#instead i should journal them or just dump them here

[depthnessingsweet]

.

[spacebell]

im starting my yearly birthday existential crisis week early

[steamy-linguine]

LATE NIGHT BEER

Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader

Read part 2 here

A/N: OMG, HI??? It’s been forever and I haven’t posted in ages but I’ve been on a wolverine kick and thought I should dump a drabble. Anyway, it’s a slow burn and the reader is already given a mutant name, enjoy, might post a pt. 2 hehe

Warnings: None, all fluff, slow burn (sorry), old man logan (need him)

Word count: idk??? Sorry babes.

There you were. Sitting in the garden with your hair pushed behind your ear, a pen between your lips, and a journal in front of your eyes in the grass.

You were new, he could tell. He would’ve remembered a face like yours before.

“Who’s that?” He pointed in the direction of the girl and Scott did a double take.

“That’s Aurora. She can manipulate light,” Scott answered him before he carried on about some mission but Logan was too entranced to pay attention to his words.

You laid on your stomach with your legs in the air, swinging slowly. You pulled the pen from your lips and began scribbling something and he peered his eyes as if he could see that far, or so he wishes.

“Logan, come on we’ve gotta go.” Scott broke his concentration. Trying not to draw any attention to himself, he turned to follow Scott and leaving the area.

So it was like this for the next few weeks. He would walk into the garden and you would be in your usual spot with the same journal. He would even catch you sometimes in the den watching tv with Rogue. You had a laugh that carried down the hall and would fill the space with something warm that would bloom in his chest.

He hated it, because he knew he couldn’t have you. He was much older, not in an illegal way (of course) but you were young and full of life while he was well over 200 years old, and lived a life full of loss which shaped him into the bitter man he was today. One of the days, he was walking the hallway trying to find Storm for some favor that he had forgotten about when you both had crossed paths and for a moment your gaze caught one another.

You gave him a gentle smile and he instead turned his eyes away from yours and continued forward although just your presence made him forget whatever the fuck he was going to do or ask.

The next night, Logan laid in bed trying to fall asleep but something was keeping him awake or more so someone. Ever since he had known you were here, you always invaded his thoughts and it was every night. He could usually push them away and try to sleep but he couldn’t stop thinking about that same tender smile you gave him. It was already bad enough that everyone around him loved you and wouldn’t shut the fuck up about you and now you were invading his thoughts before bed.

He let out a heavy sigh as he got out of bed and knew what could help him in moments like this which was a nice cold beer. He walked the hallways of the mansion, which was filled with nothing but silence and the sounds of the crickets that sang their night song outside of the windows. He pushed open the door into the kitchen when the fridge door shut suddenly and the sound of a bottle popping caught his attention and he turned.

“Sorry, was I loud?” You asked him in a soft voice, your eyes held an apologetic gaze.

His eyes searched over your body and he shook his head, “No.”

The two stood in silence and Logan looked at the bottle in your hands. “That’s my beer, bub.”

You looked down and you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks and the lights in the kitchen flickered for a brief moment and he figured that you might be feeling a bit intimidated.

He shrugged, “You don’t need to be nervous. I also like a cold beer at night.”

He moved closer to you and you took a step back as he towered over you for a second before turning to open the fridge. His shoulders were broad and his arms were huge, you could tell under the white shirt that he was all muscle. Logan grabbed himself a bottle and closed the fridge.

He walked on the other side of the kitchen island and took a seat, popping open his beer also.

“Logan, right?” You broke the silence. He swallowed whatever was in his mouth and he nodded his head.

“Rogue speaks highly of you. She says you’re a friend.” Your voice is soft and you lean back against the fridge doors. He watches as you press the bottle to your lips and takes a drink.

“I’m sure she’s really the only one that thinks that.” His spoke in a hushed tone.

You smile, “Oh no, everyone thinks you’re pretty cool. I mean you are the wolverine.”

A ghost of a smirk graces his face and he looks down for a split second and back to you, whose eyes never left him.

“How are you liking the mansion?” He asks you trying to change the subject.

He notices there is a shift in you. You look around at your atmosphere and for a brief moment he can see there is a hint of sadness in your eyes. “It’s…nice.” You finally answer.

Logan doesn’t press for an answer from you because he knows that expression to well. You were hiding something and it was painful.

“Well, the students seem to like you.” He affirms.

“Is it only the students?” You ask him and Logan raises a curious eyebrow and you do the same to him.

God, I’m too old for this shit.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t want to just take you and kiss you right now. Lips pressed together and teeth pulling at the bottom of your lip. He wondered how soft your skin would feel under his rough hands, how sweet your voice would sound when you would call out his name and he wouldn’t even cover your mouth, he’d want to hear you.

“I’ve seen you quite a bit Logan.” Your voice pulls him out of his thoughts and he focuses on your words now. “But every time I’ve tried to talk to you, you just ignore me.” You chuckle out the last part.

Logan clears your throat, “I’m sorry I’m not good with conversation.”

“Rogue said that.”

“Of course she did.”

It’s quiet again as the two of you continue to drink and your eyes never leave one another.

“I should probably head to bed. Class is tomorrow and I’m here drinking your beer. Again, I’m really sorry I just assumed since it was in there-“

“It’s fine, bub. Just keep this”-He gestured to the beers-“Between us or else I won’t hear the fucking end of it from Scott.” He said to you as he stood on his feet and held his bottle in his hand.

You gave him that same sweet smile and you nodded as you wished him a goodnight and walked out.

He couldn’t get their conversation out of his head. He only went in the kitchen in hopes to drown his thoughts in the comfort of alcohol only to find the one thing that was being a distraction for him to be standing there in pajamas. It was comedic almost when he thought of it truly.

Logan didn’t think he would ever get another chance to talk to you again but on the next night when he couldn’t escape his thoughts, he went downstairs for another drink only to find you there already waiting for him with two cold beers on the counter.

A/N: CHEESY?? Maybe but pt. 2 will have smut…

[mbgwriting]

Describing Setting with Intent

Recently, I saw a post expressing the sentiment somewhere along the lines of I’m a good writer until I have to describe a room and then forget about it. And my first thought was…so don’t describe the room. Just don’t.

I know what you’re thinking. But my reader won’t know what’s in my mind if I don’t describe it! It’s lush and atmospheric! (Or possibly, It’s my story and I want to!)

Listen. Writer to writer. I know. But if your reader is too bored with your description of the setting to get through the page, they’re not going to see your vision at all because they’re not going to finish your story. 

That doesn’t mean that you can’t give them an idea of what they’re looking at, and that doesn’t mean you can’t ever describe the setting! Let’s talk about it. 

-If you’re bored, your reader is bored. First and foremost. This is just something to remember all the time when writing. If you don’t want to write it, if it’s not working, if you think it’s not interesting–that is your writer’s instinct telling you something! Find a way around it instead of slogging through because you think you have to. 

-Sprinkle in your scene imagery. Think of yourself as the salt bae of descriptive information. Instead of info-dumping, only give tidbits of information as they become relevant to your POV character. Your character notices the breeze as it blows their hair into their face. They notice the uneven ground as they stumble on it. And look, on your first draft, maybe you do info-dump! It’s okay! You have the words on the page, that’s what the first draft is for. When I catch myself doing this, it’s as simple as asking where you can flesh out (and spread out) those details in a more interesting way. 

-Remember what your POV character would actually notice. This example isn’t a room description, but the concept applies. I read The Silent Patient this year. The first chapter begins as a journal entry, and it includes a detailed description of the journal…which we are meant to believe the POV character is currently writing in. When was the last time you wrote in your diary and said “yeah this is my pink Hello Kitty notebook and she’s eating an apple on the cover”? Never. You’ve never done that. You know what the notebook you’re writing in looks like. And guess what? As a reader, that information was not essential to me. I know what a journal looks like. So your main character shouldn’t be describing a familiar setting to your reader like they’ve never seen it before. That isn’t to say you can’t get away with a throwaway detail here and there. It means that it should be just that—a throwaway, so small that it’s barely noticeable, but adds to the visual experience. 

-Go beyond the visual. This goes hand-in-hand with imagery. What does your setting sound like? Smell like? What is the lighting like? Is it warm or cold? Does it feel damp? This is especially useful because even in a familiar place, you might overlook visuals but still pick up on other sensory input–like when you walk into your house and notice if it smells like dinner is cooking or if someone forgot to take the garbage out. 

