#in case you can't tell it's the 90s
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selfportrait27 · 1 month ago
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Ween are terrible TV presenters and it's strangely endearing.
Videos featured:
R.E.M. - Star 69
Ween - Push th' Little Daisies
Jayhawks - Blue
Wax - California
Letters to Cleo - Here & Now
Soul Coughing - Down to This
Todd Snider - Alright Guy
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grassbreads · 9 months ago
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The more I linger on it, the more I think this might be the most subtly unhinged thing in all of SGRS. What do you MEAN you dated for eight years and never told each other your real names???
Miyokichi talks after the breakup about how she was putting on a "professional front" with Kikuhiko. As a survival technique, Miyokichi tends to make herself into whatever she thinks the man she's with wants from her, and in this case, that means she presented herself as her idea of Kiku's idea of a "good woman" for a full eight years while they were together. She probably would have tried to go on like that forever if he didn't break things off.
Yet at the same time, I think she's rightfully upset on some level that Kiku never looked at her more deeply. We see very little of their relationship, only the beginning and the very end, but given what we do see, it seems like Kiku never quite stops holding Miyokichi at arm's length. He goes along with things and initiates some level of closeness (like leaning into her when he's upset during the rain), but he doesn't push her to get more intimate.
Kiku looks scared when Miyokichi talks about dying during their breakup, he defends her personhood to his master, and he wants to bring her back to Tokyo with along Konatsu and Sukeroku when he finds them, so it's not like he doesn't care about her at all. But while he treats her his own version of decently, he never tries to get to know her on a deeper level. He doesn't take initiative to look for who she is behind her front for him.
(Personally, I'd blame his disinterest in knowing her largely on his own fear of being known, but we don't have time to get into that right now).
The problem with Miyokichi's frustration with being taken at face value, though, is that she doesn't know Kikuhiko's real name either. She most likely never asks, just like Kiku never asks hers. I think she falls in love with the idea of dating Kiku as much if not more than she falls in love with him. He's safe and well-mannered and very handsome, and I think his distant coldness is a comfort to her on some level because neglect, though an unhappy business, is what she has experience with.
Miyokichi likes the idea of ~being the woman~ and supporting Kiku emotionally. I'm sure she encouraged some playact of emotional intimacy between them. I'm sure they found comfort in each other in a very real way sometimes. But, if she got to know Kiku too well, she would have seen things about him she didn't like. Could she have truly known him without knowing he didn't love her the way she wanted? She never quite looks deeper to see whether he's really the type of man that she needs him to be.
I think Kiku is a bit more at fault for the dysfunction in their relationship overall. Whether or not he was ever properly attracted to or in love with her, he's quite clearly an inattentive boyfriend to an egregious degree. Who the hell goes traveling for an extended period without saying a word to their partner?? But he's not the only one that lets their partner pretend to be something they're not.
Kiku and Miyokichi are both very talented actors. Boyfriend and Girlfriend are roles that they're both playing. They're the happy heterosexual couple! Miyokichi seems to latch onto Kiku in large part for the sake of her safety (and because she doesn't know how to exist without a boyfriend in her life). And however much pleasure he may or may not get from Miyokichi's advances, I think Kiku stays in the relationship with her at least in part out of a sense of social obligation. She's beautiful and hitting on him. Young men are supposed to have girlfriends. He's encouraged to date to get experience for his rakugo. Is saying "no" even an option?
But because they're both playing roles, because they're both invested in Doing A Relationship as much as they're invested in each other as individuals, both of them skim along the other's surface. Neither of them ever volunteers to tell the other their real name, and apparently neither of them ever tries to ask. They spend eight years together, but those years are spent dating the personas of Kikuhiko and Miyokichi, not daring to look at the people underneath those masks.
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starpros-sunshine · 3 months ago
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You know. I'm part of the fraction "to each their own and let people handle their lives however they see best fit". But I do feel the need to say that I have seldom seen such an idiotic assumption as that breaking up with someone four days before someone's birthday when you also want that someone to do something for their birthday even though you know you and your soon-to-be-ex will both have to be there won't end with that person just not doing anything with anyone for their birthday. Partially because nobody wants that kind of awkwardness after a fresh breakup and also because the soon-to-be-ex has the lovely habit of wallowing in self pity and making everything about how they have it so bad. You know I just think in such cases you should've waited a week with the breakup. I don't care how much you want to fuck that other guy but I really think you should've waited a week.
#delete later#sigh why always me...#can't somdone else get the complicated people for once#annoying#the soon-to-be-ex complained today in the group chat that nobody wouod ever go to a pub with him#when that is literally not the case#we would all go? he just never asked? and anytime someone else wants to go party or jusz out 90% of the time the answer is no?#I've known that guy for 13 years now and somehow it just does not get easier#like? anytime someone else asks him it's always “no i don't want to” but then you complain about how nobody would want to do anything#the call coming from inside the house is all I'm saying#'' oh but I couldn't go anyways I wouldn't fit“ ''why? nobody cares about random strangers thats usually not how people work''#'' thats not true'' ''they literally don't care though.'' ''not when that person looks 13'' ''yeah no they still literally wouldn't care''#''they would'' ''they wouldn't. people never do. why would they make an exception for you?'' and then no answer to that#because you can't argue against that anymore without having to confront the fact you're wrong#but then I'm getting told im not empathetic enough#i know i lack empathy I'm aware but I do make an attempt for serious situations. i just don't think stuff like that is serious.#especially when i once mentioend i think my father thinks I'll end up living off of state wellfare and become a disappointment#and the only reply to that was ''how did he arrive at that really likely assumption?'' my brother in christ do not complain to me about lack#of empathy I'm not the one telling people their fears of becoming the family disappointment are well founded and realistic#I'm not even going to excuse that through some ''oh autism'' stuff like no thats just tactless and mean#or all the condescending comments whenever i go out to ''party''#it's just drinking with some people i know it's not really partying#but I'm not the one looking down on people for experiencing stuff#contrary to popular assumption I'm actually really cool and i know that. that's why people ask me to do stuff with them.#because i don't say no 99% of the time and then complain that nobody would ever want to do something with me when that's just plain wrong#i also totally get why she wants to break up#how do you actively refuse to meet your partners friends for half a year and expect that to not become an issue.#how do you actively say you're not interested in doing anything for your partner and expect that to last#how do you whine about being a bad partner but never attempt to do better#i wish i could defend him here but i can't that dude is a horrible boyfriend
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falesten-iw · 3 months ago
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Warning: Long Post No one reads long texts anymore, but despite everything I've been through with my country, my family, and recently my son, I need to get this off my chest. It's completely unbelievable to me that so many people still don't understand the background of the genocide in Palestine. What kind of journalists or influencers do we have today? Are they too afraid to report and remind their audiences about the real story behind what's happening now? No, it's not just one year of suffering! It's outrageous how the media consistently ignores what Palestinians have been enduring for decades. Have they, or you, even bothered to look at the statistics of how many Palestinians have been killed by Israel since 1948? How many children have been killed? Who holds the responsibility for what's happening now? I often wonder: what if the situation Palestinians face was applied somewhere else? For example, what if, after World War II, the West had decided that all Jews should have a state in the USA—let’s say Chicago—how would the people of Chicago have reacted? Imagine the people there being driven off the land their families had worked for generations, stripped of their rights, and harassed or persecuted if they resisted. Do international laws simply not apply when ### is involved? Do you know that people in Gaza are killed simply for fun? Yes, for fun! Israeli soldiers have been known to shoot women, children, and even animals on the spot, then walk away. Did you feel the wind when those shots were fired? Or was it too far away for you? Do you understand what death means? Good. Do you know why there are so many Palestinians living in different countries, or maybe even right next door to you, even though they smell like hummus, garlic, za'atar, and other traditional foods? Do you know why your neighbors are Palestinian and not Israeli? It's because we've been forced to flee since 1948. Our cities were erased then, and more are still being erased—through violence, through apartheid laws, through genocide, through different methods. Ilan Pappe, an Israeli historian, wrote a book about hundreds of Palestinian cities that were erased to create the Israel you know today. This isn't a war that started a few days ago or even a year ago—this has been going on since at least 1948. More than 45,000 have been killed in Gaza just in the past year alone. 17 000 of them are children, and 13 000 are women. Do you even know what that means? How it feels to lose your children or part of your family? Are you going to tell us how it feels? Do you have no empathy? Is your heart so closed that you can't see the pain around you? Are you really so blind to the suffering of others? How can you ignore these realities? Do you know that the Israeli military has cut off all electricity and completely halted the import of food, water, fuel, and other necessities? There are no hospitals and no medicines left, and 85% of people in Gaza are living in makeshift tents. Yes, tents—but not like the ones you see in movies. These are handmade from plastic scraps. Do you know that my family is suffering from all of this, and I will lose them in this cold weather if you don't act now? Please help us and donate now!
