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#im so tired man. i want to go see a play!
mejomonster · 2 months
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I hate panic attacks
#rant#which is to say i hate the whirlwind of specifically bad times in my life that brought them on and kept them#i hate that they trigger when i feel strong Anything#ive been trying to Dissassociate less and feel more. because feeling stuff does HELP me notice whats helping or hurting me#but like. i WISH it was about feeling joy and pleasure and excitement. maybe ill feel those eventually#but right now Any strong emotion is still ridiculously close to triggering panic attacks#im still terrified to go watch a play. because i LOVE plays and the last times ive gone for the past decade#ive had awful panic attacks because my brain clicked Love them with Intense Feeling into Panic dont breathe chest hurts Hate Urself#turns out my brain didnt just attach the trigger to fear of loud noises or fear of asking for#trigger from self hating thiught loops#it alsp clicked the trigger into: particularly notiveable romantic feelings of any kind (lile someome? have a panic attack! thatll keep u#physically incapable of getting near them! like plays! lets have you unable to breathe sobbimg hysterical so ur terrified to be trapped in#the audiience for hours! fucking hate hate hate it)#neurofeedback and emdr certainly lowered the panic attack rate per day or week to a Lesser per month situation#but im still lucky if i get thru a pa without illogivally trying to Fix it the irrational way i did when young which is hit myself#in the illogical hope if im injured enough ill be able to think again (which doesnt work its dangerous and makes the panic attack last#longer a pa just does Not let u think rationally untol its over u CANNOT try and fix it while in it and dping that makes it much worse)#if i get thru a pa without a concussion ive done much better than usual :/ i dont want any more#im so tired man. i want to go see a play!#i dont want to Try and then end up hyperventilating and crying with my brain imsisting i Need To be Dead for 2 hours#im the parking lot because it triggers when i park. or worse it triggers when i drive and i have to pull over and im trapped x place for#hours. either way i miss the play i wanted to fucking see!#i hate how panic attacks feel like a trap. not even a trap i can fight. its my own limitation. goddamn ive been fatigued ive been dying#in a hospital a few times. panic attacks feel worse to me. at least dying i can do something (eventually) to stop#altho i guess dying for hours in hospital until i got helped was similar. but ill hopefully only go thru that 1-2 more times in life#and i had like 5 panic attacks during that hospital visit since a heart rate so high like 200 cant calm down anyway
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yourlocallygrowngay · 5 months
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Last night I was cleaning up my Arthur folder and I had to delete all the captures I took of him in chapter 5 and 6 because I got so used to seeing him healthy that I can no longer bear to see how much he changed :(
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piplupod · 2 months
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pretty sure i just got a spider bite while trying to fall asleep 🧍
#i thought it was just a stray hair on my elbow under the blanket and kept trying to shake it off#and then i finally went to brush it off w my hand and felt a bump there#and then it was unbearably itchy so i turned the lamp on to apply some anti-itch stuff bc it was driving me nuts#and i was trying to see where it was on my elbow bc wtf when did i get bit#and then i looked at it and it was very pale like a fresh bite and then there was some skin torn like a spider bite#i cant tell if theres two little holes or not and honestly idk if spiders always leave two fang marks fjdkdl#but it doesnt look like a mosquito bite unless i tore the skin myself from scratching at it#but the way it is looking... very similar to past spider bites#anyways i just removed everything from my bed and methodically searched Everything. looked all around the bed too. cannot find a spider#so. shrug. <- actually very afraid#but the thing that makes me Really think it's a spider is that the bump was super pale and now after a little while it is regular skintone#so that makes me think it was a brand new fresh bite the way it was a different colour and now its normal looking#which is uhhh scary! to have had a spider possibly in my bed!#and I can't find it so i simply do not Know and that is going to make it so hard to sleep tonight fjfkdl#man i barely ate today too so im just... really not doing well at this very moment fjfkdl#i cant eat anything rn though bc i already brushed my teeth and i dont want to do that again tonight fjfkdl#but i am. so hungry. augh. idk what I'd even eat anyways im too anxious to stomach anything#WHERE IS THIS SPIDER. WHY DID IT CHOOSE MY BED TO BE IN 😭#im in bed so often ... it should avoid places where ppl are ....#i feel like such shit rn fjdkdl i just rly wish i didnt have to deal w all these bugs#in the past month I've had a couple spiders and Several(!) weevils and a centipede and a clicker beetle and a couple earwigs#im just so tired of bugs i rly am fjfkdl idk why they choose to come inside and idk HOW they're getting inside#i hate living in a basement!!#i just want to sleep so i dont have to deal w being awake for a while fjdkls but now im all freaked out#i want to curl into a little ball and blink out of existence I'll be so honest rn. im just. idk.#✨ I don't think I have a place in society ✨ i am not a good enough person to exist in the world ✨#i dont want to go to sleep bc what if the spider comes back fjfkdl i wish i would've found it so i could've trapped it#and then let it outside tomorrow! i wouldnt have even killed it. the universe should've given me that one bc im so niceys#unfortunately the universe doesnt play nice w me fjfksl#spider tw
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b1gwings · 10 months
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swashbuckler rogue my beloved
