#inevitable and normal. but i still think
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sorry im not as hairy as the other bears and my beard isnt as full. im sorry. do you still love me
#im hairy compared to like. the average joe. but sometimes i see pics of other bears and im like WOWIE!!!#in The Bear Handbook: A Comprehensive Guide for Those Who Are Husky#Hairy and Homosexual and Those Who Love 'Em#it has a little code for describing how much hair you have so like. i think being less hairy than some of these men is like#inevitable and normal. but i still think#sometimes i want to up my t dose so i get hairier but idk if that. would actually work. have to go to an endo#anyways#ive started kinda getting back into calling myself a bear. watch in 2 weeks im gonna have a gender shift back into butch#and im gonna be like. no im not a bear and have never and will never be a mlm again. i live here. lol.#yall need to keep me humble/realistic.#im genderfluid and even if i stay in one gender for months you have to remind me. you will fag it up again someday#writing an essay in the tags. thats cause im a crazy person. lol <3
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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Its late and im tired so please excuse if this doesn't make sense but lately, I've been thinking about Angry Aredhel must have been
Like realistically, when has this woman made a single decision about her future for herself, and in the few times when she did, when did it not end in tragedy
She must have been so angry, so frustrated and wrathful at her lot in life. She was meant for other things, greater thing! She was a disciple of Orome, the Maiden in White, one of the best hunters in his group along with her cousin.
Yet here she is, caged and trapped like a pretty little canary in a wire house. Stolen from her purpose because of her eldest brother's blind loyalty, her father's stubborn pride, her second oldest brother's blinding grief, and her baby brother's terminal bravery. She's across an ocean, escaped one cage for another by her tormentor and abuser posing as a husband.
The bastard won't even name their child.
She must have be so angry, stuck in that endless darkness, the forest must be such a familiar landscape but so different, twisted and wrong like looking into a warped mirror.
Shes grieving outside her "home" one night, having managed to convince the trees to part their branches just enough that she can glimpse a star or two so she can bask in the starlight. Its been a year since the birth of her son, and nothing has changed. Eol won't look at the boy, and she can feel herself drifting. Without the ability to see the passage of time, without the Light of the Trees or with the Sun and Moon chasing each other across the sky, things are blending together and she feels adrift.
At least when they crossed they ice, they were able to watch the stars move across the endless dark.
The starlight warms her skin, as weak and distant as it is, so she basks. With her eyes closed and face tilted up she feels like a lizard in the mid day sun. Behind her, she hears a noise, a twig being deliberately stepped upon. Aredhel whips around, raising her glowing lichen lamp, wondering if its her husband or one of his servants come to take her back. She feels a little feral at the idea of being dragged away from the pitiful starlight.
A wolf, with a pelt as crisp and clean as the snow dusting Himring's mountain top, slinks into the soft glow. Its fur takes on an almost sickly colour in the green luminescence. The wolf settles at the edge of the light, resting on its haunches as it observes her.
Aredhel thinks she's beautiful, for it is a female wolf. Even in the weak lamplight the beast's silver eyes seem to glow on their own, piercing her very fea and enticing her to come forward, to come closer. There is a power within the she wolf, one Aredhel craves.
The white beast introduces herself as a member of Orome's hunt, and Aredhel believes it, for the she wolf looks like the perfect hunter. The wolf asks her what she, as a fellow hunter, is doing out so far away from her kin and cub.
Momentarily surprised by the ability to speak, for not even Huan can speak so freely, Aredhel responses. She shares her desire for light, her frustration with her "husband," and how she wants a different life for her son. She never wanted this, and she wishes she had the ability to take control of her own fate.
The wolf is sympathetic to her plights, and offers to help her free herself and her child.
"You do have the ability to change your own fate, young one. Asking for help is something no one else could have done for you."
So Aredhel leads the wolf back to Eol's house. They walk through the entry way, both hunters are silent as the dawn as they go. Aredhel heads towards the master bedroom, but hesitates at the door. She can see Eol on his side of their bed, snoring lightly as he does. She hesitates, seeing a vision of what will happen once he realizes she's gone. Fire, doom and death follows her, poison and a flash of fang would flicker in him before he strikes her down for disobedience, for stealing away the son he won't even name.
The wolf nudges her aside, ghosting past her into the room. Aredhel's throat closes up and she slinks away, heading towards Lomion's nursery. She leaves to go strap her sleeping infant son to her chest, then grabs some supplies from the kitchen in a bag. Not even hearing a mouse skittering in the walls, let alone her wolf companion, she steels her nerves to check the master bedroom one more time.
