#I applied to 25 jobs in the last month while working full time . like I am so exhausted

[6ebe]

Applying for 50 jobs within 12 months and not getting a single offer is almost an accomplishment woah I’m so talented x

[vibratingskull]

Hello! I was thinking you said you didn't master Thrass yet how about you start "small" with him not been exactly the main character?

How about a F!reader she was in relationship with Thrass and by the time he died she is pregnant and she leaves to the empire.

Thrawn finds her in his exile. You could focus more on her relationship with Thrawn if it's easier.(?)

Obviously, this is just a suggestion not a request. You can totally ignore this if you like.

Art by @jorrmund

Thrawn and in laws... That sounds interesting

Thrawn & Chiss!F!reader

Tags : Hurt and little comfort

You apply the final touches with your brushes on your blue skin, finishing to perfect your traditional make up for the day. You check your coiffure one last time and rise on your feet to enter the salon and take your place. 

You’re alone at the tea house today, your two apprentices have their day off but that’s not a problem for you. Your first family was in the tea business for generation and educated you in its ways. You later trained your husband at this art when you entered the Mitth for your wedding. 

Now that you are in the human Empire, this traditionnal Chiss tea house that you built for yourself is the last bound you have to your former life. When Mitth’raw’nuruodo came back from his mission, distraught, his first action was to come to you and warn you about Thrass disapearance. Without thinking twice you prepared a bag and with Thrawn complicity you stealed a ship to fly after Thrass while pregnant.  

You were not letting your husband disappear when you had a baby on the way! 

You searched for him for a months, visiting numerous planets, meeting nuemrous species. 

To no avail. 

At some point you got lost in the chaos and end up in lesser space, the term was really close and you needed an hospital or a maternity to give birth to your baby safely. You had to give birth alone, without any familiar faces and surrounded by aliens. 

A chance there was a near-Chiss species, humans, who helped you in this trial. But traveling with a week old baby without any concrete destination and on unsafe routes was simply impossible and you had to stop. The danger was simply too great.  

So you worked different jobs to make ends meet, hiding your skin color or your shiny red eyes, you traveled across this city planet called Coruscant, changing apartments, sometimes running away from creditors and hiding somewhere  until things settles down. You saw the end of the Republic and lived through the first days of the Empire, keeping a low profile... 

Things could have gotten a lot worse if you didn’t hold on to your principles and bared your teeth to adversity. But you managed to gain some money, bought that building for next to nothing, renovating it yourself into a proper establishement worthy of Chiss standards, and now you have two trainees to train. They are nice girls, diligent and hard working with the will to do great and by the rules but they are still far from the Chiss excellence in the ways of the tea. 

You check your questi... datapad to know your shedules of the day. Lately you have more than 25 clients per day. It forces you to rush some aspects of the ceremony but it is still manageable. 

... 

Only one client? 

Weird. 

Your apprentice who took the reservation left a note. 

“Navy Officer who specifically requested the entire day to himself.” 

You sigh, annoyed. You are a tea house, not a pleasure house. You don’t stay an entire day here! What was she thinking when she took the reservation? You cannot permit yourself to dedicate a full day to a single client! 

A Navy Officer no less.  

You sniff with disdain. Another one of those men who thinks because he has money and rank everything is due to him! 

But what’s done is done now. You’ll conduct the ceremony as always and push him to the door and took the rest of the day to yourself. You will be able to come back home earlier and spend some time with your son. 

You lay down the pad and aligns all your ustensils on the clothe on the floor, seating heels on the little mattress dedicated to this effect. That’s when you hear the door of the salon open and steps entering the room. 

At least this Grand Admiral respects the schedule. 

You also notes he had the presence of mind to take off his shoes to walk on the tatami. Not all clients knows that. You begrugingly give him another point as you lay down the last utensil and turns towards your client, eyes closed as you bow down to him respectfully. 

“Welcome to the Primordial Tea house.” 

“I thank you Mitth’(Y/n)’(F/n).” 

You froze, opening your eyes in a shock. 

Before you, impeccably seated on his heels, raising from his bow and in a perfectly neat green uniform, stands another chiss. 

And not any Chiss! 

“Mitth’raw’ nuruodo...” You say with a white voice, barely audible. 

His expression is serene and aloof, but his gleaming red eyes shine with tenderness and a controlled joy. You are utterly speechless. Why is he here? What is he doing in this parts of the Galaxy? Why... 

“I rejoice seeing you thriving in this Empire, my sister.” He finally says before your resonnating silence, “You must have a lot of questions.” 

You look at him up and down, not believing your sight. 

But that’s him! Older by a decade but it is unmistikably him! Your husband’s little brother! 

Your own little brother now. 

“I... How?” You utter. 

“I was sent in a mission by the Ascendancy to find new allies and study this Empire.” 

You look at him with round eyes, feeling your hands starting to tremble on your knees. 

“I was terrified for you when you stopped sending me news years ago, but I heard rumors about a woman with blue skin and red eyes in this part of Coruscant. I had to verify it for myself.” He continues before your disarray, “I hoped with all my heart it was you, and I was not mistaken.” 

“Mitth... raw...” 

“Call me Thrawn, my sister. As you used to do back in the day.” 

“Thrawn...” You breath, heart clenching painfully, “Did you get any news? Anything?” 

His shoulders lower and he shakes his head slightly. 

“No. Nothing.”  

Your heart starts to bleed and a sob rises in your throat. 

“He will never come back...” You manage to say with a shaky voice, a tear rolling on your cheek. 

“I am affraid.” He concedes gravely. “Hope gets thiner by each passing day.” 

And you burst out in tears. You hide your face behind your hands, sobbing as you are forced to face your most horrifying fear. Thrawn remains silent, repectful of your pain. He lets you cry with compassion in his eyes. 

“I am truly sorry (Y/n).” He murmures. 

“Oh my warrior... What will I say to Thabim?” Your entire body shakes between sobs. 

Thrawn tilts his head. 

“Thabim?” 

You sniff unelegantly, going against the reserve and modesty of your role as a tea master, but frankly you don’t care at that moment. 

“Thrass’ son... Our child...” You gasp, trying to breath. 

Thrawn’s eyes round up slightly, clearly taken by surprise. 

“You had a child?” 

You nod as tears fall down from your cheeks to your folded legs, soiling your precious traditional attire for tea ceremony. 

“We didn’t want to announce it to the family just yet... It was supposed to be a surprise...” You pull on your collar to open your attire and take out a medallion that you open, revealing an old picture of you and Thrass together. 

Smiling. 

Carefree. 

Simply happy to be together. 

You still remember vividly the day you announced your pregnancy to your dear Ch’acah. Thrass was checking files on his questis when you agitated the test under his gaze. Surprised, he threw his head backward, hitting the back of his skull against the bedrame. You chuckled as he massaged his painfull head, turning his gaze to you, wondering what you wanted to tell him. You showed him the test again with a big smile and saw the shimmer of his red gaze intensify by ten fold. He jumped out of the bed, seized your hips and made you spin in the air, laughing loudly, before embracing you, pulling you into a deep kiss, happy and hopefull. 

Now he is lost... 

You press the medallion against your heart, forgetting Thrawn’s presence because of the pain. Thrass hide the same pendant under his sydyc tunic. You fold your body in two in a soothing gesture. You feel Thrawn’s hand seize your shoulder gently, squeezing it softly. 

“I am sorry (Y/n).” He repeats  

“It is so painful...” You cry. “It feels like I’m hoing to die!” 

“Yes.” He agrees, “It is the most terrible pain. But you are not alone anymore, I am with you now. I will help you and Thabim.” 

You raise you gaze to him, full of pain and pleadings. 

And you throw yourself in his arms, all etiquette be damned!  He frozes under your touch, taken by surprise once more. You squeeze him tight, burying your face in the crook of his neck, soiling his uniform with your tears. You feel him responding to your hug after an hesitation, caressing your back comfortingly and circling your shoulders. 

“I am here now, sister. And I will remain.” 

You hiss in your pain, breathing with difficulty with your lungs so tight. 

“Thank you brother... Thank you...” 

@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar@thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay @obbicrystaleo @germie2037

[smilestudy]

two bits of good news:

-i turned in my dissertation last night 🫡🫡🫡 i am so glad it's over and done with. i think i can pull off like a 72. as long as it's a first, I'll take it

-i received a job offer kinda. i was rejected for two jobs at the same organization but the team leader offered to bring me on board for sessional work. she said that i came really close but those that were selected had been doing sessional work beforehand and had that experience. she said if i do it for like six months and then apply for a full time position, there's a high chance i could get it.

it's so hard to get your first job so ii'm taking it as a win. i would really like the consistency/safety net of having a standard full time support worker role but it's still money in the bank. she said that she usually has lots of shifts available so it could be 20-25 hours a week? i hate that it means that I'll still be more reliant on my parents than i'd like to be but i have to just remember how lucky i am to have family that can still help me out while i figure things out in my early twenties.

[edgecumbetothepyramids]

Beautiful Sitka

The Pyramid mountains stand in relief at this time of night if it's not too cloudy. I can see them through my bedroom window as I sit here grading AP Lang essays. When we flew in tonight, I heard someone tell a fellow traveler not to worry, that we wouldn't be landing in the water even though it looks like it. The pilot flew around the runway and landed with Edgecumbe to the aft of the plane. In my middle seat I could see the water and sparsely clouded sky thanks to a courteous seat mate.

Getting on the plane in Seattle was an exciting venture as the plane was fully booked, and I was standby. After boarding, there was one seat left. The gate agent called, "Weiss, Weiss, if you're in the boarding area, please see me at the gate." No answer. Then he called another name which I can't remember. No answer. Then me! There were two men standing in front of me. When I jumped out of the seat I was sitting on the edge of, the gate agent said to the men, "Sorry, guys, that was the last seat!" I was so happy!

I learned Friday while travelling that I was staying at Sitka High. All week it had felt like a Survivor competition except with no way to make your chances better. You were chosen to leave or not leave based on what you had done previously. And previously, you didn't know your every move was being judged to determine your worth! My friend texted me to tell me who was being forced to move schools, and I was so thankful it wasn't me. Now, I have new challenges ahead in building a new curriculum and also applying to PhD school which I may not get in to, but I need to try.

I'm noticing as I grade that students are still not paying close enough attention to the prompt. That will get them in big trouble on the exam if they don't correct that now! Also, they are sometimes losing their line of reasoning. I like to call it leading the reader and staying focused on supporting their topic sentence and ultimately their thesis statement.

Tomorrow morning the three English teachers and I who are left will meet to discuss how to divide classes among us. 2.5 teachers for 270 students. Maybe 10-15 will be skills students, so that will bring it down a bit. At least 10 will go to UAS for dual-enrollment credits. I'll probably have 125 students plus a new class to teach. That's a lot for an English teacher which is another reason why I need to start back to school. I don't want my entire life to be grading high school freshmen papers.

We took Si to dinner. He seems good, but he says that he will leave his full ride if his coach leaves. I really hope he doesn't mean that. I know he hates being so far away from K, but he's getting a great education totally free! I was also surprised at how competitive he is. He doesn't want his track season to end, but he doesn't qualify for regions unless his coach lets him race as a wild card. Si thinks his coach will pick a senior to go. That doesn't make sense to me. Seniority should not matter in sports.

And that brings me back to the Survivor episode at my high school. I am the newbie to the English dept, and I survived the cut. Even though I sent frustrated texts to my boss last month which were meant for my husband (oops!), even though I have been accused of lying in a meeting (which I didn't), even though I have failed to unite the department (no one has for 20 years), even though I spend a lot of lunches doing work or being alone, even though I said (in my boss's hearing) that teachers need to stop working for free, even though I have been a bit upset all year about the retirement situation for myself and other Tier 3 teachers. And despite many more mistakes I have made in and out of my classroom, which goes to show that there's no way to know how to keep your job. But I'm "safe" for now.

But if I had the same retirement system as Casey, I would feel obligated to get my 25 years in, and the fact is, I don't and I don't. I can leave whenever I want. I just hope the other Tier 3 teachers have a trust fund waiting for them when they retire. I have a plan b.

Driving in Washington is always beautiful. You are often driving through corridors of trees. But it's not the same as being able to walk out your door and hike a mountain the way we can here, literally. I can't wait to get up Gavin again. Maybe tomorrow.

[carlacachu]

I lost my job. And it was okay.

I actually needed that job. However, in the weeks (or maybe months) leading to my termination, I was already feeling like quitting. I was ready to go. But my finances aren't ready to let it go just yet. What made me feel like leaving was the constant pressure I feel from my manager, the fear of actually losing it while feeling so unprepared (which I used to think is the end of the world), and my declining health.

For nearly two years, I feel exhausted, which is likely caused by my irregular sleeping patterns. This led to a series of conditions I never thought I'd be diagnosed with at the age of 30. But here we are: married, 31, childless, with non-alcoholic fatty liver, stage two hypertension, and polycystic ovaries (PCOS). I take 8-10 pills per day: 2 for my reproductive health, 2 for my hypertension, 3 for my liver, 2 necessary supplements, and 1 for my uric acid. It feels like a life support, these medications. On some days when I forget or neglect on taking these, I immediately feel the effects. It is paralyzing. It caused me to make this second job a great need. For without it, how will I buy my medicines when my main job barely covers my expenses?

Like mentioned, I used to have two jobs. My supposed main source of income is teaching full-time. In the afternoons until 12:00 MN, I worked as a virtual assistant. That's another 8 hours of work; so in total, I had 2 full-time jobs that helped me cover my expenses (both necessities and my not-so-luxurious luxuries).

Having more than I normally earned was a good thing. It felt like a crown I'd wear, the extra 5-inches of height I don't actually have, just to feel "equal" to my husband who doesn't really earn as much, but can be dominant (to domineering sometimes). But it did not help me in some of the areas which had to be afloat. It felt like my marriage was slowly turning into a housemate/roommate kind of situation. I barely kept in touch with my family until my brother moved to Canada because I am always looking at my screens (in both jobs), I was barely sociable. Overall, I am always in the spirit of chasing something -- time? energy? Because I just don't have both all the time.

Until my last shift, August 25. The shift ended in an unpromising note. When my manager expressed her disappointment, I actually thought I'd still be back on Monday. But when Saturday the next day rolled around and checked on my emails the next morning, I was a little surprised that I was terminated. It was unexpected and expected at the same time, knowing how I think culturally they can be dismissive. But I did not take it against her. While it was very sad to start my day with a terrible news, it did not feel as bad as I thought it would be. My world did not end like I thought.

When the next Monday rolled in, I felt a great deal of relief that I was no longer chasing time. That I can finally take time and do my job as thorough as I wished and wanted because this is now the only one I keep -- teaching. When Tuesday came, an unexpected email was received: the deadline I thought I missed in the graduate school I was applying for was extended until the 30th of September; I can now also send it through courier. I felt grateful. I thought it was good. And then another email: the VA company asked me to reapply. So another "good" news, I thought.

However, this time, I felt iffy about applying again as a VA. Like my heart did not really want to but since my finances reminded me I can't afford to just have one job, I had no choice. So I did: took the test, sent my video entry and unlike the first time I applied, this time I now have an actual VA experience.

What's odd, on the other hand, was on the next day, I received an email from the company saying I did not pass. Which is really weird, considering how so much has changed between the time I applied in December of 2021 and now. It's not like my brain declined in function that I cannot actually pass the test. It's just impossible.

But it was when it finally dawned on me: the vision/plan is clear. I am not for that anymore. I am no longer for anything unrelated to the career I went to college for. A redirection. But I do not owe it to the "universe" or "forces of nature" or the "stars" or the "planets in retrograde" or whatever. I owe it all to God.

Since then, everyday felt even better. My work as a teacher is still exhausting as hell; my finances are still in shambles as of writing, but unlike before, I don't feel worried. As if my heart found peace that it is so calm while receiving payment reminders from the bank, my postpaid, our house utilities, and now, the fridge close to running empty.

And as if in perfect timing, my husband scored a series of projects we both had no idea he would. God indeed works in ways that will surprise you.

In the marriage I used to think was loveless, my husband, who barely lifted a finger in our first two years of marriage, now packs my lunch everyday with snacks and other good stuff. He wakes me up gently and patiently as if I'm a princess.

A lot of good things came out of my termination. And I cannot be grateful enough. I owe God the peace I have in my heart, the love I feel from my husband, the time I now enjoy, the lifestyle I now keep and the lessons learned from the experience.

I may have lost my job to a point of feeling stuck at my own needs, but the direction I am now heading is clearer than ever. To God be the glory forever.

[fuck-customers]

11/21: long post sorry in advance

I really want to vent about my recent experience I had at a job and why I quit. And why when this happens to you don't feel bad to walk off the job:://

I was Hired about three months ago (if u want to include the month I was hired) at a smaller mini store version of walkafloka and DeeGees. At first it was a great store and I loved absolutely LOVED the staff I worked with, and I was in the middle of a court case battle and had to leave frequently out of state for said court stuff. And recently returned from a two week trial (I won btw).

Neeldess to say I was looking forward to coming back and be able to focus on work and make some hours and make dough. Cool simple story right?. Hah wrong. The two weeks following upon returning back went to complete shit and I ended up quitting.

First off I wanna say for context that my boss had a family emergency the week I was supposed to leave for court and from what I was told before any details were shared. It wasn't good. So I left and worried hoping she was okay. Upon coming back one of my other bosses I was working with had given me details about what happened to Boss 1. I will not share details because even tho I am absolutely disappointed in her right now I will not go into detail. But my heart really goes out to her and hope things get better.

But following the next week the first shift I'd gotten with Boss 1 wasn't real pleasant. She gave me cold shoulder and wasn't speaking to me at all. Lil awkward but whatevs. Then she began talking down to me like im lesser than dog shit and like I was R word or incompetent. Always going like "read your tasks (Name) go read your tasks" when I'd ask her a question. Really rude.

Then today. Was the nail in the coffin for me.

I was paying out a couple ladies and they asked how much Xmas decor they had was. I said $3 they, justifiably confused was like "aren't they supposed to be 25% off? There's a sign". So they brought me too it I'm looking it over and it said that trees , skirts decor and boxed decor was 25% off. So me a little confused tried to ask Boss 1 if this sale applies to the item they wanted. Mind u this is a customer Question. What does she do?...

Briskly walks up to the sign and is like "read the sign (name) read the sign (name) it's says right here trees skirts and decor is 25% off" im like looking at her shocked because??? I know???? That's what the sign says???? I'm asking about the item they want in particular???? She goes full attitude talking down to me like "it's right there (name) read it. Any items UNDER THE SIGN IS 25% OFF." then she just. Walks away.

