#incorrect irish gods

[godsofhumanity]

Cu Chulainn: Just want to wish Ferdiad the most special, magical birthday ever. I love you with all my heart. Cu Chulainn: Also, happy birthday to my wife, Emer.

[mushroom-through-the-stargate]

Danny Phantom : this villain is an ancient Egyptian pharaoh named dulaman

me, someone who has a very rusty grasp of Irish Gaelic but also a favourite silly folk song : seaweed??? his name is fricking SEAWEED????

this song

[atsushis-fangs]

Hamish: you see, none of these required an intervention, Killough's just a bitch North: okay, but consider, it was really funny

@winterwrites23

[15pantheons]

Bres: When I first met you, I did not like you.  Lugh: I'm aware of that.  Bres: But then you and I had some time together.  Lugh: Uh-huh?  Bres: It did not get better. 

[parkour-and-coffee]

Steve Rogers wrote this

forgive me lord for I have imagined a life far more soft and tender than the one you created for me

[memendoemori]

When the single thought that breaks through the Miasma is your brain going "We're going to have to rebuild this story for the third time" while looking at NaNoWriMo 2023 & the 2021-2022 attempts

[hailmaryfullofgrace55675]

“Ashkenazi Jews don’t actually have Levantine genetic ancestry” has been floating around lately among naïve and conspiracy minded anti-Zionists, a problematic claim that undermines actually correct anti-Zionist principles and defense of Palestinian rights. This claim is

absolutely irrelevant, as “blood” originating on the “soil” does not grant anyone any right to an ethnostate on any land. Using area-native ethnicity to justify discrimination and mass killing is bad when it’s Yamato Japanese discriminating against Korean, Mainland Chinese, and Taiwanese minorities in Japan and it’s bad when it’s Celtic-Germanic descent Brits oppressing Celtic-Germanic descent Irish who they’re genetically undifferentiatable from. It was bad when it was Hutus killing Tutsis and it was bad when it was the Khmer Rouge killing Chinese and Vietnamese Cambodians. The actions of the Israeli state in immiserating and slaughtering non-Jewish Palestinians would be equally harmful and wrong if the diaspora had never happened and every Israeli could trace their resident lineage in an unbroken line back to the time of the Second Temple, because it is bad to destroy people’s homes, burn their crops, imprison them, and kill them.

incorrect, at least according to current scientific consensus. Most genetic studies seem to indicate that Ashkenazim are of majority European descent and also have ancestry in the Levant, that is: the Ashkenazi population had some Levantine founders and there’s been significant amounts of intermarriage over the hundreds and hundreds of years of the diaspora into Southern Europe and from there across Central and Eastern Europe.

irrelevant again because even if, through a combination of conversions, adoptions, intermarriage, and adulterous and out of wedlock pairings between Jews and local gentiles, the diasporic European Jewish population had become completely genetically indistinguishable from local gentiles, those Jews would still have been the children of Israel. They still would have learned to read the Torah and celebrate its festivals. They still would have learned, from their families and communities in an unbroken line, to pray “Sh’ma Yisrael, Adonai eloheinu, Adonai echad” (Hear, Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one) as the rabbinic sages of Roman Judea observed in the Talmud that they were commanded to do. They still would have spoken languages with Hebrew and Aramaic elements, and they still would have written them with letters recognizable in the Dead Sea Scrolls. They still would have had the same interests, affirmed daily and yearly, in the land that their people left so many hundreds of years ago.

One formulation of the claim is “Israel bans direct to consumer genetic testing because it shows that (Ashkenazi) Jews don’t have Middle Eastern ancestry”. The Israeli government does ban DTC genetic testing as part of a genetic information privacy and nondiscrimination law passed in 2000, before companies like 23andMe existed. DNA testing for ancestry can be interpreted and presented many ways, and the ancestry breakdowns given by DTC GT companies just do not correspond to the question “where, how, and through what migrations did this population originate?”.

Once again, Zionism is not bad because people residing in places their ancestors are not from is bad. That is fine. Zionism is bad because from its beginning the Zionist project has been one of violent dispossession and because that violent dispossession continues in and through this very present moment.

