#incorrect irish gods

[godsofhumanity]

Cu Chulainn: Just want to wish Ferdiad the most special, magical birthday ever. I love you with all my heart. Cu Chulainn: Also, happy birthday to my wife, Emer.

[atsushis-fangs]

Hamish: you see, none of these required an intervention, Killough's just a bitch North: okay, but consider, it was really funny

@winterwrites23

[valkyrthra]

ᚾ ᛁ ᚦ

Alright félagar, kynslóð, sveit & hverrfleiri, There seems to be some ósœmd, FUCKED up, comments going around the community. SHOCKING I know. Most seem to be anons.

-Side note, you at the AAA ( anon anonymous allegiance) you're fine, this is not about you.

I, Naki of @valkyrthra, declare a nið, challenge those who have been picking ᚾᛁᚦ apart my friends, family & community here on tumblr. A nið, in old Norse / Viking culture, was a declaration of a Flyting Senna. Let's see how good your knowledge is to pick a part people's knowledge of the Sagas, stories, lore & mythos fairs again me, since you seem so proud of your knowledge of the Norse Mythologies that you feel the need to come on to other's blogs & nitpick minor details. Details that you corrected that didn't needed correcting, factually, regardless of IF the muse was altered for someone's own universe that you have ZERO say in. You in the cases that I am aware of, you have been factually WRONG.

-Flyting for those who do not know. Flyting or fliting (Classical Gaelic: immarbág, Irish: iomarbháigh, lit. "counter-boasting") is a contest consisting of the exchange of insults between two parties, often conducted in verse. (Wiki) Or in other words a battle of wits & insults using poems. In other words, & this is NOT my words but still describes it pretty well, its a Viking Rap battle.

Okay by the rules flyting, I have declared a challenge, now to issue ᚠᛚᛁᛏᛁᛜ the terms. The rules of the dual are

That it has to be poetry done in HISTORICAL Viking metrical principles, but in English.

It has to rhyme at least every other half line.

Insults to each other are accepted & in the true spirit of flyting is encouraged.

You can keep your anon status, my anons will be off, but you will be considered dishonorable by Viking cultural rules. If you chose to stay on anons then I will be posting the responses. You may do the same.

We will each do one Ljóðaháttr (ᛚᛃᛟᚦᚨᚺᚨᛏᛏᚱ), song meter, consisting of two sets of 3 lines but the first two lines are half lines. Below is clippet of the Lokesanna from the Eddas as an example of what I am describing. Thorpe's Translation Lokesenna 1a.) Hail, Æsir! 1.b.) Hail, Asyniur! 2a.) And ye, all-holy gods! 2.b.) all, save that one man, 3a.) who sits within there, 3b.)Bragi, on yonder bench x2

Those are my terms, if you so accept.

Behold the Ergi anon, ᛖᚱᚷᛁ Speaking where they should not.

When this Sigyn's heritage is gone, An Asian faceclaim you for fought.

For all of this I hope you do not spawn, Passing on a fool's genes shouldn't be sought.

Next let me call out & fight, The supposed errors in spelling,

The name of the god of beauty & light, Being questioned is pretty telling.

To make yourself feel at your height, Every minor incorrect detail are you dwelling.

There WILL be more to come, with or without response from those that I challenged. That all being said....

COME AT ME!!!!!!

i'LL BE WAITING

Mutuals may interact & reblog. I want this to get back to whom it may concern. [Graphics & edits smithed by @galdrameistari & myself.]

[an-ruraiocht]

anyone else have people continuously make wildly incorrect assumptions about you because of your interests? for me as a queer medievalist, irish speaker, and folk musician, it's a) that people expect me to be interested in ttrpgs and i really really am not, and b) that they often think i'll be interested in more mystical/magical/superstitious things and i'm also really not that, i'm a deeply unmystical cynic who is at best vaguely agnostic towards a "cosmic force" kind of godconcept and doesn't vibe with personified god(s) of any variety

i do my best to be polite about both misinterpretations but boy sometimes people project their expectations onto you hard and by the time you've realised that they've fundamentally misunderstood your personality it can be pretty awkward to be like "i'm sorry but you have mistaken me for an entirely different genre of person"

[pomefioredove]

so yesterday I theorized that the fae in twst could be french, possibly breton inspiration, and was mercifully corrected by @tresgansosenunabrigo who actually knows things about french folklore unlike meee

we had a really good talk, which breathed life into a thought of mine about Briar Valley being parallel to ancient Irish mythology, that I had brushed off as insane months ago

some of the following is an old essay that I wrote, that I now find very very... um, incomplete at best, incorrect at worst. I've done my best to put out something more accurate, relevant, and interesting

but, for the sake of this essay: this is only for speculative purposes in the context of fiction. I am only drawing small parallels, and this is not a theory. I am not a teacher. I am not claiming to know everything. I'm just some guy who reads

a brief forward:

my credentials are "religious studies major" and not much else. I am not Irish, nor am I pagan, and my knowledge/study in Irish mythology is very secondary to Catholicism. I have been close to and spoken to a handful of experts within the field but am not one myself.

furthermore, I look to old/historical sources for knowledge, and reject eclectic and appropriative wiccan ideas. this has been a seven year long labor of love, but I'm still not perfect, and continue to sift through my sources every day. The misinformation that eclectics have created about Irish mythology have made way into books, into articles, into common belief, so it is, in fact very difficult not to internalize misinformation. I'm trying </3

and I am begging anyone in this field to correct any mistakes I make.

additionally I've only read a little bit of book 7 so I may be totally crazy. this is just a speculative piece, after all.

a glossary of knowledge:

for the purpose of this essay, I may use "fae" as an umbrella term, which includes pixies, medieval French fae, the aos sí, and the Tuatha de Danann*

*please note that the Tuatha de were gods in their original sources, but were changed to fairies, other supernatural beings, and occasionally kings in later Catholicized retellings.

I will be focusing most on ancient beliefs, with vague mentions of medieval/post-Catholicism ones. Catholicism is extremely important in the context of these stories, as it was the Catholic monks who preserved them in written form, and it's quite literally impossible not to mention. it's had a huge influence.

etc.

when talking about folklore, mythology, or religion, it's literally impossible to draw definite lines. it's why I hate when people say "well this religion stole this thing!" because religions intermingle, they share, they swap, they sometimes even meld with each other into something unique. ever-changing and different and the same. the Romans adopted their beliefs from the Greeks, and they shared gods with the Gauls, and then Christianity used the image of Jupiter as God. a big part of being a history major is understanding how to draw connections between cultures and peoples.

