#in the end it consumed him
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I think the description of Benson and Randy's relationship as "parasocial" is quite apt. Benson says "I've been watching you, and I know for a fact..." He posits that Randy is not like anyone else in their small shitty town, that there's something uniquely 'fixable' about him. It's something that Benson stakes most of his motivation on throughout the movie 'it was the only thing I believed' and in some ways this is reflected in Randy as truth, but sometimes the character traits Benson projects onto Randy just fall short of reality. Randy says that his mom held him back a grade and Benson paints the picture of a domineering authority figure that Randy must rebel against, And clearly believes this is the case based on the tenacity with which he listens to--and disapproves of-- Randy's conversation with his mother on the phone. However listening to the conversation is just dull. His mom does come across as over bearing, pointing out the number of rings it took him to pick up, but she's otherwise normal compared to the image Benson seems to have of her. Same with Lisa. Benson strolled into the mall with Randy as though a great revelation was to be made, like Lisa was this monumental event in Randy's life, but Randy and Lisa's relationship was underwhelming. They were briefly dating in highschool and they broke it off rather amicably because Randy was not an emotionally fulfilling partner to Lisa. Randy claims not to know why Lisa broke up with him, and to Benson this is an injustice, but in reality it's just Randy being a little obtuse and naive about Lisa's emotional needs. Lisa could've been more transparent about why the relationship ended but they were kids, and she took the path of little resistance, likely in an attempt to spare Randy's feelings. There's nothing unique or life-altering about Lisa and Randy. Benson seems to project this false narrative onto Randy--and the rest of the world, tbh-- that is further highlighted by Marsha's character, who is another NPC that Benson decides to codify within his world view. Marsha once again deviates from the role Benson believes she fits in, standing up to him and rebelling against the notion that all other people in this town are aimless and complacent. Part of me wondered, after they went to Beard's house, why Randy's 'transformation' felt flat for me, and part of it is because the journey Randy takes is somewhat belied by the fact that Benson did not do any of that for Randy. Not any real version of Randy, anyway. Benson did it for a made up version of Randy in his head and he went along with it because there was a gun at his back.
#idrk#it's an interesting aspect of Bensons psychology#the passenger 2023#the passenger#randy bradley#Benson#like it makes me wonder about Randy's home life#the glimpses we get of it are just incredibly mundane#a sister that does dance an overinvolved mother#he was on good enough terms with Lisa that he knew where she worked years later#like i fully believe randy has friends outside of work#benson sees him as this total loser but like#hes justa guy. he was going to get a promotion#he had an asshole coworker and was maybe a little fixated on something he did when he was seven#but randy just seems very normal to me#i think in deciding that Randy was different and fixable benson was actually just acting out the hope that he himself was fixable#that maybe if he could save this young loser coworker from a job that he hated and a life repressing his emotions and never moving past his#trauma then benson too could have hope for himself#and so the end of the movie is kind of a juxtaposition for me#yes there was hope for Randy#there was#randy got to move on with his life got to have his character evolution got to process the traumatic event from his fundamental years#but benson very much did not#in the end it consumed him#and that's sad#anyways#things i think about instead of the impending biochem exam
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Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2
#in anticipation of the incoming remake#i tried my best to imitate the SH font but#silent hill#silent hill 2#angela#angela orosco#theme of laura (reprise)#i've said it before but in spite of its occasionally clunky diction i think silent hill 2 is an unusually emotionally intelligent game#for any year and still today but especially so for where gaming storytelling was in 2001#and for as many pitfalls a story like hers could've dipped into i think it particularly shines through with how they treated angela#not just choosing to depict victimhood as something that can be ugly and fractious and open quote “difficult” but then this#actively rebuffing james for trying to be a white knight and dressing him down for it too#“i know you mean well and want to help but this isn't a simple problem"#“and it's really hurtful and a bit insulting that you act like you can”#the switching to a first person view turning it into an address to the player as well#maybe even old videogame tropes too#“this isn't some princess in a castle kind of situation dude this is more serious than that”#it felt like a very deliberate statement about the depth and severity of a trauma like this#and in doing so showing it so much respect#there is no quick easy solution to this and you won't get one#then angela just leaves#and you never see her again#i really don't think it was to imply that it consumed her i think it was to underline what was just said#this isn't your problem to fix#this is where your part in this story ends#there's some strength in that