As she passes her bedroom, she can see through a crack in the door and her breath freezes. Standing over the now corpse of her husband, maw dripping red from the freshly torn out throat, the white wolf looms. Aredhel stares transfixed, she can almost taste the blood between her own teeth, feel the rush of the kill, ache of her gums as tendons and tissue would rub against them. The wolf turns to look at her, silver eyes wild, white fur stained with her kill. Aredhel feels the air return to her lungs, she feels lighter and free, a little giggle slips past her lips and the wolf peels back its lips and bares its dripping fangs in a smile.
Aredhel leaves the house, fleeing on foot and all the while she can hear the wolf following her, keeping pace and shadowing her in the darkness, and at some points, ahead of her, leading her out of the woods. Running like this, oh she hasn't done this in years!. The wind snapping at her hair, branches and leaves kissing her cheeks and arms, the rush of a completed hunt with another one ahead of her feels like her first real breath in a long time. It feels like days later, and seconds, heartbeats, when she can see the treeline, dawn's hazy reddish glow peaking through the trees.
Aredhel gives a joyful cry and runs faster. That laughter bubbling up inside of her finally bursts past her lips once she breaks the treeline. The sun on her skin is warm and bright and all she wants to do is laugh and cry and scream until her throat is raw and her tears run dry. But she has to keep moving, she has Lomion still with her, and she is too close to the woods to feel truly safe yet. She walks north, and east, not really knowing where she's heading but knowing that she'll cross into her cousins' land soon. As she walks, she soon realizes that she hasn't seen or heard from her she wolf in a while. Stopping, Aredhel turns to look back, but no where can she see that brilliant white coat, or any tracks that look like wolf paws. She squint, looking back at the distant treeline and sees nothing but shadow. She mourns for her companion, wishing she could have wished her well or at least thanked her for her help. She wonders if Orome set the wolf to free her, not wanting to see one of his hunters in chains.
Its about mid morning when she comes across some of her cousins men, and they're horrified. They ask if she's ok, of she's hurt, they take her to a nearby stream even though she insists she's fine, that she wants to see her cousins.
When she sees her reflection she's scared for a moment. All she can see it blood, dried and crusted down her throat, staining her lips and chin. There is red all along the collar of her white dress, her sleeves, but her hands are clean, and so is her son still asleep strapped across her chest. She looks into her reflection, not yet comprehending. Silver eyes that seem so familiar stare back above the red, above the proof of her freedom.
She bares her bloody teeth in smile.
#Aredhel#silm#silmarillion#Maeglin#i think it would hot if Aredhel pulled a finrod and ripped out eols throat#with her bare teeth like Yes Please Queen Slay lmao#Celegorm is so proud when he finds out like Lmao Still Got It Cuz!!!!! and a bonus new free nephew!!!!#Curufin is disgusted he is related to these ppl but also is supportive of Aredhel going ape shit like she deserves#she chipped some of her teeth on thr bite so like the loving cousin he is curufin makes her mithril fangs#maedhros screams into his hands when he finds out but is also proud. so is fingon! thats his Baby Sister!!!#Lomion grows up Normal and Loved and Nolo adores him and is glad to have a sensible heir for when#fingon inevitability leaves them to marry Maedhros. whenever they get around to it.