#i would never regret the storm sorc/tempest cleric combo that i chose for Bonk because they're an absolute damage MACHINE#but sometimes i wonder who i would be if i had gone down the martial road instead#bonk literally has a pistol and a sword and they're pretty fucking good with both of them. you normally don't see that in sorcerers.#i think my attack bonus with the sword is higher than my spell attack bonus which is kind of insane#next time i level up i have to go through all my spells because honestly im starting to get a little tired of the same old lightning bolt#PLUS now i have transmuted spell so i can just take pretty much any damage spell i want and turn it into lightning damage#for my sweet sweet bonuses#there is just some part of me that needs to play a rogue though. swashbuckler. arcane trickster. soul knife. phantom. anything#normally i don't like playing stealthy characters but there are so many good rogues out there#even a “ruff boi” a la magnus burnsides (fighter/rogue)#multiclassing my beloved too i guess#so hard for me to make a character that i don't multiclass#i might even go paladin/bard with one of my newer characters eventually#inspired by calliope petrichor#but he's different. he'd be a bard because he's a theater kid#but also i want to play a straight up paladin because i want to explore with being a character who has a connection to a god#because i've never done that before#and the themes and motifs are too strong#idk man we'll see how it goes :)#i love dnd#ALSO i feel like i cant make him a bard because i already have TWO OTHER FUCKING BARDS#GUYS (sweating) IM NOT A BARD MAIN I SWEAR#maybe for my paladin i could just take magic adept and learn some bard spells or something? like beverly naddpod? maybe#but it's not about the spells... it's about the performance checks...#i really should be working on my finals right now#im so serious if you've read this far down 1 hi :) and 2 if u have dnd characters PLEASE tell me about them. bats my eyelashes. please
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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I will say while I've loved most of elden ring I'm really glad I'm down to just 2 more main boss fights (malenia + maliketh) before I start the endgame boss fights... whew 😮‍💨
#really gorgeous world but frankly its unnecessarily long. theyre gonna kill me for saying that but its true..#some areas/bosses just become overly repetitive when the game is THAT massive like its unavoidable#they tried rly hard to distinguish every area + honestly its a great effort but it couldve been half the size and just as good#like i just did the elphael ulcerative tree spirit bc i wanted to finish millicents questline. and come on man we didnt need another one#the design is sick + loooove the animation. but its a bad fight not bc of the difficulty but bc its janky as hell#lock on doesnt work properly bc of its size and the way it moves. u cant see shit on ur screen fighting them melee its just hack n slash#and theyre always in the most dogshit arenas possible for them like spaces w no maneuverability. its just not fuuuun#especially after youve fought 5 or 6 already earlier on in the game..#and its cool to have variations like the scarlet rot ones but we already HAD one of those just before lake of rot!! the gimmicks worn off#i did everything except maliketh in farum azula today as well and again. it didnt need to be that long. killing beastmen gets boring#after like the first 20 combat is just mashing buttons.. even the platforming is getting dull bc ive done 120 hours of it now#and theres only so many combinations of ladders and hallways and so on that u can possibly cram in here..#i say all this with fondness like i truly do love it. but it couldve been a lot tighter! regardless ill still 100% complete it#and i get most ppl dont try to get every single armament and talisman etc so they probably dont waste time FULLY exploring like i am#ahhh. anyway ill probably do malenia and maliketh tmr bc im right outside both of their arenas. and then call it quits this weekend#ill get my first ending next weekend probably... and hopefully by june ill have 100% and then i can play something else 😭#ik the dlc comes out in june but ill probably take a month or two break before i get to that#it doesnt even neeeed a dlc.......its excessive as it is just make a new game by this point ahhhhh#anyway its like 1am i need to SLEEP. i said i would go out to watch for northern lights but its overcast and im tired and my roommate#didnt wanna come with.. so i was gonna go to bed early instead but i guess that didnt happen lol#gonna feel like shit tomorrow bc i have to be up early to take my meds and she'll wake me up anyway.. but cross that bridge#typing is getting difficult bc im so sleepy okay goodnight everyone#.diaries
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I try not to get annoyed at people talking negatively about the egg event but man :/
Y'all PLEASE it's so obvious they didn't expect the event to go like this. It's clear they've tried out different ways to end it and it's clear they've had to readjust and plan based on the reactions of the characters and the cc!s. Don't forget there are also people behind the eggs who are also very attached to their character and the people they interact with.
You can't just end something like this. something you could write genuine research papers on. If you do so incorrectly it could hurt a lot of people. But they have to try and figure out a plan basically on the fly, constantly.
Have an event where the dragon comes back? They wanted to fight the dragon, convince them to keep their kids. 'the most I could ask for is keeping you' from so many people.
Kill them? Clearly that's not working. It's hurting people and clearly would impact how they play on the server and their motivation to do so for many. And to kill many of these eggs at this point you have to play unfair, which just isn't satisfying. It's crushing, it feels bad.
They can't make the eggs grow up suddenly, and it's clear they don't wanna exclude the new people from the events. So they're making it work the best they can.
Saying "the egg event needs to end" doesn't accomplish anything. We know. It's clear the team behind the story knows. But pretending like finding a good solution is an easy thing to do doesn't help anyone!
They have to care for their players first and foremost. Right now ending the egg event is not a good way to care for your players.
So yeah if you're posting egg event negativity please feel free to just block me lmao. There's nuance here and ofc they don't want to metagame this shit but you also just can't ignore the effects the eggs have in rp and in real life.