Admittedly, I am not familiar with the French idea of fae. I know that it is medieval. post-Christianity. it's a fairly loose term that denotes a "magical woman, skilled with words, herbs and stones" (via Wikipedia) and not much else. this is relevant to the Sleeping Beauty story, in which all the fairies are women. Maleficent's guards are not fairies, but ghouls (is that the right word?). I couldn't tell you the exact origin of French fairies, but it's not far-fetched to say they could have had "Celtic"* influence

*in reference to more than one culture in this context. scottish, manx, welsh, irish, etc

It is, perhaps, more important to add that French fairies are romantic figures in nature. very... fairy-tale esque. characters such as the fairy godmother and the good fairies in Perrault's version of Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty are good examples of this.

TWST fae... are... a little different. obviously. while it may be easy to simply argue that "it's twisted, so they're darker" or "Briar Valley is based off Maleficent's domain so of course it's dark", it's implied (and shown!) that good entities come from Briar Valley, too. pixies exist in TWST, for example. then there are the good fairies from Sleeping Beauty, which have to exist alongside Maleficent in the canon of TWST. The fae here are layered, much more so than in their sources.

This is where I start seeing shit.

war, weapons, and invasion

When speculating on the influence of French folklore in Briar Valley, I was told that "war" is a rather uncommon thing in their stories. Invasion is, of course, an imperative theme in Briar Valley history, in Lilia's background, and in book 7 as a whole. So. I get thinking.

The war between the fae and the humans carries significant parallels to the war between the Tuatha de Danann and the humans in the Lebor Gabála Érenn, the Book of Invasions, wherein the "fae" and the humans warred over land and resources until the former were driven out of Ireland and the humans became the ancestors of the modern Irish. And by "parallels" I mean this exact thing happens. THE EXACT THING. The Book of Invasions was literally the first thing I thought about when in Lilia's dream.

War is, of course, a recurring theme in Irish mythology. Ná Morríghan is associated with war, there's that entire book of invasions, like, anything about Cú Chulainn, etc.

I also, very quickly, want to draw a comparison between Lilia's magearm and the four treasures of the Tuatha de Danann, which are described in literature such as the Lebor Gabála and Cath Maige Tuired (iirc). magical weaponry is a fairly common motif in various Celtic mythologies. in Irish mythology, it's the Spear of Lugh, and various swords, clubs, etc. The magearm just struck the same chord for me.

nature

I fear this is about to get very ~ohooo magical pagan connection to nature!~ please bear with me.

The mythology of Ireland is very, very, very tied to the land. You can still see this today, actually. Various natural formations- hills, islands, etc- have mythological names. Much like Olympus in Greek mythology, places mentioned in Irish mythological sources have real-world counterparts, such as Tech Duinn, the House of the Dead, being Bull Rock- a tiny island off the coast of Cork (cool post about that and the ancient Irish belief in death here). Trees had important religious, cultural, and linguistic (see: Ogham) connotations. Many of the Tuatha de had animalistic attributes and associations, such as Morríghan and crows. Even more were associated with fertility and agriculture, which was kind of a big deal. Symbols that which represent fertility, are rather common motifs (such as the Lia Fáil on the Hill of Tara, which I've read is theorized to be phallic).

That's not even mentioning the oceans, the cliffs, the forests, or the sidhe (a "fairy mounds", manmade or natural features that connect our world to the otherworld of Irish mythology).

At multiple points in Lilia's dream do we hear the fae talk about how important nature is to fae. I am unsure if this strong love for land is a theme in French folklore.

I also want to briefly point out that, in reputable sources, the "Celtic" day began at sunset. Darkness- night, winter, cold- were important to the ancient Irish, both in culture and in mythology. It's probable that their "New Year" began at Samhain (soh-wen), the holiday that celebrated the beginning of winter, to put it briefly. Here's a discussion post about this (and I sent this ask!!!!)

I just find the significance of darkness and night to hold some ground with the concept of "nocturnal fae" in TWST. "Night's blessing's", they say.

form

I also want to add, very quickly, that there are multiple different iterations of "fairies" in Irish mythology and folklore. The Tuatha de resemble humans. The modern aos sí are more mystical. The Fomorians (whom are or are not fairies, depending on who you ask?) are described as more animalistic and monstrous. The nature of fae in TWST is unclear, but they read, to me, as human-like with different abilities, different physical attributes, and a different connection to land and nature. Which is, in form, similar enough to the "fae" of Irish (and other Celtic) folklore.

Lilia

Head in hands. Shall we talk about the importance of the paternal figure in Irish mythology. I feel I have to.

I really really hate saying the word "fertility" so much because I start sounding like a Wiccan, I promise I'm going somewhere with this.

In the Nature segment, I briefly touched on the importance of fertility and the phallic symbol. I know that usually, when talking about ~fertility~ in reference to paganism, people are talking women/goddesses, but throughout my readings of Irish mythology, I've found that male fertility is just as important. More specifically, fatherhood. I, unfortunately, couldn't find much input on this, but I think it's safe to say that The Dagda, for example, is considered an important father figure and is associated with fatherhood.

It's just important.

Head in hands again. Now let's talk about fostering. Fosterage was, by most sources, a really big thing in ancient Ireland. Raising someone else's child, including that of your enemy, was not only acceptable, not only common, but traditional. And the themes of fosterage exist in the mythos, too- in Tóraigheacht Dhiarmada agus Ghráinne, the demi-god Diarmuid was fostered by Aengus Og. Aengus Og was also fostered. Fosterage is a theme in Cú Chulainn's story, so on and so forth. The gods/fae/etc foster humans, they foster demi-gods, they foster other gods.

I wanted to mention both of these as important themes in both Irish mythology and Lilia's story because like. come onnn lol.

And One More Thing!!!

This isn't super relevant to this essay, I just like to bring it up: Lilia is vampiric? Well, there's vampires in Irish folklore (or close enough, anyway. the link gives a few different versions of the story and their origins). Some think that Abhartach was actually the true inspiration behind Bram Stoker's Dracula. I don't know how much credibility this theory has, I've read a few essays on it. I just think this is fun.

Silver

Much of what I said in Lilia could be said here, too. All I really want to bring up is the symbolism of acorns. I've mentioned that certain trees had mythological connections, and the oak tree was. Um. A big one. It's a recurring theme, past, and present. Even the "Celtic Tree of Life" is an oak. I don't know, it's just important.

I could also draw some pretty stark comparisons between the story of Fionn mac Cumhaill, a heroic figure in Irish Mythology, and Silver, but that would be a bit much.

Sebek

Half-god and half-human heroes, fae, whatever etc are very much present and important in Irish mythology. That's all I can think of for now.

Malleus

I suppose I could, if I tried very hard, find something to say about Malleus, but this is where the ~medieval Europe~ starts to seep in. I am unaware of any dragons or dragonlike creatures in Irish, or other Celtic, myth.

