#in terms of the base trope at least

[randomjreader]

What I'm really loving about Hidden Agenda so far is the fact that it's not exactly your typical university romance story. Like with my school president, they're not trying to hide the fact that one of them has always been into the other, and make us "finding out" about that crush a big plot point. It has been very early established that Joke likes Zo, hell it was basically part of the premise of this series long before it started airing. What they're trying to draw audiences in with is the fact that Joke is masterminding his way into Zo's heart, and the anticipation is in finding out how he succeeds, given his current methods of being slightly cold and aloof (so really, quite like Tinn from msp, except we got Tinn's confirmed whipped ass pov by the first episode)

[tenok]

.

[lilacsandlillies]

I was going through the anti Jason Todd tag because I hate myself and want to understand where people who dislike him are coming from and one thing I kept seeing was annoyance at Jason fans who claim that Jason is female coded and realized that the term “female coded” might not be the best term to describe what we mean.

A female coded character in literature and media typically means a character that has no specified gender or otherwise does not have a gender but is obviously meant to be a stand in for a woman or female. Kind of like how Starfire has no specified race (due to being an alien) but is still obviously black coded based on the way she’s drawn and treated by the narrative.

This is slightly different than what we mean when saying that Jason is female coded. It’s not that Jason is literally supposed to be a stand in for a female character, it’s that the way a lot of characters treat him and a lot of the tropes used on him are things that usually saved for female characters, not big buff men like Jason.

To start with, being Robin is narratively (or at least was) very similar to being a woman in a story. Robin is a role made to complement Batman (who we all know is basically the ultimate male power fantasy). Robin’s role is to be an accessory to Batman. Robin can be smart, but not smarter than Batman. Robin can be strong, but not stronger than Batman. Hell, Robin is often kidnapped and used as a literal damsel in distress, a role often regulated for women as a whole.

What sets Jason apart from the other robins (except for Steph) in this regard is that they were allowed to be characters outside of Batman. Dick might not have been the “man” of the story when he’s with Bruce, but when he’s with the teen titans suddenly he’s the smart one who has all the answers. Jason’s Robin was never really allowed this.

Then we get to the most, controversial, part of Jason’s female coding. The fact the he was effectively fridged. Fridging is usually only referred to as frigding if it’s a female character, but Jason’s death checks pretty much all the other boxes needed. An incredibly brutal death that was more about Bruce’s feelings on it than Jason himself.

This is especially apparent when compared to the other Bat characters. For all the female coding, the only other Robin to actually be fridged was Steph (and we all know about the misogyny surrounding her death). Barbara was also kind of fridged during the killing Joke. The only female character to escape this is Cass (to my knowledge). When you look at it through this lens, the fact that the only other characters to be permanently damaged like this for Bruce’s story are female, it’s not hard to see where the idea that Jason is female coded comes from.

You can even find this in Jason’s origin story. Poor little orphan is saved by benevolent billionaire is a role usually saved for little girls, like in Annie.

Despite what you might think, this even continues after Jason’s revival. Jason is still used less as a character and more as a motivation for Bruce. He’s regularly called emotional and hysterical (terms usually used to refer to women).

Jason is first and foremost a victim. A role performed by women in most media. Men are expected to be stoic and “rise above” the things done to them as to not be victims, as continuously shown by the way characters like Nightwing are not allowed to be effected by the horrific things they go through. The fact that Jason is shown the be angry, and sad, and emotional, constantly, and the fact that he’s punished and vilified for it puts him in a place much more similar to a female character.

There’s a reason that so many Jason fans (that like him for a reason past “antihero with guns”) are female. For most characters, when you swap their genders there would be a pretty clear and big difference in the way their story takes place. If you swap Jason’s gender, the story takes place identically.

A lot of this is best shown in men’s reactions to Arkham Knight’s version of Jason. In that game, Jason is similarly angry and emotional, albeit for slightly different reasons. He is also still unmistakably a victim. You’d think the men playing would like him. After all he’s a big cool angsty guy with a lot of guns and muscles. Instead, a lot of men’s thought that he was whiny. That his feelings were annoying.

There’s also something to be said about how his autonomy is regularly undermined by Bruce (specifically in Gotham war) and how his decisions and feeling are constantly treated as if they’re worth less than Bruce’s, but that’s a discussion for another day.

[pinkaditty]

high libido jiro headcanon actually has me doing front flips omlll

this is actually a great time 2 share: im writing a long hc post about the ghouls and what i believe their sexual behaviors would be. this was partially inspired by Obey Me!, due to the sins attributing to certain characters manifesting in different ways. for example, both Solomon and Asmodeus have the sin of Lust, right? however, Asmodeus's sin manifests as physical lust, whereas Solomon's manifests as a lust for knowledge. I was thinking about how the ghouls essentially make pacts with demons, and demons typically are tied to a sin, right? i used the classic Seven Deadly Sins, and attributed a sin to each ghoul. im writing their sexual behaviors based off of those sins and how they manifest.

Sneak peek below (edited to be more concise, will be lengthier when officially posted, posting ONE character per house for this, please note that their blurbs are incomplete and i haven't posted all i have written):

I KNOW THIS IS LENGTHY BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO READ TO UNDERSTAND:

becoming a ghoul, as stated in the story, significantly increases your physical ability, battle prowess, and gives you a “stigma”, or a pact-based power. ghouls outrank humans in strength, resilience, and!!! aggression. while some ghouls are better-natured than others, it goes without saying that they all experience an increase in aggressive behaviors. this should be obvious, but when making a pact with a demon (fictionally speaking!!), i imagine that making such pacts with beings that are avatars of “sin” increases the desire to sin and decreases aversion to it. i like to think that indulging in sin becomes not exactly “necessary”, but vital in the sense that they can live without it but it makes human-esque day-to-day living harder. eventually the "sin" cravings get out of control and they have to indulge in some sort of sin, namely the sin they are the most associated with, because they “devoured” the demons they made pacts with. for example, say jin made a pact with a demon that specialized in sloth. when his cravings get out of control, he needs to indulge in sleeping in all day (or doing something similar) at least once. note that, like in Obey Me!, the sins may manifest differently. for example, i believe both jin and ren made pacts with demons that are sloth-based, but jin’s sin manifests in sleeping while ren’s manifests in avoidance.

as far as sexual behavior goes, the sins the ghouls participate in affect their sexual behavior, i think, just as they affect their personality and societal behaviors and interactions. for example, sloth-based ghouls may prefer doing little work during sex or have a preference for low effort positions; whereas glutton-based ghouls may prefer doing as much as possible, in as many positions possible, for as long as possible, regardless of how physically strenuous.

one more hc: it isn’t impossible, but it is excruciatingly tough for a ghoul to avoid (for lack of a better word) a creampie, if you will, when not wearing a condom. they are ghouls after all, and as such, will experience more aggressive and carnal sexual behaviors. contraception drugs with immediate effects are sold at the campus store LMFAOAOAOOA

Tohma Ishibashi (Greed-based):

this guy is power-hungry i fear, and thank goodness his boss is a sloth! he can pick up the leadership role all he wants. 

this guy is greedy bc he wants power for the sake of having it. y’know that trope where it’s really the king’s advisor pulling the strings? yea.

he wants more. he wants more. he wants more. 

without indulging myself too terribly much… if jin, alan, or haku had you, tohma would covet you even more than he already would if you were still single.

haha what? nevermind.

anyways we all already know how he indulges in his greed. how does he do so sexually?

in simple terms he wants more of everything from you

you suck him off? okay do it again. 

you came on his tongue? okay do it again. 

you clench your walls tight around his cock to make him cum faster? okay, after he recovers, do it again.

there can never be too much. if anything, there’s never enough.

Leo Kurosagi (Envy-based):

not gonna lie i kinda flip-flopped between greed and envy for him

but ultimately i think envy suits him best

i think envy is what spurs most, if not all, of his harmful or demeaning actions towards others

he’s jealous! god forbid someone do something better than he does. they’re guaranteed to become his next target. 

and it’s always personal, no matter how hard he tries to convince himself otherwise

because of this, i think he’d be selfish during sex

he wants more pleasure than his partner out of something, and if he’s not being directly stimulated, he wants something beneficial to him out of it

that said, he’s easy (i say this with love)

so it’s never a problem to convince him to do what you want, so long as you pay him back with interest later

its all about the trade! but lowkey he’s happy to do anything you ask, so long as you pay attention to him specifically. keep your eyes on him while he’s giving you head and i promise he’ll cum untouched.

Haru Sagara (Glutton-based):

my gluttony king…<3

can’t explain it i just feel it

he’s not greedy bc greed is wanting something for the sake of having it, while gluttony is wanting something for the pleasure of consuming it

consider him at Rui’s bar. always drinking too much.

consider him in his dorm. always working too much.

but does he enjoy it? yea. absolutely. even when he gripes he never says he’d rather do something else. 

he does it because it gives him pleasure, regardless of what way, which is what makes me believe he’s glutton-based

i think this guy’s a masochist that likes ass im not gonna hold y’all.

he hardly pays his own pain any mind, and if anything, seems to enjoy putting himself in pain for attention (more gluttony hints, he loves consuming attention)

and has not only brought up being smacked on the ass himself, but has smacked someone’s ass in the story. 

he also just repeatedly brings up ass regardless of whether or not the conversation had anything to do with it. 

he’s a horny guy i fear. i dunno. i just feel it. why do you think he likes those rabbit-like animals so much? he’s basically one himself. sex-loving freak (/affectionate!!).

he likes to go more than one round, and probably recovers quicker than most. 

once you’ve gone one round, unless this was a quickie in the kitchen while he’s making dinner or even in his room while Ren watches Peekaboo, you can expect at least one more, and at most four more. 

he likes quickies actually, let me just put that out there

Romeo Lucci (Pride-based):

you would THINK greed, i know, i get it, but i think that greed is just part of his personality. he’s just like that. PRIDE is the sin of the demon he devoured.

he wants you shivering in his presence. it fuels his ego. 

i don’t think he cares for the money as much as he cares about his ego. i think the income the casino makes fuels his ego as the guy running it, so he always wants record profits to fuel his ego.

does that make sense? like, sure, the casino makes money and all, but for romeo, it’s more about ego than monetary gain.

why do you think he wants everybody calling him “fico” and brags about his high end products and complains when even a single thing doesn’t go his way?

its all ego, that’s why.

that said, boy i hope you’re prepared to feed his ego when you finally screw him.

has a major praise kink because of it

tell him how pretty he is, pounding into you! he’ll try not to smile like a drunken freak.

Haku Kusanagi (Lust-based):

MY FAVVVV OUUUUGHGHHGHGHHHHHHH MY FAVVVVVVVVV

haru makes a close 2nd place if u couldn’t tell. but this guy?? nnnmmmmffffghghhhh…

he seems so incredibly normal and im not saying he’s not but im saying he has a much stronger libido than others around him. like, incubus strength.

rather than lust for attention or knowledge or something else, he literally lusts for sex. he’s physical lust-based. 

to him, it kind of sucks. he’s not super fond of it. i mean, what kind of future priest gets boners this frequently? come on man. 

at the same time, though, he can’t say it’s… all bad. its exhilarating in a way, and he kind of likes being horny all the damn time. 

to be clear, it’s not ALL the time… just relatively often. 

he’s a little conflicted and overall has mixed feelings on it. 

anyone complimenting his looks, which happens often (as seen in Hotarubi’s story), can just get him hard randomly.

god forbid you compliment him, even once. he’s rock hard immediately. it’s embarrassing.

thankfully though, he does an excellent job at hiding it. being used to it has it’s perks.

he’s abnormally good at hiding his arousal though, like you wouldn’t be able to tell unless you pressed yourself directly against his crotch. 

when the cravings get bad, however… he can’t hide it anymore. thankfully though, a very long, very self-indulgent jack off session that lasts a day will stave it off. 

once he has you, though… ohohohohoooo boy. 

you end up spending more time at hotarubi than you do in the chapel

you’re always sleeping over. you’re always waking up with hickeys. you’re always doing the walk of shame the following morning.

Rui Mizuki (Glutton-based):

not going to hold you, this one should be obvious

this is rui we’re talking about. the touch-starved, flirty womanizer. what do you think he’s going to constantly want more of for the pleasure of consuming it?

hell, i like to believe that prior to his curse, he was a super touchy guy. he loved to hug people or perform small acts of intimacy, like ruffling someone’s hair or rubbing their arms or holding their hands. he loved that! and he’s been robbed of it.

he is a pure glutton for touch, i know it.

(we are going to act like theoretically you can fuck him)

this said: do not let your hands leave him during sex. don’t!

something about hands in particular. how dearly he has missed and craved the simplest form of contact: via hands

he will be desperate to touch you, all over, with his hands, and he wants you to feel the same

the sex will be bareback. sorry.

Jiro Kirisaki (Sloth-based):

high libido king. low energy king.

the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!

i theorize it’s not just his illness that tears him apart, it’s also his sin of sloth

since he doesn’t indulge in it much (and isn’t really allowed to), his body oftentimes shuts down involuntarily to preserve itself, yk?

this being said…

i like to think he has an abnormally high libido

but he can’t often contribute time to it, what with him being so busy with research he hardly showers daily AND him being sick AND him needing to indulge in sloth. he barely has the time to jack off, really.

during sex, he’s generally pretty malleable to whatever you want, granted he doesn’t have to work too hard. 

will he blow your back out? sure! will he start out slow thrusting until he’s close and then speed up the pace to blow your back out? yea.

he can only go one round sorry! you’re not getting much out of him. but, surprisingly, he recovers quicker than most. so if, after an hour or so, you wanted to go again…

this was supposed 2 be a sneak peek but i think i did too much lmfao???

lowkey i was embarrassed 2 post this. this is the rawest stage of my work. straight from the brain and pure headcanon at that.

if u want 2 be tagged when this post is completed, let me know!

questions, comments, or even concerns? let me know!! and, of course, do let me know if you enjoyed the sneak peek at all.

EDIT: why is my brainslop getting likes lol? anyways I edit this 2 tag: @cupcakesmoothie and @aayakashii I put content of ur favs in this post and forgot 2 tag y'all 🫡 shame on me

[velvetseahorse]

Erotic Chaos: Kundalini, Ashlesha, Uttara Bhadrapada, and the Struggle for Control

In ancient Vedic texts, Kundalini is described as the “serpent power,” an intense, primal energy coiled at the base of the spine. This energy is tied to our ego and physical identity, anchoring us to the material world while also placing limits on our spiritual growth. Mastering Kundalini means learning to awaken and guide this energy upward through each chakra, each center representing a unique aspect of consciousness. A true Kundalini awakening is not just about spiritual insight it also involves embracing sexual energy as a natural, powerful force within the spiritual journey, transforming raw desire into higher awareness. Source: Claire Nakti

Ashlesha nakshatra is deeply connected to this concept because it embodies the themes of binding and constriction spiritually and energetically. Governed by the Nagas (serpent deities), Ashlesha represents the dual nature of serpents: they can bind and paralyze with poison but also possess the power to release and unbind. Being in the sensitive water sign of Cancer, Ashlesha is about preserving energy and maintaining purity. Nagas, associated with water, are highly sensitive to spiritual pollution and react strongly against actions that disrespect sacred knowledge. Their Yin nature means they don’t initiate but rather respond, acting as protectors of Dharma (spiritual order) and sacred practices. Uttara Bhadrapada, on the other hand, also has a restrictive quality, but its limitations are tied to Saturn’s influence and Pisces’ connection to the 12th house the realm of isolation, subconscious depth, and hidden places like prisons or asylums. Its deity, Ahir Budhnya (the deep sea serpent or dragon), guards hidden treasures in the depths of the ocean, symbolizing the containment and protection of sacred knowledge. Uttara Bhadrapada’s connection to Kundalini is more refined it is linked to the Ajna (third eye) chakra, where spiritual energy is stabilized. In this stage, Kundalini rises beyond ego and personal identity, bringing a profound shift where ambition and the desire for achievement fade away. The individual transcends their limited human self, merging with a higher state of consciousness and aligning with universal truth.

