#in addition i'm scared of what it might look like to the people i'm hoping will hire me if someone from the employment agency calls them

[theflyingfeeling]

aaaarrghghgh 😭

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I've been trying to focus on thinking about things I enjoy about the idea of the TWST anime. And regarding overblots, I think an anime version would really help illustrate (even more) how terrifying the process is. I really like how the manga shows Riddle's OB, and I love anime as a medium, so I'm pretty hyped to see how it will be conveyed in it.

I really hope they accentuate the horror of it- I'm aware that they might not go all in w the horror like I would personally like, but the thought still excites me. What kind of music will they play? Will the animation change like it does in some animes when the characters are distressed (wobbly lines, glitchy effects)...? What sort of directions will the voice actors get? I mean, they already voiced the game, but anime gives them more room to do voice stuff. I'm really hyped for this aspect tbh...

And I'm also excited for the possibility of dubs, since I'm quite a fan of the whole dubbing world. (I know some ppl have their fears about this last possibility, but in my case even if it turns out to not be so good, I think we could still have a good time w something like that. Plus I've seen some popular eng dub actors hyped about the anime and wanting to be casted for certain characters)

I also wanted to apologize for my previous ask ᕙ⁠(⁠⇀⁠‸⁠↼⁠‶⁠)⁠ᕗ I already did so in the comments, but I felt bad about doomposting on your inbox. My mind's first reaction is usually to see the negative first and become anxious, and it's something I'm working on, but it sometimes goes out of hand. But now that a bit has passed, and specially thanks to your advice, I can sit down and try to focus on the things that excite me rather than the ones that scare me. Sure, building too much expectation could backfire at the end— but as you said, we have little to no information at this point. So I think focusing on the things I'd like to see is a better usage of my time. If they turn out to disappoint me... That's something I'll worry about next year, I'll suppose. I'm still a bit anxious and scared, but there's also lots of things I'm hyped for. I'll try to take your advice and focus on those. 🫂 Sorry if my previous negativity made you uncomfortable.

[Referencing this news! Asker’s prior post here.]

I’ve seen a lot of fans speculating that the OB transformation sequences will resemble magical girl ones! While that’s a fun idea, I do feel like it makes more sense for the anime to portray OB as something scary and all-consuming, similar to how it is depicted at the end of animated dorm commercials and in the manga. For the characters experiencing them, it’s not meant to be glamorous… All that agony, the dripping ink leaking out of their orifices and dripping like blood. Overblot looks incredibly horrific, and I think that should come through in the animation—whether they change the usual style for these segments or keep it the same.

I think the anime would reuse (or maybe do remastered versions of?) the Twst soundtrack for a lot of the show. The compositions are already there, so might as well. Maybe experiencing the anime will help to make the music more memorable, since it seems the game soundtrack alone isn’t doing it for some fans.

No clue about the JP voice cast; I did see some people worrying that they could replace the game’s voice cast for the anime, but as I’ve mentioned already, that’s an unfounded claim. If the usual VAs are there, surely they won’t just reuse the already recorded lines from the game?? 😂 I’d think they’d at least have to rerecord those based on how the script and its scenes are laid out, plus additional dialogue to fill in the gaps (such as new scenes).

No confirmation of an English (or other language) dubs yet either! (Again, this is another topic related to the anime that sparks worry, but I must stress that it’s pointless to get into a tizzy about something that isn’t concrete yet.) But yes, I’ve already seen English VAs expressing interest in certain characters; Daman Mills wants to audition for Malleus, Alejandro Saab has made it known he has Twst on his radar and wants to voice Leona, etc. (The latter has done Twst dorm leader impressions for fun before; I think Mr. Saab could make for a decent Leona or even Malleus!)

Don't worry about the previous ask ^^ I think it's better that we discuss these things with one another rather than post or tweet into the void and allow those negative feelings to fester. If you want to view it in a different way, think of it like the OB boys actually getting therapy/finding someone to confide in instead of being allowed to stew in their own emotions and risking OB a second time. Sometimes all it takes is that gentle nudge or a reminder to step back and take a deep breath. When we let our emotions get the best of us, we end up thinking and acting in irrational ways, and then that can lead to people--whether yourself or others--getting hurt.

[kikyoupdates]

Bloodthirst ⭑˚💋⭑ 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑖𝑡𝑒

bnha x vampire!reader

reverse harem, my hero academia x fem!reader, my vampire!reader, slowburn

As punishment for your sins, you, a young vampire, are banished — not just from your home, but to a different world entirely. Now, you find yourself in a foreign place where Quirks and heroes are the norm. In addition to coming to terms with your new life, you must also face your greatest challenge: controlling your massive thirst for blood.

previous | story masterlist | next

Izuku’s big green eyes were wide and trembling. He looked appalled, and somewhat horrified as well, although you supposed that was only natural, considering what you’d just asked him. In a human-dominated world such as this one, someone like you was an obvious anomaly.  

Still, you weren’t feeling well right now. Far from it, as a matter of fact. The suddenness of your being brought into this different realm was clearly having an adverse effect on your body. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt such a dizzying wave of hunger before.  

If you didn’t consume some blood, and soon, things were going to get ugly.  

You swallowed hard, trying not to scare him too much. “I can understand... why you’d be shocked. I’ve been catching you off guard with so many different things. But, um, you see... I’m actually a vampire. I need to drink blood in order to survive. And I'm feeling super weak all of a sudden...”  

Cue the silence. He wasn’t speaking at all. Actually, it was more accurate to say that he couldn’t speak, what with the way his mouth had frozen from shock. His reaction was enough to tell you that vampires definitely weren’t commonplace in this world, unlike what you’d been hoping for.  

“V-Vampire,” Izuku blinked, still trying to wrap his head around your words. “This is all just... I’m sorry, but I don’t know what to think. By vampire, you mean those supernatural beings that drink blood from humans?”  

“Ah. So, you have heard of us.”  

“Only in books and movies! Not in real life!”  

“Well, it looks as though what may be fiction in one world is actually reality in another. When you think about it, having multiple worlds in the first place is already crazy enough. Before I was cast away, I hadn’t even considered the possibility.”  

As much as you would have loved to sit down and have a proper conversation explaining the details of your situation, you could feel yourself growing weaker by the second. At first, it was just that your body felt hot and you were rather dizzy, but your stomach was starting to have painful pangs, and the cut on your shoulder was throbbing uncontrollably. You hadn’t realized just how much strain this change would place on your body. Fuck... 

You felt like you might go insane.  

“I-I’m sorry for frightening you,” you managed weakly. This was bad. This was really, really bad. If Izuku didn’t agree to give you some of his blood, you were afraid that in your desperation, you might just lunge straight at him. The whole purpose of you being here was so that you could learn to control yourself, but how could you do that under these circumstances? Your body felt like it was being ripped apart from the inside. Even your brain was starting to turn to mush.  

Izuku now looked visibly concerned, although it could have been that your vision was also starting to fail you. Either way, it seemed like he was beginning to take your words much more seriously. The way you kept on gasping for breath and clutching at your injured shoulder probably had something to do with it.  

“Are you... telling the truth?” he asked quietly. “If you’re really telling the truth, and you need to do this otherwise you won’t survive... then I don’t mind giving you my blood.”  

You gave him a look of disbelief. He... actually believed you? If vampires truly didn’t exist in this world, then he really had no reason to. You imagined that most people would have probably shrugged you off, assuming that you were putting on some overdramatic performance for whatever reason. Maybe they would have even thought you were insane.  

But not Izuku. You could tell by the way he was looking at you. Whether or not he was truly convinced by your words, it seemed like in this moment, the only thing he was interested in was helping to ease your pain.  

He wanted to save you. That was what his eyes seemed to convey.  

“If you really don’t mind... then, please,” you nodded. Beads of cold sweat had begun to form across your forehead. You were on the verge of passing out if you didn’t drink any blood soon, and now that you were in a foreign land, you feared to discover just how dire the consequences would be.  

Izuku glanced around, then gestured for you to follow him. “L-Let’s maybe go somewhere a bit more private,” he offered. “If you think you’re able to make it a bit further...?”  

That was probably for the best. Drawing needless attention to yourself wouldn’t do you any favors, and you were fairly certain that most people would be flabbergasted—and probably horrified—if they saw what you were about to do.  

Steeling yourself against the pain, you followed Izuku and headed for a more secluded area. He kept on glancing over at you nervously the whole time, checking in to make sure you were still okay. Well, you weren’t really okay, but relief was only a short while away, so you told yourself to hold on just a bit longer. 

Finally, you seemed to have reached a good spot. A small alleyway behind a rather shoddy-looking building. You hoped its poor condition meant that most people wouldn’t come this way. 

Izuku looked nervous, and you couldn’t really blame him. “Um, so...” he said, twiddling his thumbs. “H-How exactly do we do this...?”  

“The neck,” you said, swallowing impatiently. “It’s the easiest spot for me to bite into. But if you’re too scared, I could use your arm instead. Actually, maybe it’s better that way. It’ll be easier for you to push me back if you need to.”  

“Why would I need to push you back?”  

“Because...”  

Because I might not be able to stop myself.  

You didn’t voice that last part out loud, as guilty as you felt about it. There was no point in scaring Izuku off, especially since it wouldn’t change your predicament in the slightest. If he got too frightened and ran off, you would just have to find some other poor person to feed off. And unlike with Izuku, you doubted they would go along so willingly.  

You also didn’t exactly have the luxury of time on your side. The longer you waited, the weaker you became and the more ravenous you felt. The worst-case scenario would be if you lost control of yourself and started attacking people indiscriminately. After all, your family wouldn’t be here to stop you this time.  

“Never mind,” you said with a shake of your head. “But... if you’re sure you want to do this, then please roll up your sleeve and stick your arm out.”  

Izuku nodded hastily and did just that. He exposed his forearm, which was practically blemish-free, a small dusting of freckles strewn across certain areas. Even though hardly anything had changed, you could feel your heart beating a bit faster. He smelled way too good. If this was how good he smelled, you could only imagine how much better he would taste.  

It was a challenge, but you forced yourself to get a grip. You never wanted a repeat of what had happened with your friend. You never wanted to hurt someone like that ever again.

Fingers shaking a bit, you carefully grabbed Izuku’s arm and lifted it towards your mouth. You were both quite nervous, it looked like, but each for the opposite reason. Izuku’s was for fear of getting hurt, and yours was for fear of hurting him.  

But there was no way around it. You weren’t about to roll over and die after being in this new world for less than a day.  

You parted your lips and unhinged your jaw. Izuku let out a little gasp when he saw the way your teeth sharpened; your canines turning into pointed fangs. If he didn’t believe you to begin with, it looked like he was definitely starting to now.  

“This is going to hurt quite a bit,” you warned him. You felt it was only fair for him to prepare himself in advance. Izuku, however, didn’t seem deterred.  

“It’s okay,” he nodded. “You need help. I’m going to help you.”  

Without giving him another chance to second-guess his decision, you sank your fangs into the skin near his wrist. As expected, he let out a hiss and sucked in a breath of air to keep from screaming. All things considered, he was taking it surprisingly well. Most people who weren’t used to having their blood sucked tended to panic quite a bit the first time.  

But honestly, you were too distracted to marvel in his bravery right now. Just as you’d surmised, his blood really was beyond your expectations. Different humans tended to have different tastes; like with everything else in life, there was a certain amount of variety you could expect. That being said, you’d tasted plenty of delicious blood before.  

Even so, Izuku’s was easily the best.

You slurped from his skin greedily, relieved to feel your strength coming back to you almost at once. Every so often, Izuku would scrunch up his nose and shudder. His eyes were squeezed shut, probably because he was too scared to actually watch what was happening. That was fine, though. He was already being more than generous towards you, and for a human who’d only just found out vampires actually existed, his courage was truly admirable.  

It was like you’d died and gone to heaven, if there really was such a place. Assuming vampires were allowed in heaven, anyways. The point was that you’d never tasted anything so delicious before in your entire life, and you wanted to keep gorging yourself on his blood—for the rest of eternity, if you could.  

Alas, you couldn’t. It was hard, really hard, but you forced yourself to pull away. Izuku’s blood was intoxicating, but you needed to learn from your mistakes. You couldn’t harm the person who’d risked his own wellbeing just to try and help you.  

Gaze lidded, you wiped the back of your hand across your mouth, cleaning away any blood that still lingered on your lips. “All done,” you said.  

Izuku finally worked up the nerve to open his eyes again and get a proper look at you. He paused for a moment, looking a bit uncertain, before finally glancing down near his wrist, where he noticed the two puncture marks your fangs had left behind.  