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having a really old dog is just repeating the mantra to yourself "i am grateful for the time i've been given and when it comes time to let him go i will do so gracefully. i am grateful for the time i've been given and when it comes time to let wait why are you not pooping normally WHAT IS GOING ON WHY WON'T YOU POOP ARE YOU DYING" and then calling the vet in a panic, being told actually he's fine but give the probiotic some time to do its thing and then let us know if anything changes, and then you take a deep breath and go "cool. yeah. obviously he's fine. anyway. i am grateful for the time i've been given and
#listen i got this dog when he was already 7 years old and i was 22#never in a million years did i think he'd still be here EIGHT YEARS LATER when i'm THIRTY#tbh after all the shit i've given him for pooping inside he WOULD go out because of some constipation#like ''fine you don't want me to poop inside? i guess i'll never poop again''#which is why i was so worried because this just felt like something that would happen#but the vet literally didn't bat an eye when i called lmao#she was just like ''oh yeah that sounds totally normal''#so this geriatric menace gets to live on#me#dog death cw#not really but talking about like. the inevitability of it#HONESTLY i'm glad i've had so many scares because it's almost like it's bracing me for the real event#not to be. excessively morbid or anything#ANYWAY#DOG IS FINE HE'S JUST HAVING HIS DIGESTIVE SYSTEM RESET
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11 fish
#art#traditional art#watercolour#inspired by the fact that in my studio classes recently - i and every other student who does watercolor or ink based work#always inevitable has viewers more drawn to our swatch test pages instead of our actual work LOL#i dont mind it too much i get it but it is funny so i thought yknow i have this tiny pad of watercolour paper that i dont feel like using#for normal drawings (too small) so i drew a shitty fish on each page and used it as a tester page whenever i was doing my#for-fun cartoon drawings <3 not looking at it at all just putting down the colour to check the consistency of paint#i think its kinda fun. its an interesting conundrum because that pure spontaneous quality u get from my test swatches Cannot be emulated on#purpose. i can get close and loosen up. but inevitably unless i make all my normal drawings test swatches while colouring in other stuff#my normal drawings will never truly have this quality. which i dont mind! but i thought itd be funny to find a way to still make something#with this intangible test swatch quality since people like it a lot! and it does look neat#also each one was a specific painting session. some were smaller sessions with only a few colours used#and some were really long sessions! and of course u can see how much brown and black and beige i use#and u can spot the traces of rosie in the green and pink HJKSDAHJKDSl hes always here#very interesting thing to play around with! i'd like to do something like this again i think
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uuhhh in other new that lmk s5 trailer dropped and people are very
mixed
for context the new season is being partly animated by wildbrain i think. flying bark is still working on the show but probably due to all the other projects they've been working on like the atla movie the animation is off.
its understandable that people are upset. lmk has some of the most consistently dynamic and lively animation ive ever seen, and going from that to ok animation kinda sucks. as a culmination of a lot of what the series has been building up to people were inevitably going to be disappointed
at the same time people shouldnt harass animators. like ever. no amount of trying to petition or anything will change the s5, people are just trying to do their job and theres no probably no major changing to the finished product by now. and theres still a lot of that lmk charm in there, and we haven't even seen the whole season yet to judge it. flying bark is still working on it, and even if the animation never reaches the peak of the old seasons it still has the same writers so at least the writing has the chance to live up old standards. idk though we'll just have to wait and see
#i do think they could have just delayed it after dealing with other projects but with the anniversary lego might have jsut forced them????#and with how the animation industry is i guess they didnt have a choice#tbh im still really sad about the downgrade but after rewatching the trailer a bit more its not that bad despite the tweening#we've been spoiled with the other seasons but i think people will get used to it at some point. maybe#though i cant forgive some of the new stuff like li jing and that dragon tiger duo they do not fit the artstyle at all#though for li jing i think the problem is mostly proportions and how small his eyes look#but the dragon and tigers snouts just look bad.#ok looking at it again i think it looks weird because theyre dissolving. the design's still off but it wasn't as bad as i first thought.#but the proportions and shapes feels like it just isn't from lmk#idk i could nitpick but negativity is tiring and these guys have big shoes to fill for a show they werent prepared for it was inevitable#for any last takeaways please do not be mean to the animators#also studio changes are normal so its not some horrible injustice or the sign of the end times im more upset lego didn't handle it better#i still hope s5 is good and i want to believe it'll still be satisfying by the end the plot so far sounds pretty interesting#or atleast that the atla movie is good enough to compensate#and if im feeling greedy there will be a 6th season that gets better#and there are still good shots throughout all of this so maybe it'll work out with the season as a whole#with how popular it is in china i dont think its out of the question#idk though a lot of information is still up in the air so i guess we just wait#lego monkie kid#lmk#monkie kid#alttalks
