t worry, everything is under control, take a seat.”

“Okay…”

You wanted to believe them. You didn’t know everything about this place, so surely they had a plan in place to contain Chan. You took an empty seat, taking a moment to catch your breath. You looked at the control panel before you, noticing a button with a case over it. All it said was ‘distress signal’ but it didn’t seem to be activated. You tried to ask Dr. Yun about it, but she seemed to be busy with something else. Surely all these people knew what they were doing, so you just needed to sit quietly and wait. That’s what you did until the door was kicked off its hinges, Chan walking in. He playfully twirled around his cane, covered in blood, taking in his surroundings. Before he could even speak Dr. Yun had drawn a gun, aiming it at him. Although he didn’t seem to be frightened.

“You really think that’s gonna work on me?” Chan chuckled. “I guess it makes you feel safe, doesn’t it?”

“How the hell did you get out!?”

“With a little help, isn’t that right, y/n?”

“What!?” You yelled. “I, I didn’t-”

“You betrayed us!” Dr. Yun pointed the gun at you. “Are you out of your mind!?”

“No! No, I didn’t help him! I never-”

“Calm down now, doctor.” Chan interrupted. “Don’t yell at her, she didn’t know what she was doing. Even now she has no idea what she’s done.”

“That’s not possible! You’re not strong enough to use compulsion!”

“Well, if I save my energy and use it at the right moment on the oh so impressionable mind you gave to me, anything is possible, don’t you think?” Chan teased. “You probably shouldn’t have delegated your tasks, huh? You got bored of me so fast, I bet you’re regretting it now.” “You… you…” Dr. Yun aimed the gun back at Chan. “You are never getting off this island!”

“That’s what you think.”

In the blink of an eye Chan stood before Dr. Yun, yanking the gun out of her hand and then tossing it to you. Fear had immobilized you, yet your body moved to catch the gun and then aim it at your senior. Your hands were shaking, but you had no control over yourself.

“What are you doing, y/n! Shoot him!”

“I… I… I can’t… move…”

“My pretty little puppet won’t hurt her master, you know that.”

Chan sauntered over to you, coming up behind you. When he placed a hand on your shoulder you jumped, but stayed in place. His chuckle reverberated through your whole body, making your heart race. He was well aware of this, and seemed to enjoy it.

“So excited to see me, but don’t worry my pretty little puppet. I don’t want you getting your hands dirty.”

Chan took the gun from your hand, disassembling it and then attacking the others in the room. You remained frozen in horror as blood splashed onto you, ultimately making you stumbled back a bit. He didn’t really kill anyone, he seemed to have other plans, and out of the corner of your eye you saw the distress call button. Without hesitation you pressed it, the little light under it flashing red. For a moment you felt some kind of relief, and then you found yourself pressed against a wall, Chan glaring daggers at you before laughing.

“Aren’t you adorable? You think that little button is gonna help you? No one is coming to your rescue. I told you this is someone’s secret little experiment, they won’t risk exposure getting any others involved. It’s just you and me now.”

“Please… please don’t kill me…”

“I will do no such thing my pretty little puppet, so don’t be afraid.”

You felt sharp claws brush against your cheek, making you flinch. Chan merely laughed at your actions, knowing very well you were at his mercy. He grabbed your chin and forced your eyes to meet. The smile on his face was the same as before, but everything else had changed.

“Now, how about a proper taste of the delicious blood you gave me, hm?”

It wasn’t a question, and within seconds Chan had buried his fangs in your throat. You screamed out, feeling the pain of the bite, and squirming in his grasp before a dangerously pleasurable sensation began to overtake you. Your hands desperately clawed at Chan’s back, but you couldn’t fight him. With every drop of blood he drank he grew stronger and stronger, and you became weaker and weaker. The edges of your vision were going dark but you didn’t really feel fear. When Chan pulled away he took in a deep breath, a devilish smile on his face as he licked his lips. You could only see his blurry face knowing you were second from slipping away into darkness.

“Rest, my pretty little puppet. There is much to do.”

✷

You inhaled sharply as you regained consciousness, grabbing your head as this throbbing pain overtook you. Images flashed before your eyes and you thought back to what had happened to you. Before Chan’s big escape he told you that he wanted to taste your blood, you just didn’t know he compelled the idea into your head. Without realizing you had stolen an empty blood bag and needles, drawing your own blood that night. When the time came to change his blood bags you snuck the extra one with you, swapping it out and using it as the blood bag that would awaken Chan. This was your doing, you just weren’t a willing participant. 

“… why… why…”

“Are you finally awake, my pretty little puppet?”

You jumped as you suddenly realized Chan was next to you, leaning in close. You moved away and nearly fell off the table but he grabbed your arm, chuckling.

“Easy there, wouldn’t want you getting hurt.”

“… let go… please…”

“Why? You scared of me now that I’m up close? I’ve been looking forward to this.”

“… why… why are you doing this…?”

“What? Did you think I’d remain in captivity for eternity?”

“I… you’re not… getting off… the island… I don’t-”

“Darling, you think I don’t know anything about this place?”

“… what…?”

“If there were ever any visitors they’d arrive by helicopter, but that stopped decades ago.” Chan explained. “Although, once a month a delivery ship comes by to drop off supplies. Untainted blood bags, food, lab equipment, and all the stuff. The next one is due in two weeks. When it arrives, I’ll take control, and sail to the mainland with my children.”