I walked away eyes full of tears and the customers APOLOGIZED!! They had no reason to apologize they had every right to ask a fkn question. As did I.

After that happened the last incident pushed me over the edge.

My task said to put up PDQs on gift set shelf. There was dove men women and a display case of tooth paste by the razors where the task she wrote out said they'd be. So I opened one box and it was toothpaste

Look over at shelves and seen three open spots. Figured one of em was for toothpaste display case.

So started on that. while I was getting it set up on the shelf Boss 1 stops me and is like "go read your tasks " so I'm pissed off at this point because that's all she's been saying to me the past week so I walk over behind counter grab the paper with my tasks written on it and take it over to show her. I read it aloud and said that the toothpaste was with the other PDQs so naturally I'm gonna work it. She read the bloody thing outloud to me. As if I hadn't read it three times by then talking down to me and even begun yelling at me. I calmy as I could told her to please not yell at me and she popped off with the "I'm so tired of you doing whatever you want to do. " I went "I was never just 'doing whatever' I wanted to too Boss 1 I am just trying to ask you questions about my job/trying to do MY job." I had enough. The rest was white noise she's yelling at me and finally. I raised my hands and went "I quit" .

She told me I needed to count my till. Had the audacity to say to me to count it right 🙄. Then grabbed my stuff from break room and right as I was about to wall out thr doors she's like "you forgot to clock out." I went I don't care I fucking quit. Your management, your behaviour and moods reflects all of us other staff members u had the audacity to tell us a few days ago to be the team u know we are and here u are being hella disrespectful getting mad at me for ASKING BLOODY QUESTIONS about work and talk down to me like I'm incompetent and less then dog shit?... I'm gonna tell you what I've been told by past jobs. 1. Keep your personal problems at the door and keep it professional for work environment. And 2. If u have a question. Don't be afraid to ask.

Your a boss. Act like it.

Don't ever fucking let anyone in the work place treat you this way. Were all human but when someone pushes that boundary and pusges u past THAT limit. It's a damn issue and is and will no longer be accepted by me.

This all happened within the two weeks I've been back. Whole ass expected me to just "know" ins and outs of every part of the store even though I've been focused on court stuff. ++Trigger warning it was an R case!!!!++ so mentally emotionally I was preparing for trial. Was I taking my personal crap out on Boss 1 and other Co workers?...

Absolutely not. It isn't acceptable for a boss to act that way. And happy to say during that incident customers did walk out the store and one of them was like "does she really talk to her associates this way? I'm not shopping here anymore. "

Don't let anyone treat u this way.

[doodleimprovement]

CSAU :: Moonie Jericho and the Mysterious Case of the Moon-Jumper Mask - Alternate Ending

Or: “The extremely self indulgent 7 page fic were Nell gets to be more helpful and has some actual characterization” 

Yeahhhh this isn’t canon to the fic, but I wanted to write it because I can, at LAST give ya’ll Nell’s backstory for how they came to live in Subcon in the CSAU

Per usual, the “Coffee Shop AU” belongs to the ever wonderful @doodledrawsthings

Also, note: Both MJ and Nell use “they/them” pronouns, with MJ being “He/They” and Nell being “She/They” To keep things from getting too confusing, Nell will be “They” and MJ will be “He” 

Enjoy! 

--

Nell was honestly a bit surprised when MJ came to their home the morning after Halloween, sheepishly stating that the mask seemed ... stuck.

“Really?”

He nodded.

“Huh.. Come on in then. I’ll get some tea going and see about helping you out, hm?”

He walked into their house, taking a moment to actually look about the place- as he didn’t get much of a chance before- and took a seat in their small living room.

The ambiance of the outside followed inside, with the walls painted chestnut brown with warm yet bright pops of color on the windowsill and the various picture frames full of people he didn’t know. The curtain over the wide window was patterned with little pumpkins, which he found cute, and hanging from a few ceiling hooks were what Clover would call “Low-maintenance” plants. The dark colors match well with the room, making it feel a bit comfier than it otherwise might.

The couch he sat on was across from an armchair, and both were colored a warm orange, with an espresso-colored coffee table. On said table were some envelopes and a copy of “Better Homes and Gardens”

Huh, he didn’t peg them as a reader of those types of magazines. Then again, Clover was the one that knew Nell, not him.

They came back with two mugs - one was purple with the “Snatcher” face on it, and the other had a little grumpy ghost on it, with “I’m spooky before my coffee” written above the drawing.

They handed him the Snatcher mug

“Can I ask where you get all of this Snatcher merch?”

“My best friend is an Etsy fiend. Despite him living all the way in Nyakoto, he ships me Snatcher merch whenever he finds something fun. He’s a real character” they chuckled.

“Huh” MJ acknowledged as Nell walked around the coffee table and sat next to him

“Do you feel the mask?”

He nodded, his hand up at the edge, right where he felt it “When I pull, it just… doesn’t move”

“Hm..” they sipped. “When you try to take it off, how does it feel?”

“Like… it’s like a thousand little… things? Pulling at my face, I think?” MJ pulled up their mug and sipped the tea.

“Like… string? Thread?”

MJ nodded. “I think that's the right word, thread”

Nell puts down the mug as MJ takes another sip. “Let me see” they scooted closer to him, and he put his mug down and turned his head.

Their hands seemed to glow green as they raised it “There we go…” They muttered, hand immediately finding the mask’s edge, and seeing what he was talking about “... Huh, the threads… well, that's the right word. They’re… criss-crossed…”

Before he could ask if they could remove them, he felt a slight burning at the edge of his face and jumped

“Ah!”

“Sorry, sorry, but, that did work… Though, it means you might be here a while” they admit “I’ll need you to stay still, okay?”

“Oh.. okay”

It was... Not Okay.

A few minutes into Nell’s attempt at getting the mask off, they let out a huff.

“You can’t keep squirming”

“I- I’m sorry” He muttered “It's just, you know, hard to stay still”

“I understand that, but I don’t want to mess this up. I’d like to see your actual eyes” They muttered.

“I know, it just.. Weird feeling” He tried to explain.

“Moon” They pressed, but sighed “... You seem still enough when I’m talking to you, need a distraction?”

“I mean, I guess…?”

Nell sighed “Hm… How about I tell you how I came to live in Subcon? That’s a long-ass story”

“Oh uh, if you’re okay with sharing!” MJ tried to be polite. He knew that even Clover wasn’t completely sure why Nell came to live in the town, she just knew that “something happened” back at the coast where they were from.

“Nah. It’s been 5 years. That’s more than long enough” The nurse stayed focused on the magic threads, their magic seeming to thrum in his ears- sounding almost like the hum of a fan in the dead heat of summer..

There was a pause, before they took in a breath.

“When I was 19, I took a job in Nyakoto, and left my hometown as fast as the train could take me. I had a scholarship to a little nursing school there, and before my 21st birthday, I’d gotten a nice, decent paying job as an ER nurse for a hospital in the East Side” They started “The hospitals were all interconnected, so I ended up meeting different doctors and nurses while I worked, and sometimes was called to assist in other hospitals.

“I was.. 25, when I met him” They recalled, something in their voice seeming heavy. “We’ll call him Chris

“He was in residency at a hospital down in the Wesservale neighborhood. We met at a medical appreciation gala… He had something about him I couldn't place. . . A charisma, almost. A kindness. He seemed so eager for the future, so excited for what the next day might bring him. I’d never been like that. His optimism drew me in.

“We started dating the year after. Like with most relationships, everything seemed great. He was funny, kind, thoughtful, all of that stuff. He even went with me to pride stuff, which was pretty cool at the time.”

“Pride?” MJ chimed in. Nell couldn’t hide a chuckle.

“Yes. You’ve heard of the Nyakoto Annual Pride Bonanza, haven’t you? One of the biggest in the country”

“I have, yes”

“Good. Back to the story” Nell redirected “When I was 27, about a year and a half into the relationship, I realized, quite unhappily, that we weren’t actually very different, and didn’t really get along as well as we thought.. It's not that we argued, but.. We didn’t really… talk. I never spoke to him about my problems, I didn’t feel like I could, and that really made me realize that we weren’t actually all that comfortable around each other. So, when he came over to my place that night for dinner, I spoke to him, and tried to tell him that we weren’t compatible, and that I thought perhaps we’d be better off as friends.

“He convinced me that we just needed work, going on and on about all these plans he had for us. Trips, dates, things to look forward to, always looking toward the future, Chris did”

Nell paused again

“.. I really should have noticed how little he cared about happiness in the present.” They commented “Not a traditional red flag, but it was a warning nonetheless”

“Well, I mean, that’s not so bad”

“In a way, no” Nell replied “But when you think about the future so much, you forget the present, you forget to live, and your past just.. Ends up a horrible haze. Even the happy stuff is hard to recall”

MJ hadn’t thought of it like that

“But hindsight is 2020, and in the moment, I believed him. I wanted to believe those bright dreams of the future, and I let go of the fact that I did not even like to talk to him very much.

“... I tried to break up with him 4 more times in the 8 years we were together.”

Okay, MJ hadn’t been expecting that much time passing.

“By the time I was 34, we were living together, but barely seeing each other. From the outside it must have seemed perfect to everyone else. I think only Daph knew about my.. Issues, with Chris. I still never talked to him about anything that wasn’t the future, or how the day was, or.. Just, absolute nonsense.

“One night, after one more attempt to break up, I’d gone to bed defeated, and woke up at 3 in the morning while he was on the night shift in Wesservale.. I came to this… realization

“If I didn’t leave right then and there, I’d marry him…. and I’d …. I’d be stuck. He’d have me, and I’d be stuck for the rest of my life..

“So I grabbed everything I had in the apartment, sent a resignation email to the East side hospital I still worked at, left him a note telling him I was leaving, took my car and just… started driving”

“.. Did he call you?”

“I blocked his number.” They answered curtly. “Drove for days until I came across Subcon.”

MJ didn’t comment.

“I stayed at the Alpine Motel for a few nights, and when I was at the diner, overheard that there was an open position for the school nurse at the elementary” They continued. “I applied for it, and 3 months later cashed in my savings to put a down payment on this little place” They made a motion with their hand briefly “The rest is history”

“Well… If it's any consolation, I think that's a good reason to get out of the city”

Nell couldn’t hold back a laugh. There was something a little… sad, in it, but the laugh was genuine.

“Yeah, then again, every reason is a good one to get out of the city” They commented, and MJ had only just realized that their hands were now on the other side of his face. Nell worked quickly, it seemed. “Hm.. okay. On the count of three, I'm going to try to take it off, alright?”

“Oh, uh, wow, okay!” He replied eagerly, closing his eyes.

“One…” They slowly started, both hands on either side, their nails right at the edge of the mask.

“Three!”

MJ startled as Nell pulled, and a cold, sharp feeling spread over his body before it abruptly ended. When he opened his eyes. He looked at Nell, who had, in their hands, that damned mask.

His hands went up to his face, and he let out a relieved laugh as he felt his skin, glasses and hair “hah! Hahah! I’m human again! No more magic!” He raised his hands and leaned back on the couch “Sweet relief”

Nell let out a chuckle, putting the mask down gently “Finish your tea, I’m gonna grab you a damp towel. You have… paint? On your face”

His brow was furrowed, but he reached for the still-warm mug anyway as Nell got up and went down a short hallway.

He took the few moments that Nell was done to think over the story he’d been told, the exhaustion in the nurse’s voice as she told it. Was he really the first one to learn? It gave him a weird feeling right in his chest.

When Nell returned, she offered a small, damp towel… that had the “Snatcher” smile on it

“... How many of these do you have?” He almost laughed again, and they just answered with an amused smile and grabbed their own coffee cup.

MJ cleaned his face, seeing a candy-red color coming off on the purple towel. “Hm..”

“What?”

“Well uh, the color looks like the magic strings I was able to summon”

Nell Blinked “... Well uh, bring that up with Tim when he’s back in town. That’s a little out of my wheelhouse”

“Noted”

The two fell into silence, sipping their warm drinks and giving them some time to unwind

“Will you need a ride home?” they asked him, putting their mug down.

He hadn’t actually thought of that.

“Oh, uh, it’s fine”

They raised an eyebrow at him

“You live 20 minutes away and Luka isn’t here to … fly you home, per se” They laid out “I’ve got a car, I’ll drive you home”

He turned a little red to the ears “Oh.. Thank you”

“No problem, Moon” They smiled back at him. “I’m going to change real quick, then we’ll leave”

And with that, they left back into the short hallway, to what Moon assumed was their bedroom.

Nell returned a few minutes later, dressed in a loose blouse and skirt that went down to their ankles, a far cry from the tank top and sweatpants that he’d seen them in before. He supposed that it was more so not wanting to go out in Pajamas than anything else. She picked up the mask, wrapping it in a handkerchief before holding it out to him

“It’s chosen you. You have to keep it”

He just nodded, and gingerly took the troublesome thing into his hands.

The two got in their truck (Nell owned a truck??) and drove into town.

MJ took in a breath as they turned onto a main street, passing The Horizon. “So uh, Nell..”

“Hm?”

“About your uh, the story you told me.. I won’t tell anyone”

“I don’t mind if you do” they answered, eyes on the road

“What, really?”

“Like I said before. Five years feels long enough”

MJ’s brow furrowed “I’m still not going to say anything.. That’s a personal story. It’s not mine to tell”

Nell glanced over at him with an unreadable expression, before moving to turn on the radio. Lo-fi started, and it seemed they were right in the middle of a Billie Eilish song.

“.. Thank you” They ended up responding as the song picked up

”I know supposedly I'm lonely now.

Know I’m supposed to be unhappy without someone.

But aren’t I someone?” 

MJ didn’t say much of anything else once until they got to his apartment building

“Thank you, Nell. For everything”

“Don’t mention it” They gave him a small, but sincere smile “Get some rest, hm? The bags under your eyes are aging you”

MJ just laughed “I will. Don’t be a stranger, Mx. Buonacci”

The nurse gave him a lazy salute with a soft smile, before the window rolled up, and they drove off

Exhaling, he looked down at the covered mask, wrapped in a…. Snatcher-patterned handkerchief.

He couldn’t help but laugh.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: The Treasure of the Lost Lamp Movie Reviewcap! (Patreon Stretch Goal)

Hello all you happy people! And we have a special review today for two reasons. The first is that this is my second patreon stretch goal review, having hit the 15 dollar goal back in march thanks to my wonderful friend Emma, the same patreon whose responsible for the Green Eggs and Ham Reviews,  who helped me hit the 15 dollar goal.  As a result you fine people are getting three movie reviews each based on a Disney Afternoon Movie with Treasure of the Lost Lamp today, a goofy movie at the end of the motnh for  a weeklong tribute to my favorite dogmandadguy.  Extremley was going to be part of it but the length of this review convinced me otherwise, but I will be doing it this summer so keep an ear out. If you want to help me hit my next stretch goals do yourselve a favor and zip on over to my patreon YOU CAN FIND MY PATREON HERE. My next stretch goal at “OH Look 20 Dollars” would give everyone patreon and not, a monthly review of Darkwing Duck as decided by my patrons, reviews of BOTH season 2 mini series from Ducktales 87, introducing Fenton to the world and blighting it with Bubba before the 2017 series fixed him, and as a brucey bonus added last month a review of Danny Phantom the Ultimate Enemy. And if that wasn’t enough if you help me get to the goal after that at 25 unlocks another trilogy of disney film reviews, this time for the proud family and recess movie and the best kim possible movie, and dcom period, so the drama as well as Bryan Lee O’ Malley’s two stand alone graphic novels, lost at sea and seconds for you Scottaholics in the audience.

The other reason now the shilling’s done. is that the plan WAS to review this back to back with Treasure of The Found Lamp, to the point the orginal review had a whole thing about that, why it was delayed etc... but now that review’s been scrapped all together as something sudden and wonderful happened. After just kinda giving up someone came through with a translation of Della’s first apperance so presumibly i’ll be doing that as part of the build up to mother’s day, and since I still want ot do maternal instincts too, and already had to let the Floyd Gottfredson birthday special slide away as well... it had to go as I want to leave the only open space on the schedule for the lovely person who found the story for me. But this review is still done, i’m very proud of it so join me under the cut won’t you?

Behind The Scenes: Before I get into it i’d just like to note this article from SyFy Wire. It , along with articles I found via wikipedia citations, was an invaluable resource. 

The film was an experiment: It was an experiment to see if one of their tv properties could bring in theatrical money, to see if a movie made on a cheaper budget and still rake in decent money, to see if a film could be made being outsourced to several diffrent places, and to see what one of those places, their recently aquiried french stuido, could handle this kind of work. 

The film, if succesful would be the first of Disney’s MovieToons line, a series of films based on their shows. As you can tell by the fact only this movie and Goof Troop happened and the Movie Toons label wasn’t applied to that one it very much failed. While the film was warmly recevied by people who liked the show general audiences didn’t turn out for it. As a result the MovieToons label was scrapped, future projects with it were canceled.. but the stellar work put in by the french stuidio lead to it perserviering for several more decades and lead to them working on the Goofy Movie, which we’ll get to later this month but needless to say was a MUCH bigger hit with a much bigger budget. 

As for why the film failed... I have two theories. THe first is that parents were stupid back then and didn’t want to pay to see something on the big screen they could see on tv’s. This is a stupid mentality to me as generally a movie of a tv show puts in a ton of extra effort and usually goes bigger and dosen’t go home. It’s a likely theory given most liscened films of the era didn’t do quite well, with all three hasbro films tanking. And look I get Transformers the Movie is cheesy and killed a lot of people’s childhood toys, but damn if it ain’t aweosme.. and also something I need to cover at some point. Thankfully this died out by later in the 90′s with Rugrats getting a hugely succesful if flawed film, a better sequel and a third one that was also a crossover with the wild thornberries. 

And even now in 2020 we’re getting the Loud House and Rise of the TMNT movies sometimes this summer, we were SUPPOSED to have gotten the bobs burgers movie this summer but arne’t because Disney is being a dick about it.

And we got a phineas and ferb movie last year. With this trend hopefully thsi means we’ll get a Ducktales 2017 movie at some point since season 4 left a huge sequel hook laying right there to grab for a feature film.  One final note: The film was conceptually thought up as a 5 part serial like “Treasure of the Golden Suns”, “Catch as Cash Can”, “SuperDucktales” and “Time is Money, something that DOES show as the movie weirdly has act breaks. In a feature film. Yup. 

