#implied childhood trauma

[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Trauma culture is when my dad dies I’m going to throw a party and put his ashes in my cats litter box if I can’t think of something worse by them

.

[the-beastlands-craze]

i mourn the person i never got to be

[whumpshots]

Whumptober #15

Trope of the day: childhood trauma

_

Whumpee involuntarily flinches when Caretaker accidentally closes the door with more force than intended - loud 'thud' and a quick hushed "Whoops" is heard as they move through the house.

And that is all.

Still, Whumpee is tensed up and their heartbeat far too fast against their chest. Loud doors, footsteps... even the way someone says "Hi" makes Whumpee feel like they did something wrong. That someone will walk up and scream at them.

Or worse.

The door to the kitchen opens and Whumpee jumps when Caretaker comes in, instinctively hiding that they were about to make themselves something to eat. Caretaker just smiles at them, walking to the fridge.

"Have you seen the cheese?," they ask, rummaging through the fridge as Whumpee feels their mouth run dry.

"Sorry, I uh... It's here," they mutter, moving to give Caretaker the package they hid behind themselves, hoping the other cannot see the sandwich they were about to make. They didn't ask, they were just hungry. Now they fucked up, they always fuck up...

"Thanks, kid," Caretaker just says with a smile and gets a plate. "Do you want to stay there or eat your sandwich?" Raising their brows they look at Whumpee, who cannot stop themselves from probably looking really dumbfounded.

Oh.

Caretaker's hands are on their shoulders, still giving them some space as Whumpee ducks their head. "You can move freely in this house and you can eat whatever and whenever you want. Okay?" They wait for an answer, but Whumpee's tongue is too heavy. So they just nod. "Okay. Then let's have some lunch together."

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Nobody is “too young” to be cynical or jaded or hate their life. There is no appropriate age for that. If someone is experiencing that at any age, their mental health is at risk. Doesn’t matter how young they are, or how easy their life seems. Just because existential dread didn’t hit you until later in life, doesn’t mean everyone else gets to be so lucky.

“You think life sucks now? Just wait until you’re grown” okay grandpa what if they don’t make it to adulthood? What if it gets worse until they only see one way out and they take it? Stop being dismissive. Stop forcing your problems onto young people and start taking them seriously about things. Period.

(Inspired by this post)

[larrrrs]

I have been sad since a child, but now im running out of distractions and that scares me .. i scare me . This could be it for me..

[girlyteengirl16]

yes ofc i’m normal and can be trust around sharp objects

[gor3sigil]

I had a session with my therapist and I was talking about traumas and wrapped up by saying: "Sometimes it's very hard to be a trans man with female rage". And she looked at me and asked what I meant. I explained that the sexual traumas, having to take over chores because I was the "woman of the house" after my mom left, yada yada, all that was because I was a girl and it was hard to deal with and grieve while transitionning.

And she was like: "Have you ever thought that your trauma is genderless ? I'm not looking to invalidate what you feel, I totally see how being assigned female and treated and perceived as one played a role, but when I think back at how your brother was treated by your parents and his peers, do you see that much difference ?"

I was simple. But it shattered a lot of the way I viewed my past, my self etc. Because she was RIGHT. And listen, it may only apply to me but she was right. My brother, though differently, went through the same traumas as me. He was sexually harassed too, dehumanized too, physically abused, mentally abused, went through bullying etc.

We went through the same hardships, same addictions.

It kind of changed my brain chemistry, ngl.

[crush-echoes]

im so sorry to those that relate to what i post

[aprocessionofthoughts]

Memory

whumptoer24 day 15- childhood trauma fandom- dp x dc tw- neglect, implied torture summary- Danny remembers so much, he wishes he could forget so much more

masterlist ao3 part 5 of TFR

Danny remembers that when he was little, his parents were more involved in their lives. He can remember his father swinging him around and his mother holding his hand as they walked through the park. He can remember going to the playground and playing hide and seek with Jazz and their parents. He remembers family meals and playing board games. He remembers hugs and kisses and being tucked into bed. He remembers bedtime stories and his mother singing while she cooked, and his dad telling terrible jokes. He remembers being loved.