Nobility is, however, a major theme in Irish mythology. There are many rules, there are laws, there are gods and goddesses of sovereignty, it's huge, and sort of parallels Diasomnia's structure, in a strange way. I'd need to know how their housewarden is chosen, lmao.

conclusion

Do I think the TWST writers have an intimate knowledge of ancient Irish mythology and are purposefully making allusions to drive me insane specifically? no. obviously not. is it possible that these myths have influenced the general idea of fae, and thus were included in the writing process unconsciously? yes. absolutely!

Ultimately, this is more of a thought exercise and an analysis than a theory. Take it as you will.

so on and so forth.

[hailmaryfullofgrace55675]

“Ashkenazi Jews don’t actually have Levantine genetic ancestry” has been floating around lately among naïve and conspiracy minded anti-Zionists, a problematic claim that undermines actually correct anti-Zionist principles and defense of Palestinian rights. This claim is

absolutely irrelevant, as “blood” originating on the “soil” does not grant anyone any right to an ethnostate on any land. Using area-native ethnicity to justify discrimination and mass killing is bad when it’s Yamato Japanese discriminating against Korean, Mainland Chinese, and Taiwanese minorities in Japan and it’s bad when it’s Celtic-Germanic descent Brits oppressing Celtic-Germanic descent Irish who they’re genetically undifferentiatable from. It was bad when it was Hutus killing Tutsis and it was bad when it was the Khmer Rouge killing Chinese and Vietnamese Cambodians. The actions of the Israeli state in immiserating and slaughtering non-Jewish Palestinians would be equally harmful and wrong if the diaspora had never happened and every Israeli could trace their resident lineage in an unbroken line back to the time of the Second Temple, because it is bad to destroy people’s homes, burn their crops, imprison them, and kill them.

incorrect, at least according to current scientific consensus. Most genetic studies seem to indicate that Ashkenazim are of majority European descent and also have ancestry in the Levant, that is: the Ashkenazi population had some Levantine founders and there’s been significant amounts of intermarriage over the hundreds and hundreds of years of the diaspora into Southern Europe and from there across Central and Eastern Europe.

irrelevant again because even if, through a combination of conversions, adoptions, intermarriage, and adulterous and out of wedlock pairings between Jews and local gentiles, the diasporic European Jewish population had become completely genetically indistinguishable from local gentiles, those Jews would still have been the children of Israel. They still would have learned to read the Torah and celebrate its festivals. They still would have learned, from their families and communities in an unbroken line, to pray “Sh’ma Yisrael, Adonai eloheinu, Adonai echad” (Hear, Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one) as the rabbinic sages of Roman Judea observed in the Talmud that they were commanded to do. They still would have spoken languages with Hebrew and Aramaic elements, and they still would have written them with letters recognizable in the Dead Sea Scrolls. They still would have had the same interests, affirmed daily and yearly, in the land that their people left so many hundreds of years ago.

One formulation of the claim is “Israel bans direct to consumer genetic testing because it shows that (Ashkenazi) Jews don’t have Middle Eastern ancestry”. The Israeli government does ban DTC genetic testing as part of a genetic information privacy and nondiscrimination law passed in 2000, before companies like 23andMe existed. DNA testing for ancestry can be interpreted and presented many ways, and the ancestry breakdowns given by DTC GT companies just do not correspond to the question “where, how, and through what migrations did this population originate?”.

Once again, Zionism is not bad because people residing in places their ancestors are not from is bad. That is fine. Zionism is bad because from its beginning the Zionist project has been one of violent dispossession and because that violent dispossession continues in and through this very present moment.

[sierrawitch]

Heritage & Acculturation in My Celtic Practice

by autumn sierra

I think it’s important to first address the differences between cultural appropriation, cultural appreciation, and acculturation…

Appropriation, Appreciation, and Acculturation

Cultural appropriation is the stereotypical oversimplification and inappropriate exploitation of customs, practices and ideas of someone of one culture toward a different culture. This term is rife throughout the online community, and even in daily vocabulary, with the understanding that cultural representation portrayed slightly incorrect or deemed inappropriate by one person/group is “cultural appropriation”. This is not accurate. If there is proof of blatant disrespect toward traditions and customs by way of exploitation, that is—indeed—appropriation.

However, cultural appreciation is the exploration of different customs, practices and ideas in order to understand, learn, and broaden perspective cross-culturally. Oftentimes this can be misunderstood as appropriation—why, I’m not sure—but is genuinely rooted in good intention, a love for discovery, and a desire to connect with others.

Appreciation can sometimes lead to acculturation (the main idea of this dialogue)—the process of cultural exchange that occurs when two or more cultures maintain continuous interaction. The result of this may be the adoption, modification, or incorporation of elements of another culture (also can be mistaken for appropriation).

Culture is meant to be shared, and it shocks me that this is not the mainstream thought process of our modern world. There are absolutely some things that are purposefully made inaccessible to certain groups (temples, religious rites, etc), but this is not the norm. Consider clothing, food, and holidays (with minor exception).

Heritage & Acculturation in My Life

Acculturation is an important aspect of my folk practice. But to begin, let’s focus on heritage.

I was born into a culturally rich family. The blood of many different peoples runs through my veins. That being the case, there were only 2 major cultures at the forefront of my childhood upbringing: Italian and Scots-Irish. My daily life consisted of Italian customs and traditions heavily incorporating familial fellowship, while many special occasions like holidays and other significant events were extremely Celt-oriented.

Considering I never had the same immersion into my Celtic heritage on a daily basis, I felt strongly drawn to it when I began my folk magic journey. And so, here we are!

But, Scottish folk traditions are not the only significant aspect of my practice. As a teenager, I also felt drawn to Japanese culture and specific customs that were wildly different from the ones I’d grown up knowing.

Over the years, I’ve studied, experienced and integrated Japanese culture into my life through acculturation. I’m very active in community festivals, I play traditional Japanese instruments, speak the language, enjoy the food (IMMENSELY), and maintain Japanese customs in my originally Euro-centric daily life. With my extended family also being Japanese, I would say that I’ve assimilated to the lifestyle while also staying rooted in my heritage.

Acculturation in My Practice

I’ve studied the old gods of Shinto tradition, as well as the teachings of Zen Buddhism. Religious practice has never sat well with me due to my upbringing in a religiously Abrahamic household. So, I focus less on the gods and more on the spirits (though some might consider Shinto gods and Shinto spirits similar).

Japan has a unique perspective on animism that is ingrained in the cultural lifestyle and separated from most modern [Western] ideals. Shrines of varying size litter the country in all different areas, venerating spirits of the land, the dead, and the divine.

During my most recent trip abroad, I went on a brief—but rewarding—shrine pilgrimage in the Kansai region. The land was old, and even older were the spirits that reside there. Visiting each location rekindled a connection with the ancient spiritual and magical practices that I’d written about in my university thesis.