[kaizey]

The number of americans and non-gaelic speakers saying that its either over-reaction at how many of us are taken aback by this, or feel "vindicated" that their pronounciation was right all along, just know; This has now overtaken the actual, irish and scottish gaelic pronounciation resources

This is not over-reacting, its a legitamite justified response to another example of some american cunt team deciding that instead of being faithful to a culture a media is borrowing from and exposing new people to it, they bastardise a term, and now, god knows how many people are going think the mispronounciation is real, and will feel justified in future ignorance when exposed to our languages

The original japanese is actually accurate. Thisis literally just another case of yankee localisers deciding to fuck with another aspect of gaelic folklore and language to be palatable for monolglots and anglophones. This is another small thing in the pile of small things thats made Gaelic of any variety viewed as either a joke, "broken" english or just gibberish by outsiders. When so many of us who speak our mother tongue have to constantly deal with yanks and brits boosting incorrect info and whitewashing actual aspects of our folklore that people might actually find interesting

Its "Kat-shee", or "Ke-at-shee"

Ar son Dé. Le do thoil. Stop é seo a dhéanamh.

[buggywiththefolkmagic]

Appalachian Witchcraft for Beginners: Review

This is: Appalachian Witchcraft for Beginners: The History, Remedies, and Spells of a Rich Folk Magic Tradition by Auburn Lily

Rating: 2/10

Pros: Some information presented is correct, like the information on “ingredients” isn’t too bad if not a super small amount of them, she mentioned red clay which a lot of books seem to forget exists. And this book’s aesthetics? 10/10 for the illustration work, colors, fonts! I also appreciated the insistence that you help the land as much as possible, as well as the land’s original inhabitants and to give Indigenous voices space. 

Cons: There is so much I was so disappointed by. First off let’s get this out of the way: The author in her bio on her own website auburnlily.com claims she is a starseed. I have a LOT of personal feelings about the Starseed movement and how it damages the progress of mental health and getting help and medication for said mental disorders. But this should have been the first major red flag that this book would not be what it says on the cover.

A lot of my problems are as follows:

Most folk workers don’t use the same three or four ingredients…in this case:

Peppermint. Rose. Essential Oils. Crystals, usually citrine or black tourmaline. 

Actually we tend to not use crystals at all unless we’ve adapted them into our practice ourselves…the old folk didn’t have pretty rocks to use they got at the New Age store in the town square, alright? 

A LOT of this information is definitely tinged in a new age and modern light. The correspondences for the days of the week mentions “The Goddess” which we don’t…deal with??? At all??

Another example:

Grannies used to use the bible and ‘faith healing’ to avoid persecution from their community.

Absolutely not! She mentioned the witch trials a minimum of 6 times, which (ahaha good pun) almost made me roll my eyes into the back of my head, then I read the bible to avoid persecution part and almost burned the book on the spot.

Faith healing is NOT a cop out. 

It was the way things WERE. Were there hexers? Yes. Were they given a wide berth sometimes? Also yes. But they also had their place in the community! The hexer in my family, Flossie, was respected with some fear, but she was also the person who scorned lovers and cheated on spouses went to. When the police were hounding moonshiners a few came to her for cop go away works. 

The author also insinuates that Yarb Doctors were held in higher regard because they didn’t use faith/and or gender may have had a point in that. I dunno what yarb doctors and grannies she talked to but men were not allowed in the birthing room, that was a Granny’s responsibility and by god they did it well. You never backtalked a Granny, they were and are the backbones of their communities. 

Now that I’m off that soapbox, the author also seems to believe that meditation, third eyes, astrology in a modern way, and crystals are critical for Appalachian witchcraft which is stupidly incorrect. Her recipe for floor wash is hogwash and far too simple and small, her candle color correspondences are laughable…especially that little line on Orange: “Helps with menstrual cramps.” If that was the case no straight woman in Tennessee would get cramps because they all wear orange at least once a week for their team. 

She only uses Hoodoo like…3 times which is better than most authors so I supposed that’s progress? But the author also hates baneful work and makes mention of that fact numerous times.