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Poll for whitebeakedraven
#I haven't particularly thought about the twins lifespan tbh#I think that full demons are immortal#I'm still working on demon lore but I think that demons grow up quicker than humans do and at a certain point stop aging#like when they're in a human equivalent of their mid-late 20's or early-mid 30's they stop aging and stay that age forever and can't die of#old age#But I'm not really sure about half-demons#The twins & Nero seem to be aging normally#Not rapidly#And Dante definitely doesn't appear to have stopped aging at any point?#I'd argue he even looks older than he really is#Maybe they can choose to age or not?#Or if they are immortal they stop aging later than full demons?#Or maybe they just have a lengthened life span but can die of old age they'll just live longer than regular humans?#Or maybe they have a human lifespan#I'm honestly not sure#I think Trish is immortal and that honestly makes me feel bad for her#I almost want to say they are immortal just for Trish's sake#But then Dante Vergil and Nero will have to watch the humans they care about inevitably be sweeped away by old age#Same as Trish#I'm honestly really not sure#Devil May Cry#DMC#Dante DMC#Vergil DMC#Nero DMC
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i continue to find ii3 baffling. why did they make it (this isn't to hate on the season, i'm genuinely curious)
#melonposting#this isn't meant to be ii neg by the way. i'm just confused about AE's writing choices#i don't remember if they ever said explicitly? at the very least i haven't heard an official answer#i don't think it was initially for any plot reason. my theory is that it's for the same reason bfb and tpot split#the episodes were taking really long to make and they wanted to go back to regular lighthearted uploads. which is understandable#so while ii2 was cooking they could still post new ii episodes with reasonable frequency#but that also raises so many questions#the biggest: why the hell is mephone here#seriously i know people like mephone but i'm sure having a different host wouldn't turn literally everyone off#and mephone hosting this show causes so many strange easily avoidable problems#like the screwy timeline. mephone ditches his show for what he experiences to be years and yet ii2 is continuing like normal#only a day has passed for them. why? maybe they'll try to explain it#in any event if ii3 had a different host this wouldn't even be an issue#but then they made ii3 really plot heavy for mephone which then ended up screwing itself over#the season justified itself as being mephone trying to escape from his problems#and he goes through character development to address all of his baggage and how much of a jerk he can be#that suddenly makes what seems to have been meant to be a lighthearted offshoot season into an imperative piece of his character (bizarre)#which would inevitably make his return to ii2 really weird cuz that would mean he had his redemption arc basically off-screen#but then they didn't even do that????? in the new episode mephone is still his old bastard self. nothing like late ii3 mephone#which means that they're effectively retconning ii3's plot out of existence. as it is ii 15 barely acknowledged anything specific from ii3#but this in particular is especially absurd. ii2 can continue like normal only because they're acting like ii3 never happened#which is just insane to me. why even give mephone character development in ii3 to begin with???????#why does ii3 even exist????????????????????? his character development is literally the in-universe justification for the season#i'm so confused#i'm just glad ii2 can proceed like normal :thumbsup: but these are seriously some puzzling writing decisions
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Trying to trim our 16 year old family dog is not fun lemme tell you. He’s always hated getting his fur cut and now he’s old and deaf and hates it even more. He’s half Japanese spitz and half lhasa apso so his fur grows thick, long and mats like you wouldn’t believe. At this point I’m the only one he’ll let trim him and and even with me he’s clearly hating every second of it. When my sister’s home she helps me by giving him treats while I trim but she lives on a different continent. I try to be as gentle and quick as possible, 15 minutes max at a time, and make sure to praise and give him lots of treats but goddamn. It’s so difficult and I hate stressing him so much even though it’s for his own good. :(
#he used to have a groomer (still hated every second) but the unfamiliar environment stresses him out even more#and because he’s old he needs lots of breaks bc he doesn’t have as much energy#he’s still happy and energetic and loves walkies but we know that it’s a matter of time before he starts having bad days#and we’ve talked to the vet and made preparations. I cry every time I think about it even though I know it’s normal and inevitable#sorry this got depressing so fast oh my god#cecil blogs her life
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#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment#wow#i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying#if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time#and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted#so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself#because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to#go in myself either way was way worse to me#because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to#''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever#and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in#and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed#although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous#but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this#that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...
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A very interesting cloud formation!