Ashlesha is about breaking free from “motherly” restrictions to avoid becoming frozen or paralyzed in a state of innocence or naivety. It represents the struggle of moving beyond a sheltered, virginal state. In “The Year of the Carnivore,” Cristin Milioti an Ashlesha native plays Sammy Smalls, a young woman stuck in a grocery store job she dislikes but keeps to avoid moving back in with her overbearing parents. Sammy’s life takes a turn when she develops a crush, and after an awkward sexual encounter, the guy tells her she is sexually immature due to her inexperience. This criticism triggers a spiral for Sammy, pushing her into a series of awkward, misguided sexual experiments as she tries to gain experience. One telling scene shows Sammy getting intimate with a guy but unable to stop laughing — a clear sign of discomfort with physical touch.

This aligns with the nature of Ashlesha, whose yoni (animal symbol) is the male cat, considered the least sexual yoni in terms of directness, reproduction, and penetration. Like a cat, Ashlesha can be finicky, picky, and indirect, preferring to preserve their energy. This focus on energy preservation is tied to Ashlesha’s connection with water the most easily polluted element. Water signs like Cancer (Ashlesha’s zodiac sign) and Pisces are especially vulnerable to contamination, which is why Ashlesha women are often concerned with purity and self-protection. Ashlesha natives often need to explore sex in a way that genuinely gratifies them, and their indirect, cautious approach can sometimes lead to an aggressive or even predatory sexual expression a “man-eating” or cannibalistic trope.

This is seen in “Raw,” where Garance Marillier who has an Ashlesha ☽ and an Uttara Bhadrapada ↑ plays Justine, a veterinary student raised as a strict vegetarian by her overprotective mother. When Justine is forced to eat raw rabbit meat during a hazing ritual, she develops an intense, almost uncontrollable craving for raw flesh, leading to a disturbing transformation. Her struggle with hunger and primal urges is a dark, exaggerated portrayal of Ashlesha’s conflicted relationship with instinct, hunger, and desire. After experiencing intense cravings for meat, Justine feels ashamed and begins secretly eating raw meat. Her hunger takes a darker turn when her sister Alexia accidentally cuts off her finger and instead of helping, Justine picks it up and starts chewing on it. Justine’s hunger for human flesh intensifies and begins to blur with her feelings of lust, especially toward her roommate, Adrien. Adrien is more sexually experienced, while Justine is still a virgin and unfamiliar with her own desires. During a hazing ritual, she is pressured to kiss a boy but ends up biting his bottom lip instead. Later, when she has sex with Adrien, she struggles with an urge to devour him but manages to control herself, biting her own arm instead and experiencing an orgasm.

In “Jennifer’s Body,” Megan Fox an Ashlesha ☽ native plays Jennifer Check, a high school girl known for her wild reputation. One night, Jennifer and her best friend Needy go to a local bar to see an out-of-town band perform. The lead singer, mistakenly believing Jennifer is a virgin, decides to sacrifice her for fame and fortune. But the ritual backfires because Jennifer isn’t a virgin, and she is transformed into a succubus instead of dying. As a succubus, Jennifer begins seducing and killing local boys, feeding on them to maintain her beauty and vitality. If she goes too long without eating, she becomes pale and withered, needing “male meat” to stay healthy and beautiful. These stories highlight Ashlesha’s intense, pent-up feminine energy a force that is both alluring and dangerous. Ashlesha is like a group of hidden, pure water creatures sensitive, waiting, and filled with angsty, sexualized energy. It craves something strong enough to resist or contain it. When that strength is absent, Ashlesha’s energy can become consuming, uncoiling and rising like a serpent, leading to a kind of bliss or ecstasy. Despite its connection to inexperience or naivety, Ashlesha has a fierce, almost predatory side. Its intensity is rooted in a primal hunger, making it one of the most dangerously passionate nakshatras, especially when its desires are awakened.

𓆗

Uttara Bhadrapada, with its Saturnian influence and connection to the deep waters of the subconscious, often manifests as a struggle between repression and chaotic release, especially when it comes to sexuality. The nakshatra’s link to hidden depths means that emotions and desires are often buried, but when they surface, they can do so violently or in distorted ways. This is evident in two films featuring Uttara Bhadrapada natives: “The Piano Teacher” and “A Dangerous Method.” In “The Piano Teacher,” Erika Kohut (played by Uttara Bhadrapada ☽ Isabelle Huppert) is a rigid, troubled piano professor in her late thirties, living under the suffocating control of her elderly mother in Vienna. Her father spent years in a psychiatric asylum, and Erika’s entire life is a study in repression she leads a scheduled, lonely existence, pouring all her energy into her strict, almost cruel teaching style. Her mastery of classical music, (which @invenusworld has linked to Saturn nakshatras) is her only source of pride, but it also becomes a prison. For Erika, who was conditioned to believe that only her piano skills had value, everything else beauty, charm, or love seems beyond her reach. Erika embodies the detached, mysterious qualities of Uttara Bhadrapada. She feels fundamentally excluded from the world around her, a theme captured in the novel by Elfriede Jelinek: “She feels left out of everything because she is left out of everything. Others go farther, even climbing over her. She looks like such a minor obstruction… The paper can’t get very far, it rots away right there. The rotting takes years, monotonous years.” This isolation and repression transform her desires into something dark and destructive. Her sexual needs, suppressed for so long, emerge through voyeurism, sadomasochism, and self-harm. Uttara Bhadrapada’s connection to Saturn (restriction) and the 12th house (hidden desires, self-undoing) makes Erika a prisoner of her own twisted cravings. Her attempt to control her sexuality leads to a disturbing power struggle with Walter Klemmer, a young pianist who becomes fascinated with her. Although she is impressed by his talent, she tries to sabotage his acceptance as her student, a reflection of her fear of losing control. Her insecurity peaks when she sabotages another student, Anna, injuring her to steal her performance opportunity. Walter’s interest in Erika turns into a toxic, violent relationship.

When she tries to control their encounters with a list of masochistic fantasies, Walter is disgusted and calls her sick. Uttara Bhadrapada, with its mix of Saturn’s restraint and the 12th house’s hidden darkness, can manifest as a craving for the forbidden but also a fear of being consumed by it. Erika’s attempt to engage with her desires becomes self-destructive. Her repression is so severe that even when she tries to submit to Walter at an ice rink, she becomes overwhelmed and vomits. Later, when Walter arrives at her apartment and violently assaults her, acting out the fantasies she had described, it becomes the ultimate loss of control a tragic consequence of her conflicted desires, which she never truly wanted to become reality. What Erika genuinely craved was affection and love, but her need for them was distorted into unhealthy perversion. The next day, she brings a knife to the concert hall where she is set to perform in Anna’s place. When she sees Walter laughing with his family, she calmly stabs herself in the shoulder and walks away, her self-harm a final act of despair and self-punishment.

The Andromeda myth, tied to Uttara Bhadrapada, is a story of captivity, sacrifice, and transformation. Andromeda, a princess chained to a rock as an offering to a sea monster, represents the themes of being trapped, suffering for the sins of others, and the potential for liberation through divine intervention. These themes echo the emotional and psychological struggles associated with Uttara Bhadrapada, where hidden fears, repressed desires, and subconscious turmoil create an internal prison. Yet, like Andromeda, the potential for transformation always exists, even in the darkest moments.

Uttara Bhadrapada’s connection to Andromeda can be seen in how its natives often experience deep psychological suffering or repression, feeling bound by invisible chains whether through strict upbringing, oppressive relationships, or their own unresolved fears. This nakshatra is ruled by Ahir Budhnya, the serpent of the deep, a being bound to the ocean’s depths yet holding vast knowledge. Like Andromeda, who is saved by Perseus, Uttara Bhadrapada’s struggle is not without hope. Transformation comes when they confront the monstrous aspects of their subconscious, freeing themselves through self-awareness or a profound emotional release.

. ♓︎ .

This theme is vividly portrayed in “The Piano Teacher,” where Erika Kohut (Uttara Bhadrapada ☽ Isabelle Huppert) is emotionally chained by her controlling mother and repressed desires. Her strict, punishing approach to life is a form of self-imposed captivity, but beneath her cold exterior lies a sea of chaotic, unfulfilled desires. Her voyeurism, sadomasochism, and self-harm are expressions of this repressed energy breaking through, much like the sea monster in the Andromeda myth. When she meets Walter, their interactions become a cruel power struggle a battle between her need for control and her longing for release. Walter initially seems like a liberator but becomes another form of torment when he violently acts out her fantasies, leaving Erika even more wounded. Her final act of self-harm before walking out of the concert hall is a twisted attempt at reclaiming her agency a distorted form of freedom.

In “A Dangerous Method,” Sabina Spielrein (Uttara Bhadrapada ☉ Keira Knightley) is also trapped by her traumatic memories and her intense, conflicted desires. Her hysteria and emotional suffering are symptoms of unprocessed trauma, but they are also the source of her transformation. Through her relationship with Carl Jung, she confronts the darkness of her past, ultimately transforming her suffering into insight, becoming a pioneer in psychoanalysis. Her journey from patient to healer reflects Uttara Bhadrapada’s power to turn pain into wisdom, just as Andromeda is saved and transformed by her ordeal.

“Augustine” portrays another trapped woman, Augustine (Uttara Bhadrapada ↑ Soko), who is institutionalized after violent fits and paralysis. Charcot’s obsessive study of her turns her suffering into a spectacle, reducing her to a subject of medical curiosity. But Augustine’s symptoms seizures, loss of sensation, and fainting are not just physical. They are expressions of repressed emotions and desires struggling to surface, much like Kundalini energy coiled in the depths. Her final escape from the institution, after using her supposed hysteria to manipulate Charcot, is a symbolic liberation, a rejection of being used and controlled.

Going back to the cannibalistic narratives of “Raw” (starring Ashlesha ☉, Uttara Bhadrapada ↑ Garance Marillier) and “Bones and All” (directed by Ashlesha ☉, Uttara Bhadrapada ☽ Luca Guadagnino and starring Uttara Bhadrapada ☽ Timothée Chalamet). In “Raw,” Justine is overwhelmed by her repressed hunger, both literal and metaphorical, which becomes monstrous when she tastes human flesh. Her descent into cannibalism is a grotesque form of transformation, where she must confront the darkness within herself a classic Uttara Bhadrapada struggle. In “Bones and All,” Chalamet’s character lures his victims through seduction, a serpent-like dance that combines hunger, desire, and violence. His embrace of a man in the cornfield, wrapping around him before striking, is a direct nod to the snake symbolism of Ahir Budhnya the hidden hunger that coils around its prey. These cannibalistic themes reveal the shadow side of Uttara Bhadrapada, where suppressed desires erupt in monstrous ways. But they also hint at the potential for transformation, as both characters are forced to confront the darkness within them. These stories show how Uttara Bhadrapada’s Andromeda connection is not just about suffering but about the choice to either remain trapped or transform to either let the sea monster devour you or find a way to break free.

[clegfly]

OUGH GHEYRE SO CUTE… THE BABIES

These babies because I think their friendship is really understated, Basil and Aubrey were friends as little kids and that’s so important to me…

Very small very anxious Basil sooo exited to have a friend and little does he know she’s about to bring him to meet MORE friends !!

[gghostwriter]

Can I request a Lil fluff with the team (mainly Spence) where the reader had a massive potty mouth (like they're from a country that isn't so harsh about swearing, England, Australia, New Zealand?) But she's all very professional when need be but when talking with the team she's cursing up a storm (maybe the terms "good cunt" and "shit cunt" turn up?

Good cunt means someones great, amazing

Shit cunt meaning well someone's bad) and Spence gets anxious but she reassures him that she's not swearing AT him but more making sure her words hit to where they need to go?

Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader Trope: Friends who Flirt (?) ; Fluff just fluff! w.c: 0.9k Warning: CM violence; citizenship inaccuracies idk A/N: Apologies again that this took a while! I am not from Australia so I had to search up some more slangs to use for this. I hope I did it justice and I had fun writing this, Anon! Thank you for requesting 💗 Main masterlist

Down Under. // Spencer Reid

It wasn’t your fault the Americans didn’t have ‘swearing’ programmed in their DNA. It was although your fault why you ended up in the FBI—receiving looks and eyebrow raises from the team—rather than in a bustling city of your homegrown country in the southern hemisphere, Australia. 

But you really couldn’t blame yourself now could you? The idea of giving up your citizenship to be a part of the illustrious BAU was too good to pass up. So you packed your bags, entered the FBI Academy, and passed with flying colors—nearing perfect that David Rossi pulled ranks just to get you in the team even with how green you still were. 

“So what do we have?” you asked, rounding into the conference room with Spencer in tow. 

“Sadly, my precious koala, we have murder,” Penelope answered with the remote in her hand, flashing the photographs of numerous mutilated bodies. “Jacksonville, Florida reported a series of killings over the past month and it’s not looking pretty. Each victim had been dumped in alley ways and all missing a toe.” 

JJ slightly reeled back. “Well, that’s a new type of trophy.” 

“It’s not very common,” Spencer backed up. “Jerome Brudos, ‘the Shoe Fetish Slayer’ is the only known serial killer that kept a foot trophy from his first victim. He was only named as such because of his disturbing foot fetish and collection of women’s shoe catalogs that he considered as pornographic material.” 

“Ah a shit cunt,” you remarked, making Spencer shift on his seat to look at you with inquiry. 

“Y/N,” Emily warned. “Alright, wheels up in thirty.” 

———

The case file was too thin for the team’s liking. How was it that a serial killer with five, possibly six, victims under his belt only had a couple of pages on it and with incomplete identifications and no missing or initial reports done. 

“Emily, is this it?” Luke waved the slim folder up in the air. “I mean, I know the victims were all homeless but damn. Did they even walk and ask around?” 

She sighed. “I called it in and the only reason we were invited is due to the upcoming elections.” 

“Bogan coppers are they? Why doesn’t that surprise me at the least,” you scoffed

“Matt and Luke, you’ll visit the last location of the body—” Emily instructed before turning to the rest of the team. “JJ, coordinate with the media to get them to cooperate. Y/N and Reid, talk to the forensics. Rossi and I will settle base at the station.” 

A series of hums and agreements echoed throughout the compact jet before settling into a lull. 

Spencer shifted on his seat, turning to face you who was busy shifting through the papers. “Hey, in the office you—“ he cleared his throat. “said a phrase, what did it mean?” 

You turned slightly, noting his nervous gaze. “You mean ‘shit cunt’?” 

He nodded. 

“It means someone bad, low life, scum of the earth—wait, you don’t think I meant you, right?” 

“What—no, no!” He sighed, having spied your raised eyebrow. “Well, maybe? I didn’t know what it meant so I don’t know.” 

You giggled. “Spence, if I was going to describe you it would be—pardon my French, good cunt.” 

“For someone so tiny, you sure do curse a lot,” Rossi interjected. 

“What can I say, us from down under just have colorful vocabulary,” you shrugged. 

———

The team was finally back in home base after five days in the sweltering heat of Florida and you couldn’t feel any more tired than this moment as you waited for your sister to come pick you up. Granted you could taken the last train ride home but you just didn’t trust yourself to not miss your stop plus she volunteered so you hastily agreed—never one to say no. 

“I think I’ll wait until your sister arrives for you,” Spencer volunteered, taking your go bag out of your hands. 