The author also has quite a few love spells mentioned, and weirdly enough…a lot of her ingredients in OTHER spells are also the same ingredients in her love spells. How strange. 

My final and most damning gripe, the author seems to believe that stereotypes make for amazing offerings to the ancestors. In particular…the Irish would appreciate offerings of potatoes. You have to be kidding me.

Overall: Yet another new age witch trying to make folk magic look far more complicated and fluffy than it is. I hated this so much. I didn't even touch the "Open the healing channel" and "Reparative Visualization" "SPELLS" she includes which sounds like absolute woowoo.

Proof of some of these claims are below: 

[thrawns-babygirl]

Since we confirmed I can send asks still let me tell you this very urgent and important info:

Hux is the lowest grade of man what the fuck Piper have some god damn standards you whore

What the actual fuck jack!? Wrong. Absolutely incorrect. I have never had someone so loudly incorrect in my asks before. This man? This man right here?

Highest kill count in the entire franchise. Alderaan? Try the entire Hosnian system. In terms of sexy war criminals he's the most war criminal of all of them. He's got daddy issues, a chip on his shoulder and sexy red hair. He had potential as a character that the writers WASTED!

Hes a sopping wet meow meow. He's babygirl. He's truly one of the most evil, damaged blorbos the entire franchise has to offer.

AND

Domhnall Gleeson is Irish and sexy as hell.

[detective-inspector-her]

Incorrect Quotes Based Of This Au Because I'm Finally Writing About It -_-

Darquesse: I am strong! I beat Skulduggery at arm wrestling! Valkyrie: Anyone can beat Skulduggery at arm wrestling! Skulduggery: Hey-

Skulduggery: Met a dumbass today. Awful. Darquesse: You looked in a mirror? Skulduggery: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.

Skulduggery: Why don’t you go talk to them? Valkyrie, sarcastically: Oh. Yeah, sure. Skulduggery: What? So you go tell them they’re cute, what’s the worst that could happen? Valkyrie: They could hear me.

Valkyrie: Can we talk? One 10 to another? Darquesse: I’m an 11, but continue.

Darquesse: What is your favourite mythical story? Skulduggery: The Story Of My Will To Live. Darquesse: I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before.

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, you’re in charge! Darquesse: Valkyrie, can we start a fire?

Darquesse: All of your existences are confusing. Valkyrie and Skulduggery: How so? Darquesse: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

Darquesse: Well, you know what they say: Can’t bake a pie without losing a dozen men!

Valkyrie: Darquesse, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement- Darquesse: Aww, thanks- Valkyrie: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

Skulduggery: Nothing feels better than winning Monopoly. Not love, not sex, not free pizza, nothing! Valkyrie: I’m sorry, have you tried pizza? Skulduggery (Has Valkyrie's Tastebuds): Yes, and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friend’s eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate. Darquesse: I like you.

Darquesse: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Valkyrie: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Darquesse: … Darquesse: You mean ring bearER, right? Valkyrie: … Darquesse: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to Tanith and Ghastly's wedding.

Valkyrie: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

Skulduggery: Darquesse is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in her entire life! Valkyrie: Never done anything wrong?! She set a city block on FIRE!

Valkyrie: Go big or go home! Skulduggery: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home. Valkyrie: I'm going big!

Skulduggery: I’m not mad, I just need to know why you two had a fake ID. Valkyrie: Incoherent mumbling Skulduggery: Huh? Darquesse: …You need to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.

Darquesse: Have you done this before? Valkyrie: Well, Darquesse, it's like if you read the script you come better prepared. Skulduggery: That's not what they do in the US, they don't read things. Darquesse: I don't read, Valkyrie. Valkyrie: You're Irish!?

Skulduggery: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

Valkyrie: You know what I asked Santa for Christmas this year? Skulduggery: If you say me, I swear I’ll— Valkyrie: You? What? No, I asked him for that cool Ninjago Lego set we saw in Target!

Valkyrie: English is CRAZY. Oregano is both a spaghetti leaf topping and a form of paper art! Skulduggery: What is this "paper art" you speak of? Valkyrie: That shit where you make cranes and stuff out of folded paper! Skulduggery: … Valkyrie.