Vetted and shared by @90-ghost: Link.
Verified and shared by @el-shab-hussein: Link
Listed as number 282 in "The Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser Spreadsheet" compiled by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi : Link
Listed on the Butterfly Effect Project, number 957: Link
Additionally, Al Jazeera News has documented apart of my family's case: Link
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big-sis-milly · 23 days ago
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Mom who grew up in the late 90s/early 2000s and still uses emoticons, ending her texts in O.o's and ಠ_ಠ's, showing you her sketchbooks filled with edgy pseudo-anime style doodles of angel girls and foxes and creepy teddy bears with too many stitches and sharp teeth with a fond, yet equally embarrassed smile on her face.
Mom who finds her old scene outfits while you're out and decides to try some on as a joke, she says they fit surprisingly well, if not a little more snug than she remembers. You come home to find your mom in torn black shorts, a faded Gir t-shirt, as well as fishnets on her arms and legs. Additionally, it's far tighter on her than she realizes herself.
You would never tell her, but your heart began beating like crazy when you saw her like that. She looked absolutely stunning, not to mention dreadfully— alarmingly sexy. In fact, you quickly found yourself very much in need of somewhere to sit down and hopefully hide the scandalous tent growing in your skirt. Still, she seems to have been drinking since before you got home so she's not very attentive anyhow.
Wow, she's hammered tonight. Must be some midlife crisis thing you don't get, not that you're complaining. You should be complaining, but you aren't. There are multiple moments you find yourself ogling your mom, staring at her ass when she bends over or being nearly hypnotized by her tits when she tries to do the caramelldansen. You think you're in for a long night.
After a while she settles down next to you on the couch, watching the show you put on with a loopy half-grin stuck on her face. You forgot how snuggly she gets when she's drunk, but as long as you have your blanket everything should be all right.
Of course, things started to get a lot more stressful when she suddenly placed her head on your lap, nearly pressing her nose right against your girlcock. Uh, did she pass out? That would be the best case scenario, but you can't really be sure from this angle. Plus there's no way you're moving, that could risk unwanted contact with your crotch. But, the thought of your girlcock rubbing up against your mother's face... no, no! You're trying to get out of your head until you hear a long, quiet inhale from your mom. Your heart felt like it stopped when an equally long but much louder moan escaped her lips on the exhale.
You've never heard her make that noise before. You could feel your heart melting into a puddle between your thighs from the sheer sudden eroticism on display, finding yourself less and less concerned about the consequences when her huffing turns into nuzzling. Jesus christ she's literally nuzzling your bulge. She can't still be asleep right?? Is she testing you? Teasing you? Your entire body feels electric, you know you can't stay still forever, especially if she keeps this up. You adjust to try and make yourself at least a little more comfortable, but hear your mom stir awake. Holy shit, was she actually sleeping?!
"Mmmgh, ah, sorry honey, I guess I-" She trails off, seeing how hard you are up close. "Oh."
You try to squirm away while apologizing profusely. How could you let her see that? You're an awful daughter, a perverted loser who can't even-
"No, no no, it's okay! It's okay, you're fine, j-just breathe, okay? Can you do that for me baby?" Your Mom says, desperate and drunk, holding your arms lightly. Her directions to calm you down actually help somewhat, and she lets you scoot away into the corner of the couch so you can cover yourself again.
You and your mom sit there for a while, neither of you sure what to say. Mom eventually clears her throat, looking everywhere but you.
"I think I need to confess a few things, haha." She chuckles jadedly, looking disheveled and red in the face as she reached out to put a hand on your thigh. It makes you jump a little, but the warmth is so comforting, it almost feels right that your mother's touching you this way. But that can't be possible, this has to be wrong, if not... then you could've been doing this for years now. Uh– what? N-no, that's not right...
"Ever since you started hrt, I could tell from your laundry that you began to smell different as a girl. I know I'm an awful mother, but your scent drives me up the fucking wall kiddo. I've tried... I masturbated to your bra a week ago, just to see if it would pass. It only made things worse, so- nggh, fuck, why did you turn out so good~ It's not fair that you're my daughter~"
This is a lot of information she's just dropping on you, the only thing you can do is stare wide eyed behind your pillow. Wait, uh, what does she mean by that last part?
"Ughh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying this, but... you're kinda my type. I've seen the changes during your transition happening day by day and I could tell, even early on, that you'd be absolutely irresistible to any lucky kid who wanted you. It made me jealous. Things would be so much easier if you weren't my daughter." You could see the conflicted look on her face when she said that. You don't know why, but you think you share the exact same feelings. And so you ask:
What if we pretended?
Your mom looks surprised, like she wasn't expecting you to suggest something like that, it's obvious she was a moment away from saying the exact same thing. She scans your expression, the nervous, blushing, beautiful little girl in front of her, just to make sure this is something you want to do in the first place. She can sense the quiet, excited anticipation in your eyes. God, what did she do to have such a wonderful daught- ah, s-stranger! With no relation to her! Yup yup, totally fine, just two non-familial people... Hm...
"If you're okay with that, sure. This'll just be a one time thing, I promise." She says reassuringly. "Just lay back and let mo- let me take care of you. Um, may I?"
You nod, nestling back into the couch a little. Your mother— or, uh, this very nice woman— carefully removes your skirt, letting your gock spring from your panties. She tries not to swoon, but you can see her half-lidded eyes already memorizing every tiny detail.
"Absolutely beautiful." You hear her mutter, her lips just barely brushing against you, breath warm and agonizing until she wraps her mouth around the tip of your girlcock. The way she swirls and flicks her tongue across your glans makes you shudder, the yelp that escaped your throat is cut short by your hand clamping over your mouth.
It feels exquisite, the semi-fancy term fitting due to the obvious experience this woman has performing oral. You don't think you've reached this pitch of moan ever, with anybody. Best not to think about it!
Every noise you make only seems to entice her more, shoving you deeper down her throat with every bob of her head until her nose is touching your tummy, the only thing you're able to do is writhe in place and try not to pull her hair too hard. Doesn't seem like she minds all that much though <3
You let her know through quivering lips that you're about to cum and she relents, albeit begrudgingly. She can't help but smother your gock in sloppy kisses right after, the sensation keeping you frustratingly close to the edge. After a beat she stops suddenly, backing off a little and brushing a few strands of hair over her ear.
"Gosh, I uh, maybe got a little carried away at the end, haha! Sorry sweetpea, my little girl's just too delicious~"
Your face turns even redder, she hasn't used that nickname for years now, she probably thought you grew it of it. You instinctively push your thighs together, whining as you decide whether or not to tell her. Did she even notice she said it in the first place? Maybe you could excuse it if it was an honest mistake? She probably knows what she did anyways, no need to rub it in. It's fine. It's fine! Oh, is she saying something?
"Honey, can I get on top of you?" The woman said, panting and making an expression just short of puppy dog eyes. "I'm sorry. I need more. Just a little more, please?"
You barely have time to process what she just said before she's straddling your lap, only her rolled-up shirt and her fishnets remain on her body. Her boobs squish against yours, though she's a lot more developed than you are. The mere touch of her cunt to your gock makes you both jump, but she's not putting it in. She's waiting for you with that same look on her face.
You've found yourself going very far into a decision that could have dire consequences. Despite this, you can't help but lose yourself in her eyes, impatient and pleading, but forcing herself to stay still out of pure love for you. She must really want you, huh? No, she's probably just imagining someone else, it's just your scent she's attracted to right? Yeah, that's all this is. Nothing more. After this one hiccup, everything should go back to normal!
"Baby? Sweetie, a-are you okay?" Your mother's worried voice snaps you out of whatever thoughts you were having, and only then felt your own tears on your face. Why are you crying again? So stupid. You try to convey your thoughts to her, but you not knowing why this is happening yourself isn't helping, not to mention breaking down even further from the overwhelming amount of thoughts swirling about your head.
"God, I knew this was a bad idea," she mutters before returning her attention to you, "I'm sorry babygirl, we can stop, I shouldn't have-"
No, no no no. Finding the courage, you reach out and place a hand on your mother's waist, making her gasp as you lift your hips to meet hers and fully insert yourself into her completely soaked pussy. She latches onto you in surprise, wrapping her arms fully around your head as she pulls you close and practically howls with pleasure, her gorgeous tits smushing against your face. You've never heard your mom moan like that before. Or, no, your- ohh fuck your mom's cunt feels so good~ fuck it, it doesn't matter, you can't hold it back anymore. With your hands roaming every inch of her body, you unbury yourself from her tits and cry into her ear, "Mommyyyy~"
There is an immediate noticeable effect on your mom from the utterance of that word. You feel her tighten up hard, her cute little noises oozing with guilt. "Aah~! N-no sweetpea, we- ghh, have to pretend or, or- ngohh god." She almost sounds frustrated at how flustered it made her, losing her ability to think as you start moving inside her, like her brain cells are being killed with each thrust <3
As you start getting closer and thrusting harder into her, less and less words are spoken, gradually replaced with purely animalistic grunts and moans as you two feverishly rut each other. Of course, aside from the occasional groan of the other's name. Neither of you care about the bullshit façades you desperately tried to put up anymore, you need your mommy and she needs her daughter, more than anything in the entire universe.
