aavpdyapping

[aavpdyapping]

Honestly I think one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself is to separate your negative qualities from your identity.

Instead of saying “I’m lazy,” saying “I’ve made a habit of not doing work unless it’s absolutely necessary.” Instead of saying “I’m a bad friend,” saying “I haven’t communicated as much as I should with the people I care about.”

By being specific about your problems, and by framing it as an action that you are consciously either working on or ignoring rather than an unchangeable part of who you are, you allow yourself to accept your mistakes and work constructively on them instead of pretending they didn’t happen or wallowing in blaming yourself.

[aavpdyapping]

Just as i atarted warming up to my support worker and feeling comfortable around her, I'm told that she's leaving and now several someone elses will be working with me. Im so tired.

[aavpdyapping]

Another fun little way I've been challenging my avpd: infinity nikki

its a free open world fashion/gacha game. I like playing dress up and running around and collecting things. There's a camera/photo mode, and when you take photos you can leave "snapshots". Basically just lets others see your photos if they stumble upon them, and lets them take a photo with you, like a ghost group photo. idk the game explained it better

But sometimes when I take photos, I click the option to have them be snapshots. Sometimes people see them and leave likes, or even takes a photo with me. When i come across snapshots, i try to leave a like on them and, if I'm feeling really brave, take a photo with them. Sometimes I even leave a little caption/note. Everyone seems really nice so far, we're all just playing a fun little dress up game

another way I've been challenging my avpd is by using letterboxd. Logging what movies I watch, and I do my best to write a review for every one, even if it's it just a "I liked this 👍"

It's good because it

makes me be Visible and leave evidence of my existence (even if no one actually reads my logs/reviews haha)

makes me Expose Myself (share what I'm watching and when) in a safer environment where there can't really be any judgement

makes me express my thoughts (writing reviews) and getting used to the idea that I'm allowed to have thoughts and opinions and that I'm allowed to say them, and that I can't be "wrong". reviewing films is very subjective, it's just what I personally liked, there's no wrong answers

[aavpdyapping]

Im seeing a support worker 3 times a week now, three hours each time, and its killing me i feel like im drowning

[aavpdyapping]

bad depressive episode. Idk what to do

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On Isolation

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Im meeting with a support worker three days a week now, for three hours at a time. Its rough how exhausting it is, and how scary it is to be outside and with someone for that long, and it leaves me stuck in bed for the rest of the day. But it'll get better

[aavpdyapping]

i love you everybody who is trying to save their own life & love themselves back into the world, it's gonna happen for you don't doubt for a second!!!!!!!!!!!!

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sometimes to try and pull myself out of suicidal thoughts, I imagine my cause of death written on my tombstone. usually the ridiculousness of it pulls me out of it. "here lies [redacted]. died of suicide after clogging the toilet"

[aavpdyapping]

avpd is scared of me (i finally sent an email to the school counselor after many weeks of postponing my plans of doing it out of distrust and my fear of being judged). i like to think that it's one of my biggest achievements this february!! since it took a lot of courage.

~

[aavpdyapping]

They should invent a isolating yourself from everything and everyone that is healthy

[aavpdyapping]

OP's note: if you're not sure whether your experience falls into intrusive thoughts or fantasies, vote the second to last option.

[aavpdyapping]

older siblings will bully you your entire childhood and openly resent you and then turn around and go "oh I wish I couldve been there for you when we were younger...." you were there. you were yelling at me.

[aavpdyapping]

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