#incorrect lesbian quotes

[eile24downtown]

Bellatrix: I like people the way I like my tea...

Bellatrix:...in a bag...

Bellatrix:.......under water.

[caseynovaksecretgf]

Mommy issues

[bisasterbuckley]

911 as text posts 25/?

[reguluslovesspelunking]

dorcas: hear me out, bio degradable sex toys

marlene: now that’s not a nice thing to say about men

[iheartgirlzn]

WHERE? trend with chb

“she uses you as bait in capture the flag!” percy: WHERE?!

“he’s emo!” will: WHERE?!

“they’re mean to you!” / “they have light hair!” leo: WHERE?!

“she—” piper: WHERE?!

“he went insane in the labyrinth!” / “she betrayed camp!” clarisse: WHERE?!

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Robin: You know, as a lesbian, I've never hit on a guy before.

Steve: *squints* Where is this going?

Robin: I'm just saying, what? Because I'm a lesbian I'm not allowed to hit on a guy.

Steve: *confused* No one's stopping you?

Robin: *checks her watch* Next guy that comes in.

Steve rolls his eyes. The bell above the store rang as Eddie walked through the door. Steve froze, and Robin grinned.

Steve: Oh, no.

Eddie walked towards Steve, but then Robin pushed her way in front of him.

Robin: *winks* Hey, pretty boy, you're talking to me today.

Eddie: Okay, what is this?

Robin: Your hair looks great. . . I kind of just want to sink my fingers into it. . . Pull on it in all the right ways. . .really make you scream. . .big boy.

Eddie: *panicking* Am I in the wrong universe?! Is today opposite day? What memo did I not get? Steve, Robin, did you actually manage to switch bodies, or is that still just a joke?

Robin: Are those new pants? They look good on you.

Eddie: *shrieks*

Robin: . . . They'd look better on Steve’s floor.

Steve: Robin!

Eddie: *sighs in relief* Thank God!

Steve: She's not wrong, though. You are a pretty boy, your hair looks great, and your pants definitely would look better on my floor.

Eddie: 😳

[emolionsrawr]

gerrard: buckley, what in the devils name are you doing?

buck, with a clipboard in hand: well, gerrard, i was going over everything in the firehouse and i noticed some things

gerrard: what is it buckley?

buck: well, you sir are in violation of the sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression discrimination act, over the past week i've noticed you refer to henretta wilson with slurs, very offensive slurs, as well as myself, due to this myself and mrs wilson have made note of each time you've done this, and reported it to our head HR representative, this here *hands gerrard a piece of paper* is a letter from the chief, requesting your presence for a meeting about your retirement

gerrard: you fucking fa-

bobby: i'd be careful if i was you gerrard, and get out of MY firehouse

gerrard: *screws up the paper and leaves*

chimney: see i told you all we needed to do was set clipboard buck on his ass

hen: look i know i'm a lesbian, but buck has never looked so good before

buck: i am the defender of lesbians!!

[redmoonbunnies]

I have no excuses for making this one.

[shamelessfaceless]

Y/n: Black widow almost bit me! 

Wanda: I don't want to hear about your and Natasha's sex life

Y/n: … 

Y/n: Black Widow. The spider. 

Wanda: OH..

...

Wanda: THERE'S A SPIDER AND WE ARE STILL HERE?

[hauntedbythenarrative]

Alicent shitposting pt. 38

[eile24downtown]

Yeah, just hold that thought😎

[thealienrumi]

[mothsaresc4ry]

After the Hyde attack

Wednesday: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds

Enid: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?

Wednesday:

Wednesday: No, I said four to five-

Enid: TOO LATE FOR THAT

[reignmaefall]

Dorcas: lying face down in Barty's bed complaining about Marlene

Pandora: lying face down on Evans bed complaining about Emmeline

Regulus: lying face down on his bed whining about James

Evan: *sitting on Barty's lap* gay people amiright

Barty: totally, anyway, mio bello*-

*my beautiful

[thecasualqueer]

Lena Luthor (PhD): *puts glasses on and looks in the mirror* Ahhh!!!! Who the fuck is that???

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie: Blow on my cigarette.

Steve: *visible confusion*

Eddie: I figured that you're definitely hot enough to light my cigarette.

Steve: *blushes* Oh! . . . *giggles and blows on his cigarette* Hmm, I guess I'm not hot enough.

Eddie: I beg to differ. . .it definitely lit me on fire.

Steve: Maybe I should blow -

Robin stormed out of the break room, the door slamming against the wall, startling both of them.

Robin: What did I tell you about smoking in here, Munson?! This is FAMILY Video.

Eddie: I wasn't going to actually smoke!

Robin: Bullshit!

Eddie: *mockingly* Well, if there isn't smoking allowed in FAMILY Video, then there shouldn't be cursing allowed in FAMILY Video.

Steve smiled fondly at Eddie and Robin. He was certain that in a past life, they had actually been born as siblings.

Steve: *giggles quietly* He thinks I'm hot.