“I am an FBI agent, Dr. Reid,” you teased. “Perfectly capable of taking care of myself”

“And I don’t disagree! I’ve seen you take down Luke in training and shoot multiple unsubs but you look dead to your feet.” 

You blushed, grateful that the night made it less obvious. “So are you my knight in shining armor then?” 

He cleared his throat, holding on to your gaze. “I could be.” 

You sucked in a breath. 

The temperature between you suddenly felt hot. Did that mean what you think it meant? Did that mean he liked you too? You opened your mouth to ask but was interrupted by a car halting to a stop in front of you. 

It was your sister, what rotten timing.

“Oh please, stop caking and get in before I get ticketed or better yet make it worth it and just pash already!” She shouted through the rolled down window. 

“Caking? Pash?” Spencer repeated. 

“Well—I have to go. Thanks for keeping me safe, Spence.” 

He stops you on your tracks, holding to your hand. “Wait what do those two words mean?” 

You laughed, squeezing his hand in return, and felt a sudden burst of confidence. “Come find me when you figure it out.” 

With a wink, you left Spencer dumbfounded and dazed on the sidewalk.

Some notes: Bogan - an uncouth or unsophisticated person Coppers - policemen Caking - flirting Pash - passionate kiss

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[eclipseberrycake]

Funhouse (Looey x Reader)

AN: Hey guys guess who's a new Sprout main? Me. A Rodger kept taking tapes right in front of me, literally calling me over only to take them the second i was close enough. His friend was playing as Bobette. You took something I loved Rodger main, I'm taking something you love. Since I can't draw her pregnant, she's the new villain until someone else pisses me off. Not yet though. I will bide my time.

Anyway.

☁ Looey. Looey. He's such a guy. A goofy lil' goober.

☁ If you don't think he's with another circus based toon, you're crazy. He's a little too...crazy for lack of a better term. Looey I think really needs someone to match his energy, so another circus toon would be perfect!

☁ Stay with me- A Healer! Toon, who's special ability is kind of like a tightrope. It attaches them to the nearest wall and let's them cross an area without being spotted for like 5 seconds.

☁ I think it's neat especially with Looey.

☁ He's a distractor, evidently, and if you haven't picked it up I love the Distractor X Healer Trope.

☁ Imagine he's running and for some reason nearly gets snapped by Twisted Scraps only for a thing of cotton candy to fall in front of him? I've only ever seen Goobs and Scraps really catch Looey mains tbh.

☁ ANYWAY

☁ They probably use circus foods instead of cupcakes or cookies. And you KNOW Looey loves his circus foods. My personal hc is that he wasn't always part of Gardenview and was part of a circus at some point, so he gets a little homesick :(

☁ Maybe you two both came from the circus in fact and found refuge in Gardenview and joined their cause! That would be cute! Just two sweethearts looking for a safe haven for themselves.

☁ Speaking of which! Looey is so sweet! And cheeky too!

☁ He's constantly giving you little flowers with a cheeky little grin, pecking your cheek and running off before you could even reciprocate, or tapping one shoulder is to make you look only to round around the other side.

☁ He also loves rubbing against you to make your fur/hair all puffy from the static electricity.

☁ He also has so many cool little skills. Like, he can juggle on a unicycle kind of things. He can make balloon animals and is scary good at those scammy carnival games. If you ever get the chance to go to a carnival with Looey, you should know he's pinpointing the largest teddy bear there and you're walking out with it.

☁ On runs, since he's distracting, he doesn't stress too much about you. He trusts you can handle yourself! He only struggles when he knows he's teetering the edge of becoming a twisted and you come to heal him. Your ability makes it easier on him though!

☁ He's always eternally grateful when he hears to deployment of your line, and sees the treat, but never sees you! Not that he doesn't love you and seeing you! But not seeing you while he's distracting is truly best.

☁ He takes the healing well honestly. He's sits with a cheeky, "Alright alright." Gazing at you lovingly the entire time, even if you're scolding him.

☁ The kind of dude to play pranks on his lover for sure. But not mean, tiktok incel pranks, but the confuse don't abuse pranks. :) Like that one husband with his blind husband! He's adding shampoo while you're in the shower and trying to wash it out. He's adding more fries to your plate every time you look away so you think it's an endless plate. He's such a menace.

☁ And he's quick too! So you can't even get him back! Like that one video where the girlfriends dumps cold water on her bf in the shower and he grabs her before she can escape and pulls her in? That's y'all.

☁ You guys probably have a whole lotta activities you do together. Small little hobbies he sees somewhere and wants to try at least once.

☁ Baking turned into some sort of adventure! You've seen Sprout and Cosmo do it with their sweethearts and they always end the time laughing, covered in flour and icing and feeding each other desserts.

☁ Funnel cakes was the treat he was craving when he walked up to you one lazy afternoon. There were no runs going on, supplies were stocked and everyone was taking the well needed break to catch up on some housekeeping, little chores they had been putting off or even just simply napping. It was a day of rest and relaxation!

☁ But Looey wouldn't let that slide. He's had a craving for the sweet treat for so long and now, he has the time to drag you to help him make it! The normal bakers were scattered, out of the kitchen, one of them napping with one of their partners while the other was folding laundry with the other next to them. So that meant it was open!

☁ You yourself were on a device, scrolling through some app that started with a T, reading silently while curled in a blanket. You looked so content there, he almost hesitated to ruin it.

☁ That did not stop him from running full speed only to jump onto you, nuzzling into your neck as you squealed at the intrusion. "Gumdrop!" He cheered while your squeals turned into laughter, pecking soft pecks to your cheeks and lips. "Let's do something!"

☁ "I was doing something." You giggled, brushing back his ears before they popped right back up. He shook his head to make them wave back and forth and tap against your hands, making you laugh again as you moved to hold his head. "But I guess I can share my attention."

☁ "Great!" His tail gave a wag. "I was hoping you and I could go on another baking adventure. I'm thinking funnel cakes!" He cheered, making you roll your eyes fondly.

☁ "Is that what you want now?" You tease, closing your device and setting it to the side.

☁ "At this very second? No. I want a kiss." He beams, making you laugh once more. You give him a sweet little peck, hearing his tail wave side to side rapidly.

☁ Once he was satisfied, he stood with a sweet bow, extending a hand to you. Once you took it, he helped you up before hooking your elbows together, rehashing the time he spent earlier while you had some alone time back to you.

☁ You listened with an attentive ear, smiling the entire time. By the time you made it to the kitchen, he was going on about the game of Crib he and Finn had been playing earlier, and how he had won- even if you knew he had been using the tricks he used in the circus to flub the cards.

☁ You pointed out as much, moving around the kitchen a little clumsily. You found what you needed well enough however, setting it out along with the utensils needed. Looey knew himself well enough to know where his limits lie, so he put a pot of oil on the stove, turning the burner on before stepping back, watching you whip up a quick batter.

☁ "You look glorious, you know that?" He teased, watching your cheeks flush as you tried hiding your smile. He loved seeing that look on your face, especially knowing it was because of him.

☁ There was something about you that just had him acting like a whole new toon! It was kind of uncanny really. He wouldn't admit, except to maybe you, but at the beginning of his time with the circus, he feared he was too different. Too much. And he hated being alone.

☁ Then you showed up and life hasn't been the same. He will forever be eternally grateful to have you in his life and fully plans to cherish you for as long as you will allow him too.

☁ It was why he insisted on having moments like these so often. He never wanted to say he wished he could've done it with you and would've rather had the memories to look back on. Especially with the twisteds. He had only been a twisted once, and could only remember running and running and running hoping to find you or any trace of you.

☁ Waking up, back to himself, and seeing you was one of the best-worst moments of his life.

☁ He knew seeing him like that must've been scary for you and tried desperately to erase that memory with only good ones.

☁ And if sifting powdered sugar onto freshly fried dough and drizzling it with your favorite sweet sauce helped erase some of those bad memories too?

☁ Well, he found he didn't mind a single bit, laughing at the powder dusting you nose as you fed him the first bite of the first treat, laughing when he got sauce all over his face.

[plumbogs]

Making Sims 2 University Fun: my personal guide

I've noticed that while it's probably one of the most utilized of the expansions, TS2's university is generally seen as a slog. Which makes sense. It has a completely different gameplay loop than the rest of the game. But it's very handy to send your sims to college, especially if you use any of the various mods that limit careers based on education. So here's my big guide to making university an actual fun experience to play through (to me, at least).

The university expansion is, uh, very tailored to the 2000s college party time animal-house tropes. the pack becomes more fun when you treat it that way and let your sims be stupid young adults who streak and fool around on campus and throw parties. which, by default, is tricky because of the gameplay that requires so much skill building and assignments. which the rest of this guide will also deal with.

Note: I make some pretty big changes to normal university gameplay, to the point that it does require a bit of modding and at least one instance of fooling with simpe. there's probably also easier ways to do it, and of course everything is optional. maybe you do like keeping sims in dorms for the entire time and just three-speeding trough it all.

*mods: there are a few absolute must-have mods to me.:

TwoJeff's College Adjuster. It's basically an all-in-one controller to adjust semester timing, change semesters, plus a bunch of other features. The semester timing is the most important to me.

Active Classes is still in testing, but it almost completely changes how I play college sims. Once again, I'll detail gameplay later, but actually sending your sims to class makes for a much more fun campus experience.

No College Time Progression On Community Lots: this goes hand-in-hand with the previous mod.

Community Time: IIRC you have to do a little editing in SimPE to make it work right with University - this post explains what to edit. I don't know if I'm allowed to share the exact edit I made as a download. This might seem redundant after the last mod, but there's a reason for the madness: while one group of sims are in their active classes, the other students can do things on the home lot.

Instant Pledge for Greek Houses: This one is important for greek house gameplay, which is later.

SimBlender: There's like, 500 different edits of the SimBlender, and I think all of them have the main function needed for my college gameplay, which is teleportation. You can use a comparable teleporter if you fancy.

Simlogical's University Break is another important one for me, but it's not really necessary if you don't want it. I usually give the sims one break day per season - more on that later.

Autonomous Casual Romance is not required, but it sure adds a lot of fun to your college experience. You can also do any number of professor-limiting, custom degrees, etc mods and fixes you want.

*mods i do not use: there are mods to change the number of/length of semesters, but I seem to run into issues with them so I use the college adjuster to do the same things. I also don't really use any major overhauls, or mods that make term papers faster. I did have the tuition mod for a bit but grew tired of using it.

*general timing changes: I do seven-day seasons with longer lifespans for all sims and play rotations each day. These are the things I do specifically for university:

Four semesters: I only do semesters 2, 4, 6, and 8. Every time a new semester starts, I just use the College Adjuster to set the correct semester for each sim. I use the default length of 72 hours.

Synchronized finals: I use the College adjuster to reset the timer so the finals are all around 6-8am, and synchronized for each sim on a lot. This makes it easier to keep track of timing and skills. Also, all sims in university run on the same 3-day semester. Finals are the same day for the entire college each round. Once again, that just makes it easier for me to keep track of college-wide events for gameplay reasons.

Because this means there's 3 days per school year, and two school years per season week, it syncs better if they get a day off every Sunday using the University break mod.

Teens are sent to college on the same schedule. I send teens to school when they have 14 days or so left, with maybe an extra day or two if the college is currently in the middle of the semester.

*Gameplay: living situations: Here's where the meat begins. Now all your sims are on the same college schedule, they're all being sent to school, and now they need to actually move into college. I follow a real rule a number of colleges use: Every student spends a year in the dorms. Just their freshman year, then they have to move somewhere else. I find that this gives them a chance to meet dormies, adapt to being on college, and sorta figure out what kind of young adults they are. Plus, this gives them time for joining greek houses, which will be talked about later.

I do this because I like seeing sims as their own little characters with arcs and whatever and it forces me to think about what exactly they would be doing in college. Some sims get so frustrated with the constant mess of a dorm, some sims thrive by making friends with every dormie. Sometimes they start new drama with the others they came from high school with. Nothing quite like losing your high school sweetheart to some stinky dormie, after all.

After freshmen year, the students are kicked out of the dorms. They can get an apartment, they can rent a house, they can move into a greek house if they join one. Either way, they need to live somewhere. You can let them stay in the dorms, but I prefer somewhat smaller college households and divide them accordingly. Which gets into that whole greek house situation:

*Gameplay: greek houses. I gamify the Greek houses. I play SSU in my megahood, which comes with a fraternity and sorority, and you can do whatever setup you like there if you dislike gendered houses. Or abandon them all together and ignore this section. There are a few important elements:

Freshmen cannot live in Greek houses. They can, however, pledge while living in the dorms and move in right after their finals end. This includes dormies. There are benefits to the dorm, such as free housing, more social opportunities, usually more money per household since I cheat to make the greek houses actually nice to live in with things like pools and comfortable furniture, etc.

The Greeks have to be recruiting consistently. To keep the house going, they need to constantly be bringing in new members, either playable OR dormies.

Any recruited dormies are required to move in. You can townify them after graduation if you don't really get attached to them, but every member of the house is moved in. I use the instant pledge mod to get rid of that annoying requirement where they have to hang out on the lot so long before moving in. That, and they also move in after finals. You can teleport or invite them on and just ask them to move in. Whatever you want. Then, you must set them to be sophomores. Beyond that you can do whatever. They're playable now. Have fun.

You gotta let the Greeks party. Throw toga parties all the time and use a teleporter to maximize guests. Generally, ALL members of ALL greek houses are teleported to a party by default. Add more dormies, any friends, anybody in the dorms - the kids need to recruit and the easiest way is by forcing everyone on one lot. If you have autonomy mods or realistic alcohol, sit back and watch the madness unfold.

I don't really play wants-based, so playables that join greek houses is more based on vibes or friendship with existing greek members than wants.

*Gameplay: what do you mean we have to study??? Yeah. I made it this far before even bringing up the whole point of college. This is also where it gets a little more complicated and changed up, so bear with me.

I don't do wants-based, again, so I generally just try to make sure sims are at least passing by default. Whether they go beyond a C is up to whatever. I usually try to get knowledge sims to their 4.0s or sims that just seem like they'd take it seriously to max GPA.

ACTIVE CLASSES ARE SUCH A LIFESAVER. You can use the pre-made lecture hall or make your own. Put some skill-building objects in there, and if you like flavor theme the lecture halls around majors. I have a business/gen ed building, a science lot, and an arts lot, each with two classrooms (plus the library contains a classroom). I do believe I made an edit to the mod to make the class performance go higher with active classes, as well, so attending class every day is the bare minimum to get a passing grade.

The active class lots also contain career reward skill-building objects. These are nice because your sims can request to be taught by other sims on the lot. If you have a mod that allows non-students to visit uni lots, this helps even more with faster skill-building.

Every day, I send groups of sims with similar majors to their class. If there's a mixed-major group, each sim group gets one day in active class per semester. (So if there's an economics major, a bio major, and an art major, each one attends class on a separate rotation and the others do the normal autonomous go-to-class where they leave the lot and disappear). They attend one or both of the lectures and otherwise exist on the college lot to skill-build, socialize, eat, etc.

Outside of class, sims will usually research if they're not doing great. I honestly barely bother with assignments or term papers unless the sim actually wants to do them or are aiming for a high GPA. Maybe they go hang out at the lounge or downtown to fool around. Maybe they just fester at home. Whatever they want.

*other gameplay/storytelling things: I usually will take advantage of the aspiration change after their sophomore year if I realize that their aspiration just doesn't really jive with how they act. It's realistic to me. They had many years since being like, 13 when they first had their aspiration selected. I'd like to implement more in the way of holidays/events, personally, but that's not really relevant either. I usually give them an outfit change as well, and I like to go hard with the idea that they're going through a bunch of weird fashion phases. You know you want to give them a mohawk, just for a few days, don't you? Dye their hair red? Shave it all off? Have fun with it.

