#inner safe space

[subsystems]

Developing an Inner Safe Space for Parts

Note: This post was written for people with dissociative disorders, but anyone else can use the methods here if they're helpful!

This post is all about inner safe spaces! What is an inner safe space, though? Here's what Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation says:

"Inner safe spaces are images of places where you can be safe, relaxed, and cared for. These images have been shown to be helpful to many people, not just those with dissociative disorders. This type of imaginal activity is well known to produce a feeling of relaxation and well-being in those who use it regularly. If your inner experience feels so jarring, unsafe, and frightening, as it often does in individuals with dissociative disorders, the ability to imagine these spaces becomes especially important and helpful."

Inner safe spaces can be useful for many things. You can use it to relax & alleviate anxiety. It can be a tool for soothing dissociated parts of the self, or aide in your communication with them. You or other parts can enter your inner safe space to protect yourself from feeling overwhelmed or potential triggers. Overall, creating an inner safe space can help make your mind a safer, calmer place.

So, how do you make one? All you have to do is imagine it!

Your inner safe space can be anything you want to imagine. There are no rules and it can always be changed! You can create one imaginary place for all parts of your system to share & add to. Or, each part of your system can create their own inner safe spaces to match their own needs. Some people already experience some sort of inner world, too. This can always be changed in order to make it feel safer and calmer for all parts of the system.

🌟 Ideas for inner safe spaces:

Outdoor areas like a meadow, beach, forest, mountain, etc.

Buildings like a cabin, tree house, castle, library, etc.

Vehicles like a car, pirate ship, submarine, spacecraft, etc.

Something underground, underwater, in the sky, or in space.

An entire planet or world of your own.

A fictional world that brings you comfort.

An inner safe space isn't a safe space if it doesn't make you, including all parts of you, feel safe. A good place to start is by writing down things that make you feel safe. If you don't know what makes you feel safe, try looking at what makes you feel less unsafe. It might also help to ask a loved one or therapist for help!

Invite your system to include their own needs, too. Try not to judge them even if you disagree. It's important for all parts of the system to feel safe.

🌟 Ideas for things that you can add/adjust to make your inner safe space feel more comfortable:

Add games, food, and movies that you like

Create individual rooms for each part of the system

Give yourself an inner appearance that makes you happy

Add your favorite colors, sounds, smells, & sights

Add people, characters, animals & creatures that you like

Give yourself a comfortable bed, with soft blankets & maybe even some plushies

Add pride flags!

Create a protective force field around your safe space

You or other parts may want to have a safe space that no one else can intrude upon and that's okay. It's important to respect each other's privacy. You can also adjust the inner safe space to make communication between parts easier! For example, you could add intercoms, mailboxes, telephones, or even a meeting area for aiding communication.

🌟 Having trouble visualizing, or can't visualize things at all? Try...

Drawing or painting it.

Writing about it.

Building it. You can use a video game like the Sims (get it for free!) or Minecraft.

Basing it off of a real place.

Collecting photos/videos of what you want it to be like. You can find royalty-free images on Unsplash and Pixabay. Or you create a Pinterest account!

Filling a journal, document, blog, or discord server with pictures, writing, and anything you want about your inner safe space!

Trying guided exercises for creating inner safe spaces. (IMO this is best done with a therapist's help.)

Asking your friends, therapist, or loved ones for their suggestions.

Creating a physical safe space instead of an inner one.

[multiplicity-positivity]

All About Headspaces!

We thought it would be a good idea to write a post on headspaces (or inner worlds) as we understand them. This post will contain information that we’ve learned along with our personal experiences. No two headspaces work the same way, and no two systems will experience headspaces in a similar fashion, so don’t be alarmed if your system’s headspace functions differently from what we describe in this post!

What is a headspace?

A headspace (or inner world) is an imagined, fantasized place that exists within a person’s mind. Headspaces are not exclusive to systems - all sorts of people can build or create their own headspaces. Many created systems or paromancers may call their headspaces “wonderlands,” but they’re in essence the same thing. Any system member can start the process of visualizing a headspace, and as other members are included and collaborate together, their headspace can grow to involve the whole system and become a place of solace and rest.

The creation of mental “safe spaces” is often used in therapy for treatment of anxiety, PTSD, and other mental illnesses. When feeling overwhelmed, it can be immensely beneficial to have a gentle, peaceful place in your mind you can return to in order to calm down and relax. Headspaces are a skill taught in dialectical behavior therapy, and many therapists may incorporate building headspaces into their patients’ treatment plans.

Who can have a headspace?

Nearly everyone is capable of building and maintaining their own headspace! The one example we can think of for individuals who may struggle to create a headspace are folks with aphantasia. Since headspaces are visualization tools, those who are incapable of visualizing places within their mind might find themselves unable to create a headspace.

You don’t have to have DID in order to create a headspace, you don’t have to be a system, you don’t have to be traumatized or even struggle with mental illness! Headspaces are for everyone, regardless of ability or state of being.

Are headspaces the same as paracosms?