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chaoticwholesome · 2 years
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waywardsalt · 1 month
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tag rant but man i fuckin hate the new direction for loz
#its like. this is more on like. why is it bad that theres a zelda formula. why is it bad that all of the games follow this formula#that’s their identity??? like pokemon games and fire emblem games all have their own formulas so to say#and so thats their identity thats what you expect going in thats their niche their gameplay experience identity#and i just. really fucking hate how loz seems to be going the route of just. throwing shit at the wall and trying everything else#and nothing sticks so the more recent ones just feel like open world slop that dont excel at anything#so fuck this im going to play elden ring with a double jumping horse and great and challenging combat. i’ll play minecraft#yknow? and i dont understand why loz games feeling ‘similar’ is so fucking bad like???? every game series’ entries feel similar thats the#point yknow. if they suddenly made a fire emblem that was an fps for no reason other than to break convention and break away feom the#formula then what the fuck thats not even fire emblem any more. like. idk. i kinda just despise the newer stuff bc its so. middle of the#road whatever and has just about nothing i actually like and look for in the series. they dont have that niche identity any more#its a shift that just makes them like part of the open world white noise every aspect is honed down and done better in other games#its not like the formula causes every loz game to be really predictable or blend together fuck no#theyre still each very unique from each other even if they follow the same guidelines thats the fun???#like woah i wonder how the dungeons will differ what the new story and characters will be what new items#fucking hell boo hoo this game series’ games are similar to each other. almost as if they share the same central identity#absolutely just letting off steam and frustration here i hate when ppl treat the formula as a bad thing when it’s like. what makes them loz#like fuck its not like theyre exactly the same like i said theres a great deal of variety in what each one offers no need to just chuck it#all thats the kind of shit i come to loz for. i go to fire emblem for the specific leveling up strategy gameplay i go to pokemon for the#creature battling and specific world feel botw/totk just. do not carry with them the same signifiers of loz and they dont really have#identities beyond go do whatever the fuck which is not very compelling??? like can we at least commit to something here?#im yelling at shadows here im just. fuckin tired and feeling pessimistic abt this future of this game series whose core gameplay is one of#my all time favorites i really like the tightly designed linear-with-freedom dungeons and puzzles and world and all that#like the aesthetics changing is great and its fun to see different takes and tones on it but that core sense of things is like. The Point#of choosing to play loz yknow what i mean. like just bc its got ‘legend of zelda’ slapped on it doesnt gonna mean im gonna want to play a#vastly different experience if that makes sense. thats not the precedent thats not what you like. expect and associate with this#i feel like i sound like some entitled fuck abt this but like. is that tried and true style just going to be trashed in favor of this#honestly kinda bland everyman-ass style just bc it started to seem like it was getting stale. fuck this im gonna see what tunic’s about#likely delete later this was just a vent. ‘the zelda formula is a bad thing-‘ are you fucking serious rn#like hesitantly hopeful abt eow bc someone i know is excited for it so ill def play it but just. man
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be-good-to-bugs · 5 months
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AAAAH forever stress is going to kill me one day
#the bin#i hate knowing why i feel so bad and not being able to do anything about it#im scared that ill never ever feel better. its been so long since i felt ok. im worried that ill make friends and still feel horrible all#the time and it wont matter. i cant keep doing this. im so tired of being all alone. im so tired of the constant inescapable dread#im going to figure something out. in a month ill be moved and i can start figuring everything out then#i hate not being able to focus on anything besides how bad i feel. i cant enjoy anything. theres so many shows i wanna watch but i cant#because im so distracted by this. theres so much manga i wanna read and i cant.#literally the ONLY thing that has been able to make me temporarily forget this for any amount of time is dungeon meshi#its so fucking good and it sparks so much joy that it does help but not enough. i get sad again really fast.#well. im trying really hard to manage my stress. i did the math on how much i should be getting. i know that i will have rent at least.#there are 2 weeks that i dont know what my hours will be but assuming i get 13 hours at least then i should have an ok amount for#moving. its possible theyll be worse and its possible theyll be better. im really hoping theyre better. my hours have been SO BAD recently#i dont know why. i know im not bad at my job or anything. i sont think my manager dislikes me either. he does this whenever someone#hasnt been feeling well and hell do it for a couple weeks and i think its him trying to be considerate but i have bills to pay man#technically there is a shift i could pickup but the store has a drive thru so im nervous to bc idk how that works and if im asked to do that#then ill have no idea so ive been avoiding taking any shifts like that#hopefully enough will pop up in the coming weeks and i can get some more hours. i know i can cover moving vehicle cost but idk how much#gas is gonna be so im suuuuper worried abt that. hhhh. hopefully my sister and her boyfriend can get me back the $300 they owe too#honestly idk how they werent able to afford rent but immediately after they were able to afford a 40 hour roadtrip and yimw off work#whatever. it doenst matter.#i wish i could deal with the other stuff messing me up rn but i cant fix the loneliness thing without not being alone and i cant fix that#it doesnt matter how much i tell myself ill make friends eventually or if i believe it or not. i feel bad because ive gone way too long#not hanging out with anyone and my brain cant handle it.#im gonna see if maybe i can play a game with my sister soon. or maybe i couod play smth with my younger sister even#i pkayed roblox with her for a little while. maybe she would want to again. i miss her :(
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quitedisastrous · 6 months
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life was so much easier three days ago when i was detaching myself from reality and spending all of my free time shiny hunting
#im fr gonna be stuck having the worst week so far this year just to have to force myself to play through ultra sun so i can beat it#solely because i need to trade blacephalon for the ultra moon exclusive before the online stuff goes down on the 8th. god#starting to tire of shiny hunting and whatever the fuck has been going on with me today has just made it worse#also tried to draw for the first time in a few weeks (which is a shit load of time for me since i normally do it every couple days at least)#but i just. couldn't. so that was fun#i gotta deal with all this shit from college just to 1) get a job 2) get a job in a workforce that is totally going to cause some sort of#strife in some capacity most likely (going into web development as a woman as far as i need the public to be concerned)#ghm i give up on spelling these all out. i'm a freak who gets freaked the fuck out over situations that i'm not familiar with#can't drive (also scared of that because responsibility for unfamiliar things freaks me out)#never had a job in my life. has never experienced a life outside of academics. queer. genderqueer. i haven't seen my friends since last may#man. i don't know. i could point out a million other things about being queer and probably neurodivergent and scared and sad.#i just want to go on and have a place of my own and a romantic partner and a pet beetle and to bring some of the outdoor colony cats from my#grandmother's house inside with me. and stuff.#i don't know#i just want to be happy with meaningful connections and not scared and not whatever the hell is going on with me today#maybe i'll just go do my final project proposal for the class this freakout is stemming from in the first place and sleep and#see if that does anything. maybe#what is wrong with me
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grimandghoulish · 1 year
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.