All of these things combine for me, at least, to make the college years a lot more engaging/interesting and less of a slow "move to a dorm -> study -> read books -> meet needs -> graduate" loop. There's a lot more storyline development that comes from sims being able to enjoy their time as young adults, too, such as the regular polycule jealousy explosions and party fights. It serves to break up anything they had going on as teens and give them a little direction to enter adulthood with. This concludes my little mini-guide, feel free to steal all my gameplay style or just take inspiration if you please. Or ignore it all and shake your head and call me an idiot. do whatever you want forever.

[thatordinaryoddity]

hot take on 3x03 sweat tent scene

and since I know that most people here seem to feel differently about that scene than I do and actually love it (which I don’t), I’m putting my thoughts below the cut. You know, don’t like, don’t read, etc etc.

I’m finally gathering the courage to voice my thoughts on why this scene bothers me so much. Please keep in mind that this is my personal opinion, shared on my personal blog, based on my own impressions and experiences with this topic.

Call me prude, but for me, the entire scene felt uncomfortable and left a sour taste in my mouth for several reasons. I honestly can’t wrap my head around why so many people seem so unbothered by it or even love it that much.

First of all, even if we assume that Moiraine and Siuan are breaking up, I’m not on board with the whole “yas, go for it, girl” rebound narrative. They’ve been in a relationship/marriage for over 20 years. Unless the word breakup is used, I don’t think we can assume they’re officially done. Yes, Siuan betrayed Moiraine in 2x07 (though, to be fair, Moiraine wasn’t exactly a saint either so I don’t place all the blame on Siuan). But considering the depth of their relationship, I’d expect them to have a definitive conversation before ending things, especially given their shared responsibilities and history. No matter what Moiraine assumes about their status, I feel like there needs to be a clear, final acknowledgment of their separation before we treat them as truly over.

And honestly, they don’t seem over. Moiraine’s emotional support fishing net, her saving Siuan and her little eyebrow twitch, the kiss from the trailer - all suggest there’s still something between them (and we know there will be). Even if they are broken up at this point, it’s only been about a month. I get that people handle breakups differently, but I don’t see Moiraine as someone who immediately starts messing around the moment she’s out of a long-term relationship.

Now, setting aside the possible cheating aspect, there are other issues with this scene: Lan. Oh my god, brother? We see in 3x01 that Moiraine is still yearning for Siuan. She’s clearly not over her and isn’t emotionally in a good place. Lan basically even mentions indirectly how unhappy she seems. And yet, he suggests this as a solution? As if Moiraine is just going to forget 20+ years of Siuan because some random stranger flashes her tits? I’m so sick of the trope that sex is a magical fix for emotional distress after a breakup. And… Moiraine wasn’t even thinking in that direction until Lan put the idea in her head, which makes it feel even more forced and icky. His suggestion kinda boils down to “quit moping and get laid so we aren‘t that miserable anymore,” without any thought given to the emotional fallout.

Does he (or Moiraine) really think she’d truly feel better afterward? Has anyone who’s ever had rebound sex actually forgotten their ex because of it? Did it magically fix everything? Did it bring you lasting happiness? Or regret and even more pain? Anyway. His advice felt dismissive, and more broadly, the way the show treats cheating as something casual or insignificant is frustrating. (Honestly, this issue extends beyond Moiraine and Siuan. Rand/Egwene comes to mind, and Egwene deserved so much better as well).

And yes, maybe it was intended as a lighthearted, funny moment, just some banter between Lan and Moiraine. But for me, it’s an absolute flop and not cute at all. I hope we don’t actually see Moiraine cheating or anything like that, but even the implication alone already makes me mad and sad. If the show actually goes there, I don’t think if I can stand behind it.

And before anyone argues that maybe Moiraine and Siuan aren’t monogamous, or that Siuan wouldn’t care. Sure, we don’t know for certain. But based on what the show has told us about their relationship, all we’ve seen so far is a deep commitment, loyalty and resilience, at least up until 2x07. And if we’re going with the idea that wanderer!Moiraine can be off having casual sex with strangers while Siuan sits in the Tower, unable to do the same because of her position as the Amyrlin… well, that doesn’t sound like a very balanced dynamic to me.

Which brings me to another issue: Moiraine is off in the Waste, thinking about casually hooking up with some stranger, while Siuan is back at the Tower, dealing with absolute chaos? I saw other posts about how lonely Siuan seems, and I felt that. Imagine being in her position! I say it again; Imagine being in her position! She’s probably riddled with guilt and regret and hurting too (as we can see in her expressions in both 2x07 and 3x01, and in her conversation with the kiddos). But she’s got responsibilities, political turmoil and an entire broken Tower to manage. I’m pretty sure she’s not off checking out some other naked woman because, you know… she has business to handle and shit to deal with (as does Moiraine, actually). Idk, I just feel so sorry for Siuan. And again, if we assume they’re truly broken up and will try to reconcile later, Moiraine’s “one hour of happiness” would/could complicate things even more.

I also know that Tumblr is obsessed with Moiraine/Lanfear, which is another idea I don’t love and haven’t been quiet about. But honestly? I’d rate the sweat tent scene as even worse because that is happening in real-time. Moiraine isn’t dreaming, isn’t having a vision, isn’t being threatened or forced. She isn‘t even gaining knowledge or power or whatever by (considering) sleeping with that woman.

Moreover, the sweat tent scene rubs me the wrong way because I cannot see Moiraine‘s character behaving like this. Yes, she’s human and has needs, blah, but I personally just don’t see her doing this. All of it feels like such a loser move. Why does there have to be so much toxicity and awful tropes all the fucking time? Can’t we just have that one pairing that is loyal and loves each other? I know this is my hopeless romantic side speaking, but I’m just disappointed in this scene and how the show suddenly portrays Moiraine and the fishwives.

That being said, I do love how diverse the show is in its portrayal of different relationships and I do think that‘s great and beautiful, and I do embrace it! But when it comes to the fishwives? I personally can’t mentally go there. Sorry.

If you made it through my TED Talk, my condolences.

[endearng]

;

Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader Summary: You pull the trigger, sick of never having enough from him, just as he stops struggling to navigate in your sea. WC: 1.5k Warnings: mentions of the dilaudid arch, alcohol consumption, miscommunication, right person/wrong time trope, sorta unrequited love. A/N: hi hi hi! This one is based on 'Skinny Love', which was on repeat this week, so I decided to give this a go. Feedbacks are highly appreciated! <3 Masterlist

One day at a time.

Tonight, the walk home is excruciatingly long, even though it usually takes you less than five minutes to get there from the building you work at. As you stroll through the otherwise busy crowd, droplets of rain fall from the sky. It is not enough to make you want to run to shield yourself from it. It's bearable. It's welcome. It's around 7, which should give you a while to get home just in time to feel the creeping lonely silence of the apartment. You know there won't be anyone there, you know he won't be there. There will only be fragments of what you once were, or what you thought you would become.

Walking through the door, you drop your purse to the floor and pad around the space, not really knowing what to do. You have made up your mind, of course; this emotional distance and physical absence has never been worse from both sides. It's time to accept it for what it is and come to terms that, no matter how much you wish for it, things can never be different. You sit on the couch, turning on the TV, only for it to be static, producing a stable noise that doesn't quite have a meaning — at least, not like the one you would expect from the device.

You can't help it. Your entire day, the day of sheer and pure realization, is revolving around metaphors, signs, hints that that is over. The image, made out of white and black small dots, that fills the screen is a bitter, annoying reminder of the gaps that are missing, two immiscible parts not quite meeting, one simply covering some parts of the other, never meeting, never mixing, never being.

Eventually, you don't know how longer, Spencer knocks at your door. You know it's him because besides no one else looking for you, it's like you have an entirely unique sense for his presence, for his existence. It's all that you've held onto for the last months — nine, to be honest. For some, it isn't that long of a time, but you've always thought of it as enough to generate life, the complex, ongoing and steady process so different from what you were allowed to have with him. Time is complex and relative, in the sense that you have experienced so much in such a short amount of time that it was painful. There isn't a life before him—at least, you don't remember it.

Since you can't find it in yourself to stand up, he opens the door himself. The spare key you have nonchalantly left on his nightstand after one of your trysts held an immense amount of meaning, one you weren't ready to access just then. Upon the sight of him, you feel the need to run to his arms, to cling to him and never let go, to ask him to heal and care for your own fragile being, but you don't. You know he's been through his own stuff, and he can't seem to stop going back for more. Dilaudid, the trauma he's exposed to on a daily basis, the never ending heartbreak that surrounds his existence. He knows no life besides those. You know no life besides him.

“I can't do this anymore.”

Your words are lethal. They are short, and they convey the meaning needed, but despite its clear significance, he can't find it in himself to acknowledge them as real. You have said things like that a million times before. It's just another one of those breakdowns, when you got too alone and too much in your head, when he wasn't there to soothe your fears instead of caring for himself. Spencer knows he would drop everything in a heartbeat if you asked him to. Problem is, you don't. You don't talk, you don't ask, you just wait and accept anything he gives you, because it's way easier than to demand, to put in the work in a relationship—at least that's how he accesses the situation. Plus, he would. As in, a conditional. There are still thoughts plaguing his head constantly that stop him from getting what he truly wants.

Spencer approaches, sitting by your side. You don't flinch, barely blinking at the hypnotizing dots dancing on the screen of your TV. Right under the TV, there is a small notebook in which lies all your thoughts. Amidst them, there is the need to escape. To not let him get any closer. You forget it as he gets closer and gently turns your head to meet his gaze.

“What happened?”

“I can't do this anymore.” You repeat, as if he hasn't heard you the first time. Firmer, sureness creeping from your every syllable.

“We talked about this," he tries.

“We did. It wasn't enough—it isn't enough!”

He looks at you softly. The same look that he gives you when he wants you to think he understands you better than anyone else in this world. The same look he has in his eyes when you get impossibly close on either of your beds, the one that makes you think that perhaps something else lies underneath your weird relationship. “Angel, what are you saying?”

Your gaze is piercing, and he can't look away. “You're always coming, but always leaving. I can't spend a life waiting for you.”

“I thought you were okay with that,” he argues, hands dropping to squeeze yours. Your reaction is to almost bashfully retreat them from his touch. To deprive him from your warmth.

“I was. I'm not anymore. And it goes against our arrangement. But I'm so tired of feeling like I'm waiting for something that will never happen, something I will never be to you.”

Spencer frowns softly, hands trembling as he balls them into fists. “It was your idea.”

“To which you agreed. It was what you wanted from me and back then, it was what I wanted from you, too. It's not. Not anymore.”

“So… is this over?”

“Yes.”

The feelings brewing inside him were confusing and, ironically, too much for his brain to process. Your words were stabs to his heart, and for a moment, such was the difficulty to grasp them, that he thought you were speaking a foreign language. One he couldn't begin to understand while you had the fluency, the eloquence of a native. He feels as if he's been following you into the rabbit's hole all the time, only to find out that only you belong there. Not him. The dull yet annoying pain inside his chest that made him feel as if his heart was being squeezed by a hand made of steel, so much was the unbearable sensation of you letting go.

Spencer couldn't keep the resentment from his tone, as he looked at you with the deepest resentment. “You won't even consider what I want? You won't even ask?”

“It's clear enough.”

“How is it clear if you don't talk to me?”

“It's clear because you leave. You come back, that's true. But it's not because you love me. It's because you know I'll be here to distract you from whatever.”

He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Despite being sitting next to you, your knees almost touching, he feels as if there's an ocean between you. Speaking of which, the revelation comes out in a whisper, “it takes an ocean not to break every night you're not here. It's an unbearable effort to get out of bed when you're not here and I don't hear from you.”

“I can—I can do it…” he whispers, rushed, as if his words could convince you to let him in again. To let him stay.

“You can't,” you retorted with a small, sad smile. “I know you can't. I wanted you to stay.”

It seems he wanted even more.

“You don't want me to? Not anymore?”

You nod, softly, avoiding his gaze. “I don't blame you for the way you're living,” you say, placing your hand on his shoulder. “I just don't want to be part of it anymore.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I know. I'm sorry too.”

You stand up, and it's the worst view in his entire world. Even though it is your apartment, your space, you leave — a silent conclusion of your painful words to him just a few minutes earlier. Leaving him in the country he had invaded, where he and his army had taken everything away for themselves, leaving you with just enough to get by. It was never an exchange.

Spencer sits there, mind reeling, almost meditating about what had happened. He thought he would come over tonight to talk to you about the trivial aspects of his days, like he was getting accustomed to. He even thought you two would end up in bed, limbs tangled as you tried to catch your breath. Instead, what he gets is a silent apartment, filled with memories of you, your existence, your senses and your things. Something that will soon become nothing but a painful memory of what he had lost right before putting his hands—his heart—on.

Outside, you wait for him to come out. He never does.

Tonight, you would drown in different substances.

divider by @cafekitsune <3

[vivsinkpot]

Writing Clichés to Avoid (And How to Twist Them on Their Heads)

Let’s face it: tropes aren’t the enemy—but clichés? They’re tropes that have been left out in the sun too long and have gone stale. Here’s a lovingly curated list of tired writing clichés that could use a break… or at least a refresh. Use them with care—or better yet, subvert them.

Disclaimer: This post is based on my personal taste and observations as a writer and reader. If any of these tropes speak to you or bring you joy—please, write them! Clichés become clichés for a reason: they resonate. The point isn’t to avoid them entirely, but to write them with intention, care, and depth. Don’t let a list discourage you from telling the story that’s in your heart.

1. The “Waking Up” Opening

Your character jolts awake, hits the alarm clock, and stares in the mirror describing their face? We’ve all read it. Instead: start with movement, a moment of tension, or a choice being made. Readers will learn what your character looks like organically.

2. “She let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.”

The breath. The betrayal. The overuse. Instead: describe physical tension with more specific detail—tight shoulders, a tremble, the pulse in her throat. Let the reader feel the release without the stock phrase.

3. Love at First Sight (Without Any Development)

Attraction is one thing. A soul-shaking, undying love because someone has good cheekbones? Give us more! Build tension, banter, shared secrets, something.

4. The “Chosen One” with No Personality

He’s destined, powerful, and… kind of a blank slate. Give your chosen ones flaws, fears, and dreams. Make their choices matter more than their prophecy.

5. Evil for Evil’s Sake

The cackling villain who just loves being bad is fun, but one-note. Flesh them out. Give them motives, morals, a twisted sense of justice. The best villains think they’re the hero.

6. The “Not Like Other Girls” Girl

She’s not like the others—because she reads books and doesn’t wear makeup? Let’s raise the bar. Individuality should be about who they are, not dismissing other women.

7. Dying Mentor Syndrome

Beloved mentor trains the hero… then dies conveniently to cause angst and move the plot. You can still kill them, sure—but think about the when, the why, and the impact.

8. Coincidence Saves the Day

A last-minute deus ex machina or lucky break can feel cheap. Victory tastes better when it’s earned—through flaws, strategy, and sacrifice.

9. Describing Eyes Like Oceans/Jewels/Stars

We’re not banning poetic metaphors, but let’s get specific. What do their eyes do? Dart, narrow, glint with mischief? Movement often tells us more than a gemstone ever could.

10. The Abusive Parent Backstory

A staggering number of protagonists have cruel, neglectful, or conveniently dead parents. Trauma is valid, but when every character’s motivation is “I was unloved,” it starts to feel like a shortcut. Instead: explore more nuanced family dynamics. Disappointment, misunderstanding, cultural clashes—those hit harder because they’re more human.