Valkyrie: Nice rock. Skulduggery: Thanks, Darquesse gave it to me. Darquesse: I threw it at you! Skulduggery: Isn't she the sweetest?

Darquesse: I dropped Valkyrie. Skulduggery: Darquesse, what the fuck.

Skulduggery: If you want my advice- Valkyrie: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times. Skulduggery: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they’ve also tried to kill me. Darquesse: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.

Darquesse: Why won’t you all just lie down and die with dignity?! Skulduggery: We don’t do anything with dignity!

Darquesse, texting: O Valkyrie: What? Darquesse: Don’t read into that. Valkyrie: But I will read into that. Darquesse: HOW?! IT’S A LETTER! Valkyrie: Why is there a space after it, hmmmmm? Darquesse: Dude, really? Darquesse: It’s a fucking letter. Valkyrie: It could stand for something! Darquesse: IT DOESN’T, I PROMISE! Valkyrie: Like Oppression! Or worse… Darquesse: Dude, I just typed the letter O, that means nothing. :/ Valkyrie: Optometrist. Darquesse: Oh my God…

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Valkyrie, wearing a suit jacket that's 2 times bigger than her size: Spooky.

Skulduggery: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name? Darquesse: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though… I don't know. Skulduggery: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, Darquesse, I’ve left a letter telling your guardians not to worry— Valkyrie: They won’t. Skulduggery: That you’re safe— Valkyrie: That’ll just depress them. Skulduggery: —and you’ll see them in a few weeks. Darquesse: Do we have to?

Skulduggery: What language do they speak at the center of the earth? Skulduggery: Core-ean Valkyrie: The center of the earth is arond 5430 degrees Celsius! Nobody is going to live there so they don’t need a language! Darquesse: Core-ean.

Valkyrie: The ritual. To perform it requires a sacrifice. Skulduggery: Sacrifice? I nominate Darquesse. Darquesse: Wait, what? Skulduggery: Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue. Darquesse: I'm 5'9, it's like average height in most of the world! Valkyrie: It's not that kind of sacrifice guys!

Skulduggery: Please, Darquesse, after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this. Skulduggery: I’m sorry Darquesse. Skulduggery: I’m begging you. Don’t do it. Darquesse: It has to be done. Skulduggery: Darquesse: Skulduggery: Darquesse: Places +4 Uno.

Skulduggery: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird? Darquesse: Yes, and that’s coming from me.

Valkyrie, to Darquesse: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Valkyrie: You don't know anything about me! Skulduggery: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

Darquesse: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material. Valkyrie: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.

Darquesse: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done. Valkyrie: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. Darquesse: They're not. Valkyrie: Haha, very funny. Darquesse: I'm serious. Didn't you hear? Valkyrie: No… what happened? Darquesse: …Why would you fall for this again-

Darquesse: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- Skulduggery: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Darquesse: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Valkyrie, recording: This is so cute.

Kidnapper: We have your child Ghastly: I don’t have a child? Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich? Ghastly: Oh god, you have Valkyrie

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, why does your bucket list have ‘Die’ on it? Valkyrie: So I can die feeling at least a little bit accomplished.

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, I am nothing if not a man of principle. Skulduggery: Now let’s break into this apartment.

Valkyrie dies in a game with ships Skulduggery: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Skulduggery: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Darquesse: Legend has it that Valkyrie still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Valkyrie: Of course I do.

Valkyrie, throwing her head into Tanith's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Tanith, lovingly stroking her hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Darquesse: You look mentally ill. Valkyrie: I am. Let’s go.

The Squad is eating dinner mentally, in Valkyrie's head. Darquesse: Can you pass the salt? Skulduggery: throws Valkyrie across the table

Skulduggery: So what’s the plan? Darquesse: I don’t know. You’re smart, points at Valkyrie she's mean, come up with something.

Skulduggery: Go ahead, Valkyrie. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry. Darquesse: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.

