#im trying to make myself click on it but i
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr has a low social media market share in South America.
Text
Transcript:
If my girl and ULTRAKILL are both drowning and I can only save one, you can catch me at my girl's funeral.
Using the marksman and chaining my railgun to ULTRARICOSHOT Gabriel and P ranking the level!
Audio Source
#gabriel ultrakill#ultrakill#do u like the colorz :]#WHY IS HE YELLING YOU DONT HAVE TO YELL THIS#<- my eternal torment while trying to edit#ok time to make the really bad joke that i stopped myself from using as the title#i guess you could say hes... playing with himself.#if you click the audio source you will get to hear 'im going in raw' so thats my excuse for making that joke ok#ill see myself out
246 notes
·
View notes
Text
i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.
#im not saying astrology/tarot/crystals/etc. get clowned on so much bc theyre hobbies mostly enjoyed by women But....#i saw a post about some astrology study and made the mistake of opening the notes on that bad boy#not fun. and that reminded me of that old post that was basically like ''liking astrology is transphobic''#anyways idk maybe its just that my bestie is very much a ''crystal girl'' but like. stuff like that are such neat hobbies#she makes some cute little jars with pretty rocks and they make her feel better bc if you believe in something you can make it happen#when it comes to small things#like yeah if you pick up a stone that's like ''this can help you be more open with your emotions'' and you are like ''oh hell yea!''#ofc that will be on your mind and the item will be a constant reminder and actually help you with your goals#and its like. ok what really stuck with me was when i was talking with my bff and i was like ''i think all this stuff is interesting but i#feel bad bc i am superstitious and believe in some signs like lucky numbers but i know that logically its just. if i pick a lucky number of#i pay extra attention to it but i want to believe its lucky but i know how human brains work in that aspect''#and she was just like. ''so? those things dont have to exclude each other'' and it clicked#if i have a little tigers eye with me it does not make me feel more grounded magically#but if i decide (or believe) it's grounding then it will b bc it's a reminder for me to calm down#and stuff#like. ah idk how to put my thoughts into words#but i just think its unfair that a few rotten apples have ruined the perception of fun hobbies for a lot#not every astrology enjoyer is trying to sell you mlm essential oils or genuinely believe peoples entire lives are dictated upon the stars#or something#idk i just feel like these things are v misunderstood even tho im not personally like super into them myself#but ppl super mean about that stuff arent invited to look at my medieval themed fortune telling cards#idkk im sleepy and cant articulate my points someone else say this but better#leevi talks#im just saying. i dont think its bioessentialism to decide to believe you personally have a season for growth when the stars are in a#certain position or whatever
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
AM I IN FUCKING ESKEW AGAIN
#tsv 36#liveblog#I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP IT WAS SO TENDER IN THE BEGINNING BUT THE CHAPTER TITLE IS 'ALL LOVERS PART AS DUST' BUT WE GET A GLIMPSE OF HAPPY#MOMENTS IN THE TRAGIC SHOW YOU CAN'T HELP BUT SAVOUR IT. YOU GET HOPEFUL#you expect to see the other shoe drop but it didn't for so long so you maybe mayybe can try to settle into the comfort AND THAT'S WHEN IT#GETS YOU I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M BACK IN ESKEW#ESKEW PRODUCTIONS WHEN I CATCH YOU. WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU#STOP PLAYING WITH MY HOPE AND DESPAIR OMFG I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE (CLICKS ON THE NEXT EPISODE)#actually i think I'm gonna need more time before i eat the next one. this one is. fuckkkkkk#i didn't even have the emotional time to savour carpenter and haywards bickering THEY'RE SO CUTE (PLATONIC)#ANYWAY HOWWWW DO THEY DO IT SO WELL. IM FEELING BOTH HOPE AND DESPAIR TOGETHER#it's. you feel the same to Sebastian. when will the other shoe drop? when will the hotel be taken away from Sebastian? when will the#horrifying tragedy happen to dev and seb?#i kept guessing what's the worst thing to happen to them to try and prepare myself for it but honestly I'm glad I'm terrible at guessing#the dream ending. the dream ending. sorry limbus company canto 7 weighing heavy on my mind#the dream. ending#tsv#ALSO I CAN'T BELIEVE!!!! THEY GOT KISSING NOISES IN THE SILT VERSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#KISSING NOISES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#eskew is like. being incredibly aware will not make the problems out of your control better you will only be very aware and maybe feel#vindicated if they come true but you will not feel any better#<-projecting
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate panic attacks