#I don't think I had ever really seen clouds like this before? it looks like a cool painting or something :0#Pulling just a few images from my cloud and sky photos folder which has like 650 pictures in it becvause I'm obsessed with the sky lol#I will usually spare everyone the cloudposting but... in some exceptions when it's really cool I must Share#(upcoming covid mention in tags for those avoiding the topic)#I WANT TO BE ON AN AIRPLANE SO SO BAD I am going to start casting evil spells to explode all these 'back to normal' bastards who are out#spreading virus and shit HHHHHH... Covid is NOT over actually contrary to popular beielf especially for people with health conditions#that make them more vulnerable or would have worse consequences if they were to catch it etc. etc. wearing a mask in public is#in MOSt cases not THAt much of a horrific terrible evil inconvenience and it helps keep everyone around you safer including these#vulnerable populations!!!! Even if I didn't have any problems myself I would STILL be masking because it's a small gesture that can make a#big difference in people around me being comfortable. It's not like people with health issues just never have to go out or go to the stor#or whatever. There are still people out there who could be helped by extra precautions that are being overlooked. grrrrr...#Like at this point since I'm vaccinated and everything I would MAYBE consider flying on an airplane IF everyone else around me#was masking and being just as careful as me. But at this point it's just the wild west and I would literally be the only one who gives#a shit or who gets tested freqeuntly before after and during traveling and wears the proper type of mask well fitting and not half off my f#ce and blah blah blah. And precautions work best when EVEYRONE is participating. There's only so much you can protext yourself if everyone#around you is doing nothing. So.. alas.. I still do not feel safe traveling. And probably won't for years until more progress is made in#terms of like understanding and treating certain long covid issues and etc. Since I think it's inevitable that if I start going out again#I would get covid. Me and my household bubble are some of the only people I know who haven't had it yet (or at least not knowingly so - if#so it was one of the asymptomatic cases etc.). So if I was GOING to get it anyway I'd at least like the assurance that whatever long term#issues I inevtabley suffer because of it will be more easily treatable at that point instead of entirely disabling even further than I'm#already disabled. etc. AAANYWAY!! all that to say. I JSUT REALLY WANT TO be on an airplane!!! I dont even like traveling and going places I#hate vacations and would rather be at home working on my projects I'm fixated on lol HOWEVER I love the view from airplane windows#like the very few times in my life Ive actually been on a plane and the window is so COLD when you lay your forehead on it and sometimes yo#even see little ice crystals and it's like you're just in a landscape of clouds with a sea of clouds above and below and aaaAAAAAA#Literally I want to get on a plane just to go up in the air and then land and fly back. I don't even want to go on a real trip. I just NEED#to see the sky I need to be IN the sky I need to have that VIEW and the cold and everything!!!! gRGGHGgg... And I will do that the entire#time. I think my longest plane ride was 7 hours and I do not watch movies. I dont text or play games. I literally do nothing to entertain#myself except stare straight out the window for 7 hours (with a few eating and bathroom breaks). not even joking lmao. It's like a trance#I LOVE the sky and clouds so much and the view you get from an airplane is like incomparable!! also I love airports with the big windows an#people watching. but mostly I just long for the sky view again. GRRR.. sobbing and yearning >:T
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Oops wandered into a thinspo blog by mistake and feeling triggered as hell, time to go play 12 hours of a video game instead so I don't undo months of recovery
#im actually soing really well on the recovery front#im physically like super unwell but i mostly have been eating normal and even my maladaptive shit#only sparks interpersonal conflict Sometimes#like im far from recovered#im terrified of everything and get startled by very small things but my emotions are less violitile and self destructive#than they hve been in years#I do still think im morphing into my father and suicide is inevitable but hey rome wasnt built in a day
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Ignore
#delete later#in typical birthday fashion i am now exhausted snd overwhelmed and battling a meltdown#i stubbed my toe and now cant put any fucking weight on it#im exhausted from performing appropriate birthday excitement. i dont think i understand birthdays correctly#to me the only relevance of ppls birthday is that i can show that i care about them and give gifts that make them happy or#spend time with them. other than that its just a day. in my head my birthday is just a day but it's a day rhat im expected to be#ecstatic over. i dont understand that. i spend the day worried im not feeling the correct feelings or displaying them right#and worried bc the normal day routine is broken and im anxious bc i don't know what will happen#too much uncertainty. abd rhat anxiety makes me feel guilty. but at the same time bc to me birthdays are avout showing the#person that you care. if everyone ignored it i would start to assume they dont care. idk how to fix my brain on this#at least its only once a year. plus the whole still being alive at 24 thing freaks me out. so when i inevitably have my#meltdown or shutdown it comes with not fun things#i get the same way at christmas except its slightly more socially acceptable for me to hide at christmas.#meltdowns make me angry abd emotional so i know im being a bitch in my head but logic is hard so im just upset and angry#and confused on how im supposed to feel and act. i fucking hate my brain.#i have ordered good comfort food abd have weighted blanket abd new piercing. life is okay#i dont want to see mu parents this weekend but it will be what it will be. im so fucking tired
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nothing is apolitical but the mechanisms of a story even when not punished are not necessarily indicative of the author's ideology. to not acknowledge the fallible author is ill-advised, but to assume you know the author is foolish. do you understand.