-Use character action to give texture to the room. What the heck does that mean? It’s a really obnoxious way to say the same thing you’ve heard a thousand times. Show, don’t tell. This can be as simple as mentioning that a chair feels rickety as your character sits down, or giving your characters something to do as they have their conversation. Even if they are simply chatting over the dinner table, you can describe the clink of the cutlery during an awkward silence, the way a character watches the condensation trickle down their glass in order to avoid eye contact, the way another character is distracted by the background noise.

-When you do describe a room, do it with intent. There are times when you can actually describe the room. But people don’t need to know the wall color or that the curtains are made from your MC’s grandmother’s favorite dress unless that’s important to the story. The details you give need to hold weight. For example: in my most recent novel, I spent 2-3 sentences describing the meticulous neatness of my character’s bedroom, but only so that his father could come in a page later and find something to criticize about it. At another point I described a room in a different character's house. This time I used a lot of detail, turning the description into a deluge of information—because I was describing a room in a hoarder’s house. I wanted the reader to feel just as overwhelmed by the room as my character did. 

-The setting description should always do double duty. You’ll notice that all of the examples I gave came down to one simple point: if you’re describing something, there needs to be a reason. It needs to tie into characterization, or theme, or plot, or tone. It needs to add value to the overall story. Otherwise, endless setting descriptions are just…a little bit boring.

[mdhwrites]

I’ve been watching Amphibia while studying. I should definitely do a rewatch during the summer, but it’s occurred to me that Amphibia’s strengths are criminally underrated.

Amphibia feels like a more focused show than TOH. It has its flaws ofc especially in Season 3, but Amphibia’s cast comes across as a lot more developed than TOH’s cast. I mean, Andrias got a dedicated flashback episode and Belos didn’t???

Amphibia’s execution of the found family trope is one of the best things I’ve seen in animation. In contrast, I always felt that King, Lilith, Eda, and the Hexside crew are plot devices to get Luz where she needs to go. Eda has some depth but generally speaking TOH never “got into their heads,” unlike with the Plantars, Sasha, Marcy, Grime, and Andrias.

And I gotta praise Amphibia’s ending!!! I wish more kids cartoons embraced the idea of permanent, bittersweet change. The idea of letting things go but not forgetting them.

So while I agree Amphibia is more focused, I actually don't think that's what the bigger difference is between TOH and Amphibia that I think needs to be highlighted. No, instead, I'm interrogate something you said: Does Belos not get a dedicated backstory episode? For that matter... Does he potentially get MORE time spent on backstory than Andrias?

Andrias literally only gets The Core and the King. He actually gets VERY little screentime, mostly because the effects of his cruelty are more important than what he does himself. So for backstory, he gets 11 minutes. MAYBE you could stretch to like 12 or 13 if you want to include hints to Lief but that's all post her time with him. So 11 minutes because Andrias only gets one segment, not two.

What does Belos get?

Well... I think everyone just forgets about Elsewhere Elsewhen. That IS backstory. That is previous characterization. It's not a flashback but it is still interacting with a Belos earlier in the timeline, like a backstory exposition dump or a flashback does. And interacting with Philip is the main purpose of the A plot of the episode, even if it takes a bit to get to him and then he dips out before the end.

As the author of the journal though, he also counts for backstory whenever passages of the journal are told to us. It's unreliable but it is still previous characterization. So stuff like Eclipse Lake and the end of Looking Glass Ruins adds a little here and there.

Then of course... What the fuck do you call Hollow Mind if not a dedicated backstory episode to Belos? The majority of the run time is literally go through his brain, and his memories, to show his rise to power. His backstory. And while there is technically a B plot, it doesn't take up much time so probably at least a third of the episode is spent on this and these are 22 minute episodes. If just two thirds get spent on backstory, that's more than Andrias gets.

So why doesn't it feel like that? Why does it feel like we get a VERY complete version of Andrias' backstory, despite seeing cumulatively three days in a row of his life, while it feels like we were never told Belos'?

Efficiency. Amphibia is a VERY efficient work. It crams a LOT into its run times. It's part of why the episodes are so satisfying because they actually manage to tell complete stories with morals, sometimes their own A and B plots in an 11 minute segment and actually move the characters forward a full step within the span of that time. It does this while also being hilarious and action packed, much more than TOH or, honestly, a lot of cartoons. Not every episode segment counts for this but ESPECIALLY the important ones do and The Core and the King should be taught in classes for how to get across a character's motivations and backstory in a nuanced, breezy way while also being DENSE. AS. FUCK.

In eleven minutes, we get a clear idea of the utopia that Andrias used to live in, the cost of that utopia, the pressures upon him as a prince, how deep his relationships are with two other characters, Lief gets some genuinely good characterization that helps explain her choice, a logical progression of events that matches with the sillier side of Andrias we know of, an escalation and then a climax. We can VERY clearly see what Andrias lost, what he is trying to get back, and why he would want it back on multiple levels, both societal, familial and even personal, that will motivate into being a MONSTER for a thousand years. All while still being a lot of fun and having some really great jokes. It introduces so many elements but it never feels bogged down by any of this. Instead, it chose the PERFECT moment to get across everything it needed to and left very few questions that you as an audience couldn't figure out yourselves. This also all while being explicit about much of the motivation and what not instead of relying on background details.

Which TOH can't claim for Belos. In Elsewhere Elsewhen, we see that Philip hates witches, that his journal is unreliable and that he has ALWAYS been an asshole and a manipulator. That's befitting who he will be but doesn't actually tell us jack shit. It also includes I guess how he met the Collector but that's moving plot, not expanding on your villain. Because the journal is unreliable, it tells us very little to nothing about him except for some reason he donated his journal to the people he fucking despised. Then Hollow Mind shows how he came to power... But not who he is. Not his motivation, what he actually wants to accomplish besides murder, etc. like that. The paintings in the background tell you far more just by being far more suggestive of what he's been through.

TOH is fucking awful when it comes to density. Most episodes, not even just Belos, have the problem of only taking half steps. Each of Belos' parts are those half steps. Revealing only one or two elements when it easily could have shown more to be more satisfying. As an example: Amphibia has a GREAT episode between Ivy and her mom about rebellion, the consequences of fighting what your parent wants for you, why they might do the things they do, etc. like that. In 11 minutes, we get a genuinely complex relationship between Ivy and her mom who haven't had much talk about each other or their relationship up until now. Meanwhile, TOH decides to focus on Luz being expelled for the episode about Amity and Odalia, meaning Amity is in like... Three, maybe five minutes of that episode? A full minute of that being the intro to the episode where she's just showing off the abomaton?

Because it isn't actually focused on Amity, the relationship between Amity and Odalia isn't actually explored. Because they can't explore that, they also need to now make Odalia cartoonishly villainous so as to fit the fact that Luz also spends very little time with her due to making the conflict be about Hexside so we have to waste some time with a stock standard montage of Luz, Willow and Gus trying to get back in. And by the end, what is the resolution between Amity and Odalia? "Get in my way again and I will kick your fucking ass."

Much deep. Very brave.

There's TONS of stuff like this where Amphibia is genuinely the work trying to do more interesting, more meaningful and deeper things than TOH and managing to do it in literally half the time. If not even less. That breakneck pace is part of what makes Amphibia feel like a kids show but it's also what makes it just more enjoyable to watch.

Which actually makes TOH fit in better with our current era of streaming television. TOH is constantly baiting you for the payoffs it promises. It keeps swearing that its elements are deeper than they appear so make sure to tune in next week because this SURELY can't be all there is to, right?

Unfortunately, that is all there is to it. And once you realize that and look at the show with that sort of lens, it starts falling apart. It's part of why TOH should be thankful it was shortened. It lets people more easily claim that it just needed another season. Another fourteen episodes. That TOTALLY would have solved all the problems with episodes that happened even before the shortening.

That is extremely rarely how this works everyone. Sorry.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[papermonkeyism]

Poking at the dinosaur project thingy, this time with some production technicalities point of view.

Here be musings.

I originally thought of the project as a calendar, then a series of calendars that could be collected into an art book once enough art had been made for it, and at some point I thought of just skipping the calendar part and going straight for art books.