“Y-You really drank my blood,” he marveled, lightly pressing near the wounds. They were definitely tender, so he winced a bit when he applied a touch too much force.  

“Thank you so much,” you sighed heavily. “I’m feeling a lot better now. I made sure not to take too much blood from you, but how is it? Are you feeling lightheaded or anything like that? Does it still hurt a lot even though I’ve stopped?”  

Izuku shook his head. “No... I’m okay. I’m not really sure how to describe it, but I could definitely feel that you were sucking my blood out. I-It's not a sensation I ever thought I would experience, that much is for sure.”  

“You’re amazing, Izuku. You let me suck your blood even though you must have been so scared.”  

“I’m nothing special!” he blurted. His face had turned red again. You figured it had less to do with you sucking his blood and more so the fact that you’d complimented him. “You weren’t looking so good earlier, but it seems like that’s changed for the better now. I’m so relieved,” he smiled. “That means I was able to make a difference, right?”  

Although you’d only just met, it was already abundantly clear that he was a good guy.  

You grinned back at him. “Back in my world, even the humans that are used to having their blood sucked still get a bit scared from time to time. But you took it like a champ, even though you didn’t know what to expect. You really are incredible. There’s no need to be embarrassed. Being brave is something to take pride in.”  

“I-I-If you say so!” Izuku spluttered nervously. He didn’t seem to handle praise well. Perhaps he wasn’t used to hearing it?  

If that was the case, then you’d have to do your best to change fix that.  

But seriously... what a relief. I felt like I was going to die if I didn’t drink any blood right away.  

The reality was that you very well could have died. There was no one here to look after you. Even though this punishment seemed quite cruel, you knew that you’d only ended up in this position thanks to your negligence. A life was a life. Like your parents had said, you needed to never take it for granted ever again.  

Although the momentary silence wasn’t unsettling, Izuku still felt the need to chime in. “Um, so... are you okay now, [Name]?”  

“Yes! I’m as good as new,” you beamed, twirling in place for emphasis.  

“I’m glad to hear that. But... what are you going to do next? You said you don’t have a place to live, right? Because your family sent you here?”  

Ah. Right. Even though the emergency had been dealt with, you were still pretty royally screwed.  

You nodded somberly. “Yeah. I did something to really upset them, so they told me I’m not allowed to come home until I’ve taken the time to reflect on my mistakes and mature a bit.”  

“Still... a whole different world?” Izuku gaped. “That’s way too severe of a punishment, no matter what! How could your parents do that to you? What exactly did you do that made them so angry?”

You swallowed. Honestly, you were hesitant to reveal the exact reason behind your banishment. Izuku had been nothing but kind to you, but if he found out what you’d done, he might leave you behind and never look back.  

“I don’t want to say,” you admitted, casting your head to the ground. “I’m sorry. Just... not right away. Maybe once you get to know me a bit better.”  

Izuku looked surprised at first, but he quickly shook his head. “No, I shouldn’t have tried to pry in the first place!” he reassured. “It sounds like you’ve been through a lot already. I can’t even imagine what I would do if I was in your place... sorry for pressuring you for an answer.”  

“There’s no reason to apologize. It’s only natural to be curious.”  

You really were fortunate to have run into Izuku. For once, acting on your bloodthirst had proven to be the right call.  

Still. You were very much in a sticky situation.

“This is incredibly shameless of me,” you started, clenching your hands into fists and swallowing your embarrassment, “but... is there any way I might be able to stay with you for a little while? As of now, you’re the only one who knows that I’m a vampire from a different world. I’m just really lost and afraid, but you’ve been so nice to me, and even helped me. Just for a little while—just long enough for me to figure out what to do next. Would that be okay...?”  

Of course it wasn’t okay. You couldn’t believe that you were even daring to impose on him like this. But you weren’t lying about being scared. Just because you were strong didn’t mean that you didn’t get nervous or doubt yourself. You were only fourteen years old, apart from your family for the very first time—literally worlds apart.  

You were far from perfect, and you knew that. You just hoped that Izuku might be willing to put up with you for a little longer.

“Okay.”  

You blinked.  

Wait... what did he just say?  

It wasn’t just the fact that he’d said it. It was the way he’d said it, with little to no hesitation whatsoever. 

Izuku smiled shyly. “You need help, and I’m happy that you think I might be able to lend a hand. Normally I would suggest going to the heroes for something serious like this... but your situation is definitely unique, so I can understand why you’d be scared when you don’t know anything about this place. We can figure out a solution together... a-alright?”  

Tears welled up in your eyes. You couldn’t help it. He wasn’t just a good guy. He was an absolute angel.  

“My hero!” you couldn’t help but cry out, throwing yourself over him and giving him a big hug. “Oh, thank you! Thank you so much! This means more to me than you’ll ever know! I promise that no matter what I have to do, I’ll find a way to repay you somehow!”  

Izuku let out a noise that was somewhere in between a squeak and a gasp. He didn’t try to push you off as you squeezed your arms around him. Actually, his face was so red that it looked like he was about to start blowing steam from his ears, so you figured he was frozen stiff from shock.  

At the risk of sending him into cardiac arrest, you decided you should probably pull away and give him some space.  

“Sorry about that,” you apologized sheepishly. “I got a bit too excited there.”  

Izuku’s cheeks were still aflush, and he was staring at you in some sort of daze. “...hero,” he mumbled.  

“Hm?”  

“You just... called me your hero,” he swallowed, suddenly looking as though he was about to cry tears of joy.  

“Because you are,” you encouraged happily. “You’re saving me big-time!”  

“It’s just... no one’s ever said that to me before. Not a single person.”  

“Wow. So, I guess that makes me the first!”  

“Yeah.” Izuku let out a giggle, and you could’ve sworn your heart skipped a beat. He was grinning ear-to-ear now. “You’re the first, [Name].”  

Something told you that despite being banished, this world had plenty of bright moments in store for you.

More chapters are available on Quotev, Ao3, and Wattpad !

⊱.⋅follow + post notifications on for story update announcements or join the author's discord!⋅.⊰

💋 main masterlist ♡ oneshot masterlist

[autumnteawithfriends]

before I start this little rant I just want to say that I 100% agree that vivzie canonizing alastor as mixed was the most bullshit way to save her self from the voodoo allegations and I don't condone all of the terrible stuff she has done and her inconsistent writing (I'm just saying this because my take might make me look like a vivzie stan lol)

But as a mixed person (I have light brown skin and curly hair), seeing people constantly claim that because alastor has pale (ashy af) skin and straight hair means he isn't mixed leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I suffered alot with racial imposter syndrome when I was younger and I never felt like I was "black enough" to be accepted into poc environments. And people seem to forget that if your mixed with black and white, that your also part white. And that your skin can be light and you don't need to have curly hair to be mixed. Now alastor is definitely just a cheap excuse because he litterally has no black features what so ever (like darker skin, curly hair, flatter nose, or bigger lips), but seeing everyone always portray him with dark brown skin and curly hair just shows that some people really do sometimes forget that not all mixed people are brown with curly hair lol

(I love your posts btw and I'm not saying that you are like this at all btw!! I'm just too much of a pussy to post this on my blog because im scared of stans lol, keep up the good work!)

Thanks for the ask! (And thanks for the compliment)

Yeah like, while I agree that Alastor’s POC coding definitely sucks since it’s obviously a last minute addition if you’re aware of the Voodoo controversy. A pet peeve I have with Alastor redesigns is that they sometimes make this man seem like he’s fully brown instead of mixed Creole like Viv stated he was. Also on a side note, a pet peeve I have with some Hazbin redesigns is that they usually go as creative as they want with the other characters, but when it comes to the POC characters (or sometimes just Alastor) they just give them brown skin and features from whatever ethnicity their from. Like, while I do like that redesigns actually make the POC characters look POC, it’s also kinda boring at the same time because some are willing to give Nifty whatever color skin they like (since she’s a insect) and Lilith purple sometimes. But they just give the POC characters brown/black skin and ethnic features and call it a day? (I hope this makes sense)

Also admittedly, I feel like Velvette’s coding is worse than Alastor’s because I believe she’s supposed to be fully coded as black instead of mixed (she’s voiced by a black voice actress to) yet she has the same ashy grey skin like-what the hell is the coding in Hazbin Hotel. This also applies to the Seraphim sisters (except Sera personally because at least she has darker skin compared to Emily)

Yeah, Viv’s coding legitimately sucks ass

[blimgus]

Regarding WHB

(sorry for mistakes im writing this on PC without autocorrect)

I've noticed that the game is loosing many of its tumblr community due to the recent drama (idk if we can call it that? i mean that PB did some really crappy stuff)

''What in Hell is Bad?" used to be one of my fav games due to great storytelling, interesting worldbuilding and awesome and unique character designs. It was also one of the few porn games (lol) targetting the female audience which wasn't relying on heavy and steamy yaoi.I've grown so used to the absolutely cursed humor of this game that it will take me some time to find a good replacement...

While many people were annoyed at the lack of content, I used to enjoy the slow pace and lack of grind requierments.The addition of battle pass seemed fine until the only added content started to appear behind a goddamn overpriced paywall.Honestly I fully understand that adding Bath Beel to a battle pass made all hell break loose for the internet community.The card that was expected to arrive on the seals banner or idk as a login bonus was taken away from us which was soooo unfair to Beel fans. Also taking our daily 10 pull was critical to the relations between the players and devs. Imagine being a new player now, having trouble getting even a single 10 pull.

I still want to enjoy the created fantasy world from whb, but when the devs make it hard I just sometimes want to give up on that game. Like Andrealphus and Sitri are still one of my faves and i might doodle them in my notebooks, however idk about how the future of game's story will look.

The community created around this game was honestly kinda like my little safespace? We were pretty laid back and used to weird and horny stuff so I got really into doing my little silly doodles and writing a few headcanons.Big fandoms usually scare me due to the big spectrum of "types of fans". Even if we had some drama in the community among users we wre able to get back together and solve our problems together.

I just wanted to thank all of the content creators of WHB tumblr/twitter fandoms since I know that some of you decided to leave the game for good.( I mean i know that most of us are boycotting the game but just wanted to mention those who decide to leave us) My time in the fandom was really special! I loved entertaining you with my little silly versions of the characters, writing some theories and other stuff. While im currently boycotting the game just like most of us, I'm a bit tired of the lack of communication from PB. I'd love to get some new lore to make new headcanons and stuff to make the sillies even funnier, but... drawing them currently feels like I'm trying to revive the fandom by myself. blimgus was mostly created from my love for the game and I really hope that the game one day will be still fun to play

[spin-birdie]

kinktober day 20: sex pollen

prompt list

word count: ~840

pairing: tav/astarion

rating: explicit

additional tags: gender neutral tav, dubcon, maybe hurt/comfort? (it's act 1, astarion is infected and hes really unhappy about it. he likes tav enough to accept their help but hes still in his Allergic To Feelings phase. this is somewhat angsty. consider yourself warned)

A flash of dim light catches Astarion's attention, and his eyes lock onto Tav's. His stomach tenses. He'd be sick with nausea and stop moving entirely, if only he could, but he knows if he pumps his cock any slower, it will just scream at him to continue.

So instead he snarls, baring his teeth at the intruder. "Get out!"

"No!" Tav scowls, ducking into the tent. "You've been going at it for, what, an hour? We can all hear you, would it kill you to--"

"Yes, actually!" Astarion snaps.

Tav lurches back, looking him over more carefully. Astarion grits his teeth and says nothing. His cock is harder than it's ever been, even though he's come who cares how many times, now. Undead or not, no elf could or should come this many times this quickly and still be this erect.

Tav at least seems to notice something is wrong. They tsk and kneel down to his level. "Look, what happened? You're clearly out of sorts."

Astarion sighs. The story is too fucking long and stupid to waste his breath on. Instead he reaches out to their tadpole, thrusting his memory of events into their mental link.

When everyone went back to camp, he stalked off into the big wide Underdark to hunt. Just when he found something that looked like it might have blood in it, a careless misstep made something explode underfoot. The next thing he knew, he was covered in thick, cloying, purple spores. He had no idea what kind of mushroom they came from, but the explosion scared away his meal, so he returned to camp hungry and bitter.

He was just going to sulk in his tent for the evening, try to ignore the roaring hunger inside him, but he was burning up. Worse than that, his cock was aching and leaking in his trousers, and his clothes were too hot and itchy, he needed to come, and he did, again and again, but the more he came the harder he got and gods, dear fucking gods, he's going to die if it doesn't stop soon, he needs--

Tav's mind lurches, and they sever the connection, physically reeling back. "Weeping hells. You need help."