Your orgasm quickly sneaks up on you, and it seems like hers is too. As you and your mom start arrhythmicly fucking each other to climax, she meets your gaze, mouth agape and eyes hungry. She kisses you, and you gladly returned the favor. You and your mother plead and whine into each other as you both cum, hard. You're pretty sure you blacked out for a second. It was everything you secretly dreamed of. Neither of you want to leave, so you stay inside her as you and your mom lazily make out on the couch for a while, cum slowly leaking onto your lap.
As you both break the kiss, she nestles into your shoulder, whispering "Thank you, thank you, thank you," over and over again. You can't help but say it back. So many aspects of her remind you of the nervous cringy teen she used to be, but you prefer her like this. Perfect, in every way.
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quinnfabrayapologist · 2 years ago
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#getting real fucking sick of this job i haven't even started yet#it's an agency job and teaching related so should be perfect for me (a phd student who wants to teach)#but the guy who is meant to be pairing me up w jobs is just so bad at it#i was like 'this HAS to be part time i cannot do full time bc i am doing a phd'#and he was like 'yeah np i can totally get you part time'#and then he gave me my first job last week and said it was part time only to tell me it was full time the next day so i had to say no#which he got an attitude about#and then he's gotten me this job which he also said was part time#it's cover teaching so i go in when someone calls out sick#and this is actually worse than full time bc if i take this job i can't make plans bc i apparently have to have 24/7 availability for it#so i could end up working 0 hours but need to keep the whole week free just in case#or i could end up working full time hours anyway#and he said there would be an interview and gave me the info today#it is a full day of work#that's not an interview#i'll get paid so like... at least there's that#but it's minimum wage#barely#bc i'm getting £90 for the day and working 9 hours which works out at 10 an hour and the min wage is about 9.50 an hour for me#so now my choices are going into the 'interview' AKA FULL DAY OF WORK and being like 'heyyyy so i can only do part time'#and looking like a knob as i try and negotiate a day or two per week where they don't call me in#or just... not going? after i already turned down one job from this guy and the school has said they're expecting me#i mean maybe if i do the inconvenient job now i'll get a better one later#but if i get hired as a permanent cover teacher w this place that won't happen#and i have another job that i'm waiting to hear back on that starts inn february and is only 2 days a week#but if i have to be on call for this one that's not possible any more#but i can't turn down this job on the basis that i might get a better one#but he's also throwing me in front of not 1 not 2 but 5 whole entire classes of 30ish teenagers on day 1#so 150 kids at various levels of education#which... i've never done anything like this before
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harmoonix · 10 months ago
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🍄 Retro - Astro 🍄
(Astrology Observations)
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ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯
🍄 - I love to stare in the eyes of the natives with Neptune - Asc aspects, most of my friends have such aspects and they truly have beautiful eyes
🍄 - Pluto in Sagittarius Generation is really meant to give and normalize things back to normal, and for example bringing things that were used in the past and to normalize them again
🍄 - Wanna know why so many Aquarius Suns may act so different and unique? Sun is ruled by Leo and Aquarius is its opposite sign so sun acts different in Aquarius
🍄 - Neptune and Mercury aspects can indicate love for music and most times for old music or old music style, you know liking those songs from the 90's
🍄 - One fast way to learn your sign houses in your birth chart is to know the order of the zodiac signs, this method worked with me for example you have Gemini Rising and Leo Sun > Your sun will be in the 3rd house because Leo is 1 sign (Cancer) apart from Gemini
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🍄 - 8°, 20° degrees on the Midheaven attract jealousy really fast, envy too and sometimes can even get hate without a reason, on the other hand people can become obsessed with them
🍄 - Sagittarius in your 4th/12th house axis can come from more nationalities/ethnicity/race like having more than 1 background country ancestry (or your ancestors/family members)
🍄 - Lilith in your 9th/12th or 4th house can indicate ancestors or family members working with the occult/witchcraft/magic/tarot etc...
🍄 - Sun in the 12th house natives have an ongoing karma, basically they are working on their karma constantly
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🍄 - Virgo Moon's beauty is underatted, they are so beautiful and they can actually look younger because of the Mercury's youth effect
🍄 - I remember once checking on google about Jupiter in Virgo husband (my sidereal Jupiter placement) and I got this:
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I can't tell if this is real or not tbh 😭😭
🍄 - Neptune aspecting Chiron will literally empower your subconscious with a lot of intuition, spirituality like you really have the chance to heal your subconscious in case is hurt with those placements
🍄 - Everyone I know with Cancer Placements gets so DEPRESSED based on the weather, and omg I'm not joking or something if the weather outside is bad they're gonna be depressed or in a bad mood
🍄 - Every time I see someones chart with 10th house placements especially Sun and Venus there I know they got the cash bag 💰💰
🍄 - Not gonna lie knowing how organized Virgo placements are, I think natives with Virgo in the 4th house have the most most most most most most organized house-castle ever just like in Cinderella and everything looking perfect
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🍄 - You can spot health problems in a chart by looking at their 6th house sign (both in tropcial and sidereal) looking at the ruler/lord of the 6th house and of course the planets (if there are) in the 6H house
🍄 - Stelliums play a very big role in a chart (A stellium is when you have 3 or more than 3 planets in a house) and indicates a big focus in that area
🍄 - Empty houses play a very big role as well, and an empty house is not a bad thing or something but spirituality talking it indicates an area you already completed in your past life
🍄 - Let me tell you how tricky Venus in Capricorn can be to make you fall in love with matured enough people and sometimes the karma comes and strikes and says "They're not the one for you"
🍄 - Moon in the 9th house is another tricky placement to have because in harsh aspects it can indicate a religious trauma and sometimes it can indicate love for religion/beliefs you understand what I mean...😭😭
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🍄 - A lot of people who happens to get betrayed have Pluto/Saturn Lilith and sometimes Neptune in the 11th house, (I know all the people can get betrayed but these are just some indicators
🍄 - Sagittarius/Jupiter in the 11th house can be blessed with friends or in general having luck with their friendships and social networks, sometimes their friends can come from a different background than them
🍄 - Mercury at 10°, 22° degrees really can have a deeper voice than others (depends on aspects) but their voice is so damn attractive
🍄 - Uranus and Lilith in the 5th house can get confused if they will want or not to have kids like is difficult and in the same time draining for them (Lilith in general in that house natives don't want kids but is just my thoughts on it)
🍄 - Sagittarius Midheaven/Midheaven in the 9th house or in Sagittarius Degrees 9°, 21° really need to chose something the job/career they're passionate about because it grants them luck
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🍄 - Midheaven at Aries Degrees 1°, 13°, 25° or MC in Aries have a big chance to get a leader position at their job or having the main character energy
🍄 - I tell you Gemini Moons and Moon in the 3rd house natives have the best tea ("Tea" as a gen z slang means gossip) like gossips stories i honestly wonder from where or who they know so many things im so invested y'all 😭😍
🍄 - 2nd house and the Moon Sign represent food in the birth chart, and I know water/earth ones love sweets so much
🍄 - If you want to know more about your true self check your Ascendant ruler persona chart, AND if you have 2 planets rulers check both persona charts for ex if you are Scorpio Risings check your Mars and Pluto persona charts, sadly for Leo Risings their natal chart is pretty much their true self (There is no Sun persona chart😭)
🍄 - Leo in the 7th house can have the same problem like your natal chart pretty much tells you about your future spouse because there is no Sun persona chart to look for in case you wanna look for your 7th house ruler persona chart 😭
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🍄 - Cancer Risings in your D9 (vedic) chart can indicate a nurturing spouse or in general your partner has a very nurturing and kind energy
🍄 - I admire 6th house Placements for how much they want to keep themselves healthy like is a top priority and i respect that so much, because your health matters so much in life ♥️♥️♥️🙌🏼
🍄 - Aries Placements especially Aries Juno I love their energy. They just give that leader and confident/powerful vibe (boss vibe) in the chart also someone very bold and funny I love them
🍄 - Draconic Chart is the chart of your soul before reincarnation/coming to earth and the placements are indicating how your soul expected to be on earth (like their life), and im gonna cry I have Saturn in the 7th house in this chart as well. my soul knew I will have to wait for that specific person to come 😭 I'm done...