I've been going back and forth between those options multiple times over the years, and it's still kinda open. Like on one hand a simple calendar with just thirteen illustrations (twelve months plus cover) is the easiest and cheapest option, though pretty limited (what to do once the year presented in the calendar ends, and you still got unsold leftover stock?), and the other hand art books are big projects requiring lots of work, even more money, but be a lasting and very satisfying thing to have.

Maybe I should take a middle road and make a zine instead?

Maybe.

Though, this is where the shape of the actual project comes in.

I've always planned the project as having a slice of life style format, with little story and more focus in exploring the setting. Kinda just looking in and enjoying the view while you go. But I've noticed that keeping the "narration" as illustrations kinda keeps the immersion at arm's length too. While that is fine and dandy for a calendar where the space for any narrative would be very limited anyway, if I was going to do more with the setting, I kinda need something deeper. Even if the audience is fine just looking at pretty pictures, with ADHD it would be better to have something deeper to help keep me personally invested enough to actually plan, plot and produce the materials needed.

Should I make an actual story, with plot and stuff? Feels kinda unnecessary for a thing focusing on just illustrations, and I don't know if I really "click" with a text heavy picture book format. I kinda feel it would make comic as the best option, though that has its own downsides. I've always wanted to do full colour paintings of the dinosaurs, yet going comic it would have to simplify a lot and make it grayscale just to keep me sane. And, as someone who has done well over 250 pages of a long form comic, that's still a HUGE commitment I don't think I have the resources - mental, physical nor financial - to pull off.

I also kinda feel having a plot story would sort of detract from the "exploring the world" aspect and put more heavy focus on characters, which. Well, it's not *bad* exactly, just not quite what I want.

(Also I am aware the dinosaur clan I have has a kid character, and I don't want to make her the point of view character for the story. I have no interest doing a childrens' book. I mean, I am perfectly fine if kids do eventually end up liking my stuff, but I don't consider them my target audience. My target audience is me, an adult person in their later 30s, and a handful of nerds I consider friends and/or mutuals.)

Another option I've been toying with is kind of a double edged sword.

Those who got the Almost Real speculative evolution zine volume 5 got a bit of a taste of this, as I kinda tried it out there.

So... I've gone to pretty great lengths as a layperson to work in the setting of the project thingy. It's always bothered me when dinosaurs get just dumped into a story with no regards to when and where they actually lived, making for an anachronistic hodgepodge of what's popular forming into a mismatched fantasy setting, usually with throwing humans into the mix. I don't like that. I'm more interested in seeing the actual animals as they were, when they were and where they were, where the focus is in the dinosaurs themselves. Thus the limit to Two Medicine formation (with some of the surrounding areas included too, though still keeping to the same time period).

I do not want humans in my dinosaur stories. Period.

But what if...

So, imagine a research journal. There's a scientist visiting the clan of Singing People the project focuses on, with the mission of studying them, their life and their world. The book or zine or whatever could be a story of the dinosaur clan introducing themselves and their life to this person. An outsider point of view to excuse learning about them by them teaching this POV person how their world works. There could be some interaction and maybe interviews, and of course illustrations because you need to document your subjects after all.

Like, I'm kinda excited about the idea. It would let me get into the details I want to picture without getting too into the heads of the characters to limit the chances of artistic exploration. You gotta document the surroundings your study subjects live in after all! But you'd still get to know the characters because it's the job of the POV person to learn about them. Win win!

It's just that I don't want to put too much attention on this hypothetical scientist. Like I said before I don't want to mix my settings. The dinosaur project thingy's world IS Laramidia in the Campanian period of late Cretaceous, it's not meant to be a scifi setting, nor do I want to have any focus on any time travel.

Wonder if it would be possible to leave the scientist character vague enough to never actually get explained? They're just nameless outsider from undetermined time and place who's interviewing some dinosaurs. Maybe with some peronal opinions or musings but no anecdotes about their own life or themself. And whenever there's interactions between the scientist and any of the Singing People it just gets handwaved away. (Of course the Singing People are curious about them too, but that's not the point of the study so it just doesn't get documented or something?)

I don't know. Could that work?

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites in Mighty Solars Issue #4: “Fighting for Family” Ch. 4

A Week Later…

Miss Frankie is waiting for someone like Jesse did in the Wooden City episode while looking down depressingly

Monique: Hey Frankie! Saw the court vid! You doing good?

Miss Frankie: Don’t care.

Ms. Paris: Congratulations on getting your ass kick.

Miss Frankie: Go fuck yourself.

Then, Miss Frankie sees Principal Cooke and Ms. Perez with Kevin, Jamie, Darcy and their friend Trevor as she waves at they head over there.

Miss Frankie: Wait. Darcy?

Darcy: Hey Frankie. It’s been awhile since graduation from college.

Miss Frankie: Sorry I was late. I had a court day.

Jamie: Court day? What happened?

Principal Cooke: No need for us to tell her. We saw Frankie on the video getting arrested after calling a judge a bitch, a big fucked up bitch and nothing but a bitch!

Kevin tries not to laugh.

Miss Frankie: She couldn’t handle that she literally sucks fat shit! Now I gotta wear this! shows them a device on her foot Plus, I’m in a boat load of car rent because of my stupid fucked up car!

Ms. Perez: We’re so sorry…

Trevor: Man that is fucked up. Sorry to hear about that. Also, I’m glad you guys came to my girlfriend Louise’s cafe. You already known her since middle school, like we did. Right?

Miss Frankie: Yeah, we did.

Ms. Perez: Yeah. Poor thing has been raising her daughter for 4 years since her wife Maude passed away in the car accident. I’m glad she’s doing better.

Then, the adults sees Phoebe walking with human Yumyulack and Human Jesse. Human Yumyulack however is depressed about something.

Principal Cooke: Yumyulack?

Human Jesse Solar-Opposites: What’s wrong Yummybear? You look down in the dumps today.

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Oh, I changed my name into Baxter Cool to make myself stand out at school, but it turns there is a kid named Baxter Badass. So, now those guys call me Baxter C. and then Mark recognize me.

Human Jesse Solar-Opposites: How?

Human Yumyulack shrugs.

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: I don’t know. I guess the voice is a dead give away and… suddenly sees Stacy G, now a teen waitress Holy shit, is that Stacy G of the Stacies?

Human Jesse is confused but looks and blushes.

Human Jesse Solar-Opposites: Holy shit! What happened to her? Her hair is now tanish brown instead of red and is all puffy and what happened to her looks? She looks like Keri Russel from the Waitress movie.

Human Yumyulack: I don’t know but we should talk to her.

Phoebe MacCarthy: Must’ve realize that her friends are a toxic influence. Glad you kids don’t hang out with those mean kids.

Then, while writing down an order, Stacy G sees Human Jesse and gasp as she drops her journal. Stacy G then looks lovingly at Human Jesse as a romantic pinky background appears. Human Jesse goes up to Stacy G.

Human Jesse Solar-Opposites: Hey Stacy G. It’s been awhile since you’ve been in the woods searching for Slender Man.

Stacy G: Yeah, I kinda lied about that. I just need to get away from my ex-friends.

Human Jesse Solar-Opposites: What?! You hate being a Stacy?

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: But why?

Stacy G sighs.

Stacy G: When I moved here two years after my other mom Maude died, I tried making friends and when I heard two girls Stacy K and Stacy F are a duo, I decided to join them. But I was wrong. They were jerks. They were even mean to unpopular girls. The last straw came on Valentines’ Day. The Headphone Guys and Stacy K and Stacy F teamed up and played a mean prank on me saying Annie wanted me to be my Valentine but it turned out to be a mean prank… that got cockroaches to fly out. After I got heartbroken, I found out the Stacies replaced me with Stacy H and I decided to not be friends with them anymore.

Human Yumyulack starts crying.

Stacy G: Are you crying?

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: A little. sniffs

Phoebe MacCarthy: Hey there. I’m Phoebe MacCarthy. I’m the kids’ nanny.

Stacy G: Oh hey. So, I’m going back to school in two weeks. But, I will no longer be with the Stacies. And luckily I can still work on Tuesday, Thursdays and Sundays.