#i want to go on a vacation#i have to go to Florida in August for my partner's dad's birthday is his 50th and he really misses us#really don't want to go considering all the bullshit going on down there#so im going at least I'll be able to see some of my friends again#be there for like a week saving up all this money right now#i wish i was saving the money for Niagra falls or something instead...#i just want to go on a romantic vacation with my partner#i want to show him Salem Massachusetts#I'd love to take him to morro bay in California and show him the elephant seals#or go play in the woods together in West Virginia (we'll be careful) and i want to see the moth man festival#run around nyc together and just be free young adults#i want to do something#SOMETHING#I'm tired of living a boring life where i don't really get to do much#i go to work... go home and watch an episode of tv before going to sleep just to do it again tomorrow#even though that's all i do I'm exhausted all the time#i barely make enough money at work and i never have much if anything left over by the end of the week#i have to spend it all on bills and car payments and this and that#i just want to forget about it for a little bit and explore somewhere and have enough money not to worry#where i can actually go and spend it on fun stuff sometimes#i need more#i feel so unstimulated and it's agonizing#I'm desperately craving a road trip#or something you know?? i want to pile in the car with my partner and my closest friends and just go and do what we want#even if it's just for a little bit#before i have to come back inevitably to the same shit i do every day
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dumbseee · 5 months
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matchmaker.
in which max is tired of lando being a single mess, so he plays matchmaker.
lando norris x famous!reader.
fc: sabrina carpenter.
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liked by landonorris, francisca.cgomes, madisonbeer and 1 738 929 others.
y/n: lil photodump 💭
_
madisonbeer: my goddess!! miss you pookie xx
liked by y/n.
user: QUEEN OMGGBSKSKSL
user: she’s addicted to slaying
user: pls come to brazil!!
user: can’t wait to see you in paris!!
user: she’s so pretty wtf
user: Y/N AND MADISON COLLAB WHEN??
user: emails i can’t send is a masterpiece y/n!!
user: JUST ONE CHANGE IM BEGGING AHKSOSLSL
user: the man who’s going to date her is literally the luckiest man on earth
see more.
_
imessages between max and lando.
max:
mate
i have good news
lando:
what?
i’m scared actually
max:
fuck off
it’s for your own sake
lando:
okay NOW i’m terrified
max:
SHUT IT
you’re going on a blind date tonight
lando:
um
no?
max:
wasn’t a question you idiot
be ready at 9
a car will come pick you up
lando:
DHAT
WHAT
MAX ANWSER
WITH WHO???
I REFUSE
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imessages between max and lando.
lando:
max fewtrell.
did you REALLY sent me on a blind date with Y/N FUCKING L/N??
WITHOUT WARNING ME??
i was SO embarrassing
max:
okay for my defense, i didn’t know
i asked kika to find me someone who could match your vibe and apparently it had to be y/n…
BUT apparently it went well so we good
lando:
mate
i fucking spilled my wine on her expensive looking dress
i tripped over my own feet when i got up to pay the bill
i stuttered when she asked for my NAME
i almost slipped when i tried to open the car door for her
i answered « that’s cool » when she told me that the inspiration for her new album was her past and traumatic relationship
max:
holy shit dude
she’s never calling you again that’s for SURE
well at least we tried
lando:
wait till i catch you and kika
i’ll run you over with my car
BOTH OF YOU TRAITORS
max:
i’m innocent
it’s all kika’s fault
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imessages between max, kika and lando.
kika:
YOU COWARD
SHE THINKS YOU DIDN’T LIKE HER
TEXT HER NOW
max:
why are we yelling
kika:
go on twitter and see for yourself
lando:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN’T LIKE HER??
she should be the one to dislike me i literally made a fool out of myself BECAUSE I WASN’T PREPARED TO MEET MY CELEBRITY CRUSH???
kika:
you should be always prepared lando norris
lando:
omg give me a break
what should i do?
max:
her fans hate you lmao
text her maybe?
kika:
I HAVE A BETTER IDEA
invite her for the miami gp!
yes i’m a genius
lando:
do you want me to crash on the wall francisca?
i will 100% fumble the race if i know she’s watching
max:
oh my god
why are you such a pussy?
lando:
fuck YOU
this is all your fault
kika:
if you don’t invite her, i WILL
lando:
FINE
but if i die i’ll haunt your ass forever
kika:
who knows maybe you’ll finally win a race ;)
mister lando NOwins
lando:
wow i didn’t know mister pierre gasly was a race winner already
max:
okay enough you two
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liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, francisca.cgomes and 2 628 048 others.
y/n: may not know a lot about formula one, but i know for a fact that you deserved that win. i can’t wait to be with you during your journey, pretty boy <3
_
landonorris: i couldn’t ask for a better partner, pretty girl <3
user: YESSS FINALLY
user: omg they’re together??
user: WTFFFABSKSLMSLS
user: no bc why are they so cute??
user: aww she was so happy for him when he won
user: lmao the cameraman kept zooming in on her when lando won ajsksllz
user: PARENTS
user: CONGRATS LANDO
user: he better treat her right
user: they’re cute ngl
see more.
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strawberrymatchawhore · 6 months
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baby
summary- babying your "tough" hubby rafe.. maybe some freakydeakyness at the end
note- this is the complete opposite of the rafe ive been writing about LMAOOO.. this man is SO BAD help me
it was 2am and you were in your bedroom scrolling on your phone, a random netflix show playing in the background. you've been waiting for your husband to get home for hours, being the wife to the chief of police did have its negatives. this was one of them.
you heard footsteps walking up the stairs and immediately turned off your phone, throwing the covers over yourself you pretend to be asleep. the door opens and you feel the weight of the bed shift.