But he also remembers Jazz standing on a step stool as she tried to cook mac ’n cheese. He remembers walking to school in the snow with Jazz. They are already late, they waited too long for their parents. He remembers being hungry when there wasn’t food in the house. He remembers not seeing his parents all day. He remembers sneaking down the basement stairs to ask his mom to read him a bedtime story. He remembers how she scowled at him and told him to go to his room, that they were busy. He remembers Jazz telling him bedtime stories and tucking him in. He remembers Jazz taking him to the park, and doing odd chores for neighbors so she could buy some groceries so they’d have food to eat. He remembers her hugs and how she’d hold him close and kiss his forehead and tell him that she loved him.

He remembers being loved. He remembers being lonely. He remembers wishing his parents would pay him more attention. He remembers feeling selfish that he wished for their attention when they told him they were doing important work that will help the whole world.

He remembers growing up not knowing if today he would be loved or ignored. He remembers Jazz’s steadfastness.

But he remembers when his parents spent more time downstairs than upstairs except to sleep. Things changed then. His parents were no longer geniuses who were trying to save the world. He remembers when he stopped fighting his classmates who said his parents were crazy. He remembers bitterly thinking that they might be.

He remembers his parents forgetting to pick him up from school or from friends’ houses. He remembers them accidentally locking him and Jazz out of the house, and they were too afraid of what would happen if they broke a window so they slept outside.

He remembers that he ran away once. He took his backpack stuffed with clothes and a few granola bars and his stuffed rabbit. Instead of walking to school he went into the small woods near Amity, thinking that he could live with the animals like the characters in his stories.

He remembers getting lost, being cold, being hungry, being scared of every little noise. He remembers crying out for his parents, hoping that they’d rescue him. He remembers finally stumbling out of the woods and making his way home. It was dark already, and when he stumbled inside Jazz was there, crying and pulling him into her arms. His parents hadn’t noticed.

And then the portal opened. And everything changed but nothing really did.

His parents were obsessed, they had been right, ghosts were real.

There was never food in the house now. Not unless he or jazz brought it in. When his parents noticed they complaid and said he and Jazz had to start ‘pulling their own weight.’ They didn’t realize that jazz worked hard to try and pay the bills that accumulated and that Danny had started taking care of neighbors’ yards when he could to try and help put food on the table. It wasn’t consistent. It couldn’t be, not with ghost fights and escaping his parents.

And it was hard, but a year went by and he was getting the hang of it.

Then they found out and everything spiraled.

He tries not to remember the looks on their faces. He tries not to remember the cold metal table and scalpels laced with ectoranium. He tries not to remember them shoving Jazz when she tried to free him, then locking her in a cage ‘for her own good.’ He tries not to remember Sam and Tucker bursting in and fighting his parents. He tries not to remember them stitching him back up after they’d knocked his parents out. He tries not to remember Sam shoving a credit card into his hand and telling him and Jazz to run.

He remembers so many things. He wishes he could forget so many more.

[huntquinlan]

it’s honestly a shame that sjm is not an author who deals in allegory or is an author who would be able to tactfully write this because i honestly feel like azriel’s scars are such a missed opportunity. i’m putting this under a read more because the topic is sensitive and will be tagged accordingly.

while azriel’s burn scars in canon serve as a physical representation and reminder of the abuse he survived from his father and brothers, when i was reflecting on them and azriel’s own complex relationship with his romantic life and sexuality i realized that if the author of acotar was anyone other than sjm azriel’s scars could easily be read as symbolic representations of trauma from csa. it comes down to them being on his hands as well, hands so often being the conduit by which any type of physical intimacy is initiated.

i think this interpretation is strengthened by azriel’s aversion to fire while fire has been associated with incredibly passionate sex in universe (“fire in his blood and fucks like it too”).