Darquesse: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

Darquesse: What do I get? Skulduggery: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death. Darquesse: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one. Skulduggery: It won't be you. Darquesse: I'll get my coat.

Darquesse: Skulduggery, can I speak to you for a minute? In private. Skulduggery: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

Valkyrie: I hate Darquesse. Skulduggery: "Hate' is a strong word. Valkyrie: I have strong opinions.

Valkyrie: Do you even, cuddle, bro? Do you even lift, bro… each other up with kindness? Do you tell your loved ones that you care about them regardless of who is listening? DO YOU EVER RESOLVE CONFLICTS, EMOTIONAL ISSUES THROUGH COMPROMISE AND COMPASSION RATHER THAN ANGER AND DENIAL?!

Valkyrie: Can we go to a haunted house? Skulduggery: What’s wrong with the one we live in? Valkyrie: Wh-what? Skulduggery: Goodnight, Valkyrie.

Skulduggery: Children are the most insanely stupid people I have the displeasure of interacting with. Darquesse, referring to herself and Valkyrie: Even us? Skulduggery: Especially you guys. Valkyrie: Darquesse: Valkyrie: Petition to kick Skulduggery out so he stop insulting us. Darquesse: Seconded.

Skulduggery: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

Skulduggery: If a demon possessed me, I’d just be like, “Okay, take it from here, good luck man.”

Skulduggery: Define “dream”. Darquesse: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works. Valkyrie: That’s too dark!

Skulduggery: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?! Darquesse: It's kind of complicated, but Valkyrie- Skulduggery: Got it. Forget I asked.

Valkyrie: Gives a bouquet to Darquesse Darquesse: You know I'm allergic. Valkyrie: That's the point.

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 4 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Mac McDonald

Ok SO. First off, he’s said on at least one occasion that he considers Paddy’s Pub to be an Irish catholic bar (it is not). His religion plays a huge part in his character- it shapes a lot of his motivations and is the driving force behind a lot of his character arc. He spends a lot of time trying to reconcile his faith and his sexuality, and spends literally seasons (years in the show) doing that. In season 15, he literally almost became a priest. We see him go to confession and it’s canon that he goes regularly. In Mac day (a day where he got to choose what the gang did) he based the day around the Bible and lectured his friends.

Aslan

OP Note

Idk man he's a talking lion who's basically the god of his universe and is just like, the physical embodiment of love and magic on multiple occasions. He's just cool.

The character is an allegory to Jesus for multiple reasons but mostly being resurrected after being killed in the place of someone who did something bad.

The fastest, albeit incorrect, way to explain it is by saying "Jesus' fursona" which is awful of an explanation but pretty much sums it up

Aslan in Narnia is Jesus in our world, as it has been proved many time in the movies and books.

Anti-propaganda

Extremely despondent I dropped off the face of the planet before this poll ended. Aslan is so aggressively protestant. A catholic Jesus metaphor would have 300% more mothers and also at least one saint would be there for no reason. Meanwhile Sasuke was baptized by Naruto, the true catholic Jesus metaphor who got his powers from his mom and can walk on water

[anastachord]

wtf ao3 tags - the sequel

vampire ballet

Slap Slap Kiss

Irish Republicanism

Setting Zombies on Fire

Woke Up Gay

Autoerotic Asphyxiation

i was raised a catholic and went to religious schools so this is the time to exploit that

There isn't a tag for titties OR man titties and that's really disappointing

a sheep farm

Happy Enging

they are GAY and they are STUPID

Misue of Louisiana Slang

FEDDY FABEAR

Subway Meet-Cute

YO-HO-HO HERE WE GO BITCHES

hehe

actual chicken

nae nae swag

tossing salad

Zuho puts coins up his nose

stanky leg

the transgenderification of the ninja turtles

Improper use of OceanGate's Titan Submarine

when the sound "mmmm" is a weapon

Inappropriate use of butterflies

impending doom

that's not what windows are for

when blushing causes an existential crisis

flirting via security cameras

pretending everything is fine when it's clearly NOT

I swear to god there's a happy ending in here somewhere please believe me

Warning: reading this may require the use of a defibrillator

Inappropriate use of mayonnaise

unholy use of mayonnaise

the looming threat of a fedora

zombie chickens covered in jam

religion...???