“Your… what…?”

“Ah, right, you’ve been out for nearly a day. Come, let me show you what I mean.”

Chan helped you to your feet, laughing as you were still shaky on your legs. You had no idea how much Chan had taken from you, but clearly you had yet to recover. He had no problem helping you, keeping a hand around your waist. The facility was dead silent. All the cells were empty, no guards were present, it was a ghost town. Chan took you out to the courtyard, it was a bright and sunny day. Your gaze immediately fell to Chan who had his eyes shut, basking in the sun. After a moment he started chuckling and turned to you.

“Did you think I’d burst into flames?”

“Ah… well, vampires…”

“I haven’t felt the sun on my skin in decades. This is so refreshing.” Chan took a breath. “Vampires don’t really fear the sun, it’s just an annoyance, really.”

You suddenly heard yelling and screeching looking down at the courtyard, your eyes going wide. The test subjects were all running around in the courtyard, out in the open like animals. You didn’t really understand until one of the was up against the fence, and you could see their fangs. More and more began to pile up, making Chan laugh.

“Don’t worry, the kids are just hungry.”

“You… you turned them?”

“Of course.” Chan let you go and got close to the fence, seeming playful with those on the other side. “Mindless little creatures had no other purpose in life, so I gave them a new one. Besides, I can’t just attack the mainland myself, now could I? An army of fledglings would serve me well. Newborn strength and bloodlust is something else.”

The test subjects were always unnerving. You never personally interacted with them but you saw how they moved like zombies. They didn’t talk, but would scream on occasion, and were treated like livestock. You couldn’t imagine what had been done to them to turn them into corpses. Now they were alive in a new way, but it wasn’t any better.

“Are you… going to turn me into one of them…?”

“Hm, I haven’t decided yet. You must be angry though, let’s get you fed.”

Chan took you back inside to the cafeteria, going into the kitchen and sitting you down on a countertop. He began browsing around, wondering what to give you. He grabbed a bunch of random things, presenting them to you with a sense of pride.

“There you are, that should be enough, right?”

“I… I can work with this…”

“Apologies, I don’t usually care for humans.”

“It’s fine.”

You ate what was given to you, not wanting to make a big deal out of anything. You also didn’t have much of an appetite yet. In any other situation you’d probably think of ways to escape but you had long ago accepted your fate. The vampire taking over doesn’t change anything. You couldn’t get off this island yourself, and the only other option was what Chan was waiting for. Not to mention he had a small army of rabid fledglings at his command he could easily use on you if you tried anything. So you were in the exact same situation as before except you weren’t exactly sure behaving would keep you alive. Chan was unpredictable, and you were completely at his mercy.

After eating Chan took you back to his cell. You weren’t sure what he wanted with you. He was still going over the research data, but eventually there would be an end to what he could read. You knew to a degree he had also been an unwilling participant, but now you were wondering if he had something to gain from this project too. Still, you kept your distance, sticking to a corner and quietly sitting with your legs close to your chest. He didn’t pay you much attention, not like you could do anything without him noticing. Although after a day his eyes would be on you. Once you’ve recovered enough for him to sink his fangs into you again.

“Tell me, what did you learn from all those samples?”

“Huh?”

“You’re a geneticist, right? Or at least that’s what you have a degree in. You read samples all day, reported on your findings, what did you learn?”

“I… I didn’t have all the data… I never really knew what I was looking at…”

“You could still see patterns and make assumptions, no?”

“Well… the samples were human… always with a foreign element, but… the foreign material itself was always incomplete, and the results were… the samples I examined were just blood work but the sequences I saw were always deteriorating… if this was ever applied onto a live specimen… they would not live long…”

“I’m sure you now know what the foreign element was.”

“Yes… vampire blood… but broken down… and in pieces… we know what happens when vampire blood and human blood mixes…”

“That’s the funny thing, it’s not that simple.”

“It… isn’t?”

“Of course. Perhaps if you knew the truth your hypothesis would change.”

“How so?”

“Vampire blood and human blood can have interesting effects, depending on the combination. My blood can heal human injuries, although if the injury is too far gone I’m afraid the human will die, and then be reborn.”

“That’s how you make a vampire?”

“Oh no, there’s one more step there. The first day a newborn yearns with thirst, not just for any blood, but the blood of their master. If it’s not given within those 24 hours a proper bond isn’t formed and those creatures remain slaves to the thirst, no matter what blood is given to them afterwards.”

“That’s… that’s what you did to those outside…”

“Smart girl, see, I knew you’d understand.”

“Is that why I’m alive…? Cause I… understand…?”

“Is that what you think?”

“… I… I don’t know…”

“A little mercy doesn’t hurt.”

“Right…”

“Since all your cognitive functions seem to be in order, how about you be a good girl and come here.”

The wasn’t a request. You shakily got up, taking slow steps towards Chan. He watched you with a predatory smile. He reveled in your fear, even if you tried to hide it. He knew it was only natural for you to be fearful. He lived by ingesting the life force that ran through your veins. In a mock form of chivalry he held his hand out to you, and you took it, letting those claws envelop your wrist like a chain around your throat. Once he had you in his grasp he pulled you close, burying his nose in the crook of your neck and breathing in deeply.