Human Jesse Solar-Opposites: Oh my god. I am so sorry. No wonder you didn’t came to school the other day during the fungus thing. You were trying to make friends, but it ended badly. It broke you heart, didn’t it Stacy?

Stacy G nods and sheds a tear.

Human Jesse Solar-Opposites: Well, I would like to be your friend.

Stacy G: You do?

Human Jesse giggles.

Human Jesse Solar-Opposites: Of course. You deserve a real one, plus I think Monica would like you too. sees Janice and Randall walking towards the grown ups Holy geez, is that Randall?

Randall remorsefully comes up the grown ups while Louise sees her old friends and her boyfriend.

Randall: Hey. Guys. It’s great to meet you guys after all these years.

Jamie: No way! Randall?!

Randall: Uh hey uh guys. I wanna say it’s nice to meet you all, and I’m sorry for turning into a psychopath that hates children, got greedy for money and for nearly killing one of neighbors Korvo-

Kevin: It’s okay man. No big.

Jamie: Yeah. We heard about the new stand. Nice business.

Principal Cooke: Wait. You almost killed Korvo?!

Randall: I’m sorry! The last few years have been hell for me ever since I had a horrible Halloween as a kid! I really do have problems! cries hysterically while Janice comforts him Also, I didn’t mean to try to kill my neighbor.

Janice: H’no, it’s okay, y’know.

Trevor: Yeesh. sees Louise heading outside Oh hey baby.

Louise: Hi, Trevor.

The couple kiss while they then see Phoebe with the human Replicants.

Louise: walks over to Stacy G while Monica arrives Hey sweetie. Glad to see you patching things up with your classmates.

Stacy G: Thanks, mom.

Miss Frankie: So why do you wanna meet here?

Jamie: Oh. Something about the Solars turning human, also Quasarblast decided to take a break after that stressful ceremony. Glad he deserved it. I saw his text. But it looks it’s up to us guys.

Darcy: We also saw Terry as a human at our dinner party

Suddenly, Human Terry appear.

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: Huh? hides behind the wall but then receives a text from Pupa Aw man, another dog refuses to fuck? How dare they? Coming Pupa!

Stacy G: Wait, what? No way, Jesse and Yumyulack Solar? Is that you what happened?!

Human Yumyulack and Human Jesse awkwardly look at each other.

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Long story. But, I think we should go looking for Korvo. He’s been gone for a week.

Human Jesse Solar-Opposites: Yeah. I think he still feels pretty bad about a something lately.

This gave the adults an idea.

Principal Cooke: That’s it! Korvo! He can help us! He can invent something to stop La Smaragdus!

Darcy: But isn’t Korvo still mad at us for the past things we did to him?

Randall: Aw cheer up guys. I’m sure he’s changed back by now. I bet he’s home right now.

But when the grown ups along Human Yumyulack, Human Jesse, Stacy G, Monica and Phoebe arrived home, they see dogs all over the place.

Principal Cooke: What the hell? Why are there dogs everywhere?!

Human Jesse: Sweet grapes!

The group head inside and gasp upon seeing the dogs while Human Terry is in a pimp outfit and counting down money next to human Pupa with a security guard. A dog took the device off of Miss Frankie, who scream a bit.

Phoebe MacCarthy: For God’s sake, Terry.

Security Guard: Hey! Humans are not allowed in here! I keep telling you, this is a brothel for dogs!

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: Hey, man. It’s cool. I know them.

Then, a space mound spider came and starts sucking on the man who began to feel relax.

Jamie: It’s okay Terry. We know it’s you. And we won’t tell anyone over something your husband doesn’t want to tell us.

Human Terry smiles.

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: Actually I have been wondering where Korvo is. Can you guys go find him, while the kids and I check the neighborhood?

The grown ups thought about it.

Three hours later…

Cooke, Frankie, Perez, Jamie, Darcy, Kevin and his family, Randall, Louise, Trevor and Janice arrived at Night Club with sexy people. Music in background:

Kevin’s Wife: Woah. What the fuck is this place?

Waitress: The Earth-4 Night Club. A place for the grooviest fucking sexy people alive.

Jamie: I believe you are describing me. Darcy slaps him on the back Sorry honey.

Darcy smiles then the grown ups and two kids walk by the place while looking around.

Principal Cooke: What the fuck is Yumyulack and Jesse’s dad doing at a fucked place like this?

Kevin: Maybe he turned human and he is like a sex dancer or something.

Human Korvo: offscreen Well well well.

All: Huh?

Ms. Perez: What?!

Human Korvo Solar-Opposites: My human neighbors and mortal enemies. What a surprise.

Principal Cooke and Miss Frankie: Korvo?!

Jamie faints while Kevin’s wife drops a glass of wine in shock. To everyone’s shock, Human Korvo looks different. He is now wearing a ponytail with a hair tie with an emerald on it that looks like his robe crystal, he is wearing icy blue lipstick makeup on his lips, his ruined robe is now fixed and turn into a suit jacket, his Shlorp boots have been turned into lady high heels and he is now wearing a black shirt with a purple word that says “Bitchin’” on it. Music in this background:

Janice: H’no, you turn into the most gorgeous human we have ever seen y’know.

Human Korvo Solar-Opposites: Aw, thank you.

Jamie: Damn, what happened to you? You look different, especially with your new clothes.

Human Korvo Solar-Opposites: Not bad right. It’s been a good couple of days. So I probably bet you’re here to say I told you so about being a human.

Darcy: Damn. You’re hot.

Ms. Perez: What?! No! We actually need your help Korv-

Human Korvo Solar-Opposites: It’s Korey.

Miss Frankie: What? Why the human name change? And…. Oh… it’s you and your new family’s civilian identities huh?

Human Korvo Solar-Opposites: Yes and… suddenly realized what they said You guys… need my help?

Miss Frankie: Yes! Terry needs you!

Principal Cooke: Yes! Quasarblast is not here! He’s on break! We gotta create something to stop La Smaragdus- hears a gasp

It turns out Human Terry, Human Yumyulack, Human Jesse, Human Pupa, Phoebe, Monica and Stacy G have arrived as they ran up to Human Korvo while Human Terry kneels down in recoiled shock.

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: K-Korvy!

Human Korvo Solar-Opposites: laughs nervously Hey, Terry.

Principal Cooke: Uh Terry, we can explain.

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: You never looked more beautiful!

Human Korvo blushes. The two husbands then kiss while Human Korvo picks up Human Terry and carries him while kissing.

Stacy G: Wait, that’s Korvo? How?

Human Jesse Solar-Opposites: Uh…

Human Pupa Solar-Opposites: Korvo! hugs Human Korvo I miss you.

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: No way! You look hot! Where have you been K-Dog?

Human Korvo Solar-Opposites: Well…

Later, while Human Korvo was buying a new bus turned into a space ship…

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: Wow. That explains a lot but it’s okay honey. You’re beautiful both Shlorpian and human to me. I still can’t believe you got caught up on the biz like I did.

Human Korvo however is still remorseful for making his family worried sick about him.

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: Are you really upset about the whole thing?

Human Korvo Solar-Opposites: No. Not the fact that we can shapeshift into humans now and can’t walk the Earth as aliens anymore. But, it’s because I didn’t tell you where I was and made you all worried about me.

Human Terry sighs.

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: Aw, it’s okay Korvy. We know why you did that.

Human Korvo smiles.

Human Jesse Solar-Opposites: Yeah. We’re really glad you got into some human culture.

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: We’re just glad you’re alright.

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: Plus, is it true that you miss us?

Human Korvo starts sobbing.

Human Korvo Solar-Opposites: sobbing It’s true. I’m so sorry Terry, I got caught up with my new look and-

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: Aw Korvy. hugs human Korvo while comforting him and soothing him Shh… it’s okay… I’m here.

Human Korvo keeps sobbing as mascara runs down his face and blows his nose into Human Terry’s shirt.

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: There. Let it out honey. soothes Human Korvo’s face in a comforting manner

Human Korvo Solar-Opposites: smiles Oh Terry, I love you. Also, I’m so grateful you all came for me. Thank you.

The two human husbands kiss. As they keep kissing, the kids, Phoebe, Monica, Stacy G and the other human adults hug the two husbands. Then, Human Korvo sees Stacy G and grows confused.

Human Korvo Solar-Opposites: Who’s that?

