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Ohhhh

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if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

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The fun thing about picking up a cat from the street is that they know a negative amount of rules and will commit entirely new crimes

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Bro I fucking love the DB Cooper case nothing about this whole situation sounds real. None of the passengers on the plane realized they were being hijacked until the plane landed two hours after it was supposed to and the fbi showed up with suitcases full of money. The note about the bomb almost went unnoticed because the flight attendant thought she was being sexually harassed so she didn't read it. One of the main suspects was the first trans woman in Washington to have a sex change operation. A reporter who was so dead set on his suspect that he brought him to court was so upset about being wrong that he went catatonic and was treated with electroshock therapy and it WORKED. There's been multiple "I'm DB Cooper" death confessions. He never even SAID his name was DB Cooper. Either he got away with a million bucks in today's money and the most iconic and harmless crime American history or he impaled himself on a pine tree while falling a zillion miles an hour in the dark while clutching duffel bags full of cash and either option is equally hilarious. He wore a clip on tie. He committed an act of sky piracy. What in the fucking looney toons

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what do u guys think about lesbo dykes

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normally it's frustrating when mystery games hand you answers on a silver plate but in ace attorney, the witnesses' tendencies to conveniently say far more than what they were asked for is so hilarious that it becomes its own reward. ace attorney witnesses will be asked what time they saw the murder and they'll say it was 10:40 and they know it was exactly that time because that's the exact minute they open the can of Fancy Feast to feed their elderly russian blue cat, father of 12 kittens and phoenix will be like umm actually i spoke to your cat and here's a written affidavit from him that there was a recall on Fancy Feast and also he's never been to russia nor known the touch of a woman. you're going to jail buddy

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thanks for the requests!

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Nick November/Nickvember day 24

Reblogs are appreciated~

Trucy forced him to upgrade his phone!

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Enough 'Lee from the tea shop' jokes in the fandom, I need more people considering 'Kuzon from school' jokes. Like the scenario is funny as hell. This kid shows up out of nowhere. Says he's from the colonies. Talks back to the teachers. He's super nice. The school bully tries to fight Kuzon and he effortlessly humiliates him. The school bully's girlfriend and a bunch of other girls like him and he doesn't even care. Kuzon then organizes an illegal party. He shows off some moves and teaches them how to dance. He dances with a very pretty girl they don't know. The school principal and some cops turn up to arrest him and bam, he's gone. All that in like, two days. I bet he became a legend in the school, so imagine if one day he sees one of the kids again and he's recognized and he's like 'Actually my name isn't Kuzon, I'm Avatar Aang 😄' and they're like 'damn Kuzon from the colonies is the Avatar?'

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love and freedom don’t coexist, warden

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First off, click here.

The wheel just assigned you one of the Worldwide Box Office Winners from the past 35 years. (No 2024 because we don't know that winner, yet.)

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i swear every pitbull featured verse i hear im like "this is just fucking nonsense"

this is not a fucking verse

dude

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Cracking one of these bad bois open & sharing with my mutuals

'Tis the season

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Boulders in now abandoned Dogtown, MA. In the 1930s Roger Babson commissioned unemployed stonecutters to engrave 35 boulders with “inspirational” phrases after the announcement of the stock market crash that would lead to the Great Depression.