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separate ways
#so i became utterly consumed by pre-war dratchet#they make me so damn sad#like i don't think they could've understood each other very well back then#even millions of years later ratchet's still kinda functionist about his hands. probably since he's always been intimately connected to aut#so no one gives him shit and he's probably rarely had to imagine himself in someone else's position#meanwhile drift had nothing#ratchet: why don't you get a job#drift (stuck in the dead end for a reason):#but at the same time ratchet cared enough to try to help and drift remembers that and udgfdhhdhdh#they match beautifully in mtmte/ll. guy who's never belonged anywhere. guy who's always belonged somewhere#guy who made a place for himself by killing. guy who kept his place by healing#born-again guy. tenured guy finally thinking of deviating from the job he was assigned at birth#but also i kinda needed to practice 3d modeling for work. but also i really really wanted to try fake etching because i like the metallic l#so here's something vaguely metaphorical born of my desire to everything at once#maccadam#dratchet#transformers idw#tf ratchet#tf drift#my art
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Haven't been able to think about anything other than the victorian/edwardian/WW1 twink and his 80's punk almost-boyfriend for a week, send help
#this tv show has consumed my every thought#it's like tumblr catnip#go watch it#it will eat away at your brain#there's also a butch lesbian butcher#an autistic manga loving weirdo (my beloved)#and a badass psychic who's also a mess#WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT?#updating the post bc the reblogs lead me on a WILD wiki rabbit hole about the eras of England#okay so Edwin is born in 1900 which means he was born 1 year before the end of the Victorian era (1837-1901) so technically he's a victoria#baby who lived his childhood in the Edwardian era (1901-1910) and his teens in the pre/start of WW1 era (started in 1914)#until he was killed :( in 1916#so my boy here lived though MANY historical events and time periods#shout out to my victorian/edwardian/WW1 twink#history is very fun and this is why i love this website bc where else would i have to do research for my blorbo?#I do however find it very funny if Gaiman named him Edwin in honour of the Edwardian time period he grew up in#I love that man and it wouldn't surprise me if he turned out to be a history nerd (affectionate) like the rest of you#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko dbd#dbd#please feel free to dm me about history i adore it
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nii satoru, give us suosaku in maid outfits and my life is yours 🙇🙇
#wind breaker nii satoru#suosaku#sakura haruka#suo hayato#wind breaker#nii satoru#my art#yeah so wind breaker has consumed me recently#sakura is so precious i want nothing but the best but to also tease him to no end
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Market based mistakes.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen chao#wen zhuliu#Apologies for how much I skipped in the last part of this episode.#I do love the scene of Jiang Cheng regaining his will to live and the ensuing scenes of Wei Wuxian seeing him off at the mountain base.#At the same time I very much want to keep pressing on with the story.#The notes I have are for scenes I did not draw:#I still think a lot about the symbolism of food in both consumption and giving - especially in regards to the Yunmeng Trio.#Prior to JC leaving we see WWX out buying food for him. Something that initially falls through as JC runs back to Lotus Pier.#But here it comes back full circle. WWX gives away a part of himself to be 'consumed' by Jiang Cheng.#It is about being led by desire (JC wanting revenge to losing his will to live to wanting his core back)#and about being bound by duty to do whatever it takes to see those desires through to the end.#JC can't eat until he has his desire to live back. WWX carves out his own ambitions to help another reach theirs.#And it isn't held up as noble! Not even once! He is routinely punished and criticized for this sacrifice.#Being thrown into the burial mounds really is just symbolism for how we can give away every scrap of ourselves to others-#-and find ourselves at rock bottom. Alone.#When you hollow yourself out it just leaves room for something else to fill it. Something worse.
