#in my dreams i’m worth it
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why does nobody choose to stay?
is there something so wrong with me? 🥺
#why am i not worth it to anyone?#im so so so so tired#i just wanna sleep and not wake up ever#in my dreams i’m worth it#in my dreams i’m loved#in my dreams i’m held#$h relapse#$h vent#cvtaddict#tw sui talk#vent blog#tw drugs#tw self destruction#cvtt!ng#988blr#self h@rm#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#cvtblr#i wanna cvt#sh cvt#cvt addict
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not really here anymore
#twf#the walten files#the walten files fanart#twf fanart#susan woodings#twf susan#the walten files susan#twf4#the walten files 4#god#u have no clue how crazy that episode made me feel and how much it made all that Wait worth it. it was everything I’ve been killing to see#art#digital art#procreate#fanart#doodle#i wanna draw more 4 fanart but DRAINED BURNT OUT IM SICK AND BUSY UUUEJEJEGJJJHHHH I HATE DRAWBACKS SCREW EVERYTHING#also moving soon just don’t know what day cuz my dads friend needs to sort a bunch of stuff out#Also omg tysm for the 23 saves on my Susan playlist this is my dream as a Susan fan I feel so great I’m also super happy that many thought#of me when watching twf 4#yipeee
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Knightfall in Dream Land - Page 3
Meta Knight starts telling the kids the story of how he arrived on Popstar.
#Kirby#Kirby fanart#my art#comic#all of the parts of the comic that are set in the past will be drawn in the Kirby’s Adventure/Dream Land 1 art style#so that’s why Nightmare has his old design here and not his updated design#I’ve seen a lot of people going with the headcanons that Nightmare created Meta Knight or that he’s Meta’s father#but in my interpretation he didn’t create Meta he just found him in space and was like ‘hey a free baby’ lol#so Nightmare didn’t create him but he did raise him we’ll get into his motivations for this on the next page#I also have a headcanon that the reason Meta Knight has a Spanish accent and speaks Spanish is because he learned it from Nightmare#it might take a little longer for me to get the next page done I’m traveling for some school/work stuff pretty soon#but I hope that the next page will be worth the wait I’m glad that people are liking this comic so far!#Meta Knight#Bandana Dee#Sailor Dee#King Dedede#Nightmare#Knightfall in Dream Land#Metadede
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just internally screaming because how do i want to be a published writer when i can hardly write and im the only person my stories seem interesting to⁉️
#my diary#i’m genuinely freaking out#my dreams are too big they’re unrealistic#i mean i’m really not that amazing of a writer#i’m not doing anything groundbreaking#i only really have one WIP that’s worth anything and i can’t write long chapters i can’t write well#one time someone wouldn’t read it because it was too emotionally frusterating#i’m just#upset i guess#my brother is so good at what he does and i’m just better off going to get an office job or working in retail or something#i can barely call it my passion when i don’t make the time to do it
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It’s been 10 years and the online discussion on Whiplash is still really bad.
#my most generous take is that people have been fed a diet of movies with ‘follow your dreams’#that they can’t analyze a movie that’s trying to be even ambiguous on whether that is always worth it#I’m not even the biggest whiplash fan or anything online discussion for it is so..odd
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Applying for 50 jobs within 12 months and not getting a single offer is almost an accomplishment woah I’m so talented x
#it’s killing me j wasted the last 3 months of my life working full time unpaid (internship)#and I was like. j need to suck up this bc it’ll get me a job#and I’ve applied to 25 jobs since starting this internship and I have not succeeded in getting a job#I just want to kms I’m ngl#my current org has offered me a full time job buy for a salary that’s literally minimum wage#so. that’s pretty fucking crap#I applied to 25 jobs in the last month while working full time . like I am so exhausted#I had an interview yesterday morning literally the morning of my grandmas funeral and just got emailed now that I haven’t gotten the job#yknow? I’m just heartbroken at this point#and I still have 1 week left working this internship and there’s literally no point#I was literally a middle level manager in this current job for no pay even worker across a weekend once#and it’s literally for nothing 🤣🤣🤣#I have a masters degree !! and 4 months of full time work experience and another several years worth of working part time#it’s not like I’m one of those grads who’s never worked a day in their life#and like i know no one can get a job these days. like barely any of my friends have anything#but money is beginning to become a little terrifying. so shelving the corporate applications and time to go back to being a barista again#not that I’m even guaranteed getting a job in that.#just spent a week living with a friend in Boston who IS employed straight out of undergrad for a rly cool nonprofit#literallt living my dream yknow what that rly challenged my ability to just be happy for my friends#I just don’t know how I keep on going like this tbh
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Oh look, another art piece-
He a little confused, but he got the spirit
WOO! After getting confirmation on details about the character, I finally allowed myself to draw this! It was originally going to be a mini comic, but I just decided to draw the last panel with a lot more detail.