Upon returning home, I reflected again on my Celtic path and how my deep connection with the Japanese culture affects my daily life, but not my practice. I wondered why that was. Perhaps it was because I’d made up my mind to pursue reconstructionism, and wanted to dedicate every aspect of my practice to reviving the old Celtic ways. But, I excluded a very significant part of myself by doing this.

To try to integrate Japanese culture into my practice, I identified similarities between the two’s animistic beliefs and incorporated Japanese shrine customs into my personal working space. These may seem like unnoticeable changes at a glance, but since these changes, my Celtic practice has become even more deeply connected to me.

Whenever I call upon the spirits, I cleanse myself, present an offering of each element, specially selected items, or food and drink, ring my bell and clap twice. The space comes alive at that time, and I commune as needed.

There are many small, seemingly insignificant aspects of cultural tradition that you can adopt into your daily routine/practice and enrich your life. My life is made up of pieces from Celtic, Italian, and Japanese culture. It may seem a bit haphazard, but each person has an amalgamation of culture that suits their individuality just fine. And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

[kaizey]

The number of americans and non-gaelic speakers saying that its either over-reaction at how many of us are taken aback by this, or feel "vindicated" that their pronounciation was right all along, just know; This has now overtaken the actual, irish and scottish gaelic pronounciation resources

This is not over-reacting, its a legitamite justified response to another example of some american cunt team deciding that instead of being faithful to a culture a media is borrowing from and exposing new people to it, they bastardise a term, and now, god knows how many people are going think the mispronounciation is real, and will feel justified in future ignorance when exposed to our languages

The original japanese is actually accurate. Thisis literally just another case of yankee localisers deciding to fuck with another aspect of gaelic folklore and language to be palatable for monolglots and anglophones. This is another small thing in the pile of small things thats made Gaelic of any variety viewed as either a joke, "broken" english or just gibberish by outsiders. When so many of us who speak our mother tongue have to constantly deal with yanks and brits boosting incorrect info and whitewashing actual aspects of our folklore that people might actually find interesting

Its "Kat-shee", or "Ke-at-shee"

Ar son Dé. Le do thoil. Stop é seo a dhéanamh.

[folcanta]

Folken's title in Japanese is gunshi, 軍師, a word/role translating to strategist or tactician, particularly of warfare. In subs/dubs, his title strategos is Greek, "army leader/general," which, through Latinised strategus arrives at the English strategist, French stratègiste, Italian stratego, Spanish/Portuguese estratego. I figure it's the English translation's way of burying the lede on the whole Atlantis thing.

And, given how Escaflowne views Europe, potentially signal the western world's obsession with the neoclassical... since that's Dornkirk's whole deal. His view of the future comes through a romanticised, mythologised ideal past, much like any fascist. The real enlightenment of the series comes through accepting the reality and responsibilities of the present, on which a future may be built, honestly, openly, communally.

Aaaanyway. I stumbled upon the given name Bólkōn in a Greek-Spanish dictionary;

Βόλκων, -ωνος, ὁ Bolcón estratego siracusano en 452 a.C

For my own writing (and fun) one of the things I pay attention to is the transformation of sounds/letters over time or between regions, and the way sounds are transcribed/transliterated into languages that don't share them. Using J/Y when translating Й, for example.

G/Q/K is a big one when trying to translate Arabic into English. K is often approximated for the hard g, and the Arabic q sound, low in the throat, doesn't appear in English, so either of the other two letters may tag in.

When it comes to V/B/P/PH/F, very few languages have historically employed all of them because they're incredibly similar to one another. V pronounced as B in Spanish attests to this— in Medieval Spanish there was no conventional orthography and they'd switch places randomly. There was also no V or K or Q in Irish prior to colonisation— our V equivalent is mh/bh, V is present only in loanwords. Irish C is always hard (but has broad or slender pronunciation) negating the need for K.

A name like "Van" or "Folken" is using sounds without 1:1 parallels, so you may see it written as "Ban" or "Paan" or even as different as "Volkern." In these cases, there's usually an agreed-upon romanisation to maintain continuity, but when it comes to languages that use completely different alphabets for sounds not present or accounted for in English, it's rounding up to what's closest. Not "incorrect" so much as "not consensus."

[φ] represented a separate sound from f, and [β] a sound separate from v, but this is what they've come to represent in modern Greek. one semi-relevant example (to me) is φανάριον, fanarion, and φαναρίου, fanariu, which means light/torch/lantern and is a diminutive of the word phanos, meaning bright/shining/resplendent.

in Latin,

That type of research is exactly the sort which lead me to this

Mercury

Hey, remember how Zaibach is likely named for the Arabic for Mercury, al-ziybach? Remember how their mechs are full of liquid silver?

sources: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

Mercury the element is named after Mercury the planet, which is in turn named after the Roman god of financial gain, commerce, eloquence, messages, communication including divination, travelers, boundaries, luck, trickery, and thieves; he also serves as the guide of souls to the underworld, a mediator between the realm of the dead and kingdom of the living. Let's see how he interacts with other gods...

Finally Mercury was sent to Vulcan, primed with a most diplomatic request to honor high Olympus with his presence; but all Mercury’s eloquence and persuasions failed to induce the god of the forge to leave his sooty abode, and the messenger god was forced to return alone and report the failure of his attempt.

Vulcan, son of Jupiter and Juno, god of fire and the forge, seldom joined the general council of the gods. He had once been tenderly attached to his mother, lavished upon her every proof of his affection, and had even tried to console her when she mourned Jupiter’s neglect. On one occasion, intending to punish Juno, Jupiter hung her out of heaven, bound by a golden chain; and Vulcan, seeing her plight, tugged at the chain, drew her up, and was about to set her free, when Jupiter returned, and, in anger at his son’s interference, kicked him out of heaven.

Although Vulcan had risked so much and suffered so greatly in taking his mother’s part, she never even made the slightest attempt to ascertain whether he had reached the earth in safety. Hurt by her indifference and ingratitude, Vulcan vowed never again to return to Olympus, and withdrew to the solitudes of Mount Ætna.

Vulcan is primarily associated with fire, metallurgy, and craftsmanship. He was believed to have created the strongest and most sophisticated items of ancient lore, including Jupiter’s lightning bolts and Mercury’s winged helm. Additionally, he is linked to volcanoes, emphasizing his connection to both destructive and creative aspects of fire.

Roman tradition maintained that vulcan is connected to lightning (fulgur, fulgere, fulmen), which in turn was thought of as related to flames. Others interpret it as meaning lustre.

Damn, that's rough. But what the hell am I doing— that's not especially related, is it? So let's move on.

You know, there's something really interesting about the planet Mercury. This might be a little convoluted, but bear with me...