The Guest Cast:

I won’t go into the full cast since I’ve sung Alan Young and Russi Taylor’s praises PLENTY on this blog before, and I plan to go into Beakly and Launchpad’s actors when they show up in the pilot movie. But i’d be remiss if i didn’t talk about our three guest actors for our three new parts. 

First up is Merlock voiced by legend and if I had a hall of fame, hall of famer Christopher Lloyd.. I need to get me one of those. Lloyd is of course known for playing Doc Brown in back to the future but has done countless other films, voicework, and other good stuff. Among his MASSIVE filmography includes The Back to the Future Trilogy (Already mentioned it but it bears repeating), Star Trek III, Who Framed Roger Rabbit as the pants destroyingly terrifying Judge Doom, The Addams Family duology as fester, a role rip torn would ironcially play for the animated series made to captalize on said movie, Hey Arnold! The Movie, The Oogieloves in The Big Ballon Adventure (Look everybody needs money sometimes okay?), and Art of the Deal: The Movie, which was not, thankfully an ego filating nightmare made by trump himself but a film made by funny or die parodying his terrible book and having Llloyd return as Doc Brown. TV Wise he’s known for Taxi, Back to the Future the Animated Series, Cyberchase and he most recently popped up on Big City Greens. How I missed that ep I.. do know as I haven’t watched season 2. Gonna fix that later this month. Lloyd is utterly awesome, a great guy and thankfully still alive at the time of this writing, so I was happy to have him here. 

Less familiar to me but still known is Rip Taylor, a comedian known for his flamboyant unique way of speech and his marvelous mustache. He showed up in things occasionally and always seemed like the nicest guy and his passing in late 2019 truly is sad. He does a terrific job here but more on that in a moment. 

Finally we have Richard Libertini, a comedian I never really saw in anything besides this who according to IMDB was most famous for his ablility to do a foreign accent. I REALLY hope all of them aren’t as horribly racist as this one. We’ll.. get to that in a sec as it’s time for the plot!

A Treasure Uncovered:

We open our film gorgeously. The animation is great in the film, having some rough edges I chalk up to the film’s hectic production, the studio being new at working at disney properties, and the film not being meant for HD. That being said a few rough spots here and there aside.. the film looks ungodly gorgeous. Like most theatrical films based on a cartoon it takes an already great style and makes it look great. It feels like a more fluid evolution of the cartoons look and it’s a shame we didn’t get more movies in this style for both this show and others, ESPECIALLY Darkwing Duck. Can you imagine a Darkwing Duck movie with this lush animation? Hopefully we’ll get one eventually. 

So our heroes are going to somewhere in the Middle East. That’s.. that’s all wikipedia gives me and all the film gives me. As usual Scrooge is after treasure in this case the Treasure of Collie Baba, the greatest thief there ever was based obviously off Ali Baba from 1001 nights and that one Beastie Boys song. 

It’s here we find the WORST thing about the film, the thing that makes this a hard one to watch depsite otherwise being pretty good, and that makes my skin crawl knowing i’m a white man and a BUNCH of white guys, Ducktales series creator who did the voice casting for this character, the writers who wrote him, the direector disney them fucking selves who thought this was okay. 

The film has some horrible steroytping. It starts with a bunch of backgorund guys surronding Scrooge, with crooked teeth and steotypical voices. This on it’s own is odious. 

It somehow gets worse. Then we meet one of our antagonists. We meet Dijon. 

This Fucking Guy 

Djon is horribly offensive reminding me of other such luminaries in being ungodly offensive yet somehow getting put to film as Jar Jar Binks (With all respeect to his poor actor Ahmed Best, this is not his fault), Rob Schinder as a Sterotypically asian preist, Skids and Mudflap, Rob Schinder as a sterotypically mexican bandit, The Whitewashed cast of The Last Airbender, and Rob Schinder as a stereotypically asian preist. What i’m saying is Djon is an AWFUL, horribly offensive character.. and that Rob Schinder should be shot up into space, not to watch cheesy movies, he’s not funny enough for that, but instead to be sent to a satlitie that’s liveable, but also filled to the brim with spring loaded boxing gloves. Just tons of boxing gloves that feel like getting punched by a heavewight boxer all hidden... they could hit his legs, his face, his nuts, his face and his nuts, the point is he’s in constnat pain unless he moves carefully. 

And lest you think i’m exaggerating for starters this is his design. 

It just screams “vaugely but sterotpyically middle eastern” along with cowardly. The fact he’s also a literal rat is just the icing on the cake made of broken glass, shrapnel and broken DVD’s of Transformers; Revenge of the Fallen. They say if you eat a reveng eof the fallen dvd John Tutoro appears at the foot of your bed and watches you while you sleep.. and by they I mean me. It was a bad bet. I got rid of him with some insese and a bribe of five dollars. 

Oh but that’s just design.. when he talks it’s MUCH worse. His voice is like if they took Apu from the simpsons and said “This but MORE offensive”, and his perosnality is WORSE. He’s a thief.. and not in the endearing loveable rogue way but he’s a pick pocket and a running “Gag’ is that he’ll often grab eveyrthing within reahc. As the deisgn shows he’s a coward running at every opportunity. Oh and to top it all off he’s the willing servant of the white coded, given all ducks in this series are white coded and voiced bby white actors, big bad. And the actor is naturally VERY white to make this cocktail of offensivness so complete that if Disney ever got rid of this film I GUARANTEE the republcian party would be running in with accusations of cancel culture gone amok and never shutting up about this like they did the muppets. Which for the record THEY DIDN’T CANCEL THEM, YOUR POINT IS ILLEGITMATE, THEY JUST WANTED TO BE SENSTIVE YOU GHOULS. 

I do have a reason for bringing up Disney’s content warnings... most damming of all given just how DEEPLY uncomfortbale this character is.. there isn’t one for this movie. I double checked: There isn’t even wanring notes on the website. It’s just.. on there. And given just how ghastly a sterotype Djon is.. that’s not right. Seriously they DID put them on certain episodes of the show, theyk now this sort of thing is wrong and they done wrong.. but for NO reason they haven’t done so for a film released 31 years ago. Around the same time as the series and just offensive as that show at it’s worst if not more so. This is flatly inexcusable.. par for the course for Disney’s incompetence but still horribly furstrating, disgusting and shameful.. which has been the theme of the last three days really. I expect better because when it comes to putting that warning label on this stuff, they usually are better. First the scheduling mixup and now this. You already do a handful of things wrong Disney why add this to the list?!

It’s just draining not only to run into another Disney Fuckup after a weekend of dealing with one of their worst in recent memory, but just to watch Djon. To see this horrible caractrure saunter onto the screen and go on with his harmful schtick, to see that THIS is what Ducktales 87 reduced non white people to more often than not.  It’s remarkable just how throughly and awesomely Frank and Matt completely and totally reversed this. Instead of horrible sterotypes in the reboot, we got TONS of loveable people of color, an endearing latino hero, a smart african american buisness woman who takes no shit but is still a consumate professional, and an egyptian HERO with an intresting story and a strong moral code instead of this horrible reminder that racisim in media was such an afterthought not ONE person brought this up during the scyfy wire stuff or in any inteview i’ve seen. No one cared. Djon was POPULAR enough that he got three episode sin the series. THREE FUCKING EPISODES. This film could be GOOD.. but it’s just so bogged down EVERY FUCKING TIME this artists interpreitation of what Tucker Carlson sees when he looks at a middle eastern person I had to pause to compose myself and had to take a break writing this review to avoid tyiping this in all caps and using the phrase YOU RACIST MOTHERFUCKERS every other sentence. And again i’m white, I get this is second hand offensiveness.. I do... but it dosen’t mean I can’t be offended other white people were so callous about other cultures behaviors this happened.

And what makes me feel worse.. is that I just sorta... never thought about white people voicing non white characters. Things like this I noticed sure, I realize now part of the reason I didn’t like this movie the first time I saw it was this alex jones version of a looney tune, but I do feel shame for not noticing or caring long before this. Sure I loved it when a character of color got played by a person of color.. but I didn’t realize just how deep that problem was and how LONG it went on for before the outcry post george floyd and the call to action lead to most shows still going course correcting. It’s why stuff like this extra botehrs me: because THIS was just as okay at the time. No one blinked twice about this and odds are the creators involved still haven’t. And that.. that’s just terrible and it hurts to think about and  I still have most of the movie to go.  

The Pyramid of Peril:

So we do get a gorgeous unvewling scene of a box Scrooge found out about from Collie Baba’s horde that should lead them to the treasure. This scene reminds me of Indina Jones.. and I bring this up because the poster was specifically made to mimick an indinia jones poster, to the point of getting drew struzan to do it. THe creator of Ducktales objected..l but I do not get WHY. While I”m not sure if he had yet, Speilberg flat out admits the Carl Barks comics were an inspiration for Indina Jones, with the iconic bolder chase coming from a similar scene in one of Barks Stories. Gotta cover that too. So yeah I don’t get not wanting an indina jones style poster when both were inspiried by the same work and it’s just simple logic and it looks so neat. Thank you. 

Scrooge finds seemingly just clothes.. and a map. Jeff Dunham’s Most Racist Puppet reports to his master, Merlock. Merlock is a.. meh villian. Christopher Lloyd does try.. but Lock is your standard evil overlord wants to take over the world type. He dosen’t have much depth, or personality and only his style saves him from dragging the film down along with Dana Carvey’s most racist disguise in master of disguise. He does have a deent shape shifting gimick and being played by Christopher Lloyd means he’s acted TREMENDOUSLY. Alan Young was apparently in awe watching him work and that’s wonderful to hear. The guy did his best. Weirdly Merlock would show up in tons of other works, mostly video games.. but even weirder he NEVER showed up in ducktales 2017. Both Djon and Gene would, Djon thankfully renamed we’ll get to all of that tommorow thank god. I need it after this. But Frank has outright said they didn’t use Merlock because there simply wasn’t anything they could do with him they couldn’t dow ith magica. My likely guess is the might of found a way to revamp him EVENTUALLY, it’s not like radical revamps weren’t there thing come on, they just had way more stories with Magica and didnd’t get around to it before the show was canceled. Just make him some sort of evil god or something. it’s what I might do. There’s a lot of angles with him. Though I would’ve still gotten christopher lloyd back. I mean most of the recasting is good but he’s still alive and deserved a better shot at things. 

So Merlock sends Djonn to go with scrooge as his guide to find the treasure, as there’s something of imense power within it. And I gotta ask WHY does Merlock need a minon. No really. This isn’t a situation like reboot magica where he’s trapped in another realm. He can shapeshift into any animal. We only see him use falcon, rat, cockroach and bear but theoritically he can become anything and bear alone is still a LOT. Why does he need this sterotype even other sterytopes ar eashamed of? The film dosen’t NEED Djonn. Just let Christopher Lloyd monologue and leave this post 911 propogranda cartoon at home. 

So our heroes nad rejected jar jar prototype head into the desert, and seemingly find nothing before finding a small pyramid all while Merlock follows desecretley as a mighty hawk. 

Scrooge makes the boys and Djon dig... because they clearly forgot the “work hard” part of his ethos. 

Our heroes unveil the pyramid... and while Merlock SAYS he searched the desert and I get it’s hard to see thourgh all of that.. the dude is immortal, had decades to search and had Mickey Rooney there on standby to force him to go comb the desert. I have an artist rendering of that hang on

So our heroes enter the pyramid and it goes.. really how you’d expect: there’s a bunch of traps our brave explorers have to pass, the boys minintpret a juinor woodchuck saying about loosing your marbles to mean using the ones they actually have which geninely comes in handy as they trip the traps and Rob SChinder as a carrot stumbles into one. Also launchpad is wearing a hawaiin shirt and shades. This has no baring on the plot, but it does bring the movie up a notch in my book and I question why the reboot never used this outfit. Then again they also never properly used Donald’s Quack Pack Outfit (Which bad show or not, is objectively awesome), or his Quack Shot Indiana Jones Riff Outfit, so  it’s not like there isn’t a presdecnt for not giving a character a cool costume change from a previous medium. I really should do a top 12 missed opportunities list for the 2017 cartoon.. the ideas for stuff are really piling up. 

OUr heroes eventually find the treasure which has insidiously clever security the more I think about it: at first I thought it had none, just a pit with some... scorpions? I mean their supposed to be but they look like they crawled out of the same stygian hole in the sky Doofus crawled out of. And if your asking me “wait which Doofus” the answer is both. Both these abominations crawled out of a stygian hole in the sky.

But the treasure is on a platform surrounded by scoprions with the only way out being the trap filled way they came in. Unless someone comes in with a full team and a bunch of lootin sacks, they aren’t getting out with EVERYTHING. They can steal SOME of the treasure but there’s no way to get any signifigant portion... and the team thing itself is an issue, something Collie defintely predicted being a thief himself: while some thieves can work well as a team, hence why we have four oceans movies 3/4 damn good, and for the record 12 is the bad one, 8 is how you do a soft reboot and a female led reboot right, a good chunk of professional crooks will turn on each other or try and swinldle... and tha’ts dangerous in a trap filled temple but hey some criminals ain’t so smart.  If they all were Rudy Gulliani wouldn’t have two razzies for preparing to pull his pants down, and have waved his phone around on tv like a dare for future adminstrations to arrest the shit out of him would he? 

But Scrooge has his family so they get loading. But not before Webby finds the lamp. Not knowing about it Scrooge has no intrest in it, but Webby does. We also get a really simple but hilarious gag where SCrooge dickers over the idea for a second.. before Webby picks up a Jeweled tiara to possibly take instead. The best gags to me are often the ones that just let the character’s perosnalities take the lead and bounce off each other. It’s why when I reviewed the four lilo and stitch crossovers recently I harped on character interaction as their biggest weakness: it’s what MAKES a good work for me. It’s why my faviorite comics and shows often follow a loveable group of disfunctional misfits. I like a group of big personalities who despite in theory should NOT be able to work making it work anyway. And it’s honeslty what’s made Scrooge last so long: Scrooge on his OWN is awesome.. but iwth the boys, donald, and in the case of this series and the reivival Webby and Launchpad, with people to bounce off of who he contrasts heavily with, from Launchapd’s buffonery to Webby’s inehrent sweetness in both versions, to the boys genuine honesty and sense of adventure.... it makes him truly stand out. He’s a great character on his own, don’t get me wrong.. but it’s the people around him that give him chances to show WHY. A good character on it’s own is fine and dandy.. a good character with other good characters around them is where it gets truly special. 

Merlock naturally bursts in and in a VERY Black Heron move needlesly outs what micheal bay sees when he closes his eyes as a bad guy... no really he grabs the guy with his talons as he captures the treasure and reveals he’s a bad guy. I don’t even get why keep Djonn alive. He’s done all Merlock possibly could’ve needed and Merlock is ruthless... this makes no sense and only happens because they need Djonn for later in the plot.

Our heroes barely escape, rafting out on the platform itself in a thrilling sequence.. but it’s the one right after that catches my attention. Scrooge utterly defeated, having searched for this treasure for forty years and unresponsive to everyone else. The anmation, coupled with the incomprable Alan young’s acting makes this the highlight of the film for me. Beneath the armor of wealth and skill.. is only a poor old man who just lost something he’s been chasing after most of his life. Scrooge tries his hardest not to be vunerable and both shows and the original comics all use that so when he truly is devistated like this, and i’ts belivible since this treasure is a personal goal of his and as someone who has had things that they seek out specifically, loosing them always hurts. It hurts to ALMOST reach a goal only to have it crumble out under you

But while this alone is good.. what’s next makes it great. Webby sweetly offers up the lamp. Scrooge turns it down, and her genuine gesture reinvgorates him and reminds us of who he is “I’ll find it if it takes another 40 years”> Scrooge may be bitter, mean and selfish a lot of the time.. but deep down, he’s a good man and one who will not give up, and a momentary setback can only stop him so long as long as he has his family to remind him of who he truly is.. and what’s truly important. It’s genuinely sweet and to me is also a reminder of why 87 Webby is a good character: Shes’ not perfect, her main personality trait is often Girl Sterotype”.. but she’s a genuinely sweet small child with a huge heart. It’s telling that while 17′ Webby is almost completely diffren,t and far better, that heart remains her biggest strength. Sure her reboot self could kill a man nad no one would ever find the body, but it’s her heart and empathy that makes that possible and makes her Webby.  That inherent loving nature is what makes Webby webby wether she’s a toddler having a tea party or a tween getting ready to intergoate a guy with a meat tenderizer while saying ‘Cute girl stuff”. 

Gene Genie Let’s Himself Go:

It’s a few days later and this is the point where it REALLY becomes obvious this was written as a bunch of episodes. Though to the film’s credit while it does ake this feel like a compliation movie as a result... it dosen’t hamper the film’s quality, condiment from Rush Limbaghs’ hot dog stand does that just fine, but once you notice it it’s impossible to unotice it. Weirdly though it seems chunked up into four episodes rather than the usual five, likely cutting down an episode, though I can’t see where they cut out material frankly if they did and i’ts just as likely they woudl’ve had to make one to fill in the space.

So Scrooge is in a mood, being grumpy with his secretary Mrs. Featherly, quackfaster in all but name, and having to be sent home. So while Duckworth goes to fetch him Webby polishes her treasure at long last readying for a tea party, something the boys roundly reject because their sexist little twits and swo were the writers or executies who assumed all little boys act the same. It’s easily my biggest pet peeve with the series as a whole: anytime this crops up with the boys it turns them into the worst dicks imaginable. It’s telling this, being mean about her wantin ga tea party with her surrogate brothersi s TAME. Normally they’ll say she can’t do things because she’s a girl or mock her hobies outright instead of just be mildly dickish. And while she dosen’t look much younger Webby is VERY CLEARLY, in this series anyway, supposed to be say 5 or 6 to the boys 8-10. 7 at most. SHe’s a small child and while it is realistic for older kids to bully younger ones, it’s not fun to watch. It’s why I get annoyed at all the big sibling bully characters.. some work, but most aren’t fun to watch because there’s nothing funny or intresting about it. It’s the same deal here. 