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i run out of ideas for cayde
#in the end i still don't know how to draw him#you know#after i played this game for a year and he died in front of my fucking face#i still hate bungie for doing that#someone please add him back to the game#my inspirations are from actually playing the game i can't do this without him#i don't even wanna play the game now#(unless there's big fluffy huggable elliksni in the next episode mmmmmmmmmmmm)#i said i love him the most but seriously i can't come up with good plot for him#just like houndy. yeah.#and im not doing his portrait again i will literally vomit#i don't even wanna look for it to know when i did that#must be at least 3 months ago considering im being consumed by wf#sigh#how the hell do you draw faces#destiny 2#destiny hunter#cayde 6#destiny 2 art#my art
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I enjoy a good Vietnam!Soda fic as much as the next angst-loving soul, and I will gobble up as many PTSD fics as you can throw at me. But with that in mind, I think they’re all wrong. 😂
I think Soda went to Vietnam fearless, bright and shining as the day he was born. None of this terror, or angst, shaking hands and teary eyes—I don’t think it ever really occurred to him that he might die. Soda, who never quite understood the seriousness of the world. Soda, who’d lost more loved ones in 16 years than some people do in a lifetime, but never lost his laughter. I think he read the draft notice and saw it as just another adventure—just another rumble, a thrill and a dance, a fight to one-up all his other buddies’ fights.
The day he left, he hugged his brothers tight. Slapped Darry on the shoulder, ruffled Pony’s hair, yelled “see ya soon!” before racing off across the airport tarmac. Duffel bag flung over his shoulder. Hair wild in the wind. Bright, beautiful, immortal.
He never fought in a single battle.
He died the day he landed, in the vehicle driving him to base, caught in a landmine the metal detectors should have found. He died with a joke on his lips. He died in seconds. That greaser boy from the East Side, who flunked in everything but mechanics and gym—doomed by the narrative, he never stood a chance.
But it’s alright. Because the real tragedy would have been if he lived.
Soda wasn’t meant to grow old, the way roses aren’t meant to live past summer. And he wasn’t meant to come home from a war that would have twisted him into something unrecognizable. Broken, a shell of his former glory, ruined beyond repair. A version of Soda that would never, ever be Soda again.
Death came before the war destroyed him. He never trembled in the trenches or slogged through jungle mud, never watched a buddy bleed out or saw his own bullet tear the soul from a body. He died before he knew what fear truly meant. He died young, still laughing, thinking about his brothers, believing in goodness, believing he would live forever.
Sodapop Curtis died golden.
#why do I hurt myself like this#gentle reminder that vietnam ISN’T CANON susie said so#vietnam au really is twisted because it assigns the most grisly fate to the purest character#like. no thank you. you can’t just destroy his entire essence like that#it’s worse than killing him#soda is not peeta from the hunger games you can’t do him like that#I will continue to consume angsty vietnam fics because I love them#but the only correct end for soda is to go out in a blaze of glory#beautiful and untouched#just too damn good for growing old#sodapop curtis#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#the outsiders movie
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Divine Signal
After Danny became king his level of meanness towards Vlad only increased. In his defense, the vampire ghost had been a nuisance for too many years to pass up, and now that he could command him the situation was hilarious.
However, at some point Vlad got tired. When Danny commented that he wanted to take some vacations, he decided to took that literally and threw him straight into a black hole, yelling "Have a good trip!", Vlad wasn't sure if the black hole was really a portal to another dimension like the rumors said but it was worth the try, is not like the King could die twice. And the stars would calm him down if it fails.
At the same time, Desiree had sneaked into Clockwork's lair to observe his time windows (something the time master was fully aware of), and heard Jason sigh in resignation and say, "I wish I had someone to love, someone similar to me" with a sad voice; Although he was good at hiding it, Jason had always wanted a romance like the one described in his books.
So of course, she fulfilled his wish. Which ended with Danny being transported to the DC universe via a wormhole and falling straight into Jason's arms, who just stared up at the sky in amazement.