#rant#which is to say i hate the whirlwind of specifically bad times in my life that brought them on and kept them#i hate that they trigger when i feel strong Anything#ive been trying to Dissassociate less and feel more. because feeling stuff does HELP me notice whats helping or hurting me#but like. i WISH it was about feeling joy and pleasure and excitement. maybe ill feel those eventually#but right now Any strong emotion is still ridiculously close to triggering panic attacks#im still terrified to go watch a play. because i LOVE plays and the last times ive gone for the past decade#ive had awful panic attacks because my brain clicked Love them with Intense Feeling into Panic dont breathe chest hurts Hate Urself#turns out my brain didnt just attach the trigger to fear of loud noises or fear of asking for#trigger from self hating thiught loops#it alsp clicked the trigger into: particularly notiveable romantic feelings of any kind (lile someome? have a panic attack! thatll keep u#physically incapable of getting near them! like plays! lets have you unable to breathe sobbimg hysterical so ur terrified to be trapped in#the audiience for hours! fucking hate hate hate it)#neurofeedback and emdr certainly lowered the panic attack rate per day or week to a Lesser per month situation#but im still lucky if i get thru a pa without illogivally trying to Fix it the irrational way i did when young which is hit myself#in the illogical hope if im injured enough ill be able to think again (which doesnt work its dangerous and makes the panic attack last#longer a pa just does Not let u think rationally untol its over u CANNOT try and fix it while in it and dping that makes it much worse)#if i get thru a pa without a concussion ive done much better than usual :/ i dont want any more#im so tired man. i want to go see a play!#i dont want to Try and then end up hyperventilating and crying with my brain imsisting i Need To be Dead for 2 hours#im the parking lot because it triggers when i park. or worse it triggers when i drive and i have to pull over and im trapped x place for#hours. either way i miss the play i wanted to fucking see!#i hate how panic attacks feel like a trap. not even a trap i can fight. its my own limitation. goddamn ive been fatigued ive been dying#in a hospital a few times. panic attacks feel worse to me. at least dying i can do something (eventually) to stop#altho i guess dying for hours in hospital until i got helped was similar. but ill hopefully only go thru that 1-2 more times in life#and i had like 5 panic attacks during that hospital visit since a heart rate so high like 200 cant calm down anyway
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
had a design epiphany last night pardon the shitty phone pictures but They Are Forming......
#alma is not making this easy she really likes to play with my phone case#nerri#pieart#wanted to make them different enough from dai#bg3!nerri#sketch poots#a lot of figuring out a design is just...trying shit until there's a click#and i got that click with those earrings.....why im yellin at myself to NOT OVERTHINK THEM lol
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)
#⚠️#personal#having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason#cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin#clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person#regardless of what the actual post is about#i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions#cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have#the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy#idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person#the fact i even struggle with this#sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me#maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared#cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping#how much is too much when do i stop#<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense#like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of#those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do#this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something#cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man#im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion#i feel like most times its both#i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like#showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online#idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd#vent#so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again#lord i need to get out of here
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not to make another mecha rant at unholy hours about something particular that isn’t shocking and only shocking to me bc my autistic ass learn stuff so slowly but I think after enough observation I finally clocked why people are so hard on mecha: Nobody realizes robots are the appealing aspects but can still be used as story telling tools.
People think mecha fights diminish character development when that’s far from the truth. A mecha in a show is a secondary vessel to the protagonist. It has a connection to them, a relationship, even if it’s not sentient. It is an extensive of their own sheer will power and most mecha fights can be seen just like any anime fight: driven by its pilots determination and it’ll overcome the obstacle. Being in a big robot over fighting hand to hand with super powers doesn’t change this.
If shounen can prioritize cool fights but still tell interesting stories, why do people think mecha can’t do the same? When it being in the realm of sci fi opens up even more deep story possibilities? Why can’t people realize you can have “WAH COOL ROBOT” but also a deep narrative? Why do people always pick one or the other?
People who don’t realize this end up making mechas that don’t fit into both appealing categories because they think having more character focus over robot fights is better story telling, but why would I watch a mecha if the thing it IS isn’t present? Why strip mecha of its identity? Why not just make a media in a different genre if you aren’t going to respect what it is?
There is no “deconstruction”, you simply refuse to watch the actual influencers of this genre. You pick at something you don’t understand and don’t want to learn from because you think you know what you’re doing. You think you know what you’re talking about when you only watched maybe one show and put it on a pedestal without actually trying things.
