#agathario incorrect quotes

[yelenabemylova]

Rio: "If a venomous snake bit my penis, would you suck the venom out for me?"

Agatha: "Rio, we are literally in the middle of costco right now."

Rio, pouting: "You didn't say yes." :(

[mari-thesapphic-lady]

Rio: IVE LOST MY WIFE

Rio: HAVE YOU SEEN HER

Person: What does she look like?

Rio, crying: BEAUTIFUL

[tremordusk]

Alice: I miss my mom

Rio: I was a mom once

Alice: you were?

Rio: *nods* well more like a father…

Alice: how were you a father?

Rio: I topped Agatha once and suddenly we had a kid—

Alice: *chokes on her cup of tea*

[marvelsgirl616]

[caseynovaksecretgf]

Mommy issues

[totally-correct-fandoms]

[musicismypreferredlanguage]

Agatha: Rio! why are there little handprints all over the wall?

Rio: *whispers* Nicky, why are there little handprints all over the wall?

Nicky: *whispers* because I have little hands

Rio: *turning back to Agatha* because he has little hands

[born-in-neverland03]

Rio: I will torture you.

Agatha: Ooh, kinky.

Rio: I think you're sweet

Agatha: Wait...

Rio: And beautiful.

Agatha: What are you doing?

Rio: You deserved to be loved.

Agatha, panicking: Stop it!

Rio: Your feelings are valid.

Agatha: I need a safeword!

[five-milfs-and-a-twink]

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Jennifer: Welcome to the “Fuck Agatha” club, where we all talk about how much we hate Agatha.

Rio: …

Rio: I may have misunderstood the purpose of this club.

[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

Rio: I am a cosmic force, I am the natural order of all things and I won’t be treated like this!

Agatha: Are you done?

Rio: I’m the natural order of things

Agatha: Finished?

Rio: But…but I’m…I’m death

Agatha: You’re a brat

Rio:…I’m a cosmic entity…

Agatha: You still have to wash the dishes and tidy the kitchen

Rio: But- but

Agatha: No buts! You made the mess you clean it! Without magic!

Rio revealing her skeletal face and green magic: No

Agatha: Oooohh you’re so big and scary

Rio trying to smile: Yes I am

Agatha: And such a good girl, a very good girl, you’d do anything I ask wouldn’t you?

Rio:….yes?

Agatha: Then do the damn dishes *walks off*

Rio:…Wait? You tricked me!

Agatha: Come find me when you’ve finished and maybe I’ll reward you!

Rio grumbling: I’m death….I’m the one keeping the world spinning and ferrying souls to the afterlife *starts cleaning the kitchen*

[mari-thesapphic-lady]

Agatha: I just want to hear those 3 words.

Rio: I love you.

Agatha: That’s sweet, but try again.

Rio: Ugh, fine...

Rio: I will behave.

Agatha: There we go.

[a-timely-problem]

Lillia: "Oh this coven is incredibly queer"

Billy, who's still trying to figure out how old she really is: "...as in like, strange?"

Lillia, deadpan stare: "You're a twink, Agatha and Rio just went off to hate fuck in the woods and I'm pretty sure that Alice has accidentally proposed to Jen at least three times, so you tell me what I mean, Teenager"

[tremordusk]

Billy: So if you were the mother…who was Nicky’s Dad?

Agatha: He didn’t have one. I made him myself, similar to how your mother made you.

Billy: Oh…with magic?

Agatha: Yes

Rio: Actually I’m Nicky’s Father

Agatha: No you’re not

Rio: I was there

Billy: How?

Agatha: DON’T—

Rio: WHEN AGATHA AND I REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER—

[riovidalupdates]

teen: hey, do you think i could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

rio: you’re a hazard to society

agatha: and a coward. do twenty.

[skittlebits]

Shortly after Thanos snapped (probably)

Thanos: I killed half the universe as a gift for you, my love.

Rio: Um, you snapped them out of existence. There’s nothing for me to reap.

Thanos: I-

Rio: -didn’t think it through? Yeah, figured. Maybe try smaller scale next time. For example, Agatha sunk the Titanic and torched a zeppelin for me a while back. Lots of bodies. It was really sweet.

Thanos: *mutters* Fucking Agatha Harkness.

Rio: Well, obviously.