11. The Evil Ex

They’re manipulative, jealous, and exist solely to make the new love interest look better. This villainization flattens complex relationships into cartoonish drama. A better approach? Exes who were incompatible, not evil. Maybe they still talk. Maybe they ended on weird terms. That’s more interesting.

12. Super-Special Skill with No Training

I’m looking at you Rey Skywalker. They picked up a sword yesterday and now they’re beating knights in duels. Nope. Skill takes effort. Show the struggle, the soreness, the early failures. That’s where readers connect.

13. “I Look Down and Realize I’m Bleeding.”

This line gets used in every fight scene, every explosion. It’s become a dramatic reflex. Try a slower realization—weak knees, stained fingers, the distant ringing in their ears. There are other ways to show shock and delayed pain.

14. The Girl Who Doesn’t Know She’s Beautiful

Usually described as stunning by others, but insists she’s plain. Often while men fall at her feet. Let characters have confidence! Or, if they’re insecure, show it in believable ways. Not just over flawless skin and thick lashes.

15. The Grizzled Veteran with a Tragic Past™

He’s seen things. He drinks. He doesn’t talk about it. He’s emotionally unavailable… until he dies heroically. This archetype can work, but don’t let the trauma be his only trait. What makes him laugh? What does he cook? What’s his embarrassing hobby?

16. They’re Poor… But Own an Apartment in the City

Money is real. Rent is real. Struggle is real. If your character is broke, reflect that. Maybe they house-share. Maybe they live with family. Show it in their clothes, their job choices, their fridge.

17. Magical Powers with No Cost

If magic exists, there needs to be a price. Whether it’s energy, reputation, morality, or something darker, tension comes from consequences. Without them, power becomes too easy—and too boring.

18. No Female Friendships

Too many female characters exist in a vacuum of men, rivals, or love interests. Where are her friends? Her study buddy, her work wife, her sister figure? Women need women in fiction as much as in life.

19. The One Token Quirky Trait

He’s a genius but wears mismatched socks. She’s an assassin… who collects rubber ducks. Quirks are great—but don’t mistake them for personality. Let the odd details grow from their story, not just get tacked on like accessories.

20. The Quirky Best Friend™ (On the topic of quirks and lady friends)

They’re loud, chaotic, have no internal life of their own, and exist only to drag the protagonist out of their shell. Often red-haired. Often comic relief. While there’s nothing wrong with a bold, extroverted friend, real people have depth. What scares her? What does she regret? Don’t let her orbit the main character—let her live.

21. The Male Love Interest Who’s Rude But Hot

Grumpy/sunshine can be fun, it’s literally one of my favourite tropes, but not when “grumpy” just means “emotionally abusive.” Snapping at waiters, being cruel for no reason, or playing mind games isn’t charming—it’s concerning. Redeem this archetype by giving him emotional maturity, not just abs and trauma.

Some clichés can be used well—but only if they’re aware of themselves. If you recognize the trope, ask: what would this look like if it happened to a real, flawed, complicated person? That’s where tired becomes timeless.

[mothmans-side-ho]

Armand called Lestat a clown in the most round about way

s2e3 hot wired the two passions in my brain into this info dump, however seeing as a central theme of this episode (and the season) is power, status, and their subversions, it seems relevant. for context, I have 2 degrees in theatre, specifically theatre history and how trends effect form. (I am in no way an expert though, and this is very simplified). long story short, I'm relishing in being a big ol nerd about this entire season

FINALLY, we got to see Lestat (a version of) strutting his stuff on stage in a scene with peak commedia dell'arte shenanigans. Commedia dell'arte is/was an originally Italian form of theatre which was defined by lazzi (comedic bits), improv, and stock characters. these stock characters have been around from Roman times and are still super familiar to us today - the young lovers, the pervy old rich man, the soldier with bravado, etc. It's been seen as a somewhat formulaic form of theatre which relied on quickly identifiable characters and situations so audiences can sit back and enjoy the butt jokes and servant beatings.

In the book - specifically The Vampire Lestat - our beloved Lestat RELISHES in playing a character called Lelio, one of the young lovers. It is in playing Lelio that he "found a tongue for verses and wit [he]'d never had in life" (TVL pg 31). It is in playing Lelio that Lestat first gets a taste of the person he can become, and it is in Lelio that we see the first glimpses of the Lestat which so fully seduces Louis. In short, Lestat casts himself as the suave and handsome romantic protagonist, here to sweep people off their feet. The young lovers are also notably some of the only roles portrayed without masks, to emphasize their youth and natural beauty.

SO IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN LESTAT SHOWS UP IN S2E3 DRESSED LIKE THIS:

He has a half mask! He's wearing all sorts of colors! He's clearly acting as a go between between two other characters who seem to be of a higher status than him! As I said before, commedia dell'arte can be very formulaic (especially by the late 1700s when it is being codified away from being improv focused to being cemented into scripts). From all of these visual and characterization clues, Lestat is not playing Lelio the young lover, he's playing a Harlequin! And his costume seems to be heavily based off of this Harlequin (Arlecchino, Arlecino, etc.) which is literally the wikipedia image of a Harlequin.

(note, if you give a fuck, this image is depicting an Arlechino from 1671, roughly 125 years before Lestat on stage. in my mind, this accounts for the changes in silhouette, styling, why Lestat doesn't wear the mask for the entirety of the performance, etc. Also, just while we're talking about costuming, I believe the late 18th Century was still a time in which actors would have been expected to provide their own costumes, which would explain why Lestat's version is made with expensive fabrics and includes cunty little details like the bow in his hair. At the very least, I can see him making looking good a priority as the owner of the theater and as...well...Lestat.)

Okay, okay, okay. Why does this matter?

Harlequins are not characters of any social status. They're servants who are quick witted enough to get into antics but stupid enough to be commanded by animalistic instincts (lust, food, you name it). The Harlequin being beaten by their master was ENORMOUSLY funny, and is the origin of the term "slapstick comedy". They a memorable iteration of clown.

In this scene, which I'm willing to bet was inspired by (if not outright) Carlo Goldoni's A Servant of Two Masters, Lestat plays a servant who interacts with two characters. One appears to be a young woman in a breeches part - another common trope of commedia performance. The other appears to be the young male lover! We see Lestat prancing between the two, seemingly facilitating some romance plot, being paid for his compliance, and doing a good ol fashioned butt lazzi. (Could he be presenting his ass for beating? Maybe.)

So why is Lestat not the young valiant lover, but instead A LITERAL CLOWN? Three potential, not conflicting, reasons. By the time Lestat is performing (mid to late 1790s, based off Armand's earlier comment about Robespierre's 1794 execution), the Harlequin characters were the most sought after roles! At this time, we are seeing the emergence of "Celebrity Culture" where audiences sought out actors for their off-stage personalities as much as their on-stage ones. This is an extremely fitting position for Lestat to fall into. Yay a semblance of historical accuracy!

Secondly, Lestat's ENTIRE ROLE in season two is to come between this season's new pair of young(ish) lovers: Louis & Armand. Lestat's function is to repeatedly detract and distract from their relationship through Dreamstat's antics (appearing at the piano calling Louis a whore, having Louis re-kill him, etc.). Additionally, simply put, Lestat (and Sam Reid as Lestat) is a lot of fun to watch. He is absolutely a stand out (if not THE stand out) of the show! His constant ability to serve cunt is often what your eye is drawn to, he pulls focus to himself, and often undercuts the more subdued, philosophical, and morose nature of others. Both on-stage and on-screen, Lestat continuously upstages his screen partners. He does kinda function as a Harlequin. But in the end, the Harlequin's antics are also what ultimately drive the young lovers together. If not for Lestat's actions, Louis and Armand would have never met nor bonded over knowing this fucked up brat prince.

But we also have to remember! This portion of the episode is presented by Armand the mind fuckery master. It is absolutely in his best interests to paint Lestat as some sort of ridiculous, lesser being driven by animalistic nature. Especially if - by extension of the metaphor - this frames he and Louis as the virtuous and optimistic young lovers, striving to cling to each other in a world of chaos. I would be EXTREMELY interested to see if, when recollected by someone else, Lestat appears in a different role or characterized differently.

Again, given the celebrity culture of the time and Lestat being himself, it is entirely believable that he would appear in the Harlequin role (Truffaldino, if this is Goldoni's Servant). However, I think it's extremely telling that in Armand's iteration of the story Lestat is not the dignified, refined, and sympathetic young romantic. He is instead a literal fucking clown.

[thetrialsandtribulationsofeb]

i genuinely don’t understand how being afraid of GA’s reaction to buddie might be a reason for them not to become canon, just like being afraid of making them canon because they’d lose their will-they-won’t-they appeal. if you think about it, there’s actually a vacant spot for a gay couple on the show since michael and david left, and buck and tommy broke up. and also, after the bi-buck canonization, they did lose some of the audience, yes - but they also gained some. just look at how quickly people jumped on the bucktommy ship. and at least this time, with buddie, the ship would actually be worth it - it would be a beautiful relationship based on years of friendship and shared values, instead of whatever the shitshow bucktommy was

plus, i don’t see a problem with “suddenly making eddie gay,” because, first of all, they already gave one of their main characters a bi-awakening recently, and it went pretty well in terms of GA’s reaction. sure, there were some negative opinions, but overall GA accepted it, and it could’ve been way worse. which is a good thing - thank god society is more open-minded now than it was even ten years ago. secondly, they had michael realize his sexuality in his 50s, and tommy is another character who spent most of his life in the closet and was in a relationship with a woman before coming out. if they give depth to eddie’s gay awakening, i do believe the GA will get it. and yeah, maybe more people will fall out - but they’ll be replaced by a new audience who’ll be excited about a queer friends-to-lovers canonization

and lastly, yes, making eddie gay is “risky” because “there will be too many queer characters,” but also… considering how pointless and frustrating his relationships with women have been, and how - statistically - half of the main characters on the show are still canonically straight: bobby, athena, chimney, and maddie (we can headcanon all we want, but textually there’s not much to suggest most of them are queer). meanwhile, in eddie’s case, people can write entire essays on why he’s queer, using multiple moments from the show as evidence. it will make sense, if they handle it right

so if they make buddie canon, there would be two straight main pairings and two queer main pairings (one wlw and one mlm). that’s literally the perfect ratio for a major network tv show

and it’s just kind of funny how the writers or producers - or both - think that making buddie canon is some huge risk, but then they kill off the main character, who was also GA’s favorite, on a show that was known and loved for its found family trope and for keeping its characters alive - which is what set it apart from other procedural dramas. and it’s very funny to scroll through 911’s social media accounts, because the comments are just a complete mess. like kenny said, no one is happy. and no one cares about the new spinoff. if i were abc, i’d be so embarrassed. like, how do you mess it up this badly? and now they’re just ignoring the backlash and acting like it’s all fine. but every promo tactic feels awkward and fake because everyone is still running on disappointment and can’t fully believe in the show’s bright future anymore

honestly, the only way to save themselves is to bring bobby back (even if it’s ridiculous writing-wise) and make buddie canon in season 9 - not a season later. ’cause after everything they did with these characters in season 8, it would just be stupid and illogical for them not to end up together. again, it’s like if nick and jess or ross and rachel never kissed after all that romantic buildup. you can’t write two characters with textbook will-they-won’t-they energy and then never acknowledge it. i know it happened before with both straight and queer ships, but how long will this go on? when will they learn that it’s bad storytelling and frustrating for the audience?

and shutting buddie down once and for all won’t work at this point - it’s too late. if they both stay single forever or get into yet another flat and pointless relationships, it won’t land. hell, even if they do write good, interesting relationships for both of them, it’ll still feel disappointing, because buddie will forever be the ship that got away. it’s like if amy and jake married other people. or like robin and barney divorcing and ted and robin ending up together (some people liked it, sure, but most fans are still mad about that ending to this day)

and if bobby stays dead and buddie never happens, they’ll probably lose like… 80% of the audience. the only ones who’ll stay are the casual viewers who watch it in the background and don’t think too deeply about the story, and the die-hard fans who are too emotionally invested to quit. and that would go down as one of the stupidest acts of self-sabotage in tv history. but if they bring back bobby-peter and make buddie canon, it could actually become one of the most interesting, talked-about tv moments in a long time

so if i were abc, i’d be talking some serious sense into the writers and doing everything i could to save my ratings and my fanbase. because the marketing they’re using now won’t work in the long run

but only time will tell which direction this story takes

[girlactionfigure]

what is happening on the...right?

MARCH 23, 2025

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know I’ve spent the past five or so years sounding the alarm -- evidently in vain -- on the mainstreaming of what was once relatively fringe antisemitism on the left of the political spectrum, particularly in the West. 

Now, I’m noticing a similar pattern taking hold on the right, and we need to talk about it.

Please note this post will discuss this issue primarily in an American context.

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Like left-wing antisemitism, right-wing antisemitism is hardly a new phenomenon. After all, antisemitism, as the “world’s oldest hatred,” long predates the left-right political spectrum as we understand it today. The Nazi regime, for example, which murdered nearly 70% of Europe’s Jewish population, is what we would consider far-right. White supremacists, who hate Jews as a matter of principle, are far-right. 

But since the Holocaust, blatantly overt and violent right-wing antisemitism -- temporarily, at least -- became increasingly sidelined in mainstream right-wing politics, especially with the rise of Christian Zionism and Evangelical influence on American politics (more on this in a second). 

That’s not to say right-wing antisemitism ever truly disappeared from the mainstream right, because it didn’t.It simply became more covert. For example, the McCarthyist purges of the 1950s carried heavy antisemitic undertones, and McCarthy was, by all accounts, an antisemite, but at least in the open, he was going after “communists,” not Jews.

A RISE IN LEFT-WING ANTISEMITISM WILL ALWAYS LEAD TO A RISE IN RIGHT-WING ANTISEMITISM, AND VICE VERSA

Left and right antisemitism work together, not apart. They are not two separate entities. They utilize the same tropes, same conspiracies, and same stereotypes. Time and time again in history, and to the present day, right-wing antisemites have collaborated with left-wing antisemites with one ulterior mission: to hurt Jews. Antisemites always prioritize their antisemitism over their political views.

When antisemitism rises on the left -- as we have seen in the aftermath of the October 7 massacre -- it also rises on the right, and vice versa. When left-wing antisemites spread antisemitic conspiracies, stereotypes, and tropes, white supremacists hear them loud and clear, and vice versa.

It’s no surprise that with the mainstreaming of left-wing antisemitism in the aftermath of October 7, the antisemitic rhetoric of notorious far-right figures such as Candace Owens, Dan Bilzerian, David Duke, and Nick Fuentes is suddenly gaining more and more traction on the mainstream right as well. 

Antisemitism is not a political position, though it is often weaponized by politicians, and addressing it as such is a distraction that hinders our ability to effectively combat how this bigotry moves and functions.

CHRISTIAN ZIONISM AND THE POLITICAL RIGHT

Zionism is the belief that Jews have a right to self-determination in the Land of Israel. In modern terms, this translates to support for the State of Israel’s continued existence. There are many Christians who are Zionists, but this differs from an entirely separate movement known as Christian Zionism. 

Christian Zionism is the belief that the return of Jews to the Land of Israel and the establishment of the State of Israel in 1948 was the fulfillment of a Biblical prophecy. Many Christian Zionists also believe that the gathering of all Jews in Israel is a prerequisite for the Second Coming of Jesus. Jews will then be faced with the choice of converting to Christianity or death. Christian Zionism sees Jews and the State of Israel as a means to an end. It’s not about Jewish autonomy, sovereignty, identity, safety, or beliefs. 