“The first time I awoke and caught your scent I was fascinated. In all my years, I finally had a new presence in my life. I was very curious about you, and I’ve yet to be satisfied.”

“Ah…”

You felt the cold brush of his fangs against your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. Your body unwillingly reacted to his touch, knowing very well what was in store for you, and wanting it. Chan’s hot breath against your ear, his low chuckle, it excited your body and betrayed your identity. Self preservation thrown out the window. All it really took was a handful of bites to turn you into his puppet. You tilted your head back, exposing your neck for him, and then you were rewarded. The initial sting was followed by a beauty of pleasure flowing into you. A soft moan escaped your lips as Chan wrapped his arms around you, holding you in his arms as he drained your strength. He was usually on your neck for longer, but this time he stopped, making you whimper.

“I haven’t been with a human in so long. Why don’t you indulge me in some carnal pleasures.”

Chan set you down on that cold table, his claws ripping at your clothes. You shook from the cold, but he just kept going, leaving you in your panties and bra. His hands ghosted over your body, then he took off his gloves. You had never really seen him without them. This time his claws glided over your chest, trailing down to your core. You flinched from the small knicks he’d make along the way, but the pain didn’t hurt as pleasure still coursed through your veins. You didn’t know what to expect from a vampire, but being gentle was not gonna be it. He pushed your legs apart, claws easily cutting away your panties and exposing you. For a moment you felt something cold rubbing against your center, then you inhaled desperately as you felt yourself being ripped open.

Your hands grabbed the edges of the table as you arched your back, Chan wrapping an arm around you and pulling you closer to him. He was all the way inside you in one swift motion, giving you only a moment to feel him before he started moving. He was fast and brutal, inhuman, but you didn’t really have any other experience to compare to. In a matter of moments he turned you into a moaning mess, rubbing against your sweet spot with every thrust, abusing it and bruising you from the inside out. His free hand went up your chest, cutting your bra with his claws and then gropping your breast. The little stings from his claw tips would certainly leave marks. Eventually your hands moved to wrap around Chan, wanting more even if you were already so out of.

Your mind was overwhelmed, your body at its limits, and your strength was halved to begin with. The edge of your vision was black, and yet in a second everything went white as Chan dug his fangs into the other side of your neck. The new rush of endorphins turned you into putty and your mind couldn’t withstand the high. You blacked out, slipping in and out of consciousness but Chan was nowhere near done with you. There were flashes of pleasure and inklings of pain here and there. You had no idea how many orgasms he wringed out of you and it didn’t matter, it was all so wonderful. You weren’t really sure when it all ended but at some point you were back in your own room, wrapped up in multiple bedsheets, sleeping on cloud nine.

When you finally got some sense back you sat quietly on your bed, processing in a foggy state of mind. There were no bite marks or little cuts, just fading bruises. A strange iron taste lingered on your tongue and you remembered what Chan said about vampire blood. You felt a bit sick, but then your stomach growled. You had no idea when the last time you ate was. So you got out of bed, stumbling to your hands and knees before you managed to stand again. Although when you got to the door you found it locked. You thought maybe you just lacked strength but you kept trying the door, and it wouldn’t budge.

“Finally awake, welcome back to the world of the living.” Chan giggled. “How did you sleep?”

“I… I… what…”

“You’re quite… exquisite… certainly worthy of my attention. Tell me, do you want another bite?”

Chan flashed his fangs at you, and a shiver ran down your spine. He very well heard your heart skip and broke out laughing. You averted your gaze, feeling embarrassed. After a moment he opened the door, holding out his hand to you. There was no reason not to take it. He didn’t wear gloves, so you took his cold hand, letting him pull you close and hold you up as you went to the cafeteria to get some food. This time he let you pick what you wanted and watched you have your fill. By now he knew you weren’t gonna run off and defy him, so he let you wander around as you pleased. Although at night he’d always lock you back in your room. For safe keeping as he’d say.

You didn’t really understand it at first until you heard the screaming and trampling steps. He let his little army run around the facility at night, going wild as was their nature. Then you heard it, the cries of a human being. Chan turned the test subjects, but every staff member that wasn’t you he kept around. Alive somewhere in the facility to feed on and then let loose for his army to hunt and play with. You glanced out of your cell one night and you saw someone running on the other side. Seconds later the fledglings ran past, and when you heard the screams you fell back. You definitely didn’t want to be out of your cell at night. During the day though, if Chan didn’t have you at his side he’d be out in the courtyard basking in the sun and playing with his unbreakable toys.

You weren’t entirely sure how much time had passed, but you knew that boat was bound to come any day now. It made you worry. From the beginning you had been nothing but a pawn for the vampire, using you as a means to escape, to take over the facility, and now merely for food and pleasure. He had bigger plans that went beyond you, plans that you had no idea about. Meaning you didn’t know if you were ever meant to leave this island alive. You didn’t even have the guts to ask, fearing it would be your end. Then again, it seemed you were already there. Any day now would be your last. Then one evening you heard the sound of a horn blasting through the speakers.

“Ah, I see I did set that up properly.” Chan smiled. “A bit early, but wonderful nonetheless.”

Chan threw you over his shoulder and carried you up to your cell, tossing you on the bed. You immediately moved to hide, thinking this was it. Chan laughed as he grabbed your ankles and dragged you back towards him. He flipped you over and crawled onto the bed, pinning you beneath him.