Newton's Law gave the wrong prediction for the precession of the perihelion of Mercury's orbit. Mercury's orbit is elliptical, as predicted by the Newtonian theory of gravity, but the ellipse doesn't stay in precisely the same place all the time. Its perihelion (the point in orbit at which a body is closest to the sun) should, according to Newtonian laws of gravitation, advance by 531 arcseconds per century. In the nineteenth century, however, it was observed that the actual advance is 574.

This is because Mercury, being the closest planet, has its orbit most affected by the warping of spacetime near the Sun.

Hey, that's pretty crazy!

Does anyone remember which tarot card Folken represented in the deck which was released with the film?

Gimme one second, I'll go check...

#01 — The Magician. Is that the card that represents new beginnings, psychic powers, and the manifestation of human will? Yes it is! What else is it associated with?

The Magician card is numbered One – the number of new beginnings and opportunities – and associates with the planet of Mercury, symbolizing intelligence, communication, and skillful use of resources.

Ahhhh... okay then.

Well, look. Tarot doesn't really mean anything to me personally. I do like astronomy though! Remember from earlier about how Mercury acts weird?

Vulcan (/ˈvʌlkən/) was a proposed planet that some pre-20th century astronomers thought existed in an orbit between Mercury and the Sun, responsible for the then-unexplainable shifts in Mercury's orbit.

Hmm.

[tawked]

I like that ROTTMNT April O'Neil shouts her name all the time for very specific, probably diagnosable reasons.

So, an obvious sub-dialogue in the "was April O'Neil intended to be black?" discourse has always been racist older fans essentially attempting to wield vague authorial intent to say that she can't be black. You know how they are whenever a "raceswapping" occurs.

This has apparently been going on since 1986. I wasn't alive in 1986, but I've fucked men who were, and they whisper to me forbidden secrets of early fanzines, conventions Q&As, and the primitive internet. The version of this narrative I've always heard, and that you can see by just googling about it now because motherfuckers are still on this bullshit in 2025, is that the kind of people for whom April O'Neil's whiteness mattered deeply were the kind of people for whom whiteness matters deeply. Which is a shocking bit of detective work, I know, but stick with me here.

So! 1986. Fans who had up to that point read April as black (which implies she could be read as black, doesn't it?) alleged whitewashing because now, well, she was very light-skinned. Other fans disagreed, insisting she was always white. Normal "she was always white" people were like, "but I can see her being black, that's cool!" and shut the fuck up. Abnormal "she was always white" fans treated this as their line in the sand. Not one black character who isn't Evil Lucius Fox may cross.

The thing is, when a character is put into a position of being read potentially as white or black, the bulk of fans, especially fans in the 80s, especially fans in historically quite racist communities like the people for whom images like this

X-Men, "God Loves Man Kills."

have always been comfortably apolitical, will always default by majority to that character being white. Because they have the numbers and the volume to shout down fans who disagree, and continue to do so to this day. Bro, again, motherfuckers are still on this bullshit in 2025. And because those fans outnumber fans of the black reading, for reasons like the above image being a norm, that default of whiteness ends up reinforced.

In the April O'Neil discourse specifically, the name "O'Neil" has always been wielded like a sledgehammer. She can't be black. O'Neil is an Irish name. Irish people are white. Therefore, if we are preserving the creative vision of Eastman (based her design on his black girlfriend) and Laird (claimed, when he wasn't bitching about Eastman, that he always considered her Asian), she should be white. Making her black, this character who has historically been read as both and was shouted into whiteness after she was made adaptationally definitely white, would be incorrect, it'd be raceswapping.

Her name is O'Neil. O'Neil is an Irish name. Irish people are white. Her name is O'Neil. O'Neil is an Irish name. Irish people are white. Her name is O'Neil. O'Neil is an Irish name. Irish people are white.

On and on like this since 1986, man. Completely missing the point that when we insist on whiteness to reject a black reading, we're reinforcing whiteness as some kind of default.

Anyway!

Bam. She's black now. Her name is O'Neil and it doesn't fucking matter. She's going to announce it constantly, while being black.

Finally, these people have had to shut the fuck up about O'Neil being an Irish name, because here's a black character who just is named O'Neil, as a whole lotta black people are.

Even if ROTTMNT sucked, which it doesn't, I would love it for ending a very specific frustrating fan discourse line that has haunted me since I was a baby boy on the baby boy internet.

[sage-n-sorrow]

Introduction.

This serves as my sort-of-official introduction and information post.

I am Nesryn, a queer person who decided my spiritual journey deserves its own blog.

What do I follow? Well, I wish I knew myself — if we're honest with eachother, my dear stranger on the Internet.

I do know that I follow old gods of many practices. I follow the old gods of Irish descent to respect my heritage, I follow the old gods of Kemet for my own beliefs, Hellenic practices due to the crossed history between that and Kemetic history, some Hindu and Bhuddist practices (within what I am allowed/can do respectfully as a white irish-american), and I follow (and am baptized/confirmed) in the Episcopalian church — following a folk-anglo-catholic version of this.

The name for this? Please if you have an idea — offer it up. I haven't found one.

Tags? Tags I will feature for you to use to navigate my blog are as follows:

#nesrynrants - rants

#nesrynspiritual - spiritual chats

#nesrynirish - Irish posts

#nesrynxian - Christian posts

#nesrynhellenic - Hellenic posts

#nesrynkemet - Kemetic posts

#nesrynist - Hindu or Bhuddist posts

#nesrynetc - other posts, or knowledge posts

#nesrynlife - posts regarding my life

Now we get into the personal aspect, my friends. Following will speak of: my age, my life thusfar, and my expectations for those on my page. This will all fall below the cut.

How old are you, Nesryn? Contrary to popular belief (at least in other spaces and irl) I am only 19 years of age. My birthday is March 2nd, and I am a Pisces if it matters.

Nesryn, you seem so wise! (At least I hope you're saying this) Thank you! That stems from trauma that sprays wildly from every crevice of my being — domestic, religious, you name it. I was forced to become mature at a very early age, and it's stuck with me. I've been studying my religion for nearly a decade now — and have finally found comfort within it.

My experience with religion? I grew up in a household that didn't go to church often, but I was placed in youth groups and summer camps — and often went on trips meant for Christian youth. During this time, I never understood the 'hype' of it all — nor why bad things happened to good people despite God being so righteous and merciful. I only began attending church when I escaped an abusive relationship with a man much older than myself who had been abusing me for 5 years. At the time, I had no idea there were options aside from protestant and Catholic. I attended Mass every Sunday, and prayed every morning and night.