Louise: Oh, that’s my teenage daughter. Stacy G.

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: Hi!

Stacy G: Hey. So, what’s the plan Mr. Opposites?

Human Korvo then got an idea as he makes a genius smirk.

Human Korvo Solar-Opposites: I think I just came up with one. the group then huddle together Now, here is our plan.

Special thanks to @avaveevo, @asikreading, @themagicwolf6677, @king-of-squishmallows and all of my watchers for their ideas and support.

[wellness-university]

Journaling for Students

Have you ever wanted to expel the hundreds of thoughts running through your mind? Or how about a place to note down your upcoming assignments so you can stop turning them in late?

Instead of speaking out loud to someone, journaling can be a different way to brain dump. 

Journaling is helpful for diminishing feelings of stress and anxiety because it’s a focused activity. When you are focused on a task, your brain tends to center in on that task and forget everything else. Especially when writing.

But journaling isn’t only used for brain dumping. It can also be used to track your habits and schedule activities. So, let’s dive into journaling and how we can use it as a tool for our organization and mental health. 

How to Journal Mental Health

As I mentioned before, writing is a task that requires focus. If you find yourself stressed, doing something like a puzzle or playing a video game could help you calm down.

The main difference between those activities and journaling is that when you journal, you can address the feelings that are bothering you. There are two main methods of journaling:

1. Intentionally writing about a specific topic or prompt 

2. Writing whatever comes to mind

These are the most popular ways to journal for mental health. I’d recommend practicing each of them and seeing which one fits your situation best. And you don’t have to stick to just one way of journaling. In fact, it might help you focus more when you try a new format every few weeks. Some formats are more beneficial depending on your situation.

Let me make it clear - there is no set way to journal. That’s something you have to figure out yourself. You can purchase a plain journal with lined pages to write or even a journal with blank pages to draw. But here are a few prompts you can follow if you want to journal for your mental health:

- What is making you anxious? Is it logical to feel this way?

- Write to a version of your past self. What would you tell them now?

- Think of something that worried you in the past. How was it resolved? Are you still worried about it now? And if so, has it gotten any better?

- Write about everything that you’re grateful for. When writing, don’t rush. Stay on a topic as long as you want and try to actually “feel” the gratitude. 

How to Journal for Organization

Many students use a planner or an agenda to write in their assignments and homework. Agendas are a useful tool because they’re usually in a calendar format, which can be helpful for visual learners. But there’s a difference between writing due dates in an agenda and actually planning on how to accomplish those tasks.

If you’ve ever frantically scrambled through your agenda to find that you don’t have the assignment that was supposed to be turned in, then I recommend using a journal to time block your day. If you’ve never heard of time blocking, it really isn’t anything complicated.

But it changed my life.

Seeing my day mapped out in the morning soothed my running thoughts. In a way, I became my own personal assistant because I knew exactly what events or tasks were planned for the day.

Time blocking is a system that dictates your tasks at each hour of the day. Before you time block, you should have a to-do list so you know what you have to accomplish that day. Here’s how to do it: 

1. On the left side of your page, write in each individual hour starting from when you wake up to when you go to sleep

2. Fill in the tasks you’re doing that day at their specified times. Start with classes or other activities that happen at times you can’t control

3. Use your to-do list to fill in the rest of the day

When filling out the rest of your day, try using your knowledge of your own habits. Are you more productive in the evening, afternoon, or morning? If you have the option, write in your toughest tasks during those productive times. This will make you life a lot easier and help you enjoy checking off your to-do list. 

How to Track your Habits with Journaling

If you’re interested in tracking your habits, you should invest in a bullet journal. Bullet journal pages are formatted with a grid instead of being lined. This allows you to draw different templates and be as creative as you want with them. 

This is why they’re so wonderful for tracking personal patterns.

Students who tend to use different colored highlighters, pens, and stickers will find success with bullet journaling. This is because most habit trackers tend to have boxes to fill in with a color once you’ve completed the task. For example, let’s say you’re tracking each day you go to the gym. In your bullet journal, use the grid paper to draw the shape of the month’s calendar with boxes. After going to the gym, fill in the box with a highlighter of your choice.

There are plenty of YouTube videos on different templates you can do and how to set up your journal for each month. Here are a few ideas of what you can track in your bullet journal:

- How much sleep you’re getting every night

- Daily goals 

- Long-term goals 

- Studying for exams

Journaling as a Student

Journaling is a habit that I've built over five years. There were some semesters where I’d set up a month of trackers in my bullet journal, and I’d come back three months later to unused, dusty pages. Even if you’re not consistent with journaling, that isn’t a reason not to do it. 

Like I mentioned before, the act of journaling is a focused activity. Make sure that you allot a specific amount of time for your journaling sessions. This will make it feel like a personal routine. 

So, go grab your highlighters and favorite pen. It’s time to soothe your mind and stay ahead of your classes!

[xi218]

୨୧ goals ୨୧

Physical: working on being sober, ab workout routine, getting into bed earlier, not snacking so much, wearing the clothes you're saving for a "special occasion", trying out new looks and clothes, venturing out new styles, upgrading your basic hygiene routine, drink more water

Mental: journaling daily (or near daily..), decorating pages, keeping track of emotions both negative and positive and what triggers them. Get rid of the negative triggers and bring in more of the positive triggers.

Emotional: getting in touch with a therapist, dedicating a journal to release you emotions instead of bottling them in, interpret dreams, talking to friends when things upset me

Professional: working 1 hour more than usual, dont wake up and finish work before class

Personal: find your old hobbies (crochet), discover new ones (shirt making 👀), trying new food even if im nervous, complimenting people out loud, making an effort to hang out with friends when opportunities present themselves, limit youtube time

Finance: learn how to budget, no impulse spending, watch videos about making money with art and follow through

Important habits to have: waking up and going to bed early, using planner, having a morning and night routine but the freedom to change it/ leniency with myself if i dont stick to it

Important skills to build: how to communicate my own needs, learn what the line is between sharing and dumping (rather than choosing to bottle everything ive ever felt lol)

schedule ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ੈ♡‧₊˚

So you've picked your goals. Great. Now take a look at your schedule and figure out what things are taking up most of your time. Is it a long commute? Spending too much time scrolling on your phone? Waking up late? Going to bed late?

୨୧ time blocking / schedule:

☆ Mornings:

5-6am: exercise

6-7am: shower, get ready for class / library

7:30-8am: library for breakfast, get ready for the day

~class~

☆ Evenings:

get back from class, shower immediately, change into pajamas

eat dinner

finish homework

plan the next day, journal, go to bed

Assess how you spend your time and utilize it. Instead of scrolling on your phone during your free time, spend time with your loved ones (pets, kids, partner), instead of staying in one place while you're on a call, walk around to get steps in, there is always a way to implement your goals into your daily life.

Notice how I say fit your goals around your life. You don't want to be taking away important things like errands, jobs, school, being a parent just meet your goals- no. Use your time wisely. That's all. You can fit them.

On the larger goals like taking up a class/large skill, like dancing and painting. On fridays, you'll have dance class and on other days that you have free, you'll be painting a piece or reading your anticipated book, learning a language, trying out a new recipe, planning the next day, taking a spontaneous art class, etc!

Weekends.

Because I work a lot, I like to use weekends to really do deep work. Intensive study sessions. And because I deep work (work with no distractions) I don't need to study all day. I'm getting so much done in little time that I'll be done by the afternoon and I can go out and do errands, get all dressed up and have a nice day out in the city, or just have a relaxing day by doing chores, watching a nice movie and more!

3. Setting up a system so you can actually stick to those goals.

Keep a journal to keep track of what you did today. If you didn't reach a goal that day (and that's okay), ask yourself why? and how does it make you feel? Then take action on what you can do to reach it tomorrow.

i think post its in planner should be effective

Switching. We all know it’s best to not push yourself so hard. For example, don’t do intense exercise everyday. Walking and dancing throughout the day counts as exercise too, so by switching (depending on YOUR goals), you’ll have time for your other goals as well. Here is an example: on a rest day of no exercising, maybe that day is the night I have a ballet class. That is exercise as well. So instead of exercising in the very early hours of my day, I can use that time instead to do more studying OR have more time doing something else.

which means I can do one do the following: spend more time with my pet, read a few pages of my book, make a new recipe, etc.