“Why are you running, my pretty little puppet? Scared?”

“Don’t kill me… please… please…”

“Who said anything about that? No, no, I have other plans for you, but I need you to stay put for now. So listen closely.” Chan grabbed your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “You are going to stay here and you are going to be quiet, understand?”

“I… I understand…”

Chan had no need to compel you once he had taken over the facility, but the fact he was doing it now raised questions. Not that you would get answers.

“Good, now some extra precautions.”

The grin that appeared on Chan’s face made you squirm, but he only kept you still, forcing your mouth open as he bit into his wrist, letting globs of blood spill down your throat. You gagged and coughed some of it out, but wound up swallowing a good amount. You thought that was it, but when he released you and got off the bed he grabbed your ankle once more, then he began to squeeze. You screamed in agony, trying to get him to let go, but he didn’t, not until he was done. He chuckled and grabbed your chin again, wiping your tears.

“Just a sprain, it’ll heal of course, but I don’t want you running off anyway. One can’t be too safe.”

Chan pressed a bloody kiss to your head before walking away. The metal door slammed shut and you heard it lock. A part of you wanted to go to the door and yell at Chan, scream for answers, but the slightest movement made you whimper. You were trapped here, as you always were. Perhaps it was for the best to be somewhere safe where no one could get to you, but it only made you wonder what would happen out there. You bit your lip and did your best to get in a comfortable position. You had no idea how long you’d be here.

✷

The horn of the ship was a welcomed disturbance to the peace he had cultivated. As he stepped outside he saw the giant vessel in all its glory, his mind filling with possibilities of the future to come. He stepped down into the courtyard, gathering up his army and heading to the dock. As he approached he saw someone tying down the ship, but when they notice him, they ran back aboard. Chan couldn’t help but laugh.

“No killing, just some maiming, my lovelies.”

Despite their rather animalistic state his children still knew who their master was, and were capable of taking orders. All he had to do was whistle and then they were off. He gave them a head start before going in himself, searching for the captain. As far as he knew that was the only person he needed alive, but he had to be sure first before he let the kids really have fun. With those preparations done he stepped off the ship to bask in the night sky. There was no rush to head out to sea just yet, so he could tie up a few loose ends. He made his way back to his cell, startled by what he found.

“You…”

“How… how are you here…?”

“Who do you think the distress signal called?”

“That’s impossible! You working with-”

“The only reason I’m here, is to take care of you.” The gentleman in white stood up. “You should have stayed in your cage.”

On the island, Chan reigned as a king, but to his own face, his own reflection staring back at him. It was the only thing that made him feel fear. The only instinct he had now was to run. He knew he was no match for the hunter. That would remain true as he was dealt with.

“Now to clean up your mess.”

Chris returned to the ship, dealing with all those abominations and finally putting them out of their misery. The only remaining crew members he compelled to treat each other’s wounds and wait for further orders in the helm. He dragged all the dead creatures off the ship, getting them in a pile and setting it ablaze. As he watched the fire burn his gaze shifted to the facility. He’d need to destroy everything now. Once he was sure the bodies would all burn up he went into the facility. Then he heard it. At this point he had silenced all other heartbeats, except for those on the ship, and what remained of Chan’s life, but this one, this one was new, and different. He followed the sound, coming to a locked cell.

Chris ripped the door off its hinges with ease, stepping into the room. He could immediately tell someone was living here, and then he noticed the body lying on the bed. The scent was human to his surprise. He didn’t expect any humans to be alive on the island. Once he got close enough he pulled back the covers, startling the girl. She moved in a panic but quickly stopped, alerting him to the sprained ankle she had. Still, she kept her distance, frightened and refusing to meet his gaze. He was still assessing the situation, and didn’t think twice about grabbing the girl’s face and forcing her to meet his gaze.

“Look at me.”

“Please! Please, don’t kill me!”

“I said look.”

You didn’t know what to expect now that Chan had returned, but you certainly felt something was different. Then you saw it. As you gazed at the face before you the eyes caught your attention. Chan’s left eye was white, but the boy before you, his right eye was white.

“… what…?”

“How come you’re alive?”

“I… I…” You could feel the pull of compulsion, but the question was complicated. “I don’t know… to feed on me? Or the research? He never… who… who-”

“My name is Christopher, but you can just call me Chris. Let’s get you out of here.”

Chris bit into his wrist, offering you his blood. That answered your other question, he was a vampire too. You didn’t think you had much choice here either, so you drank his blood. Afterwards he helped you to your feet, walking with you as you exited the facility. You wanted to keep your mouth shut for the sake of survival, but a question was burning your tongue.

“What… where…”

“He’ll waste away in the fire.”

Just as Chris answered you a groan caught your attention. You noticed a familiar body on the ground, speared in the chest which what you assumed was a piece of metal fence. For a moment your steps slowed, and Chris quickly noticed. He stopped in his tracks and pulled you in front of him, getting you to meet his gaze.

“I want you to forget about everything, and everyone, on this island, do you understand?”

“… forget…”

“Good girl. Come on, I-”

“Are you gonna kill me…?”

Before the last bit of your memory completely faded away you managed to ask one last question. Even if you wouldn’t understand what came next.

“I don’t think so.”

“Then… what…”

“Hm.” Chris brushed some hair behind your ear, taking you in for a moment. “I haven’t quite decided yet.”