Thankfully that quickly goes away as the lamp moves when Webby rubs it and does so again to prove it did move. Huey finishes it and we’re introduced to Gene, the best part of the film.  Gene is a Genie and he takes a second to dart around before messing with the appliances in the kitchen, as he was last around during the time 1001 Nights Came About. Cleverly though, and so we thankfully don’t have 80 dozen fishout of water jokes that have already been done before. As you can probably guess i’m not a huge fan of time travel fish out of water stuff. Now from another dimensoin or planet, i’m on board with with Star Vs, Steven Universe and Sym-Bionic Titan being great examples of this, as is the comic resident alien. (Despite having the wonderous Alan Tuduk the show sounds way more mean spirited and misses the entire point of the comic as given by the author in the credits, i.e. that the alien is supposed to NOT be a threat and just be gently waiting for a ride) The inverse is also good with Amphbia and owl house, taking a human and plopping them into our world. But time travel stuff just usually runs the same beats of “look at the shiny thing” and what not. The only time i’ve sene something SIMILAR work is with thor where their society is SIMILAR to vikings time but still it’s own thing.. it also gave us a classic gag in..

So yeah i’m glad they dropped this and instead had a clever way around it: Gene reads the encylopedia at the mansion. Granted it’s Scrooge so I don’t know how current it is and given this came out in 1990 thus HOW racist it is. It’s not a questoin of IF it was, but how much.

But having caught up the kids confront him with the fact he has to grant wishes. This lamp runs on what I now realize are Aladdin rules: Whoever currently holds the Lamp is the Genie’s master, they only get three wishes, and that dosen’t reset if it changes hands. The only big diffrence from the usual is Gene dosen’t have to TELL them about the wishes like Genie did, and Gene very begrudginly agrees to it. He also seem’s phsyically pained when doing so. 

So since all 12 know about him, each of the kids gets a wish though it seems unfair with HDL. Their one person, they shoudln’t get 9 wishes just because their brain is spread out over three bodies. 

This film continues the weird simliarties to Aladdin by attaching rules though they instead come up as a result of our heroes talking rather than the Genie just flat out tleling them: both share the “you can’t wish for more wishes” thing, a common rule in these stories and usually only broken nowadays as a clever twist as the rule is SO common place, not having it is a twist. But it is there for a reason: to limit the sheer power of a reality warping wish. The wishes can also only go so far. In a nice line, when Huey, Dewey or Louie suggests wishing for peace one earth, Gene says “No pipe dreams’ He can’t bend people or reality on THAT scale. He can bend reality as we find out, but it’s smaller scales like turning someone’s possesions over ot someone else, warping the bin into a castle, or bringing inanitamte objects to limited life. Still HUGE feats worth of a genie, so Gene’s power isn’t so nerfed it’s unusuable, but it does explain why his evil pervious ownder Merlock, more ont hat in a bit too, didn’t just wish to have eternal dominon over the earth or something. Gene can do just about anything but he can’t change the world on a fundemental level. 

And I do LIKE having rules in wished based stories like this, I chalk it up to growing up with Fairly Odd Parents... though they eventually went too far in the oppsoitie direction, pulling rules out of their ass to suit the episode, instead of simply having some very standard, very understandable rules that still pose challenges but don’t outright cheat so the episode can happen. 

So Webby does her first wish.. and wishes for a Baby Elephant, something Gene is against as he prefers they keep the wishes small: otherwise he gets found out, and the fight over him begins. So one of the boys wishes him away. Or Webby does. Point is it’s gone though not before Beakly sees it and Scrooge smells something is up. Our heroes try to hide gene, but gene thankfully simply dresses up like a modern kid and thus is able to pass as a friend of there staying for the night. 

So with the rules established and what not the kids find a clever solution: they simply go a ways away from the mansion into the woods, far enough from town to avoid any suspcion, and same iwth the mansion and just wish for all kinds of stuff: a giant bunch of ice cream toys, standard kid wish fufillment but it’s nice... in part because the kids treat Gene like one of them. Wihle they STARTED asking him about the wishes, this starts the bonding process. Soon he will be part of the hive mind.. SOON. 

Until then though after using another wish to make scrooge not mad at them for coming home late and missing dinner, that night we find out Gene’s backstory.... and it’s an utter tearjerker. As it turns out Merlock wants him back because he’s Gene’s former master and as you’d guess.. it was NOT a happy existnace, used contstnatly to do horrible things with no power to stop himself. Pompeii and Atlantis were both directly Merlock’s fault and it was only Collie Baba stealing the lamp that put an end to his hell. He also answers the two obvious questions botht he audeiince and the boys have: How the hell is Merlock still alive and shoudln’t he be out of wishes then? The first is simple. Unlike pretty much every DBZ Villian whose WANTED to do so, Merlock wished for immortality first chance he got, taking the Zamasu route instead and thus leaving him free. 

As for the wishes thing it turns out his amulet, in adition to shapeshifting, also gives him extra wishes becuase fuck it. 

But the boys sweetly offer to protect him. 

The next day, Apu’s Cousin let’s Merlock know the maps in the mansion and Merlock has him help sneak in with Merlock taking rat form. This backfires as Mrs. Beakley notices the form and chases after him with a broom

Meanwhile Webby has her tea party with Gene after he and the boys played cops and robbers earlier, and he’s bored.. though nicely not because it’s a girly thing, but because the stuffed animals aren’t alive and she naively has him fix that. This leads to 

Which sadly is jsut scrooge vs a duck toy but admit it, you want that movie for Disney Plus yesterday. Call Charles Band Disney. CALL CHARLES BAND! 

Whelp Scrooge Still Sucks:

Scrooge takes for a turn for the obnoxious in the next part, but i’ts fine by me as it’s part of the plot. Naturally this reinactment of Cult of Chucky has lead to Scrooge finding out about the Genie. To his credit, Scrooge is tactical about his wishes. As said by the Duck himself “I could wish for a diamond, no the world’s biggest dimaond, no ten world’s biggest diamond, no a diamond mind, no the MINING INDUSTRY!”

The sheer power this gives him is TERRIFYING, both because of his status.. and because unlike the kids who all wished for simple kid stuff and used up their wishes quickly, he both gets how much he can do with this and could conquer the world economy if he truly wanted to. 

The obnoxious part comes in as he treats Gene as not a person, figuring he’s just there and forces him into the lamp despite the kids protests after Gene grants his first wish: Collie Baba’s treasure. It also dosen’t feel like the wishing nor him using the lamp to get the tresure back goes against his hard work ethos: for the former while he is getting all this magically, he’s still having ot use his wits to get the most out of it, and he did earn the lamp itself square. For the latter, he already earned the treasure square too and had it stolen. He’s onlyg etting back what’s by all rights HIS. Granted he plans on giving most of it up for a tax break but still it’s his by right. 

However the reason his assholery works is twofold: first it’s Scrooge. While he’s not a TERRIBLE person, in the comcis and this cartoon he isn’t a GOOD person either. He DOES have a good heart and will usually do the right thing, but his first instnct is always to get more money and to be a cantakerous old bastard to eveyrone and everything. While he’s subtly grew out of “I hate eveyrone and everyone hates me” as his guiding principal, it’s still his defualt reaction to most situations. But he first relents by letting Gene attend the party, part of why the Collie Baba thing stung so bad was that he’s told the historical society he’d get the treasure for years only to come back empty handed, if shrunken. But he still manages to have a good time while Asok and Merlock infiltrate.. well I’mRunningOutofINsultingNIcknamesCanYouTell steals the silverware. Yes... that.. that really happens. 

Look we’re almost done, i’m almost free of this racist mummies curse. Let’s continue. Gene sees melock and freaks and drags SCrooge with him and while at First Scrooge is cranky...

No but now I want a Donkey Kong Country crossover too dammmit. And to talk about those games. Another thing for the list. But Scrooge is righ tot be a bit surly...

Okay now your just pushing it. As Gene whisked him away without telling him anything other than vauge worries... but then he gets a full idea of why Gene’s so terrified when Merlock shapeshifts into a bear and starts breaking the door down. Eh, could be worse. 

Gene shrinks them to escape and Merlock leaves thinking they fled but leaves Skids Minus Mudflap to go look for them. Scrooge sneaks out but bumps into a cart running from the photo you see when you look up stereotype on google. I mean I assume.. let’s try it. 

Huh you know I HOPED but I never expected... 

So Google Proving My Point plans to give his lamp to the master because of his weird Torgo-Esque obession with helping a man who clearly wants to murder him but takes his sweet time doing so because plot, and Gene figuring this COULDN’T POSSIBLY go as bad as Melock getting him urges the dummy to keep him and make his own wishes.

This goes about as well as you’d expect....

Wiped Out With A Wish:

Scrooge returns home to find Watto has wished to take his poessions, fortune, everything and Scrooge gets thrown in jail for breaking into his own house. We get two great moments back to back. The first is Scrooge lamenting loosing his fortune in jail, and realizing the sheer power and risk of the lamp, especially since he worked hard to earn it, every bit of it.. and Sam Wilson’s 70′s Backstory came in and took it all in an instant. 

The second is Scrooge’s family coming for him, including Launchpad , Beakly and Webby obviously and bailing him out. Though Beakly is UNGOLDLY annoying in this scene, sobbing hysterically and adding nothing and it’s not nearly as funny as the  film thinks. Turns out Goliath getting buried wrapped in chains threw them out. 

Scrooge takes a bit to rebound from all this.. but eventually realizes something: he knows the security of the bin inside and out. He had it put in after all. So it’d be easy enough to break in. So they gotta break in to break out the lamp, undo this nightmare, and END THIS MOVIE. Seriously this review has taken two days  as is I do NOT want to miss my invincible review. 

So they break into the bin, and it’s a tightly paced Scene, scrooge going in one way while the kids go the other and we even get a nice callback as the marbels come in handy to get past one of the traps. It’s just a good scene. it’s only real flaw is that Launchapd just sorta disappears as does Duckworth despite the fact their in a plane, and the bin later gets turned into a floating castle. Kinda a plot hole to not have Launchpad crash in to save htem just saying. 

Scrooge eventually does get to Djonn, whose been ignoring the imminent threat of Merlock while Gene sweats it out... and this backfires horribly as Merlock hitched a ride as a roach (Though there was a hilarious scene of him getting fried constnatly by lasers when Louie went through a laser hallway, as while Louie had the directions, it dind’t take into account passengers on your head. 

So Merlock remanifests in full gets the Lamp and unleashes his wrath on Tin Tin in the Congo and turns him into a wild pig. 

Not you sweetie. He then forces Gene to turn the castle into a fortress and float it back to his home in parts unknown. It’s a DAMN cool scene with impressive and horrifiing animation as the bin melts and crumbles into thte castle and the kids barely make it up the stares as they shift and disolve. Really top notch stuff.

Scrooge stands up to Merlock... and this naturally goes poorlyw ith Gene begging Merlock not to respond.. and Merlock having him blow scrooge off the top of the forgtess storm eagle style, though scrooge understands. And this is the true reason why scrooge being a dick didn’t bother me so much. Because it helps create a great contrast between him and Merlock. Both thought of Gene as a tool rather than a person.. but Scrooge grew to realize he was wrong and what he was dealing with wasn’t some magical goodies creator.. but a child forced to constantly grant wishes, in sheer agony to do so no less, likely so sick of it because again and again and again people used him as a slave to get what they wanted and to hell with what Gene wanted. He realized he was terrible for making this poor boy into his slave simply because that’s his job. In contrast Merlock could give no shits and is a malevolent monster who glefully uses Gene despite the pain the wishes put him through and his protests. It’s why Gene is the best part.. he’s  athroughly likeable, throughly inncoent character with tons of personality and a truly tragic and horrifying backstory and Rip Taylor acts the hell out of every scene with the guy. 

Thankfully the marbles come in handy one last time and Huey, Dewey or Louie snipes the lamp away and a struggle for it insues between Scrooge and Merloc mid air. it’s fucking awesome.. and it get sbetter in how scroogewins. He simply gets rid of Merlock’s amulet, taking it then throwing it. Grante dhe COULD’EVE used it for unimited wishes.. but it was too risky to do that and as we’ll see in the ending , Scrooge realized the Lamp was too powerful to keep around for much longer and too much of a tempting target for his rogues.. not that we see them this movie as the crew wanted it to bea ccesaible and thus kept hte cast to the main cast from season 1 and just made new vilians and a new supporting character, but still. 

He does use his second wish though to undue the damage Merlock had done and the bin and clan mcduck are returned to duckburg in good condition.

Time for our ending, which is genuinely and wholly touching. With the lamp too dangerous to use Scrooge considers just sending it to the earth’s core, which horrifies the kids as it’d mean Gene would be trapped there forever... if the molten lava iddn’t just outright destory the lamp and probably kill him. But Scrooge.. isn’t the bastard he likes to potray himself as. Instead he makes Gene into a real boy. He gives the poor kid HIS wish, which designrates the lamp and undoes all the spells... so Merlock is PROBABLY dead but he does return for some games so maybe not? 

And so we end on two things: Gene happily playing cops and robbers with the boys finally free.. and Birth of A Nation grabbing all the loot he can in his patns and running off. Ha ha ha thank god i’m done with this prick. And no I will not be looking at his ducktales episodes unless I have to. 

Final Thoughts:

This movie is OKAY. It has a solid plot, gene is a wonderful chacter, the animatoin is pretty prettay pretty good, and the voice acting as usual is excellent, with Rip Taylor being the standout. 

But as my paragraphs of rage shoud’ve made Clear Djonn is just BAD. Easily the worst character i’ve encountered in my year of reviewing and some of the worst writing i’ve ran into. And that writing includes a goblin man voyerstically forcing two teenagers to make out, making jokes about santa renaming himself Clem the sceneafter he tearfully confessed to letting the elves and ms. claus die, accidental transphobia via the u-men, and Bryan Lee O malley thinking we needed more than one volume of Julie Powers being around.  This was disgusting, even by 1990 standards and especially by 2021 standards and it drags the film down considerably. Without it the film is okay.. with it the film is just VERY hard to watch any time he pops up.  He made getting through the movie a nightmare and while I pause a lot becaue it’s a bad habbit I did so more simply because as I said earlier in the review I could not stand him. 

It makes it a hard film to recommend. If you can stomach the racisim, then it might be worth it, but be aware of what your putting up with going in. But if you can’t.. there’s no shame in that, it’s carbombya levels of bad. Which yes was a real fictoinal country. It was so bad Casey Casem quit transformers over it. True story. So yeah, it’s an okay film, on par with the series at it’s best for the most part.. but Djonn just spoils it for me. 

If you liked this review, like it, share it around that sort of thing and if you want MORE disney movie reviews, in addiiton to the goofy movie one later this month, if you help me hit my 25 dollar stretch goal on patroen.com/popculturebuffet, i’ll do reviews of the Recess, Proud Family and Kim Possible MOvies (Well so the drama anyway), so help me out would you and i’ll see you at the next rainbow.

[justinunlocd]

STORY TIME!!!

When I was in the sixth grade, I started playing in band. We had two days to look at the band and orchestra instruments, and for some reason percussion chose me; probably because of the few years before playing in Mr. Kevin Downie’s Orff Ensemble. If my memory serves me correct, Mrs. Carolyn Valiquette, my band director at the time, assigned us the task of writing a short piece for our band with a classmate; I was partnered with John Case. We wrote this piece called “Immortal,” and she liked it so much, we were able to play it at the last sixth grade band concert. I remember my older brother and grandmother being there to watch me play...

Later in middle school, eight grade year actually, I played a little solo at contest and got a “I” rating on it. It was a Handel violin sonata in F and Mrs. Celeste Smith gave me the opportunity to play it during the last band concert. I remember distinctly saying, right before I was about to play, “you ain’t gon say something?” She chuckled and obliged me a short introduction about me working on that piece and how proud she was of me. I was elated...

Ninth grade was the start of high school, which meant marching band, and I was playing snare drum with Amy, Drew, Pauline and Collin. That was the same year I started working on four-mallet technique and went to play in the front ensemble the next year. Sophomore year was also the same year the Derby High School Wind Ensemble was severed to play at KMEA. That year, I made it into the top band and was one of the four percussionists featured on our performance of David R. Gillingham’s “Concertino for Four Percussion and Wind Ensemble.” That was such a fun piece! I got to play this chromatic xylophone part in unison with Jason Lord. Glenn Woolard and Pauline Kennedy were the other feature soloists. That was probably the highlight of my high school music experience honestly, at least on the concert percussion side...

Then we get to Twelve Grade, I audition for the solo competition with the Wichita Youth Symphony. Unfortunately I only get a runner-up spot because [redacted] although I had the better performance of the excerpt I chose, Ney Rosauro’s “Concerto for Marimba and Orchestra No. 2.” However, it would only be a few years later I would be able to play the piece’s first movement, and cutting in the cadenza from the third, with the WSU Symphony Orchestra as a soloist for their Concerto-Aria Competition. That was Junior Year, and don’t we love a good vindication story?...

But I’m getting ahead of myself, sophomore year of college was the year I had a realignment of my purpose, and for the first time, chose to purposefully and intentionally move in that direction. It was November 22, 2010. We had a percussion ensemble concert that night, with guest artist, the one and only, and Wichita State University School of Music Alum, Kevin Bobo! We played his piece “Boboland,” where I got to play on the same marimba as him for a moment, it was hilarious and I still remember that moment fondly...

Funny enough, I was still an engineering major Sophomore year. At the same time, I was leaving my Physics class early to go to steel band rehearsal, and skipping Statics altogether to hang out with Patrick, Da’Kneisha and Sparkle LOL. It wasn’t until the end of that concert, where my mom sent me a text message that said something to the effect of, “if you change your major to music, we support you,” and so I decided to change my major to music, and also choose to put my pursuit of happiness above everything else...

Oh yeah, and then the percussion ensemble I was in, Impulse Percussion Group, won second place in the Konrad Wolff-Ilse Bing Chamber Music Competition to a bit of controversy à la “is percussion a chamber group/instrument...” yup, even in 2013, that was a scandal that we even participated, let alone placed...

Then for my second senior year, I finally played my senior recital and graduated college with my music degree. I already had a job setup at my church that I went into full-time one week after I graduated. (I do NOT recommend jumping from college immediately into job, it was a horrible mistake, but life happens fast.) I worked as the music director for the church for only three years before I realized my mental health was taking a toll. I became less of myself when I was at the office, I despised having to appear busy when I already completed my daily tasks (especially when I asked my supervisor for work to do, because according to him, “no one here has down time,” and he had nothing for me to do...) anyway, while on Facebook, I saw a post for an emergency percussion GTA position at WSU and I immediately contacted my old percussion professor, Jerry Scholl, on what I needed to submit to apply. Within a few weeks, I worked up the excerpts, recorded them all, and was accepted to begin my masters degree at WSU. And yes, I was fleeing a toxic work environment...