"hey baby. sorry for getting home so late" rafe says giving your forehead a kiss, you jokingly ignore him.
"c'mon now i know youre awake.. get up and hold me." he begged tiredly, you couldnt help but giggle at how desperate he sounded.
"fine." you mumbled into the sheets but stayed in your position, he hugs you putting all of his weight on your body.
"okay okayy, i got it. now get off me you fatty." you whined, pushing his large frame off of you. you leaned against the bed frame and opened your arms, the both of you adjusting to a more comfortable position. which was the both of you propped up against a pillow.
"im so tired." he yawns into your chest, you played with his hair as the both of you stayed in silence.
"i know you are, you need a day off. youve been working too hard." validating him, his hand plays with the ribbon of your pajama shorts.
"see? youre still in your uniform, youre gonna make the bed dirty." you patted his back and drew circles on it.
"what, you want me take it off? if you wanted to see me naked you couldve asked sweetheart." he looked up at you and smirked. you glared at him, lightly slapping his arm.
"not what i meant.." you blushed.
"youre so cute you know that rafey, honestly when i look at you i just want to eat you." you confessed and massaged his temples, his face nuzzles into your chest even further. clearly he was blushing as well.
"i dont know how i got so lucky, im so glad i have a such a beautiful boy in my life. everything about you is just perfect." you cooed admiring his sculpted face, the way his plump lips curled into a smile.
"stopppp" he whined. you couldnt help but pull out your phone and take a picture. because if you didnt, who wouldve believe that your 6'2 husband loved to be babied like this? not like you were going to show anyone, its just for your eyes only. you wanted to cherish this moment forever.
"did you just take a picture?"
"let me see it." he shot up and reached for your phone. you put your phone under your pillow and laid on it, making sure he wasnt able to grab it. the two of you started play fighting.
"nooo please, you look so cute. let me keep it!!" you laughed, he started to tickle you. and you slowly started to fall off the bed. your legs wrapped around his waist and dragged him down, if you were gonna fall he was going to come down with you.
the laughing coming from you both died down and you looked up at him, what a funny position. you both were on the floor and he was in between your legs hovering over you.
rafe leaned downed and passionately kissed your lips, his hand starts to play with your shorts. you eventually pull away and slap his hand.
"nuh uh. go shower first. you stink." you got up to your feet then helped your boyfriend get up as well. you looked up at rafe with your head tilted, what was this man plotting?
"not unless you join me.. you cant say no" he quickly said and grabbed you by the waist. hoisting you over his shoulder and carrying you to the master bathroom.
"ahhh! rafe stop!!" you busted out laughing, kicking your feet as he practically dragged you to the shower. he put you down and turned on the warm water, it poured over you both. you furrowed your eyebrows.
"great now my clothes are all wet." you pouted crossing your arms over your now soaked tank top.
"more reason to take it off... lift your arms f'me"
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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ahh.. I have tickets for a small music festival tmr which I went to last year + had a whale of a time but this year theres only like 2 artists I wanted to see but they released the schedule a couple days ago and neither are playing before 9:30pm. since I don't live local anymore I'd have to leave to travel back home around that time or I'd miss the last train... and there's not rly anywhere I can crash overnight there (and I was planning on going alone anyway like I did last year). so I think im gonna have to let this one pass me by :-(
#its not the end of the world like theyre not artists i LOVE love just ones i know and like a few tracks of#last year i had so much fun bc one of the artists there was an all time fave of mine. but yeah im not missing out on that this year#but its still a shame. i miss living there and being able to walk to gigs to easily like the music scene was so up my street!!#and i was kind of looking forward to it. but i shouldve planned it further in advance if i was serious abt going#i just didnt think theyd BOTH play so late???? i swear they had an earlier schedule last year#i guess i could just go and mill around some of the shows earlier in the day even tho ive skimmed most of them on spotify and theyre-#not rly my thing. sigh#im v tired + starting to feel quite sad this evening for some specific reasons i dont really want to think much about bc it is what it is#so its hard to imagine going out and having fun tomorrow. maybe ill just aim to get my chores done instead and see how i feel after that#i might fix my bike up and check the other local climbing gym out bc i havent visited that one before and itd be nice to mix it up#and i need to go out on the bike at some point this weekend so i dont build up anxiety abt it after yesterdays crash. hmm#man. its hard trying to do things solely for my own enjoyment sometimes. im usually pretty ok at making myself do it#and im grateful that i am! but i think im just feeling quite lonely. and not in a way where being around other people rly helps#like its more of a core thing. i feel kind of unseen by people in my life at the moment and that makes me feel like im not quite real#and i dont really know what to do about that. i think its why im still on my discord hiatus i just dont really have anything to say rn#ive felt this intermittently throughout a lot my life i think. but most of the time i can distract myself from it enough not to notice it#and i put the effort in socially regardless + usually when im in the moment it doesnt matter. but the stretches inbetween those moments..#its not unbearable and i dont feel that depressed at the moment either. just a bit lost i guess. i know itll pass eventually#but yeah it just keeps nudging up against me bc im feeling every little misunderstanding and slight quite keenly atm#ahh.. well its okay. ive never really needed much anyway im good at taking care of myself and thats enough to get by#ill do something nice for myself this weekend one way or another. im gonna go take a long shower rn i think and then read a bit#ah and i said i didn't rly want to think about it! but i guess i did... well i feel like i exist a little more for typing it out anyway#okay yes shower time now :-)#.diaries#maybe someday ill have ppl in my everyday life who i do feel seen + safe around. a girl can dream.. i have a lot of work to do before then
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lovelyney · 9 months
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⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯DATING THEM !! FONTAINE GUYS⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
CHARACTERS: freminet, lyney, neuvillette, wriothesley.
