#incorrect myths

[mtolympusmemes]

Hermes: It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Athena: Who else was hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Aphrodite and Ares's convo? Hermes: Me. I was in the laundry basket. Artemis: I was in the washing machine. Apollo: I was in the closet. Hermes: Hey congrats for coming out man! <3 Apollo: No I was literally in the closet. Hermes: Love is love. <3

[mytholots]

Medea: look Jason, I'm not slut shaming you but...

Medea: Actually yeah, I'm TOTALLY slut shaming you.

[hemogoblin-art]

Gaia: Alright, I need you to swear-

Nyx: Fuck.

Gaia:

Gaia: Swear as in 'promise'...

[incorrectgreekgods]

Poseidon: I trust Zeus. Demeter: You think he knows what he's doing? Poseidon: I wouldn't go that far.

[silentprincessandsweethibiscus]

you guys should send me in some incorrect myths based prompts. i want to write some more silly little things before i get to the big lore bits i have planned out.

[crazycatsiren]

Hermes: "It's almost Father's Day and I'm reminded of how father used to check my closet for monsters at night."

Artemis: "Father went to my first archery competition and he cheered the loudest of all there."

Athena: "Father gave me my owl and I love him so much!"

Apollo: "Father made sure I had my crow plushie tucked in with me at bedtime."

Dionysus: "Father let me try alcohol when I was five. He's my hero!"

[thedeathwitchescats]

If you work with/worship/are devoted to hades and are a staunch supporter of the homeric hymm to demeter, you believe that the only true version of the hades and persephone myth is that she was taken against her will, if you believe that that is absolute fact then I believe you are a disgusting waste of space. Not bc of pettiness, but bc at that point you are worshipping someone who you believe to be a pedophile, rapist and kidnapper. So fuck you. You can not fucking ignore THOUSANDS of years of myths that came before and after one fucking hymm, berate people for believing otherwise, and then fucking worship a pedophile. Fuck you. You are a waste of space.

[sayangrafayel]

MC: Can you keep a secret?

Sylus: Do you know anything about my life?

MC: No I do not. Good point.

[mytholympus]

Zeus: I heard you were talking bad about me.

Hera: Do you want to hear it again or did you get everything?

[mer-acle]

Reality TV girls night on Olympus:

Artemis: Can we not watch a straight dating show for once?

Athena: Can we not watch a dating show for once?

Aphrodite: :(

Hestia: Girls, find something that you all like.

Athena: ...Dating but with stupid games in between is fine.

*they find a show to watch*

Hera: I swear if this fucker cheats on her I will flip the table.

Demeter: Oh gods they have children the poor babies :(

*The couple fails spectacularly at a stupid game and scream at each other*

Athena: That was so dumb I am so close to a war crime.

Aphrodite, crying: You are always close to a war crime!

Hestia: What's wrong, honey?

Aphrodite: They're terrible to each other! I want them to be healthy and in love!

Artemis: Like I'm saying, fucking men.

Hera, downing another glass of wine: You are so right.

Athena: To be fair, they are both absolutely useless.

Artemis: APOLLO I CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU!

*The door tumbles open and Apollo and Ares tumble in.*

Apollo: You never invite me for this stuff! I love Reality TV!

Ares: APHRODITE WHY ARE YOU CRYING, WHO HURT MY LOVE?

*Aphrodite points at the couple on screen*

*Ares smashes the screen*

Athena, massaging the bridge of her nose: Every fucking time.

[mtolympusmemes]

Odysseus: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Thanatos and Hades: *approach Sisyphus*

Thanatos: Are you Sisyphus?

Sisyphus: Depends who's asking.

Thanatos: We are.

Sisyphus: Who's we?

Thanatos: Depends who's asking.

Sisyphus: I am.

Thanatos: Who's I?

Sisyphus: Depends who's asking.

Thanatos: I am-

Hades: THANK YOU, Thanatos, you've been of immense help. Now I'll take it from here.

[mytholots]

Apollo: If I fall…

Surya: I’ll be there to catch you.

Lugh: *looks at Sol* What if I fall?

Sol: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.

Huitzilopochtli: *watches these two interactions*

Huitzilopochtli, to Ra: And if I fall?

Ra: I’ll be the one who pushed you.

[mytho-maniac-108]

Greek army: *breathes*

Nestor: Back in my day-

[sarnai4]

(Ares enters an area, staring at a flower in his hand.)

Athena: Why do you have that?

Ares: Aphrodite put this on my armor. I don't think it fits with the whole fearsome look I'm going for.

Athena (pausing): She might want you to give her one in return.

Ares: Weird. If she wanted a flower, she could've just kept this one. She does silly stuff sometimes. Yesterday, for instance, she said I looked hot. Of course I did. I'd been training the soldiers all day in the blazing sun. Helios won't just take a few days off.

Athena:...

Ares: Before then, she said she was cold, but it was still really warm out. I gave her my cloak and she looked disappointed for some reason.

Athena (starting to look worried)

Ares: Last week, she asked if I wanted to go back to her place, but I told her that Sparta was waaay closer.

Athena: Are you really going to make ME say this?

Ares: Say what?

Athena: I think she likes you.

Ares: I mean, I figured she wouldn't hang around so much if she hated me.

Athena: No, Ares, I mean I think she likes you...(gags) romantically.

Ares:...no, that can't be it. You know my reputation around here. She doesn't feel that way.

Athena: Haven't you noticed her trying to kiss you?

Ares (shocked): I thought she was making funny faces!

Athena: Well, this isn't my area, so I could be wrong. Go ask her.

(Ares runs off and returns.)

Athena: So...

Ares (panicking): She likes me!

Athena (awkwardly): Good for you I guess.

Ares (still panicking): What do I do now?!

Athena (also starting to panic): Why are you asking me?!

Ares: You're the goddess of wisdom!

Athena: Not romance!

Ares: I've never been on a date!

Athena: Me neither!

Ares (trying to calm down): Okay, okay. Here's a question you can answer. Would it be wise if I went to Aphrodite, pretending to ask for a friend--

Athena: Don't do that.

Ares: I could disguise myself as Dionysus instead.

Athena: This is a bad plan.

Ares: Or Hestia. That would really throw her off my scent.