violence against musical instruments

the mechanics of a good hug

I have been told reading this fix has curative properties, I have also been told that it has killed people

ill advised climbing

this fic is chicken noodle soup for your soul

accidental improper use of setting tablet

screams into the sun

i claim my right to remain silent your honour

I'm happy to announce that I'm back on my bullshit

Inappropriate use of tv

teeth extraction kink

mind fucking, literally

innapropriate use of a santa hat

Reader gets peeled like a grape

torture, visualize peeling a banana

improper use of a detached arm

eats a mushroom and becomes a communist

Inappropriate use of a McDonalds cup

improper use of religiously oriented yogurt

the homeless man i gave a burger to in 2017

Non con bc lamps can't consent

improper use of a wine bottle (it doesn't break)

whipped cream as lube

improper use of a decomposed finger

no children were actually kidnapped, just temporarily acquired

ovary popping like grapes

Improper use of goose

soap uses drugs and alcohol to cope with being a furry

Sharpened Bones of Brendan Urie

improper use of a swiffer wetjet

OceanGate Titan Submarine/RMS Titanic (Anthropomorphic)

Tennis, i dont know how to play tennis

Questionable anger management solutions

setting off fireworks in hands

An abundance of baby oil

submarine sandwich

the mortifying ordeal of discovering you're into bdsm while you're caught up in a political intrigue

Unacceptable use of tragedy

spoilers for the bible... i guess??

exploitation of magical swords

Bees

improper use of duct tape that would make OSHA cry

Punching your future father in law in the face as a metaphor for love

smut bit also i'm too scared to write it

ryan reynolds - Freeform

sharks dying

A walking brick of cocaine

The Curse of the Bonus Vajayjay

Refrigerator

Brief mentions of a dog in a top hat

that one song by the buttholes of whatever the fuck they're called

Sink me like one of your French girls

Biblically Incorrect

Moose

a decade-long streak of Pining is ruined by a false hickey

Tim is homophobic??

this is half smut and half roasting two thirty year old men for being fucking stupid

something that is sort of crossdressing but not really

holy shit barbed dick is already a tag, i fucking love the internet

Robbery, by a dumbass

human toilet

Abuse of gummy worms

someone please help this fish

Mentions of heterosexuality

yogurt (i can explain)

Nuns

Tim gets fucking attacked

weirdly sexual cheeseburgers

university of arkansas

Out of Character, but I'm out of fucks so it's fine

TW straight people

car seats as an expression of love

alarm clock to lovers

it's not game of thrones inspired but it's not not game of thrones inspired so

shoe licking

Inappropriate use of Logitech controllers

Decidedly non-platonic BDSM

how to create a romance epic for dummies

aggressive mutual caretaking

the usual amount of murdering characters in my fics

weirdly long talks about fnaf lore

All the men die but the boats are okay

SPOILER: it is not an egg!!

yelling at people to show you care

set in australia in my hometown but that affects literally nothing

somehow a harmonica gets involved

Top Shadow the Hedgehog

Elevator Butt

gru's noise

Accidental Uncle Acquisition

frog tie

Quantum Mechanics, but wikipedia's version, so take that with a grain of salt

a crazy amount of john mulaney reference that carries on for multiple chapters for some reason

sadist slime

questionable use of dortitos

scandalous use of musical vocabulary

swallowed alive

human on mushroom violence

misuse of whirlpool baths

sir this is a Wendy's pull up your pants

let me delulu in peace

the eternal question of who is doing the laundry

screaming into the void

somewhere ogre the rainbow

a random horse appears

Mentions of a goat

don't let your memes be dreams

shrek eats beans

Santa Claus has seen some shit

green cow milk

erotic birth

unhealthy relationship but in a spicy way

a truly pathetic amount of pining

gratuitous use of Narwhals

one sorta severed limb but not really

putting the fun in funeral

tragedy my lord

is it murder when they die themselves?

