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Human beings will anthropomorphize anything.

Toy Story: what if toys had feelings.

Monsters Inc: what if monsters had feelings.

Severance: what if the alternate self I force myself to become when working, my worksona, had feelings.

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I think the reason the X-Men are a bad metaphor for racism is that they're actually a metaphor for disability made wrong and strange by the perceived need to broaden the scope to be more relatable to a wider audience via an attempt to be representative of all marginalization.

You know, a story that started with a bunch of kids living at a segregated special school run by a dude in a wheelchair preparing to enter adult life, discriminated against for their appearances, "deformities," abilities and assistive devices. It seems unsubtle to me but I've been in Disability World my whole life so this is the lens by which I see things. The fact that I very rarely see disability-based readings of the X-Men kinda suggests I might be an outlier here? But hear me out.

So, the Doom Patrol represents the other strategy with the same starting premise. Unlike the intentional broadening of subject the X-Men underwent in the 1980s, Doom Patrol has simply never lost sight of its disability focus. The criticism of the Doom Patrol is that it sometimes leans too hard into disability as the root of misery and conflates being disabled with being a "loser." In the 1960s stories, The Chief's role is to give them stern talking-tos about believing in themselves that actually do parallel the stiff upper lip attitude the non-institutionalized disabled were treated with back then (and in some cases are indeed treated with today), but it's not like they're ever going to tell you Robotman, who became a brain in a giant assistive device after a car accident, somehow represents black people lol. That's what Cyborg is for and he is at least actually black and not metaphorically black.

Anyway, my point is, when people criticize the X-Men as a bad metaphor for racism, I always have this feeling like... Yeah, no shit, you're witnessing the generalization of one minority into an ur-minority. Of course no one can really see themselves in that, that's not really how marginalized people experience our marginalization. It's how well-meaning but kind of ignorant non-marginalized people think of the marginalized.

It's especially jarring because disability is somewhat unique in how we culturally address it. Hear me out.

If I treat my black friend (who's black) Eric differently because he's black (he's my black friend), that is fucked up. There is no meaningful difference that exists between myself and Eric on a basis of our skin colour or parentage. Any differences that might exist are social constructs and human reactions to imposed social realities. Paradoxically, in order to be a good friend, Eric must treat me differently than he treats many other people, because I am disabled, and the difference in how he treats me is accommodation. I cannot access the world without this different treatment. A difficulty in navigating discussions of equality is that disabled people, in many ways, require equity in order to function. Allowing all peoples to walk on the same street means nothing to those of us who cannot walk.

Getting out of the crowded elevator because Eric wants in: gross and weird.

Getting out of the crowded elevator because Emily On Wheels wants in: the right move, the elevator is her only option, while you have the option to take the stairs instead. Discriminating in the sense that you are making a choice because of her difference, but not necessarily bigotry because this choice is to enable rather than to oppress. I mean obviously if you roll your eyes and act like a big bitch about it while doing it you are being a bigot but we're talking broad generalizations here.

You can see how, when constructing a metaphor for discrimination, if one is not careful, one may be seen to be endorsing equality without equity, or seen to be endorsing treating people read metaphorically as black differently based on that metaphorical blackness when one wants to make a different statement about ability and accessibility. Especially because bigots often equivocate race and disability so it's become this enmeshed intersectional issue and -- I'm getting beyond my own scope here, sorry.

tbh, even if the X-Men were just about disability, it'd be imperfect. The Doom Patrol is imperfect. The character of Cyborg is imperfect. There will never be a perfect metaphorical superhero who directly represents a social issue or marginalized people, hence why it's important to just... have superheroes who are of these demographics. You know, instead of Kitty Pryde being metaphorically Jewish, she's just Jewish. Instead of Cyborg being metaphorically black, he's just black. Then you can examine what you want to say without over-extending concepts like the mutant metaphor into areas that contradict, and can treat these fictional constructs instead as catalysts for the issues you want to discuss. Or just treat them as realities of the fictional world without necessarily attempting to write them as analogies all the time, Tolkien style. The war parallels will come, even if that's just not what you're writing about, because you're a butch battlefield queen and these wounds they will not heal etc.