It’s fine if you did try and don’t think it’s your cup of tea, but most people don’t. They just assume. This isn’t even asking to watch more mecha but to be OPEN MINDED. To LISTEN to people at least when they mention it and be aware of what the genre actually is, and not the fabrication you made up. Learn. Don’t refuse.
#meg text#evening mecha ramble#this is trying to sound deep but probably come off shitty lol#probably gonna be more like myself in tags#Moral of the story If you don’t like old things or toxic fans whatever but don’t talk about shit you hardly know lol#I don’t even like to be involved but as a getter fan im strapped to this#just like ryoma to fate fr fr#(god kill me for that one)#Also no this did not stem from twitter as I look at it less but this also ain’t a twitter issue#we have western mfers make mecha and not understand it and that’s a curse in itself but it’s worse here#also this isn’t aimed Eva hate bc Anno LITERALLY made Gunbuster (a huge getter homage) and mecha fans hating a lot doenst help#but at the same time please stop with saying it’s special or a expectation#your better saying it clicks with you and that’s fine#if you say it’s a deconstruction your pulling it out of your ass
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
🎁jackie taylor
ask game
#bonus one just cause im trying to make sure everything is visible without having to click on it fhsjsjsj#I MADE MYSELF A LITTLE FUCKING SAD WITH THIS BELIEVE IT OR NOT#this is a hilarious one cause its so in your face that im like jackie has adhd i decided shes a mess (affectionate)#its SOMEWHAT supported by canon. ok? trust
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
How many things am I gonna try thinking "oh this will finally reveal to me whether I'm trans" before one of them actually *works*. I'm tired of this grandpa.
#vent tag: i never let them see the worst of me#'lily doesnt the fact that youre doing this mean youre trans' I DONT KNOWWWW THATS WHY IM UPSET#ive bought multiple different gender-affirming items thinking 'ill put this on and ill Know'#both times? nothing.#i mean i do like wearing chest binders now i guess. i like how i look in them.#but does that mean i want to completely eschew womanhood??? to be a man???#i dont know#but i want to. i want it to just click#instead of me playing around in the mirror and realizing im trying to find the posture that makes me look more masculine#instead of me increasingly preferring male terms being applied to me#instead of me tiptoeing my way into gender and waiting to be thrown out#instead of convincing myself over and over that im just tired or havent eaten or am about to start my period or just hate my body normally#instead of friends telling me 'hey i think u might just be trans' and that somehow still not feeling RIGHT#i dont want to be a guy i just want to have all the qualities of men that i find attractive or aspirational#i dont want to be a guy i just want to have the experiences guys have#i dont want to be a guy i just want to not be expected to be a woman#who am i? what am i? and how much longer can i bear to not be SURE?#god!!#(if you read these notes and reply 'egg moment' im egging your fucking house btw)
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
#click for better quality whatever#im coming back to school tomorrow so technically i will have less time to draw rgg stuff so here you go for now#angst angst angst. i only half assume this level of angst. is it cringe? idk i feel like it needed to be this dark to be good#i tried to make the dialogue as close as possible as how waka actually sound. there's a lot of quotes in this.#obviously this would be an internal dialogue happening in between 2001 and 2004. taking a little bit more literally masato's suicide#i really like interpreting aoki as the physical manifestation of masato's self-hatred destructive hateful and self-harm tendencies#the culmination of all of his hurtful and toxic coping mechanisms#there's this scene at the end of the game where he seems to be about to accept ichiban's help and start to atone for his crimes#but then he hears a recording of himself - as aoki - and immediately relapses into his old ways#for me aoki is the voice inside his head driving him to paranoia and self-destruction by pushing away & hurting everyone who cares about hi#i have a pretty clear idea of who aoki was for masato. the voice of societal pressure to put it simply.#but im not sure who masato is for aoki yet... i should think about that more#still fascinating to me that both of them aren't treated as the “true self” of his character. this guy never got the chance to be himself#gotta tag this with actual tags now#codexdraws#y7 spoilers#errr do i need to put tw? just in case a mutual needs it#tw suicide implied#tw ableism#<- internalized and not blatant but still#i am NOT feeling confident about posting this i swear im usually normal and funny (or at least i try to be. very hard)#i think it's very funny of me to post my first rgg comic featuring : waka and ; waka. im a parody of myself
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Never ever EVER buy household appliances with ai in them. Most ridiculous things I’ve ever encountered
