#incorrect eternals

[softquietsteadylove]

Thena: I don't have rizz. I have big green eyes, and many, many unsettling things to say

Gilgamesh: oh my god I love her so much

[jade-bright]

I think this is my first Stilinski-Hale Family incorrects quote?

Derek: Stiles, what are you writing Stiles: Hm? Oh, the FBI wants to know what kind of weapons I keep at home. So, I'm letting them know it's private information. Eli, looking over Stiles's shoulder: …Tata. This just says 'Fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

[blaksstr]

The pack walks into the loft to find Stiles wearing one of Derek’s shirts that’s obviously too big for him.

Isaac: raising an eyebrow "Wow, Stilinski, stealing shirts now?"

Stiles: shrugging "I call it borrowing. Derek calls it marking his territory."

Derek: muttering under his breath "It’s effective."

Lydia: smirking "This is the most romantic thing I’ve seen from you, Derek."

[voidstilesplease]

Stiles: Dad, I like you to officially meet my boyfriend, Derek. Derek, you know him as the sheriff, but tonight, he's just my dad.

Noah: *sighs heavily* Are you absolutely sure about this, son?

Stiles: Dad! Don't be rude—

Noah: I was talking to Derek.

[falling-star-cygnus]

y'all ik i haven't been here long, but this came to me and i have to share it -> i have no idea if someone else has already done this :{

Derek: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist? Stiles: ....yes Derek: I was hula-hooping. Derek: Peter and I attend a class for fitness and for fun. Stiles: oh my god- Derek, pulling out his phone: And I mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the... oopsie-doodle. Stiles: Why are you telling me this? Derek: 🙂 Derek: Because no one... will ever believe you. [He deletes the album] Stiles: No- no nono no-! Stiles: .....youu sick son of a bitch..

[teruel-a-witch]

5x17 'Are they cops or are they married?' - 'Yes.'

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Nina: mmmm this cake is amazing

Wylan: oh my god, get a room

Nina: I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time

Jesper: If you had to what would you give up, food or sex?

Nina, immediately: Sex

Matthias: Seriously, answer faster

Nina: Oh I’m sorry, honey, when he said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you

Matthias: … It’s like giant hug

Wylan: Jes what about you, which would you give up: sex or food?

Jesper: Food

Wylan: Okay, how about sex or your guns?

Jesper: *look of pure horror*

Jesper: Oh my god, it’s like Sophie’s Choice

[stereksimp]

Peter: Dear nephew, why is there a severed head in my refrigerator?

Derek: Why would I know?

Peter: I wasn't talking to you? Stiles?

Stiles: Well, I couldn't keep it in my fridge. Dad would freak out.

Peter: Fair enough. If this is going to become a regular thing, maybe we should get a separate one for dismembered body parts.

[mari-thesapphic-lady]

Eternity: RIO IS PREGNANT.

Rio: I'M NOT PREGNANT.

Infinity: Why the hell do you think Rio is pregnant?

Eternity: She's feeling basic human needs. I caught her eating this noon!

Infinity: WERE YOU EATING?

Rio: I can't sleep or eat anymore?!

Eternity: Yes, you can, but not because it's a necessity.

Infinity: Rio, my dear, you're Death, you don't need these things. Like, why would you sleep if you don't feel tired?

Rio: ...

Eternity: You don't feel tired... do you?

Rio: so-

Infinity: That's it, I'm going to kill that witch.

[fanby-fckry]

Alastor: *looking at his hellphone* Why hasn’t he responded? The only reason I have this ridiculous thing is to ‘text’ him.

Lucifer: *texting Lilith* Lili how do you spell gorgous? 😭

[justrantingaboutrandomtopics]

Everyone loves Talia except Dick.

Everyone around Dick adores her and refuses to say anything bad about her and he can’t stand it.

Damian obviously loves her because she is his mother and while growing up in the LOA wasn’t a very good experience Talia was still a good mother that Damian absolutely looked up to and will defend her every chance he gets.

Jason also kinda grew to see Talia as a mother figure after getting resurrected because she actually treated him the best in the LOA and helped him get better after his swim in the pit. And he has more than once claimed to like her more as a parent than Bruce because Bruce deserves that.