Cut to August 13, 2020. I’ve graduated with my Masters in Music. I’m a year and some change out of school and still only working gigs as to not get into a 9-5/M-F job. I’ve started modeling seriously and got signed to not one, but two agencies. But my focus wasn’t honed in with music, what do I seriously do with this degree and the accomplishments I’ve earned and worked for after college? And then I reconnected with my old best friend Da’Kneisha Nikoyle Blount. We had a conversation the day before and also on the day of our friend’s wedding. We talked about how we should do music again, we just talked about it, almost in jest, but also in a reminiscence. Who knew what we got ourselves into...

Our first music video.

Then a few articles here and there.

An inauguration.

Then a billboard.

An MLK event.

Contacted for a premiere piece.

Then our first concert.

A benefit concert.

A church service.

Recording in the studio.

A fundraising event.

A video shoot...

And now, as of May 5, 2021, I’ve performed and premiered my first wind symphony piece as a member of @tupacmeetsbach with @dnikoyle. The piece is called, “Stained with Beauty - for Solo Soprano, Solo Marimba, Wind Ensemble and Choir” and is an elaboration and development of the original song written by Da’Kneisha. The piece comprises of four movements, and is roughly 25 minutes in length. This piece is our baby and as Renee would say, “one of the most honest and innovative music projects.” I’m so thankful to all the musicians who rehearsed for months to make this performance happen!

Thank you to Dr. Timothy Shade for reaching out to us and providing us an ensemble to realize this piece. Thank you to the choir who became a nice supportive background for Da’Kneisha. Thank you to the stage techs and sound engineers for filming and recording this premiere. Thank you to my parents for financially supporting me during the pandemic to allow me to sustain while working fervently on this piece. And a special thank you to my best friend and partner in rhyme, Da’Kneisha, for your heart, your mind, and your friendship!❤️❤️❤️

Y’all have really made my dreams come true and I can’t wait to start working on the next piece already!!!

[anntoldst0ries]

Diagnosis

I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you who read my previous fic and left such kind comments. You can’t imagine how much I appreciate this!

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Vicky Valentine)

Word Count: 2,911

Summary: Dr Ramsey attempts to diagnose the most difficult case in his career...his own.

Warnings: None! A lot of introspection again and hints of angst :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ethan Ramsey considered himself a brave man.

He always had the courage to say whatever he wanted to say or what had to be said - be that a terminal diagnosis, savaging someone’s speech at a medical conference (only if the speaker was talking nonsense, that is), scolding an intern - you name it. 

With years of experience under his belt, Dr Ramsey excelled at the “art” of saying the most horrible, unpleasant and inconvenient things. It was a process he took to pieces and mastered every tiniest part.

He knew exactly what they were whispering behind his back in the hospital corridors. Dr Ramsey is a bully. A ruthless cynic. No one survived more than 3 minutes of his tirades without bursting into tears. Or, as some of the interns so lovingly put it, he was “the only survivor of a heart transplant”. The last remark had been conveyed to him by Baz, who found it hilarious…and so did Naveen. It took one deadly look to silence Baz forever, however Naveen used every occasion to remind his protégé of hospital’s favourite joke:

‘How’s your heart, Ethan?’

‘Good, why are you as—‘ Ethan didn’t have a chance to finish answering the question, interrupted by Dr Banerji who was in convulsions.

‘God, Naveen, for such a bright mind and one of the best doctors in the world, I still find it hard to believe that you have a sense of humour of a 5 year old’

‘There is nothing wrong with some joy, Ethan. You should try it sometimes, it may do you good.’

Similar conversations took place on a regular basis, but they always ended with Ethan rolling his eyes and Naveen sighing. Younger doctor would never, ever tell his mentor off, he respected him too much. So Ethan let Dr Banerji have some fun at his expense from time to time.

But, truth be told, he kept his emotions at a leash and he was good at it, because there wasn’t a thing in Ethan’s life that he wasn’t good at. Regardless of what it was - saving people’s lives or emotional self-deprivation.

That’s why reminiscing past 2 years was so hard for accomplished diagnostician. He couldn’t help but think that he’s lived more during this time than he’s lived during his whole life. His existence wasn’t a boring one, he loved his job and the cases that the team had to crack were mostly complex and thus exciting. There was also a sense of fulfilment and servitude to a greater cause.

As a kid, Ethan wanted to be a detective. It all started with Alan buying his son one of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s books. There was no hidden intention in this choice - Alan simply ran out of book ideas, Ethan was literally gobbling up the books at his disposal and was thirsty for more. Therefore, Mr Ramsey picked picked one of the thickest positions available in the book shop, with hopes it will keep Ethan occupied for at least a couple of weeks. Oh, how wrong he was - 5 days later his son was already begging for more.

Sherlock Holmes and Hercules Poirot quickly took the top spot on the list of Ethan’s childhood heroes. He was obsessed with their investigative methods, their sharp minds that captured even the tiniest of details and how missing those nuances would make solving a mystery a lot harder, if not impossible. 

That’s why he became obsessed with details. He analysed, compared, observed and noted down everything around him with deliberation. After a while, Ethan realised that these skills come handy in various areas of life. He could read people and to a degree foresee what their next move was going to be. If he wanted to, he could probably try and influence their decisions too. If it wasn’t for Alan’s upbringing, this particular skill might have taken his life onto a dark track, but fortunately he utilised it for greater good.

Having this sort of insight made him very self-conscious and he never turned away from reliving his own decisions and behaviours, which helped him become a better doctor, every single day. But he never wallowed in the mud of emotions, instead always operating on facts.

But for the past couple of months, this process became a pure torture. 

You know what they say, the devil is in the detail. And the devil it was indeed. 

The devil that would be the death of Ethan was 5’4, had raven hair, plumped lips, mesmerising eyes and a captivating laugh. 

Suddenly, he heard the devil’s voice in his head.

‘Are you pinching the bridge of your nose right now?’ 

He was.

‘God dammit!’ - shouted Ethan, so loud that he startled poor Jenner, who resigned from occupying the sofa and ran straight to his bed. Even the retriever, in his doggy wisdom, knew that when his master was upset, it was best to stay out of his sight and wait for the storm to pass.

Whenever Dr Ramsey had a serious dilemma, he would subtly join his thumb and index finger to pinch the gentle skin between eyes. She knew of this somewhat subconscious habit and teased him about it countless times. 

With most people, the whole observing and reading process was a one-sided game. For majority of mortals, Ethan was a closed book and they had no idea how to open, let alone read it. But not Rookie. She saw right through him. Ethan considered himself a riveting mystery thriller before, if we’re talking comparisons, but right now he was probably a cheap Harlequin. How did he sink so low in practically no time?

The answer came before he was even able to finish the question.

He was hopelessly, utterly and irreversibly in love with Dr Vicky Valentine.

“Victoria….” he whispered. He knew her full name, he’s read her bloody application and her employee file many, many times. More than he’d ever care to admit. Neither him nor anyone else addressed her by her full name. She always introduced herself as Vicky and even mentioned to him, June & Baz one time that she considered herself too young to be a bearer of such gracious name. But when the name fell out of his lips, it made perfect sense. Victoria. Victory. After a long, tough and heartbreaking battle, she’s won all of him. And man, wasn’t she fighting fiercely. 

She was so much like him, and yet so different. Patients loved her, and for a good reason - not only was she amazing at her job, but also so genuinely caring about every patient she met. Somehow, she was able to see past people weary of their conditions, instead she always noticed the human beings with their unique stories. Thanks to her, patients never felt like sickness became their identity, but merely a stage in their life that shall soon pass. 

Hospital staff adored her as well, she had time and a huge smile for everyone; her bright aura lit up every room she walked into and was a pleasure to be around. 

Those who knew Ethan a bit better or worked with him were aware of the insanely high standards he was holding himself to. And it would have been fine if they only applied to him, but he held everyone else to the same standard too. It was his buffer. Most gave up without even trying, it was humanly impossible to live up to such expectations. And that was the goal. Dr Ramsey wanted no distractions and if anyone wanted so much as approach him, they had a giant wall to jump over first.

But the young intern wasn’t bothered in the slightest. Dozens of people before her stood in front of the wall and tried to figure out how to get in. And she… she just found a tiny gap and squeezed right through. Before Ethan realised what’s going on, it was already too late. And she wasn’t even fully aware of what she’s done.

Like air, she’s entered his life imperceptibly, filling every space until there was nothing else. She was in every reflection he saw, every smile, every freaking thing a reminder of her, one way or another.

He was completely under her spell, enchanted, drunk in the thought of her.

The most ironic part was that if he went by his unreasonable standards, she’d never stand a chance.

She was messy, she was a klutz, she laughed too loud and rounded her eyes like a child when something seriously excited her.

And yet, something about her made him break all of his rules, lower his guard and re-think everything he’s ever thought he knew and believed in. 

Obviously, he wouldn’t be himself if the occupational quirk did not kick in at some point. Whatever the cause, Dr Ramsey had to get to the bottom of it, no matter how many tests did he have to run on his mind and heart. He needed the diagnosis so he could start the treatment. But his sharp diagnostic skills which made him a famous man, suddenly decided to go on unplanned vacation and it looks like they were not coming back anytime soon.

Ambivalence became Ethan’s newest companion. Some days, he thought he was going to blow his brains out, the others he was strangely content and did not want to analyse anything, things were good just as they were.

For the first time in his life, he felt truly lost. He felt like Jon Snow, he knew nothing. It wasn’t a result of one event, rather a chain reaction. Starting with Naveen getting sick, the inability to figure out what was wrong with his mentor made Ethan seriously doubt his capabilities as a doctor. Then, Louise Ramsey made a surprise reappearance after having walked out on him and his dad 25 years earlier. When he was little, his dad use to say that wherever Louise goes, trouble follows and it wasn’t any different this time. She brought company - insecurity, sorrow, resentment - to name just a few. Ethan felt like someone ripped a band aid from his heart and painfully reminded him that all the wounds are still alive and never really healed. 

And finally, Edenbrook. The place that others saw as walls, glass, beds, people in white coats, sickness, illness, death. To him, it was much, much more. The hospital had almost a transcendental dimension. It was here that Ethan’s transition had been completed. He shed his old skin and became Dr Ramsey, the person he was always meant to be.

That’s why Edenbrook closing hit him so hard - a part of him was about to die and be buried beneath years of sweat, tears and effort. It was probably the hardest thing to come to terms with in the 37 years that he’s been walking on the surface of the Earth.

And throughout all these events, she was with him.

She never gave up on Naveen and Ethan knew that there was more to it than just saving Edenbrook’s most prominent doctor. He believed, he wanted to believe that she did this for him too. 

The memory brought shame that drained off him like unpleasant wave of cold water. Ethan never really forgave himself for just laying in his bed like a drunk bag of potatoes, whilst she was busting her gut to solve the case, even though she had ethics hearing to prepare for. A hearing that could make or break her whole career, before she even had a chance to start.

Dr Ramsey would like to think they were alike. But as a matter of fact, she was a much better person than him.

Then, with his mother in the picture, she never told him what to do. Even though he asked, many times. He hoped someone can actually make the decision for him, because it hurt so much to even think about this, let alone decide what to do next. But she never did. She was just there and by simply being, she empowered him to make his own, informed decision. 

She was there, like no one else was in his entire life. Not to take anything from Naveen, who had tremendous effect on Ethan’s life - but this was completely different.

She penetrated his soul.

She made him feel.

Love.

It was the first time he used this word in a long, long time. 

And maybe, quite possibly, for the first time in his life he used it with intention. 

He thought he felt it once before. 

When he was a student at Johns Hopkins, Ethan met Camille. She was a year older than him, with angelic voice and looks, the cascade of blond locks surrounding her gentle facial features like a halo. 

What impressed him was that she kept hitting up on him, not the other way round. He’s had his mind set on graduating as a top student in his class and then getting the best residency there was - in Edenbrook hospital in Boston. It was either him or someone else. University romances were of no interest to him, or so he thought. After all, he’s just gone past his teenage years and was relatively new to the world of intimate human desires. As much as he tried to push them away, he had needs and his hormones were still a giant part of his decision-making process, doesn’t matter how hard he tried denying it.

Also, there was something motherly about her and she reminded him of the woman who left him when he was just a boy. It was completely fucked-up, he hated his mother and yet a memory of her and how he’d once do anything for her was tattooed in the insides of his brain.

Ethan and Camille shared a passion for medicine, music and opera. A few times, he was close to bringing her down to Providence, to introduce her to Alan, his father. But there was this weird voice in his head stopping him. 

Maybe that’s why he wasn’t overly surprised when one day he walked on Camille. In his bed. Screaming and making other explicit sounds…except, he wasn’t the igniter. It was none other than his best friend at the time, Tobias. Ethan would never forget the jealous glance he shot him with when he first brought Camille to one of the student parties. And then things got worse. Ethan and Tobias always competed and for a long time it was a fuel that kept them both going. But when someone wins, someone has to lose. Neither of them was good at losing or accepting the failure. 

Ethan was doing better than his best friend. Not significantly better, the difference between them had usually been slight, but it was there. Tobias couldn’t swallow this. Not only was Ethan doing better than him, he also had one of the most beautiful students at Hopkins by his side. Jealousy started to spread inside him like a wildfire and since his attempts to beat Ethan at school were futile, he decided to make use of his other skills. Tobias was a born flirter and charmer. He often used to say that no woman can resist his spell and that “where there’s a woman - there’s a way.”

Dr Ramsey never told anyone, but having found out that his girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend was sort of relief. Call it sixth sense, an intuition… subconsciously he sort of felt that she wasn’t a girl for him. As for Tobias, he was tired of the fight….of Tobias fighting with him, that is. Ethan wasn’t fighting, he was just a better student and was going to be a better doctor. He was tired of petty competition and how the toxin poisoned their relationship.

So they actually made him a favour and helped him killed 2 birds with 1 stone - he was saved from having an awkward break-up conversation that he’s never went through before and he now had every right to hate Tobias. He didn’t really, as such feelings were a waste of energy, but a week later Tobias moved out of their shared apartment and they never really spoke again.

After Camille, he was only in a brief relationship once. With Harper. He deeply admired and respected her, but when things started getting too serious (from her side), he distanced himself. And so, for a couple of years to follow, they were on the off and on again terms. They went through countless friends with benefits stages, but he genuinely enjoyed her company. They just never wanted the same things, which became more and more evident as she was getting older. And he respected her too much to mess her around.

Ethan’s career was everything to him and he accepted the fact that falling in love and having a family is just not in the cards for him.

Or so he thought.  

Dr Valentine entered his life one September morning and hasn’t left ever since. And, hell, hasn’t he tried to erase her. To make her hate him. To draw a line between work and personal life. He could honestly say that he tried everything.

For the love of God, he ran to fucking Amazon! He tried to hide from all things Dr Valentine, like a fool who forgot one of the most basic rules of life: there is no running away from yourself. 

Tag list (please let me know if you wish to be removed): @terrm9 @openheart12 @openheartthot @rookie-ramsey @alwaysmychoices @brooks-eden @drethanramslay @starrystarrytrouble @justanotherrookie @caseyvalentineramsey@incorrectopenheart @heauxplesslydevoted @perriewinklenerdie @mercury84choices @archxxronrookie @renasalek-blog @maurine07 @whippedforethanfreakingramsey @lemonmiddleton @tsrookie @choicesfan10 @dr-colossal-pita @queencarb @gryffindordaughterofathena @qrkowna @aarisa-frost @choicesficwriterscreations

[rapeculturerealities]

For millions of working women, the coronavirus pandemic has delivered a rare and ruinous one-two-three punch.

First, the parts of the economy that were smacked hardest and earliest by job losses were ones where women dominate — restaurants, retail businesses and health care.

Then a second wave began taking out local and state government jobs, another area where women outnumber men.

The third blow has, for many, been the knockout: the closing of child care centers and the shift to remote schooling. That has saddled working mothers, much more than fathers, with overwhelming household responsibilities.

“We’ve never seen this before,” said Betsey Stevenson, a professor of economics and public policy at the University of Michigan and the mother of a second grader and a sixth grader. Recessions usually start by gutting the manufacturing and construction industries, where men hold most of the jobs, she said.

The impact on the economic and social landscape is both immediate and enduring.

The triple punch is not just pushing women out of jobs they held, but also preventing many from seeking new ones. For an individual, it could limit prospects and earnings over a lifetime. Across a nation, it could stunt growth, robbing the economy of educated, experienced and dedicated workers.

Inequality in the home — in terms of household and child care responsibilities — influences inequality in the workplace, Misty L. Heggeness, a principal economist at the Census Bureau, concluded in a working paper on the pandemic’s impact for the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis. Without a more comprehensive system of support, she said, “mothers will forever be vulnerable to career scarring during any major crisis like this pandemic.”

The latest jobs report from the Labor Department showed that some of the damage was reversed last month as the service industry revived, nudging down the jobless rate for women to 6.5 percent, slightly below men’s. But there were still 4.5 million fewer women employed in October than there were a year ago, compared with 4.1 million men.

And according to the Census Bureau, a third of the working women 25 to 44 years old who are unemployed said the reason was child care demands. Only 12 percent of unemployed men cited those demands.

Laci Oyler has felt that pressure. Her husband, employed by a large printing company, was already working from home when the pandemic shuttered day care and schools in Milwaukee. But after two days of taking care of their two young sons, “he said, ‘Absolutely no way,’” Ms. Oyler explained. So she cut her weekly hours as a mental health counselor for Alverno College, a small Catholic institution, to five from 32.

In August, when she learned that public schools would continue to offer only online classes for the fall, Ms. Oyler decided she had little choice but to take an unpaid leave.

This month, she decided to resign.

“Work is so much more than what you’re taking home as payment,” Ms. Oyler said. “But when you look at that bottom line of risk versus reward, it doesn’t seem worth it,” she added, referring to the cost of child care combined with the possibility of coronavirus infection for her or her children.

As a licensed professional, Ms. Oyler does not expect to have difficulty returning to the work force when she is ready. But for most working women, dropping out to take care of children or other family members exacts a sizable toll, several studies have shown. Rejoining is hard, and if women do, they generally earn less and have less security. And the longer someone is out of work, the tougher it is to get back in.

Claudia Goldin, an economics professor at Harvard, said this was the first recession where the economy was so intertwined with the network of child care.

“During the Great Depression, no one cared about the care sector,” she said. “Women weren’t in the labor force, and they weren’t supposed to be.”

One reason that Congress started giving financial assistance to poor households headed by women in the 1930s, under a program originally titled Aid to Dependent Children, was so they could stay home with their children and not compete with men for jobs, Ms. Goldin said.