#to be clear i did not buy one but had to use one to do a load of laundry (who needs ai in a laundry machine??) and let me tell you it was#useless.#first the thing apparently ‘senses the dirty ness of your clothes to calculate the wash cycle’ which then would only ever decide to do a#cycle that took 4. freaking. hours. never have i encountered a washer that takes longer than an hour to wash your clothes.#and without the ability to manually say you want it to be a specific time? makes no sense. who has that kind of time in their day.#NEXT we go to dry the clothes and it also wants to run it for an insane amount of time. so we click it anyways (horrible decision)#and think oh we’ll just open it halfway through#well. upon stopping the cycle halfway through the damn thing says that the door is locked because it’s ‘too hot.’#never have i seen something that thinks i’m going to burn myself on my hot clothes. like cmon#also cause opening the door would be a surefire way to cool the clothes down you’d think??#so we try all sorts of troubleshooting things and even unplugging it and it STILL WOULDNT UNLOCK.#the damn thing is still locked btw. dunno if ill ever get those clothes back#so glad this at least isn’t actually a dryer we spent money on and just one that was here while we’re traveling and need to do laundry#but like. cmon#there’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to decide how long to wash our clothes for and instead let a ‘smart’ (hint: it’s not smart) machine#do it for us#(hint part 2: this isn’t just about the clothes)#soni rambles#more like soni RANTS#i was already angry about the idea of ai in appliances but experiencing first hand how bad they are makes me even more angry#and a little scared for the future#now it’s 2am and the laundry is still stuck and im too upset to go to sleep. gah#and i don’t get mad easily.#oh and did i mention that to dry your clothes it wouldn’t let you select a temperature?? that it only said it would sense it itself??#see i like to dry all my clothes on low heat cause ive had a history of them shrinking#so not only are they trapped in the machine but it’s ‘too hot’ because it wouldn’t let us select a lower temperature.#luckily i didn’t put anything in that’s a material that usually shrinks
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#its like i cant get ahead of myself when talking about him cuz theres still a lot not revealed by the end of ch2 but STILLLL#i was keeping my opinions on characters pretty neutral this whole playthrough though my bias towards gin and kai was very apparent lol#and i did start screaming in agony reliving my worst nightmare joe dying#i dont think my sister was nearly as torn up about it as i was though like god ill still never get over it#the first time i played i actually gross sobbed like maybe i was just sleep deprived but i was inconsolable literally never cried that hard#but yeah we did the second main game today and i was like#‘not trying to persuade your vote but heres one million reasons why we should let shin live ahaha’#i dont think she was very happy with her vote aldnks#but yeah i really am gonna be sooo annoying next time we play im literally gonna bring pages of shin analysis with me that i can gush about#it is an interesting thing this character cuz to me like everything about him is so clear like even from the beginning i just didnt buy#the idea that he was genuinely an asshole i knew there had to have been something more going on#and idk if ive made it clear guys…but hes exactly like me guys hes just like me fr#his story hits so hard it feels like my own self insert which is weird cuz obviously thats not true#but like i feel like its either you get it or you dont and if you dont understand exactly what this character feels cuz you feel it yourself#i feel like so much of him just wont make any sense to you#maybe im just being pretentious idk but like if you cant relate to his abuse and just#very blatant bpd then I feel like youll just judge him on how good or badof a person he is#like it just doesnt feel like itd hit in the same way like when i see this character talking about being hopeless and the way his trauma#makes him act irrationally like god it just clicks so hard it makes so much sense and i can physically feel it through the screen#I MAY BE FERAL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER TO AN ABSURD DEGREE SHHH#basically what im getting at is i feel if i dont over explain everything about this character to other people i fear they just Wont Get It#and that they will be judgmental which idk i guess makes me defensive#anyway yeah i just enjoy getting to re experience the spiral this guy has given me and i will be thinking about it a lot tonight
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
tfw you wanna write a fic for a rare pair cuz youre that starving for content but you have no idea how to write their characterizations in a satisfying way 😭😭😭
#rei rambles#fanfiction#this is about iwakage btw#kryk comes easy to me for some reason (lbr it's the banter) but iwakage... does not.#i really do wanna contribute to their ship tag but every time i think abt how to write them im just like ???¿¿¿???#the goal when i write fic is to make something i myself would wanna read bc i know i will actually go back to read it#*because* it's a rare pair so there isnt much to read#but that plan does not work if u cant write them in a way you will like!!!!!!! i just wont!!!!!!!!!!!!#aaaAAAHHHHH#i cant explain the way iwakage clicks in my brain. it's just vibes. every time i actually try to piece something together it falls apart.#im cry
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
why did they make gender so complicated what's up w that