SCENT: headcanons
WARNINGS: mentions of nsfw on everyone’s but freminet’s.
FLORIST’S NOTE: wow !! took me long enough ☹️ im so sorry for the wait pookies. also how are we liking this new layout for these ?? ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯2023 !! #©LOVELYNEY
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꒱₊˚ 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐓 !! 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐁𝐓𝐒
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𖠵𝟎𝟎: SWEET BABY BOY FREMINET I LOVE HIM SM.
𖠵𝟎𝟏: As we know, Freminet's quite shy; he doesn't have much experience with romance, but he tries his best !!
𖠵𝟎𝟐: He wouldn’t hear the end of it from Lyney when he first started crushing on you. . . He kept on asking and asking when he was going to confess.
𖠵𝟎𝟑: Doesn’t like going out very much, but if it’s at the expense of your happiness and being with you, he’ll try and push through.
𖠵𝟎𝟒: Bought you a handmade plush of Pers since you always like to cuddle the robotic one while he’s away.
𖠵𝟎𝟓: Loves whenever he sees you wearing his clothes. he’d probably give you his entire closet if he could.
𖠵𝟎𝟔: Has a bunch of pictures of you and him that he keeps hidden in his dressers.
keeps one on him for good luck !!
𖠵𝟎𝟕: I honestly can’t tell if he’d give you a pet name ?? It’d probably be something like “nestling,” “my love,” and “baby/bébé.” (/ Meaning he uses both the English and French ver.)
❝H—Hey bébé. . . If you aren't too busy, would-would you maybe want to accompany me to brother’s magic show tonight ?? I-I could really use your company and I know we haven't been a date in a while. . .❞
𖠵𝟎𝟖: Crafts you all kinds of trickets🫶🫶
𖠵𝟎𝟗: Brings you the prettiest stones and little things that he finds when he goes deep-diving.
𖠵𝟏𝟎: Lyney “adopted” you into the family the moment you and Fremi started dating.
𖠵𝟏𝟏: He cringes whenever Lyney calls him a nickname, but he melts when you do it.
𖠵𝟏𝟐: Isn’t a big fan of PDA (he’ll obvi hold your hand) but in the confines of his room, he’ll cling to you.
𖠵𝟏𝟑: Will sometimes get pouty when you’re cuddled up to Pers and not him.
𖠵𝟏𝟒: Doesn’t get jealous like at all, he’ll just get annoyed and nervous at most.
𖠵𝟏𝟓: Didn’t pay much attention to his appearance initially, but ever since you started lovingly thumbing, kissing, and counting his freckles, it’s become his favorite thing about himself.
𖠵𝟏𝟔: I can imagine him liking his hair played with.
𖠵𝟏𝟕: Silently protective over you, you know ?? Like he’ll squeeze your hand if he senses someone you’re around is dangerous or unnerving. Or if he wants to leave and doesn’t want interrupt your conversation.
𖠵𝟏𝟖: Strangely warm !! He isn’t sure why you enjoy hugging him so much, but never complains, hehe.
𖠵𝟏𝟗: Likes to be both the big and little spoon !! If a day comes where he’s just exceptionally tired, he’ll want to be the little spoon. But if he wants to feel like the bigger person or you need comforting, he’ll be the big spoon.
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꒱₊˚ 𝐋𝐘𝐍𝐄𝐘 !! 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀
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𖠵𝟎𝟎: I’M 1000% COMPLETELY NORMAL ABOUT THIS MAN, I PROMISE 🤐🤐🙏🙏
𖠵𝟎𝟏: Lyney, as we know him, is very incredibly playful and can be very charming !! He uses this to his advantage.
𖠵𝟎𝟐: Was obsessed with you before you started dating and is still obsessed with you now 😭
𖠵𝟎𝟑: The complete opposite of Freminet. He will not shut up about you to his siblings. . . (Sometimes he might mention you to “father.”)
𖠵𝟎𝟒: Wants nothing but for you to be safe and protected. (Bonus points if it’s in his arms.)
𖠵𝟎𝟓: Going back to the Knave, Lyney might share the relationship you two have with her but won’t give any explicit details about who you are as a means to protect you.
𖠵𝟎𝟔: “Darling,” “gorgeous,” “lovebug/bug,” “my (love)/mi (amour),” “my sweet,” and “sweetheart/chérie.”
❝Thank you so much for coming to today’s show, my love! It always fills me with so much energy seeing you in the seats, staring up at me. . . I ought to put together a show just for you, hm? How does this Friday sound?❞
𖠵𝟎𝟕: Loves to tease you !!
𖠵𝟎𝟖: Does not like waking up in the mornings, especially when you’re lying in bed with him.
loves to hide his face in your neck whenever he’s lying with you.
𖠵𝟎𝟗: Loves PDA. He cannot give a single fuck if you guys are in public. If anything, he’s proud to show his love for you to everyone.
𖠵𝟏𝟎: Can sometimes be unintentionally flirty with other people without realizing it. Don’t get it twisted, though; he’s incredibly loyal to you.
𖠵𝟏𝟏: Many people (of all genders) find him very charming, and as much as that might sting you, Lyney always finds a way to bring you into the conversation to dismiss their advances.
𖠵𝟏𝟐: Can be a little feisty sometimes. Examples are: biting your lower lip when he’s kissing you, biting your ear and nibbling on your neck in public, and placing his hand dangerously close to your thigh.
𖠵𝟏𝟑: Uses incredibly cheesy pickup lines and one-liners.
𖠵𝟏𝟒: If someone is continuously making advances towards you, then he’ll get jealous.
he’ll walk over to you, put a hand on your waist and act overly affectionate towards you hoping it’ll drive the person away.