what it ultimately comes down to, for me, is azriel’s centuries long obsession with mor. which comes off as incredibly comphet and strange until the eris reveal, which brings to light the incredibly charged relationship between eris and azriel. and it leads me to wonder how much of it really is mor, if it’s not just the safety of the idea of her to cover what azriel really desires because he’s functionally unable to process that.

not only are the illyrians written as incredibly traditional, but there is no indication given they are accepting of same sex attraction. azriel, who suffered so extremely at the hands of his father and brothers, that he still bares the physical burn scars to his hands, having any attraction to the heir of autumn, practically the crown prince of fire, would be incomprehensible to azriel’s mind. and any part of him that did comprehend it would be terrified and probably ashamed.

eris, of course, represents everything azriel fears and despises. but more importantly, he is the opportunity for azriel to heal from past traumas and fully accept himself and his sexuality.

this interpretation doesn’t negate the possibility for ‘kinky’ azriel either. since everyone seems to be preoccupied with whether he can be a leather dom daddy or not. frankly, any sort of bdsm practice would offer azriel a sort of distance during intimacy (depending on the act and his role) but above all else, enthusiastic and clear consent.

[werewolveswithnightmares]

[trauma-culture-is-blog]

trauma culture is knowing whenever someone is upset because that is something you needed to learn to keep yourself safe

- 👁🌌

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[bochedogmeat]

This is so stupid and I kind of want to add more to it but. Blehh. So here it is like this for now… anakin gleefully recounts his master’s childhood trauma to ahsoka because he thinks its funny

[mysticstarlightduck]

Ten random sibling questions!

Thank you so much for the tag, @thelovelymachinery (here)!

I'll go with Arden and Fabian from Crash Stardom! for this one (ps. context: Those two are biologically cousins BUT they grew up together and Arden raised Fabian like a brother).

Arden's pronouns are He/They Fabian's pronouns are He/Him

TW. Mentions of past SA in Arden's "Biggest Fears" section and very questionable stuff happening to Arden in the past

1. Biggest fears

Arden is absolutely terrified of Lenny, the son of a capo from the local mob who once stalked and took advantage of Arden in his own apartment (after Arden had broken up their and Lenny's toxic 'situationship' from hell and told Lenny to never come back). That incident left both Arden and Fabian severely traumatized - because Lenny essentially broke into their apartment and did whatever he wanted to Arden - then 18-19 - while Fabian (WHO WAS 12 AT THE TIME) was locked safely in another room, so he luckily didn't see anything but he still heard the scuffle.

Arden is also terrified of something bad happening to Fabian. They fear they have failed Fabes as a guardian, because they were unprepared at the time they took him in, and also because Arden blames themself for being (in their words) "too broke" to give Fabian the life they wanted him to have. Arden also spiralled pretty badly after everything that happened. They are also afraid that, if they wipe out the mob with their serial killing, something terrible may happen to Fabian too.

Fabian's worst fear is being helpless or unable to protect the people he loves the most. That incident in their past left Fabian with a deep fear of being trapped or helpless while someone needs his help, and he tends to also be afraid of being unable to prevent Arden from losing themself in that need for revenge.

2. Pet peeves

Arden can't stand the smell of whiskey, and also hates repetitive, annoying sounds like constant clicking, people chewing (they will smack a bitch if they hear that) or old clocks ticking. They also dislike the feeling of not having taking a shower in a day, and hate being constantly interrupted.

Fabian hates too-greasy food, or eating soggy things that aren't supposed to be soggy, like cereal or cookies. He hates that feeling of being too tired but unable to sleep, and also dislikes songs that get annoyingly stuck in his head for too long.

3. Favourite after school snack

Neither of them really went to school. Arden ran away from home at 11 years old, with a 5 year old Fabian in tow, to escape a dangerous environment. They got by as homeless runaways/street kids on their own for years, until Arden started working as an errand boy for the mob when they were 14, and Fabian was 8, and was able to afford a small, slightly questionable, apartment. When Arden was 16-17, he started working for the mob's clubs to pay off their debts.

Besides that, Arden's favorite snack is pizza rolls, and Fabian's favorite snack is chocolate chip cookies.