"No shit," Astarion gasps, his skin prickling sharp with humiliation. His cock hurts, his wrists hurt, everything's too sensitive and he just wants to rest, but he can't stop moving, even under Tav's stupid sympathetic gaze. "Now help me or leave."

"I'm not going anywhere," Tav says softly, putting a hand on his knee. Their touch is an immediate relief, a soothing cool balm against his fevered skin. He wheezes, overwhelmed.

"Help me," he begs, and he chokes on the quiet part of himself that loathes how desperate he sounds. Of all the people who could have come to check on him, at least it's the person he's already sleeping with.

Tav puts a palm to his forehead, and he emits a stuttered, breathless moan at the relief it brings. It's not pleasure, per say, but he'll fucking take it.

"What can I do…" Tav mutters, seemingly to themself. They look over to the side, to Astarion's discarded clothes. They pick up his shirt, staining their hands with spores as they do so. (But more importantly, staining his shirt. He hopes he remembers to be pissed about it later.)

Tav lifts the shirt up to their face, and before Astarion can realise what's happening, they inhale deeply from the fabric.

"Don't breathe it in, what's wrong with you?!" Astarion hisses.

Tossing the shirt aside, Tav looks down at Astarion with conviction.

They run a hand over Astarion's stomach, gathering his come on their fingers.

"I won't let you suffer this alone," they tell him as they start to stroke his length.

It's still not comfortable by any means, but it feels so much better than his own hand, and he whimpers hysterically, squirming under their touch.

"You stupid arsehole," he grits out.

It's too much. Tav is too much. The sweet idiot just dosed themself with some horrible aphrodisiac-- for what? So they'd both be writhing, useless messes, humping each other until the entire campsite smells like sex? Why bring themself down to his level?

It can't be for his own sake, he thinks, even as he pulls Tav into a kiss so fierce their teeth clash. It can't be, because if it was - if Tav really is the sort of person who'd endure torment like this for the sake of another - it just…no. People like that don't exist. Not in Astarion's world.

If they're really that kind of person, where the fuck were they when he needed them?

Bitter thoughts distract him, but Tav's body pressing against his feels better than any medicine. They kiss him eagerly, their breath catching as the spores kick in. They need him. He's needed them for a while. So he takes.

He takes and takes, and allows Tav to distract him until he's returned to that familiar empty corner of his mind.

[according2thelore]

I've had this little idea in my head for awhile but that last ask about Ls!Sam and Es! Dean really made me want to revisit it and share.

So i had this dumb little thought awhile ago.

It starts with es!Dean trying to kiss ls!Sam for whatever reason, and Sam pushes him away because he and ls!Dean promised, no stealing any firsts away from their younger selves.

And so younger Dean is pushed away, and he looks devastated, but more then that he looks scared. Panicked. Like he thinks he just made the biggest mistake of his life, letting Sam(any version of sam) know his fucked up feelings.

And Sam, already knowing what's going through deans head, is quick to be like "I want to kiss you! I do!" And younger Dean just eyes him, like he thinks he's lying. So Sam keeps explaining. "I want to, but you can't. If I- er, if younger me found out that I stole our first kiss, something I've been pining for since I was a kid? It would destroy, uh..." Sam winces, trying to work around how to word it, "...Me." He shakes his head. "What I'm saying is that your Sam needs that kiss first.

Dean doesn't look entirely convinced, but he's calmer now, not so panicked anymore. Though he still looks like he's ready to bolt if he needs to.

Sam sighs and keeps going, "Look. I feel the same way ok? I've felt this way about you for ages. But your firsts should be with him, not me. Not yet." He shakes his head, "I know it seems easier with me because I'm more developed-" He doesn't miss the obvious way Dean's eyes flick to Sam's chest. He bites down a scoff, typical Dean, "But I promise, he'll be thrilled to hear you tell him you love him. He wants to kiss you, needs it really. So-" another sigh, then a laugh. "Kiss him first. Then come talk to me when you've got it all figured out."

ANYWAY this isn't really anything. I don't remember exactly what inspired this but I know that this whole thing came from seeing people talk about Sam's tits, and I started think that the term "developed" tends to reference women's bodies as they get older. And I just thought that Dean automatically looking at Sam's chest when he says "developed" would be hilarious. That's really the only reason I wrote this whole thing LMAO

Idk if this would even fit anywhere in your es/ls verse, and I dont expect you to do anything with it lol, but I just thought the idea was funny and you might appreciate it. I assume we're all Sam titty enjoyers in this house, including and especially Dean Winchester LMAO

(Excuse any errors, I wrote this up in like 5 minutes without double checking much lol)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

omg i LOVE this--consider it canon!!!!!! :) or "canon," ig, since we're all just kinda messing around!

this has EVERYTHING i love!!!! AHHH!

tiny (steamy) addition, bc the "not yet" and "come to me when you've got it all figured out" got me thinking!

hope you enjoy and THANK YOU for sending it in!!!!!!! your brain, your genius...and for five minutes?? DAMN!!! thanks again! :) <3

-lizzy

"hey. sammy." sam looks up, and sees younger dean striding towards him. sam puts a paper in the book he's reading to hold his place, alarmed.

before sam can ask what's wrong, dean has rounded the library table, and stands in front of his chair. sam tilts his chair out, hands coming up to check for injuries, but--

hands in his hair. sam is tugged forward, up, and--

dean's lips are on his. dean...devours him. dean kisses him like a starving man, tongue on his bottom lip begging entry. sam opens--dazed, unable to deny dean in anything, any version of dean, so used to opening for his own dean when he's half fucked and delirious that he doesn't even think about it.

dean whimpers, tilting forward, sliding between sam's open thighs. dean's tongue is wet, hot, and slides against sam's own with heady determination. sparks skitter across sam's scalp as dean pulls sam further up, closer.

he makes a wounded noise when sam's hands come up to his hips, one of his hands wrapping around dean's waist like it's nothing, covering his entire flank. sam starts to kiss back--barely, tongue at dean's bottom lip--when he comes back to himself.

he uses his grip on dean's hips to haul him away, dean fighting him every step of the way and leaving wet, sucking kisses on sam's mouth as he pulls away.

"what--" he starts, dazed. dean's heaving for breath, mouth pink and bright and eyes glazed over like sam's been sucking his cock, not light kissing.

"we talked yesterday. worked it out. kissed him first." dean pants, and leans back in. the words register. he talked to sam. he kissed his younger self. hope and pride start to bloom in sam's chest, and he knows he's starting to smile from the way dean's eyes go soft and adoring. his thumb lands on sam's bottom lip, eyes going dark from how wet it is. "not stealing anything." he swears.

dean swoops back down, and sam has no time to stop him, dean kissing him with reckless, passionate abandon. he doesn't know what sam likes yet, he realizes, so he's throwing everything at the wall. it's endearing. and messy.

sam pulls back, trying to stay on track.

"i should--ah!" sam starts, but dean nips at his jaw, making sam jolt in his arms. "let me talk to dean, first, okay?"

he needs to talk to dean first. he's not stealing a first kiss, or a first makeout, or anything, but sam is not going to risk his relationship with his brother over this.

dean is not listening, and tries to come back to sam's mouth. sam starts to stand, taking control of the kiss, tongue licking into dean's mouth in a way that has dean legitimately humping forward into sam's thigh. by the time sam is standing, his head is bent low over dean, whom has stretched up and cradles sam's jaw between his hands.

sam lets his mouth go, and dean's lips are practically red, swollen a little with the force of sam's kiss.

"shit--sammy." dean pants, loosely rolling his neck to the side and pressing his chest up into sam like he's a swooning maiden on the cover of a bodice ripper.

sam acquiesces, pressing his lips to the thick tendon in dean's neck, gently. no teeth. not yet. even when sam's body screams for it, the tender, delicate, unmarked skin above his jugular.

dean whimpers like a wounded animal, hands tightening on sam's arms.

"okay?" sam repeats, stronger this time.

"shit. sammy. fine. yes!" dean pants, and sam smiles, rewarding him with a kiss that dean sinks into like a warm bath. dean's fingers tilt so he can scratch at sam's stubble, and sam smiles into his mouth.

fuck. he's going to rip this kid apart.

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

If it's possible to request all the riddlers I was wondering if we could have their reaction to their s/o breast cancer scare? (Totally not me projecting)

Thanks of you do this!

❤️ anon

"Breast Cancer scare" Riddler party x Reader

First of all, I want to thank you for having patience with me on an ask that's much more personal. Second, I'm hoping by you saying scare that everything was all good? I had to get extra scans a few years back on something sketchy and I was PETRIFIED the entire time waiting for results.

TW: Cancer

Gotham

He's not going to freak out. Nope! Absolutely not. Freaking out is a thing that is not helpful to a situation like this and you don't need ANY additional stress. You notice he's stimming a lot more the past few days... His leg won't stop shaking and bouncing when he sits. He knows what cancer does to the body, he's seen it first hand. How it ravages.

This can lead to a potentially morbid road where he's trying to tell you as much about it as possible. Because if he informs you, it won't be as scary because you'll be expecting it. You'll both be prepared. The way to get this on a better route for the both of you is to have him explain the tissue scans and testing. He can tell you the entire pathology process of it. He holds your hand going through it and it seems to help.

He's going to be reviewing the scans and any results himself after they give you the medical okay. This is in fact to the annoyance of all your doctors, thank you for asking. Edward rationalizes it- No, he's not an expert but he's probably smarter than all of them put together and he knows what to look for. He just... He just wants to see for himself that there's nothing abnormal.

60s

Uncharacteristically quiet. There's no wit or jokes to be made about something like this. Mentally he runs into all the possibilities of results, treatment, how he's going to help you pay for anything you might need. What the future might hold for the two of you. For an instant, he thinks about a world without you and it's enough to feel his heart breaking.

There's these instances where you can see his normally well-kept self slipping. His hair not brushed into place. His clothing is messy and not tucked in. Holding your hand too tightly as you're called in by the doctor or the technician. Pacing for your return. Then you're back and the waiting begins. The worst part.

Then everything is okay. Results came back negative and you're completely fine. A nervous laugh. He makes a joke about your "marvelous, magnificent mammaries" being safe and sound. His insane cackle fills the air. Then he falters for a moment. Sways as though he's faint. You can see the tension physically break over his shoulders. You're alright. That's all that matters.

Capullo

That's a joke... right? It's not funny. Why would you tell him that? You know how serious that is? How is he supposed to focus on ANYTHING now? Everything is getting put on hold until you've been through testing and given the okay. Because OBVIOUSLY you're going to be okay.

Some people remark him as a vain man- which is true. There's an instance when it seems as though it could be positive for cancer. Additional testing or delays, what have you. He gets down to his knees and hugs your legs. Calmly, he tells you he's not leaving, no matter what. He'll love you if your hair all falls out, if your breasts have to be removed. None of that will change how he feels about you. He needs you to hear him say it.

As the negative results come in... He's smoothing back his hair and speaking too quickly. Good. It's good, you know? He quotes Princess Bride, “There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.” Ignore the way his hands are shaking HE'S FINE.

BTAS

What do you need? It's the first thing that falls from his mouth. What can he give you or do for you that will help in this time? Rationally speaking, he's not only trying to help you, he's trying to keep himself busy doing things for you as to not focus on the possibilities. He'll clean for you and cook for you and shop for you- Just tell him, sweetheart, and he's going to do it for you.

He will drop you off for any and all appointments but he won't stay by himself waiting. He can't. He can't stay in that place and imagine- Imagine the results. Think about what's happening to you in there even though it's standard procedures. He'll confirm about how long everything will take and be back just before you're out. He brought you lunch, your favorite :)

He finally looks tired when you're given a clean bill of health. He's been running himself ragged for this. It's what he wanted to do, but that doesn't make it less exhausting. He confirms that you're okay and then goes to sleep for almost ten hours straight.

Telltale games

Potentially the most level-headed about it. On the surface. He blinks when you tell him. He rattles off statistics about how much more likely it is you'll receive a benign diagnosis. It can come off cold but it's all an emotional defense mechanism for him.

This doesn't stop him from attending any and all appointments you're going to need for confirmation. They aren't letting him in the room, of course, but he doesn't leave the imaging center. He doesn't leave the doctors office. He sits there with a book when they tell him you'll be a while. He... can't leave you alone with this. He needs to know how it was when you come out- if you're okay.

When everything is alright he'll act as if he was never worried in the first place. See? He told you. Were you worried? Don't worry, that's what he's good at is keeping YOU grounded. It's not like if something happened to you he'd burn the world down or anything.

