#including personality disorders

[library-fae]

honestly i hate the term personality disorder

its not anything about your personality, is your personality defined by your struggles? by your symptoms?

i personally feel like "personality disorder" also feels dehumanising and accusatory

its not anything wrong with someone's personality, it's a result of trauma and experience

we need to stop making people with personality disorders into the enemy, we are all human and deserving of love and care

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[thehealingsystem]

just a psa if you support borderlines but dont support those with narcissistic or antisocial or histrionic personality disorder then we dont want your support <3 ty

[seasidewanderers]

why are we in the year of the lord 2024 still comfortable calling survivors liars and fakers? seriously. why are we still doing this. syscourse has learned nothing from the past 5 years or so. it's an endless cycle.

[heliomanteia]

Organizing & contamination OCD Will Solace 🤝🏼 OCPD Annabeth Chase friendship forever in my head.

[bpdboyfriend]

some people need to be drug out into the street and shot repeatedly and then their corpse pissed on and ripped apart by wild dogs

[heartless-aro]

Although it’s important that those of us in the aromantic community correct the assumption that ALL of us fit into the “cold emotionless aro” stereotype, it is just as important that we remember some aros do fit that stereotype, and that that’s okay. Some aros, especially neurodivergent aros, not only don’t love but also lack empathy, lack interest in close emotional bonds, don’t feel sadness/grief/anger/fear when they’re supposed to, have trouble expressing and/or feeling intense emotions, etc.

It’s very easy to fall into the trap of trying to justify our collective humanity and right to exist by attempting to distance ourselves from these individuals. However, in doing so, we not only harm many individual members of our community but also stifle the aro community as a whole. We are a community that relies heavily on dismantling the notion that certain feelings — namely romantic feelings — are a prerequisite for humanity. We cannot afford to undermine that goal by throwing “cold” and “scary” aros under the bus to make ourselves look more palatable. And even if we could afford to do so, it would not be worth it to gain societal approval of our identity at the expense of the actual people in our community.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it

Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.

[some-pers0n]

One of my least favourite parts of the internet is how the users gentrify terms and butcher languages that originates from marginalized communities and turn it into a quirky cute thing that eventually becomes outdated and old if you still say it or do it. I'm so sorry for black Americans and neurodivergent communities for AAVE and terms invented by them being used out of context by people who don't understand the background and having it turn into "internet slang"

[autumnoakes]

daily reminder that neurodiversity and neurodivergence include so many more disorders than just autism and ADHD 💜

[vaelylis]

while everyone is here if you believe in "narcissistic abuse", general "cluster b abuse" or refer to people as narcissists you can unfollow me because literally those people can go fuck themselves 😭

[cupboard-of-npd]

Ofc you like marina it came free with your fuckin npd

[avpdyapping]

who else up feeling inhuman due to circumstances out of their control

[eclaire-went-bam]

npd is funny bcs not everyone in my inner circle is necessarily an equal person. most of y'all dumb as hell & yea i think i'm better overall (except for my one friend who follows this acc u know who u r ilysm<222) ! still enjoy u guys though, infinitely moreso than everyone else

there needs to be a level under equal person, but above your Average Commoner™ & all the people who'd consider me a friend, but i feel nothing towards despite continuously hanging out with them

the npd hierarchies are crazy & very strict but i don't have words for most of the tiers

[avpdpossum]

i might try to do a deep dive into the conflicted avoidant subtype at some point, and maybe the self-deserting subtype after that. every time i read the descriptions of them, i’m struck by how accurately they describe me, and i wish there was more info about the subtypes out there

[4letteraroace]

do not give a girl (me) access to a pair of tweezers and a magnifying mirror