#danny phantom#dp x dc#danny fenton#dc x dp#jason todd#ghost king danny#dead on main#red hood#jason todd x danny fenton#Jason is not sure how to react#can he wish for another thing?#or it was a one time-consuming thing?#At least the boy is cute#he is not complaining about that#Danny was extremely confused when Vlad just throw him to a black hole#But he ended having a good trip#and the view is amazing#maybe he can stay a little longer#Clockwork did that on purpose#perfect vacations and maybe a wedding#Jason is not going to contact the bats#his fallen angel now#if God wanted to hear his pleas then why not#Danny usually have fun tormenting Vlad out of pettiness#deadonmain#Jason is still questioning if Danny is a divine signal tho
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No one and I mean NO ONE understands how much I think about this photo
#BC THE HEARTBREAK#THE PAIN THIS BOY HAS GONE THROUGH#HE IS FOURTEEN YEARS OLD#AND HE HAS GONE THROUGH SHIT WE CANT EVEN IMAGINE#AND HE LOST THE PERSON WHO KNEW HIM MOST IN THE ENTIRE WORLD#AND HE BECAME SO CONSUMED IN GRIEF AND DEPRESSION THAT ONLY A FINAL MESSAGE FROM JOHNNY COULD HELP HIM WORK TOWARDS GETTING BETTER#AND IM TIRED OF PEOPLE SAYING OH WELL THERE WAS NO ACTUALY RESOLUTION#CORRECT?? BECAUSE HIS GRIEF DOESNT MAGICALLY GO AWAY?? ITS WITH HIM FOREVER?? HE JUST LEARNS TO LIVE WITH IT??#IT ENDS WITH US KNOWING HE ISNT OKAY BUT HE WILL BE SOMEDAY#GOD ITS SO GOOD#I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOREVER#AND THIS SPECIFIC SCENE AND PHOTO#FOR HOURS#NO ONE UNDERSTANDS#AGHDHSH#the outsiders musical#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders#ponyboy curtis
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my turn to do discourse! yay! anyway i think the jedi whose return they named an entire movie after is anakin skywalker
#considering the central question of the movie is whether he still exists or if he's been so consumed by hate that he's gone forever#and the big triumph of the movie is him abandoning the vader thing and saying “yes i do still exist”#i would argue that destroying the second death star is presented as like an afterthought triumph compared to this#yes luke does go several places in this movie but i don't think they named the whole thing for the “look who's back from dagobah” moment#and if it's about The Jedi as a collective group they forgot to have any of the characters at all show any sign of that#at the end it's just luke and some ghosts and no one is saying anything about rebuilding the order. the whole focus is on anakin being back#anakin skywalker#darth vader
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Gai saw a man burn alive and longed to be engulfed in the same flames. His idea of heroism was tainted from the start, a sacrifice of self to power, so much power you die. Anything less is not good enough. He has never valued his life as anything other than his status and name. He wanted nothing more than to burn after he released the 8th gate. He was kept alive as punishment for his ego, Maito Gai needed to learn how to live life as a human being.
#maito gai#might guy#I see a lot of people shame kishi for not killing him#like that’s cowardice#or disrespectful to gai#it is disrespectful to what gai wants that’s true#but what gai wanted was a reflection of everything wrong with him#the man that cried seeing what he did to Lee in the Chunin exams#before immediately letting him risk his life to be put back in an arena#gai learned no lessons in his life#he perverted the idea of power from the start#he only saw what self destruction looked like when it seeped out onto Lee#and that was not enough#because he is consumed by ego#and life refused him a hero’s end#gai cannot win. it would be a disgrace to his character. all we have seen him do is win until this point
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Thinking about punk herstory again...