Arkham games

He attempts to act as though he's not freaking out about it. These things happen. No matter what, the two of you will figure it out. You'll get the results and... Whatever happens happens. Nothing can be changed now. That's just logical.

Later on, maybe even months later, you'll find plans he had developed that involved so much abduction of the top cancer researchers in the world into one laboratory space. Their entire lives, potential blackmail he could use, bribery- All of it was for you. He spiraled himself into the worst possible scenario and what he was going to have to do to make you better.

When you tell him officially that everything is in the clear, he asks if you're sure. You see his shoulders relax and he actually gets up to hug you. No smart ass response. No quips. Just a sigh.

Batman 2022/Nashton

When you tell him about the possibility, he's going through several phases of upset at one time. Denial, then anger, then depression- At some point he will lock himself into a room to have a full blown panic attack. This isn't on you. He does WANT to know something this important. It's just his emotional coping mechanisms are still horrendous and he doesn't know how to handle this. How to handle the mere idea he could lose you and there's nothing he can do.

If there is a service where you have to refresh to see results after testing, he's going to be refreshing every ten minutes on the side. If the results are even a day later than they said, he's calling. You, his lover, NEEDS to know! HE needs to know! Right now!

He does tear up when he realizes you're going to be okay. For once, it's happy tears, he's just so relieved. When you go to bed that night, he's going to big spoon you and stick like velcro.

BTAA

No, no! That's not- Listen, sweetheart, you can't get sick like that. You just can't. Because that would mean you're not okay. And if you're not okay, he's not okay! Okay? So let's just talk about this. From the top, tell him why your doctors have it in their numbskulls that you could have cancer. He's pacing back and forth. Okay. You'll get the tests. And then... he'll figure this out. You point out he's not the doctor and he waves his hand.

Gets very testy with the office when they get your appointments mixed up. He is on the phone and he is going to make someone regret their mistakes. Don't they know how important this is? How vital it is that this process goes as smoothly as possible so you can get what it is you need? Does he need to come down there and talk to a supervisor? Because he fucking will and- Yes, babe, he's fine but they can't just treat you like this!

Bundle of anxiety until the results come back. There's so much to unpack here and most of it boils down to cancer being an incredible unknown factor he has no control over. For him, that's terrifying. What if he lost you? Even after he knows everything is okay, please just let him hold you.

[techhasmjolnir]

Fill in the Blank

The Bad Batch (all members) x GN! Reader

Plot: It's not too long after you and the boys rescue Omega from Kamino, and you're trying to lie low until the heat on all of you dies down. The forest moon of Endor is your current hideaway, and you're trying to kill time one night by playing a simple game...

Author's Notes:

I apologize in advance for this, because it's exceptionally stupid, and I absolutely love it. I came up with this after having a conversation about what kinds of games the Batch might enjoy, and I casually mentioned it would be hysterical to play the classic silly party game, Mad Libs, with them. There's not much action in this story as it's heavy on dialogue, so if that's not really your thing, you might want to skip this one. If you want complete brain rot, then this is for you.

Important Notes: This can be considered a (mostly) SFW story. The NSFW content could technically constitute profanity, sexually suggestive terms, and straight up gross descriptions...you know, the way Mad Libs is supposed to be played! There's also an admixture of words from the SW universe along with common words we use on Earth. Just getting that out there before someone has to leave a comment of, “that doesn't exist in Star Wars...” Shhhh. This is my story. Be quiet.

Nobody was exactly thrilled with Tech's suggestion to seek refuge on the forest moon of Endor, but after liberating Omega from Kamino, you were left with few options for sanctuary. With credits low and rations even lower, Hunter relented, and now you've been in seclusion for nearly a galactic week while waiting to hear from a fixer you knew on Ord Mantell. Having Omega with you complicated everything, and it was a rude awakening trying to adjust to her boundless energy, enthusiasm, and curiosity. You and the guys tried to keep her occupied, but it became a struggle very quickly.

You planted the suggestion of having a bonfire one night to break the monotony of always piling back into the Marauder at nightfall, in addition to providing some type of enrichment for Omega. Omega was especially excited because she had never experienced one before, and Wrecker offered immediately to go look for kindling – with Omega in tow. You hoped this would be relaxing for everyone and at least for awhile, help take their minds off the gravity of the situation. It didn't take long for them to locate an assortment of downed branches and a few dry logs, and in minutes, Wrecker had the fire going.

“Don't get too close, 'Meg,” Wrecker cautioned. “It's real easy to burn yourself, and then you'll look like me!”

“Wrecker, don't tease her like that,” Echo chided as he slid down to the ground and leaned against a decaying tree stump. “More like, don't frighten her.”

“I'm not scared!” Omega interjected as she went to sit beside Hunter, stretching out her arms and legs, basking in the radiant heat. “I'll stay right here by Hunter, where it's safe.”

“It is safe everywhere as long as you stay close to us, Omega. For now, please try and relax,” Tech called as he emerged from theMarauder with datapad in hand, tapping on it as he sat down next to you, Crosshair on your other side.

“I see you didn't bring the spotchka with you, Tech,” you said with amusement as you nudged his shoulder. “Yes, I know all about the stash you guys have onboard. It's an unspoken rule that having a campfire means you're supposed to do at least a little imbibing. Maybe tell a few stories, dare people to do stupid things... You know, unwind and have fun.”

“Might I ask how you knew about –”

“It doesn't matter, Tech. I'll go get it. After the events of the past week, I think we could all use a drink,” Crosshair interrupted as he stood up and disappeared into the ship, and returned with not one, but several bottles cradled in his arms, and a small stack of cups balanced carefully in one hand.

Hunter glared at him disapprovingly, then looked down at Omega's small form nestled against him as if to say, “Really? In front of the kid?”

“What? One's for me and you can split the rest,” Crosshair said as he tossed a bottle to Wrecker and set the other down by you and Tech, then returned to his spot, not bothering to use a cup in favor of taking a long swig straight from the bottle.

“Well, I would say 'cheers,' but since there's not much to cheer about, how about “here's to surviving another day,” you said a little more solemnly than you intended as you raised your cup, the the rest of them following suit.

Silence reigned uncomfortably for awhile as you all started to loosen up, all the anxiety and tension leaching out with each mouthful of spotchka. You caught yourself staring across the fire at Hunter and Omega, his arm curled around her protectively. Shadows danced across her tiny face as she grew mesmerized by the way the flames licked at the firewood, and memories of you as a child sitting around fires with your friends flooded your mind. Then it dawned on you that there was a game you always used to play with them on nights like these that never failed to leave all of you exhausted from laughing.

“All right, this feels too much like a funeral, boys. This is not what having a fire is supposed to be like,” you said as you put down your cup. “I have something that should significantly lighten the mood.” You got up and everyone turned to watch you dash off to the ship, wondering what you were up to. When you returned, you held a few small books, a pen, and some water for Omega.

“Ta-da! I just remembered I had these. I keep them on hand for cheap entertainment during those long, boring hyperspace trips, when browsing the HoloNet won't suffice.”

“Hm? What do you have there?” Tech asked, adjusting his goggles as he tried to read the title of the topmost book.

“This,” you said triumphantly, “is only the greatest party game to ever exist. It's a classic on my homeworld, and I think you all might really like it. It's a word game—”

Wrecker groaned, then downed the rest of his spotchka. “A word game? That doesn't sound fun at all.”

“You didn't let me finish! This is a game for people who don't like games,” you said, purposely turning to look at Crosshair, who shrugged at you. You looked over at Wrecker and continued, “One person picks a story that has certain words omitted, and they don't tell the players what it's about. Instead, the players are asked to provide words to fill in the blank spaces in the story. When the story is finished, it's read back to the players and then they discover just how hilarious, shocking, gross, or just plain stupid their creation is. Sound like something you'd be interested in?”

“Well...when you put it like that...it doesn't sound so bad,” Wrecker replied as he poured himself another round. “Tech, you would be good at this.”

“Oh...there's just a few things you need to know before we do this,” you added. “I kind of made up my own rules with how to play, and I make it mandatory that you are to make your ideas as weird, vulgar, or...suggestive as possible. It's sort of tradition at this point.”

“Which means it's bedtime, Omega,” Hunter said. “This doesn't sound like this would be an appropriate game for you.”

“No, Hunter, please let me stay! I don't want to go to bed!” Omega protested as she stood up and brushed off her tunic, looking down at Hunter with the best pout she could muster.

“Let the kid stay, Hunter. She's been coddled enough,” Crosshair rasped after taking another long pull of spotchka. “Besides, she might come up with something better than any of us.”

“All right, fine. But if things get too out of hand, you're going to bed, Omega, and that's it,” Hunter sighed.

“That is such a dad response,” you snickered, not aware of the glare Hunter shot back at you. “All right, we're getting distracted, here. Are you guys in or out?” You started flipping through one of the books to find something that would be an easy introduction.

“I think we're in... Omega looks like she's about to launch out of excitement,” Echo chuckled.

“Good, because I've picked one out that's quite relevant. Do I need to go over the parts of speech, or is everyone set? Honestly, I think I might be more excited than Omega,” you laughed. “It's been a long time since I last played this. One thing before we begin – I don't usually ask each person individually for a word. You can all say whatever comes to mind, and I'll use the one I like best. Oh, Tech...before I forget...”

Tech turned to you with a quizzical expression on his face. “Forget what? It appears you have everything you will need, at least for the moment.”

“Remember what I said about making the stories as messed up as possible? That means I'm putting you on notice that you are going to have to offer up ideas that are completely tasteless.”

Crosshair spluttered and coughed violently, nearly choking on his spotchka. When he recovered, he started laughing so hard, you thought he was going to mess himself. “Tech speaking like a reg?! I'll believe it when I hear it! We heard him swear ONCE back when we were cadets, and we never heard him do it again.”

“I told those other cadets not to touch that droid, if you recall. It was their own fault what happened to them,” Tech replied huffily. He sighed and then looked at you. “Do I have to?” he asked, not sounding thrilled. “I do not prefer using crass language if at all possible.”

“Yes, you have to. Otherwise we are all going to goad you mercilessly all night until you do. Be a good sport, Tech. I promise it won't tarnish your reputation or insult your intelligence if you let slip a little vulgarity, okay?”

“Come on, Tech, play along and live a little,” Wrecker said as he gulped down the last of his drink, belching pleasurably and grinning at Omega, who was giggling helplessly.

“Okay, here we go. If anyone needs me to explain what a certain part of speech is, just stop me. For the first prompt, I need a plural noun.”

“Are you referring to common or proper nouns?” Tech asked. “We will require clarity before providing adequate responses.”

“Common noun, Tech. Proper nouns will be described specifically, like “a city,” or “name of person.” Stuff like that. So, guys...and Omega. What do you have? Don't be afraid to just say whatever comes to mind. That's the whole point of this game.”

It was silent for a moment until Crosshair chimed in a little too gleefully with, “street whores!”

Echo spit out his mouthful of spotchka and started coughing, while the others turned to look over at Crosshair, who had a complete shit-eating grin on his face. You, however, started laughing silently, already noting the story was destroyed with just one entry completed. Omega started giggling again and you couldn't tell if she was doing it because of Echo, or because of what Crosshair said. Your suspicions were confirmed when she leaned in and asked, “Hunter, what's a street whore?”

“I'll...tell you when you're older, kid,” he replied as he kneaded his temples, knowing by the end of the night he was going to have a massive headache, and not from the spotchka.

“Street whores, it is!” you confirmed, this time audibly laughing as you wrote it down. “For the next one, I need an adjective.” Wrecker and Omega looked at you blankly, and you added, “adjectives describe something or someone. For instance, “quiet.” As in, “Tech is being quiet.”

“Horny!” Crosshair blurted out, and this time the rest of the guys started laughing, because they finally caught on to how they were supposed to play.

“Crosshair, you're pretty good at this. Are you sure you haven't played this before?” you chuckled.

“No, but I understand the assignment better than the others, evidently. Come on, what's the next one?”

“Another plural noun. Omega, why don't you give it a shot? Don't let Crosshair have all the fun,” you encouraged.

She tapped her bottom lip and looked up at Hunter, who shook his head. You all waited patiently for her, and you saw her perk up before cheerfully offering, “pleasure droids!”

Hunter looked down wide-eyed at Omega, who was supremely proud of herself for coming up with an answer, even if she had no idea what it was she just said. He buried his face in his hands, shaking his head lightly, a muffled “what have I done” the only thing he could say.

