#im. sorry. not really
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????
i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.
so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.
#anyway it’s still a couple years away#but man im so fucking excited for my 30s!!!!!!!!!#i made it!!!#i survived!!!#so many people never got the opportunity to be 30#im gonna enjoy every fucking second of it!#sulley speaks#sorry my coworker said something really rude to me lol#it struck a nerve
66K notes
·
View notes
Text
i dont like the idea that kids these days are doing their fandom rps with ai chatbots. that's how you're supposed to make lifelong friends as a weird really online teen.
#i was never really an rper of any kind it just did not do it for me#im like im sorry actually i cant do this collaboratively i need to be controlling all of the little dolls myself.#however homestuck rp deck epicmafia. now that was another story
49K notes
·
View notes
Text
this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
this is a permanent list of palestinians with vetted fundraisers that have reached out to me to boost them, if you've reached out to me and you're not on here please message me again. this list will be linked in my about page and regularly updated.
Rescue Mahmoud's Family: A Call to Escape Gaza's Devastation @mahmoodeltibi - vetted by el-shab-hussein, family of 15. €10,261 raised of €60,000 goal
Standing with a Family Escaping the Horrors of War in Gaza. Help Tamer get his family of 4 out of Gaza @tameraldeeb - Vetted by ibtisams, 90-ghost, el-shab-hussein, as well as being #191 on the vetted fundraisers google doc. €17,887 raised of €40,000 goal
Help Dina and her children survive through the war. Dina is a widowed mother with a 7 year old, a 5 year old and a newborn trying to reach safety. @dina179 - vetted by ibtisams. $4,146 CAD raised of $20,000 goal
Yousef Hussein is trying to get his nieces out of gaza after the death of their mother and father. boosted by 90-ghost. $8,412 raised of $50,000 goal
shahed @shahednhall is trying to get her family (her sisters are sick with hepatitis C) through rafah crossing in the next weeks opening period. she is number 224 on the vetted list of vetted fundraisers by nabulsi and el-shab-hussein. $17,267 raised of $50,000 goal
Ola's Family Call for your Support Amid Crisis @olagaza. Number #205 on the vetted list of fundraisers $19,195 raised of $50,000 target
#i need to update this later im really sorry but i dont have much more access to a computer#i will be adding many more people and reblogging regularly#save#palestine#gaza#all eyes on rafah#gaza strip#masterlist
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
why is bro in port ormos when he works at the akademiya
#the sabzeruz festival is so fruity#bro really said “im needed back at the house of daena” WHY ARE YOU IN PORT ORMOS???????#i know what you are.........#also hey sorry for not posting as much art lately#the whole AI problem online is really demotivating me from posting art#i still draw but im worried about posting them#anyways happy birthday nahida#and happy marriage to these two nerds#genshin impact#haikaveh#alhaitham x kaveh#alhaitham#kaveh#hkvh#my art
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
post oots - bramblestar's storm
#warrior cats#there will be a continuation.... in my brain. im sending it to u via my brain waves#jayfeather#lionblaze#dovewing#art#I FORGOT I HAD RBS OFF SORRY HAHAHA#I really wanted to post this when i had all the pages fogured out but i hit a wall. this happens too many times im sorry
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
DPxDC Unhinged Feral Boyfriends
The whole Batfam is under the assumption that Damian is the feral child. The assassin, the wild one, the demon brat that bites and stabs. Jason usually takes the second place, what with guns, heads in the duffelbag, and being a crime lord.
But Tim? Come on, even Duke is more feral than him. Tim is a nerd, and he keeps to his own devices most of the time, and, sure, sometimes he is plenty unhinged. But he's okay. Seventh place on the unofficial List of Feral Bats.
He's got a boyfriend lately, have you heard? Tim hadn't brought him to the manor for dinner yet, but each and every Bat and Bird have already seen the guy - in person or through the surveillance cameras or background checks, doesn't matter. Either way, Daniel Fenton is quite literally a ray of sunshine.
They look very cute together.
That is, until one day, they witness Danny and Tim rip Joker's ribcage out of his chest.
Nothing could have prepared them for it. It was just another patrol, just another night of fighting crime, nothing out of the ordinary. Sure, Joker was on the loose, but so far, no one has tracked the Clown down or seen any of his goons.
But then, Red Robin's tracker went offline. The Bats started searching for him immediately - his last recorded location, his trackers, his route, everything. But when they managed to find him...
Well.
They didn't only find him in that warehouse.
They found Joker, choking on the ground and clawing at his own neck, like trying to force some air inside his lungs. Over him, Danny was squatting on the ground, his eyes thoughtful and not worried in the slightest, tapping on his chin. And, just a step behind him, Red Robin is holding a fucking ribcage in his hands, studying it with calm curiosity.
"Should we put it back now?" Tim asks, relaxed and easy, like they are speaking about whether they should or should not get another box of cereal in a store.
Danny shrugs, "I mean, if you want to. It's not like he's gonna die in the next ten or so minutes, you've got time."