4. Favourite after school activity

Same context as before, so I'll answer this simply as 'favorite pastime/hobby'.

Fabian loves watching old cartoons and has a collection of pirated CDs with his favorite childhood sitcoms, animated movies and romcom films. His favorite pastime is to watch those movies in his free time.

Arden likes shoplifting beauty items, like nail polish, makeup and hair creams, which they store at home, and take great pride in how it helps them feel they've improved their appearance. Arden also loves sleeping whenever they can, and often can be found scrolling aimlessly through his phone.

5. What is their relationship like with each other?

Growing up, their bond was incredibly strong. They were all each other ever really had, and even if Arden wasn't the most well-equipped or overly responsible guardian, they cared more about Fabian than they ever cared about themself. Fabian always idolized Arden and looked up to them, seeing them as a hero.

However, after the incident with Lenny, Arden spiraled badly, resorting to drinking and becoming addicted to Elixir as a way to drown out the trauma of what had happened. Arden started spending more and more time at the clubs and less time at home. Soon after, they (Arden) turned to hunting down mobsters and killing them in both an act of revenge to let out their pent-up rage but also a desperate vigilantism to keep Fabian from ever becoming a target of those people. At first, Fabian kept trying to be there for Arden, and Arden didn't mean to push him away, however, by the time Fabian was 17, Arden's assassination missions started becoming bolder and more dangerous, putting their own life on the line again and again. Fabian couldn't stand the constant worry, and when he tried to convince Arden to let go of that revenge quest, they both argued badly, which resulted on them becoming estranged for a year.

6. Were they raised together?

Yes, they were. Fabian ended up under the guardianship of his uncle and aunt (Arden's parents) when he was 3, after his own biological parents died in a freak accident. However, Arden's parents were very abusive/toxic, and Arden ended up running away from home at 11, taking 5-year-old Fabian to safety too. Arden raised Fabian under their wing like an older brother/sibling would.

7. What did they enjoy doing together?

Fabian and Arden used to love watching old comedy movies and shows together and even staying up late to watch cartoons. Whenever Arden would come home late from the clubs where they (Arden) worked for the mob, they would pick up Fabian and take him to either get some ice cream or order cheap take out. Arden also was the person who taught Fabian how to shoot, and how to pick locks.

8. What is their favourite thing about eachother?

Fabian's favorite thing about Arden is how they always know how to deal with any situation that comes their way, no matter how jarring. He also admires how Arden had always been so resilient and confident - how they never let anyone talk shit to them and how they always snap back at insults with a smirk, no matter what storm they're dealing with behind the scenes. He also is deeply thankful for everything that Arden has given up and gone through in the past just to give him (Fabian) the childhood they (Arden) never had.

Despite Arden having a more jaded, 'shoot first ask questions later' kind of worldview, they admire how Fabian - despite everything that has happened to them both - is able to still dream about a brighter future and trust people, an ability Arden was never quite able to recover after everything that has happened. Arden also appreciates how Fabian always seems to find ways genuinely cheer them up - as well as anyone around them - no matter how bleak a situation is.

9. What do they hate about the other?

Fabian hates how self-destructive Arden can get, because while he understands that Arden didn't deal well with the crap that happened to them, he hates how they have such a low self-esteem where destroying themself for the sake of feeling numb or even getting even seems like a reasonable option. He also can't stand how sometimes Arden gets so reckless and blinded by rage, that their revenge seems to matter more than anything ever would to them.

Arden sometimes thinks that Fabian is overly naive and that he sees the world through rose-tinted glasses, and that he doesn't understands - what Arden understands - that sometimes bad things need to be done for good reasons or to keep them both safe. They also hate how Fabian wants them to 'think things through' when it comes to making the people who hurt them pay, something that Arden sees as stifling.

10. How do other people see them?

Everyone knows not to mess with either of them - estranged or not, they are the definition of 'never one without the other'. Even the most hardened criminals know that if you mess with Arden, you'll have to handle Fabian's revenge (even if he doesn't kill, he can be QUITE the thorn in the side to have) and if anyone hurts Fabian....well that person won't wake up in one piece, and will probably have a very, very painful demise by Arden's hands.