𖠵𝟏𝟓: Seems innocent (enough), but if he sees you’re upset by someone’s actions, he’ll flip that fatui switch on immediately just to see you smile again.
sometimes asks Lynette and/or Freminet to comfort you while he’s taking care of the person.
𖠵𝟏𝟔: Surprises you by showing up in the most unexpected places in your house.
𖠵𝟏𝟕: Hates being away from you for long ): That’s the main reason why he hates arguments between you two.
𖠵𝟏𝟖: (↑) Although he lowkey can be petty sometimes. . .
𖠵𝟏𝟗: His hands are really soft !! Sometimes you’ll gently caress them, and he’ll literally melt on the spot.
𖠵𝟐𝟎: Also one who loves to see you in his clothes !! 𖠵𝟐𝟏: Really wants to have matching outfits with you. 🫶
𖠵𝟐𝟐: Loves whenever you dress yourself up !! He just adores seeing all sides of you.
𖠵𝟐𝟑: You have a whole bouquet of rainbow roses from the amount of times he’s randomly pulled one out and gave it to you. . .
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꒱₊˚ 𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄 !! 𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐉𝐔𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓
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𖠵𝟎𝟏: The most gentleman to ever gentleman, I believe ?!?!
idk man, it’s something with the dragon guys in Teyvat. . .
𖠵𝟎𝟐: I’d like to believe that when he started liking you, the Melusines caught on, because he seemed to always be lost in thought. . . 🤭
𖠵𝟎𝟑: Despite him being absolutely stunning and incredibly smart, he somehow felt like he didn’t have a chance with you. . .
the Melusines and Furina were not having any of that !! they devised a plan where she talked to you, and they talked to him. it all worked out in the end.
𖠵𝟎𝟒: Being in love with a busy man has its pros and cons, obviously; Neuvillette always tries his best to balance them out. ☹️☹️
𖠵𝟎𝟓: You guys tried to keep your relationship hidden for as long as you could with how Fontaine loves its drama. . .
and when you it got out (guess how), rumors, whispers everything spread like a wildfire. it was incredibly overwhelming for you, and he tried his best to quiet everyone down and comfort you 😞☹️ you can imagine the weather. . .
𖠵𝟎𝟔: (↑) Some people were muttering how you didn’t deserve him or weren’t “pretty enough” for him, which really pissed him off, but he had to remain civil (for the most part, lolz.)
𖠵𝟎𝟕: Your emotions have an incredible impact on him ?!?! If you start crying or if you’re sad, it’ll domino effect onto him. He loves you so much that it physically hurts him to see you distraught.
𖠵𝟎𝟖: All the Melusines adore you !! They absolutely see you as their other parental figure since you guys started dating.
𖠵𝟎𝟗: (↑) MELTS whenever he sees you interacting with kids. . .
𖠵𝟏𝟎: “Cherie/sweetheart,” “honey,” “my (dear/dearest)” and “my (love)/mi amour.”
❝I’m home, mon chéri. . . I must apologize for coming home later than usual—an issue in the case I’m looking into has presented itself and I went to personally deal with it. Hm, what was that, love? Ah, what was the ‘issue?’ Don’t worry about it, my dear. What matters is that it’s been dealt with. Now, have you had dinner yet?❞
𖠵𝟏𝟏: His trust in you runs pretty deep, so he trusts you when others are flirting with you. However, when people aren’t leaving you alone or are masking their interest behind innocent actions, he’ll get pissed.
𖠵𝟏𝟐: God forbid anyone lays their hands on you. . . Neuvillette doesn’t take people hurting you lightly at all.
𖠵𝟏𝟑: (↑) He isn’t a big fan of people touching what’s his in general, but he knows he (unfortunately) can’t have you all to himself. . .
𖠵𝟏𝟒: (↑) Safe to say, he’s quite territorial. . . He is a dragon, after all. They are quite protective over their treasure..
𖠵𝟏𝟓: Wrio likes to bring you up in conversations over tea !!
𖠵𝟏𝟔: This man has always been head over heels for you. Whenever you two are shopping together, he’ll follow you around like a puppy—always insisting that he holds your bags and pays.
𖠵𝟏𝟕: Pretty gentle with you. . . The farthest thing he wants is to hurt you, but sometimes his primal instincts kick in and he can’t help but want to mark what’s his !!
𖠵𝟏𝟖: Spoils the hell out of you. He literally can’t help it. He’ll see something that he’ll think you’ll like or something that reminds him of you and gets it without another thought.
𖠵𝟏𝟗: Really doesn’t like that you can tell his mood based of whether or not it’s raining. . . He hates worrying you.
𖠵𝟐𝟎: Furina loves to ask about you !! She thinks you two are so cute together.
𖠵𝟐𝟏: Loves whenever you visit him in his office while he’s working !! He’ll always try and persuade you to stay with him while he works—coaxing you to sit on his lap and such.
𖠵𝟐𝟐: He’s still relatively new to understanding human emotions, so he really appreciates you being patient and helping him out.
𖠵𝟐𝟑: Whenever you’re mad at him or giving the silent treatment, he’ll just look at you with the most saddest eyes ever. Guarantee heavy downfalls until you two make up 💔
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꒱₊˚ 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘 !! 𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐘
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𖠵𝟎𝟎: Literally the almost perfect definition of my type 😭
𖠵𝟎𝟏: He’s smart, cocky, and hot. You’re in for a wild ride with this one 💔👍
𖠵𝟎𝟐: Secretly a deep-rooted hopeless romantic at heart, he just hasn’t had the time to explore that part of him because of his duties in the fortress.
𖠵𝟎𝟑: Like Neuvillette, this man is head over heels for you. It’s just that he’s better at hiding it (most times, anyway.)
𖠵𝟎𝟒: A big teaser !! He loves to get under your skin.
𖠵𝟎𝟓: Can and will protect you at any cost. He loves you so much, it’d kill him inside if something were to happen to you.