When I met my Fiancé, I called myself Catholic. He had trauma within the church, yet accepted me anyway as someone to love. When I found Episcopalianism — I felt seen, yet it still felt... Incorrect. I was baptized in the church, but had found that I was able to practice other religions as well. I was on a long journey, I'd been about every religion under the sun; just because only one never felt right. Satanist, luciferian, attempting to convert to Judaism, Catholic RICA (unfinished), Islam, etc.

I began to practice what I do now — and I have never felt more comforted and serene.

Now the expectations of those on my blog. If you follow me: expect to see/hear things about my practice, my trauma (with warning), my spiritual life, the current state of the world, and my research as a cultural (and religious) future anthropologist. I will not tolerate any sort of homophobia (or any generalized -phobia), any sort of generalized -ism, those against queer folk in Christian spaces, and in general those here to spread hate.

I am willing to learn from any mistakes, willing to debate and discuss (without arguing), and willing to listen and learn from other perspectives — but I do block at will, with no warning needed. This is my space, and I will use it as I please (within Tumblr TOS).

[thrawns-babygirl]

Since we confirmed I can send asks still let me tell you this very urgent and important info:

Hux is the lowest grade of man what the fuck Piper have some god damn standards you whore

What the actual fuck jack!? Wrong. Absolutely incorrect. I have never had someone so loudly incorrect in my asks before. This man? This man right here?

Highest kill count in the entire franchise. Alderaan? Try the entire Hosnian system. In terms of sexy war criminals he's the most war criminal of all of them. He's got daddy issues, a chip on his shoulder and sexy red hair. He had potential as a character that the writers WASTED!

Hes a sopping wet meow meow. He's babygirl. He's truly one of the most evil, damaged blorbos the entire franchise has to offer.

AND

Domhnall Gleeson is Irish and sexy as hell.

[detective-inspector-her]

Incorrect Quotes Based Of This Au Because I'm Finally Writing About It -_-

Darquesse: I am strong! I beat Skulduggery at arm wrestling! Valkyrie: Anyone can beat Skulduggery at arm wrestling! Skulduggery: Hey-

Skulduggery: Met a dumbass today. Awful. Darquesse: You looked in a mirror? Skulduggery: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.

Skulduggery: Why don’t you go talk to them? Valkyrie, sarcastically: Oh. Yeah, sure. Skulduggery: What? So you go tell them they’re cute, what’s the worst that could happen? Valkyrie: They could hear me.

Valkyrie: Can we talk? One 10 to another? Darquesse: I’m an 11, but continue.

Darquesse: What is your favourite mythical story? Skulduggery: The Story Of My Will To Live. Darquesse: I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before.

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, you’re in charge! Darquesse: Valkyrie, can we start a fire?

Darquesse: All of your existences are confusing. Valkyrie and Skulduggery: How so? Darquesse: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

Darquesse: Well, you know what they say: Can’t bake a pie without losing a dozen men!

Valkyrie: Darquesse, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement- Darquesse: Aww, thanks- Valkyrie: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

Skulduggery: Nothing feels better than winning Monopoly. Not love, not sex, not free pizza, nothing! Valkyrie: I’m sorry, have you tried pizza? Skulduggery (Has Valkyrie's Tastebuds): Yes, and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friend’s eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate. Darquesse: I like you.

Darquesse: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Valkyrie: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Darquesse: … Darquesse: You mean ring bearER, right? Valkyrie: … Darquesse: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to Tanith and Ghastly's wedding.

Valkyrie: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

Skulduggery: Darquesse is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in her entire life! Valkyrie: Never done anything wrong?! She set a city block on FIRE!

Valkyrie: Go big or go home! Skulduggery: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home. Valkyrie: I'm going big!

Skulduggery: I’m not mad, I just need to know why you two had a fake ID. Valkyrie: Incoherent mumbling Skulduggery: Huh? Darquesse: …You need to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.

Darquesse: Have you done this before? Valkyrie: Well, Darquesse, it's like if you read the script you come better prepared. Skulduggery: That's not what they do in the US, they don't read things. Darquesse: I don't read, Valkyrie. Valkyrie: You're Irish!?

Skulduggery: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

Valkyrie: You know what I asked Santa for Christmas this year? Skulduggery: If you say me, I swear I’ll— Valkyrie: You? What? No, I asked him for that cool Ninjago Lego set we saw in Target!

Valkyrie: English is CRAZY. Oregano is both a spaghetti leaf topping and a form of paper art! Skulduggery: What is this "paper art" you speak of? Valkyrie: That shit where you make cranes and stuff out of folded paper! Skulduggery: … Valkyrie.

Valkyrie: Nice rock. Skulduggery: Thanks, Darquesse gave it to me. Darquesse: I threw it at you! Skulduggery: Isn't she the sweetest?

Darquesse: I dropped Valkyrie. Skulduggery: Darquesse, what the fuck.

Skulduggery: If you want my advice- Valkyrie: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times. Skulduggery: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they’ve also tried to kill me. Darquesse: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.

Darquesse: Why won’t you all just lie down and die with dignity?! Skulduggery: We don’t do anything with dignity!

Darquesse, texting: O Valkyrie: What? Darquesse: Don’t read into that. Valkyrie: But I will read into that. Darquesse: HOW?! IT’S A LETTER! Valkyrie: Why is there a space after it, hmmmmm? Darquesse: Dude, really? Darquesse: It’s a fucking letter. Valkyrie: It could stand for something! Darquesse: IT DOESN’T, I PROMISE! Valkyrie: Like Oppression! Or worse… Darquesse: Dude, I just typed the letter O, that means nothing. :/ Valkyrie: Optometrist. Darquesse: Oh my God…

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Valkyrie, wearing a suit jacket that's 2 times bigger than her size: Spooky.

Skulduggery: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name? Darquesse: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though… I don't know. Skulduggery: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, Darquesse, I’ve left a letter telling your guardians not to worry— Valkyrie: They won’t. Skulduggery: That you’re safe— Valkyrie: That’ll just depress them. Skulduggery: —and you’ll see them in a few weeks. Darquesse: Do we have to?

Skulduggery: What language do they speak at the center of the earth? Skulduggery: Core-ean Valkyrie: The center of the earth is arond 5430 degrees Celsius! Nobody is going to live there so they don’t need a language! Darquesse: Core-ean.

Valkyrie: The ritual. To perform it requires a sacrifice. Skulduggery: Sacrifice? I nominate Darquesse. Darquesse: Wait, what? Skulduggery: Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue. Darquesse: I'm 5'9, it's like average height in most of the world! Valkyrie: It's not that kind of sacrifice guys!

Skulduggery: Please, Darquesse, after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this. Skulduggery: I’m sorry Darquesse. Skulduggery: I’m begging you. Don’t do it. Darquesse: It has to be done. Skulduggery: Darquesse: Skulduggery: Darquesse: Places +4 Uno.