“Pleasure...droids...” you repeated slowly, scribbling it down and inwardly laughing. “This might seem repetitive, but the next two entries are both adjectives. Are the rest of you going to play, or are Crosshair and Omega going to dominate this story?”

“Uhhhh...salacious?” Echo said with a hint of uncertainty. He looked over at Wrecker, who was deep in thought, scratching at his bald head idly.

“I have one, but...I don't know if I should say it,” Wrecker said sheepishly.

“Out with it, Wrecker. We don't have all night,” Crosshair grumbled as he peered down the neck of the bottle of spotchka, already half drained.

“Is “erotic” okay?”

You started snickering and jotted it down, trying to ignore the jeering laughter of the others over Wrecker's hesitance and inexperience. “Guys, shut the hell up, will you? At least he's trying, and for what it's worth, it works really well in the story. Now for something different, I need a regular old noun. Tech, why don't you give me something this time? You're too quiet and it's bugging me.”

“Why my silence is disconcerting to you, I do not know. I simply do not feel the need to—”

“Tech...” you warned.

He turned to look at you and it was always so evident he was plotting something because his eyes always narrowed in determination with a hint of mischievousness behind them – like right then. “While I will not indulge you with vulgarity at this moment, I will give you something that will likely surprise you, given that it is coming from me. My answer?” You watched as he cocked an eyebrow and smirked at you. “Anal probe.”

You blinked uncomprehendingly for a few moments, then came back with, “I'm sorry, but did you just say 'anal probe?'”

Everyone erupted into laughter and Tech nodded, a wry little smile on his face. “I think you will find this will be a satisfactory addition to the story, if my assumptions are correct. Please continue, for I am now most eager to hear the outcome.”

You couldn't think of a smart-ass retort as you wrote down his answer, now knowing you should never underestimate Tech's deviance ever again. Waiting to speak until everyone got themselves under control, you scanned the page and realized you're barely halfway through it and this story is fucked up. “Alright, guys, let's focus. The next one says 'person in room (last name),' but I'm the only one with a last name here, and we're not using it. So technically, I'll need the last names of two people for the next two entries.”

“This one's easy,” all eyes on Hunter as he finally spoke up. “Skywalker, and Kenobi.”

“Not bad! Not bad at all, although I wouldn't have been surprised if you had said Skywalker, and Amidala. Speaking of, didn't you guys use to have her as—”

“Uh, we don't like to bring that up. In fact, never mention this again,” Hunter cut you off, waving his hand in the universal sign of “zip it” while looking at Omega.

“Duly noted,” you replied as you penned in the next two entries. “Next up is a place, followed by another last name of a person.”

“79's!”

“Hoth!”

“The 'fresher?”

“Mos Eisley!”

“All right, everyone, enough! Omega, loved your idea about the 'fresher, but I think we're gonna go with Echo on this one, with Mos Eisley. What about the last name? You're on a roll now, so keep it going!”

A bunch of names were thrown out there, from Dooku to Chuchi, Windu to Palpatine. All of a sudden Crosshair piped up with, “Dickhead.” All chatter stopped and everyone looked over at him. “You heard me. That was what the other cadets and I always called that old sniping instructor we had. Couldn't stand that sack of sh—”

“Crosshair, enough,” Hunter said. “We'll be lucky if Omega doesn't pick up that particular habit.”

You cleared your throat loudly to get their attention, trying your hardest not to laugh. “Excellent choice, Crosshair. That fits...uh, perfectly?” You covered your face as you lost it, shaking in silent mirth, only stopping once Tech put his hand on your shoulder to see if you were all right. Wiping away tears, you gave them their next prompts. “Make these two REALLY good, okay? I need a part of the body, and a type of liquid.”

The amount of raucous laughter among the boys meant only one thing, and that it was obvious they were going to give you the most childish answers possible. When no one spoke up, you looked around and were met with sly grins. “Well? I'm waiting... I mean, if you're going the route I think you are, then I'll just write both words down right now and we'll move on,” you said, tapping your pen on the page. “All right, 'cock' it is for the body part, and cu—”

Hunter coughed loudly and you looked over to see him with his hands covering Omega's ears, although it didn't stop the girl from giggling while squirming and grabbing at Hunter's hands, trying to pry them off.

From an unlikely source came the response to your question. “Bantha piss!” Echo called out as he started laughing again, hiding his face in his hands.

“Hey, not bad, Echo! I like it! Random question – and I ask because I feel like there's probably a backstory here – but what gave you that idea?”

Crosshair sat up straight as an arrow, looking over at Echo and throwing invisible daggers at him. “Don't do it, Echo, I mean it. We agreed no one had to find out about that.”

Echo didn't have a chance to reply because Wrecker spoke up and spilled the beans. “What? You mean when we had that mission on Tatooine and you got too close to one, and then it let loose all over you? That was disgusting. You smelled for days after that!”

“Yes, thank you for reminding everyone,” Crosshair growled, returning to the bottle for a quick gulp. “Remind me to kill you later, Wrecker.”

“Children, please behave,” you teased as you turned to look at Crosshair, who was still beet red from embarrassment with a look of “if YOU fucking tell anyone else about this, I will end you” all over his face. “We're close to being done, so for the next few, I need an article of clothing, pluralized. I also need an example of a relative. As in, familial relations.” You looked over at Tech, answering the question before he could ask it.

To your surprise, Hunter provided the next piece, although he made sure he was still covering Omega's ears before he spoke. “G-strings,” he said, a crooked grin spreading over his rugged features. His hands let go of Omega and it took a moment before everyone burst out laughing again, with the poor kid looking very confused as to what was so funny.

“Okay, I'm just going to throw this out there,” you replied as you jotted down Hunter's answer. “Next chance we get, we need to find a babysitter for Omega and then get to the nearest strip joint, because you guys are dropping a LOT of hints...”

Omega tugged on Hunter's sleeve, and he dreaded what she was going to ask. “Hunter, what's a strip joint? And why couldn't I go with you?”

Hunter groaned and rolled his eyes as he reached for his cup and took a long sip. “That's another “I'll tell you when you're older” thing, Omega. “It's not something for kids.”

“Oi, what are we supposed to pick for a relative? We don't really have relatives since we're clones,” Wrecker asked, trying to get everyone on task again.

“Irrelevant, Wrecker. Just because we do not have relatives, so to speak, does not mean you cannot choose from the list of common terms for a family's hierarchy,” Tech offered. “Although...given the way this story appears to be trending, it could be quite amusing to supply a word that is not entirely accurate. Would this be acceptable?”

“Fine by me. Just give me something so we can put this baby to bed. The anticipation's starting to kill me,” you replied.

“In that case, I would like to assist. Would 'sperm donor' suffice?”

You looked over at him, your eyebrow raised in momentary confusion. “Tech, what the hell?! Did you just...?”

He chuckled and nodded only once, shooting you a knowing wink as he brought his cup to his mouth, taking a delicate sip.

“All right, I see what you did there. Quite ingenious, might I add. However, we don't need...or want any more details,” you added, waving your open hand flippantly, cutting Tech off before he had a chance to offer up any justification. “Okay, just three more, and we're finally done. By the Maker, I feel like I'm going to have crippling anxiety after all this.”

“Give it six months,” Crosshair snickered. “You haven't been with us long enough to have developed it so soon. Now, what's left? I'm low on patience...and spotchka, it appears,” he said as he swirled the near-empty bottle around.

“Uhhh, let's see. I need a piece of furniture, a verb ending in “ing,” and one last adjective.”

Thankfully, you didn't need to wait because the responses started flying.

“Couch!” “Wrecker, that's stupid. What about “inflatable bed?”

“That's not any better, Echo. Now what's stupid?!”

“TOILET!” Omega shouted as she tried to make herself heard in the growing din.

“A toilet's not a piece of furniture, kid. Where did you come up with that?” Hunter laughed incredulously.

“I have got it!” Tech exclaimed, everyone immediately shutting up, all eyes trained on him as he looked around, that devious smile of his returning. He turned to you and you knew this was going to be good. By good, you knew it would be hysterical, considering the source. “Queening chair,” he proclaimed with a smirk.

Crosshair's jaw dropped so low it was almost on the ground. This time, you had no idea what Tech was talking about, and at the moment, you really didn't want an explanation, either. “A what, Tech? Judging by that look you're giving me, it's something indecent, isn't it?”

“Extremely. You should go ask the queen of Naboo about hers,” Crosshair muttered once he collected himself.

“That rumor is entirely unfounded, Crosshair,” Tech shot back, rolling his eyes. “Unless there's something you're not telling us?”

“Not now, you two. I think we've wasted more time talking and arguing than actually trying to play this game,” Hunter shot back. He looked down at Omega, searching for any sign she was tired and needed to go to bed. Much to his chagrin, she was more wide awake than ever. “You wanna do the next one, kid? You know what a verb is, right? It's an action word, like 'run' or 'jump.' But for this one, make sure you add 'ing' at the end,” he instructed, making sure to pronounce the syllable for her instead of spelling it out.

She nodded and carefully processed that information, everyone opting to stay quiet to let her think. What came out of her next would go on to become a treasured recording in Tech's archives and the subject of nostalgic stories for years to come.

“Fucking!” she declared happily, once more completely oblivious as to what she'd just said.

For a moment you thought the guys were going to pass out, especially Hunter, whose expression was somewhere between shock and severe indigestion. “Where...where did...who taught you that?!” he said hoarsely, grabbing his cup and swallowing the last of its contents before reaching for the bottle to slop more into it.

“Crosshair did! He says it all the time,” Omega replied. “Hunter? Are you okay? You look kind of...sick.”

Hunter sighed and rubbed his eyes, his look of shock replaced with quiet resignation, followed by a menacing glare in Crosshair's direction. “Why am I not surprised? Crosshair, you know kids are like sponges! What the f—”

That's all it took to break the sniper as he dissolved into uncontrollable laughter, all of you following suit thereafter. This time, no one was able to recompose themselves. Wrecker clapped Hunter forcefully on the back, almost propelling him into the fire as tears of merriment streamed down his face. Echo was laid out flat on his back, hands over his face as he shook silently. You looked through blurry eyes over at Crosshair, who had sunk down to the ground clutching his ribs as he gasped for breath, the sight of which made you laugh even harder. Tech was doubled over, one hand on your shoulder to steady himself as another paroxysm of laughter overtook him. Omega's high-pitched shrieks of glee were by far the best thing you heard tonight, her joy and spirit exceptionally infectious.

Minutes passed before you all eventually calmed down and you were about to put pen to paper when you realized what the context of the story would be if you put in Omega's idea as is...and it was beyond inappropriate in a really bad way. Time for an immediate course correction.

“Oh, uhh...oh boy,” you said hesitantly. “Um...I normally don't do this, but I have to add another word to this so it doesn't turn into something completely morally reprehensible.”

Tech stopped cleaning his goggles, which he had taken off to wipe at his eyes. “I do not understand. What could be so—”

“Trust me, you don't want to know. You'll figure it out when I read this back.” You jotted something down and then reached down for the bottle of spotchka to drink deeply, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “Captain Adverb to the rescue, thank the Maker. This is it, guys...one last word. All I need is an adjective. You got this?”

“Bring it on!” Wrecker said boisterously, waving the spotchka bottle around, nearly clipping Hunter in the back of the head with it.

Since Omega opened the door for it, no one bothered watching their language now as they threw out all sorts of outlandish ideas, none of them quite what you felt were funny enough to close out the story. Tech had gone quiet again, and you knew he had something up his sleeve. You looked over at him and that evil little grin was back.

“You advised me earlier that I needed to provide some kind of suggestive or vulgar response, correct?”

“Out with it, Tech. I know you've got something good cooking upstairs.”

“I thought that was obvious. I deduced that answers with...creative...terms involving body parts seem to be the most entertaining for all of you. Therefore, I would like to offer my response.”

“Tech, just say it! Why do you have to be so difficult?!” Crosshair griped as he quaffed the last of his spotchka.

Tech rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, solidly ignoring Crosshair's jab. “For your consideration, I would like to give you an adjective that is most...” He paused, trying to be dramatic in his own way as he looked around, seeing everyone waiting on him. “...Rectally stimulating.”

You looked down at the story for a moment, and realizing what that did to the context of it made you drop your pen on the ground. Immediately, both hands came to your face as you broke into helpless, muffled laughter.

“Tech, you'd better not have ruined the story,” Wrecker said accusingly.

You pulled your hands away from your face and sniffled as you rubbed your eyes and shook your head. “He didn't ruin anything, Wrecker. In fact, he provided the absolute perfect finish. Now, hold onto something, because— Wrecker, you can let go of Hunter...that was a figure of speech. Anyway, may I present to you a most entertaining narrative, called 'CAMPFIRE STORIES.'”