meet tired

falling in love over a coffin

dirt as a love language

Sugar Daddy Voldemort

Florida AU

Canonical Character Death, It gets better I promise, the death not the fic

what's the tag for come coming out of your nose

Tentacle Dick, actually more dolphin dick but no one needs to know what i looked up for this

if you guys KNEW my google search history right now

There are deer that are wizards that have human hands

Multiple historical events were caused by a sentient pitcher of Kool-Aid

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Remember the very beginning of 2023, when I got my CD of Daniel Kitson's Shenaniganagain, listened to it twice in a row, and lost my mind partly from the confusing complicated plot but mostly because he kept interacting with some mystery voice that was almost familiar but I couldn't quite grasp it? And it happened to hit that exact part of my brain that drives me nuts, the same part of me that has put so much time into trying to hear minute differences between regional accents even when I don't have the aptitude for it, because I have terrible auditory processing skills but wish I had good ones and keep (incorrectly) believing I can make up for this with enough manual effort (it's not completely incorrect, a few years ago I could not tell an English accent from an Irish one, now I can basically tell Northern English from non-Northern English from Welsh from Northern Irish from non-Northern Irish from Glaswegian from misc. Scottish - though Glasweigan I've been able to recognize since I was a teenager because of The Thick of It - but I can't do more than that no matter how hard I've tried). And this got to the same part of my brain, where I felt like I should be able to decode the sound of someone whose voice I definitely know, but I couldn't do it.

I was going to post this as a reblog to the post I made about this a year ago, but I just found that post again and it's so long and rambling and ridiculous that I cannot bring myself to reblog it and bring the whole thing back. I'm just going to copy-paste the relevant bits, which are already too much.

Well, I’ve listened to it. Twice, because it’s one of those ones that requires an immediate repeat listening. Fucking hell. There was so much going on in that. God damn it. Do you ever listen to something so good it that it actually annoys you? It’s like that thing they described on QI, where when you see an overwhelmingly cute kitten you kind of want to punch it. There’s just not much point in writing my thoughts about something that no one reading this will have heard or will have the option of hearing, which is annoying because I have a lot of thoughts. So many thoughts. Fucking confusing Eternal Sunshine unreliable narrator timeline jumping ambiguous ending shit. Weirdly my most pressing question is who the hell was the other voice actor? I think it was Isy Suttie. It would make sense for it to be Isy Suttie, it's always Isy Suttie. There were a few times when she’d say a few words and I’d think, “Oh, it’s silly that I was confused, that’s definitely her.” Then other times I thought, “It’s definitely not, I don’t know why I could have thought it was.” Near the end, he tells us he’d adjusted the person’s voice via whatever audio editing skills he’d picked up while not leaving his house. So it’s probably just Isy Suttie and it sounds not quite like her because the voice is disguised. The voice definitely sounds female, and that New York Times article refers to her as a “female friend” (an article that I saw because don’t think I didn’t try to look up who she is, though of course now that I’ve said "it's not as easy as just finding the answer on the internet, I've checked and it's not there", it’ll turn out I’ve missed something very obvious and it says right on the front page of his website that it’s Lorraine Kelly). But you can change anything with enough audio editing, right? There were about three different times when I could swear the person spoke with the exact cadence of Tim Key. Like I think this is how Tim Key would sound if you raised his pitch. I don’t actually think that, because taking Tim Key’s voice and editing it to sound like a female version of himself would be a ridiculous thing for Daniel Kitson to do. But also, I’ve listened to Trifle, so I believe Kitson is capable of just about any degree of fucking with us. Trifle had me demanding to know whether he’d invented Tim Key just for that radio show. It’s almost definitely Isy Suttie, with the voice a bit distorted. If I hadn’t listened to Trifle I’d just assume it was her. If I hadn’t listened to Trifle I’d assume he really was recording birds in the forest when he claimed he’d done so, instead of getting to that bit and immediately regarding it with suspicion. If anyone has happened to get their hands on a recording of this show, and has a guess as to who that other person is, please let me know. Given Kitson’s history, it could be fucking anyone.