Skulduggery: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird? Darquesse: Yes, and that’s coming from me.

Valkyrie, to Darquesse: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Valkyrie: You don't know anything about me! Skulduggery: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

Darquesse: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material. Valkyrie: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.

Darquesse: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done. Valkyrie: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. Darquesse: They're not. Valkyrie: Haha, very funny. Darquesse: I'm serious. Didn't you hear? Valkyrie: No… what happened? Darquesse: …Why would you fall for this again-

Darquesse: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- Skulduggery: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Darquesse: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Valkyrie, recording: This is so cute.

Kidnapper: We have your child Ghastly: I don’t have a child? Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich? Ghastly: Oh god, you have Valkyrie

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, why does your bucket list have ‘Die’ on it? Valkyrie: So I can die feeling at least a little bit accomplished.

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, I am nothing if not a man of principle. Skulduggery: Now let’s break into this apartment.

Valkyrie dies in a game with ships Skulduggery: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Skulduggery: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Darquesse: Legend has it that Valkyrie still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Valkyrie: Of course I do.

Valkyrie, throwing her head into Tanith's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Tanith, lovingly stroking her hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Darquesse: You look mentally ill. Valkyrie: I am. Let’s go.

The Squad is eating dinner mentally, in Valkyrie's head. Darquesse: Can you pass the salt? Skulduggery: throws Valkyrie across the table

Skulduggery: So what’s the plan? Darquesse: I don’t know. You’re smart, points at Valkyrie she's mean, come up with something.

Skulduggery: Go ahead, Valkyrie. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry. Darquesse: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.

Darquesse: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

Darquesse: What do I get? Skulduggery: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death. Darquesse: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one. Skulduggery: It won't be you. Darquesse: I'll get my coat.

Darquesse: Skulduggery, can I speak to you for a minute? In private. Skulduggery: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

Valkyrie: I hate Darquesse. Skulduggery: "Hate' is a strong word. Valkyrie: I have strong opinions.

Valkyrie: Do you even, cuddle, bro? Do you even lift, bro… each other up with kindness? Do you tell your loved ones that you care about them regardless of who is listening? DO YOU EVER RESOLVE CONFLICTS, EMOTIONAL ISSUES THROUGH COMPROMISE AND COMPASSION RATHER THAN ANGER AND DENIAL?!

Valkyrie: Can we go to a haunted house? Skulduggery: What’s wrong with the one we live in? Valkyrie: Wh-what? Skulduggery: Goodnight, Valkyrie.

Skulduggery: Children are the most insanely stupid people I have the displeasure of interacting with. Darquesse, referring to herself and Valkyrie: Even us? Skulduggery: Especially you guys. Valkyrie: Darquesse: Valkyrie: Petition to kick Skulduggery out so he stop insulting us. Darquesse: Seconded.

Skulduggery: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

Skulduggery: If a demon possessed me, I’d just be like, “Okay, take it from here, good luck man.”

Skulduggery: Define “dream”. Darquesse: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works. Valkyrie: That’s too dark!

Skulduggery: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?! Darquesse: It's kind of complicated, but Valkyrie- Skulduggery: Got it. Forget I asked.

Valkyrie: Gives a bouquet to Darquesse Darquesse: You know I'm allergic. Valkyrie: That's the point.

[marchwardenofmordor]

Ok so a dilemma I have.

Whilst yes, I do technically agree with the one dude on the news who got REALLY irate about Welsh culture / language / folklore being used in fantasy novels without being researched and being used wrongly, and him wanting anyone who isn’t Welsh to outright STOP using Welsh culture.

How many fantasy writers nowadays are actually welsh?

I feel like by telling people NOT to include Welsh language / folklore / culture in their fantasy books, that kind of actually erases some of our culture.

And that’s *because* we are so engrained in the fantasy genre. I feel strongly attached to elves and the fae because of it (and also because autism but)

Honestly. LOTR did it well. The Witcher had some lovely little surprises that made me squeak - I remember hearing witcher-elven for the first time and it flicked that internal switch of “ooh, I kind of understand this and its scritching the good part of my brain” and also because the Witcher elves are fucking awesome. Dragon Age!! All the Welsh Dalish elves and their song ‘once we were’ incorporating our hiraeth into the game was something really heartfelt to me.

HOWEVER.

And this is a big however. I feel very uncomfortable when all this welsh folklore / language / culture is used… only for the characters to be given ENGLISH accents.

It’s a huge kick in the gut. If you know anything about Welsh history, you’ll instantly know why. And not only that, but I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but where British TV is concerned…

Filming in Wales? Check. Talking about Welsh things? Check. Welsh person being interviewed? ❌❌ incorrect buzzer.

English reporters literally go to a celtic country and find another English person to put on the TV. And it’s the same with Scotland.

BBC reporter goes to a scottish university to ask the students what they think of something. You’d think they’d ask one of the actual Scottish students, right? Wrong! They pulled up the most rahh wheres my baccy daddy’s trust fund middle to upper class English kids they could, and actually spoke OVER and deleted footage of an interview with a Scottish student who had genuine concerns.

I dare say Northern Ireland gets the same shitty treatment.

So when there’s a fantasy book using all these celtic components, and ALL THE FUCKING CHARACTERS ARE ENGLISH, I GET A BIT IRATE. 👹👹👹👹👹👹

Not to mention that they never pronounce anything right.

I read a book where there is a beautiful incorporation of the welsh language, blended with Irish gaelic, a little peppering kiss of Scots in there too, and I hear it in my head as the fucking gods intended

And then I see the film / series adaptation and there’s English people butchering it. Especially when attempts are made at Welsh letters they don’t have in their alphabets or they try to speak (what’s essentially welsh c’mon) ‘correctly’ with received pronunciation. It makes me want to turn myself inside out.

It’s like being in Rivendell and hearing black speech

Tolkien had good intentions. I know that mfer LOVED my home. Tolkien gets a pass.

Andrej Sapkowski also gets a pass.

The writers of Dragon Age who worked on the Dalish and Solas DEFINITELY get a pass.

… but Acotar. Acotar.

Do not. If you have any sort of love for me, do not.

And that’s my take on it, as an actual Welsh person who was born and raised in Wales.

Whilst I won’t rip your heads off like the dude on the news. I beg of you. I beg; please do your research. And if you are going to use the welsh language, please at least have the decency to give the character a matching accent.

Also desperately begging film studios and series creators to hire actual fucking celtic actors. PLEASE.

If I get excited over one more mfer with a name like Rhys or Llewellyn or Morgana or Gwyn and they rock up like “aha rahhh I’m CkLeweCklyn” I’m going to pull a Solas and find and rip open our equivalent of the veil before putting myself into a millennia long godsleep.