Only during World War II, when women were urgently needed in factories and offices to replace men who were in the military, did the government establish a far-reaching federally subsidized network of nurseries and child care centers in nearly every state. Once the war ended, so did the support.

“You cannot have a contented mother working in a war factory if she is worrying about her children, and you cannot have children running wild in the streets without a bad effect on the coming generations,” Senator Carl Hayden, an Arizona Democrat, testified in 1943.

Women make up roughly half of the country’s work force. They range from entry-level to professional, they live in urban, suburban and rural areas, and they often care for toddlers and teenagers. But the burdens of the pandemic-induced recession have fallen most heavily on low-income and minority women and single mothers.

Members of these overlapping groups often have the most unpredictable schedules, and the fewest benefits, and are least able to afford child care. They fill most of the essential jobs that cannot be done from home and, therefore, carry the most risk for exposure to the virus. At the same time, they make up a disproportionate share of the service industries that have lost the most jobs. The jobless rate is 9.2 percent for Black women and 9 percent for Hispanic women.

When the pandemic caused housecleaning jobs to dry up, Andrea Poe was able to find cleaning work at a resort in Orange Beach, Ala., about a 45-minute drive from Pensacola, Fla., where she and her 14-year-old daughter, Cheyenne Poe, had moved in with an older daughter, her fiancé and their five children.

The families were behind in the rent and threatened with eviction when Hurricane Sally ripped through the coast in September. To escape the floods, they piled into two cars, drove to Biloxi, Miss., and spent five nights in a Walmart parking lot.

Now Ms. Poe and Cheyenne, who has turned 15, are in Peoria, Ariz., living in a room in her mother’s trailer.

She said she was applying for jobs every day, so far without luck. And the bills keep coming. Ms. Poe has missed two consecutive loan payments on her car and worries that it will be repossessed.

“I’m just hoping my unemployment checks come through so my car doesn’t get taken away,” she said. “If I lose my car, I’ll never be able to get a job.”

Women with more resources are in a better position, but they struggle in other ways.

When the pandemic ripped through Seattle and compelled Kenna Smith, 37, to work from home, she initially saw one upside — a chance to spend more time with her 3-year-old son.

“At first, I thought I’d just focus on my child,” said Ms. Smith, who had just started a branding and design company, Wildforth Creative. “It was fun for a while, but then the stress was intense.”

Like many families who were worried about the risk of infection or short of money and space, Ms. Smith and her husband let their son’s nanny go. Her husband, project manager for a general contractor, worked out of their bedroom.

“I’m not sure why it totally fell on me,” Ms. Smith said of child care. “I’m out in the living room, dining room area with a whole bunch of toys strewn about, with my laptop, trying to run my business.

“I was wanting to work and wanting my business to succeed so badly,” she said. “I didn’t realize. …” She paused, interrupted by a voice: “Mommy, I want some applesauce.”

The couple recently decided to hire a part-time nanny, concluding that despite the expense, it was the only way both could keep working. (Ms. Smith’s sister is also helping out.)

From 2015 until the pandemic, women’s increasing participation in the work force was a primary driver of the economy’s expansion, said Ms. Stevenson, the Michigan economist. “It’s why the economy grew the way it did, why employers could keep hiring month after month,” she said.

Since February, women’s participation in the labor force has been falling, with the biggest decreases among women without college degrees who have children.

Changes forced on women by the pandemic elicit a mixture of anxiety and hope.

Many women worry that the changes will sharply narrow women’s choices and push them unwillingly into the unpaid role of full-time homemaker.

And the impact could stretch over generations, paring women’s retirement savings, and reducing future earnings of children now in low-income households.

“We are creating inequality 20 years down the line that is even greater than we have today,” said Ms. Stevenson, who was a member of President Barack Obama’s Council of Economic Advisers. “This is how inequality begets inequality.”

Yet there is also the possibility that the mounting pressures could create momentum to complete the unfinished project of fully integrating women into the work force by providing a system of family support — like affordable child care and paid parental and sick leave.

“I think we’re really at a crossroads,” said Julie Kashen, director for women’s economic justice at the Century Foundation and one of the authors of a new report on the pandemic and working women. “We’ve never built a workplace that worked for people with caregiving responsibilities.”

[swanlake1998]

Article: Lydia Abarca Mitchell, Arthur Mitchell's First Ballerina, Builds On Her Mentor's Legacy in Atlanta

Date: January 13, 2021

By: Cynthia Bond Perry For Dance Teacher

It is the urgency of going in a week or two before opening night that Lydia Abarca Mitchell loves most about coaching. But in her role as Ballethnic Dance Company's rehearsal director, she's not just getting the troupe ready for the stage. Abarca Mitchell—no relation to Arthur Mitchell—was Mitchell's first prima ballerina when he founded Dance Theatre of Harlem with Karel Shook; through her coaching, Abarca Mitchell works to pass her mentor's legacy to the next generation.

"She has the same sensibility" as Arthur Mitchell, says Ballethnic co-artistic director Nena Gilreath. "She's very direct, all about the mission and the excellence, but very caring."

Ballethnic is based in East Point, a suburban city bordering Atlanta. In a metropolitan area with a history of racism and where funding is hard-won, it is crucial for the Black-led ballet company to present polished, professional productions. "Ms. Lydia" provides the "hard last eye" before the curtain opens in front of an audience.

For more than 25 years, coaching at Ballethnic has been a lifeline back to Abarca Mitchell's days with DTH. She had a stellar career, both with the company and beyond, but left the stage at age 30 after an injury sustained performing in Dancin' on Broadway. Her husband's job transferred them to Atlanta, where she transitioned to a full-time job as a medical transcriptionist while raising a family. Now retired from her second career, Abarca Mitchell continues to forward Arthur Mitchell's legacy, not only through coaching but also by building community among DTH alumni and writing her memoirs—a fairy-tale story of a child who came from the Harlem public-housing projects and became a trailblazing Black ballerina.

Abarca Mitchell grew up during the 1950s and '60s, the oldest of seven in a tight-knit family. She always danced, taking cues from Hollywood figures until a fourth-grade teacher saw her talent and encouraged her to seek formal training. The family couldn't afford ballet lessons, but Abarca Mitchell earned a scholarship to attend The Juilliard School's Saturday youth program, and later the Harkness Ballet's professional training program. But for all of those ballet classes, Abarca Mitchell never had the opportunity to see or perform in a ballet production. She didn't understand the purpose behind ballet's tedious class exercises.

When the fast-growing Harkness Ballet moved its scholarship students to the June Taylor Studio on Broadway, Abarca Mitchell remembers hearing live drumming, clapping and laughter coming from the studio across the hall. It was a jazz class taught by Jaime Rogers, who'd played Loco in the West Side Story movie. Abarca Mitchell started sneaking into Rogers' classes.

When Harkness informed her that her scholarship was exclusively for ballet, Abarca Mitchell left the program. She saw no future for herself in the white-dominated ballet world, and focused on academics during her last two years of high school.

At 17, Abarca Mitchell met Arthur Mitchell. He had made history as the first Black principal dancer with New York City Ballet, which he had joined in 1955, and had just begun to shape what would become Dance Theatre of Harlem when he hired Abarca Mitchell in 1968. Within a month, she was back on pointe. Within two months, she was performing in Arthur Mitchell's Tones. "I didn't even know what ballet was until I was onstage," Abarca Mitchell says. "All of a sudden, it was my heart and soul."

Arthur Mitchell made sure his dancers saw NYCB perform, and subsequently brought Balanchine's Agon, Concerto Barocco and other NYCB works into the DTH repertoire. "Physically and emotionally, I felt the connection of jazz in Balanchine's choreography," Abarca Mitchell says. "His neoclassical style was just funky to me. I could totally relate."

For the first time, Abarca Mitchell danced with people who looked like her and shared the same aspirations, she says, with a leader who "saw us through his eyes of love and achievement."

In Abarca Mitchell's 30s, after a performing career that took her from DTH to the film version of The Wiz to Bob Fosse's Dancin' and beyond, her husband's job took their family to Atlanta. She soon connected with Gilreath and Waverly Lucas. The couple, also DTH alumni, were influenced by Arthur Mitchell's model when they founded Ballethnic, seeking to create access for dancers of all backgrounds to develop as classical dancers and perform a repertoire that represents the company's culturally diverse home city. Over time, Abarca Mitchell became a trusted advisor.

Abarca Mitchell goes in at least twice a year to coach Ballethnic's productions—such as Urban Nutcracker, set in Atlanta's historically Black Sweet Auburn neighborhood, and The Leopard Tale, which features the company's signature blend of classical pointe work with polyrhythmic dance forms of the African diaspora. These final rehearsals give Abarca Mitchell a way to fast-track the transfer of her mentor's values.

She recalls that Arthur Mitchell taught his dancers to present themselves at their finest—to enter a room with their heads held high and shoulders back—and to dress, speak and walk with dignity and self-respect. He reminded them that they were pioneers and ambassadors for Blacks in ballet. As the company gained international stature—Abarca Mitchell was the first Black female ballerina to appear on the cover of Dance Magazine, in 1975—he insisted the dancers remain humble and in service to the greater mission. But he was also a taskmaster. "No nonsense, no excuses," Abarca Mitchell says. "There was no slack. If he was rehearsing something that you're not in, you'd better be on the side learning it."

"He didn't throw compliments around at all. You had to really kill yourself to get a smile from him." After a run-through, she says, "you didn't want to be singled out."

Abarca Mitchell takes a slightly different approach, though she doesn't compromise on the values her mentor instilled. When coaching large casts of all ages and different levels for Ballethnic, she has found ways to inspire people without tearing them down. She calls it a "tough love" approach.

"I've got to make them want to do it. I don't want to beat them into doing it," Abarca Mitchell says. "I tell them, 'You're here because you want to be, and because you auditioned and were accepted. Now, show me why I should keep you here.'"

"I tell them, 'I'm here to make sure you'll look good—you know: 'That looks fake. Let's make it look real. Think about what you're doing, so that it's not just a gesture.'"

Arthur Mitchell instilled this level of emotional honesty in his dancers, and it was key to the company's quick success. "We were bringing a thought forward," says Abarca Mitchell. "We were bringing a feeling forward, so that the audience could connect with us."

In addition to her position as rehearsal director for Ballethnic, Abarca Mitchell is today part of 152nd Street Black Ballet Legacy, a group of DTH alumni who seek to give voice to people responsible for the company's success in its early years. "It's incredible," she says, "how many people took something from DTH and applied it to their lives."

As Ballethnic prepares to co-host the International Association of Blacks in Dance Conference and Festival in January 2022, Abarca Mitchell hopes to help strengthen the network of dance companies associated with Ballethnic, such as Memphis' Collage Dance Collective. "The dream is for all of us to collaborate with each other," she says, "so that it becomes more normal to see a Black ballerina, so it's not just a token appearance."

Today's young dancers face different challenges from what Abarca Mitchell faced. She finds that they're more easily distracted, and sometimes act entitled, because they don't know or appreciate how hard earlier Black ballerinas like herself worked to clear a path for them. But what she's passing on will benefit them, whether they choose to pursue dance careers or become doctors, lawyers, professors or something else entirely. "The principles are the same," she says. "Work for what you want, and you will achieve it."

[axwalker]

Tears in heaven 5: Move on

Synopsis: Alexis O’Brien is about to get married but memories of her old life are coming back to haunt her.

MASTERLIST

Pairings: Liam x MC Drake x MC (TRR)

Warnings:  NO ONE UNDER 18 should read this story. This is an 18+ blog. This story will deal with very dark subjects such as death, severe depression and suicide attempt (among others) if you’re triggered by any of those issues, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS STORY

To catch up: Masterlist

A/N: The story will go back and forth between three different periods of time (2010 / 2015 / 2019)

A/N: This is a filler chapter... I hope you enjoy it :-)

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Word count: 4,795

Songs inspiration: Tears in heaven by Eric Clapton

THANKS TO:  @burnsoslow​  for beta reading and correcting so many mistakes. I love you!

And to @pedudley​  your feedback gives me live!! I LOVE YOU BOTH! ❤️❤️❤️

May 2015

After spending one and a half months on Bastien’s couch, Drake had decided to get a job working on the docks. He knew that getting exhausted by the manual labor was the only way to get a few hours of sleep at night. He also became a regular customer at the local pub. Every day after work, he went and drank himself into oblivion. Many times during that month, Drake had thought of coming back to Cordonia, but every morning he decided to stay, paralyzed by the fear of her hatred. He was empty, a living corpse. His family was still present in his mind every single day with the same painful intensity, especially Tom, his little boy. His grief vacillated between a deep sorrow to a burning rage that consumed him more and more every day. He felt angry with anyone and everyone. More than once, he had picked fights in the bar trying to punish himself.

But that day it wasn’t supposed to happen. That day was supposed to be his last day in Andalucía. Olivia had called the night before and told him that Alexis needed him desperately, that she was destroying herself. He hung up to buy the plane tickets. In spite of what had happened between them that last day, everything that had been said and done, he needed to be with her. His judgment had been clouded by their last fight, but he understood now that he had reacted too fast, that she hadn’t been in her right mind. That they were meant to survive the pain together.

Drake barely remembered how all hell had broken loose. He knew he had drunk more than usual, anxious about seeing her again. He remembered that he had put his phone next to him, the phone with all the pictures of his son on it. He recalled that the man next to him had taken it and made offensive comments about Alexis, whose picture was the screensaver. He remembered the sound of his phone smashing when he had tried to get it back. Everything was blank after that. He had woken up in a cell with a black eye and a broken nose. Thanks to Alexis, he spoke Spanish quite well, so he understood the guards when they told him that the other guy was in the hospital due to a minor concussion. The lawyer that Bastien had gotten him, Alvaro Díaz, informed him that the other man was the son of a reputed local congressman. Mr. Díaz did everything he could, but the judge was a personal friend of the politician, so Drake had been sentenced to one year in prison. He had called Olivia and told her that he couldn’t come back without giving her more explanations. It was useless to tell them where he was and worry Alexis when she couldn’t do anything about it. He hadn’t been able to protect her from the pain back then, but he would protect her from that now.  

September 2010

Drake was making coffee for both of them. He was working the morning shift at the clinic, and Alexis had an early class. He could hear the noise coming from their room all the way in the kitchen. He smiled to himself. Alexis was always late and made a racket when she got ready. He took both their coffees to their bedroom. She was cursing in front of the mirror trying to apply mascara as she brushed her teeth.

He smirked at her, nodding his head towards her toothbrush, “The coffee will taste like crap now, Lexie.”

She tapped her forehead with her palm. “Shit! You’re right!”

He watched her look for her shoes all over the room until she found one under the bed and the other in the closet.

“What’s going on, baby? You seem more agitated than usual.” She was putting her tennis on quietly. He sat next to her on the bed.

“Hey, talk to me, Lex.” He placed his hand on her thigh. “What’s going on?”

She was going to wait until that night to talk to him, but he was her husband, her best friend. And he could read her like a book. It was better to get it off her chest now.

She bit her bottom lip. “I’m late.”

He laughed, taking her in his arms. “You’re always late, but your teachers always seem to forgive you, Lexie. Don’t worry about it.”

She shook her head no. “No, Drake. I’m late.” She gave him a knowing look.

Drake took a second, but he finally understood. He took a deep breath before he spoke. “Have you taken a test?”

“No. Not yet.”

“Do you have one?” he asked as he placed a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Yes - I was going to take it later, but I guess I’ll do it now.” She stood up and went to the bathroom after she took the test out of her backpack.

She came back to the room with the test in her hand and placed it on the table next to her bed. Drake took her arm, pulling her into his lap. For three minutes neither of them said anything, too nervous to talk. When the phone went off announcing the end of their wait, Alexis stood up and looked at the test.

“Well?” Drake couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer.

She barely nodded, still too overwhelmed to talk. He jumped off the bed and swept her off her feet. She looped her arms around his neck, roaring with laughter.

“You have no idea how happy you just made me, Lexie.” He steadied her with his arms and kissed her passionately. His heart was about to burst with happiness.

He cupped her face to kiss her again and noticed the shadow in her eyes. “And you? Are you happy about this?”

She honestly didn’t know how to answer. “I’m feeling so many things that I might explode, Drake. I don’t even know how this happened.”

“You do, Lexie. I told you it broke.” One passionate night after too many whiskeys, their condom had broken, but they had been too caught up in the moment to care.

She sat on the bed. “I don’t want you to think I’m not happy, Drake, because I’m ecstatic, but I’m also worried. I really wanted to finish school first, get my degree, get a job in a publishing house, write. We wanted to travel together and enjoy our married life. We’ve only been married for two months … And …” she sighed, “so many things.”

He felt guilty. She looked extremely young in her tennis shoes and a ponytail. Of course it was easier for him. He was 25, not 21. His seven-year degree was almost finished, and thanks to Liam, he had traveled all over the world. She had done none of that. He was dying to have a kid with her, but he’d wait if she wasn’t ready.

He sat next to her in the bed before affirming, “We’ll do whatever you need to do, baby. It’s your decision.”

She shook her head no. “I want to keep it, Drake. I’m sure of that. I’m just nervous … I guess.”

“Come here, baby.” He leaned his back against the headboard, and she climbed on top of him. He stroked her hair and her cheeks soothingly. “I get where you’re coming from, Lexie. Completely.” She nodded against his chest, and he held her tighter. He wanted to show her that he understood her fears and that they were going to face them together as a team.

He wasn’t a man of grand romantic gestures, but he loved her like crazy and knew her better than anyone. She needed to be reassured, she needed to know that she would still be able to fulfill her dreams.

“What if I call in sick and you skip school? We can spend the day together and talk about options.” He took her chin with his fingers, turning her face towards him. “But I want you to know that even if you have to stop for a semester, you’ll go back to school. I swear, Lexie. We’ll manage.”

She grinned at him. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

“I’m the lucky one, baby. I love you so much.” He kissed her, then he placed his hand on her lower belly and added, visibly touched, “I love you, too.”

Her eyes watered; her heart was so full it could explode. She was still a bit stressed about the future but not worried anymore. “We love you so much already - you have no idea, my little peanut,” she said, placing her hand on her belly as well. She yawned.

He looked at her, concerned. “Are you tired?”

“Remember when you told me last week that I seemed tired lately?” She looked down at her belly. “I guess now we know why.”

All his instincts screamed to protect her. He undid the covers and put the blankets over them; she snuggled against him. He wrapped her in his arms and leaned to kiss her forehead. “Sleep a bit, baby. I’ll be here next to you.”  As he stroked her face while she fell asleep, he thought about how happy he felt. He knew he had many joyful moments to come, but he had never felt so happy as he did right then with the woman he adored in his arms and their baby on his way.