🍄 - Mercury in the 11th house makes socially open natives they get along so good with most people because of their social skills, they're also smart, creative and very open minded too
🍄 - Pluto in the 12th house has a chance to become very powerful in this life because this placement usually indicates an painful karma, you will certainly experience a lot of good and bad things in your current life
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💝 This post was more like at a spiritual level 💝
Be blessed you all who read my observations 💝
ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯
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bogleech · 5 months ago
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If people are talking about how concerning it is for their country to be getting more openly repulsed by all displays of sexuality and how dangerous that is. it is really, reeeeally not appropriate to respond like "I get why that sucks but I don't like sex and it's craaaazy how obsessed people are I can't even watch TV without it shoved in my face!!"
It's fine to not like sex but what are you even talking about, media is so Christianly these days I can't even tell what's supposed to be horny anymore. I think if you lived through the 90s you would explode. Every commercial break had big titty ads. Magazines and billboards had naked people with just their genitalia and nipples strategically covered up. Most sitcoms revolved around people trying to fuck.
You could just watch exclusively children's cartoons, but I really don't find a big difference between them and the current sterility level of most mainstream adult fiction. Maybe you mean anime, which is definitely still pretty horned up, but I think what you're really noticing in that case is that a lot of anime just generally sucks
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wlwmedarda · 4 months ago
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I'm honestly just looking to rant and this might be long depending on how fast I get irritated the more I type so if this isn't coherent or well written I apologize in advance. Since it looks like Ambessa will take on a more antagonistic role in arcane season two, I would like to unpack the fandom's antiblackness that you guys are either blind to or aware and too pussy to call it out as my gut is telling me it's gonna increase and if no one is gonna start the difficult conversation then I sure as hell will.
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Sevika:
Mel:
Starting off strong with the definition of "you guys want complex female characters but can't even handle her". Mel Medarda is in quite the predicament seeing how she's morally grey, a black woman, AND "gets in the way" of a mlm ship so she was kinda screwed from the start. A cunning politician disowned for her pacifism who acts as a sort of bridge to Noxus' slow introduction, and is THE ONLY CHARACTER IN THE SEASON 1 MAIN CAST SPECIFICALLY CREATED FOR THE SHOW. She's treated like satan incarnate or a Jezebel (highly suggest looking into that if you don't know what that is), GOOD character analysis is rare, and when she is talked about positively, it's so often chalked up to appearances that I'd rather yall not talk about her at all. Oh you love Mel? Then can we talk about her relationship with her mother? Unpack her dynamic with Jayce? Maybe more fanworks centered around her? I've seen yall's fake asses dropping the shittiest fucking takes about her only to turn around and gush over how pretty she is, and yall think you're slick about it and you're not. I would say I prefer the ones who are loud and proud about their hatred but that'd be a lie, they're two cheeks on the same ass; annoying and couldn't give a decent break down of her character if a gun was pointed at they head even she's perfect to dissect. I could talk about her more but we'd be here all day and so many black women even from outside the fanbase have already talked about yall so there's no need for me to add on 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️.
Quick question, have you guys ever tried to talk about her in a non sexual way? Yes, Sevika is undeniably sexy and you could argue that true stans of hers talk about her outside of horny time, but a good half of the fandom is a different story. In a similar case to Mel's, deep dives into her character are rare to find which is crazy when she acts as Zaun's own "kingmaker". She's loyal to her city and the cause, never to a specific person and will not hesitate to betray you. She could be your right hand man one day, and the next she might find a better kingpin to follow and stab you in the back like it all meant nothing. "Were you tempted?" "Not for a worm like him". Simple and subtle and probably my favorite Sevika scene; she comes to realize Silco is no longer the best leader for Zaun, but he's as good as it gets for now and so she sticks by him. I remember a YouTube comment breaking down how she's essentially the quintessential Zaun: a brute warrior molded by her environment, who defied Vander's peaceful ways and embraced Silco's cruelty. Her mindset and goal is interesting and you'd think it'd result in some fascinating meta or exploration of her upbringing when we got a hint that she potentially has some daddy issues right? Obviously, but what do we get instead? White sapphics treating her like nothing more than a sexual object. How delightful!
Ekko:
This might partially be Riot's fault because — and I hate to sound like a league lore nerd — Ekko is quite underdeveloped compared to the richer origins of his former pre arcane self, but I'm gonna hold off on that till the season finale to see how they handle him. Anyways, at this point the fandom clearly sees him as Jinx's trophy husband. When you talk about him, she is brought into the convo 90% of the time. That's exactly why I prefer black timebomb shippers over the nonblack ones because I trust they actually love Ekko as a character on his own. Even though I have my complaints regarding how's been written so far, I still know he's too good to be reduced to Jinx's loverboy. He fights and cares for his city, the only character that you can confidently say is pure of heart, and is the revolutionary leader Zaun really needs. He's just as smart as Jinx too, he is literally going to create TIME TRAVEL. Why does no one wanna talk about that? Can we be excited for his character development and arc not just for the timebomb scenes you'll get out of it?
Ambessa:
Can't even deny this woman is awful but her presence on screen enthralled me after a couple of rewatches and I also love bad mothers in media so I've settled on a love/hate relationship. Yes, she's definitely gonna have some influence on Caitlyn, which makes sense since she has now lost her mother; she's vulnerable and as we have seen, naive. She's practically free real estate for Ambessa. My recent worry though has been how the fandom seems to be willing to put all of Caitlyn's actions on her as if Cait isn't a grown ass woman who can make her own decisions. Of course being grown doesn't mean you're immune to manipulation, but I've seen some Silco and Jinx comparisons and it is NOT the same. Mind you we haven't even seen the first three episodes; we don't know how far Ambessa's manipulation is going to go and we can't really tell what the dynamic is gonna be like based off of clips and trailers that are likely shown out of context on purpose to throw people off. I'll never defend her actions, hell I'll join in on the lashings, but my black ass is also not gonna sit here and let yall talk about her weirdly or pin all of this on her.
Some might say I'm overthinking this, but I've been here since November 2021 and have sat back and observed for 2 years. You don't have to write deep, philosophical conversations 24/7, I'm sure it's not all in bad faith and I won't act like I don't thirst over Sevika or marvel at Mel's beauty. I'm not saying you have to like these characters and that you're racist if you don't. My frustration comes from the lack of nuanced conversations and hypocritical opinions surrounding black characters in this show. When you try to say something about this, you're hit with excuses; it reminds me of how man obsessed fujoshis act when they're questioned for not giving two fucks about female characters. They're either reduced to one character trait, only admired for their looks, or only discussed when it's about the white character they're connected to. Do NOT under ANY circumstance be black and morally ambiguous, you WILL be held to higher moral standards than everyone's wittle blorbos who can do wrong and are defended from all sides when you dare to take the rose colored stan glasses off and criticize them. What's really ridiculous is you hear the "complex characters" bullshit every two to three business days and some of you have the nerve to boast about this series being diverse while simultaneously ignoring the complexities in the characters of color. This is the main reason I took a step back and with season two around the corner I thought "Hey, maybe it'll be better this time!" and it was a mistake. Good to know yall still have an underlying racism problem you don't wanna address but with some extra classism thrown in. "What will we do once Arcane ends?" hopefully get a job, touch some grass, and reflect. Lord knows yall need it. The faster yall sizzle out the better. I'm done that's all I have to say lol goodnight 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽.
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iatrophilosophos · 19 days ago
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Hey I'm hearing uh. More, and more, and more buzz about GLP-1 agonists like ozempic from random ppl and healthcare providers alike and there's like a terrifying lack of lucidity abt it so I just wanna say, if you've heard some stuff and are curious:
Ozempic is a chemically-aided crash diet. That's it.
Like metformin, an older diabetes medication used off-label for weight loss, it's functioning as an appetite suppressant in this use-case. It's not magic; it's not changing how your body makes or uses fat; it just makes it less miserable to eat less. It is contraindicated by histories of disordered eating and should absolutely not be prescribed without a full screening for above-adequate food intake and nutrition *and* ongoing screening for adequate nourishment/malnutrition: this is broadly not happening.
I've also seen no indication that ozempic/GLP-1 agonists are any less likely to lead to weight cycling (w/o constant use) than a straight crash diet, or do anything meaningful to limit the known, significant health risks of weight cycling.
Nothing has changed:
The main things we know from a western scientific perspective about weight and weight loss are that 1) almost all people who lose significant weight gain it back and 2) weight cycling causes cardiovascular and metabolic health complications. Yall we aint even have strong evidence to suggest that weight loss is beneficial to health conditions associated with higher weights. This *should* point to Dr's never ever reccomending weight loss (we do know it can hurt, don't know it can help) but yknow we live in uhhhh fucking world.