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 4 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Mac McDonald

Ok SO. First off, he’s said on at least one occasion that he considers Paddy’s Pub to be an Irish catholic bar (it is not). His religion plays a huge part in his character- it shapes a lot of his motivations and is the driving force behind a lot of his character arc. He spends a lot of time trying to reconcile his faith and his sexuality, and spends literally seasons (years in the show) doing that. In season 15, he literally almost became a priest. We see him go to confession and it’s canon that he goes regularly. In Mac day (a day where he got to choose what the gang did) he based the day around the Bible and lectured his friends.

Aslan

OP Note

Idk man he's a talking lion who's basically the god of his universe and is just like, the physical embodiment of love and magic on multiple occasions. He's just cool.

The character is an allegory to Jesus for multiple reasons but mostly being resurrected after being killed in the place of someone who did something bad.

The fastest, albeit incorrect, way to explain it is by saying "Jesus' fursona" which is awful of an explanation but pretty much sums it up

Aslan in Narnia is Jesus in our world, as it has been proved many time in the movies and books.

Anti-propaganda

Extremely despondent I dropped off the face of the planet before this poll ended. Aslan is so aggressively protestant. A catholic Jesus metaphor would have 300% more mothers and also at least one saint would be there for no reason. Meanwhile Sasuke was baptized by Naruto, the true catholic Jesus metaphor who got his powers from his mom and can walk on water

[anastachord]

wtf ao3 tags - the sequel

vampire ballet

Slap Slap Kiss

Irish Republicanism

Setting Zombies on Fire

Woke Up Gay

Autoerotic Asphyxiation

i was raised a catholic and went to religious schools so this is the time to exploit that

There isn't a tag for titties OR man titties and that's really disappointing

a sheep farm

Happy Enging

they are GAY and they are STUPID

Misue of Louisiana Slang

FEDDY FABEAR

Subway Meet-Cute

YO-HO-HO HERE WE GO BITCHES

hehe

actual chicken

nae nae swag

tossing salad

Zuho puts coins up his nose

stanky leg

the transgenderification of the ninja turtles

Improper use of OceanGate's Titan Submarine

when the sound "mmmm" is a weapon

Inappropriate use of butterflies

impending doom

that's not what windows are for

when blushing causes an existential crisis

flirting via security cameras

pretending everything is fine when it's clearly NOT

I swear to god there's a happy ending in here somewhere please believe me

Warning: reading this may require the use of a defibrillator

Inappropriate use of mayonnaise

unholy use of mayonnaise

the looming threat of a fedora

zombie chickens covered in jam

religion...???

violence against musical instruments

the mechanics of a good hug

I have been told reading this fix has curative properties, I have also been told that it has killed people

ill advised climbing

this fic is chicken noodle soup for your soul

accidental improper use of setting tablet

screams into the sun

i claim my right to remain silent your honour

I'm happy to announce that I'm back on my bullshit

Inappropriate use of tv

teeth extraction kink

mind fucking, literally

innapropriate use of a santa hat

Reader gets peeled like a grape

torture, visualize peeling a banana

improper use of a detached arm

eats a mushroom and becomes a communist

Inappropriate use of a McDonalds cup

improper use of religiously oriented yogurt

the homeless man i gave a burger to in 2017

Non con bc lamps can't consent

improper use of a wine bottle (it doesn't break)

whipped cream as lube

improper use of a decomposed finger

no children were actually kidnapped, just temporarily acquired

ovary popping like grapes

Improper use of goose

soap uses drugs and alcohol to cope with being a furry

Sharpened Bones of Brendan Urie

improper use of a swiffer wetjet

OceanGate Titan Submarine/RMS Titanic (Anthropomorphic)

Tennis, i dont know how to play tennis

Questionable anger management solutions

setting off fireworks in hands

An abundance of baby oil

submarine sandwich

the mortifying ordeal of discovering you're into bdsm while you're caught up in a political intrigue

Unacceptable use of tragedy

spoilers for the bible... i guess??

exploitation of magical swords

Bees

improper use of duct tape that would make OSHA cry

Punching your future father in law in the face as a metaphor for love

smut bit also i'm too scared to write it

ryan reynolds - Freeform

sharks dying

A walking brick of cocaine

The Curse of the Bonus Vajayjay

Refrigerator

Brief mentions of a dog in a top hat

that one song by the buttholes of whatever the fuck they're called

Sink me like one of your French girls

Biblically Incorrect

Moose

a decade-long streak of Pining is ruined by a false hickey

Tim is homophobic??

this is half smut and half roasting two thirty year old men for being fucking stupid

something that is sort of crossdressing but not really

holy shit barbed dick is already a tag, i fucking love the internet

Robbery, by a dumbass

human toilet

Abuse of gummy worms

someone please help this fish

Mentions of heterosexuality

yogurt (i can explain)

Nuns

Tim gets fucking attacked

weirdly sexual cheeseburgers

university of arkansas

Out of Character, but I'm out of fucks so it's fine

TW straight people

car seats as an expression of love

alarm clock to lovers

it's not game of thrones inspired but it's not not game of thrones inspired so

shoe licking

Inappropriate use of Logitech controllers

Decidedly non-platonic BDSM

how to create a romance epic for dummies

aggressive mutual caretaking

the usual amount of murdering characters in my fics

weirdly long talks about fnaf lore

All the men die but the boats are okay

SPOILER: it is not an egg!!

yelling at people to show you care

set in australia in my hometown but that affects literally nothing

somehow a harmonica gets involved

Top Shadow the Hedgehog

Elevator Butt

gru's noise

Accidental Uncle Acquisition

frog tie

Quantum Mechanics, but wikipedia's version, so take that with a grain of salt

a crazy amount of john mulaney reference that carries on for multiple chapters for some reason

sadist slime

questionable use of dortitos

scandalous use of musical vocabulary

swallowed alive

human on mushroom violence

misuse of whirlpool baths

sir this is a Wendy's pull up your pants

let me delulu in peace

the eternal question of who is doing the laundry

screaming into the void

somewhere ogre the rainbow

a random horse appears

Mentions of a goat

don't let your memes be dreams

shrek eats beans

Santa Claus has seen some shit

green cow milk

erotic birth

unhealthy relationship but in a spicy way

a truly pathetic amount of pining

gratuitous use of Narwhals

one sorta severed limb but not really

putting the fun in funeral

tragedy my lord

is it murder when they die themselves?

meet tired

falling in love over a coffin

dirt as a love language

Sugar Daddy Voldemort

Florida AU

Canonical Character Death, It gets better I promise, the death not the fic

what's the tag for come coming out of your nose

Tentacle Dick, actually more dolphin dick but no one needs to know what i looked up for this

if you guys KNEW my google search history right now

There are deer that are wizards that have human hands

Multiple historical events were caused by a sentient pitcher of Kool-Aid