April 2019

Alexis was deeply nervous about the party. She looked at herself in the mirror again, trying to ignore the knot in the pit of her stomach. It was going to be the first time in more than four years that the three of them were going to be together in the same place. She hated herself. Drake and Liam had been good friends all their lives, and now, thanks to her, they didn’t even speak to each other. If she hadn’t been so weak after his death, if Drake had come back for her, if Liam hadn’t helped her so much, maybe everything would be different now. She tried to put her lipstick on, but her hand was shaking; she was extremely anxious. She took a deep breath to calm herself. His return had opened too many old wounds. Too many memories that would have been better to leave buried. Especially at this time of the year when that dreadful date was approaching. She took another sharp breath and stopped her tears; if she thought about her son, she wouldn’t be able to leave the bed. With a steadier hand, she applied the rest of her makeup and went downstairs to meet Liam.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liam put on his cufflinks and his tuxedo jacket; the Beaumonts had decided to throw the most elegant anniversary party of the year. He poured himself a scotch while he waited for Alexis. As he sipped his scotch, he pondered his upcoming encounter with Drake; he was apprehensive about seeing him again. It was undeniable that he missed his best friend deeply. However, he was aware that there was nothing he could do about it anymore. As much as he hated the idea of Drake despising him, it was the price that he had had to pay for Alexis and he didn’t regret his life with her. After all, he had been in love with her for almost 10 years.

If Drake loved her as much as he claimed, he’d have to recognize that she was alive and well thanks to Liam. It had been Liam’s love and strength that had helped her to rebuild herself after Tom had died and Drake had left. Drake and Alexis weren’t good for each other anymore. That’s why he had given Drake her letter that day. He still felt guilty about it, but he couldn’t admit the truth - not if that meant he would lose her.

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Drake sat in his jeep waiting for Kiara; he knew she would be right there in exactly 10 minutes. She was always punctual, unlike Alexis, who was eternally late. That flaw had been the source of countless fights during their marriage. Conflicts that inevitably ended the same way: with both of them in bed being even later to wherever they were going. He wasn’t even that irritated by it, but he loved to tease her and see the fire in her eyes when they fought.

He sighed, wondering when he would stop comparing Alexis to any other woman he dated. It wasn’t as if he was still in love with her. It was just that Cordonia had brought back a lot of memories that he thought were forgotten. His thoughts inevitably drifted to Liam. He didn’t know how he would react when he’d see him again. One side of him wanted to demolish his ex-best friend. The other side was painfully aware that without Liam she would be dead. That side couldn’t help but to be grateful to Liam; he didn’t dare to imagine a world without Lexie in it. He saw Kiara leaving her house and got out of the car to open her door; he smiled to himself, thinking about how much Alexis hated that gesture.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alexis sighed, slightly irritated; she hated to wait until someone else opened the car door for her. It was a waste of time, but Liam was a genuine gentleman; he couldn’t conceive of not doing it, and she didn’t want to fight for something so futile. Besides, she was going to be the Duchess of Valtoria soon;, the earlier she got used to all the etiquette rules, the better.

When they entered the ballroom, the herald announced them. She hated the spotlight, but she wore her best smile and took her fiancé’s arm. No one could have guessed how uneasy she felt inside.

“Liam Fabien Rhys, Duke of Valtoria, and his fiancée, Lady Alexis O’Brien.” Liam took her hand, and they went down the stairs together.

Drake was nursing a whiskey at his table when he heard the announcement. His stomach did a flip at the herald’s words, but it was nothing compared to the moment when he saw them together. They looked perfect for each other. He was regal in a perfectly-tailored tuxedo. She looked … gorgeous. She was wearing a white dress that highlighted her tanned, soft skin. Her shiny hair was cascading down on one side of her elegant neck, as her full lips were tempting him with a deep shade of red. 

“I wish I could get some Bordeaux.” Kiara’s voice broke the spell.

“I’ll go to the bar and ask for a glass,” he offered, standing up, anxious to go anywhere far away from them.

Bertrand greeted them by himself; apparently, Savannah was occupied with other guests. Since Alexis had gotten engaged to Liam, Savannah had been polite but cold and had avoided the couple as much as she could. Alexis didn’t blame her; she probably would have done the same in her shoes. Francesco soon joined them, and their conversation turned to their negotiations with Italy and the Commerce treaty the country was signing with Valtoria. Alexis knew they could talk business all night long. She turned her head, a little bored, and there he was, next to the bar, sipping a glass of whiskey distractedly. Her heart skipped a beat. She blushed and turned her head back, immediately grabbing Liam’s hand; his strength was the only thing that could help her get through that hellish party.

Drake came back with a glass of Bordeaux for Kiara and a tumbler of whiskey for himself. Kiara looked around the ballroom, admiring the decoration.

She suddenly squealed, “Mon Dieu, Drake! C’est ma collègue ! Ça alors!”  (God, Drake, that’s my colleague. I can’t believe it!)

Drake liked Kiara. She was smart, warm and beautiful but that habit of changing languages every five seconds really unnerved him. He was going to ask what the hell she had said when she took his hand and dragged him to the center of a ballroom. Drake understood who she was talking about when it was too late. Before he could prevent it, Kiara tapped Alexis’ shoulder. She turned her head and went pale.

“Coucou, ma belle! (Hi, darling) I knew it was you!” Kiara hugged Alexis affectionately.

Alexis was unable to speak or move; Drake’s gaze was fixated on her, and Liam completely paralyzed her.

She barely heard Max scream, “Drake!” He hugged an unresponsive Drake, who was as numbed as Alexis. “Fuck, man! You look great! I missed our midnight talks, buddy!” Seeing that his three friends were still in shock, he extended his hand to Kiara, trying to dissipate the awkwardness. “Hi! I’m Max Beaumont and this is-”

“The Duke of Valtoria, I know. We translate a lot of documents for the duchy at the agency we both freelance for, n’est-ce pas, Alexis?” (isn’t it true?) Without letting her answer, she proceeded, “I’m Kiara Theron.”

“I’m charmed to make your acquaintance, Kiara.” Liam gave her a charming smile. Then he turned to Drake. “Hello, Drake. It’s been a long time.”

Drake looked at both of them contemptuously, his fists balling. “And a lot of things have changed since then,” he growled.

“Oh! You know each other!” Kiara exclaimed, excited that her date knew one of the most important men in the country.

Drake scowled, “We used to. A very long time ago.” Alexis lowered her eyes, blushing.

Maxwell was desperate to break the tension, so he decided to change the subject. “I don’t know if Sav told you, Drake, but thanks to Liam’s support, the Parliament passed a new law legalizing gay marriage. Rash and I are engaged!”

Drake grinned; if anyone deserved to be happy, it was Maxwell Beaumont. “Congratulations, Max. I’m actually very happy for you both.”

Kiara was curious; they had been working together for a year, but Alexis was extremely discreet about her personal life. “I didn’t know you were a noble, Alexis,” she inquired.

Drake snapped, “She’s not; she’s just marrying one.” No one missed the bitter tone in his voice.

Alexis squinted at him angrily before answering, “He’s right. I’m not. I’m as common as they come.”

Kiara understood that something extremely odd was going on, and she wanted to know what it was. “So, you know my boyfriend, too?”

Alexis felt a pang in her chest. Someone else was being possessive of him. Someone else was calling him her boyfriend. She swallowed before she could speak. “As he said, we did a long time ago.”

“Ki knows everything about my past. We don’t keep secrets. She knows I’m getting a divorce.” Drake was well aware that he was being an asshole, but it was driving him mad the way Liam had possessively circled her waist with his arm. “Alexis was,” he smirked at Liam, “well, she is still my wife.”

Kiara was a lot of things, but she wasn’t stupid. He had never called her ‘Ki’ before; it was obvious that he was trying to make his ex-wife jealous. They would have to talk; as much as she liked Drake, she didn’t want to get in the middle of something so complicated.

Maxwell tried to lighten the atmosphere again. “What kind of documents did you translate for Liam?”

Kiara and Liam engaged in the conversation, but Alexis and Drake didn’t exchange a word. She feigned interest in their discussion while Drake excused himself and left the group to talk to his sister. He couldn’t bear to be next to them another second. Liam gave Alexis a reassuring look. He hated to see her so anxious.

Soon everyone was dancing. Alexis felt safe in Liam’s arms. He was sweet and gentle and treated her like a princess. She needed his love, his protection, and she loved him back; she was sure of it. That’s why she didn’t understand why seeing Drake troubled her so much.

Drake sat at the bar alone while Kiara danced with Maxwell. When he was married to Alexis, he enjoyed dancing with her because she loved it passionately. Back then, just seeing her move and making her happy was incentive enough for him. But those days were gone. He didn’t dance anymore.

He leaned on the counter and took a swig of his whiskey. He was trying very hard to avoid looking at the dance floor, but it was stronger than him. He felt a mix of rage and sadness seeing them together, seeing the woman he had sworn to love forever in the arms of the closest friend he had had. Drake saw Liam glide her across the dance floor assuredly, and then lean his lips towards her ear telling her something that made her smile.

His heart broke a little when he saw her face. She tried very hard to hide it behind a beautiful smile, but it was obvious that she was suffering. All the makeup and fake grins in the world wouldn’t be enough to deceive him. He knew Alexis inside and out. She was still in deep pain about their son, but instead of accepting it, she was trying to bury her real feelings as deep as possible. He was aware that when something was too difficult for her, she chose to ignore it in the hope that it would disappear. In the past, Drake would force her to face it, to deal with it, but Liam had the same tendency to ignore what he didn’t want to see. It couldn’t be healthy for either of them.

Suddenly she raised her eyes and looked at him, too. They stared at each other intently, both of them feeling their hearts racing and their stomachs fluttering for a few seconds. Alexis shook her head, breaking the spell. She said something to Liam, and they went back to sit at their table. She sighed, exasperated at herself. She desperately needed to sign those divorce papers and never see Drake again. Liam was rubbing her arm absentmindedly while he talked to Francesco. That’s what she needed: Liam and a new life. Her marriage and her responsibilities as a duchess would keep her too busy to think. Drake should stay where he belonged, buried in the past.

She saw Olivia on the other side of the ballroom and decided to go and apologize for her outburst at Maxwell’s loft. She was about to reach her friend when the band started to play a song, their song. She hadn’t heard Crazy Love in five years, and she wasn’t ready to hear it now. So she turned around, trying to locate the nearest exit until she finally saw one. Once outside, she leaned against one of the walls of the gardens and sighed, relieved. In that moment, she saw Drake sitting on the stairs. She hesitated for a second, finally deciding to sit next to him.

“The song?” he asked. When she nodded quietly, he added, “It hit me too. I hadn’t heard it in five years.”

“Me neither; I can’t seem to be able to erase it from my playlist, but I never listen to it.” She sighed before adding in a low voice, “There’s a lot of things I can’t do anymore.”

He looked at her, and for the first time since he had come back, he saw a glimpse of the old Lexie.

“Same for me.” He gave her a sad smile. “I can’t stand watching Seinfeld anymore.” He sighed, thinking of all the Saturday mornings they had spent in bed making love and watching endless Seinfeld marathons.

“Indiana Jones.” She bit her bottom lip. “Even a commercial for it makes me anxious.”

“Stargazing.” The last time he had gone was with Tom and Alexis for her birthday, only a few months before his death. “And I haven’t read Mark Twain again,” he said carefully, aware that he was approaching dangerous territory.

Her breathing accelerated, but she forced herself to say, “I can’t say his name. I haven’t said it once since the accident.” Her eyes teared up.

His heart broke for her; he wanted to hold her and make the pain go away, but he knew he couldn’t. He had tried very hard in the past, in those few months they were together after his death, and it had been impossible.

He wiped her tears with his thumb instead. “You have to try and talk about him, Alexis. I know it’s horribly painful, but ignoring it won’t make it better.”

“Because living among his things like you do makes it better?” she snapped. “No, Drake. Nothing will ever make it better.” She couldn’t avoid crying any longer.

He circled his arms around her shoulders. “I know, Alexis. Believe me, I know.” His embrace had something extremely reassuring. He smelled as he had always smelled, of sandalwood and cut grass. His strong arms around her made her feel safe and nostalgic. She let herself go in his arms, crying for Tom as she hadn’t allowed herself to do for a very long time.

“I just miss him so much; it’s terrifying.” He kissed the top of her head but didn’t interrupt her; she needed to talk. “Sometimes I’m having a good day and then a small detail, like a firefighter’s truck in a movie, brings it all back. I feel like that first day when I got the news. The pain makes it impossible to breathe, to function.” She turned her head towards him; he was watching her with so much tenderness in his eyes that she felt compelled to continue, “That’s why I avoid saying his name or anything that could trigger a memory of him, of us.”

Drake frowned. “You can’t live avoiding everything, Alexis.” He paused; even if he wanted to know the least possible about her relationship with Liam, he needed to be sure she had someone to talk to. “Don’t you talk about him with … Liam?”

“No, I get too sad, and he worries too much about me.” She stopped, thinking about the other reason. “Besides, I feel disloyal-”

Drake stood up; he was fuming. “This isn’t about him, Alexis. It’s about you! And if he thinks that it’s disloyal talking about your own son, then he’s a bigger asshole than I thought he was.”

She stood up as well. Her eyes had tears of sadness mixed with tears of fury. “Who the hell do you think you are? You come here after five years to tell me and Liam how to manage our grief? I was going to say that I felt disloyal towards you, talking about our son with Liam. And I don’t even know why. I have all the right. He was the one watching me cry myself to sleep. He was the one comforting me night after night. Fuck! He was the one who saved my life. The worst part is that I wanted so badly to have you instead. To have your arms, your words consoling me. But YOU WEREN’T THERE. You promised you would always be there for me, and then YOU FUCKING LEFT!” She was so angry she barely realized she was shoving him.

He held her wrists to stop her, and the momentum pulled her close to him. The electricity between them was almost touchable; they were trembling with fury. Their hearts raced as their eyes sparkled with fire. 

“You know damn well why I left! Did you forget what happened? Because I sure as hell haven’t!” As he spoke, his face got closer to hers. He could smell her perfume, see her lips only a few inches from his. He let her wrists go and cupped her face, but she turned around.

“I know why you left, but I never understood why you didn’t come back.” She looked sad, broken.

He tried to approach her again, but she took a step back. “I know it took me long, Alexis, but I did come back.”

She shook her head; five years was too long, wherever the reasons he had had.

“Am I interrupting something?” Liam had stepped out to the gardens, looking for her.

“No, we were just talking, but there’s nothing else left to say. I was about to go back to the ball.” She walked towards the door, but Liam stood in the middle of the garden looking at Drake.

“Actually, Alexis, I would like to speak a moment with Drake. If he doesn’t mind.”

Drake smirked, “Of course I don’t, Li. Why wouldn’t I want to catch up with such an old and loyal friend?”

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[aal-archaeology]

Words from a so-far successful archaeologist (25 years old/recent Ph.D. admit)

Hello Everyone!  I have revived my Tumblr to find many messages asking “what do I do next” when it comes to Archaeology/Anthropology. So I thought I’d create a post explaining what I went through to get to where I am now, and hopefully give some information to those who are pondering on the next steps to take in this truly wonderful field of study.  Quick academic about me: 

Undergrad: Ivy League, Major: Anthropology-Geography, Minor: Religion

After Undergrad: 1 year of Cultural Resource Management (CRM) & Substitute teaching

Graduate School: England MSc in Archaeological Information Systems

After Graduate: 10-month long research grant in Cambodia

Now: (USA)  Ph.D. Candidate in Anthropology, Archaeology Track

I come from a low-middle class family, all of my academics have been funded through financial aid or through grants that I’ve applied for. A lot of the time school and research can get expensive, but that doesn’t mean you have to be wealthy to pursue it!

Per usual, please feel free to DM me at any point with questions (here or IG @ aal.archaeology), I’m always happy to help to the best of my ability. Success in this field is really dependent on networking!

I’ll set this up based on the various landmarks of my academic career: 

1. Undergrad

Themes: Ask for help, build your resume, write down everything

No matter where you are going to school, it is so so so important to use the resources around you. Becoming a professor is HARD work, and each one of your professors went through a lot to be able to stand in front of you and teach you. They’ve likely had years and years of research experience, which is probably still happening behind the scenes of teaching and grading papers. More often than not, professors want to help you, they want students to be excited about the research they’ve worked so hard on, and they want to do what they can to help you achieve your career goals.  Therefore, if there’s a class you’ve taken or a professor whose research you’re interested in, tell them. This is how I got my first experience with archaeology (before I even knew that I wanted to do archaeology). I randomly took an Anthropology class that sounded cool, and after the first class, I was like WOW I love this topic so much and I really want to know more about it. I went up to the professor that was teaching it, told her I was really interested and asked if she knew of any research opportunities available. She then hired me as a student researcher in her lab to do data entry for one of her archaeological projects in Mesoamerica, and after working for her for a few months, she asked me if I wanted to go with her and her team to Mexico for fieldwork. 

         (my timeline at this point: 19 years old, end of Sophomore year)

From this experience, I learned how to apply to grants within the University and funding outside of the University, and was able to FULLY fund my research experience in Mexico. During this fieldwork, I got to work with 3000-year-old artifacts, do archaeoillustration, and eventually got my own chapter published in the book that my professor wrote about the research that was done.

After I got back from Mexico, I started exploring archaeology further. A new professor entered the department who specialized in “digital archaeology,” and his research involved tracking looting patters in Syria using satellite imagery. I thought this was crazy so I then went up to him and asked if I could help him with his research. (the common theme throughout this entire process is just asking for help). From this experience, I learned that I loved the possibilities that technology brought to the study of archaeology, everything from 3D modeling to identification of sites in satellite imagery to spatial mapping in GIS. With this professor, I was able to form an “internship” with him, and continued doing that and other minor projects within the department. I ended up modifying my major to incorporate coursework from the Geography department and created my own “Digital Archaeology” major.

        (my timeline at this point: 22 years old, Senior year)

As graduation began to creep closer, I had been able to get a good amount of lines on my resume. I had:

research assistant/ data entry

fieldwork in mesoamerica

x2 internships with digital archaeology prof

multiple “small” projects around the department i.e. making posters, painting 3D prints of bones,

all of the coursework I had done on GIS/ relevant digital experience

started a drone club at my school (it flopped, but it still counts as a line on the resume!)