Ex. 4am-5am - on a no-exercise day, i can study during that time instead. 6am-7am - more time to tackle my other goals.

Create a foundation. If you have an amazing day, felt very productive and accomplished, what's a habit that really helped? if you had an off day, figure out why and maybe your foundation can help.

★ That’s all!

[urfavmercurial444]

💌💗detoxifying + simplifying your life!

if you're anything like me, you're probably overwhelmed with everything that's going on in your life. especially with upcoming exam season. so here's a few ways I've made my life simpler!

₊˚ʚ 🍓₊˚✧ ﾟ. ༘💌 ೀ⋆｡˚

💌 mental

journaling! this is such an important part of my life and I highly recommend it to everyone! if you get easily overwhelmed or struggle to set things down mentally, then it's a great way to take a load off your shoulders. I'll be posting an ultimate list of journal prompts very soon, so check my blog for prompts!

brain dumps! these are perfect for getting a clear, focused mind. i'd recommend doing one before something important that you have to focus on or right before bed!

write down your routines! this may sound a little redundant, but writing down your routines allows for you to clear your mind of the smaller things and also holds you accountable bc how are you going to ignore something right in front of your face? i recommend hanging the sheets on a mirror, vanity, or even the door to your room/bathroom! to ensure you'll see it every morning.

💗 emotional

share your emotions! humans are so prone to bottling up their emotions and it can present as a heaviness in our physical bodies that we don't notice is there until we finally put it down. sharing how we feel with others is a great way to set the heaviness down.

laugh often! sometimes we take life so seriously for no reason, and the best way to avoid that is to remind ourselves to laugh often! watch a funny movie, call a friend, or just laugh at your own jokes!

🍓 physical

take a daily walk! your body needs at least 60 minutes of movement daily, so try to get as much as you can in one day. this walk also provides some self-reflection time!

drink water 1st thing in the morning! cleanse your system with water in the morning and hydrate yourself!

stretch in the morning and at night! move your body!! a properly stretched body could help with so many small aches and pains.

📚 misc.

purse dump bins! this is something i learned from tiktok! if you switch purses often, you should have a 'catch-all' bin that you dump the contents of a purse in once you're done using it. then take the contents of the bin and put it into the next purse you use. this ensures that you don't forget anything when you switch your possessions into a new purse!

night/morning bins! i also saw this on tiktok! someone was talking about how they struggle with keeping to routines and they sometimes have to do their morning routine in their car when they're running late to work. so they have a bin that holds all of the things they use in the morning and a bin that holds all of the things they use at night. they'll carry the bins with them when traveling/running late, but you could also use it at home. they buy doubles of all products instead of switching an item between the bins. i think this could be pretty helpful, tho it might get pricey.

[welcometowritersblock]

True Cost

They couldn’t see the bottom of the pit.

“...you say to gain something we need to give something up?” Arlo repeated, looking at the faceless creature that somehow grinned without features.

“Yes! You must give up something in exchange for what you desire!”

Arlo and Violet both heaved a sigh, starting to go through their bags. They had to have something worth trading in. They didn’t have a choice. That wicked man had destroyed the sword, the only thing that could kill him. And he had to die. This was the only way to get back anything lost, anything destroyed. You could get whatever you wanted as long as you were willing to trade.

It was pointless, but at first they both dropped in their entire coin purses. But it was as if there was an invisible wall, as they floated and did not plummet. With a sigh, Arlo called them both back with magic.

Next was some of their own magic items. The pendant, the rings, Violet’s shield. Magic items worth thousands of gold, and not a single one slipped through.

This continued on as they went through their bags, dumping basically everything out, all of it rejected by the abyss beneath. However, when Arlo threw his sister’s necklace with shaky hands, it seemed to dip through but not quite passing the barrier. He blinked and Violet took the same information into account, tossing her journal towards the pit. It began to dip through, but was rejected still.

“So sentimental items are worth more?” Arlo thought out loud. He just heard the guardian of this place chuckle.

“What you’re searching for is nearly impossible to get. It’s one of a kind and it’s gone. You must truly make a sacrifice to get it. Something entirely irreplaceable.”

Both of them nodded. Their hands shook as they grabbed any sentimental items they had. Violet threw in her locket with the picture of her mother in it. Arlo tossed in the only image he had of his brother. Violet tossed in her holy book. Arlo tossed in his brother’s dagger.

They all began to dip through, but none of them stuck.

“Damnit! That’s basically all we have! That stuff is irreplaceable, though. What else are we supposed to give? Even all of those items together aren’t enough?”

Arlo demanded as he turned towards the guardian, who still had a smile on his face.

“Something utterly irreplaceable. I can’t tell you what that is, you must figure it out yourself.”

Arlo grit his teeth, ready to fight with this thing despite knowing it would be a losing battle at best.

He was distracted, however, by all of the items they had thrown beginning to pile up in front of him. Violet seemed to have used her own magic to gather them all. None of them had worked, but Arlo knew they had to figure out something. The amount of people this villain would kill if they didn’t stop him made Arlo turn pale at just the thought. He was about to ask what Violet thought they should try next, but she spoke up first.

“Arlo, please don’t turn around.”

Arlo was never one to listen to orders, not even from Violet. If he thought the idea of the sheer amount of people who would die if he failed his quest turned him pale, he was sheer white at the sight before him.

Violet already had a foot over the edge, with a nervous smile. Arlo’s eyes went wide as her other foot stepped back as well. The barrier seemed to have disappeared as she began to fall.

Arlo was there in an instant, grabbing onto Violet by the wrist before she could fall out of reach.

“Violet! What the fuck are you doing?!”

“It needs to be something irreplaceable. What’s more irreplaceable than a life?”

“What - no! You can’t- you can’t do that!”

“I have to. You know that. You need the sword.”

“Why - why can’t I jump instead?”

Violet let out a light laugh.

“Arlo. You’re the wielder. This is your quest and your prophecy and your fate. I’m just along for the ride. I’m here to help you.”

“Then help me by staying by my side! Please!”

“Arlo. You need the sword. This is the only way.”

“There - there has to be another way! You can’t do this!”

“I can and I am. This is my decision. I’m making this choice. The world needs you and it needs that sword.”

“Violet, you can’t! I NEED you.”

“I know. That’s why I’m making this choice on my own. So you don’t have to. Arlo... please let go.”

“No! No, I refuse! You can’t abandon me like this! Who cares about the prophecy! I just want you, Violet! You can’t leave me! Please! Just... I can still pull you up! We can figure something else out! Just work with me here.”

“Arlo...”

“PLEASE!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, tears streaming down his face. His shoulders began to ache as he continued to hold her up. “I’ll- I’ll jump in after you!”

“No, you won’t. We both know that.”

“Violet, no!”

“Arlo. You’re the hero of this story. It’s always been your story and your destiny. Let me take my place in this story, too.”

“No!” He screamed out again. Violet just smiled. She tried her best not to look scared, but when facing her own death, he could feel her trembling. His grip was slipping as she moved her wrist back and forth, trying to force him to let go. He wouldn’t do it, no, he held her until his grip gave way, sobbing the entire time.

But he couldn’t hold her forever. She finally slipped out of his grip, passing through the barrier completely. Arlo let out a wail as he tossed spells at the barrier, trying to break it or cast levitate through it, or something, anything to get Violet back. The barrier didn’t give, though, and eventually Arlo’s knees gave way as he screamed in agony.

The guardian walked over and tapped on Arlo’s shoulder. He turned around to look - sure enough, he held the sword out to Arlo. The exchange was finished.

He immediately grabbed the sword and chucked it into the abyss, crying out at the top of his lungs.

“GIVE BACK VIOLET!”

But the sword simply bounced off the barrier. The situation remained unchanged and Arlo could only collapse and cry. He didn’t know how long he sat there. The guardian said nothing the entire time.

Eventually, Arlo picked up the sword and wobbled to his feet.

“I will finish this quest. I’ll save everyone. But... not for myself. Not anymore,” he mumbled to himself as he wiped his eyes. He held the sword tightly. “There’s nothing left for me.”

With that, he gathered all of their items. He stared at her stuff as he packed it away. He popped open the locket, seeing the art of her mother smiling. She always smiled like her mother did, bright and happy and hopeful. He found himself slipping the locket on. It felt warm against his chest.