Christian Zionism is deeply popular with the right-wing American voter base and has been since the 1970s; as many as 80% of Evangelical Christians are Christian Zionists. However, though naturally many Jews consider the movement uncomfortable, if not outright antisemitic, it is much less overtly antisemitic than the antisemitism we see from far-right white supremacists like David Duke or figures such as Candace Jones.

THE MAINSTREAMING OF CHRISTIAN ZIONISM

American conservative right-wing attitudes toward the Jews started shifting after the Holocaust, but what really changed it all was the mainstreaming of Christian Zionism. 

In the 1970s, an American pastor named Rev. Jerry Falwell formed an organization called the Moral Majority, with the purpose of mobilizing conservative Christians to register to vote for conservative candidates. One of the founding principles of the organization was “support for Israel and Jewish people everywhere.” By the 1980s, the Moral Majority had some six million members. They are credited for putting Ronald Reagan in office.

Falwell was a televangelist, and in 1980, he went on television in front of millions of viewers and stated, “I firmly believe God has blessed America because America has blessed the Jew. If this nation wants her fields to remain white with grain, her scientific achievements to remain notable, and her freedom to remain intact, America must continue to stand with Israel.”

While the Moral Majority was disbanded in 1989, 80% of American Evangelical Christians continue to support Christian Zionism. Despite their real intentions, this meant that, in practice, most conservative Americans started supporting policies regarding Israel that were usually -- but not always -- conducive to Jewish safety (after all, half of the world’s Jews live in Israel and most American Jews feel invested in the security and continued existence of the State of Israel). Overt expressions of conservative and/or Christian antisemitism became much less overt and less mainstream.

RIGHT-WING CONSPIRACY THEORISTS DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS, JEWS, AND ISRAEL 

Since the explosion of left-wing antisemitism post-October 7, overtly antisemitic figures on the right have gained more and more traction, often by regurgitating rhetoric that perfectly mirrors that of left-wing antisemites, or rhetoric that is only slightly repackaged to appeal to their right-wing audience. In particular, I’ve noticed influencers like Ian Carroll trying to drive a wedge between Evangelical/Christian supporters of Jews and Israel, thus pushing for overt antisemitism to become mainstream and accepted on the political right. 

Consider, for example, Carroll’s now infamous, conspiratorial, and blatantly false rant on the Twins Pod, shortly before he went on the Joe Rogan Experience, the most listened podcast in the world: 

“In the early 1900s…the Rothschild family hired this dude, this pastor, in the deep south. He made a new version of the Bible, called the Scofield Bible. He wrote this new Bible that has all these new interpretations of the text...that’s where Judeo-Christianity kinda came from, and the idea that…this modern Israel thing is the Israel of the Bible, it came from that Bible...And so they had the deals that they could make to get that Bible into all the mega churches across whole denominations of Christianity. So that was when Christianity got kind of…Jewified.”

A white supremacist and Holocaust denier Tweeted this regarding Ian Carroll’s nonsensical conspiracies about the “Scofield Bible”:

Conspiracy theories about and demonization of the Talmud are emblematic of the oldest kind of Christian antisemitism, dating to the Middle Ages. In his response, Carroll implies that his goal is to ultimately return this kind of classic antisemitic rhetoric to the mainstream.

THE RIGHT AND ANTISEMITIC PODCASTERS

The Joe Rogan Experience is the most listened to podcast in the world, with some 19.4 million subscribers on Spotify alone (that’s more subscribers than there are Jews in the world). While Joe Rogan doesn’t call himself a conservative, over half of his listener base identifies as Republican and even more identify as conservatives. In recent weeks, Rogan has hosted two prominent antisemitic conspiracy theorists on his podcast. Among them: 

Ian Carroll, whose comments on the show included calling Jeffrey Epstein “a Jewish organization working on behalf of Israel” and blaming Israel for 9/11.

Darryl Cooper, a Holocaust revisionist, who used his platform on Rogan’s show to call Jews paranoid, claim Hitler opposed Kristallnacht, and insist that Hitler’s antisemitism was a natural response to Germany’s sorry economic state post-World War I.

Rogan justifies inviting these guests on as “just asking questions,” but he never seriously challenges their harmful claims.

Meanwhile, for months, other popular conservative podcasters such as Candace Owens and Tucker Carlson have spent the past year or so really ramping up the antisemitic rhetoric on their respective platforms, engaging on everything from Holocaust denial to October 7 denial to conspiracies about the Talmud and more.

Blair White is a conservative influencer and political commentator who in the past has expressed support for Israel. Now, as antisemitic conspiracies become more and more popular among right-wing figures, she too is engaging in this rhetoric.

For a full bibliography of my sources, please head over to my Instagram and  Patreon. 

rootsmetals

will be VERY interesting to see who shares this who hasn’t shared any of my posts about antisemitism on the left…and vice versa 👀

[thecapricunt1616]

Very First Time (c.b. one-shot)

𝓢𝓷𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓽 (𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): “It’s you who wants to kiss me. I told you I’m a better kisser then you, so, if you don’t believe me why don’t you come find out.” He mused and went right back to reading. You sat there for a few moments, dumbfounded. You had a crush on Carmy, but it was only founded when you weren’t together - well, that was a lie, you still thought about kissing him while you were with him but would scold yourself for it that it was weird because he’s your best friend and it’s wrong to think of him that way. 

♡ Chapter Inspo: So High School - Taylor Swift ; "You know what you wanted & boy you got her" ♡ Summary: Based on ✩This✩ big brained ask from @carmenberzattosgf ♡ W/C: 9.4K ♡ Posted Date: 06/11/2024 ♡ A/N: Omg I had so much fucking fun writing this you have no idea!!! I hope this satisfies your virgin carmy tooth my dirty olive martini! Also, New look for this one shot how are we feeling yall? ♡ Warnings for BTC: SMUT SMUT SMUT, Characters are 18+, High school relationship, childhood best friend trope, virgin!carmy, Fem!/AFAB!Reader, R has long hair, No use of Y/N (r goes by childhood nickname 'squish'

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

2010

You had thought about this year at least monthly since … well - kindergarten. This was your year. 

Graduation year. 

4 decent years of high school were coming to a close. You were freshly 18 as of last week, and felt exactly the same. You actually felt worse now that your birthday had passed you by. Why? Oh. Virginity. Still having one, that thing. 

As far as you knew, all of your friends had lost theirs by now, well - you weren’t so sure. You’d think asking your longest time friend if they were also holding onto their precious dire to get rid of virginity cards as well would be easy, right? 

Wrong. Very wrong. 

This was because your bestest longest term friend? You’d been concealing a massive crush on him since sophomore year. Well, actually - technically 7th grade, when he saved your volcano from prematurely erupting by pouring borax in the hole from his project about borax crystallization after the nastiest girl in the grade dumped the cup of vinegar in it while you weren’t looking so it would explode prematurely while the teacher wasn’t watching and you’d get zero credit. 

But, you told yourself that he was just a really nice person like his sister who had babysat you a few times, so he’d probably heard about you from her and was simply being friendly. Nevertheless, the interaction made you fast friends. 

What sealed the deal to you being so close, though, was when a few days later one of the mean boys in the grade tried to make Carmy his newest victim by continually throwing pencils at the back of his head. He did this every class to someone new, and always while the teacher wasn’t looking. 

You had waited just until half a second before the pencil flew and  “Mrs.Harrison!” urgently left your lips, she quickly looked up, just in time to see the moron let the pencil go, it hit the back of Carmys head, and for Carmy send him a silent glare. 

“Jared! That’s a week of detention. It has been you with those pencils. I’m calling home too- this disruptive behavior is unacceptable!” She was so focused on writing out detention slips that she didn’t even remember you had grabbed her attention. Carmy gave you one of his shy close-mouthed smiles that made his adorable dimples show before going back to drawing some pair of cargo jean looking things on the inside of his notebook cover. 

This sealed your friendship because you had shown him your loyalty. You have my back, I have yours was always the mentality between you two. By the time you got to high school, you and Carmy were attached at the hip. In middle school, specifically in eighth grade, people would tease you two that you were dating. 

The both of you were late bloomers and hadn’t even thought about Carmy or anyone in that way yet, but by sophomore year of high school the teasing really hit home because you did have a crush on him but thought you were absolutely sure he could never like you back, that he saw you as a sister. 

Until one fateful June afternoon. 

You were laid on your full sized bed together in your childhood bedroom, flicking through a J-14 magazine to get all the latest gossip on the celebrities you follow when you settle on the Ask Sabrina page, a forum where a girl answers dating and love questions. 

Dear Sabrina, 

I was wondering - what age should you have your first kiss, French kiss, lose your virginity etc? I’m already 16 and I haven’t had sex yet, I had my first kiss at 14 and my first French kiss this year. But I feel like such a loser cause all my friends are having sex, and say it’s so much fun!! Is it really worth the hype? 

Jane from California

You roll your eyes. 16 and already had her first French kiss. She was 2 years ahead of you in that sense. You hadn’t had sex yet, either. You hadn’t really kissed a boy for real either. The only kiss you’d had to date was -

Ew! 

You had to rectify this situation immediately. The only kiss you’d had to date was Billy Guerrero? In fifth grade?! You couldn’t believe yourself. You’d let time slip away, you’d let your real first kiss prime time slip away. What guy is gonna want a girl at college who was gonna want to date a girl who can’t even kiss properly! You’d bet Carmy had kissed girls, hell he’d probably had sex already. With who you weren’t sure because the only person Carmy opened his mouth to give more then a muttered yes or no were you, and his direct family. 

Maybe it was with Claire down the street, she always seemed to you to be sweet on him. He would probably be better for him, anyway. If Mikey wasn’t teasing him about her being his girlfriend, he was teasing about you being his girlfriend. Each time he brought it up Carmy would go red as a tomato and tell him to shut up, and if Richie was around it would get even worse. 

You wondered if he liked it, why he didn’t tell you about it - wait - why hadn’t the two of you talked about sex? It wasn’t until this moment you’d realized you’d never breached the topic. You laid your magazine on your chest, flicking the cover of Carmys Spider-Man comic with your nail to get his attention from your position sprawled out over his thighs as your pillow. 

“Mm” he hums in response, blue eyes continuing to move across the page. That was something you always loved about Carmy, those large round blue eyes. You loved to tease him that he looked like Flik from bugs life. You’d done very intense studying of those eyes from your many intense staring contests over the summer breaks you two spent together, he would cheat to win, of course - but you liked having an excuse to look at his eyes, so you didn’t mind. 

“What was your first kiss like?” You test the waters. Without even realizing what you had done, he mirrored you and laid his open comic on his chest to hold his page so he could give you his full attention. 

“First kiss?” He repeats. You couldn’t believe how much better his stutter had gotten over last summer. He had told you he wanted it gone or at least as gone as he could get it by the time you went off to college, so the two of you checked out all the speech pathology books the library had to offer and got to work every day. It was hard work, but after about a month he got the hang of it. 

“Very first kiss, well - real kiss” you clarify and by nature he brushed away your bangs that had fallen in front of your eyes from the woosh of air that came from putting his comic down. 

“Uh- w-wh-“ he stops himself, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, focusing really hard on what he was trying to say and a few seconds later he tries again “what’s a real kiss? Like a kiss that’s not just the back of my hand?” He joked and you snorted a chuckle, rolling your eyes playfully. 

“Yes dummy like- like a real kiss on a date or something or like…I dunno have you ever had a girlfriend? Well, before you met me? Would a 6th grade girlfriend count?” You thought out loud. You hadn’t ever had a boyfriend before, and Carmy hadn’t said he was dating anyone and spent all of his time with you that wasn’t spent at home or at school, so you could safely assume he hadn’t, but just wanted to be sure. 

“n-no- no girlfriend uh- why do you ask?” He cleared his throat that way Richie did after he asked a question he knew was stupid and you shrugged a bit 

“So who have you kissed? Claire?” You ask and those big blue eyes go wide as saucers as he shakes his head no like a bobble head 

“What - what?! W-why why would you think I kissed Claire? Claire- Claire Dunlap? from down the street?” He clarified, his cheeks heating up

“Woah! Do you have a crush on her?” You sat up and he groaned, rubbing over his face dramatically. 

“Squiiish. Not you too” he groaned dramatically. “No! I don’t like Claire! Actually to be f-fucking honest everyone always trying to cram her down my throat makes me hate her!” He huffed 

“Well then who have you kissed! A real kiss!?” You question with a laugh, unsure why he was being so secretive over something so small. The two of you could vote in the next election for Christ sake, a kiss shouldn’t be this big of a deal. 

“No one!” He blurts, the heat from his cheeks bleeding up to the tips of his ears and down his neck and collarbones. “There. Ok! No one and I sure as fuck didn’t kiss Claire Dunlap.” He crossed his arms, averting your gaze. You were sat there, just staring. You were frankly trying to absorb that, it was surprising to you with such a stud of an older brother - he hadn’t gotten around. 

“Me either” you said after a few beats of silence and his eyes quickly found yours again, mouth dropping slightly and he blinked a few times, the way that told you he was trying to digest what you were saying. 

“Y-you haven’t kissed Claire-“

“Anyone” you interrupted. His jaw dropped like a trout as he stared at you in shock and you grabbed your magazine, rolling it up and bonking him on the head with it.  “Don’t look at me like that! You haven’t kissed anyone either! I technically have you beat because I kissed Billy G. at recess in fifth grade once even though it was just like… a mom kiss you know like a- like” you demonstrate a little puckery peck of your lips. 

His eyes narrowed with jealousy and you smiled proudly “Squish, one - Bear? Zero” that was one thing about you two, you were always in a competition of some kind. Who could run farther, who could read a book faster, who could get their homework done first, you never realized it translated into other things too, and that neither of you were in the lead. 

“I bet I’m better then you at kissing even though I haven’t done it I’ve practiced more so I’m good when it’s time for me to show my skill” he smirked, picking up his comic again. You scoffed 

“Practice? On what, your bathroom mirror? It doesn’t count if it’s not a person, dummy.” You said and he shrugged 

“Find out” he said casually, eyes not tearing up from the page. Now it was your cheeks that felt like they were on fire. Find out?! Find out what, does he even realize what he’s offering you right now?! 

“Find out? What- you want to kiss me?” You said and he smirked a bit, dimples showing and his eyes flick back to yours. 

“It’s you who wants to kiss me. I told you I’m a better kisser then you, so, if you don’t believe me why don’t you come find out.” He mused and went right back to reading. You sat there for a few moments, dumbfounded. You had a crush on Carmy, but it was only founded when you weren’t together - well, that was a lie, you still thought about kissing him while you were with him but would scold yourself for it that it was weird because he’s your best friend and it’s wrong to think of him that way. 

But now he was just offering like it was his apple he didn’t want at lunch.  

“French or regular?” You ask, trying to play it cool and the astonished look on his face led you to cackle, shoving his shoulder “what?! Stop looking at me like that weirdo!” You said and he smiled, shaking his head and doing one of those slow Carmy blinks as he sighs, a little smirk on his lips. He always reminded you of Natalie when he did that, he must have gotten it from her. 

“You want me to stick my tongue in your mouth?” He mused and you nod

“I actually think it goes both ways- and with 0 practice I’d win. Sure of it.” You said cockily and shrugged a bit. He snorts a chuckle

“And how do we determine a winner?” He asked, shutting his comic and resting it on the nightstand next to your bed like he was genuinely weighing the offer in his mind. 

You were quiet for a few moments, looking at him carefully - and it seemed like he was serious as you were, so you said “It’s supposed to feel good, right? So…whoever like..moans first?” 