“Are you serious? That's a little on the nose, don't you think?” Crosshair groaned.

“Of course I chose this one on purpose! Now, check this out.” You made a production out of loudly clearing your throat, taking a deep breath and exhaling forcefully.

“It is always fun to chop up some street whores and use them to build a horny campfire. Then you get all of the pleasure droids to sit around the fire and tell scary stories. You can tell about Ichabod Crane, the salacious schoolteacher of Sleepy Hollow and his erotic adventures with the headless anal probe. Or you can tell “The Fall of the House of Skywalker,” which was written by Edgar Allen Kenobi. Or you can tell about vampires from Mos Eisley, like the terrible Count Dickhead, who bit people on the cock and drank their bantha piss. By this time, many of the young campers will start shaking in their G-strings and begin yelling for their sperm donor and go hide under the queening chair. Believe me, when it comes to fucking up a bunch of kids, there's nothing like a real rectally stimulating ghost story.”

*****

As you expected, the aftermath of reading that story was nothing short of utter chaos. Crosshair ended up laughing so hard, he disappeared somewhere into the darkness to vomit as quietly as he could before stumbling back to the ship. The others excused themselves quickly, still laughing as they almost tripped over each other in their haste as they made a mad dash back to the Marauder, leaving you and Omega behind wondering what just happened.

After everyone cleared out, you started hearing noises back in the forest that almost sounded like chittering laughter. Omega heard it too, and came to sit by you, pressing herself into your side as you wrapped your arm around her. A chill ran down your spine when you were sure you heard something rustling back in the undergrowth, and you didn't even have so much as your vibroblade with you for protection.

“Guys...please hurry! I think there's something out here!” you purposely yelled, hoping if there was some kind of animal lurking around, you would scare it away.

“I don't like this,” Omega whispered, nudging herself up so close to you, it felt like she was trying to crawl under your skin. “When are my brothers coming back?”

You did your best to try and keep her calm, squeezing her tightly. “I don't know, sweetheart, but stay calm. It'll be okay. Hunter should be back any moment now.”

As if on cue, the guys came filing back in with Hunter in the lead, his blaster drawn. “I heard you yelling. Did you see anything? Are you all right?”

“We're fine, but we definitely heard something that sounded like laughing, and like something walking around dangerously close to the camp site. Scared the shit of out of Omega and me. What took you guys so long?”

Then you noticed that Hunter wasn't wearing his blacks – he was wearing his sleep clothing, and as Wrecker and the others stepped closer to the fire, you could see the same thing, in varying configurations. No one was wearing what they previously had on, and then it dawned on you what happened. This would be a memory forever burned into your mind: the night when a ridiculous story made five grown men soil themselves from laughing.

You decided to spare them the embarrassment of asking why they changed clothes, and as Tech retook his spot next to you, he leaned close and whispered, “thank you for not asking the obvious...that would be a source of embarrassment that we would not want to try to explain to Omega.”

“I'll take this to the grave with me, Tech. Not a word.” You picked up one of the books and held it aloft, shaking it lightly. “Now...do I dare ask if you guys want to do another one? Someone else can write this time, because I want to play and show you how an old pro does this.”

Omega finally loosened her death grip on you and got up, going to Wrecker who gently picked her up, letting her settle in his arms as Tech reached over and took one of the books and your pen. “I would like to pick one, if it is quite all right.” He flipped through the pages and stopped as he found a blank story. “Yes...this will do nicely. Everyone, your first entry must be a plural noun.”

You stretched out your arms and cracked your knuckles, chuckling softly. “Two words, boys. Edible thongs.”

[devilsvenom]

@nolanxthatcher - What Was I Made For? by Billie Eilish

I used to float, now I just fall down...

Feet controlled her instead of the other way around, didn't know where she was going until she was there. Annalise blinked once, twice, as if blinking herself awake; faltering when she realised whose door she found herself in front of. The smart thing would be to turn around, leave. He didn't give a single shit about her, and in fact she truly believed she could count on one hand the people that did. He used to be on that list, didn't he? She couldn't remember now.

I used to know, but I'm not so sure now...

Battling with herself, but did she really have the energy to go elsewhere? She felt like she could collapse right here and sleep through the night. Hand lifted of it's own accord, knuckles rapping at the door. She stood, waiting for him to answer, practically swaying on the spot. Things had gotten so messed up; how had they gotten so messed up? Brothers best friend, a friend, a lover, an enemy. Familiarity. Something she was desperate for. Couldn't get it from her parents, for fear she may kill them if she saw them again. Didn't want to bother her sister, who already had far too much on her plate. One more addition and it might shatter, then that would be two siblings lost. Parents, siblings, friends, enemies... Where had they all gone? Did she do this? Did she get so scared to lose people that she pushed them before they could leap?

What was I made for?

Annalise felt like she had been stood there for an eternity, though she wasn't sure Nolan would ever trust her enough to open the door and let her into his home, not now. Not after everything he'd done to make her hate him, despise him, plot her revenge. Revenge. God, that was a long time ago, wasn't it? Did she even want it anymore? Her brain so foggy, so dampened with everything she couldn't think about what she wanted.

Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real...

"Nolan, please." She called out, trying to keep the break in her voice hidden, unknowing if someone was even on the other side. Voice was hoarse, raspy, from being out searching for her brother. She had been out for hours - days? - and when she couldn't find him, after all that research and nothing showing up, she had resorted to screaming his name until her throat was so raw it hurt to even breathe. "Just today, lets go back a few years. Please. Open the door." Tears pricked at bloodshot eyes, staring at the closed door that she didn't even have the hope to think would open. "I need my big brothers best friend." And yet, he didn't exist anymore.

I'm sad again.

[munchkin1156]

I have fallen (but have faith, for I shall rise once more)

. . .

Borrower Techno with rest of sbi as god's? More likely than you think :D

2.2k words for part one, definitely going to make a part two because I'm not about to LEAVE y'all on a cliffhanger like that.

(Cw: Blood, injuries, mention of death (non happens) swearing, angst, accidental fearplay and Techno passes out due to blood loss.)

Hope you enjoy my (technically) first addition to the mcyt g/t community from my user!

. . .

Technoblade wasn’t like other borrowers.

Other borrowers didn’t have voices in their heads, who screamed at him for blood, grew emotionally attached to the most random things, or know things that helped him evade capture multiple times.

Other borrowers didn’t have memories that never existed, searing into his brain at moments when he loses themselves, of friendships with beings of power, of him being a being of power, of falling from the clouds for a crime he did not do.

When his sword is stained red from those who wronged him, then in his head it rings. When the voices, or as he called them, Chat, started chanting. It never made sense, what they chanted.

Blood for the blood god

And it scared him, not knowing what it meant. But he couldn’t dwell on it now, just like he couldn’t dwell on it yesterday. He was a borrower, and that meant he needed to borrow.

Techno stepped outside of the comfort that was the shelter that he had been using for the past week. Being a wandering borrower, he didn’t have a home, exactly. He wandered from place to place, travelling lightly and swiftly, being able to escape at a moment's notice.

He had bases in some places, so he could restock and rest for a bit, but he was exploring a new area and that came with the consequence of not knowing where safety lay, so if a bean were to see him, he might not be able to get out of there fast enough.

But it wouldn’t come to that. Techno was an amazing borrower, and his motto was literally ‘Technoblade never dies’. He started walking through the long grass, humming to himself. He wouldn’t get caught, he was certain of it.

So why did he feel so uneasy?

. . .

“Hey- Hey! Stop it!” He whispered, whipping his sword out as an act of defence. The crow squawked defiantly but didn’t stop trying to pick him up with its beak.

Techno groaned. Crows were always nice to him, and they were one of the few things that gave him those memories other than blood. 

Memories of black wings surrounding him, feeling safety and warmth, and when he looked into those eyes-

Other things that did this were music, especially guitars or discs, the colour red, and that one statue. It had been in some rich fucker’s garden, and from what he had overheard the people in it were gods, whatever that was.

Their names, according to the beans he had been eavesdropping on, were Philza, Angel of Death, a golden blonde man with large black crow wings, a fatherly expression on his face as he stared at Soot, the god of music and chaos, a brunette who was laughing and ruffling the hair of Innit, god of discs and the wilderness.

And, standing a little bit away from the others, was a statue with its head gone. According to one of the beans, it was because they had been banished from the kingdom above, for a crime so terrible, and therefore been erased from history.

He also heard them say that it turned out to be an accident, that DreamXD, had framed him. But by that time it was discovered, it was too late, and he had been cast down, though it is said those three gods still search for him, in the hopes that they could bring him back.

They said his name was Blade, the god of war and blood. And that’s how he got his name. 

Technoblade.

And, another funny thing is, no matter how hard he sees those gods as Philza, Soot, and Innit, like the man described, some hidden part of his mind changes that to Phil, Wilbur, and Tommy. But that was beside the point.

The point was, that no matter how nice the crows were to him, they kept trying to take him somewhere.

Usually, they’d stop if he complained or shouted, or drew his sword (never intending to kill, just to scare them off) and they’d stop. But this one was even more persistent, and Techno realised now that he’d either have to fight it (something he would like to avoid if possible, he liked crows and they sometimes brought him gifts) or run.

He chose the latter, dashing to the side the moment the crow grabbed him. It squawked in outrage and Techno realised that it couldn’t chase after him on foot, with its legs like sticks. Birds were meant to fly, not walk.

‘Looks like I win this time, eh?’

He thinks, grinning to himself. The crow that he escaped from cawed loudly, and he only had a split second to wonder what that could mean before another crow SWOOPS down out of nowhere and yoinks (he’s not even sure what that word means but it seems about right for this situation) him up in its claws.

He had jinxed it. Techno didn’t believe in superstition, but he was certain that was what had happened.

The pinkette struggled in the crow's grasp, desperate to get free before it took him to… Well, wherever it was taking him. But it was no use. He wondered why it was so determined to bring him wherever it was going. Techno supposed he’d find out, soon enough.

Eventually, after a few minutes of flying, the borrower noticed something very, very strange. The crow was taking him up. And by that, he meant really, really high up. The world below was barely visible, as they went higher and higher, through the clouds.

And once they came out of the clouds, Techno couldn’t believe his eyes.

“The kingdom above… Fucking hell it’s real…”

He muttered to himself in awe. It was made out of pristine white shining material that might’ve been made out of the clouds themselves, with magical glowing lanterns floating in the air.

Techno’s first thought was that it belonged to the ruler of this kingdom, or at least some kind of person in power, I mean it was so fine and well-kept that it had to be, right? Wrong.

On closer inspection, he realised that the people walking down below were… Normal. This was a normal town here, and these were normal civilians.

The crow flew past it though, taking Techno with it. Its wingbeats never slowed, and it showed no sign of tiredness. This was no ordinary crow, he was sure of it.

And this was no ordinary place. Chat had stopped talking altogether, and his mind felt as if it was his own, at last. It was as if someone wanted him to be peaceful, but that was silly since he was literally getting kidnapped by a bird.

What a great day Techno was having, right?

Aaaaand now the crow was flying down, towards three people that looked awfully familiar, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it and then-

Oh fuck that’s Philza, Soot and Innit. He’d recognize them anywhere, after the incident with the statue. Oh, he’s fucked. He’s going to die, oh stars he needs to get out of this mess-

‘But aren’t the gods his family?’

He brushed that thought off with a shudder. Why on earth did he keep thinking stuff like that!? It didn’t make any sense, and you better believe that he was gonna get to the bottom of this.

Not today though. He was about to get caught by some of the most powerful beings in the entire universe, and he’d actually rather not. He valued his life, after all. So he did what any self-respecting borrower would do and fucking stab the bird.

Techno hadn’t particularly wanted to stab the crow. As he might’ve mentioned before, he liked crows. There just hadn’t been another choice. 

And it had worked.

The crow dropped him with a screech, alerting the three gods immediately. Their gazes fell on the bleeding crow who flew over to them with a lot of effort and landed on Philza’s outstretched arm. It healed almost instantly.

But the pinkette didn’t know any of this, because he happened to be falling when that situation had played out. And when Techno hit the ground, he felt his body scream out in pain and his head ring in agony.

The world around him felt loud and blurry. His head seemed to be sticky with what he could only assume was blood. He forced himself to stand, he needed to get out of here, needed to be safe-

Chat was back now,  just as incoherent and jumbled as his thoughts, and from what he managed to make out, delusional. They kept saying something about… Dadza? Who the hell was- Oh. Wait what!?