𖠵𝟎𝟔: A bit of a sadist, I think. . . He’ll watch you struggle for a bit before actually helping you with something.
𖠵𝟎𝟕: Before you two started dating, Sigewinne kept on insisting he confess to you because of how obvious it was.
Clorinde also gave him shit for it.
𖠵𝟎𝟖: “Baby/babe,” “doll,” “my (darling),” “my (dear),” “my (love/lovely),” “pretty/my boy/girl,” and “sweetheart.”
❝Oh? I wasn’t expecting you to stop by for a visit today, doll—not that I’m complaining, of course. . . Lucky for you, I just finished up all my paperwork for the day, so I’m all yours ~ Wait, what? What do you mean you’re only here to deliver more papers? Please tell me you’re joking, babe. . . Archons sake, please at least stay for tea. I haven’t seen you since this morning.❞
𖠵𝟎𝟗: Roughly smells like freshly brewed tea with a mix of his cologne—it’s a rather comforting smell, actually.
𖠵𝟏𝟎: Hates whenever you’re gone too long above ground. He gets grouchy (more so than usual) whenever he hasn’t seen you for a certain amount of time.
𖠵𝟏𝟏: Surprisingly like a sloth when you two aren’t at work. . . He loves clings to you, doesn’t matter what you’re doing or where you’re at.
𖠵𝟏𝟐: I’d like to think he doesn’t give a shit about what people normally think of him, so he’ll love you on wherever and whenever.
loves to rub his cheeks/stubble against yours despite your whining !! i’m weak
𖠵𝟏𝟑: One of his favorite things about the two of you is your size difference. He finds it adorable his hand can comfortably envelope yours and somehow perfectly fit around your throat. . .
𖠵𝟏𝟒: A waist holder !! He loves to have a hand on your waist one way or another. Whether it be him pressed against you from behind or simply just a hand on your waist while you’re standing next to each other.
𖠵𝟏𝟓: Protective and possessive !! Not too much to the point where it’s toxic, I think. He’s just very territorial, and does not like when people get too close to you. He always denies he doesn’t get jealous, but he isn’t fooling anyone.
he doesn’t want your future to repeat his past, so he tries desperately to protect you from those kinds of people.
𖠵𝟏𝟔: (↑) All for marking you in obvious places if he sees this is a frequent thing. . . He’s far from shy with it, as well.
𖠵𝟏𝟕: Always prepares an extra cup of tea for you just in case you were to stop by his office.
𖠵𝟏𝟖: Nearly suffocates you if you’re in bed facing him—he’ll smoosh your head against his chest so you don’t have a chance to leave.
𖠵𝟏𝟗: People were genuinely shocked when they found he was dating someone !! Some didn’t believe you until Wrio proved them wrong.
𖠵𝟐𝟎: Is a mixture between gentle and rough with you. . . He doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you or you know, break you.
𖠵𝟐𝟏: He claims he’d be fine if you two broke up but in reality, he’d be a complete mess. (Sigewinne knows this without a doubt.)
𖠵𝟐𝟐: (↑) Pouts whenever you spend too much time with her and not enough with him </3 He can be a literal manbaby sometimes.
𖠵𝟐𝟑: Literally doesn’t know what to do with himself whenever you ignore him or give him the silent treatment.
goes to Clorinde for help if he’s really stuck. which may or may not be proven helpful depending on her mood. . .
𖠵𝟐𝟒: Adores whenever you’re resting on top his chest !! He always says that’s where you belong, lol.
𖠵𝟐𝟓: (↑) Also likes it when you rest on his lap when he’s sorting out paperwork. He claims you “give him the energy needed to make it through the day.”
𖠵𝟐𝟔: The one for you if you have a praise kink and the one for you if you have a degrading kink !! Two birds with one stone, amirite ?? kill me
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instead of going straight to playing the game ive never played before like a normal person i played thru a bit of the dtp remake to see all the little changes for myself and im . really mad at myself for doing that becuz the remake is genuinely grtting on my nerves every little change feels like a massive downgrade or actively making the experience worse and i feel like the changes that i dont like will carry over to the other remake which i really really dont want becuz i have literally no other ways of playing klonoa 2 besides this and the last thing id want is to have a bad experience with it =(
#like. man#i dont know.#i feel like im overreacting to the issues eith the remake and like its not awful by any means im not trying to say it is but#it just. does not compete st all with the original its actually making me really upset#i was looking forward to playing this i fucking lost it when i saw that announcement trailer back in february i was so excited#this is the most easily accessible version of any klonoa games. its a good majority of peoples first introductions to the series. man .#i just feel like it really isnt doing the game justice. which just really sucks to see i ADORE this game with every bone in my body#it means the world to me. i think ive made that pretty clear on here lol#just like. the controls feel off the audio mixing is awful the ui THE VISUALS. GOD THEYRE SO UGLY#the atmosphere of the game feels completely lost it feels cheep and generic. this is making me so upset for no reason#its literally not that big of a deal i just care way too much abt all this shit .#i want people to like this game i want people to see what i see in it . and i just cant find any of it in this remake does that make sense#i could elaborate more on my issues with it but that would involve. getting image comparisons and some spoilers and also probbaly just make#me even more frustrated than i am right now so i probbaly wont. i shouldnt let myself get so worked up over this shit#part of me wants to go talk to my friends and complain abt it with them cuz some of them have actually played some of dtp#but like. i sont know dude they have pretty constrastinf opinions on it and also whenever i complain abt shit with them#it feels like were coming at it from entirely different angles even if we arrive at similar conclusions#its just kind of tiring sometimes if were talking abt smthn i do genuinely enjoy aspects of does that make sense#okay sorry i just keep going on tangents today i dont know why this keeps happening lol#inquisitivewaltz.txt
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