We are possibly ripe for an aggressive intensification of anti-fat medical rhetoric, especially in pediatrics
Among the projections for an RFK FDA that ive gotten from folks i know in these fields is a renewed focus on childhood obseity and general military-style fitness. As the ozempic fad has already been ramping up, I'm kinda! concerned! about this being a major point of focus for the oncoming administration--i figure we're ripe for another mass diet craze associated with a wide variety of deaths anyway and that existing cultural+market inertia added to it being literally on the agenda spells some not great things. I really seriously reccomend paying extra attention to this area.
Clinics love ozempic because it's extremely popular and extremely profitable--i even know someone who's job was threatened for refusing to prescribe it. We already know that we cant trust doctors to be informed around weight or for the system to sound public alarms.
Obviously, people have the right to do whatever they want--but the disclosure just isn't there and people are being sold this stuff based on the idea it'll make them *healthier* and prevent disease. It can't and it won't.
If the claims here about weight in general are new to you, start here: (Don't love the title of the article, second the exasperation)
If you want to understand more about glp-1 agonists specifically, like, start with the Wikipedia article and do some googling it lays out the pharmacology in relatively plain language. Sry i ain't doing a buncha work to find citations ppl won't click; there's not a lot of good critical stuff out there that's actually published but it doesn't actually take a lot of reading up on critical weight science to form a critical take on the sources singing ozempics praises.
Peace, good luck, do whatever you want forever, maybe tell ur mom that this isn't any different from the disastrous weight loss fads of the 90s.
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anim-ttrpgs · 10 months ago
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Help Save the World of TTRPGs and Their Creators.
Okay I’m being a little dramatic, but at the same time I’m pretty serious. This is a call to action, and the livelihoods of myself and lots of other people, many of them (like myself) disabled, are depending on it. This is a post about why, what you can do about it, and (perhaps least often answered) how.
This post is actually an accompaniment to another discussion by someone else. If you don’t want to listen to a 90-minute in-depth discussion of much of what I’m about to tell you, you can just keep reading. Otherwise, click here or here and listen to this either before or after you read this post. (They’re the same thing, just different sources.)
If you have ever made or reblogged posts urging people to switch from Google Chrome to Firefox, you should be willing to at least give a try to other TTRPGs besides D&D5e for much the same principle reasons. I’m not telling you you have to hate D&D5e, and I’m not telling you you have to quit D&D5e, I’m just asking you to try some other games. If you don’t like them, and you really want to go back to D&D5e, then go back to D&D5e. But how can you really know you won’t like other games if you have literally never tried them? This post is a post about why and how to try them. If you’re thinking right now that you don’t want to try them, I urge you to look below to see if any of your reasons for not wanting to try them are covered there. Because the monopoly that WotC’s D&D5e has on TTRPGs as a whole is bad for me as a game designer, and it’s bad for you as a game player. It’s even bad for you if you like D&D5e. A fuller discussion of the why and how this is the case can be found in the links above, but it isn’t fully necessary for understanding this post, it’ll just give you a better perspective on it.
If you’re a D&D5e player, I’m sure at some point or another, you’ve been told “play a different game”, and it must get frustrating without the context of why and how. This post is here to give you the why and how.
[The following paragraph has been edited because the original wording made it sound like we think all weird TTRPGs suck.]
Before that though, one more thing to get out of the way. I'm going to level with you. There’s a lot of weird games out there.
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You are gonna see a lot of weird TTRPGs when you take the plunge. Many of them try to completely reinvent what a TTRPG even is, and some fail spectacularly, others really do even up doing something very interesting even if they don't end up being what a core TTRPG player wants. But not every indie RPG is a Bladefish, lots and lots of them are more 'traditional' and will feel very familiar to you, I promise. (And you might even find that you like the weird experimental bladefish type ones, these are usually ideal for one-session plays when your usual group can't play your usual game for any reason.)
You're also going to probably see a lot of very bad games, and man have I got some stories of very bad games, but for now I'm just saying to make sure you read the reviews, or go through curators (several of which will be listed below), before you buy.
Now that that is out of the way, I’m going to go down a list of concerns you may have for why not, and then explain the how.
“I don’t want to learn a whole new set of rules after I already spent so much time learning D&D5e.”
Learning a new set of rules is not going to be as hard as you think. Most other TTRPGs aren’t like that. D&D5e is far on the high end of the scale for TTRPGs being hard and time-consuming to learn and play. If you’ve only played D&D5e, it might trick you into thinking that learning any TTRPG is an overwhelmingly time-consuming task, but this is really mostly a D&D5e problem, not a TTRPG problem as a whole.
“D&D5e has all of these extra online tools to help you play it.”
So what? People have been playing TTRPGs without the help of computers for 50 years. To play a well-designed TTRPG you won’t need a computer. Yes, even if you're bad at math. There are some TTRPGs out there that barely even use math.
“I’m too invested in the narrative and characters of my group’s current ongoing D&D5e campaign to switch to something else.”
There are other games, with better design made by better people for less money, that are the same kind of game as D&D5e, that your current characters, lore, and plot will fit right into and do it better. And no, it's not just Pathfinder, there's others.
“I can’t afford to play another TTRPG.”
You probably can. If you’ve only played D&D5e, you might have been made to think that TTRPGs are a very expensive hobby. They aren’t. D&D5e is actually uniquely expensive, costing more than 3x more than the next most expensive TTRPG I can think of right now. Even on the more expensive end, other TTRPG books will cost you no more than $60, most will cost you less than $20, and a whole lot of them are just free. If you somehow still can’t afford another TTRPG, come to the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book club mentioned below, nominate the game, and if it wins the vote we will straight up buy it for you.
(By the way, if you had any of the above concerns about trying other games besides D&D5e, that really makes it sound like you are in a textbook abusive relationship with D&D5e. This is how abusers control their partners, and how empires control their citizens, by teaching you to think that nothing could ever get any better, and even though they treat you bad, the Other will treat you even worse.)
“If I don’t play D&D5e, which TTRPG should I play?”
That’s a pretty limited question to be asking, because there will be no one TTRPG for everything. And no, D&D5e is not the one TTRPG for everything, Hasbro’s marketing team is just lying to you. (Pathfinder and PbtA are not the one system for everything either!) Do you only play one video game or only watch one movie or only read one book? When you finish watching an action movie like Mad Max, and then you want to watch a horror movie, do you just rewind Mad Max and watch it over again but this time you act scared the whole time? No, you watch a different movie. I’m asking you to give the artistic medium of TTRPGs the same respect you would give movies.
“I want to play something besides D&D5e, but my friends won’t play anything else!”
I have several answers to this.
Try showing them this post.
If that doesn’t work: Make them. Put your foot down. This works especially well if you are the DM. Tell them you won’t run another session of D&D5e until they agree to give what you want to do at least one try instead of always doing only what they want to do. This is, like, playing 101. We learned this in kindergarten. If your friend really wants to play something else, you should give their game a try, or you’re not really being a very good friend.
If that doesn’t work, find another group. This doesn’t even mean that you have to leave your existing group. A good place to start would be the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club which will be mentioned and linked below. You can also go to the subreddit of any game you’re interested in and probably meet people there who have the same problem you do and want to put together a group to play something other than D&D5e. You might get along great with these people, you might not, but you won’t know until you try. Just make sure to have a robust “session zero” so everyone is on the same page. This is a good practice for any group but it is especially important for a group made of players you’ve just met.
“I only watch actual plays.”
Then watch actual plays of games that aren’t D&D5e. These podcasts struggle for the same reasons that indie RPGs struggle, because of the brand recognition and brand loyalty D&D5e has, despite their merit. I don’t watch actual plays, or else I would be able to list more of them. So, anyone who does watch actual plays, please help me out by commenting on this post with some non-D&D5e actual plays you like. And please do me a favor and don’t list actual plays that only play one non-D&D5e system, list ones that go through a variety of systems. The first one I can think of is Tiny Table.
“I can just homebrew away all the problems with D&D5e.”
Even though I want to, I’m not going to try and argue that you can’t actually homebrew away all the problems with D&D5e. Instead, I’m going to ask you why you’re buying two $50 rulebooks just to throw away half the pages. In most other good RPGs, you don’t need to change the rules to make them fun, they’re fun right out the box.
“But homebrewing D&D5e into any kind of game is fun! You can homebrew anything out of D&D5e!”
Firstly, I promise that this is not unique to D&D5e. Secondly, then you would probably have more fun homebrewing a system that gives you a better starting point for reaching your goal. Also, what if I told you that there are entire RPG systems out there that are made just for this? There are RPG systems that were designed for the purpose of being a toolbox and set of materials for you to work with to make exactly the game you want to make. Some examples are GURPS, Savage Worlds, Basic RolePlaying, Caltrop Core, and (as much as I loathe it) PbtA.
“I’m not supporting WotC’s monopoly because I pirate all the D&D5e books.”