Blue belongs to @creatively-cosmic. They have an Ask Blog by the name of @themissingnumbers, so go check them out! Their content is great!
Aster belongs to me.
[Extras and whatnot below the cut!]
[Extra Bonus!:
If you actually looked under the cut, you get to be blessed with a little nugget of information about Aster!
Aster doesn’t know jack about sexuality or gender identity (don’t worry, he’s learning!) But what he does know are the colors! Aster can tell you what colors or flag represents which sexuality/gender—but he couldn’t actually tell you about them. He doesn’t know what each of them mean.
Lots of people in his life and around his home have little desk flags or wear pins with different gender identities or sexuality’s on them, so he knows that it isn’t a bad thing. He thinks all the colors are pretty and unique and should be supported and celebrated!]
[Also, for those curious, here’s the symbolism for each flower. I wasn’t the most confident in drawing some of them, but I did my best to pick good ones!:
Blue Morning Glory: Encouragement, Power, Enduring Love
Pink Roses: Appreciation, Recognition, Happiness
White Daffodil: Rebirth, Good Fortune, Resilience.]
#This took all of my energy for today lmao-#I’m so happy that i could draw this after the idea was chilling in my head for the better part of a month#I know we haven’t met him yet In Missing Numbers#but I had to#Plus he’s my second favorite#Had to make up for all the Fire fanart somehow haha#Please excuse any mistakes in the actual art I’m running on hopes and dreams over here-#My wrist hurts but I’ll be okay#The art is worth it! and so is Blue!#Also yes the art name is a pun#EDIT: went back and fixed some coloring mistakes everything should be good now :)#Aster is an ally#He will be your friend no matter who or what you are#Everyone is a potential friend to Aster!#(He just so happens to get along the best with any Blue variants he comes across-)#(What can he say—It’s programmed in him.)#[I just realized that I’ve unintentionally made Aster a way to interact with the main cast of Missing Numbers-]#[Whoops!]
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Because I got hooked on this and went to be at 3am after clutching my phone like a goblin all night, I’m sharing this with you guys.
It’s definitely triggering for some (bullying, abuse, thoughts of violence/killing, physical violence, suicidal thoughts, yandere male, gaslighting) but I just can’t stop thinking about this and kinda wanna write another fic with yandere Leon inspired by this 😭 😭
Anywho here’s the link 🤫 Siyun is my dream guy 😌
#lipglossanon#lipglossrambles#dreaming freedom#webtoon#lipglossrecs#i’m so tired#I’m running on three hours of sleep 😭#but it’s my own fault 😔#siyun was worth every second 🥰
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just finished chapter three of the damsel route .
#actually I’m grinning ear to ear I loved it#but image funny#Going post#Stp#stp narrator#stp princess#i think this route is just another framing of the moment of clarity#where the narrator is forced to recognize what exactly his ‘happily ever after’ IS and how it feels#only this time it’s more directly stated as ‘what you’re supposed to be happy with’#and this time the horror of it is softened somewhat by being delivered in metaphor.#the best meal of your life becomes dull and dull and yet more dull merely because of repetition.#a delightful game played with someone you love ultimately grows stale. existential boredom creeps into your skull like mold#no matter what you do.#you can’t even sit in silence and be happy. there is no world where an absence of change leads to joy.#‘Oh no’ the narrator says. Because he understands now.#and it hurts less than the moment of clarity but only enough for him to not totally shut down.#enough for him to say ‘I’ve seen my fairy-tail ending. I think there might be worse things than the end of the world’ - admitting#his dream was foolish. Naive.#and only enough for him to give us the closest thing to an apology we’ve ever received from him:#‘I hope this was worth it. Genuinely I do.’#and he just sounds so sad and I’m going to cry every day for him
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:D
#IM HAVING THE BEST TIME#I LOVE BEING PERCEIVED AS A GIRLFRIEND#AND OPERATING AS ONE#THIS IS MY DREAM JOB#JUST GIMME THE LABELLLLL (waiting on his moms test results obvs) SO I CAB START SAYIN IT!#but like :-)#i have myself a lil boyfrand#wow it only took us FORFUCKINGEVER to get here but i’m here to say it’s worth it#i’m just rly rly happy#my brain is a lil ballerina doing a joyous dance rn#and he snaked my shower drain!!!!!! YIPPEEE!!!!