#vivenne westwood#johnny rotten#the damned#new york dolls#malcolm mclaren#adam ant#this is a niche meme for my fellow punk historians#I've just been obsessed with punk history recently because ive been reading a book about goth history#and ive seen a few original punks#and just been consuming a lot of old punk and goth#Malcolm McLaren fascinates me because hes such a prick i cant believe hes fucked over so many bands#hes like grunkle stan if he was a punk manager#for context#johnny rotten hates him because he mismanaged them and wouldnt pay them and started piL in retaliation#adam ant asked him to make him a really big pop star and after a few months kicked adam out of his own band 😭#got the new York dolls to preform in a comminist get up which casused so much controversy they disbanded#and got everyone to turn against the damned and poser shamed them because he was pissed that they made a record before sex pistols#im sure u all know about how he and vivenne Westwood ran their punk clothing line Sex and managed and dressed all their bands#then they went rockabilly (every punk has a rockabilly era)#then it was sex#and after punk they liked pirates and rebranded to Worlds end and basically made new romantic fashion
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Did Brambleclaw actually disown the Three when the secret is revealed? I don't remember this happening (then again, it's been a while) but it does bug me how all three go "Poor brambleclaw :(( He was such a good dad to us and he has to learn we're not even his biokits :(((( poor guy" while simultaneously shitting on Leafpool and Squirrelflight despite them showing them more care and affection before AND after the reveal. If he does disown them, then.... WOW is the double standard real here.
In-canon? It's something you have to approximate. They don't seem to have a concept of ""disowning"" because blood relation is taken as such an insurmountable, FUNDAMENTAL fact of life. He doesn't write them out of his little kitty will and testament, but his actions ARE disowning.
It's as if the fact he is not their biological father is an automatic disowning. From the reveal onwards, he is immediately cold, distant, and the "betrayal" is mentioned often. The Three also explicitly don't blame him for his behavior, like it's just to be expected that he's Not Their Dad anymore.
Lionblaze in particular stares longingly at him several times, really missing him. And like... that's kinda what gets my goat so much
I do believe Brambleclaw is entitled to his feelings of betrayal. I believe Squilf was ultimately in the right to lie, actually, but he's still allowed to be upset and angry that she didn't trust him enough to tell him something so important. THAT SAID, YOU ARE NEVER ENTITLED TO TREAT OTHERS POORLY.
And that's what GETS me. He isn't upset that it was all revealed in such a painful and embarassing way when this could have been avoided, or that his lover struggled with this lie for so long without him, or that he feels he's lost his children. Squilf points it out in The Last Hope-- He's so ANGRY at Squilf that he will THROW HIS FAMILY AWAY
Lionblaze seems desperate to be his son again. Hollyleaf is gone for months, and Brambleclaw is still huffing about the secret when she comes back from the dead. Squilf is fawning in the hopes it makes him talk to her again. Doesn't matter. Brambleclaw Is Upsetti Spaghetti so the narrative will never examine his role in hurting this family he apparently loved so much.
(Narrative seems to understand full well that when Squilf lies for a good reason, that doesn't invalidate the hurt Brambleclaw felt... but when Brambleclaw is upset for a good reason, it actually DOES validate what he put her and his kids through)
In BB it is explicitly a disowning. He cuts them off as his children, and they reciprocate. BB!Lionblaze does so in a ball of fury, vowing that he has ONLY a mother.
#It does start getting.... ''better'' after oots. On the disowning front#Lion seems to be fixing his relationship with him#Which... actually is something I dislike tbh#Can we pls get canon acknowledgement of the Little Pogchamp scene where he lets Ash beat his son#And downplays this to holly#Pls#Idk i just feel lion makes a better mama's boy#Really close to squilf and then like... tries to get close to Leafp too but it just. Cant click.#In this very sad but also kind of validating way#Leafp isnt his mom... she didn't raise him. But shes still his aunt. She still loves him as ferociously as she always did#The reveal changed nothing about his family. In the end.#It truly was just a reveal.#(And then he stares angrily and also forlornly at bramble)#Bramblestar is honestly a very interesting character if you choose to take him at face value#And wade through the writer favoritism#I keep coming back to him man.#Such an incredibly mundane and honest type of terrible#Always consumed by his pride and terrible lack of self esteem. Everyone wants you to be better. But you keep messing up#Your honor. I hate him. I have a picture of him in my heart shaped locket.#I am putting him in an exhibit. I am blasting him with a hose.