In our experience, if headspaces and paracosms are not the same, they are incredibly similar. Both are imagined worlds that exist within the minds of the people who create them. Our paracosm exists as a part of our headspace, and many other folks may find their paracosms are similarly connected to their headspaces!

Are headspaces physical places?

No, headspaces are imagined or fantasized places and only exist within the minds of those who create them. While experiences within the headspace may seem quite vivid or feel visceral and may even have physical consequences and effects on each individual, events that take place inside the headspace are not happening in a physical sense.

Some systems with particular spiritual beliefs may understand their headspaces as physical places which exist in alternate dimensions or somewhere else in the universe. While these individuals are deserving of having their experiences heard and taken seriously, most headspaces in fact do not function in this way.

How can I make my own headspace?

To start, try to find a calm, quiet environment where you can be by yourself for a while. Close your eyes, and try to imagine the first piece of your headspace. This can be an area like a beach or a meadow, or something simpler like a plant or a piece of furniture. As you imagine this space or item, ask yourself questions like:

- What does this place or object look like?

- What does it feel like? If I imagine myself touching the object, or the things in the place around me, what textures might I encounter?

- What does it smell like? What does it sound like? How does it make me feel?

Envision using all 5 of your senses to imagine this place or object. Once you have a pretty good idea of what it looks, feels, smells, and sounds like, spend a little time just sitting in your space or with your object. Then, take a break from visualizing. Later, come back to it and try to imagine everything exactly as you did before. By leaving and coming back to it regularly, you can help ensure your headspace can somewhat exist even when you’re not actively thinking about it!

If you need help finding inspiration for your headspace, you can turn to image sites like Pixabay, Unsplash, or Pinterest to help you discover what helps you feel calm and safe. If you have access to other members of your system, perhaps consult with them to see what they’d like to have in a headspace and what you could create that would help them feel safe and comfortable.

Once you are able to comfortably and reliably access the place or item you’ve created, feel free to repeat the process to add to your headspace! Our system created our headspace in this way, and by this point it is a vast world full of different areas for our alters to exist in when they’re not fronting. But it started with one room - a living room with quilts tossed over couches, rugs all over the floor, and big, bright windows with sunflower curtains. Gradually we added rooms, then an outside, turning it into a treehouse, and just kept expanding from there!

Wrapping up

We know this post doesn’t go into much detail, but we hope this is useful to folks as a bit of an introduction to headspaces, what they are, and how to go about making one! We’re including some links below to posts and articles about headspaces and inner worlds - hopefully they can help even more! Best of luck to y’all with your endeavors to create a headspace that fills you and your system with peace and comfort!

^ this link uses “tulpamancy” language - our system has switched to “paromancy” language, which is less racist and less culturally appropriative! the guides on tulpa websites are still quite useful, but we wanted to include a disclaimer on the terminology.

(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)

[the-canid-crew]

Mindscape - The Firelight Woods

A deciduous wood that changes distinctly in each season. From pastels in spring with vibrant flowers, to a deep green in summer, to shades of yellows, oranges, reds and browns in fall, finally to dark tree trunks contrasted in frosty white snow. All throughout the year, fireflies can be seen dancing and weaving through the trees at night fall, creating a beautiful display.

This is the clearing where Theodore and I sit and watch said fireflies.

[littletism]

　new versions of my bluey healing/recovery userboxes . . . ♪

♡ with easier to read text/colors !

　free to use . . credit only if you repost ♪

[lilsag3]

i love cups

[mortuarymorticia]

🍓🍰 —— 🍓🍰

a soft reminder that coping looks different for everybaby.

some of us color. some of us watch shows from our childhood. some of us buy ourselves toys & run our own bubble baths. some of us let someone else do it for us.

some of us don’t regress or age dream at all to cope. some of us hide under the covers & cry. some of us dissociate into childhood. some of us isolate with our stuffies.

coping doesn’t have to be pretty or aesthetic to be valid.

🍓🍰 —— 🍓🍰

[recoveringprincess]

Nostalgia will be the death of me.

I want it to be 2013.

I don’t want to pretend I’m still a child.

I want to be a child.

I want to be a child with a loving family.

I want to be a child that’s genuinely happy.

I want to be a child that knows nothing about death.

I want it to be 2013 again but under different circumstances.

I want everything to be exactly as it was in 2013 except how I was treated by those who claimed to love me most.

I want the excitement on Christmas.

I want the excitement on my birthday.

I want my biggest worry to be what to wear on the first day of first grade, or what toys to take to the park.

I want everything surrounding me to be the same. The same toys, stores that have been redone since then haven’t been, my room never changed.

I want it to be 2013. I want to be 6/7.

Regression is a great coping mechanism. But there will never be a point where I wouldn’t prefer to actually relive my childhood as it happened, except with a happier home life. (And preferably without all the years of bullying but mainly the family thing).

[shhtickerbook]

goin down the slide!!!!