Then you’re still not supporting the smaller developers that this monopoly is crushing, either.
Now, here’s the how. Because I promise you, there’s not just one, but probably a dozen other RPGs out there that will scratch your exact itch.
Here’s how to find them. This won’t be a comprehensive list because I’ve already been typing this for like 3 hours already. Those reading this, please go ahead and comment more to help fill out the list.
First, I’m gonna plug one of my own major projects, because it’s my post. The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club. It’s a discord server that treats playing TTRPGs like a book club, with the goal of introducing members to a wide variety of games other than D&D5e. RPGs are nominated by members, then we hold a vote to decide what to read and play for a short campaign, then we repeat. There is no financial, time, or schedule investment required to join this book club, I promise it is very schedule-friendly, because we assign people to different groups based of schedule compatibility. You don’t have to play each campaign, or any campaign, you can just read along and participate in discussion that way. And if you can’t afford to buy the rulebook we’re going to be reading, we will make sure you get a PDF of it for free. That is how committed we are to getting non-D&D5e RPGs into people’s hands. Here is an invite link.
Next, there are quite a few tumblr blogs you can follow to get recommendations shown to you frequently.
@indierpgnewsletter
@indie-ttrpg-of-the-day
@theresattrpgforthat
@haveyouplayedthisttrpg
@indiepressrevolution
Plenty of podcasts, journalists, and youtubers out there do in-depth discussions of different systems regularly, a couple I can think of off the top of my head are:
Storyteller Conclave (I’m actually going to be interviewed live on this show on April 10th!)
Seth Skorkowsky
Questing Beast
The Gaming Table
Rascal News
Lastly, you can just go looking. Browse r/rpg, drivethrurpg.com, indie press revolution, and itch.io.
Now, if you really want to support me and my team specifically Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy, our debut TTRPG, is going to launch on Kickstarter on April 10th and we need all the help we can get. Set a reminder from the Kickstarter page through this link.
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If you’re interested in a more updated and improved version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy than the free demo you got from our website, there’s plenty of ways to get one!
Subscribe to our Patreon where we frequently roll our new updates for the prerelease version!
Donate to our ko-fi and send us an email with proof that you did, and we’ll email you back with the full Eureka prerelease package with the most updated version at the time of responding! (The email address can be found if you scroll down to the bottom of our website.)
We also have merchanise.
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so-i-did-this-thing · 2 months ago
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Hello!
I wanted to ask a question, if that's okay. So, I'm genderfluid afab and feel like a man sometimes (probably more often than I allow myself to realise). I don't have access to a Binder or anything of that sort (transphobic parents).
Is there any way for me to look/be more masculine? I'm a bit scared of goggling because I don't want to accidentally take advice from Tate people or the like.
(PS. I really like your Siegfried Farnon cosplay!)
Heya!
This is a tough one to answer. Because "masculine" means different things to different people. And "passing", as well.
Like. When I wear my fleece jacket and baseball cap, I'm deliberately passing as a certain type of man. But I felt more masculine the other day wearing an ascot.
So, I think we need to break down this question:
1) If you're looking to pass, there are going to be trans masc guides out there that will direct you to a very particular gender presentation. They tend to assume you are white and skinny. They present themselves as a list of Dos and Do-Nots, and at the end of the day, do more harm than good, imo. Because passing guides are almost always about hiding parts of yourself physically, often to the expense of hiding parts of your psyche.
Seek them out if you must, but when it comes to passing for safety, all I can suggest is ambiguous layers, a hat, keeping your head down and your mouth shut. The best way to pass is to not draw attention to yourself, alas.
2) If you're looking to dress more masculine to alleviate gender dysphoria, then you need to drill down to what makes you dysphoric and start there. My smaller feet is one area of contention for me, so I look for semi-dressy shoes that look long and elegant (like Taft boots). Since you can't get a binder, consider layers, if your chest bothers you.
3) If you're looking to dress more masculine to seek gender euphoria, then figure out your aesthetic masculine ideal. Make a pinboard of Looks you enjoy and see if there are trends. Some folks are drawn to athletic wear. Work wear. Perhaps a vintage aesthetic -- Rockabilly. 90s grunge. 1940s British country vet (meeeee, lol).
Ask yourself: What are the hallmarks of this style? Are there casual and formal versions? How does it change seasonally? How much of it is clothing and how much of it is the body (haircut, being muscular, etc)? And above all - what is this style trying to communicate to others?
Once done, see what sort of fashion tips are out there for your style. Who are the fashion experts and how much do you care about their advice? (Menswear guy has great tips about how a modern suit "should" fit, but a lot of his advice is also personal preference with a big dollop of classism.)
Pay close attention to how men wear their clothes -- where they sit on the body, how they style the outfit. Compare how a man is styled in your preferred look to how a woman is styled and see what that sparks in you. How much of it is the clothing or body? How much is posture? You might discern some visual shorthand you can harness to be read as more masculine. You might also come up with ways to have plausible deniability around your parents by being able to pivot a masculine look to be more feminine, when needed.
After all this research, get yourself to a thrift shop or other second hand option and start experimenting. Buying actual men's clothing is probably going to be your best bet, but depending on your Look Book, that may not always be the case.
No one can tell you how to feel more masculine -- that really needs to come from within. Once you figure that out, then it's a matter of reconciling your ideal look with the peculiarities of your body. (And all men have their own challenges wrt the fit of clothes.)
Afford yourself as much grace as possible when it comes to your body. And again, remember that feeling more masculine and passing more masculine may not always overlap and could even be at odds. And only you can determine if and when that is a problem.
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liiixsturniolos · 21 days ago
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" m'sorry officer. "
dealer!chris sturniolo x cop!reader
(Readers name: Auriella/ Auri Robbins.)
warnings!: smut, (p into v), dom!chris, sex in a car, mentions of drugs. Car speeding (illegal do not imitate!!)
wc: 1.8k
◇ Your first day at your new job as a cop is quite eventful. You stop a reckless driver until you realise who it is, an old friend from high school, Chris Sturniolo. Reminders of your teengage years, lead to something that could definitely get you fired.
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You gather your neatly folded pile of uniform, setting it down on your bed before you carefully button it up onto yourself, clicking your belt together. You walk over to your bathroom mirror and stare at the shiny new badge you have pinned to your royal blue shirt.
You feel proud. You made it. First day on the job, you're ecstatic.
Your boots click against the floor loudly, their shiny and new, not broken in yet. The tough leather is rubbing against the heel of your foot, but you ignore it and continue to walk toward the car your boss is sitting in.
"Good to see you again, Robbins." He tells you the same as every other morning at 7am sharp. Your day flies by fast. You don't do much, mostly just lounge around in the police car and nosy into minor drug cases, and hand out a few tickets, nothing that matters.
Dissatisfied with your uneventful day, you stroll back to the car, waiting patiently for your colleague to return from the store he was in. You bite your nails out of boredom, play with strands of your hair.
Anything that could satisfy your mind for even a minute would be nice.
You wanted to solve real cases. To stop someone dangerous or take down a big crime, something that would promote you and make your bosses proud. You didn't want to be sitting in an old dusty police car with stained leather seats and only arresting fourteen year old boys who thought they were cool for selling class B drugs from their school backpack.
It bored you quite frankly, and you wanted something real.
A car zooms past, and it had to have been over going over 90.
The echoing screech of the tires woke you up from your thoughts. "Fuck!" You shout, starting up the car.
You disregard your colleague in the store, push your foot down, and set off on a chase. It was a stupid idea in reality.
You should've gotten on your radio and called for someone else to intercept them. It's unlikely you'll catch up with the speeding car on your own.
Your lights are now blaring, the loud warning and red and blue lights flash rapidly as you speed down the road towards the car. Switching lanes and forcing him to pull over, you stop the car as he accepts his fate.
Feeling proud of your first real catch, you exit the car with pure euphoria flowing through your veins, your legs feel tingly, and you can't help but smile slightly as you walk up to the window.
The dark, tinted window rolls down slowly, "m'sorry officer." A familiar voice apologises from inside.
"You were speeding a lot." You emphasise the 'a lot' of your phrase hinting at the severity and wondering if you'd be getting a bonus for this or something.
The man's face is revealed as he turns his head to pass you his licence. "Chris?" You question, holding his licence closer to your face to check you weren't mistaken. "Oh shit! Auri, that you?" He realises.
"Damn, so you're a cop now?" He laughs, taking in the look of your full uniform and pinned up hair.
"Yeah, I am." You respond with a hint of an ego, proud of your achievement.
"That's crazy, I remember when you couldn't pass math." He chuckles.
"I might just give you two tickets for bringing that up." You tell him in a sarcastic tone.
"You wouldn't give me a ticket, would you Auri?" He tilts his head like a puppy.