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😇
#I’m a taaaaaaaaad crossfaded#and would love love love to snuggle a cutie#just want their hands to uncontrollably roam my body#I want them to moan into my ear and tell me how cute and hot and sexy I am#and then I wanna fall asleep in their arms#ughhhhhhhhhxjansjsnjsnxnxksnakdn#when is it my turn to be happy#ever since that dream last night I have been CRAVING love#not just any lov e#but the love that makes life worth it#the love where it surrounds you like a blanket and keeps you warm on the hard days#sigh#I’m so so so so so cool#shut up rosie
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Idk what put you back in your Sandman era but gotta tell u I am living for it. Your taste in posts is impeccable lmao
Baby I am at all times one post away from doing a deep dive on someone’s Sandman tag and rapid fire reblogging 80% of it.
#sandman#the sandman#dream of the endless is my personal babygirl#my grumpy cat of an anthropomorphized concept#my embodiment of fathomless emotion and blind self-assurance#some people dislike him for his bad decision making and rip to them but I’m different#i love him in all his self-sabotaging repression#i have. TOO many dreamling fics open on my phone right now.#i do NOT want to talk about the number of tabs i maintain.#I DO want to talk about hob making friends with a nice woman at the local library and really vibing with her obvious Supernatural Energy(TM)#leading to her showing up at the new inn on his invitation and profoundly alarming dream when he shows up to bother hob#(calliope for her part is having an extremely normal one)#(look sometimes when you’re a muse looking to be reminded of why humanity is Worth It you go kick it in a library)#(hob is not a writer but he does kind of fascinate her and there’s no one better for reminding an immortal that life is worth living)#asked and answered#friidayschild#a queue we will keep and our honor someday avenge
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I decided to try designing a Metadede child and a Taransusie child, this is Meta Knight and Dedede’s daughter Cintia and Taranza and Susie’s daughter Clover. Before anyone asks how they exist, my lore for them is that both of them are clones, but instead of being cloned from one person they’re cloned from a combination of two people. I have more backstory about them and explanations for their names under the cut.
I wanted to give Cintia a moon-themed name (because of the moon theme in the final battle against Meta Knight and Dedede in Kirby Fighters 2), and I also wanted her to have a Spanish name because of Meta Knight’s accent in the anime. However, I didn’t want to call her Luna since she’s a princess and I didn’t want anyone to confuse her with the My Little Pony character Princess Luna. Cintia is the Spanish version of Cynthia, which means moon/is related to the moon goddess Artemis, so I called her that instead of Luna. The little gold and black design on her crown is supposed to be a crescent moon to further convey the moon theme. I feel like Meta Knight would call her by her full name most of the time but he might call her “mija” (“my daughter” in Spanish) or “pingüinita” (“little penguin” in Spanish) as a little affectionate nickname lmao, Dedede and most of the other characters would just call her Cindee.
For Clover, I wanted to give her a floral/plant themed name since she’s the princess of Floralia (in my AU of things Taranza becomes the king of Floralia after the events of Triple Deluxe, so that makes Clover a princess). Four leaf clovers are also symbols of good luck, and each leaf of a four leaf clover represents luck, faith, hope, and love, so I thought that it would be a nice meaningful name for her. Her full name is Clover Maxine Haltmann, she has Susie’s last name since Taranza doesn’t have one and her middle name is Maxine in honor of her grandfather Max.
Clover is the first one to be cloned, when Taranza and Susie are engaged and are preparing for their wedding. They go visit another planet to establish diplomatic relations between Floralia and the aliens on that planet, and after they mention that they’re getting married soon the aliens ask them if they’re planning to have kids. Taranza and Susie explain that they can’t have kids the usual way since they’re different species and that wouldn’t work, but the aliens are experts at cloning and have technology that allows them to clone children for couples who are different species. The aliens clone Clover as a wedding gift for Taranza and Susie, not realizing that the two of them saying that they couldn’t have kids didn’t necessarily mean that they wanted to have kids lmao… it all works out though, Taranza and Susie didn’t expect to get Clover but they’re still happy to have her and they return to Popstar with her. After seeing Clover, Dedede and Meta Knight decide that they want to have a kid, so they go visit the aliens and ask them to clone one for them, and that’s where Cindee comes from. I drew Cindee and Clover as little kids here so I could give them some outfits and convey their personalities a bit, but I’ll have to draw them again as babies.