My taglist:

@sleepy-night-child,

@tabswrites

@kaylinalexanderbooks,

@smol-feralgremlin,

@oh-no-another-idea,

@littleladymab,

@little-peril-stories

@thelovelymachinery

@winterandwords,

@eccaiia,

@sarahlizziewrites,

@illarian-rambling

@agirlandherquill,

@anoelleart,

@ray-writes-n-shit

@writernopal,

@anyablackwood,

@forthesanityofstorytellers,

@finickyfelix

@i-can-even-burn-salad,

@cakeinthevoid,

@thepeculiarbird,

@clairelsonao3,

@memento-morri-writes,

@starlit-hopes-and-dreams

@wyked-ao3 and OPEN TAG

[larrrrs]

If i kill myself, will you finally care about me how I care about you ?

[the-warrior-of-the-mind]

Tw: PTSD episode, flashbacks, and implied SH

…

Are you aright?

Shut up.

My poor child

I’m not your kid.

I’ll always be there for you

Liar.

SO FINE. I’m not your dad anymore

Fuck off.

go on. Go

L̶͖̥͙͌́͐̌̓E̸͔̤͓̍̍̿͠À̵̟͕̦̟͉̣̝̟̈́͐͌̏̕Ṽ̴̢̡͈͈̭̩Ȅ̴͖̮̽ ̷̟͙͇̱̮̒̓͆̋M̴̨̛̭̜͈͈̭͚̯̃͊͗̊͑͜͝͝E̶̖̲̣͍̲͛̄̑̋̋͊̈́̉̕ ̴̼̙͍͈̞͎̥͔̻̈́̂̓̒̇͗͆͂̓͠A̸̰̋̊͋͑Ĺ̷̞̻̝̆͆͋̓O̷̠̱̺͓̙̝͊͗͆͆͝͝Ṋ̶̀̿̀̃͗É̶͕͙̪̜̳̜͉͒͐͑́̇

But no, you gods all turn out to be the same

Ẁ̷̳̥̗͆̂̈̚ͅH̴͉̝̔A̴̧̨̝͎̝̣̱̟͋̀́͝͝T̶̙͈́́̽̈́͑̓͒́͠͝ͅ ̶̧͈͚̠͖̣̹̫̀̋̒̈͌̍̕͜͝D̴̮̖̄͊O̴̧̜̥͍̱̘̗̓̉͐̇́͌̅̈̌ ̵̲͚̼͙̈́Y̴̛̮̻̲͍͕̳̭̐̿͌͜͠͝O̸̰̪̹̍ͅU̴̡̺̪̭̣̯̿̄̒́̐͒̃̚͘͠ͅ ̴̡̞͕̮̅͊̄̂̚͝Ẁ̵̧̛͓̪̼̺̼̌̃̄͜A̵̦̫͇̹̰̞̓̓͑̀̒̂̐̽̉͝Ň̵̡̗̟̦͍͓̼̅̄̐́ͅŢ̸̺̹̯̞̊̓̆̍͘͜ ̷̨̨̤͍͈̞̜̋̑̐̒̇͋̄F̷̡͙̬̾͗̓̓̈́̍̃͛̐̋ͅR̷̡͓̹͚̝͉͙̓̓̚Ŏ̶̮́Ḿ̸̢̢̡̼̞̮̠̃̈̀̄̔̒̌ ̸̍͂͜M̷̟͕̝̜̒̆́͂͊̓̃͘Ȩ̴̨͉̩̰̹̹͆͋͊̒͒̔̇̊̌̇?̶̢͔̩̹̺̤̰̐̆̀̃̏͘!̵͎̬̞͕͖͓̹̺͂̈́͑͒͑̋̏̅̃?̵̝̰̍̉͆̓

Go on and Rot. Rot. Rot. Rot. Rot. Rot. Rot. Rot.

…

-Slam-

-SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM-

-CRACK!-