All of these lines became useful when starting to think of jobs and the “next step”

UNDERGRAD HIGHLIGHTS & TAKEAWAYS:

Ask for help, your professors are there for a reason, it will almost always lead you to new opportunities. These relationships last well beyond your graduation and definitely come in handy later, make it count!

Write down EVERYTHING that you do. Did you help out with a conference? Write it down. Did you do a couple hours of data entry? Write it down.

Follow your leads! I started my anth journey in Mesoamerica and ended my undergrad in Near Easter digital archaeology (and I entered college wanting to do astronomy?). Change is natural, let it happen.  

2. Gap Year Between Undergrad and Grad School

Highlights: Job applications, field school, CRM, uncertainty

Something that I was always told during my undergrad was that you really need to do a field school and some CRM to be taken seriously post-grad. This shows that you actually want to be an archaeologist outside of the classroom environment. Field Schools and CRM give you valuable experience such as: excavation methodology, report writing, grant applications, teamwork, leadership, etc. 

I started applying for jobs probably about 5 months before I graduated and ended up securing a job at a CRM company in LA. They liked how much I had done during my undergrad, but they really wanted me to have a field school under my belt before I started working for them. Because I had already graduated and didn’t need course credit, I was able to do my field school at a discounted price (these things really do get expensive, and this was a difference of about $2k). I think this worked out in my favor waiting until the summer after I graduated because it saved me a lot of money in the end. 

After my field school was done, I started work that September in CRM. This job ended up being nothing like what I thought it would be, to be honest. I was an Archaeological Field Technician that was part-time/on-call, meaning I only got work when they needed someone to go monitor a construction site. I only got work once every month, sometimes every couple of months, so I was making hardly any money. I realized this quickly and decided to become a substitute teacher to supplement the CRM job. I HIGHLY recommend doing this if you end up in the same situation. Not only does subbing fill up all of your non-working days, but it also gives you the flexibility to choose when you can work and gives you teaching experience that you can put on your resume. That CRM experience can be really important, so it’s good to stick it out long enough to quit.

      Why didn’t I like CRM? For me, my job was very sparse, included driving long hours to a construction site, sitting there all day in case archaeological material popped up, and then driving home. Sometimes it was just walking back and forth across a massive field full of cow poop looking for arrowheads, and often it felt like I was just clearing land so that a big building could be erected. I was really missing the research component to all of it. The pay was also not great. 

GAP YEAR HIGHLIGHTS AND TAKEAWAYS:

What I got from this year was very valuable, even though it wasn’t necessarily that fun, however. 

I got the experience I needed in CRM

I got some teaching experience (also volunteered to mentor clubs and research at local high schools during this time)

I started doing some networking (I found some alumni that were doing work that I wanted to be doing and reached out to them)

and most importantly, I realized that I really do love school and wanted to go back for my Masters

So I started looking into Masters's programs. This is kind of a scary thing especially in the US because school is expensive. I still really wanted to do Digital Archaeology, and I couldn’t find a single program in the US had a focus in this topic, and especially couldn’t find one that I was willing to pay for. 

The UK, however, had plenty of Digital Archaeology programs, and the programs were only a year long and a fraction of the price in the US. I decided to take a chance and apply, got in, and then suddenly I was moving to England. (in hindsight I really didn’t spend much time at all making this decision, but it worked out in the end). 

3. Masters Program

         (my timeline at this point: 23-24 years old)

I chose the program I applied to based on its focus on the techniques that I wanted to use, namely, remote sensing, GIS, and 3D modeling. I really wanted a degree qualification that spoke for itself, and therefore applied for an MSc in “Archaeological Information Systems.” 

I had done some networking during my gap year and connected with an alumnus who was doing research in Cambodia using digital methods, and she offered me the opportunity to join her fieldwork. I agreed to join her in Cambodia during my degree, and also applied for a research grant for the year following my master's degree to continue fieldwork in Cambodia. 

I used this opportunity to fuel my dissertation topic and focused all of my writing and coursework throughout my grad school experience around Cambodia. While I was surrounded by people studying Roman architecture and Medieval Studies, I spent my time doing independent work and building a network in Cambodia. 

This program was a great experience for the most part, I was surrounded by beautiful medieval architecture and had a great community throughout. I personally didn’t really like the UK school system compared to what I had received in the US, however. This was largely because of the way coursework was set up. (If you want to know more just DM me).

MASTERS HIGHLIGHTS AND TAKEAWAYS:

Follow networking opportunities, and find someone doing what you want to do (or close to it) and let them help you take the steps to get there

If you’re going to do grad school, do it in something you know you love. Don’t waste money on a program that isn’t right for you.

Make sure that the program you apply to allows for flexibility so that you can do research on what YOU want, not what THEY want.

Halfway through my Master's degree, I received word that I had been accepted for the research grant (Fulbright) and would spend the next year living in Cambodia doing independent research.

4. Gap Year Between Masters Program and PhD

If you’re planning on a Ph.D., I think its a really good idea to do something before applying that relates to what you want to be studying. This shows that you’re dedicated to your research and to a life in academia, and have the ability to produce something from your work. 

My master's degree was nice because 1) it was short, only a year-long, and 2) allowed me to focus research on what I was interested in. This gave me the experience I needed to lead into a year of independent research.

This year of independent research was definitely contingent on receiving the grant in the first place, and I think that I would have started job searching again had I not received it. However, the small things I did leading up to applying for it really helped in qualifying me to receive it. 

     I had:

All of the undergraduate research experience

CRM experience

teaching experience

fieldwork experience

a master’s degree that focused on the region 

established a network of people in the country beforehand

a couple “publications” from fieldwork 

This grant fully funds me living in Cambodia, and has allowed me to participate in cultural exchange with some amazing people here in addition to allowing me to partake in archaeological fieldwork across the country. 

Again, I cannot stress enough how important it is to network. If you like something, find someone else who likes the same thing, send them an email.

Networking got me my experience in Mesoamerica, Digital Archaeology, my CRM job, my research experience in Cambodia, and so so much more. All because I sent that first email.

5. PhD Applications

I applied to 1 school. I got in. Its a really good school. I’m still in shock. 

However, I think I really did set myself up for success in this one. 

The biggest advice I can give in the world of Academia is:

NETWORK

Talking to people who have gone through what you’re going through are the BEST help. They can mentor you through these experiences, offer you new opportunities, or lead you in the direction of someone else who can help.

PLAN AHEAD (but be open to change)

Okay, so you’re applying to grad school. What do you want to focus on while you’re there? What do you want to do with the degree when you’re done? Do you want to start working? Do you want to do more research? What opportunities are out there for research funding? What is the job market looking for? Is there anyone in my network that can help me get there?

None of these have to be concrete plans, they just have to exist in some shape or form so that you have the ability to latch on to one when the opportunity arises.

If you’re doing something that you love doing, you’ll find a way to make it happen. All opportunity comes from the amount of effort you put into getting it! Thanks for reading and best of luck on your studies! Also Happy Anthropology Day! :)  -Lyss 

[goldiesugar]

Jobs for Sugar Babies: Part Two

If you didn’t read the first part of these series, this is about the jobs especially made for people who love the luxury life like us, so I felt the need to write about the best suiting jobs for sugar babies, either aspiring or veterans, or whatever.

This time I’m going to be talking about working as a private jet flight attendant.

Let’s start by saying private flight attendants earn from 2 to 8 times more than commercial flight attendants. Basically, salary for commercial flight attendants is roughly $48,500 annually, while corporate air stewardesses earnings are much higher at $57,000 or $60,000 for those who know languages.

Other benefits may include health and life insurance, uniform and laundry expenses as well as internet service. Accommodation and transport are provided down-route and sometimes also at base, depending on where the aircraft is primarily based. Contracts may be short-term from 6 months to one or two years. But they tip very well. Very very well.

Let’s get into the interesting parts.

Every successful VIP Flight Attendant should possess the following skills and qualities:

A can-do attitude and pleasant disposition

Excellent personal presentation

Cultural awareness

Flexibility and diplomacy

Strong work ethic

Good interpersonal and communication skills

Ability to work independently and under pressure

Corporate flight attendants are required to sign confidentiality agreements, meaning you  are unable to discuss current and former clients by name. Careful with social media and what you share.

Working as a private jet flight attendant is stressful due to the incredible amount of uncertainty and unknowns— always. The hours in the corporate sector are long, and you could work anything from 3 to 21 hours a day. You need to be very adaptable because many flights are last minute. Time off may be down-route or at base, but it is usually limited and dependent on the VIP’s schedule.

Time is a luxury that private jet flight attendants do NOT have— especially when it comes to planning for an upcoming trip. More than two days notice for a contract corporate flight attendant is a gift and detailed passenger preferences or requests makes the job so much more simple. With everything always changing and so many unknowns always occurring, the stress is real.

“The stress never goes away, you just become better at managing the stress.”

But being a private jet flight attendant is definitely more fun. You work on a one-on-one basis with the passengers, and you usually get to know them and their needs pretty well. The job is also a lot less mundane than that on a commercial flight. You never know what requests you’ll need to accommodate or where you’ll be flying off to next.

A private flight attendant’s ‘uniform’ usually consists of a blue or black chic suit with a blue or white dress shirt.

Some VIP Flight Attendants work on rotation, where they are scheduled 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off or a month on and a month off, but this arrangement is rare. Freelance VIP Flight Attendants do not work to a schedule and work on demand on a daily basis.

In addition to travelling around the world and dining in nice restaurants, some employers reward their flight attendants with gifts. Cash tips are also common.

The qualification you’ll be required to have are a high school education and a minimum of 2 years working as cabin crew in a business class or first class cabin. A degree in hospitality management, languages, leisure and tourism management or travel can help, but it’s not compulsory. Culinary training or work experience in a 5-star environment is desirable or the person must be skilful in culinary arts.

After all, not only are you responsible for serving Michelin star plates, but also commonly in charge of finding, arranging and transporting food to the take-off airport. Such skills as the one of a sommelier are also highly appreciated in the industry.

Apart from that, VIP crew must be acquainted with food safety and correct food handling techniques. No travellers, including CEOs, multibillionaires or pop stars, want to get sick because their beluga caviar wasn’t opened or stored the right way.

To be fully eligible to work as a private flight attendant, you are required to pass a medical and be fully vaccinated. You may have to provide 2 copies of your passport and apply for the appropriate visas. References from previous corporate operators will also be required and proof of initial cabin crew training.

Private jet flight attendants have more in common— job wise— with yacht stewardesses than with commercial flight attendants.

Be aware that requirements may vary depending on the preferences of the jet owner/ passenger. These may include additional language skills, specific age range and passport/visas. For example, a passenger or owner may specifically ask for female flight attendants aged between 25-35, of a specific nationality that speak English and Russian. Languages count as an extra advantage with English, Mandarin and Russian being the most in demand. Nevertheless, the truly crucial traits are versatility, knowledge and just shier devotion of a person.

Sadly having such strict requirements is very common in the industry and can lead to a certain amount of age and gender discrimination.

Being a private jet flight attendant allows your creativity to flourish. At the airlines, you are boxed in by rules on what your nail color is supposed to be and how you should wear your hair. Doing the bare minimum to get by receives the same compensation as delivering exceptional service; with no probability of changing that.

As a corporate flight attendant, your job is never secure. Also be aware that a million other girls would kill for a private flight, and you are lucky to be there. Treat the job like it’s a gift and that if the flight you’re on was your last ever, ‘How do I want to remember it?’ Do I want to walk away from my job, knowing that every day I ALWAYS invested my best or do I want to just show up to earn a wage? The choice of how you live, and thus how you are compensated, is up to you.

To find a job, you will need to visit the plane operator’s career website directly via email as advertised on a careers website or through personal recommendation. A complete job application will need to include a copy of your most recent and up-to-date CV, one full length and one head and shoulders photo.

Keep in mind the owner may be a high flying tycoon, celebrity, politician or a VIP family. You may work on a state of the art Global Express, Gulfstream G650 or much older model. It is an unusual role because you are the chef/personal assistant/safety specialist/waitress and cleaner, but this is also what makes it exciting because there is never a dull moment in the job.

Depending on the company, social media can be an absolute no-no and photos shared with aircraft tail numbers— as this is essentially the equivalent to a client’s home address— are never allowed. It’s a secretive industry, but for those who are in it, many have flown the same celebs, with the same pilots, and have juicy gossip or passenger details that no one would know unless you were “in it.” It’s kind of funny the way it works. Private aviation is an incredibly small world. Know how to live in it well.

So the road to becoming a VIP flight attendant could be basically summed up in three words – learn, learn and learn. And if you work hard enough you are more than likely to get a call from a private jet operator offering you your fantasy spot.

It’s part of the flight attendant’s job to set-up the cabin to the exact specifications of the client, while also anticipating what the client might want. Oh— did I mention that private jet cabin attendants also strive to exceed clients expectations by adding thoughtful touches to the in-flight experience? Yep— it’s an entirely different world than commercial aviation.

If you wanna know more about the perks and disadvantages of this job, Saskia Swann documented her experiences in a book titled Gulfstream Girl: Confessions of a Private Jet Stewardess.

To your success,

~ Bleuet 💸💖  

[stumbleintothesun]

Life Rant

For the few people in here...sorry lmao this is long as hell.

Lately I've been feeling like...garbage. I know there's no one on this place that really follows me, so this is me posting to the void.

I have been dealing with a lot of health issues related to my mental health and weight. I've gained nearly twenty pounds in a year, and no matter what I do my weight doesn't budge. I work out regularly, Ive been trying to eat better but...my only thought is its because I'm working a desk job now - which I fucking hate with a fury. And I know my weight isnt the end of the world - it just really, really fucks with my mental health. I've always felt ugly. The only time I didn't was when I was super thin which I know is problematic - and I know that's part of my mental health...like my aunt died from an ED. And my mom definitely had/has an ED even if she's gotten much better about it in the past few years...

And I'm finally getting my face to clear up after wearing these masks for a year - a year! But I'm still dealing with the healing process and I'm anxious it will scar. I've worked this entire pandemic at a job I *hate* just to you know, finally pay off my student loans just go back to school so maybe I can do something I love. But even at 25 and providing for myself, I hardly got any financial help. The only thing saving me is my grades that got me a decent transfer scholarship.

But the first school I applied to wanted my high school transcript, even though I have an associate's degree, and because I'm, frankly, stupid I somehow missed that they needed it. So they threw out my application that I spent an otherwise four hours writing for.

So I'm going to Eastern, which frankly will be better for my mental health, but they don't have a tuition free program. So I'm going to have to borrow money after just finally paying off my single year at a liberal arts college debt that I took on when I was 17 (it ended up being like 30k to pay off). And it's all because I didn't fucking read right. So much for being a good student, I guess.

But it wouldn't have mattered because they would've hardly taken any of my classes despite most of them being from down the road and for an associate's degree! And even Eastern is giving me a hard time, despite my degree they say I don't have the basic level biology course - my degree is biology focused! I'm going into ecology! I have taken genetics, conservation biology, anatomy and physiology, cellular biology but I don't have intro bio? So now I have to test out, on top of working full time. Which is fine, its a good refresher...I'm just so overwhelmed with life right now. I have a stack of over 100 flash cards and I'm just anxious.

This is a year after my partner went through an ugly break up with their old fiance (we were poly), and their ex was an abusive POS who once told them if they came out as anything other than their assigned gender, he wouldn't date them anymore. He gaslit them constantly, made them feel like hell. So we finally got out, but he wanted the house they got together or 10k. He made over double what they make - and he always forced them to pay half the bills, including half of his fucking protein bullshit because it was "groceries." He knew they didn't have the funds. Because our friends are amazing, we were able to buy him off but he left the house trashed.

It fucking sucked, and they were also responsible for getting his name off the house which meant a refinance that we could hardly afford. We got lucky we were able to do it, but they hardly got anything back for it. And it was a *nightmare*. We finally got it done, after pulling teeth and it took six months. Four months longer than they said. And that entire time they were forced to occasionally reach out to him, their old abuser.

Finally we were free, but then I started having further issues at work. Between the pandemic, and working in a heavily red area during the election, I cried a lot. I work in customer service and while I make okay money for the industry, I'm constantly burned out. My colleagues are okay, but it feels stupid to leave just to find a job for three months to go back to school. Then I started being short in my drawer (I'm a teller at a bank). The final straw was being short $500. Now I'm on a work plan, and if Im short again, I'm out. And it's my fault. I don't know how it has been happening. So now I'm always on edge at work, triple checking everything. And I could leave, I could get another job but there's no promise I'll make what I do now, and in order for me to pay for the chunk of school I need to, I have to put away a certain amount every month.

I do have a grant of sorts for 5k per semester to help with bills, which will alleviate a lot once August arrives. And I know I'm crazy lucky to have that. So sometimes I feel like such an asshole about it. But we have a house to pay for and bills to pay. Just like everyone else. Ugh, I don't know.

I talked to my doctor about my weight, came in with calorie intake numbers and how much I work out with zero change. I cut out pop entirely from drinking it every day. Nothing has helped. So we switched my meds from Lexapro to Wellbutrin to see if I lose weight because of that. Nope, just having more mental break downs, steady weight, and my resting heart rate is abnormally high, stopping me from making a little extra cash donating plasma. So now I'm switching back to Lexapro with nothing gained other than. You know. Feeling like shit. Next up? Birth control coming out of my arm. Don't really need it anyway. And maybe that will help? But I don't think so. I'm not sure what to do.

I am genuinely trying to be healthy, eating more whole foods. More veggies. More home cooked meals. I love to cook, I'm just tired. And sometimes the air fryer and oven baked frozen foods are too easy to pass up. I'm trying to always eat breakfast. I'm working out again, we have a gym membership but there are so many men there and I dont always feel comfortable, because my partner has been anemic and they can't go yet. So I use our bike in the living room and do home workouts.

But when I did this last time there was zero change in weight or anything. Even when I ate really, really clean for three weeks and worked out for most days, tracking calories and everything. Nothing changed. My thyroid is fine, we've already checked it. I'm just tired.

This past year, other than being with my partner has fucking sucked. And this doesn't even cover all the shit they've dealt with with switching to they/them and a name change. I love them so much, and love that they are finally comfy but their parents were assholes about it. And that matters. It does, and I get it. I just wish I could help them more. I wish we had a break, a breather for longer than a day. Even then I can't relax, I'm too on edge. There's too much to be done. I need to earn money, I need to clean, I need to focus. I need to be productive in some way to justify if I'm not working on those things. It's...all dumb.