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Crowley Of The Day: gorgeous 😍
(I used up all my hashtags that I couldn’t do my usual GO tags that I always do lol I don’t care)
#personal update#I got into Trolls#but I mean really really really into it#new fixation the brainrot is unstoppable#it’s all I think about I’m to the point that I need all Trolls content to survive#all Trolls content HAND IT OVER! merch fanart fics ALL OF IT#I’m so in love with Branch Floyd and John Dory#Rock Zombie Branch is sooooooo#and so I’d Rock Zombie Poppy#I AM THE NUMBER ONE JOHN FORY DEFENDER LEAVE HIM ALONE HE DID NOTHING WRONG AND DOESNT DEAERVE THE HATE HE GETS#I need what Broppy have oh my fucking god it’s so cute the love they have for each other it’s consuming me#and I need more of Branch and Clay those two rule following safety loving nerds would have such a great relationship#DID YOU SEE CLAY FAWNING OVER BRANCH WHEN THEY REUNITED SQUISHING HIS CHEEKS#THATS HIS BABY BROTHER AND HES AS CUTE NOW AS HE WAS WHEN HE WAS A BABY#AND THE ENDING WHEN HE TOLD HIM HE WAS SORRY FOR MISSING HIM GROW UP BUT COULDNT WAIT FOR THWM TO HANG OUT NOW#everyone focuses on Branch and Floyd but I NEED BRANCH AND CLAY#Speaking of Floyd I love him so much. he’s all I think about. that is if I’m not thinking of Branch#John Dory is everything to me? like I’m obsessed with him in a different way. like I said I’ll defend him every single time#BRUUUUUUUCE!!! 💞💞💞💞💞#Trolls 3 is still in cinemas and I’ve literally been going to rewatch it once a week#no joke I’m going again this Wednesday#AND I HAVE THE FILM AT HOME! I have all 3 of them and I watch them every day#I’m telling you the brainrot is unstoppable I am going insane#People apparently don’t like when I talk about any other interest of mine especially Trolls#it’s like I’m almost not allowed to talk about anything other than Good Omens#so since people don’t like me doing permanent posts YOU’RE GETTING IT IN THE TAGS#okay I’m done…. for now.#Crowley#Crowley Of The Day#Good Omens
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My own spicy headcannon about Lonelyeyes I'm shocked to have never found fics based on it's that Peter and Elias actually take the whole "messing with the attorneys" from two very different angles.
Peter is the one that goes by the classic let's drive them mad, assuming their annoyance and being deeply invested in the procedure will end up isolating them from their relationships even if temporarially. Elias either goes to making the attorney feel their reputation is at risk and people might realize they don't know some obscure specific law Elias convinces the attorney is actually super important and any good lawyer would know OR Elias uses the thing as a way to train his manipulation/provoke Peter.
Now that's to say that a lot of times Elias will try to convince the attorney he is the sympathetic one on the divorce or even the victim. He'll sometimes go to the point were he almost exposes real secrets about Peter and the Lukas family or even fully convinces the attorney Peter should be arrested but gives up on pressing charges last minute (all to see Peter squim). He will go full "I just... I don't understand why I keep coming back. *fake tears* I'm terrifield that after this divorce I'll just marry him again... I... I must look rather pathetic don't I?" on an attorney while going "Oh, you know *quotes the most obscure marriage law possible* would apply here, I assume. I saw very little about legislation on college but that one seemed quite a central law. You must know better of course, I mean I can't imagine a client that would choose a lawyer that doesn't even know that. No offense to any of your lesser prepared collegues of course." on a different divorce.
Peter never knows wich one he'll take until the procedure but at this point he learned how to get ready for both.
#elias bouchard#jonah magnus#jonah is a horrible person and has no moral limits#peter lukas#peter does enjoy the divorces still because they do deeply consume the lawyer and do end up isolating him#also it gives him an excuse to ignore elias for a bit#lonelyeyes#tma#the magnus archives
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