Tim has a somewhat mutual respect relationship going on with her where he considers her a formidable fighter and opponent who he actually enjoys fighting against. He puts her at the same rank as Ra’s and they do sometimes enjoy to bitch about him together during when he was with the LOA briefly in Bruce quest.

Cass met her growing up occasionally and although she isn’t that close with her but she still likes her because of the few pleasant meeting she had when she was a child.

Steph apparently thinks she’s cool and badass due to the stories she heard about her form everybody else and has also been slowly recruiting Duke into this.

don’t even bother with Bruce because he for one he still harbors feeling for her even if he will never fully admit it and two respects her a lot and three has known her the longest so they’re bond runs deep and he knows what she is like best but also is infatuated with her.

*Insert that one panel where Dick asks Bruce to choose between him and Talia or Talia leaving and Bruce basically tells him to the door is that way*

Alfred even likes her because he has had to deal with Bruce’s revolving door of problems and love life and at this point couldn’t give a shit about much. She was one of the good ones in his eyes because she actually had class cause she grew up as basically royalty and learned how to behave like a upper class kind of lady with all the manners early on. Never mind all the LOA shit and criminal fighting it’s still better than Bruce nightly vigilantism shit.

He still tries. Because god help him if he’s going to let this continue without making it very clear he opposes this.

Him making passive aggressive comments everytime someone brings her up. But him also not being able to make one snarky comment without suddenly being verbally attacked by his entire family coming to her defense. It drives him insane because ohmygodthereisnothingspecialaboutherwhydoeseveryonelikeherso damnmuch but his protests fall on deaf ears.

[jade-bright]

I love the Sterek fics that have the crack version of when they tell the Sheriff they're dating, or simply that they like each other, and it basically goes like:

Derek: *trying to impress the Sheriff* I treat your son with nothing but respect sir Stiles: Not true Derek: Stiles: Dad, he shoves me against walls! Derek: *horrified* Stiles: He makes me drive and cook for him Derek: You're a cook! You cook for everybody! Stiles: He won't let me break up with him! Derek: That was you! Sir, I promise that I'm not- Sheriff: *dying of laughter* Stiles: *smirking* Derek: *realizes that Stiles is messing with him* That wasn't funny *huff* Why are you the way you are? Stiles: You see how he talks to me, Dad? Sheriff: *poker face* Despicable

[blaksstr]

Eli walks onto the field, Coach Finstock squints at him from across the field.

Coach: "STILINSKI! What in the name of deeply misguided genetics are you doing back here?! I thought I got rid of you years ago!"

Eli: deadpan "Uh… surprise?"

Coach: grumbling, waving him onto the field "Fine, fine. Get on the field, Stilinski 2.0. Try not to trip over yourself this time."

Later, Derek watches from the sidelines, arms crossed.

Stiles: leaning over "I told you he’d mistake Eli for me."

Derek: grinning "He does have your ‘confused chaos’ energy."

Stiles: "Oh, you mean charm."

Derek: dryly "Sure. That."

[voidstilesplease]

Stiles: I'm your partner, Derek, you have to trust me. Let's not forget who pulled out the wolfsbane-laced dart from your ass last week.

Derek: Yeah, let's not forget who shot me with wolfsbane-laced dart in the ass last week, either.

[teencopandthesourwolf]

Stiles: So you're just like——out here raw dogging life, huh Der-bear?

Derek: Dog jokes? Really, Stiles?

Stiles: Oh my God, I didn't even mean to——hang on, you mean I don't actually need to take quadruple doses of ADHD meds to be funny? BECAUSE I ONLY HAD A DOUBLE DOSE TODAY AND OMG I'M HILARIOUS! Hashtag winning! Hashtag I was just born this way! Hashtag The Stilinski Life! Hashtag How many times can a puny human pump their fist into the air without passing out?!

Stiles: *wobbles on the spot*

Derek: *steadies Stiles with a hand on the puny human's shoulder*

Stiles: Uh... Hashtag what were we talking about??

Boyd: You want me to threaten the pharmacist again, Derek?

Derek: *Le sigh* Please.

[teruel-a-witch]

just mcdanno things: tenderly stroking his knuckles