[nostalgiclittlespace]

Safe spaces

Idk who needs to head this today, but here’s a friendly reminder that Little Space is your safe place. I don’t just mean that in the sense that’s it’s SFW and therapeutic, but also that this is your place to let go. Of stress, social norms and expectations, responsibilities-whatever it is just let it go. It doesn’t exist in this space. Don’t worry about being judged. Don’t worry about what the world will look like when your regression ends. Don’t feel self conscious about comfort items. Just be you.

This is space I belongs to you, and you deserve it ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ -Marty

[bwallerina]

babiest storytime ᯓ ᡣ𐭩

[adultstuff0]

Isn't age regression supposed to be a safe space for everyone? Because from what I’ve seen, it feels like it’s the exact opposite of a safe space.

On my profile, you might see that I frequently look for a caregiver/ parental figure—someone supportive who can help me cope with certain trauma or feeling neglected. You might also notice that I have some NSFW posts, and there’s a reason for that. Like many others, I’m working through certain trauma in my own ways, and these posts are a way for me to deal with trauma without making my mental health worse than it already is. So no, I’m not sexualizing age regression or looking to make it inappropriate in any way.

Recently, I reached out to someone who seemed like a good fit for a caregiver. They post actively under age regression tags, and I approached them with a polite question about whether they would want to be my caregiver. Their response was blunt: “Absolutely not.” And then they blocked me.

I’ve heard from others who have had similar experiences. There seems to be a double standard or quick judgment from people in this space. If age regression communities are supposed to be “safe spaces for everyone,” shouldn’t that include people who, like me, use NSFW content in a completely separate context to manage trauma? Shouldn’t there be an effort to understand before jumping to conclusions?

Imagine blocking someone for asking to connect in a 100% platonic way, simply because their profile includes content unrelated to age regression. I wasn’t given a chance to explain or confirm my intentions. The immediate assumption was negative without any consideration or effort to see if I was genuine.

If the age regression community claims to be inclusive, it should make space for people from all walks of life who seek support. Trauma healing looks different for everyone, and people’s coping mechanisms vary. Judging someone for something completely unrelated to their intentions in the age regression space undermines the very idea of creating a safe, inclusive community. Instead of “safe for everyone,” it seems like it’s only safe for some people.

[emoboi20]

Blue's Clues Agere Moodboard

One of my current regression shows that I'm OBSESSED with is Blue's Clues and I wanted to make a moodboard for anyone else who loves this show! (also I have a really cute Blue's Clues bag I'll post soon. The bag is from when I was three but I found it last summer and it is sooo cute!)

Anyways here's the board:

Have a good day my lovelies and may all your regression be safe and spent doing everything you love!

[lilblossom5294]

Reframing Negative Self Talk 🌸

Hello Lovely Lil Blossom Petals , I would love to help you and your inner child heal by aiding you in adjusting your self - talk . One thing I struggle with as an age regressor ( and a caregiver ) is coping with my inner critic . They are mean and judgmental of all that I do , and I am not alone in this .

We all struggle with our inner critics to some degree . And , my dears , there is a way to make small adjustments in the present that can make a big difference in our future . I care about my lovely lil blossoms , and I want to see you blossom into your best self ! 🌸🤍🌸

Here Are Some Negative Phrases That Can Be Reframed Into Something More Fulfilling And Optimistic 🤍 :

" Why Is This Happening To Me ? " -> " What Is This Teaching Me ? "

" It's Too Late " -> " I Have More Time To Start Again "

" I Am A Burden " -> " I Can Contribute To Others "

" I Am A Disappointment " -> " There Are People Who Love And Accept Me As My True Self "

" I Am Not Capable " -> " I Have The Power To Succeed "

" I Am A Mess " -> " I Am Human "

" I Am Feeling < Insert Negative Emotion > " -> " This Feeling Is Temporary And I Hold Space To Feel And Let Go Of This Emotion "

" Everything Is My Fault " -> " I Can Learn From My Mistakes "

You hold the power , even when smol . You are worthy , even if you struggle with mental health . You are enough , even when you have been put down . You are valid , you are still healing . Healing takes time , and you have your whole life ahead of you .

To All The Beautiful , Handsome , and - or Stunning Littles And Caregivers , You Are Enough . You Are Worthy . You Are Healing . You Are Doing The Best You Can In This Moment With The Resources You Have Now 🌸🤍🌸

[littletism]

things that make me feel extra tiny ♡

wrapping myself in blankets

cute fluffy socks

playing with baba's hands/arms

eating my food on sectioned plates w cute designs on them

drinking out of tiny juice boxes

eating character shaped mac and cheese

cleaning charts, potty charts, good behavior charts

playing school & pretending im in kindergarten again

good2grow drinks & snacks

meltdowns (not always positive, but its good to get those feelings out sometimes!)

being a total troublemaker & driving baba insane

snuggles!!!! ♡♡

SFW INTERACTION ONLY

[lilsag3]

[confettiepup]

I’m so so soooo excited for Halloween but I just started to be sick I hope it will go away really soon :’( Here’s some colorings I did today while drinking tea!

Just noticed I made a lil mistake for Chloe’s feet and tail lol

Use code « puppie » to get 10% off at Oopsie Daizee