So Chat was no help. 

Techno winced. He couldn’t think, everything was just so loud and it hurt so damn much and he couldn’t understand and oh fuck did one of the Gods? beans just spot him and oh no they’re all walking towards him now.

The borrower’s eyes widen, and he couldn’t help but shrink back as the three gods towered over him, eyeing him over with such a strange expression of hope and longing that made Techno wonder if he actually was delusional.

The silence was broken when one of the gods, Innit, spoke up, voice breaking slightly and eyes glazed, as if holding back tears.

“Holy shit… Is it him? Like, really him?”

Philza responded, managing to sound calm and yet so desperate that it made Techno’s cold heart shatter, though he was not sure why.

“I don’t know Tommy (wait WHAT-), why don’t we ask him instead of talking over his head?” The angel of death suggested, and now they were all staring at him again, possibly even more intensely than before.

“So,” Philza said curiously. “Who are you, why did you stab my crow and why did it try to bring you here?”

There was no malice in his voice, it was just confusion and subtle amusement, but that just made Techno’s nerves worse. The only reason he could think of that would involve the god being amused about his half-dead state was-

Oh fuck, were they going to torture him?

“I’m Technoblade,” He said, after a few moments of hesitation. The pinkette ignored the sharp gasp of air from above, acting like he didn’t hear it, because he did not want to think of why the god might be shocked, and instead continued.

“I stabbed your crow because I was about to get seen (and look how that ended up) and I have no clue why it brought me here.” Techno knew it was not a smart idea to lie to a god, and he was anything but stupid. His injuries throbbed painfully, but the gods either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

Techno wasn’t about to guess which one…

After a very long while (in which Techno was trying his absolute hardest not to die on the spot) Soot spoke up. “So that’s a- a yes, then? It’s him?” He asked, voice cracking slightly. “Yes, Wilbur, (WHAT THE FUCK) It’s really him.”

The borrower didn’t have time to question what in the world he meant by that, because at that moment  Philza reached down, and Techno realised what was about to happen a second too late.

He scrambled backwards as the hand came towards him, absolutely terrified out of his wits, but the god paid no mind to that, plucking him off the ground by his waist easily. 

Techno struggled in his grasp but fell limp almost immediately. There was no way he was escaping from Philza, even though he wanted to, and besides, it just made his injuries worse. The tight grip the god had him in didn’t help either.

“What do you want from me!?”

He shouted, glaring at the gods, though it quickly fell as he remembered how easily they could crush him. Soot made a small noise (pity?) but he ignored it. “You- you really don’t remember us?” Asked Innit, with a look of despair on his face.

‘Remember you? I’ve never seen you before in my life!’ 

Not in this one you haven’t.

 Responded one of the voices, before it faded back into the clutter of noise. “Chat?” Philza asked, and Techno almost responded with ‘Yeah, it’s making no sense…’ when he remembered that he never told them about Chat.

Something clicked behind Soot’s eyes, and he spoke up. “So you really don’t know who we are… Right?” Techno nodded. Where exactly was (Wilbur) Soot going with this? “So that means…” “Means what? I’m not about to sit around all day waiting while you give me half-formed answers,” the borrower responded, with more challenge in his tone than was wise.

It’s not like you could stop them from doing that…

Said another one of those loud voices unhelpfully. ‘Thanks a lot…’ He thought to himself irritatedly and stared at Soot expectantly, which was harder than it seemed because his eyes kept unfocusing, and the corners of his vision were blurry and stained red. ‘Blood?’

“Listen, Technoblade, I don’t know what species you think you are, but…” He hesitated again, before continuing.

“You're a god, and our brother, at that.” Soot paused, and then started saying something more. “I’m so glad we finally found you, we’ve-”

But Techno didn’t get to hear what they’d done, the blood loss had finally caught up to him, and he passed out, darkness now surrounding him as he finally drifted into a dreamless sleep.

. . .

Aaaaaand that's it, folks! Great ending we got there, right? Hope you liked it :] Big thanks to Beckyu for helping me choose how to end it, and start next chapter.

That reminds me...

@i-am-beckyu and @brick-a-doodle-do, thank you for wanting to be tagged! If you want to be tagged, comment, ask or dm me and I'll add you! :D

Bye for now!!!

[thelazyhermits]

The poll results are in! The majority of the voters chose the "post before next Halloween; do as you please with the plot" option, so it looks like that's what I'll be doing. Thank you to everyone who took the time to vote! ^^

For the record, this fic won't be coming anytime soon since I can't start writing it until the event ends, and it's doubtful that I can get it all written by the time I finish posting my GloMas fic, so after that fic ends in Dec, I'll start posting a different event fic, which will be the longest one to date and will last until late March.

Also, depending on when the Tsum Part 3 event reaches the ENG server and if I'll have that fic written by the end of March, I might create a poll where y'all can choose between that fic and the newest Halloween fic regarding which fic I'll start posting at the end of March since I know how popular the tsums are, so it's possible the Halloween fic won't get posted until like May/June if the tsum fic beats it in the poll.

I have more I wanna say about the "do as you please with the plot" part of the winning poll option, and I'll put it underneath the cut since it'll contain Halloween event spoilers.

Okay, so first off, I wanna say that I don't wanna just completely go off the rails with the fic's plot. I would like to include as much canon content as I can if possible.

The thing is, I'm not a huge fan of how a lot of things have been handled in the event, such as the lack of thrills and chills in the NRC guys' idea for how to celebrate Halloween, which really just sounded like a child's birthday party imo cause of the lack of a horror element and the large amount of catering toward children, even though there aren't even that many kids in Halloween Town lol

Like, seriously, those guys had no leg to stand on when they were calling Skully's ideas boring cause I thought their overall idea was pretty boring too, and I'm really surprised none of the Halloween Town residents said as much, especially the kids who are way more interested in scaring people than eating sweets and singing lol 😂

So, in addition to having Yuu have a closer relationship to Skully cause of how my Yuu is, which I think would affect how Skully acts in the event, I would definitely do more with the Halloween plans cause, no matter how much my Yuu hates horror and the like, even she can't stand by and allow such a lackluster Halloween to happen in Halloween Town of all places since she has a lot of love for the NBC crew.

I really wanna spice up this event by throwing in more danger/suspense since this is Halloween Town - a town where things are supposed to get scary, and up until Skully finally snapped, the only action that happened was the NRC boys butting heads and that's a normal Tuesday at NRC so that gets old quick lol

I also want more Oogie Boogie, who has yet to show up in the event, although it's entirely possible he will in the next update. While I want Skully to get lots of attention, being the new guy and all, I don't want Oogie Boogie to lose the spotlight as a result cause an NBC event that takes place in a game focused on Disney villains wouldn't be complete without the Boogeyman, you know?

That's why it'll probably take me a little while to write this fic cause I'm gonna be creating a lot of original content, and I haven't completely decided yet what all I wanna do with the plot, although I'm hoping I'll get a clearer idea once the event is complete.

Anyway, thank you again for voting! I really hope y'all will like my version of this event! ^-^

[daymeeawn]

DayMiiAwn And The Magic Railroad (Director's Cut)

I feel I'm one of the few people who really likes the Magic Railroad Deleted Storylines. Here are some random thoughts on it.

For starters P.T. Boomer wasn't at all what I expected, but I enjoyed him none the less. It was weird how Doug Lennox delivered certain lines ("It's gonna be mine, all mine" is just begging to be said in an over-the-top maniacal voice), but there was a lot of restraint to the performance that made the character feel more real and menacing. He was basically just the aged-up version of how a playground bully would behave in this kind of movie, and I think it adds some relatability to the dynamic between him and Burnett. This is more a personal note, but I find characters (not just villains in specific) who are willing to carelessly destroy other people's belongings to be deeply upsetting, so watching him stroll through Burnett's garden and punching Mr. Conductor's flower basket might have really scared me as a kid, which I'm not saying is a bad thing. Funnily, I think the general character trait of disrespecting nature is pretty good for Boomer. It could be a nice additional subtext to the movie, if the steam engines themselves weren't so bad for the environment.

I don't really mind the lack of engine characters. Before the workprint and deleted storylines released, I was only really interested in the missing Sodor scenes, but when these things released with so little to offer, I took the time to really watch these new human scenes, and I think together they make a perfectly compelling story about familial discourse. Burnett is the grandfather. In Lily's eyes, that means he's supposed to be a warm, welcoming figure. But ever since the love of his life passed away, Burnett has become a recluse, contacted only by his far away family and his occasional errand boy Patch. Lily no longer enjoys visiting her grandpa, but if finally forced when her father is away on business and her mother is about to give birth. She crafts him a friendship bracelet, which her grandma taught her to make, in the hopes that it will finally cheer him up. Despite how mature Lily makes herself out to be, she still maintains a childish mentality about the whole thing, that because Burnett is the grandpa, he's supposed to remain a consistently positive presence. When Lily does arrive, she shares a deathly quiet dinner with her grandpa, in what is probably the least cheerful scene filmed for the movie. Afterward, she shows Burnett the bracelet and tries in vain to put it on him. Burnett pushes her away. Lily goes to bed, and only after she's gone is Burnett willing to let his grief show. The next day, Lily tries to casually bring up the subject of her grandma, and Burnett plays dumb. Sick of trying to connect with him, Lily storms off to where she ends up meeting Patch. It's good to know why she looked so pissed off in the finished movie.

Patch is hardworking, loyal, and deeply respects his elders like Billy and Burnett. Though he comes off as kind of a blank slate in the final movie, in the deleted scenes he's one of the nicest characters in the movie. Just his willingness to maintain long, wistful stories from old men proves that he has the patience of a saint. He's just a good, old fashioned country boy who's willing to help anyone. He brings Lily to Shining Time Station, then leaves for a while to do one of his many errands. And when he returns Lily is missing. Patch has shown interest in the mysterious before, but he's never shown any awareness of the magical properties of Shining Time, so when Lily simply disappears, he doesn't know what to think, leading to my favorite Cody McMains performance in the whole movie, where he sounds genuinely distraught by everything that's taken place. Something I find interesting is how Burnett's grief over his wife and his grief over Lady are treated as two wholly different plotlines, one pertaining more to Lily and the other pertaining to Boomer. Patch sits in the middle of both conflicts, and it's a little awkward watching him juggle all the different roles he needs to fill. Most noteworthy is the scene where he shamefully admits to Burnett that he doesn't know where Lily is. That Burnett put his trust in Patch, and Patch failed him. Surprisingly, Burnett isn't angry, but as he quietly walks away, Patch then flip-flops to questioning him about the lost engine, and even gets sort of interrogative with him, when he was just apologizing to him a moment ago. Then Boomer shows up, and tries to bribe Patch for information in what's actually a kind of creepy scene. Here is where Patch shows him true colors. He stands by Burnett and refuses Boomer's offer, and it's the most firm he's ever been with someone. Here we get the complete version of Lady's backstory, which was senselessly chopped in half in the final version of the film. Presenting the big reveal scene in two separate halves makes Patch visiting Burnett in his secret workshop look like a common occurrence, and doesn't really achieve the same impact the scene was written with the intent to have.

Lily leaving to go to Shining Time is when the wedge in her relationship with Burnett is driven the furthest. Burnett knows where Lily went, and in his eyes, it means she doesn't want to be around him. In Lily's eyes, Burnett is just some sad sack who wants to wallow in his own misery, and sees her presence as a burden. Meanwhile, on Sodor, Lily has observed the behaviors of Mr. Conductor and Junior, one a responsible gentleman, the other a party dude, and when they're together, they never stop arguing. Yet, when Junior is abducted, Mr. Conductor is deeply concerned about him, because in the end, they're family, and they love one another unconditionally. When Mr. Conductor explains this to Lily at the campfire, he's not lecturing her, he's simply stating a fact, then asks her opinion. Lily seems to reject the idea momentarily, but slowly realizes there's nothing there to disagree with. She does love her grandfather, no matter what mood he's in. She decides to go home. She reunites with Burnett, and the two finally share a heart-to-heart. Burnett opens up about his grief for Tasha, and manages to tie it back into his failure with Lady. This time, when Burnett shows a slight hesitance to speak, Lily supports him, rather then running away. Lily tightens the bracelet around Burnett's wrist. He doesn't push her away. Tasha and Lady are intrinsically tied. Bringing Lady back also honors Tasha's memory. From here, Burnett is like a different character. Even during the chase scene, where he vicariously confronts Boomer, he seems to have a playful attitude about the whole thing. That's the hidden beauty of the chase scene, I think. Burnett is enjoying it the same way the audience is enjoying it.