[jaikoyaki]

Stop staring, Kang Haerin!

CHAPTER 1:

Love Hate at first sight.

Masterlist - next

SYPNOSIS:Haerin, the vice president of the debate club, always seemed to give you cold, dismissive looks—or at least, that's what you thought. Convinced she couldn’t stand you, you never expected to have anything to do with her. You assumed she just hated you. But when the club loses a key member before an important competition, you—known for your academic excellence—are the obvious choice to step in.

Words: 1.2k

You stood outside the debate clubroom, staring at the door as if it might bite you. You hadn’t expected to be here, let alone as the club’s last-minute solution to their unexpected crisis. It was only a week ago that your best friend practically begged you to join, explaining that one of the club’s key members had transferred schools. She made it sound like the club would collapse if you didn't join, a bit dramatic maybe, but it worked. So, here you were.

With a deep breath, you pushed the door open.

The room fell silent as the members looked up from their seats. It wasn’t a large group, but it was definitely enough to make you feel out of place. You quickly scanned the room and spotted her—the person you had been dreading ever since your best friend mentioned you joining: Kang Haerin. Vice president of the debate club. Everyone knew about her, with her sharp mind and even sharper stare. She sat near the center, her arms resting on the table as she fidgeted with her fingers, her gaze fixed on you in a way that sent a chill down your spine. You had never spoken to her before, but you always seemed to lock eyes with her in the hallways or the cafeteria, only to be met with that piercing stare. Over time, you just assumed she didn’t like you.

Your heart sank a little as you caught her eyes again just like almost everyday. She was staring at you like you were an unwanted intruder, her gaze hardening the longer you stood there. Her expression gave nothing away, but it felt like judgment, and it made you want to turn around and leave.

But you didn’t. You couldn’t. You’d already committed to this.

"L/N, I'm so glad you could make it!" the club president—Danielle, said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "We’ll start with introductions. Everyone, this is Y/N. She’s joining us to help out with our upcoming competition."

You gave a nervous smile and waved awkwardly, trying not to glance at Haerin again. But it was impossible not to feel her eyes on you.

What the hell did you even do?

You quickly tried to shake the thoughts from your head as Danielle continued to speak, unaware of the growing pit in your stomach.

"Alright, Y/N! Since you’re new here, we’ll just ask a few questions so you can get settled in. Then, we’ll go into some practice."

You nodded, forcing a smile, but your mind was still stuck on the girl. Why did she always look at you like that? Her feline eyes were now focused on something else—thankfully—but it didn’t erase the feeling of being under constant scrutiny.

"How familiar are you with debates?" one of the members asked, pulling your attention back to the group.

"I’ve participated in a few competitions before," you answered, your voice a little shaky but honest. "But not anything on the scale of what you guys are preparing for."

"That’s great! We need all the help we can get right now." Danielle beamed, clearly relieved to have you there.

A few more questions were thrown your way—what topics you preferred, your strengths in public speaking, whether you had experience with research— blah blah blah, and you did your best to answer. Still, every now and then, your gaze would flicker to Haerin, who hadn’t said a word the entire time. She just sat there, fidgeting with her fingers but always watching. Judging. Or at least, that’s what it felt like.

Eventually, the questions died down, and the practice session began. Danielle explained the plan for the upcoming competition while passing out some papers. You tried to focus, but your nerves made it hard to absorb much.

As you shuffled through the notes handed to you, a piece of paper slid across the table toward you. Startled, you looked down.

It was from Haerin.

Your breath caught in your throat as you hesitantly unfolded it, expecting some kind of passive-aggressive note telling you to do better or not screw up.

But it wasn’t.

It was a neatly written list of points for the debate topic.

Confused, you glanced over at Haerin, but she didn’t meet your gaze. She simply stared straight ahead, her expression as cold and unreadable as ever. Was she helping you? Or was this just for the club’s benefit? You couldn’t tell.

You went along with it, following the points she’d given you. As the discussion went on, you occasionally heard whispers from Haerin’s direction, something like, “Mention that stat here,” or “Bring up the counter-argument now.” Her tone was low, controlled. Her instructions were precise, helpful, even. But it only deepened the confusion.

Why was someone who supposedly didn’t like you going out of her way to help?

Still, it all felt... impersonal. Like it wasn’t about you at all. Like it was just for the sake of the competition. There was no way this was personal. Not with how she looked at you every time your eyes accidentally met.

By the end of the session, your nerves had settled, though the weight of Haerin’s gaze hadn’t. You collected your things, ready to make a quick exit.

"Good job today," Danielle called out as you waved a polite goodbye to the rest of the group.

As you stepped into the hallway, you couldn’t help but replay everything in your head—Haerin’s silence, the notes, the whispers. Maybe she didn’t hate you after all. Or maybe she was just doing her job as vice president, making sure everything ran smoothly for the sake of the competition. The two voices debated in your head as you absentmindedly walked toward the exit.

It wasn’t the first time you'd felt this way around her. The memory hit you like a wave, taking you back to that moment in math class last semester—the first time you really noticed Kang Haerin.

Back then, you were seated next to her, and you had felt it from the beginning: that stare. You’d glance over, only to find her already looking at you, her cat-like eyes unreadable. It was unnerving, like she was silently criticizing every move you made.