#if i write a story about a character who believes that murder is morally correct under any circumstance#(even if this character is never punished for this ideology)#that does not mean i'm endorsing it. it doesn't mean i believe this to be true it does not mean i would find this person sympathetic irl.#it means i think it's an interesting story.#but if i write a story about an ''average joe'' the person i write says a lot.#what is their gender? their sexuality? their race? what is their accent? where do they live? what job do they have? what is their house lik#am i writing an ''average person'' this way because this is actually my idea of an average person?#or am i writing them that way because that's what i think *your* idea of an average person is?#or am i writing them that way to say something about the idea of an ''average person''?#and no matter what my internal motivation is i will still inevitably have unchecked biases i have internalized#my idea of an ''average person'' is shaped by politics and my own personal life and the art i've experienced.#there are things so normalized to me as default that i don't think about them and that will be visible to anyone who isn't me#anyone with a different life or different political ideologies.#but you will never actually know what my intent is unless i actively say it.#anyway#not fandom
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Astarion refers to the other spawn he intends to create as his children and I personally HC it more like his consort spawn eventually plays the role of brood mother to whoever the favored "children" are for eternity. like they recreate a fucked up family unit. romanced player and the children have to compete for scraps while he spoils whoever his romance partner is. and the cruelty of it is that Astarion's consort has all the gifts to be in the sun, but Astarion now wants an eternal night for all of the children he intends to make (and force to live in the shadows).
#bat rambles#and like thats so poetic right?#he will burn down the world and make it so there ISNT anyone else beside Tav/Durge/Romance Partner in the world#just cattle and children cloaked in neverending darkness#also when i say poetic the entire thing is a tragedy#like it's so tragic to give tav/durge/his romance partner that gift to retain that part of their humanity#then make the world hospitable to normal spawn#i am team AA still remembers the budding love he felt but#it's a ghost of a memory and he thinks he's above all that now#but he will pretend to show love in small doses#just enough to keep them wanting more and keep them under his thumb#and the memory of what he felt corrupts with him as he shifts closer and closer to evil alignment and he becomes more and more possessive#and he does spoil tav/durge bc they'll always be his favorite#but it's more like they were the first pet and will always be the most beloved#but he does have other pets he is fond of but like#and like that love he felt for tav/durge made him feel too vulnerable so he has to make them feel so small#as small as he felt when he was cowering behind them#bc he won't ever let himself feel that small or let his edges feel that dulled again#it's about the corruption of the feeling for me#you sacrifice 7007 people to suffer in the hells for eternity#you're not gonna get off scott free#and i think the corruption of the love he feels - the love he used to manipulate tav/durge into helping him ascend - is like#just a tragic & poetic price to pay#bc it wasn't even inevitable bc he could have just ascended and not paid any price#but tav/durge/whoever was supposed to be his pillar and keep him grounded when he is tempted by his vampiric nature#bg3 headcanons#bg3#astarion#ascended astarion
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nintendos announced not only the first mainline game with daisy in it but shes also a playable character AND we’re getting a new super princess peach i just felt little child skye explode somewhere
#skye's ramblings#god i fuckin ADORED the ds super princess peach this rules ohhh my god!!!!!!!!! obsessed w the little partner creature they are cute <3#little skye was the BIGGEST peach fan for years. call me basic but looking back. shewas probably my first fictional crush#AND DAISY ILOVE DAISY YAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ive wanted mainline daisy for sooo long i will be playig as her if i get thegame <3#ive noticed recent iterations of daisy have been slightly more tan like theyre trying to backtrack on the whitewashing#which is good! but theyre being such cowards about it makw her brown again. now <3 also literaly any eye color besides blue wuold b nice#ANYWAY ALSO!!! new smrpg fuck yes. i have heard wonderful things abt that game but i gave up on it VERY early from the difficulty </3#so i hope this one'll be a little more accessible i was 16 when i tried it. thinking abt trying to play it as a kid is. oouugh#idk why i just gave up normally if i cant play a game or evenif the gameplays just not my style ill watch a playthrough. laziness i suppose#also no new papers mario im not surprised but getting a new announcement this year isnt totaly impossible so. smiles serenely#given the average gap between pm games we are most likely to get a new one sometime next year heheheheheheheheheheheheh#t/pn followers i apologize for the person i'll become whenever that happens <3 obsession is inevitable for anything involving that series#anywayay theres skyes awesome direct thoughts and m&l is still dead. alphadream come home
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