"Well, you were speeding, fast- like really fucking fast." You say.
"Yeah, I know, m'sorry, let me off this time kay?" He asks, his hand placed on the wheel firmly and his eyes locked in on yours.
You wouldn't break. This was a serious offence. He could've crashed into someone. You have to take him in, or atleast give him a ticket.
He notices you thinking, your body turning stiffer and your arms more firmly crossed, he worries he won't get away with this.
"C'mon Auri, remember all the good times we had."
He says good differently, you knew why.
Just because you fucked once or twice when you were teens doesn't mean you owe him anything, you know that. But when he tilts his head at you, when he pleads a little, seeing his hand gripping the wheel...
The pressure broke you. You tell him you'll let him off this once, but if you ever see him do this again, he's not getting away with it.
"What are you doing driving out here alone anyway?" You question him.
"I just wanted to go for a drive alone, clear my thoughts n' stuff you know." He lies through his teeth.
You could tell he was making up an excuse on the spot, but you'd kind of stopped caring, distracted by him, his eyes, hands, you hadn't seen him in so long.
"You know, I've missed you, Auriella." He whispers.
You couldn't tell if this one was a lie or not.
You smile. "Let me take you for a drive, hm?" He asks.
"Is that one of your jokes?" You respond with a straight face.
"No. Seriously, c'mon Auri, like we used to. You used to let me drive you around fast, even before I had my licence." He smirks.
He was a terrible influence on you in your teenage years. He distracted you from your studies. Got you into a little weed every now and again and would drive you around in his dad's car that he'd steal.
In reality, he hadn't done that to you. Maybe you had. But you like to blame him, you'll never admit you were a little rebellious, you'll never admit you did illegal things, or that you'd fuck in the backseat of his car, it would be the opposite of your pristine, princess reputation.
"No, I gotta go. Let's just forget about this." You tell him sharply, turning away.
He grips onto your bare arm. You turn back your head, "Auri, one last time?" He asks of you.
Shit. Okay, now you had to go. He was looking all begging and cute like he used to. One last time right? Couldn't hurt hm?
You get into the passenger seat of his car and clip on your seat belt. He laughs hearing the click of it. You've become 'uptight' to him, not like you used to be. You've grown up, matured, he hasn't, he's still racing around.
The car speeds off, your head jolts backwards at the impact, and the car soon becomes steady but speeds up quickly.
You'd forgotten about the rush.
The euphoria, the butterflies you'd get, the feeling like you were floating as the car went 100 miles an hour. I was watching intently as the numbers went up higher on the screen. 60. 70. 80. 90...100 mph.
You were obsessed with it. It was an awful and dangerous thing, but that added to the excitement of it all, the wondering if that night was the night you were going to die. It was exhilarating. It made you so anxious. You loved it. You felt 17 again.
The car slows down, eventually coming to a stop as your smile fades and Chris' giggles stop. He looks at you, a dirty look. Something you faintly recognised as you'd tried to scrub it from your mind many times.
His hand lifts from the wheel to your face, he grabs it impulsively and rough like he used to, pushing his lips onto yours.
Your hands roam through his hair. He kisses you harder, rougher, and it reminds you of the way he used to. He pulls away, his lips now latched onto your neck, and he leaves kisses, as he whispers in your ear about how much he's missed you.
He's unbuckling his belt. You give in and do the same, "I missed you so much, I missed this so much too." He whispers.
Fuck. That was all you needed. He might as well have hypnotised you into jumping into the backseat with your pants off.
The next thing you know, that's exactly where you are. He's on top of you, lining himself up with your entrance, pushing his tip against you, sliding himself in slowly.
You moan out quietly, your eyes shut. "Open your eyes, Auri. I wanna you to look at me like you used to." He asks.
You lock eyes with him as he pumps himself deep into you, hitting the right spot repeatedly, untying a knot in your stomach you only just realised was there.
His sweating, bare chest is hitting yours. He bottoms out inside of you, the entirety of his dick, pushing as far in as he could go.
He gets rougher, something you won't admit you like too. He's practically ramming in and out of you, which was the dirty secret you loved.
Your eyes well up with tears. It's a weirdly nostalgic feeling as you come to your high, as euphoric as the drive earlier.
You feel your legs shake around him, the grunts he utters become quiet, as you're blinded by white spots clouding your vision, your eyebrows turning up, and your mouth hanging open wide.
His throbbing cock twitches inside of you, he coats you with warm, wet release as your back arches up at the feel of it, you join him.
You suddenly become aware of what you've done and where you are.
"This was bad." You say worriedly.
"The sex?" Chris scoffs, his eyes wide open.
"No-no, not that.. this. I'm gonna get fired, Chris!" You yelp out.
"I'm sure you won't. I'll help you come up with a lie for why you were gone, trust me." He insists.
You can barely hear him talking over your fast beating heart and your raspy breath as you pull up your underwear. All you can think about is what you'll tell your boss. That you ran off to go on a fast drive and fuck an old friend?
Chris grabs onto your shoulders with his hands, "Listen, I'm good at lying. I'll get you out of this kay?" He reassures you.
Your eyes are darting around until they fixate on something, something you hadn't noticed before, being too busy to see, bags in the trunk of the car.
You lift your head up to see what's in the trunk. You let out a gasp.
"Chris are you fucking kidding me!" You scream.
"Shush, shush-fuck Auri, chill." He shushes you and turns you away from the drugs which are resting in his cars trunk.
"Drug dealer? Chris for real?" You mumble, his hand over your mouth.
"Yes, quit freaking out about it, God." He begs.
"You're a drug dealer and you thought it would be appropriate to fuck a police officer!" You yell.
"Oh my god, Auri! Quit screaming it to everyone!" He pleads.
"This is insane." You tell him, your eyes wide open, staring at him.
"Listen, maybe we can hatch a little agreement, okay?" He starts...
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That's it for today! Please comment/tell me if you want a part two to this! Please also interact if you liked this. Thank you for reading cutiesss!!
Taglist: @matthewsroses @chrislilcumslvt @pvssychicken @ivysturnss @mattsbitchh @sturniolo-fann @matts-myloverboy @emely9274 @sophand4n4 @uncannyguava @certifiedstarrr @chrissweetheart
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heavenbarnes · 6 months ago
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completely self indulgent thoughts about older!bf simon inspired by today's events at work. I work in tech/sales and a lot of my days are spent setting up new phones for people who are 35+, that for the life of them, can't figure out technology. just thinking about older!bf simon needing to get a new phone and asks reader for her thoughts, but when reader starts talking about storage size or sim cards he gets confused and just tells her "pick whatever love, I trust your judgement" not just because he does in fact, trust her judgement, but also because he can't he bothered trying to learn and understand.
have many thoughts about this.
friend, 90% of what i write is entirely self indulgent- we’ve got to do it 🫶🏼
it’s a miracle you convinced older bf!simon to finally get rid of that god forsaken flip phone and start working with an actual smartphone.
granted, it was like pulling teeth (yes the prospect of receiving nudes whilst he was deployed helped) but what mattered was he’d finally entered the 21st century.
and then he drops his cellphone on the drive and manages to boot it into the side of the neighbour’s garage. the thing was absolutely munted by the time it’d come off the end of simon’s steel cap.
which is why you’re standing in the middle of the electronics store looking at endless tables of cellphones and simon looks like he’s there at gunpoint.
“i ‘ave been held at gunpoint, was better than this”
so you lead him to the smartphones that are smart but not too smart, the ones that look hard to break or get wrong. they also look older than half the people working in the store, but that’s besides the point.
“can i help you both with anything?”
right on cue, a young but cheery guy appears across the table with a lanyard that tells you his name is hunter and he’s ready to help!
“no”
your elbow fits nicely under simon’s ribcage as you gear up to play hunter’s defence lawyer for however long this interaction is going to take.
“hi hunter, this one is looking for a new smartphone- what do you recommend?”
and while hunter does a standup job at explaining the benefits of a handful of phones he probably hasn’t sold to anyone under 75, simon is suddenly well engaged.
“and we’ve got a selection of cases, just regular ones or tough ones”
“need t’be tough, don’t want the fucker breakin’ when i’ve got someone in a headlock”
hunter pales and you veeeery slowly turn to simon with a look on your face that begs to know what the actual fuck is wrong with him.
“oh simon, you comic trailblazer- you know what, you’ve been so helpful hunter, thank you!”
you cut the kid loose as he tries to leave the table without taking his eyes off simon, who coincidentally is doing the exact same thing to him.
“would it kill you to let him help us?!”
“just about, didn’t like the way he looked at ‘ya”
the kid didn’t look a day out of school and naturally your better half has to pick a fight with any guy that so much as exists within your atmosphere.
he’s lucky he’s so handsome.
“ugh, which one do you prefer? 32GB? 64?”