One particular moment stood out to you. You had been working on a problem in your notebook, struggling with a tricky equation. You glanced over, hoping for some clue that maybe she was having just as much trouble, but there she was, solving it effortlessly—her expression calm, focused, and... sharp.

When your eyes met, it felt like time froze. Her gaze was intense, like she could see right through you, picking apart your every flaw. It wasn’t a glare, not exactly, but it felt just as piercing.

The longer she looked, the more your anxiety built up So you broke eye contact, quickly returning to your own notes, feeling your hands clam up. You’d been so rattled by that stare that you ended up switching seats with a classmate the next day, just to get away from her.

Just then, Haerin brushed past you, heading in the opposite direction. You caught a glimpse of her bag and noticed a small frog keychain dangling from the zipper. It was an unexpected contrast to her sharp, no-nonsense demeanor, and for a moment, you found it oddly... cute. You couldn’t help but smile a little to yourself as she disappeared down the hallway.

Who are you Kang Haerin?

Taglist: @saysirhc

[raointean]

Silmarillion Survey Essay!

My essay was due last night (submitted it with 6 minutes to spare!) and my professor said I could post it to Tumblr if I wanted to. It's divided into four sections, all marked. The first section is the introduction where I explain the point of the survey, who I studied, and why. The second section is the methods I used to design the survey, get answers, record answers, and control for variables. The third section is results, where I highlight several of the questions I thought would be most stratifying and explain what I actually found (it has graphs!). The fourth section is the discussion where I talk about what I found and what conclusions I drew from that.

I'd love to hear all of your thoughts on the results and my conclusions!

Introduction

            For this project, I looked into age (and length of time in fandom, in one case) affected knowledge and attitudes about fandom language. I investigated several terms and phrases, both from fandom at large and from the Silmarillion fandom specifically. The group I studied was the fandom of The Silmarillion on Tumblr because I am intimately familiar with that internet space (and could therefore phrase the questions in a way that would be understood) and because the majority of Archiveofourown.org (a popular fanfiction website) users are also Tumblr users.

            For the purposes of this paper, I am defining the Silmarillion fandom as a community of practice. The Wenger-Trayner article, “Communities of practice a brief introduction”, defines a community of practice as an entity with three parts: domain, community, and practice. The domain is “an identity defined by a shared domain of interest” (Wenger-Trayner 2). The domain in this case is The Silmarillion. As The Silmarillion is a history book set in a fictional universe, it is incredibly dry at times (there is an entire chapter titled “Of Beleriand and its Realms” which deals mostly with geography) so anyone who reads it by choice is necessarily interested in the work. The second part, community, is made up of “members [that] engage in joint activities and discussions, help each other, and share information” (Wenger-Trayner 2). Most fandoms engage in discourse/discussion, create transformative art (mostly written or visual, but I have seen musical as well) and exchange craft advice to better each other’s creative work, but due to the almost academic nature of the Silmarillion fandom, we exchange background lore knowledge, additions to Tolkien’s conlangs, translations, timelines, and character sheets in addition to the regular fandom activities. Finally, the Silmarillion fandom also has a shared practice, defined as “They develop a shared repertoire of resources: experiences, stories, tools, ways of addressing recurring problems—in short a shared practice” (Wenger-Trayner 2). As mentioned above, the Silmarillion fandom has shared resources (such as tolkiengateway.net, Nerd of the Rings on YouTube, as well as several established “fandom elders” who are happy to answer questions), stories, established characterizations for “only-mentioned-once-in-a-footnote” type characters, settled linguistic debates, and several research-oriented blogs (such as two of my own) that record niche or new knowledge about either Tolkien’s work or the fandom itself. Almost all of the above (with the possible exception of the website and the youtuber previously mentioned) is unpaid hobby work.

            When doing this survey, I expected to find a rather steep difference between older and younger members of fandom regarding their knowledge of fandom terminology. I expected the 18-25 age group to be the most knowledgeable of fandom terms with the under 18 group to be only slightly behind them and the 26-30 group a slightly further way behind the under 18 group. For the groups over 30, I anticipated that the rate of knowledge would sharply decline and that older fans would be unfamiliar with fandom terminology for the most part. I was… incorrect.

Methods

            There are eight questions highlighted in this paper. The first chart (Figure 1.) is the total percentage of answers that amounted to “I don’t know”, filtered by age. The first table (Figure 2.) looks at the people who did not know the term “Isekai” based on whether or not they were native speakers of English or live in Asia (given that “Isekai” is a Japanese word). The second table (Figure 3.) compares the percentage of people who mentioned that the word “angst” is also present in everyday German, categorized by German speakers and non-German speakers. The third table (Figure 4.) examines attitudes towards the anti/pro-ship terms based on age. The second chart (Figure 5.) examines attitudes towards the term “omegaverse” separated by age. The fourth table (Figure 6.) compares groups of people who could define the difference between “peredhel” and “peredhil”, separated by how long they have participated in the fandom surrounding the Silmarillion fandom. The third chart (Figure 7a.) looks at people who understand the phrase “Fëanor did nothing wrong” as a joke, filtered by age. Finally, the fourth chart (Figure 7b.) shows the percentage of people who used the phrase “tongue-in-cheek” in the 31-40 group as opposed to other age groups (that one was not explicitly asked for in the survey; I simply noticed a steep trend while dissecting the results from the “Fëanor did nothing wrong” question).