#Kirby#Kirby fanart#my art#my OCs#Metadede#Taransusie#I hope that they look more cute than cursed lmao I tried my best to make them not look cursed#I thought that I’d give Meta and Dedede a daughter since all the Metadede fan kids I’ve seen have been sons#and I’ve never seen anyone make a Taransusie kid so I thought I’d give it a try#I tried to make both of them look like even mixes of their parents but I think that was easier to do with Clover than with Cindee#I think Cindee looks too much like Dedede lmao she’s basically just a Dedede recolor with bat wings#I’ll have to draw more of them in the future but I really need to stop getting distracted from drawing Knightfall in Dream Land lmao#sorry it’s taking me a while to finish the next page I’m working on it and it’ll be worth the wait
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sorry i haven’t been posting much i had a weird dream last night
#hey what does it mean if it’s a dream about visiting a guy you’re friends with but don’t find attractive at all#but in the dream he is very attractive but he has a girlfriend and you’re SUPER jealous#……………………………………………………….#haha it’s probably nothing#mobile#x#in reality i’ve not been posting much bc i’m in a phase where nothing i think is worth posting#in my braindead era
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My hand slipped and then suddenly I drew Dream SMP (technically also osmp) fanart after not having done for literal years. Diluc’s there too
#I can draw on paper too 😎#Can’t have same face syndrome when you’re severely inconsistent#Still annoyed at my shitty immune system being shitty but it’s okay. I learned a lot of information so I’d say it’s worth it#also today I broke the 2 chapter curse in my ao3 and posted chapter 3 of Collision…. 6 months late#what can I say I’m inconsistent#moss does traditional art 🖌#Dream smp fanart#Tommyinnit#Osmp Niki#Philza#Tubbo#My art#Dream smp#dsmp#c!Tommy#c!Philza#c!Tubbo#c!Nikki#O!Nikki#dsmp fanart#Philza fanart#Nihachu#Nihachu fanart
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*2015 voice* i wish i had the chillness instead i got the mental illness
#evidence of life#tw for mental illnesses major distress illness symptoms that aren’t romanticized (lawl) suicide ableism i guess?#idk just a massive tw for what i’ve said in the notes / don’t read if descriptions of mental illnesses bother you etc#////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#i literally had to mix rubbing alcohol into my body wash then put it all over my body except my hair to stop myself from committing suicide#i’m so serious if there’s one thing i don’t say with my convoluted levels irony it’s suicide whenever i say kms im 100% serious#suicide is literally a constant ideation for me and i just can’t teehee about it ever i think it’s because it is one of the few ways i feel#that i can take total control full autonomy#anyways isn’t crazy traumatic things will happen and we have to just keep going like im literally on tumblr after [redacted]…#also why is my psychosis so obsessed with break ins these days when i was doing my rubbing alcohol scrub it did the break in scenario#like miss girl literally nobody want us that bad take a seat…#anyways this day started out okayish and now it’s literally *burning building in the background*#i wanna try to at least make it possibly kind of better by going to watch the sunset but no promises kinda itching for more rubbing alcohol#anyways slayyyy respectfully i hope this scares off…who it usually does…#like bro i am not a manic pixie dream girl i am not a smol bean with anxiety not a depressed gloomy muse etc#i am [as described by men who thought that i was just another goth bitch with daddy issues that knew all the right moves to make me into#whatever they needed me to be and or thought i was being hyperbolic when i say i am insane in the head and the pussy (as above so below)]#‘crazy crazy’ ‘fucked up’ ‘not worth it [because i am crazy for real]’ ‘[in need for a dude who one course in psychology and thinks that and#his dick are enough to ‘cure me’ ‘weird’ ‘freak’ ‘looney’ (kinda love that one like so true) etc (bc i don’t want to talk abt this anymore)#edit: my temporary icon bothering more than it should rn ughhh bad end all around goodness
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