He walked out of the cavern. It’s the only thing he could do at this point to keep himself from crying again or giving up completely.

There was nothing left for him there or anywhere.

Arlo died that day. He got the sword so he could finish his quest, but his heart shattered and he didn’t even bother trying to pick up the pieces.

If he was in pain, at least he wouldn’t forget about Violet.

[travelingtwentysomething]

🌚Dream Journal 🌝

I just woke up from the weirdest dream ever.

I lived in the White house, with my Aunt, and then my ex-best friend and her abusive boyfriend and her little son moved in with me (mirroring real life before we split), and me and my friend worked it out, and we got rid of her shitty abusive boyfriend this go round (instead of her dumping him, running back to her mom's, and leaving me to sweep up the trash, with no warning and no idea he was even abusive until then, when he had apparently relapsed and gotten back on meth unbeknownst to me. But that's another story for a Trauma Dump, not part of the dream).

When I talked to her about boundaries and respecting my space she actually listened to me instead of treating me as if I was attacking her for asking her not to destroy my things and space this time. She even invited me to her new house to hang out and make banana pudding.

Then somehow my cousin who actually lives with me now- her best friend came over as if she was my ex-best friend's friend, and they were sitting on the couch, and this is where the fact that we live in the White House comes in.

Trump was asleep on the other couch, with a TV playing above him playing Fox News, and my ex best friend and the other girl were talking shit about Trump and saying he should be assassinated and all kinds of crazy stuff, and I was like y'all need to stop y'all know the secret service out here. And So eventually the secret service came in they were acting like they needed to get up and leave, and I said y'all know I live here right? I said, "y'all can't do anything about me or my friends being here, and Trump has passed out and he didn't hear anything we had to say." But still they took my friends into the secret room off the living room to interrogate them- Trump was still asleep during all of this, so they woke him up to get him out of there as if he was about to be assassinated.

They tried to take me too but I told them "I'm good, I didn't say anything, y'all heard me telling them they needed to chill out, I'm going to go in the kitchen and wait till y'all are done." And after a little while in the kitchen watching fucking Fox news praise Trump for being a great leader, after I just watched him passed out like a fucking lump, and run away because two young women were shit talking him, I got a little mad, so I went and knocked on the secret door and asked if they were done with my friends yet.

They were in there scaring the shit out of them, and then they decided we all needed to go for a ride. So they put us on a helicopter and took us out saying we were going to some sort of training exercise to witness the greatness of trump, turns out they lied to us and they took our helicopter down into the ocean to simulate an emergency. I got out with two of the secret service guys first, cus I wasn't stupid enough to listen to them when they told me I needed to wait.

Turns out Trump was on a boat in the area doing some sort of campaigning thing, and they were going to use him as the rescue team, and they made my friends stay in the helicopter as it started to go under and they were trapped for too long because their stupid fucking exercise didn't go to plan. Eventually they pulled them out and they almost drowned, they had to resuscitate them. and Trump didn't even pick us up on his boat he just waved at us and was like "Look at our great military in action saving lives out here" even though they had almost just killed us, and our ride was disappearing before I very eyes because Trump's an idiot.

Somehow Denzel Washington was on the boat and he could see that this was all faked, and I was yelling out to them that Trump did this on purpose because my friends talk shit about him and he almost killed us, and Denzel Washington heard that, and was like "Don't worry, I got you, I'm going to tell everybody."

So when we came back to the White House every time they were doing any sort of event, me and my friends were there and we sabotaged it every way we could.

There was some sort of weird event on the front porch of the White House where Trump was supposedly going to be honored, but it turns out everybody there had heard my story, and came to protest him, and Trump got dressed up in some weird cat costume like from the movie/musical cats, and they scared the shit out of him and the secret service got him out of there but not before he almost pissed his pants and was dressed up and humiliated.

And I stood on the front porch laughing as they brought him in past me to the front door. And then me and my friends took all these protesters inside as our personal guests because I still lived in the White House and showed them around. And while Trump was recovering and getting out of his shitty cat costume all these protesters came in and witnessed him crying in his underwear.

And then I woke up.

None of this probably makes sense because I literally just sat here talking into my phone and letting it type it out for me. And I'm sure I'm losing some details cuz I woke up, but that was the gist of it.

[costanzainc]

ive decided this is my diary because i don't think anyone knows my name here.

I'm still that kind of naive and also have never had that feeling of validation from the internet sooo i still have some part of me that likes to keep things a secret! Who knows why.

Anyways, today like many other days I had several tasks that I needed to get done. Instead of doing them or setting time for myself to do them, I moved to the couch and laid down and slept. I know that smoking makes me tired, and really takes me down but I can't stop doing it. I decided to cut cold turkey on the first day of summer! So until then, I'm holding onto the fatigue. Much like everything else, a part of me will miss how tired I am from smoking. It's a part of me and a part of this time! How could I not look back fondly.

Anyways, I did have to get food for my dog so I did get up eventually. I called my friend because I dream of being alone but can't be. I only realized today that I haven't been alone really. Well I've been alone but not the way I used to be. The kind of alone that feels like you aren't tied to anyone and you aren't tied to anything. My therapist (haven't seen her and still owe her money from almost 8 months ago) she told me that I feel that way because I never set boundaries. I guess now I know she's right. It sucks I couldn't speed up what she knew a part of me subconsciously knew already but the lessons have stayed with me! Thankfully!

Anyways, we went to a couple different places and I sure spent $$$$ but only $100 more than what I wanted. Normally I would have spent all my money. The fact I contained myself is pretty impressive. Only to me though. We'll see how I feel again on Friday.

I am excited about my purchases though, and I think a lot of me is growing and healing and looking back at old moments in a different way. Normally my nostalgia and hurt cloud the way I see some situations but now I know a lot of those old moments are past me. Does that make sense? I held onto them and think it would play out z way but now I know it wouldn't have. Idk! My shoulders felt lighter today too.

Because of today though, I am fixing that relationship to my face, makeup, and caring about my appearance. I am a good looking person, despite my teeth (which i will fix SOON), but I'm seeing that and I know now makeup enhances that. Even my friend said she wondered why i was extra glowing when I saw her in my makeup. I'm just proud of myself for all this trying I'm doing.

I rarely try to do things because I am so insecure it's hard to feel like everyone isn't making fun of me behind my back. I try to be honest with people in a kind way of you're asking for honesty and I am being honest not disrespectful so I wish others would do it for me. But I'm trying pretty hard and it's funny the catalyst for this. It was my job. Not the crush. In fact i'm starting to get over that because I'm feeling like a dump site. I can have a crush though. Just a friend crush though :)

I want to write more things like this in my personal at home for me written diary but typing is so much faster. Should I do a digital journal?

[jessecrust]

I don't need your Civil War!

Towards the end of Civil War, we come across a giant field in Charlottesville, Virginia. It's a staging ground for a large invasion that's about to occur. There's a large white truck with "PRESS" emblazoned on the sides, the back door is open and a man lies in the seat dead. White coffins neatly dot the field in front of the truck, certainly containing the corpses of Western Forces soldiers who will be given a proper burial at some point in the future. Then, a coffin for the slain journalist is brought out and that's that. It's a well-shot scene, but I don't know what any of it means.

In fact, I don't know anything about the secessionist "Western Forces" or what remains of the United States. The WF appear to be a normal, professional, competent army, far from the violent racist rag-tag militiamen that dump corpses into a mass grave we saw just moments earlier. Are these groups fighting on the same side? Do they want to kill the president too? Beats me!

The WF show respect for the dead, they respect the press, what have you. What do they believe? At least I know the Jesse Plemons guy is racist. The only thing I know about the WF is that they want to kill the president. Who is the president? I don't know, he's just some guy, he doesn't even have a name. The first character you see in the movie is the president. What did he do to cause a Civil War? I don't know, but I swear to God, I saw him do a Trump style lip-purse as he practices his speech, but that may just be me reading too much into things.

Every story needs some amount of world building, especially speculative fiction. You can have a little, you can have a lot, but you have to have some. Civil War has almost none. None of the factions are explained, none of the characters besides the journalists have names, there's no backstory, only empty gestures towards salient, hot button political issues. Remember Charlottesville? Remember Antifa? Remember Abolish the FBI? This the world where that all happened, but worse. There was the "Antifa Massacre" but no one bothers to explain if Antifa did the massacring or were the massacred. At one point I think I heard someone say "Parkland Maoists". Did I mishear it? Is it Portland Maoists? No idea.