            I compiled all of these questions (along with several others) in a google form as a three-part survey. The first part was comprised of basic demographic questions, the second of general fandom terms and phrases, and the third of terms and phrases specific to fanfiction of The Silmarillion. The 418 responses were recorded and examined in Google sheets, which I used to filter the demographic information for ease of synthetization.

            The group I examined was people who participate in the Silmarillion fandom on Tumblr. I chose this group because I am familiar with them, because they are the most likely to be aware of these terms (due to the large overlap between Tumblr and Archive Of Our Own), and because fandom language is (to the best of my knowledge) not well studied. I was able to isolate this group by only posting the survey to Tumblr itself. Tumblr posts are only viewable to Tumblr users, so even if someone were to post a link to the post elsewhere, the only people able to access the survey would be Tumblr users. I further attempted to control by including several fandom related and The Silmarillion-specific questions in the demographic portion of the survey. Anyone who completed the demographic portion would have been well aware of the nature of the survey by the end, regardless of how poorly they understood the original survey posting. These measures, of course, did not stop everyone. I had a few respondents who submitted only the demographic portion or the demographic and general fandom portions. Luckily, due to the Google Sheets functions, such responses were relatively easy to filter out.

Results

(Figure 1. A chart observing, out of all 16,065 answers, how many equate to “I don’t know?” Under 18: 14.24%, 18-25: 5.9%, 26-30: 7.43%, 31-40: 9.17%, 41-50: 13.63%, 51-60: 7.3%, 61-70: 9.7%)

(Figure 2. A table comparing different categories of people and what percentage of them are unfamiliar with the term “Isekai”; a Japanese term which is most commonly defined as “a trope in which a character somehow travels from the mundane ‘real’ universe into a fictional one.” 23.08% of native English speakers are unfamiliar with the term. 27.07% of non-native English speakers are unfamiliar with the term. 20% of respondents who live in Asia are unfamiliar with the term.)

(Figure 3. A table comparing different categories who mention that “Angst” (defined in fandom context as “dramatic, serious, and sometimes dark”) is an everyday word in German. 12.73% of German speakers mentioned it. 1.38% of people who either do not speak German, or did not mention it in their language background, mentioned it.)

(Figure 4. A table comparing the attitudes of different age groups to the terms “anti-ship” and “pro-ship”. These terms are hotly debated in fandom. Those on the anti side of the debate define anti-ship as “being morally against abuse and pedophilia,” and pro-ship as “excusing abuse and pedophilia in fandom.” Those on the pro side of the debate define anti-ship as “puritanical and chronically online people who can’t separate reality and fiction” and pro-ship as “letting people ship whatever they want and separating reality from fiction.” Those under 18 are 4% anti, 4% pro, and 92% neutral. Those from 18-25 are 2.44% anti, 29.27% pro, and 68.29% neutral. Those from 26-30 are 0% anti, 33.67% pro, and 66.33% neutral. Those from 31-40 are 2.2% anti, 26.37% pro, and 71.43% neutral. Those from 41-50 are 0% anti, 46.15% pro, and 53.85% neutral. Those from 51-60 are 12.5% anti, 37.5% anti, and 50% neutral. Those from 61-70 are 0% anti, 50% pro, and 50% neutral (although, admittedly, there are only two respondents in that group.))

(Figure 5. A chart that shows the rate at which respondents cringed (using phrases such as “please don’t make me define this,” “oh god,” and “Nuh uh. Sorry man. Sweet baby rays good lord.”*) within their responses while defining “Omegaverse” (an erotica subgenre within fandom based on outdated wolfpack dynamics. Very popular, but also very taboo). Under 18: 16%, 18-25: 6.71% 26-30: 7.07%, 31-40: 6.45%, 41-50: 12%, 51-60: 12.5%)

*All real responses I received

(Figure 6: A chart exploring the differences between who can correctly identify the difference between the terms “peredhel” (half-elf, singular) and “peredhil” (half-elves, plural) based on how long they have been in the fandom. Those who have been in the fandom for less than a year are 31.71% correct and 14.63% incorrect. Those who have been in the fandom for 1-2 years are 71.67% correct and 10% incorrect. Those who have been in the fandom for 3-4 years are 74.44% correct and 7.78% incorrect. Those who have been in the fandom for 5-9 years are 65.93% correct and 9.89% incorrect. Those who have been in the fandom for 10-14 years are 73.85% correct and 12.31% incorrect. Those who have been in the fandom for 15-19 years are 76.92% correct and 11.59% incorrect. Those who have been in the fandom for 20-24 years are 69.57% correct and 13.04% incorrect. Those who have been in the fandom for 25-29 years are 100% correct and 0% incorrect. Those who have been in the fandom for 30-34 years are 75% correct and 0% incorrect. Those who have been in the fandom for 35-39 years are 100% correct and 0% incorrect.)

(Figure 7a. A chart observing who sees the phrase “Fëanor did nothing wrong as ironic” divided by age. Under 18: 23.53%, 18-25: 35.77%, 26-30: 36.9%, 31-40: 42.67%, 41-50: 22.22%, 51-60: 37.5%)

(Figure 7b. A chart observing the percentages of age groups who used the phrase “tongue-in-cheek” while answering the above question. 18-25: 1.84%, 26-30: 2.04%, 31-40: 9.78)

Discussion

            Observing these results, I can see that, while there is some level of stratification by age and length of time spent in the fandom, it is not nearly as dramatic as I had expected it to be. These results strongly demonstrate the power of communities of practice. These people, across ages and continents, communicate so often and so deeply, that nearly all terms are understood to the same degree by everyone, and nearly everyone has similar stances on divisive pan-fandom debates.