“Uh o-okay- okay sure um.” He swallowed thickly, wiping his hands on his jeans that you assumed were clammy now how they got when he was nervous. “So- how- how do you wanna like- sit,” he asked. Fuck. You were just now realizing you weren’t actually sure. Your heart was thumping so hard in your chest, blood was roaring in your ears. This was all going so fast - you were going to do it. You were going to kiss your crush. 

“Uh-“ you said stupidly, tucking your hair behind your ears and digging your chapstick out of your pocket, cause guys like soft cherry flavored lips, right? If he was kissing you for a stupid competition you may as well make it good. “Yeah um. I think, maybe criss cross? Right? Like how we would play sailer by the sea” you crossed your legs and sat in front of him 

“We should play later I’ve been practicing with nat - I’m totally gonna beat you” he crossed his legs, and you moved in closer so your knees were touching but your faces were still about 2 feet apart, too big a distance for a kiss. “Also- we’re gonna need to be closer” he said plainly. You snorted a laugh,

“Yes - we can play. How am I supposed to get closer?” You asked, and in one fluid motion he stuck his hands under your calves, and uncrossed your legs before dragging you forward quickly and wrapping your legs around his waist. You could feel his breath. 

“There” he looks at you, eyes fanning from your eyes to your lips and back again. “That’s ok, right?” The low softness of his voice, mixed with the action of him just taking control how he did - it sent this feeling down to your core that felt so good. Like a pleasureful pulsing heartbeat, the only time you got that feeling was when you were alone in bed at night squeezing your thighs together thinking about Carmy. 

“Mmhmm” you hummed, unsure what to do with your hands so you settled for placing them on your thighs. “So- uh- ok. I guess um..let’s get started?” Your voice was small, nervous. A definite switch of roles for the two of you. You weren’t sure if this was normal, but you assumed it was for Carmy. 

He was being so normal about it, the same normal he was when you got your period at his house - he just went to Natalie’s bathroom, and came back to the guest bathroom with a few pads and tampons for you, as well as feminine wipes - normal. Not weird, like this happens every day for him. Like - periods (or in this case) sex isn’t the most embarrassing thing to teen life. His chill demeanor told you that he strictly saw it as a platonic friendly competition, so why do your panties feel sticky all the sudden?

“It’s ok- we don’t have to-“ he’s interrupted by your lips on his, 

Now or never, right? 

It was warm, a little messy at first, you found out quickly you should close your eyes since he closed his and once you did it was much easier to just focus on the sensation. His lips were soft, he tasted like the bowl of trix cereal he must have had before he came over. The way his lips moved with yours was… gentle, sweet, unhurried- you found yourself chasing them when he pulled away slightly and that caused you to open your eyes 

“You-“ he huffs a small chuckle “you have t’kiss back, Squish. S’like i’m kissing a wall here” he said. You took a shaky breath, not even realizing you were just sat there like a dead fish, unmoving, in awe that his lips were really on yours. If you hadn’t just finished your period a week ago you’d be scrambling to the bathroom to see what was going on because you were gushing. 

“Uh- sorry- sorry. I was just warming up” you clear your throat awkwardly, fingers tapping on your thighs nervously “lets try again” you said, leaning in and additionally mashing your nose with his “ow- oh- gosh, sorry” you giggle and he followed suit 

“S’not your fault my beak is getting in the way” he joked, gently tilting your face and bringing his lips back to yours. You got the message this time, moving your lips with his and wow. It felt…good. That heartbeat right above your cunt had never pulsed so hard before, it nearly hurt and you weren’t sure what to do about it with him right there. 

You’d usually use the firm corner of one of your throw pillows you kept on your bed when this uncomfortable sensation happened, thinking of exactly this - kissing Carmy - and hump it, and hump it, and hump it, until you were frustrated to tears because you still felt like you weren’t finished. That the feeling would never go away unless you stopped thinking about Carmy like that - but it was addictive, and you couldn’t help but think you were chasing something. 

It all elevated when you felt his tongue on your bottom lip, it was almost like the sensation in your core was beginning to travel throughout your entire body and that had never happened before. It went from just that strong pulsing in your cunt, travelling to a tightness that was winding up in your stomach, your breasts felt good - as strange as that thought was, the only time you remembered they were there was when they were sore because your period was coming, so the warm gushy feeling in your chest and the pangs of pleasure that were coursing through you from the simple swipe of his tongue was something to be revered.

From there, it was like you were following a script you hadn’t even known you’d memorized. Your hands found his shoulders, before travelling to the back of his neck and rubbing over the little curls at the base. You swipe your tongue over his, fingers sprawling over the back of his head to pull him in closer. You didn’t know what came over you, but you deepened the kiss, and he accepted. His hands found the back of your waist, squeezing gently and trailing up your sides, stopping hard below your breasts.

You pulled away, looking at him. If it was any other day, he’d have thought you were initiating a staring contest, but the blown-out look in your eyes and small pants leaving your lips reminded him of when their family cat had a little too much catnip and started climbing the screen doors, wild. His eyes nearly fell out of his head when the next question left your lips 

“Have you had sex before?” your voice was breathy, if you had known better you’d have called it for what it was - horny. The only thing on your mind was Carmy, not how your mom would be home any minute and you forgot to take out the chicken for dinner, not how it probably isn’t a normal thing for best friends or any friends really, to kiss. But you and Carmy hadn’t really ever been ‘normal’ friends. 

“Uhhh” he tried to find his words. He looked so pretty. His cheeks were the pretty flush pink you loved on him so much, it suited him. His lips were swollen and kiss bitten and red. You realized that the glossiness on them was a mixture of your salivas and that brought a burst of that delicious warmth to your chest. “N-no, haven’t have you- I mean- can you have sex without kissing?” he wondered out loud.

“I don’t want to leave high school a virgin” you blurt out. It was half true, you did feel a bit like a loser, even though you could always lie and tell people you had done it even if you hadn’t. It also felt like the one opportunity was presenting itself for you to have sex with your childhood crush and if he agreed, then a win is a win in your book.

“Alright and- and uh” he sits back on the headboard, huffing a chuckle and rubbing over his mouth as he thought, staring up at the ceiling to try and get a gauge on what he was about to say. It was one of the habits he’d picked up during all of your speech practice together, it was cute, almost like he was stopping the words from falling out of his mouth before he was ready to say them so it didn’t come out all jumbly and stuttered. “And you wan’t help with this- i’m assuming you see it as a problem? Thats why you brought it up, right? You want help with that…issue” he mused. 

Suddenly, you felt really, really shy. Shy, stupid, flustered, any synonym for embarrassed and feeling like a complete and utter moron. “I shouldn’t have said anything - i’m sorry, uh- you win” You got up, going over to your dresser and digging out your after-school clothes to change since you were in jeans still. Why the hell would you say that? What, was he gonna just offer to have sex with y-

“I-I mean- I don’t want to, either. I just uh- haven’t… y’know - met anyone who I trusted enough to do it with. But- it- it felt good… the kiss? So, if you wanted we could um..cause- cause I trust you, I trust you more then like…anyone- so, yeah- I-I mean it’s like- like a favor right? You uh…scratch my back- er whatever the saying is- if- if you want to” you looked back at him to see him rambling with his gaze locked on the floor, clearly feeling as stupid and embarrassed as you feel. 

Holy shit, this may actually happen. 

“Yeah- yeah” you agree, mulling it over in your mind. He’s right, this shouldn’t change your friendship, because from what you’d heard - losing said virginity wasnt fun, it was weird, uncomfortable, and a little gross sometimes, so it was almost like you two could get the awkward first time part out of the way together so you could both hit the ground running in terms of dating and hooking up when it came to college, cause that's what college was supposed to be all about, right? Finding the love of your life?

“Sure- Uh-” you swallow thickly and toss him one of the many pairs of sweatpants he kept in your dresser for when he slept over as well as a fresh t-shirt and grab yourself a clean pair of panties from your top drawer since although the awkwardness had taken away that dull needy ache, you were still uncomfortably wet and had to get yourself cleaned up and changed. “How about Friday? My parents have their date night so- you could come over after school and we can um…do it?” you ask and he nodded quickly, grabbing the sweatpants and sweatshirt.

“Yeah- perfect, that’s - mmhmm” he swallowed hard, cheeks bright red. You would totally be making fun of him right now if you weren’t absolutely sure you looked just as flustered, the two of you sharing at eachother in silence like a pair of deer in headlights. 

“I’m gonna go change” you said and left the room, closing the bathroom door behind you and sighing deeply to yourself, leaning against the door. 

And so it was set. 

Carmy had exactly 3 days to study up on this topic other than sophomore health class he knew absolutely nothing about. Well- he had found one of Michaels Playboy magazines before when he was 14, it was the first time he popped a boner and it freaked him out so bad since his father wasn’t very present and Mike hadn’t given him the talk yet. It was a solid 2 months of worrying that he had some weird dick cancer because he got hard every time he peeked through said porn-mag before he asked Mike about it, and he still hasn’t lived down the teasing. Thank god Mike kept his word on not telling Richie.

The moment he left your house that day it was straight to the Chicago public library. 3 books, 3 days. He was going to do his homework on this, because he was going to win the game he knew was inevitably pun intended coming his way. It was going to become a competition, and he knew the name of the game in sex was an orgasm, he knew that much at least, thank god. 

The 3 titles he’d settled on, 

Sex For Dummies ; He’d figured that should speak for itself, it sounded to him like the beginners guide to fucking. He wondered why every teen didn’t get a copy of this book, he’d heard guys talking about how sometimes girls are really bad in bed - so if everyone got one, like the dictionaries they all got in elementary school - he thought their lives would probably be made easier in that department.

She Comes First; and boy, was that a read. He stayed up so late Wednesday night reading it that you had to wake him in homeroom when the bell rang to go to first period. He didn’t know there were so many things to know about a vagina, but he was confident now he probably knew more then any guy in the school about pussys and what gets them going at least on paper once he read all 350 pages in one day.

He comes next; It made alot of sense. This was the breaziest read for him, he sat on the L after school reading it on the ride home. Of course, the front was covered in a brown paper bag he’d taped to it so no one could tell what he was reading, he wasn't a pervert! He was glad he read she comes first, first, because he’d learned that girls can cum more then once, and that when they do - it gets better each time. He also learned that the clit is the best part to touch, and that it actually has like- a tail? Or something? Inside that you can mess with too, and it feels super good for the girl. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to find something like that with his dick, but he guessed he’d figure it out.

The day was finally here. You had been thinking about it all week long. The prep you were doing was very different then the prep he was. You were making sure your entire body was smooth, plucking your eyebrows, waxing your upper lip, whitening your teeth, shaving your big toe. Literally, anything and everything grooming. You had put on a lacy pink thong that you’d gotten at the mall a year or so ago in preparation for the night you finally did this, but after observing yourself in the mirror you felt insecure about it. It was just Carmy, he wasn’t into you, it would be weird if you tried to be sexy, right? Like you were trying to seduce him or something? So you settled on some plain grey panties, instead, and a black bra. 

You heard a knock at the door right at 7. Exactly on time, per usual. Your parents had left for their date 20 minutes ago, so it was perfect timing. When you opened the door, you heart may as well have melted and poured out of your ass to see Carmy standing there with a bundle of red roses. “Hey- uh- so - got you these” he thrust them in your direction. They were already cut, and thornless, ready to be plopped in a vase. You could see a little bandage on the pinky finger of his non-dominant hand that wasn’t there at school today, he must have pricked himself while he was trimming them up. 

“Y’get a girl flowers, you trim em’ up, n’for the roses gotta take the thorns off, eh’? Don’t wan’t t’hurt ylady do you? And you trim ‘em cause girls like it, makes em’ all even n’shit. N’it Makes em’ live longer too. Y’givin a gift not a chore heard? Flowers need to be able to be dropped in a vase and that's it, otherwise y’re a prick f’givin’ y’r lady a job t’do” Mikey explained as he snipped the thorns off of the roses he’d gotten for his date. The conversation stuck with Carmy all these years, he promised himself one day he’d put the advice to use.

“Oh- wow - Bear, these are like -” you leaned in, smelling them deeply, the sweet floral sense filling your nose “Wow- this is so sweet of you, you didn’t have to” you stepped back and opened the door wider. He followed you in, shutting the door behind him like usual.

“Mikey says it’s what y’do I guess, so - expect flowers from guys you do this with” he nudged you with his shoulder playfully. The action made your heart flutter but also stomach sink , heavy with nerves. Right. He’s here to just get something over with, like he was probably expecting you to be and the flowers were just a result of him wanting to do things right and not because he had any real, tangible feelings for you other than platonic.

“Mmm, will do. Thanks- I’m gonna go get these in some water, you can get settled” you told him and headed into the kitchen to find a vase. When you came back to the room his hoodie was neatly folded and sitting on your desk, his shoes tucked away beneath it and there was a… towel? On your bed? 

“Uh-” you set the vase of flowers on your dresser 

“Right- uh- so the towel, they say in the books for your first time, sometimes girls will bleed a little? Or- or if I do it right things can get really wet, so…just trying to be proactive I didn’t wanna make a huge mess y’know?” he explained while staring at the towel and rubbing the back of his neck nervously how he did, heat creeping across the bridge of his nose and onto his cheeks.

“You…studied?” you smile a bit at the idea. You wondered how he did so, did he just watch porn?! You had heard from girls with boyfriends that watch porn - the sex was usually bad, and that they went way to hard and fast. You hoped it wasn’t that.

“Yeah I read some stuff.. How else will I know what the fuck m’doin?” he watched you as you sat down on top of the towel, assuming that was the spot he meant for you. 

“Uh- yea…yeah. Ok, well thanks- I guess I should have studied, too. Didn’t even think about it- my legs are soft, though. And I shaved my - um- yeah.” you said, voice getting meeker and smaller by the end. The two of you were never like this, it was usually constant banter and comfortable silence. Awkwardness wasnt something the two of you experienced together up until now.

“Thank you- you didn’t have to it’s…it’s just hair. But um…go pee, before we get started- you should pee.” he sat down on the bed in front of you. You looked at him confused, brows furrowing together but before you could ask he added “In the books, they said for girls - it can feel like…like you need to pee, right before the good part if I do it right. So, if I do do it right- I want you to be able to finish instead of worrying if you’ll pee on me, so I figured if you go pee now then-” you held your hand up, shaking your head as you stood.

“No further info needed” you said as you padded off to the bathroom. Even though the shower you had taken not even an hour prior to him coming over was so thorough made you fresh as the day you were born you still wiped up with babywipes before coming back to see 2 granola bars and 2 bottles of water on the nightstand. “Are you planning on making me pass out or something?” you joked, sitting back on the towel like before. 

He chuckled a bit “Well if i’m that good my first time it’ll be a record or something I bet” he rubbed his forearm nervously “So um..should we kiss? Like last time?” he asked, averting your gaze. You didn’t know this, but he thought he was genuinely about to have a heart attack, and the only reason he was continuing instead of asking you to call an ambulance was because if he was to die in your bed while making out because of the sheer excitement that came with the potential of you touching his dick, he would have died happy. 

The question being asked in that soft, sweet tone of his- syrupy and honest, made your stomach flip- and there was a pang of warmth to your heat that made your heart jump to your throat with anticipation. You couldn’t answer, instead, you just nodded, not breaking his gaze. Jesus fucking Christ those eyes. You had only seen the ocean once, in Hawaii on a vacation. His eyes made you think of the waters in Maui, that was how blue. You could get lost in them like they were the ocean, they often rendered you speechless, like he could peer into your soul. “Okay” he said gently.

This time, the kisses started small. He gently pecked the corner of your lips, before you remembered that yes you had a job to do here as well, and you put your hand gently on the side of his cheek, barely touching him. He could feel you shaking, so he put his hand over yours, gently squeezing your four fingers as his lips captured yours in a tender, affectionate kiss. The feeling was so…different then last time. This time felt much more purposeful, and not in the get it over with way, in the i’ve been meaning to do this, way.

