#incorrect myths

[mtolympusmemes]

Hermes: It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Athena: Who else was hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Aphrodite and Ares's convo? Hermes: Me. I was in the laundry basket. Artemis: I was in the washing machine. Apollo: I was in the closet. Hermes: Hey congrats for coming out man! <3 Apollo: No I was literally in the closet. Hermes: Love is love. <3

[mytholots]

Medea: look Jason, I'm not slut shaming you but...

Medea: Actually yeah, I'm TOTALLY slut shaming you.

[hemogoblin-art]

Gaia: Alright, I need you to swear-

Nyx: Fuck.

Gaia:

Gaia: Swear as in 'promise'...

[incorrectgreekgods]

Poseidon: I trust Zeus. Demeter: You think he knows what he's doing? Poseidon: I wouldn't go that far.

[silentprincessandsweethibiscus]

chapter three of the text chat side fic is posted, introducing two (and a half if you count a mention) new characters to the au!

[crazycatsiren]

Hermes: "It's almost Father's Day and I'm reminded of how father used to check my closet for monsters at night."

Artemis: "Father went to my first archery competition and he cheered the loudest of all there."

Athena: "Father gave me my owl and I love him so much!"

Apollo: "Father made sure I had my crow plushie tucked in with me at bedtime."

Dionysus: "Father let me try alcohol when I was five. He's my hero!"

[thedeathwitchescats]

If you work with/worship/are devoted to hades and are a staunch supporter of the homeric hymm to demeter, you believe that the only true version of the hades and persephone myth is that she was taken against her will, if you believe that that is absolute fact then I believe you are a disgusting waste of space. Not bc of pettiness, but bc at that point you are worshipping someone who you believe to be a pedophile, rapist and kidnapper. So fuck you. You can not fucking ignore THOUSANDS of years of myths that came before and after one fucking hymm, berate people for believing otherwise, and then fucking worship a pedophile. Fuck you. You are a waste of space.

[mytholympus]

Zeus: I heard you were talking bad about me.

Hera: Do you want to hear it again or did you get everything?

[sayangrafayel]

MC: Can you keep a secret?

Sylus: Do you know anything about my life?

MC: No I do not. Good point.

[inflamedautistic]

Achilles: Mom, I'm going out to kill Hector.

Thetis: Not dressed like that you aren't young man!

Achilles (now in the shining suit of armor forged by Hephaestus): Better?

Thetis: Yas Bitch slay!

[mtolympusmemes]

Odysseus: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Thanatos and Hades: *approach Sisyphus*

Thanatos: Are you Sisyphus?

Sisyphus: Depends who's asking.

Thanatos: We are.

Sisyphus: Who's we?

Thanatos: Depends who's asking.

Sisyphus: I am.

Thanatos: Who's I?

Sisyphus: Depends who's asking.

Thanatos: I am-

Hades: THANK YOU, Thanatos, you've been of immense help. Now I'll take it from here.

[mytholots]

Apollo: If I fall…

Surya: I’ll be there to catch you.

Lugh: *looks at Sol* What if I fall?

Sol: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.

Huitzilopochtli: *watches these two interactions*

Huitzilopochtli, to Ra: And if I fall?

Ra: I’ll be the one who pushed you.

[mer-acle]

Reality TV girls night on Olympus:

Artemis: Can we not watch a straight dating show for once?

Athena: Can we not watch a dating show for once?

Aphrodite: :(

Hestia: Girls, find something that you all like.

Athena: ...Dating but with stupid games in between is fine.

*they find a show to watch*

Hera: I swear if this fucker cheats on her I will flip the table.

Demeter: Oh gods they have children the poor babies :(

*The couple fails spectacularly at a stupid game and scream at each other*

Athena: That was so dumb I am so close to a war crime.

Aphrodite, crying: You are always close to a war crime!

Hestia: What's wrong, honey?

Aphrodite: They're terrible to each other! I want them to be healthy and in love!

Artemis: Like I'm saying, fucking men.

Hera, downing another glass of wine: You are so right.

Athena: To be fair, they are both absolutely useless.

Artemis: APOLLO I CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU!

*The door tumbles open and Apollo and Ares tumble in.*

Apollo: You never invite me for this stuff! I love Reality TV!

Ares: APHRODITE WHY ARE YOU CRYING, WHO HURT MY LOVE?

*Aphrodite points at the couple on screen*

*Ares smashes the screen*

Athena, massaging the bridge of her nose: Every fucking time.

[mytho-maniac-108]

Greek army: *breathes*

Nestor: Back in my day-