“whaddyou’ reckon?”
and you’re about to let out the longest sigh known to man when you catch the look on his face.
that same look he gives you when he’s dressed up for dinner or just come back from a haircut, the look he gives you that tells you he’s looking for your opinion.
approval
“32 would do you, i don’t think you need that much space”
he grunts before he pulls you into his side, taking you both to the counter so he can get you to say all that again to your helpful attendee.
“oi, hunter”
poor guy nearly jumps out of his skin but manages to settle when he realises he’s about to close the sale, even manages to upsell that tough case.
simon settles once he’s back in the car with you, eyes scanning the box his phone comes in and grumbling something under his breath.
when you ask him to speak up you immediately wish you hadn’t.
“lost all those videos ‘f yours, better be enough space f’the new ones”
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mpchev · 8 months ago
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Dissertation on Fanfiction Bookbinding — Looking for participants! [EDIT: Thank you so much, participants found!!!]
[Edit continued: I'm still sorting through emails and setting up meetings, will reply to everyone very soon, I can't even begin to thank everyone enough for the visibility that's been given to this 💜 I'll keep the updates coming as I work on the dissertation (and learn how to bookbind), in case anyone would like to follow along. For any questions about the research or comments/suggestions/resources about ficbinding, my asks are wide open. Thank you thank you thank you!!!]
Hi! My name is Marie Chevrier, I’m currently doing my postgraduate dissertation on fanfiction bookbinding, and I’m looking for people to talk to about it!
If you’ve ever taken a fanfic from somewhere online and turned it into a physical copy, either for yourself or as a gift, I’d love to know more. From printer paper stapled together to typesetting and painted edges, nothing is too simple or too complex — I’m interested in the whole process, what motivates readers or authors to bring the story to a different format, and how it’s one more way to interact with stories actively and creatively. This will be the final project of my MLitt in Folklore and Ethnology with the Elphinstone Institute (University of Aberdeen, Scotland).
What to Expect
To participate, you must be 18 or older and speak English. I’ll give you more details and answer any questions you might have via email, and will then set up individual video calls with participants (if you happen to be in North-East Scotland, we could also meet at an agreed public location). I’ll tell you more about the dissertation and explain how what you share will be used, which depends entirely on what you agree to, including if you would prefer your contribution to be credited or anonymised. I will ask you about your experience with fanfiction bookbinding and if you have some examples to show me, I would love to see them! Meetings will last approximately 45–90 minutes and take place in June 2024. You have the right to withdraw your participation at any time.
Contact Information
If you’d like to participate or have any questions, please send me an email at [email protected]
To know more about the Elphinstone Institute, please visit https://www.abdn.ac.uk/elphinstone/
To know more about me, here's an intro post for you.
If for any reason you don’t wish to participate but still have comments/suggestions/resources/musings you’d like to send my way, please do!
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mari-lair · 2 months ago
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Let's talk about after-school chapter 28!
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I had assumed this interaction was what made Teru, our king of pettiness, go "You know what? I think I won't exorcise your evil spirit problem. Perish."
But?? Akane already had stiff shoulders at the start of their talk?? And Akane waited until it was near the end of their student council time to brag about his 'date' with Aoi.
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Meaning Teru just let Akane carry the embodiment of stress and hatred on his back during their entire student council time??
I can't fathom why? This was not an 'I trust Akane to handle it' case, not when Teru was the one who enchanted his glasses so he know better than anyone how vulnerable to supernatural Akane becomes with it, and telling myself Teru needed to wait for the supernatural to feed on Akane to grow when this guy is a pro exorcist also feels like an excuse.
Maybeeee Teru was morbidly curious as to how Akane would fight the feeling?
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Speculations on the insane decision to let Akane be haunted aside, their conversation is a trainwreck, shout out to how Teru instinct upon hearing Akane got a date is that his buddy is hallucinating.
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I get his skepticism tho, pre-severance Akane you are... A lot.
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"I love the part of her that invites me to go shopping" Akane, my dear, you need help. I know you're being honest but please find a less awkward way to be a lovesick fool. (---> I say, knowing full well he'll need to go through a traumatic feelies talkies section in Death's house first)
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"cya!" is just cute to me. Look at this smug ill-informed dumbass.
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"Hey, the flowers behind aoi are different this time," I think in surprise, even tho realistically Akane must associate Aoi with the entire garden at this point.
And here comes the professional thrid well, the prince himself! His mere presence means Teru actually fell for Akane calling the shopping trip a date though, he gives Akane too much credit.
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Teru knowing Akane well enough to translate his stammers of a pathetic creature into "Why are you here?" is beautiful, bro is better at his side gig (pester akane) than his main job (be an exorcist) today.
Aoi's "I know a liar when I see one. let's indulge him anyways" she truly is a kind soul.
Speaking of said liar, I love that Teru doesn't have a basket or shopping cart.
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He isn't even trying to pretend he had plans to go shopping, what a guy.
Aoi getting excited over dirt and fertilizer, my girl <3
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Shout out to Akane for being happy that Aoi is happy and to Teru for finally figuring out that he doesn't need to sabotage anything cause there is nothing to sabotage.
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Teru: *speak*
Akane: and away goes my joy and whimsy.
Love Teru trying to bond with Aoi right after the realization this is a hangout. He wastes no time.
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Aoi telling Teru the truth is sweet, I'm glad they are getting closer. Also happy to see Teru remains shameless.
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Aoi gave him the driest look possible and Teru still put carrots on her basket. He even said "buy it" SO HE WOULD HAVE MADE HER PAY FOR THE CARROTS.
YES AOI REPRIMAND HIS ASS!
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She really treats him like a dog! Is incredible. From her 'grrr' to the way she points a finger at him, it gives me "bad dog! Drop it!" energy.
Fascinated by the way Teru blushes. He seems to be more hung up on being called 'bad' than anything, but he definitively liked being reprimanded, he is still blushing when he walks instead of displaying the dejection of the convenience store.
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He doesn't even give up on his quest to make her buy veggies.
Teru, you're doing horrible sweety, keep pestering her and you two will be inseparable in no time <3
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Love how Akane snapped out of the curse's first attempt to make him spiral by refusing to be on the same level as Hanako.
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He is so arrogant "What am i a loser? A pathetic toilet loser? Nah nah, I am better than that." like damn, okay bro.
I can't believe he pushed back against a curse by the sheer power of self-confidence and determination though, he is built differently. 90% of the characters in this manga cannot relate.
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Love how Teru probably didn't suggest a single flower for Aoi to buy, trying to test if he could sneak even one vegetable into her basket, so his closeness to Aoi just made Akane's petunia suggestion look that much more thoughtful in comparison (she does look very happy to be given an actual flower).
Rest in peace Teru you suck at sabotaging.
(Or he would suck if that was the goal! He stuck around for this entire hangout despite how rare his free time is. He got his ice cream, he even walked Aoi home, he just want to hang out. Same vibe as when he went "Oh aoi come with me to the festival, Akane will be there")
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I find Teru's zoned-out face so cute.
There is no speech bubble to Terukane's first panel here, but i am 95% sure Teru was the one who asked to be notified about Aoi's gardening progress considering the '...' contrasting Akane's enthusiasm. Love that for him, yes talk to Aoi, get close to this closed off girl.
And Akane didn't like that iuguyguygyui
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Teru can always just take off his glasses like Akane never fights that. Good for you.
I am still not over Teru just letting him carry this curse.
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But now I really doubt he did it specifically to torture Akane, cause Teru likes helping Akane as much as he enjoys annoying him.
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I wonder if he is proud of Akane for not acting on any of the negative feelings he was being fed, cause Teru looks genuinely happy here! It's a far cry from his usual 'bullying you relax me' or 'i am petty' kind of smiles.
...I may be biased but I am throwing my "Teru didn't exorcise the monster for this long to have an excuse to be hanging out with the Aois while tecnically doing his job." idea here. We do get a heavy confirmation he could have done something before and wanted to third wheel after all.
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Teru wants to turn this couple into a tricycle so bad. What a guy.
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"I hope I didn't act weird" That's an insane thing to think considering how you act near Aoi on the daily bro, you're lucky she is too down bad to mind your madman tendencies.
Peak weirdo to weirdo pining hell.
Speaking of which, she sent him a message to show off the planted flowers! She went out of her way to make sure he saw it, Akane never asked her to update him.
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LOOK AT THEEEEEEEEEEM
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"Thanks for taking me out today!" says the one who invited him. And 'taking me out'? to the hardware store? I swear I wouldn't even be surprised if she mentally referred to their hang-out as a date too. I love you Aoi.
"As long as Ao-chan had fun, I am happy" l know and I love you.
ps: Their height difference still sparks joy. The smallest girl in the block, the tallest boy in the group, and the perfect middle ground.
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