#like yeah. im trans ftm Technically. but calling myself ftm doesn't feel right#cuz yeah i'm a boy & i only want ppl 2 see me as a boy & it hurts when they don't#but also. im not rly trans in an ftm way yk? that feels more like a technicality#and calling myself transgender feels the same as calling myself ftm#im less trans in the 'i was a girl now im a boy' or 'born a girl always a boy' way n more in a#'crossdressing fag with a pussy' sorta way#idk how to explain it right#im not just a guy yk?im a guy that crossdresses n im a faggot n transsexual bc of it#this sounds so edgy jesus god#it's just so frustrating 2 try n explain in any other way#istg my dad said transsexual that one time and it just Clicked that that's what i am n its not in the way everybody thinks if#ig**#delete later#sorry my gender is all tangled up#it's tangled up in the same way my words r tangled up#trying 2 say one thing n getting the point across most of the way but never how i want/intend#& god i hate using pc terms 2 describe what i am cuz what i am doesn't feel pc#it feels offensive cuz it is#but in a way that i can't describe right#idk man im just tired of sanitizing it n making it look all pretty ig
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I would like. To be in mutual love
#rant#yeah...#...........................................................................................................................................#look its like this. im chronically ill. i know its not totally up to me i cant go out 1-3 times a week trying ro meet ppl. i know i#cant even eat some days my tummy too upset. cant work some days cant even sit up. can barely keep up witj friends i already have#and i know the being drained wont get better. i might be this sick forever. and i know im prioritizing my own art over#meetjng strangers. thats a choice. i know its my own fault im lonely. i also just. i wanna build a relationship#that long term where u meet and become friends then best friends then fall in love and hey if ur lucky marry ur best friend#and i know that wont come from forcing myself on dates w ppl i dont like. i know no ones ever liked me before#i know i havent felt attraction in years anyway. i miss having a crush. but i suppose itd be sad anyway. to crush and not be liked back#to feel ill need to wait another 5 years for another rare crush. i dont believe in fate i dont think. so i might not ever#kiss someoje i like. i might not get lucky and hold a crushs hand. spend months or years with someone like that#i just. i hate so much romance isnt like skills. i cant just date 1x a week until i run into love#i cant even find 1 person a month to crush on let alone ask out. cause the feelings are luck too#luck of who u run into even if u go tl events. even wuen i had 10k tinder matches the only date#the only person who respjded. was someone with a gf who didnt have much in common with me and me not mucj w them and it#was just not enough click to even make a friend#god it makes me sad. id like to kiss someone special. hold their hand. hear em talk hours#i have friends and love em but i dont wanna kiss a friend. i just dont feel romancy very much.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
/
#my posts#you know how this usually goes#i make an amount of tags so that if you read this its bc you've clicked and its not bc i am just posting it like whatever lmao#... unsure if i should even post it tho but what else do i do just leave it in my brain? idk maybe its the same maybe its better#maybe its worse? .... why have i been feeling kind of like this and at this kind of intensity for like about 2 weeks or more#2 weeks is how long ive been properly aware so i think its more but like. man.#like maybe its been like a month and i just havent been keeping track of time bc january is way too long to even try lmao#. but. idk. i just wish i could be kinda.. stable. like i cant feel good lmao#like it truly doesn't matter nothing is good enough in general#what i do isnt good enough#what goes on around me doesnt help trying to ignore the constant.. dread?#and like all things considered i should be doing good currently#or at least not this bad#but here i am constantly trying to not let myself feel too bad until im alone bc man.#so... yeah it just doesnt feel like anything is truly worth it not me as a person nor the things i do nor the things i experience lmao#also lately ive been just feeling more..... disconnected to others... like i dont understand them and they dont understand me#but like.. more than usual#and i guess its me? that it's kind of a me problem#idk I'm just tired. i need to sleep. i want to let face down on some sort of big water body or do something that will make my life worse#or they i will regret lmao#i. wont do any of those#also when i mean face down in some sort of bldy of water or whatever i dont necessarily mean like die#not against it but its not the only option#just lay there and float..... also not against it#i just want something that i cant have i guess bc im not sure what it is#like i just know what i want is to not constantly feel like this but idk how lmao#... u would sleep if i can bc man also I'm so tired#.... adding tags its a bit worse than I assumed lmao im also thinking about wether i deserve stuff or not lmao#like it got windy and cooler and i was like 'a blanket by my legs would be nice' only to be like 'no you don't deserve that ' like ah yeah#its kinda worse than i thought lmao
3 notes
·
View notes