And then, as Batman makes the slightest of noises, Danny's head snaps to him, and the boy smiles, cheerful and bright. Like the ray of sunshine he is.
"Hi, Bats!" Then he blinks and looks down to Joker, who is already frothing at the mouth, "Oh, don't worry about him, he won't die. Red's just putting a tracker in his manibrium."
"I figured it'd be easier to find him next time if he can't get the tracker out," Tim nods, unbothered, as he is tinkering with the ribcage in his hands before passing it back to Danny, "Okay, done. Put it back."
Danny takes the ribcage and presses it to Joker's chest. And, before they know it, the bones sink inside the man, like a hand in a bowl of sand.
Danny wipes his hands on his jeans and stands. Tim smiles at the Bats, none of whom know what to say and where to start.
The next day, Joker is back at Arkham with a tracker in his sternum, Danny is invited to dinner in the manor, and Tim takes the first place of the Feral List, with a note 'never leave unattended when Danny is nearby'.
#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#tim drake#batfam#batman#joker#im sorry i live for these two doung heavily unhinged things without batting an eye#dead tired#brain dead#also yes i know you cant really take the ribcage out of the body while not killing the person#i dont care#magic go brrr#cork writes#cork prompts
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
star trek tos doodles so far!
#star trek#spock#nyota uhura#spirk#tos spirk#star trek tos#amanda grayson#every drawing has spock in it sorry but im really not#spock is half asian to me#my art
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi, feel free to take my new uquiz to discover what kind of vampire you are!
#NO IM NOT TALKING ABOUT CHESS THE MUSICAL I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS. I AM TALKING ABOUT THE ANCIENT BOARD GAME:CHESS#uquiz#vampires#twilight#because let's be honest there are a fair few references#and maybe this is my twilight quiz which has been in my drafts for nearly a year!#and i was tired of it sitting there#maybe!#quiz#werewolves#mention#you can get human in this im really sorry#it's a bit of a mean result#oh if anyone has an actual picture of the vampire that killed dean winchester please send it along#i could not find it with a cursory google search but i rememeber he wore a clown mask#so maybe one of those guys is the guy?
26K notes
·
View notes
Text
This could be a kart if FLAF wasn't fucking around..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf vanny#fnaf vanessa#michael afton#ennard#flaf#five laps at freddy's#sister location#security breach#I DIDNT mean to take this long to draw some FLAF content#lots of ideas are currently competing to be drawn next BAHAH#CAN I just say quickly too I tried to FLAF demo and I really like it!#can’t wait to play it once it’s finished and all issues are smoothed over 💜#ANYWAY Vanny and Michael are surprised Michael got in the game…#though it isn’t a flattering depiction#COULD YOU imagine if Michael could be Ennard’s kart#IT WOULD BE SO funny#I know it’s a logistical nightmare for theorists but I wish so bad for it to be real 💀#I HAD WAY TOO MUCH FUN drawing the Michael mobile here#IM SO SORRY to Michael Afton once again
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
#fanart#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#art#gojo satoru#ryomen sukuna#doodles#sukugo#i've been really tired lately#sukugo keeps me sane#i just realized i drew gojo with six fingers i am so sorry im really tired
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
lulaw bodyswap (or, the exquisite humiliation of trafalgar law) for @strawhattery's birthday!
bonus: the original toilet humor gag that ended up on the chopping block
#one piece#luffy#trafalgar law#lulaw#dont worry hes intolerant not celiac#for gluten i mean. hes surprisingly tolerant in all other ways#anyway. hes not in danger. hes just in absolute misery from those sandwiches#oh uh...#sanji#zoro#usopp#franky#chopper#jimbei#nami#brook#i really hope tumblr still only searches the first 5 tags so i dont spam anyone#wait#is it#robin#or#nico robin#IM SORRY ROBIN IVE FORGOTTEN MY OWN TAG FOR YOU#happy bday stinky. stinky bree. i hope ur happy with this :')))))))#its a gift for u. but also its so self indulgent that its probably for me too...
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
#im sorry but people are really shitting on the art direction?#like.....okay?#check your eyesight maybe? ✌🏻#dragon age#dragon age 4#i remember me andromeda.....#i remember the 'my face is so tired' lady#im telling u this is not shitty :D
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push my heel into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
original
#I know she already owns a gun and dosent go to school but the fact the inkling was named Jade and had glasses made me REALLY want to do this#splatoon#homestuck#jade harley#john egbert#If you knew me from homestuck pinterest im so sorry
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
last ones i swear
#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavymedic#tf2#im on a fitness bent atm so drawing these idiots drinking is helping me with pub based fomo#noooo sorry i cant come to the pub i gotta lift do my 5km and draw tf2#in before i get yelled at in comments: at least here in scotland dipas are served in thistle glasses but also it really doesn't matter#sometimes you might want your big hoppy flavours in wee glasses though#my next frontier re hands is drawing them interacting! im not quite good enough yet to sell the arm wrestling...i'll revisit it as i want t#share my heavy armwrestling tierlist of who-can-beat-him
4K notes
·
View notes