The only thing that anchors the movie is the reverence it has for the press and war journalism. I could not help but think of "The Hurt Locker" after I watched it, but instead of a bomb disposal guy getting high on defusing IEDs it's war correspondents getting horny for taking photos of mutilated corpses. Please don't accuse me of being immature here, one of the main characters, upon seeing a battle nearby their encampment for the night, proclaims that he is "rock hard" for whatever is going on over there and they should head over first thing in the morning to cover it. Like "The Hurt Locker," the war doesn't matter, the politics don't matter, it's all denatured space for the hero of the story to get their rocks off.

Back to the journalists, they're not even that likeable. I guess if I had to see people get necklaced for my job like the legendary Lee Smith (Kirsten Dunst) then maybe I'd be an unsentimental hard-ass, too, but it's taken to such dizzying extremes that I cannot really root for them. Is this the "free press" we are defending? The people who barely have a moment to mourn their summarily-executed friends because the need to take a photo of the president's corpse is way more important? Early in the movie, Lee reflects on her career with her with her mentor in one of the film's quiet moments. She tells him when she sent back those photos of war-torn countries, the stuff that made her famous, she thought it was a warning, but "here we are". I thought about this scene after watching the film's conclusion: a nearly half-hour, seamless action set-piece of the assault on the White House. It was exhilarating filmmaking, blending glorious ruined cityscapes and intimate handheld shots. We've seen small scale skirmishes, a sniper duel, and hella war crimes, but this is the money shot right here. It was great to watch, but this is where our hero is starting to have her doubts. Lee is reduced to a simpering mess for most of the scene, clearly having some sort of existential crisis over her life and career. All the while, her protégé, Jessie, a young girl who tagged along for their suicide mission to the nation's capitol is coming into her own as a Badass Motherfucking War Journalist.

Lee is Jessie's hero, and she's spent the movie gently guiding Jessie through seeing her first war crimes, her first cold blooded murders, her first mass grave, etc. But you know where this is going already, don't you? Of course you do, the young brash Jessie does something really stupid and it's up to Lee to save her life, jumping in front of bullets meant for her at the last moment. Throughout the film, Garland juxtaposes gunshots with camera shots, linking them together as equally powerful ways to change the world. The bullets tear though Lee, click, Jessie snaps her photo, click. And that's it, no one even mourns her, Lee's partner, Joel, presumably a man who has worked with her for a long time, quickly runs to the next room with Jessie and accomplishes his mission: to get a quote from the president. He begs for his life and is killed. Are these our heroes?

I'm not entirely sure what the filmmakers wanted me to take from this movie. Presumably that it's bad to have a Civil War and bad to kill the president, but every single facet of this film is undercooked. The factions make no sense, simply being flimsy stand-ins for confused ideologies. The secessionists come in two flavors: racist and non-racist, and the loyalists don't exist on screen at all. The main characters are all stock and paper-thin. The orgiastic violence excites and thrills; it does not repel and horrify. What would we lose in a new American Civil War? I think of the movie's second scene: a hotel where journalists hang out in New York, and an annoyed Lee complaining about how slow the wi-fi is. That's the stakes, apparently. Without any overt or covert political messages, without any point of view, the movie cannot have much of an impact beyond the most tired liberal anti-polarization and pro-democracy aphorisms. Without round, interesting characters, the Hurt Locker-esque "war as drug" schtick just makes our protagonists seem like craven assholes, not tortured souls trying to find their way.

This is not a dark warning of a dystopian future, it's a half-peeled off COEXIST bumper sticker.

Final rating: 2/5 Canadian Dollars (apparently they're worth more than American dollars now? I don't know, man.)

tl;dr watch if you want to see a well-shot war film, just don't expect much out of the story or characters.

[the-kimberly]

our dawn is hotter than day

taken from one of my fave track by my fave kpop group - seventeen. here it goes again, the deafening noise of being alone in my flat confined in these corner where intrusive thoughts seemed to be painted on the walls making my mind interpret such abstract designs. for the past few weeks, i have been living alone with my flatmates being barely at home. don't get me wrong, i am happy for them - they are enjoying the freedom and love they have been deserving. it has been awhile since i have posted a brain dump in this safe space and I feel like I have so much more to ay but it's just that, the words and context aren't coming out write as composed as I wish for it to be.

at this very moment, I am on the 2nd day of my standby - the code on my roster I almost loathe. I just feel like it's a waste of time to wait whether or not they want me to go to work. I am craving to be grounded to the outside world enjoying the fresh breeze, appreciating everything around me rather than being stuck at home doing nothing but overthinking.

this year, I have vowed to put myself more out there - to meet new people, gain experiences and truly see the world not just via layovers. as I have come across the post that says, "I recommend going on solo trips. we gotta stop waiting for people to see the world" which in fact, hit's the bull's eye. so many unplanned trips but schedules never matched, different priorities or they just don't value you that much, whatever the reason is, should never be a hindrance most especially if you're well aware that you are capable.

now I'm sitting here infront of my laptop pouring down my thoughts while listening to music planning some self care shenanigans for my days off. I just want to be in my unbothered, do not disturb era lessening putting my life behind the screens but living it instead.

I never had any issues doing things alone - in fact, I really do value my me time but I just wish that on some instances, people would do the same thing for me like making time.

if you think I'm behind my laptop with a frowned face, you are wrong. I'm actually smiling at myself reminiscing about how I was before circa 2018. hurrying to sign out my shift just so I can catch the sunset, have a stroll at the mall and sometimes even treat myself to a nice meal if my budget allows. or how I was during college days - going to binondo to unwind and kill time - or let's not stray away, that version of me during pandemic who has been dedicated to journaling, listening to podcasts and just living - all done alone.

one thing I realized is that - we have to stop waiting for people to do things with us or even for us. that would be such a waste of time waiting for uncertainties. it's like standing under and umbrella waiting for it to rain.

I hope we find the right circle for us - without the guilt of fitting ourselves in a circumference of a wrong equation. or sometimes, just appreciate being alone.

happy 2024!

how have you been?

[drakinq]

030423

I’ve been taking a break from my morning pages but still need to journal. So I need to do a brain dump before I go on with the rest of my day. I quit chemistry and haven’t really been able to feel the consequences due to have such a busy weekend with dance. I’m not as sad about it as I thought. I think I have a better chance starting somewhere fresh instead of trying to get them to change their impression of me. My life isn’t actually falling apart and if I’ve learned anything from being fired from my job this time last year is to just keep getting back on the horse and not letting my defeats hinder me but instead get up.I have big goals for this year and I feel on track and I don’t want that to change. I needed to get outta there before I got in too deep. It’s spring and I’m excited to elevate my life and get started with new. I’m proud of myself for not letting this situation stunt my growth towards my school and for that I believe God will reward me. I feel like I’ve been thrown a lot of challenges these past couple weeks but I’m not letting that stop what I’m trying to do. That gives me strength to handle future problems better. The fact that I can rely on my character to hold me down at the end of the day. I also am growing more deeper in trusting myself and not having to worry about my betrayal. I’m not perfect, there are so many things I wish I handled better but I’m secure in the fact that I know what I want to be and what I don’t want to be. Annie hit me up because jimmy was draining her and he then proceeded to drain me as well. But I know what I’m doing and I’m not gonna let his pessimistic ass stop the blessings I’m searching for myself. I’ve accepted that hes a lost soul and will remain lost until he wants to be found. I worried about seeing marlyn at the sage party tonight but I also feel better knowing that my friends will be there as well and that she doesn’t have any affect on my shine. I want to have bigger character and humble my ego to the fact that she’s the one ultimately bothered by my presence so I should take up even more space. Other than that, I’m just proud, and happy to be here trusting the lord and doing right by myself even when I feel like no one else is. I have to get up and get ready for this party. I need to say a deep prayer tonight and probably do more work when I get home. But I’m excited to get shit done this month and continue to take control of my life and let God take care of the things I can’t. I just want to say my decision to leave Chemistry feels like I’m letting God bless me with something better.