Honestly, the feeling made you dizzy. Not dizzy in the kind of way that immediately made you want to throw up, -

 (Carmy learned you got very motion sick very quick at your 15th birthday party when he, Mike, Natalie, and Richie were teaching you how to play dead-man on the trampoline and within 10 seconds of being bounced with your eyes closed by the 4 of them you were scrambling to throw up a mix of cake and pasta) 

- but dizzy in the way that you weren't forming any kind of memory of the encounter, and you also weren’t sure what you were doing - but you came to with your shirt off, dry humping your best friend as he laid sprawled over your floral duvet panting into each others mouths as your childhood teddybear watched the two of you manhandle eachother, he honestly looked like he was judging, but you mentally told him to fuck off.

“Yeah-” he breathed, his cheeks were a pretty pink, his pupils “I-I think that was um…better then last time. Do you feel hot? I feel hot” he admitted, swallowing hard as you both caught your breath. You looked down and oh, yeah - he's still fully dressed. You were still mostly dressed, too. Well, your shirt - you hadn’t a clue where it went, but your fluffy pajama pants were still suffocating your thighs and holy shit..

He is hard as a rock against your clothed pussy right now. 

You look back up at him, and nod in agreement. “Feels like - wow- yeah. Uh- m’hot” you got up and saw the evidence of his arousal straining against his jeans. “Uh- so…” you trail off 

“I think i’m supposed to do that part” he sat up, taking his shirt off in that silly boyish way with one fluid motion pulling it up over the back of his head, his sandy blonde hair becoming ruffled by the action. You look over his chest, not even bothering to not stare. That was the point of this whole thing right, to experience? In turn, he crossed his arms shyly, to be expected. Carmy had been open about his upset that he got more of his moms genes then his dads. He was short, softer-jawed, smaller-lipped, and bigger-eyed, the only thing he got was the big Italian Berzatto nose. 

His brother was tall, much broader, was able to grow a full face of stubble by 17. Carmy was still patchy, but he was proud of his little patch of curly brown hair in the middle of his chest. Mike kept telling him he would ‘grow like a weed’ as soon as he turned 20, he didn’t believe it, though. 

“Oh- yea? Thats what they said in your sex books” you teased and stepped forward, between his spread thighs, likely to give his dick breathing room. His hands found your hips as he snorted a chuckle 

“Shut up” he smiled and carefully pulled down the waistband of your pajama bottoms. “I did read…” he helped you step out of them, hands trailing up the backs of your now bare thighs. The action made goosebumps appear on your flesh, nearly made you shiver. “That you are supposed to cum first, it’s like…a warm up.” he explained, looking up at you as he made his way to hold your hips again. You realized quickly, that his hands were also trembling, and he kept stroking and petting you hoping you wouldn’t notice as much. 

Your panties had a dark spot on them that he became fixated on momentarily, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. You felt that twitching at his words, your hole clenching around absolutely nothing. You weren’t sure you could remember what color the sky was if someone asked at that moment, you were so focused on Carmy, it was like you two and this bedroom were the only things in the universe. “I haven’t been able to do it, I don’t think you’ll be able to - but you can try. How do you want to do this should I just lay down and I dunno… you stick it in? I got 3 boxes of condoms, different kinds just in case” you went to open your nightstand and he stopped you, grabbing your hand. 

He chuckled a bit, you took it as a you don’t know what you’re doing, let me explain kind of laugh, but really he was just wondering how the following words came out of his mouth “I’m supposed to eat your pussy, could I try?” 

You swore your knees went weak. Carmen, Carmen Berzatto wanted to go down on you. Thank god you made sure that department was taken care of so well in preparation. “Uhhh- alright” you sat down on the towel, twiddling your fingers nervously “So- wow uh” you giggle nervously, covering your mouth with your hand. 

“Your um..you look pretty, by the way” he said while looking at the duvet. He sounded as nervous as he was when he said that. He had thought you looked pretty from the moment he walked through the door, but was too nervous until you were both literally almost naked to say it. You could hardly believe it, because you did your best to not put in a ton of effort. Sure, you were very well groomed, but you didnt like - dress up or put makeup on or do your hair how you would have wanted, you were in regular bra and panties, and pajamas when he walked in. You were also pretty sure that you had a zit growing on your chin and really hoped he hadn’t noticed.

But, that was exactly why he thought you looked so pretty. He loved that you let him have you like this, well - in both senses. He felt so lucky to be able to see you comfortable, in your element. “Thanks, dork, so do you get the honors of taking my panties too?” you teased. That was the difference between you, when you got nervous you cracked jokes and made fun of him to ease the tension in your own mind  - when he got nervous he often got lost in the tension of his own mind causing him to go quiet. 

“I do actually, says the book- so lay down” he shoots back in the same teasing tone, a small smile gracing his lips once again. You, and his brother were the only 2 that could pull him out of his head so fast, and so easily. You shook your head, laying back on the pillows he’d set up and spreading your legs, laying your feet flat on the bed. He sat in front of you, running a hand up your leg and feeling over the soft, smooth skin. “You are really soft” he muttered, almost to himself, feeling up your thigh “Do you mind if I kiss you, here?” he asked gently, running a palm over the inner of your thigh. No one had ever touched you there, so the action made you shiver since the area was surprisingly sensitive.

“Sure” you said quietly, watching his every move with wide, curious eyes. You were sure the wet spot on your panties had grown tremendously due to the way you felt dripping down the curve of your ass, thank god for that towel when they come off or my sheets would probably soak through by the end of this. He started at your ankle, leaving gentle pecks and putting your manicured foot on his shoulder as he continued his journey of kissing up your shin, over your knee, not leaving a single part unkissed. If this is what sex was about, you totally got why all your friends were raving about it, because you were being driven absolutely wild and it hadn’t even really started yet. 

He kissed up to your thigh, laying down in between your legs. His forearms were wrapped around the plush of your thighs, hugging them as he left kisses over the waistband of your panties. The action made your stomach muscles clench at how good he was making you feel. You needed something to touch you, though. That was the only thing on your mind, but before you could ask - he beat you to it. “Would you be ok with me kissing your middle here?” his voice was husky, breathy. He was gripping your thighs so his hands wouldn't shake, he was fucking panting like he just ran the mile in P.E. and he wasn’t sure why. 

His mouth was watering at the smell of you, he had to fucking swallow a mouthful of spit before he could say something. He felt like a fucking starved animal, but he was gathering every polite, gentlemanly fiber of his being to remain kind, gentle. “Please do” you said and without hesitation, he was essentially making out with your cunt through your panties. The sight was filthy, but so sexy it was making your head spin. 

Whines and moans were leaving your throat you weren’t even aware of as you watch him, slack jawed and sucking at the fabric of your panties, grunting and moaning at the flavor. “T-take em off…please-” you weren’t sure where the bedroom voice that came out of you came from, but he seemed to like it at the way his eyes rolled and fluttered shut at the way you were begging for him to eat you out. 

He sat up just enough to get your panties pulled off, shoving them in the back pocket of his jeans before laying back down and resuming his position. “Taste so, so good, squish, better than I imagined” he said before kissing your mound. The wet clicking sound of your pussy clenching at his words made heat rush your cheeks in embarrassment, but it made his dick twitch against his jeans. “Can I kiss your clit?” he asked, the casualness of his tone made your head fall back on the pillow, covering your face with embarrassed hands at the vulgarity of it all.

“Go ahead, Bear” you said, smile lacing your voice. 

“I liked it when you were lookin’ at me, just so you know” he said, spreading you out with his fingers and looking for just a moment, he found it easily as it had grown nearly twice it’s size, peeking out of its hood. He attached his lips to it, just like the book he’d read said to do, and lightly sucked, before flicking his tongue lightly over it. Your hand clamps over your mouth to stifle the cry that left your throat, hips jerking and you grab his hair with your other hand, not even meaning to but tugging. 

This caused a moan to leave his throat, which in turn caused his lips to vibrate, and you looked down at him, vision hazy like a dream at the sensation. “God- oh god- feels so good Bear - wow- you’re so good at this” you said, breath heavy and jaw slack “uh-huh” you whine when he pads his tongue over your clit in wide, wet drags. The sounds his mouth was making as he sucked and kissed and lapped at your juices were absolute sin, the hottest shit you’d ever heard. 

“D’you like it more when I kiss your clit like I was doin’ or when I run my tongue on it like that?” he asked, sucking at your folds and nose nudging your clit as he waited for an answer. 

“Both - Both- everything feels good - you feel so good” you praised, pushing his bangs from his face. He smiled into you proudly, continuing to lick, and suck, and swirl his tongue. It had been a knot building for a while, and it had been about 30 minutes of him doing this, when you felt it. But, all the activities you’d been engaged in the conversation you had before you started slipped your mind. “Fuck- fuck - sorry- I gotta pee” you told him and tried to tug him off

“Y’dont, trust me, just trust me” he said determined, he had told himself before going into this that if he could make you cum, that it would be his prize because per the books he’d read one of the main complaints with women was that their male partners didn’t bother to be sure they finished, so if you never wanted to do this again - he’d pride himself internally forever on be the very first man to ever make you cum. 

You whined, back arching to the ceiling and hips dipping back into the bed. You didn’t want him to stop, so you weren’t sure why you were subconsciously trying to wiggle away. Your eyes had been closed for a few moments, and you felt a hand on your stomach, dancing fingers following it. You opened them to see him looking up at you, and his eyes flicker to his hand that was laying palm up on your belly before meeting your gaze again, in a silent ask for you to hold his hand. 

Without thinking, you did so, needing to be grounded in that moment. His thumb rubbed soothing strokes on the back of your hand as he built up the speed of his tongue, running it back and forth and up and down, flicking it, sucking on the sensitive nub until your brain turned to mush, and stars filled your vision. 

“Carmy Carmy- Oh shit- Yes” 

The grand finale only lasted about a minute or two, but by the end your thighs were shaking and you were gasping for breath. “Y’need to breathe, did you forget humans need oxygen to live?” he teased. You’d usually give him a light punch on the shoulder for that, but your whole body felt like warm jelly. 

“Shut up” you pant, looking down when you feel your clit twitching every few moments “I think you broke it its like.. Having a seizure or something” you said and you both burst into giggles. After a few moments of comfortable quiet you nudge him with your foot “Hey” he looks up at you “Its your turn now” you said and his brows raised

“Y-you don’t have t’do that, that was sex, so - congratulations we are both not virgins” he wiped his chin on the inside of his arm and sat up. You furrowed your brow

“No- I want to, I can make you cum, too ” you said, in your mind, it was a challenge - and when it came out of your mouth you realized how it sounded.

“Are you… asking me for permission to suck my dick?” he looked at you carefully. Shyly, you just nod. For whatever reason the nature of the room and this particular situation had the two of you acting out of traditional character roles, and he was the one being bold. “I want you to say it, then you can suck my dick” he said and stood up, unbuttoning his jeans and looking at you, brows raised expectantly as he waited for you to do as he asked.

Your throat suddenly felt dry, and you were starting to drip on that damn towel again. “Bear, I wanna suck your cock, Can I please?” you asked, tone innocent yet laced with a confident determination. His breath got caught in his throat, you swore his eyes could have fallen out. He didn’t know the word cock was apart of your very colorful vocabulary, he could have creamed his boxers with the way that the word rolled off of your tongue. 

“Sure” he said all too casual and tugged off his jeans, kicking them to the side. He laid down with you, like how he was while you were making out and you got on your knees tugging the waistband of his boxers until his cock came out and kissed his navel, the tip glistening with pre. 

“So-” you look at it, mouth watering at the sight. You had never done this, but you were sure that you knew one thing for sure, Carmy had a really pretty cock. You didn’t even realize you were staring until he said 

“S’not gonna suck itself, squish.” 

Oh, right, that was what you were doing. You grab it and he hissed “Fuckin’ hell- y’tryna rip it off? A little nicer, please” he chuckled a bit and you felt your cheeks heat, loosening your grip. 

“Sorry…” you said sheepishly, bending over and licking the tip of it, one slow drag from the back of your tongue to the tip of it, flicking your tongue over the slit your nose scrunching slightly at the new flavor. The action though, had Carm seeing stars and his toes curling.

“Hhhhnnn- oh my fucking god” he rasped. You figured that was a good thing, so you did it again “Squish I-” and again, “yes- fuck” and again, “Squish i-i’m gonna mmmmmffff” he whined, his cock twitching in your hand and leaking pre in a near continuous drip. You had no expirience, so you had no idea what this meant, or that he was trying to warn you. With 3 more slow sensual ball to tip licks, he was shooting cum all over your nose, upper lip, tongue, and chin. You squeak in surprise, sitting up and licking your lips. “Oh- hmmmmfuck- gimme a sec” he groaned, taking over for you and stroking himself, the remainder of his load shooting over his stomach. 

You watched in awe as he got himself off, back lightly arched and head fallen back, eyes closed as sexy pants and moans left his lips, along with soft “fuck - thank you, thank you” It was literally the hottest thing you had ever seen. He stopped after a moment, finding his breath and looking up at you, when he saw your milky white chin it both made his softening dick twitch and drew a chuckle from him. “When I keep saying im gonna do something and my dick is leaking like a broken sink it means open up er get out of the splash zone” he joked and grabbed his shirt, wiping your chin and neck. 

You laughed, laying back down and sighing contently. “Noted for next time” you said and he fixed his boxers, sitting up and stroking your calf. 

“There can be a next time? I mean…. I was hoping so that was really fun, felt really good” he said and you nod, smiling a bit 

“Sure, I mean, yeah… but it doesn’t mean we stop like- doing friend stuff, right?” you questioned. As much fun as you had, you could never give up something as treasured as your friendship for something as trivial as sex. 

“Oh, absolutely, who else is gonna wait w’me to get the new spiderman comics? And whos gonna feed you when your parents are out of town?” he teased and you rolled you eyes playfully, smiling and shaking your head. 

“Love you, dork” you bit your lip as he brought your other ankle to his lips. 

“Love y’too, Squish. Can I?” he looked down at your glistening core, before back at you. You bit your lip lightly, you weren’t sure if all men were this enthusiastic about eating pussy - but you were thankful that he was because your mind was still swimming from the last time and you had to experience it again. 

“Mmhmm” you spread your legs wider for him and he took your hand, lacing his fingers with yours as he got to work. You had found quickly that when you tell him something feels good or he’s doing a good job that it really got him going. It was cute, truly, how he loved being praised, so you made sure to do it whenever you could get something out that wasn't a babbled, coherent mess since the pleasure he was providing was causing your brain to short circuit.

An hour and a half and 3 orgasms later, after about 10 minutes of trying to catch your breath and cool down since you were boiling from the blood coursing your system like an F1 racetrack, you sit up. “M’gonna go get cleaned up” you said, going to get up on wobbly legs.

“No! No, I got it lay down don’worry” he said and made his way to the bathroom. He came back with babywipes and a wet wash cloth, as well as a dry clean towel to wipe off with after. He helped you wipe up and knowing your bedroom by heart, he went over to your dresser and got you a fresh set of panties and a tshirt, as well as a pair of his sweatpants so you could both be comfortable. After you had both gotten dressed, he laid in your bed after bringing the towel downstairs to the wash for you both as well as your dirty clothes, and you cuddled into his chest as you turned on your little tv, playing the next episode of Glee and he hands you a granola bar after being sure you had a few sips of water to replenish.

“To no longer being virgins, hm?” he smiled a bit, holding his bar up in a silly idea of a toast. You tap yours to his with a grin

“To no longer being virgins”

Part 2 here