#agathario incorrect quotes

[aperfectlylesbian]

Rio: *phone starts ringing*

Alice: *looks at who is calling* eh, who's "daddy"?

Rio: *picks up phone and locks eyes with Alice*

Rio: hey Agatha, what's up?

Alice: *chokes on drink*

[marvelsgirl616]

[caseynovaksecretgf]

Mommy issues

[tremordusk]

Billy: So if you were the mother…who was Nicky’s Dad?

Agatha: He didn’t have one. I made him myself, similar to how your mother made you.

Billy: Oh…with magic?

Agatha: Yes

Rio: Actually I’m Nicky’s Father

Agatha: No you’re not

Rio: I was there

Billy: How?

Agatha: DON’T—

Rio: WHEN AGATHA AND I REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER—

[totally-correct-fandoms]

[flem17ng]

Just disfunctional coven things

[skittlebits]

Shortly after Thanos snapped (probably)

Thanos: I killed half the universe as a gift for you, my love.

Rio: Um, you snapped them out of existence. There’s nothing for me to reap.

Thanos: I-

Rio: -didn’t think it through? Yeah, figured. Maybe try smaller scale next time. For example, Agatha sunk the Titanic and torched a zeppelin for me a while back. Lots of bodies. It was really sweet.

Thanos: *mutters* Fucking Agatha Harkness.

Rio: Well, obviously.

[rexasaurus1]

I have no excuses for making this one.

[idkimboredrnsodoomscroll]

Jac Shaffer: ok guys we are going to film you guys falling top speed straight down on a broom presumably to your deaths, please give me your best scream.

Everyone: *screams terrified*

Aubrey Plaza: *witch cackle*

Producer: Aubrey no it’s a-

Jac Shaffer: No, let her cook

[hermslore]

AGATHA ALL ALONG TWEETS

(part 5)

two more days till my lesbians come back to me guys

discord saw most of this first

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Nicholas: You’re supposed to pour the milk first!

Rio: No, you pour the cereal first to see how much milk you need!

Nicholas: It tastes better milk first!

Rio: It tastes the same!

Nicholas: Why are you wearing my mom’s pants?

Rio: Milk first it is.

[aperfectlylesbian]

Rio: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Agatha, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls, wildflower?

Aradia, whispering: Because Abby and I have little hands, mama.

Agatha: Because they have little hands, my love.

[demonparmour]

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

[born-in-neverland03]

Agatha *talking to Nicky who's lying in his bed sleeping*: Mommy is gonna drop kick anyone that touches you.

Rio: And Daddy is gonny buy mommy out of jail.

[tremordusk]

Alice: I miss my mom

Rio: I was a mom once

Alice: you were?

Rio: *nods* well more like a father…

Alice: how were you a father?

Rio: I topped Agatha once and suddenly we had a kid—

Alice: *chokes on her cup of tea*

[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

Agatha: Okay but why are you guys bullying me so hard??

Jen: You’re dating death! Look at her!

Agatha looking at Rio, no skin and teeth all bared: She’s just kooky-

Jen: She’s a skeleton who takes the souls of the dead!

Agatha: Okay??? Would you rather have your soul taken by a man? I wouldn’t!

Billy: This is too much

Rio: I think my revel was better than yours little William

Agatha: Now now sweetheart no need to start arguing of course yours was better

Rio: Damn right it was

Jen: Wait so where’s Alice? Did you take her? Was she safe?

Rio: She was confused but ultimately did accept her death, she was very unnerved at my appearance but she couldn’t really say anything

Agatha: I love your skeleton look

Billy: You’re so down bad it looks desperate

Agatha shrugs: She’s my hot estranged wife who I haven’t seen in centuries, I’m surprised we haven’t snuck off somewhere yet

Rio: We can do if you want

Agatha: Okay-

Jen: No! Were not getting distracted, let’s just finish the road and then you two can do whatever you want with each other

Agatha: ¡vamos! Then

Rio: I love it when you speak Spanish