Yeah it was just his own voice. It came up while I was talking to someone yesterday, I set him a sample of the second voice, and literally less than a minute after I sent it, he sent me back the same clip but edited and it sounded exactly like Daniel Kitson's normal voice. That's the worst part, he didn't even do much to it. Literally just raised the pitch, apparently. So it took someone else less than one minute to lower the pitch in Audacity and get it back to the original, which Daniel Kitson sounding completely normal.

I did try that myself last year, for the record. I put that sample into Audacity and tried doing things to it. But I think I was thrown off by him saying on the CD that he would significantly distort the person's voice. I figured he'd have done a bunch of things to it, so I'd have to try a bunch of other things if I want to turn it back into the original, I tried a few things with multiple layers and it didn't help so I just gave up. Did not occur to me that I could try just lowering the pitch a bit and doing literally nothing else to it. I'm not great at audio editing, I can sometimes use it to remove a bit of noise on a rough quality recording, but I apparently do not have the audio processing or the audio editing skills to hear when you just need to make one type of adjustment that takes one minute.

Mystery solved, it's all okay. I do have a long list of Questions for Daniel Kitson that I'd love to put to him at the Tree Q+A he's doing this Sunday, none of which are reasonable things to ask at a Q+A for a movie screening so it's a good thing there's an Atlantic Ocean stopping me from attending. But at least I can knock one of the questions off my list. And maybe sleep at night again. All that effort and it was just his own fucking voice. Not even well disguised.

[mnyehlike]

I posted 38,312 times in 2022

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

also whats tallyho about

im so glad you asked. im going to explode. the official pitch packet is here, now sit down and buckle up for my kinda abridged explanation based on what i know.

ok so basically there is a gay taiwanese kid and his irish adoptive father. they are running an outreach centre for monsters out of the poor part of town. there will be hijinks, lowjinks, and everything in between. quoth the packet, it is "a story revolving around outcasts" linked by coincidence to an "odd and incomprehensible fate". GAAAH I LOVE THIS grr bites it explodes

it takes place in a tax haven off the coast of england (factually incorrect i think but its funnier to describe it like that) run by a man i have been attacked REPEATEDLY over discord for liking (they are so mean to me) (but go look at salem and tell me im incorrect) and it is steampunk with heart and passion. the world itself is REALLY FUCKING INTERESTING from what they have in the pitch packet PLEEEEEASE READ IT but basically there is both steampunk AND magic and they have a SPECIAL OUTERSPACE ROCK which has magic properties (everyone loves a magic space rock) and. and the beasts. ough. the beasts...the space rocks turn men into beasts. go look at the beasts the art is very pretty. ALL THE ART IS PRETTY EXPLODES. explodes explodes the behind the scenes art is also VERY GOOD i cannot say anything on the matter though or i will be banned from the daycare aNYWAYS FOLLOW SKULLHARESTUDIOS ON TWT/TUMBLR/YOUTUBE TO STAY UP TO DATE!!! fucking watch tallyho i'll explode you with my mind if you don't

12 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

#4

this is the first piece ive genuinely been proud of my entire fight so fuck it. it goes on tumblr. here’s my af btw

artfight attack for @tired-t-rex​ and @superbellsubways​

17 notes - Posted July 8, 2022

#3

im told that @asscrackcreed​ made this tier list. im ranking these guys based on whether id date them. if you ask me to elaborate i wont [link]

19 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#2

he made the screen my favourite colour :]

26 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

26 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[spyderslut]

The problem isnt christianity, the problem is elsewhere. You suggest we look at christian majority nations, or at christian theocracy. The problem is in the nation part of christian nation. The problem is how those in power with a vested interest in keeping their power will take liberatory forces and twist them until they can use them to uphold their power. Any religion or lack thereof established as the official mandate of a nation would be horrifically tyrannical. If you want to find liberation in god, look at the true levelers, John Browns raid on harpers fairy, the catholic worker movement, the EZLN and the influence liberation theology had/has on them, look to the brazilian archbishop Hélder Câmara, the Irish priest Des Wilson.

It would be incorrect to point to the esoteric fascists whenever I encounter a progressive Heathen. Instead, I shall break bread and hand a rifle to my comrades of differing faiths.