            Were I to do this study again, or a similar study in the future, I would probably narrow the purview by a lot. I would ask fewer questions (or at least, only ask questions of a single type), compare them against only one demographic question, and sincerely consider making them multiple choice. That being said, I do not regret this survey having short answer questions. There were several definitions of several terms that I never could have come up with in a million years. Synthesizing the short answers may have taken more effort on my part, but I learned a lot about my fandom.

@proship-anti-discussion (ship debate was mentioned)

[parabiota]

Kaijuno has possibly been lying about being an astrophysicist for 8 years: a compilation

Abstract: Kaijuno made her initial claim to Tumblr fame in 2016 with the release of a few popular posts. In the 8 years which followed, she has been wearing the title of astrophysicist with pride. I call this title into question on behalf of all Tumblr users. All evidence has been gathered with legal and publicly available information. Posts will be screenshotted, as well as embedded with a link to prove I have sourced them publicly. While I cannot prove anything beyond a doubt, I hope this raises suspicion of her past, current, and future actions. I do not wish any harm on her. I just wish to inform people of her alleged lies since she has been taking emergency donations on her Tumblr blog for years.

1. Introduction Jessica Peck -- whose name is public and has been sourced through Paypal, Cashapp, and Venmo accounts linked to her Tumblr -- of Flint, Michigan (also publicly sourced via posts she made) has been running the blog Kaijuno since August 2014. She has been claiming to be an astrophysicist since at least August 2016, and continues to as of today (7.13.24). It is my firm belief that she is not an astrophysicist, but rather had dropped out of an undergraduate physics program during or after 2017. Additionally, I believe the art she has been posting since 2023 to have been made with AI. While I have not looked into her financial situation, I believe that if she is truly lying about her career and art, it is entirely plausible for her to lie about her finances as well.

2. Methods

2.1 Outside Research With a publicly sourced name and location, I was able to use a variety of public resources at my disposal to track any published papers or accounts on other websites. A quick search through Google Scholar yields no results of anybody named Jessica Peck publishing a paper on astrophysics. I have not searched through other databases -- I don't find it necessary but I do implore others to search if they wish.

The next place to check was Linkedin. A similar search yielded a public Linkedin page attributed to someone of the same name and state:

This page has seemingly not been updated since 2017, during her undergrad. An important thing to note about Linkedin is that does say she graduated in 2020. However, when you link your university to Linkedin it lists your expected graduation year regardless of whether you've graduated or not. This does not prove graduation, but that she has gone for an undergraduate degree in physics at one point with an estimated graduation year of 2020.

Everything else comes directly from her Tumblr blog. I'm embedding all screenshots with links, however I anticipate most of them being deleted.

2.2 Direct Quotes Jessica has claimed to have a graduate degree, specifically a Ph.D, on numerous occasions. These have generally been played off as jokes, though I do believe the intention of posting them has been to persuade people that she does have a degree.

Here she claims shes going back to college (10.30.23):

But here she claims she has '2 PhDs'(10.30.23). The following two screenshots single-handedly contain the bulk of my evidence.

NOTE: The usernames and icons have been blocked out, as those people are not involved with this post.

The 'free college because I'm 26' appears to be from Michigan Reconnect, a scholarship program which pays for community college for students over the age of 25 who do not have a college degree. The only way Jessica would be benefiting from this program would be if she never completed her undergraduate degree in 2020. This appears to be the only way you can get free or discounted college tuition exclusively based on age in the state of Michigan. While she could get her tuition paid for her by FAFSA, that is income-based, NOT age-based.

If she is currently attending college and benefiting from this age-based aid program, she cannot possess the multitude of prior degrees she has otherwise attested to. This means that, effectively by her own admission/contradiction, she does not have any sort of degree in astrophysics, but rather used to be a physics student that never completed her degree.

This is all of the information I have collected on her academics. Again, every single part of this has been publicly sourced, and any person would have been able to find all of this information the same exact way that I have.

3. Results // AI Art and General Bitchery This is a collection of art she claims to be her own, and how I visually identified it as AI:

(This is just Heroforge. Maybe with a filter over it. Anyone familiar with Heroforge knows this.)

I present one final screenshot:

This doesn't prove anything about her academic, art, or financial state. I am simply including this to show people how she truly feels about those who have given her donations over the past several years.

4. Conclusion I'd like to close this out by saying: no, none of this is definitive proof. I have no desire to dig any deeper than the resources that are publicly available. If you've noticed, I have not stated anything about her financial situation. This is because I haven't seen anything she posted which contradicts her financial state, other than the fact that she has been lying about her other personal details for years. It is my opinion that she did not graduate college, but she does appear to be unemployed at the very least. I'd appreciate it if people formed their own beliefs based upon this post rather than taking my word as complete fact, and do their own research as well.

With that being said -- if you disagree with anything I have posted, by all means let me know. And feel free to add if there is something else I missed. I only ask that you take this post into consideration before you donate her money, as the person you're sending it to might not be who she advertises herself as.