Anyway, look, maybe I'm incorrect here. Maybe the disabled man running a special school for people who look different, are different on a basis of the things they can and cannot do ie. seeing without a visor, and are discriminated against specifically for their different abilities, really did represent racism all along, and I'm just huffing swamp gas. Maybe it's a coincidence that the X-Men hit shelves around the same time the concept of deinstitutionalization and the creation of in-community special schools for people who previously would've been institutionalized since early childhood began going mainstream in American politics.

But this is my theory and I'm sticking to it. A lot of the awkwardness in X-Men as a metaphor derives from the desire to expand scope to discuss a universal discrimination when discrimination cannot be made universal, and a lot of the smoother, more recognizable metaphorical writing in Doom Patrol is such because it chose one subject and stuck to it.

i still like both x-men and doom patrol. this isn't a qualitative argument. i actually think there are virtues to a universalized metaphorical marginalization narrative when one's target audience is cishet white boys - maybe relating to wolverine and learning to care about storm might make someone care about black women a little more, y'know? i can hope. i can hope.

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Unsure if after reading the 1940s and Only Legends Live Forever / 1970s reboot of All-Star Comics, whether I should move on to All Star Squadron, the 1980s run and rewrite / retcon of the 1940s stuff, or Infinity Inc., which is kind of a sequel to both.

The Earth Two teams aren't quite on a 90s X-Men level of confusing but their timeline is jumbled in a weird, unique way.

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The fact that Roy Thomas, a writer famous for his ability to keep a run going for hundreds of issues, still talks shit about Crisis up to this day is so carthartic to me. Get their ass, Conan Guy.

Bro is so committed to never rebooting he even made a marriage last longer than Marv Wolfman, Mr Second Time's The Charm.

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A supervillain mind controls all women and also gives them eye lasers with the purpose of destroying all men and taking over the world.

Super Friends is amazing.

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All-Star Comics: Only Legends Live Forever.

Minor character building point: Helena Wayne was raised around Superman and is friends with Power Girl / Kara, this universe's Supergirl. The family lines between Supers and Bats are pretty blurred in Earth Two, despite both families having waaay way way fewer members.

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Just discovered the tumblr Chuck E. Cheese fandom and brother they are aroused.

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TIL the first black Batman Family character was introduced as a kinda sidekick trainee for Wildcat in 1979. I mean, it's Earth Two, so the concept of the Batman Family is different. Bruce is dead and the only Batman-related characters kicking around are Helena Wayne / Huntress and Dick Grayson / Robin (in this universe, he never becomes Nightwing).

A few years after this, in 1983, Charlie Bullock ends up becoming the unfortunately-named Blackwing, sort of a proto-Batwing. Look, it was the era when every single black superhero had either "black" or "power" in their name, kind of a white liberal attempt to access that "black is beautiful" energy.

Still! Charlie is, imo, one of many, many cool concepts undone by Crisis on Infinite Earths only a few years after his introduction.

A bummer, especially because it was a considerable wait before another black character would be added to the roster, at least in an active superhero role.

It kind of blew my mind to learn there was an attempt in the 1980s, actually.

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All-Star Comics: Only Legends Live Forever.

Another world, another time.

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All-Star Comics: Only Legends Live Forever.

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A glimpse at a more interesting DC universe.

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that's my dad and you just

you just killed him

He’s gone.

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Muppet John in the Normal John Is Also Here AU has profound Bat-Mite Miteverse imp energy...

Not a request at all but, I have to mention that I sometimes imagine muppet John on regular John’s shoulder or coat pocket like an emotional support mini him.

emotional support muppet is very cute, but I think John would punt that little gremlin as far as he physically could

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also they could just adapt that one comic that follows on from the first reboot game where Lara is in lesbians with her hot Japanese wife

they solve mysteries and return stolen artifacts to their traditional owners

the bad guy is Sir England Churchillington and he's like "no!! it belongs in a museum! specifically the museum of london which pays me fat stacks!!" and lara's like heh... guess again and shoots him with a shotgun she's holding between her massive tits

Let it be known that I’m available to perform the job of NOT producing any script for only a couple million dollars per series.

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All-Star Comics: Only Legends Live Forever.

On Earth Two, feminists accidentally create a device that makes language incomprehensible.

😶

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i'm definitely cis but also apparently wolves are scared of how men smell so sometimes i lie awake wondering about a different world in which i am queen of wolves