In the final movie, we don't see Burnett or Lily again after the transition from the bluebird, but of course, in the workprint and deleted storylines, Lily narrates the story' conclusion, and shows us that after coming home, Burnett was willing to let people into his life again. Inviting the whole family over to visit and reconnecting with Billy Twofeathers. He lived out the rest his days peacefully. Patch, by allying himself with the side of good, not only got to see the sights of Sodor, but would also end up marrying Lily, showing how this strange experience helped him form lifelong bonds. And our protagonist Lily has learned the true value of family. Oh, and Thomas is there too.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hi, im indigo and im looking for advice and validation. tw transphobia, sexual assault, incest, infantillization (kind of? it feels that way)

I'm nonbinary transmasc, and i want to start transitioning but i have fears.

On one hand i'm scared of coming out to my family, because i keep fearing they will say it's because of my uncle who molested me that i feel uncomfortable with my body. I don't want them to think that, especially since i've known before i was assaulted, but i don't know how i can convince them. I dont want to start behind their backs but i dont know how they'd react

On the other hand, i am kinda scared that it DID influence me. Before i was ok not getting on hormones because i didn't want a few effects, but now im considering it a lot more because im sick of being mistaken for a minor, even more when i'm passing as a man. I was 18 when i was assaulted, but if you don't know me it's easy to give me 5 years younger because of my height, face and voice. And it's really getting on my nerves, but id feel bad if that's the reason id take hormones, i dont want what happened to dictate my identity and risking people taking advantage of it to belittle me.

Im just kind of lost, and it's not something that i can easy talk about with others, so im hoping to get some advice here

Hi indigo,

I'm sorry to hear about what you went through. Please know that it's okay if your trauma has at least some influence on how you perceive yourself and your gender identity. Especially if you experienced gendered violence, that could become so intertwined with your identity that it feels safer to be something else.

When I experienced CSA, I soon after came out as FTM. I felt that femininity had caused me trauma and pain, and for me I associated it with being docile and voiceless. When I identified as male, I felt like I was reclaiming my power and starting fresh. As time went by, I slowly regained a healthier relationship with my femininity and now consider myself femme nonbinary. But it's absolutely possible to process and heal from your trauma without invalidating or reverting your gender identity. I'm sharing my story with you because I think it might resonate with you and also help you to consider that you're not alone in feeling this way. Your identity is not the "problem", it's the trauma.

Regardless of how much influence your trauma has over your identity, it is valid. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist (ideally one who specializes in working with queer folks) could help you process your trauma and navigate how your gender identity may or may not be related, as well as help you explore any fears in coming out to your family. If anyone has any additional comments or suggestions, please feel free to respectfully add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[reasonsforhope]

Thank you, stranger, for making this blog. You are truly a kind, beautiful soul. Thank you for existing for the world. Many of us appreciate you!!!! Thank you!!!!! /vvvvvvvgen

...now to me. I'm sorry for adding for your huge askbox as is, genuinely...

I naturally, without thinking, don't act like my real personality because it's been shunned dozens of times across my entire life. It's not fundamentally flawed (I know that, 100%--we all have flaws, ad I absolutely wasn't a terrible person for expressing them). Nonetheless, all I know is that the person I act like everyday of my life since I finally snapped and started doing this whole thing two years ago -- almost three -- is not who I really am. You know when you put on a shoe that, while your foot can fit inside and you can walk around just fine, you know it's just not your size because it doesn't feel right at all? That's me and my "personality"...people thought I was weird when I showed my genuine personality. I was just...pretty different than most. some comments I've got on my old personality:

"You're ...... Weird." (said with a thinly hid derogatory tone)

"Stop. You're not one of us."

"Why are you talking like that?"

"Sensitive. No one likes you."

And the one that finally made me snap:

"Stupid." (the person who said this then continued top he conversation as normal. Not acknowledging my stunned reaction.)

In addition, for a couple months I got treated like a dog. A literal dog.

I basically got treated like an outcast.

I know the personality I've left buried for so long has grown on its own, with me. It wasn't totally neglected and in fact is still here. It's just hidden behind this mask...which I can't take off. Because I literally don't know how. It's become such a habit to be someone else that I don't even fully, consciously know who I genuinely am today...it's hard. I hurt. A lot. I'm terrified of being vulnerable in any way, now. Just curled up in a shell.

...what am I to do? Where am I even going to begin? I feel lost. All I know, in the depths of my heart, that there is hope. There is always hope yet. That is something I've always known.

So what now? I'm scared, tired, and unsure. Is there anything I can do, anymore, at all? To figure out, and then be, who I know I am, deep down?

Thank you for reading, if you did. From the bottom of my heart--thank you. Thank you.

Sincerely,

#🎈🌠🐘

<3 <3 <3

Thanks so much <3 And fwiw for anyone wondering, it's not HUGE huge, I've got like 45 asks and dms to get to, but it still feels pretty big for me, a person who has def never had that happen before. Hoping to try to answer a batch of 2-4 of them on the weekends

Also, in terms of the rest of it.... Sorry if I'm overstepping, and definitely not to do that "diagnose people over the internet shit," but have you ever looked into whether you might be autistic or some other flavor of neurodivergent. Because as an autistic person, I see a Lot of my own experiences in what you've written

Regardless of whether you have or not, and whether you're autistic or not, I definitely know what it's like to deal with that kind of shit and bullying, and how trying to mask your own differences can twist you up inside. I had a problem with compulsively lying for a while in high school because of how ingrained "covering for myself" became - so I get how unsettling it feels when this shit becomes something you can't consciously control

Because there's so much overlap, I'd actually recommend looking into books and resources from the autistic community in masking and the difficulty of unmasking, regardless of whether you're autistic or not. A lot of the traumas are similar, too, so if you're at that level of "burying," I really think you'll be able to get something out of it no matter what

(This applies to anyone reading this who has also had to deal with that kind of shit or has found themselves doing something similar.)

Also, you should definitely look into trauma work (and "complex PTSD") and see if there's anything helpful to you there--there's a lot of really effective, evidence-based stuff out there about how to untangle your nervous system, because that kind of social rejection and isolation is absolutely/inherently traumatizing

Some Resources

Masking stuff:

Seven Steps to Unmasking as a Neurodivergent Person

What Is Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)? from Healthline

Autism Masking: To Blend or Not to Blend from Healthline

This is an assessment for social masking. It's written about autism, but I think a good amount of it would be applied to other types of masking like this.

Trauma stuff:

What Is Rejection Trauma? from TherapyMantra

Healing from Rejection Trauma from CPTSDFoundation.org

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo

And if none of that helps you...there's definitely a lot of other stuff out there. There's things like journaling, which are a huge help with this sort of thing. Figuring out who you are underneath it all takes time and feels super weird and it's not easy, but I have faith you can do it. Don't give up, just keep moving forward

[circular-bircular]

I hope it's alright to ask a question like this! As a system who hopes to work with children in the future, I'd like to ask if you've found that having childhood trauma affects how you work with kids or how it feels to work with them. We get scared a lot that working with kids might somehow trigger us or make us feel unhappy just because we had a bad childhood, and while I know you and I do not have the same childhood and probably won't have the exact same experiences I think asking someone about this could give us some good insight :) However I know that this could be maybe an uncomfy question? so please don't feel like you're under any obligation to answer!!! I hope you have an amazing day!!!! - Sleepy of @endless-hourglass

I'm so sorry it took me so long to get back to you! I joined a group blog recently and my inbox got absolutely buried!

Childhood trauma has absolutely impacted my ability to teach kids. It's been... so terrifying and so interesting and so useful, being the way I am. I'm actually going to plug this under the cut, because it can be intense, looking into all this, and I'm also about to RAMBLE. Teaching and how trauma impacts people are the two biggest passions of mine to discuss.

Trauma has impacted how I teach massively. I will say, teaching is absolutely my passion, and I adore my job. I'm so happy I get to be there for these kids, that I get to take care of them and help them grow and become better people.

Note: TW for trigger talk, trauma mentions, and mentions of depression, sui, and sh.

It is also hard as shit and I amaze myself each day for being able to handle this garbage.

Teaching in a school is absolutely triggering. You have to deal with ableism constantly, reminders of your past that you'd rather forget about, and kids being kids. Sometimes, it's not even shit you can help. I've had students who share the name of one of my abusers, many times, and just seeing that name was enough to make me dissociate horribly.

... However.

That does not make it inaccessible. It just means you have to adapt.

At work, the majority of staff (and by that I mean, those who speak with me and the relevant administration) know that I have "memory problems" and need "additional reminders." If ever asked, or if I felt the need to share, I've mentioned that I have a "mental disorder that impacts memory acquisition." I've been incredibly upfront about having autism, and I've shared with a handful of teachers that I have "an incredibly severe/what is considered one of the most severe trauma disorders." One teacher knows I have dissociative identity disorder -- she's a bestie of mine.

The reason I shared these things? Accommodations. My work has been incredibly happy to work with me, particularly because it's obvious I'm willing to do what needs to get done to not only appease the standards, but do my best for the students. I take this shit seriously, I get good results, and so they need me to stay. If that means sending a few more reminder emails than is usually expected, all the better.

This, obviously, doesn't cover for everything. I can call my administrator to get 5 minutes out of class because, "I'm triggered right now and need a breather," but that doesn't negate the effects of the trigger on me, and I still need to handle it. So I do. That's the beautiful thing about teaching for me: I can not only learn to handle my shit, but I can teach the kids how to handle theirs.

For instance: The student I had with my abusers name. I saw it and I immediately dissociated pretty harshly. I couldn't handle seeing her name. It hurt too badly and brought out our protector (who, funny enough, hates teaching. He deals with it since we all enjoy it, though).

So, here's what I did: I got good. No, literally. I mean, it would've been horrific for that poor child if I asked her to use a nickname in my class, or if I avoided her name entirely. People deserve to be called by their names. So I worked on overcoming that trigger. I meditated, I spoke with my parts, I spoke with my therapist, and I internalized, processed, and compartmentalized the shit I'd been through.

This doesn't mean the trigger doesn't affect me anymore. It sometimes still does. But I got good enough at taking a breath and saying, "She isn't her, and she will never be here, and it'll be okay" that I can now handle seeing the name on my roster.

This goes for all of my school based triggers. They still affect me -- I'm still healing, after all, and that'll be a lifelong process -- but I don't let them impact my value.

The thing is, even when I was dissociative, I could manage that. I might not be the Best Teacher Ever, I might not do everything correctly, but I do know one thing well: emotional regulation and how to display that.

I have a lot of stress toys in my room, and I let my students use them. I let them know I use them myself. I show the kids how many grades I have at any given moment, to remind them that I am only human and can only do so many at a time. I have a flip-plush octopus that goes from sleepy to angry, and I use that to show the students MY mood -- "No, this doesn't necessarily mean I'm angry, but it does mean I'm having a ROUGH day, and so I want you to know that if I'm snappy or mean, it's because my octopus is flipped and I need to calm down." The kids can see instantly that I"m not at my best, *I* can see I'm not at my best, and by the end of one class period, it usually ends up being flipped back, because (and never let yourself forget this fact)... the kids care.

They care so damn much about you. A lot of them try not to show it, or will actively rail against it, but when you treat them like the people -- not children -- that they are? They will give that back to you. And the thing is, as much as it sucks to admit, these kids are absolutely going through trauma. These are students who have come to me about self harm. About depression. About being a DID system due to child abuse. They are eleven and they write me poetry about death. I've had to mandatory report numerous times, helping a child escape horrific domestic violence because of it.

It's triggering, yes. But I also know what to do. I've studied trauma and I've learned how to regulate myself, because I'm an adult and I can do that. These kids can't. Nobody is there to teach them, because the ones hurting them are the ones who are supposed to be teaching them those regulation skills. it sucks, the world sucks, their parents suck--

But you have the opportunity to make it better.

My trauma is a burden. It hurts and is heavy and I'm tired of carrying it. But I will always value the lessons and the teaching I have wrung from it. I am grateful that I can help traumatized students. I am grateful that my trauma-based learning sessions are boring for me, because I know all of it already. I am grateful that I can provide standard practice suggestions for troubled students, that I can say, "Actually, I've noticed that so and so seems to be triggered by being seated with their back to the door," and see the neurotypical eyes light up in shock at that revelation.

You have the power to be someone so special for these kids: you could be the person who understands them.

That's why I wanted to be a teacher in the first place.

HOOOOOO Boy sorry for the ramble!! I just... I have spent so long hating being disabled. Recently, I've found joy in what I"ve learned, at least. I hope things go well for you, anon. <3