#im tired of putting up with people like this and i dont understand why i have to just because theyre family
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guy who only asks questions if they feel insightful enough to be worth asking and only hangs out if there is smth to do together <- deeply uncomfortable of the idea of wasting someones time
#yes i was constantly accused of not paying attention for asking questions i didnt know someone already asked why do you ask#maybe it does sound a little sad when i put it as 'i feel most comfortable when i feel like im not wasting the other persons time'#but its more like i want the other person to feel like im putting thought or at least care into it even if i dont express it very well#its weird feeling like im not giving back enough in the conversation but not knowing why or being confused by the idea#of someone who just likes to listen to me talk and not waiting for their turn to speak like i do like. arent you tired of it yet>?#how are you not thinking of ways to get out of this conversation yet??? it fascinates me bc ill never understand it#i like how we are now talking abt not letting yourself feel like a burden for asking for help and letting people help you#but i am on the other side of the spectrum where i want to feel needed when we hang out or else i wont know how to let u know me#yapping#diary#I hate feeling like this cuz it feels like im coming up with new and creative ways to defend myself instead of being myself
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it seems people are already upset that tsumiki is not nice anymore, sorry you dont know her like i do
#cmon. cmon. she has every right to be violent#idk if i trust gege to allow her to be angry (which she also has every right to be?? her life has constantly been people pushing her away#and forgetting about her and her constantly being nice) but if she was nice even now it would literally make zero sense#thats not character development. its not even giving her character. its just megumi's perspective being right that shes some kind of saint#which is sooooooo boring like why would she be nice. i think she should be tired of being nice. i think she should go apeshit. as a treat#and there was so much build up about the curse put on her. making it just some thing like oh shes a sorcerer but shes not gonna do anything#about it because shes so good IS SO BORING#and really it would be unrealistic if she didnt harbor at least some negative feelings i mean megumi was always kind of an asshole right up#until she got cursed and im assuming gojo didnt pay much attention to her as he did megumi. and her mom left her for some shitty dude#why would she not be mad?? just getting stuck being a little angel after all that just makes my skin crawl#and if megumi only really considered apologizing after she got cursed i doubt he really did a lot for her when she wasnt.#so i absolutely think she should be allowed to kill people it would be a disservice if she wasnt and was just again boiled down to the#saintly girl older sister image megumi seems to have of her. so boring#or maybe its just me being an angry sister who has to be nice. but i dont really think it is#tsumiki fushiguro#jjk 211#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk#oh and before anyone misinterprets i know megumi had some psychology going on as a kid. doesnt mean tsumiki didnt either#or that she has to be so understanding all the time and not consider her own feelings. so boring. so shitty#it mightve sounded like a joking tone when i said she should go apeshit. but i was 100% serious#anyway yeah thats it#hanancouldyounot#hanancouldyoupost
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for real though that post is so true on the love front i think about it all the time like why is everyone so LOVELESS not even just in like cishetero marriages where they hate each other just in general like platonic too. it drives me craaazy when im exposed to it like why are ppl like this !! why dont you love your friends and partner!! its like everything is a social game that theyre playing just for validation and lacking real connection and its a game where theyre always about 2 steps away from being bitter and hateful towards their friends/lover like STOOOOP! im someone who values love and kindness so much and it baffles me. why do you hate your partner! why do you talk about them like theyre an object of validation! why are you dating someone you clearly dislike! why are u so mean to ur friends behind their backs im cryin. why do you up and abandon them the second you get a partner bc you dont value them over the romantic validation you get. ive always been such an affectionate person at heart and i value what my friends say so much and i always find myself feeling so distant from people in relationships because they just feel?? so shallow?? and distant from me. like i think oh this preson gets me but theres ppl who say the same things how they value kindness and love but its always like, immediately clear they are actually a deeply mean person and just enjoy feeling like theyre 'good'. the way society functions with relationships feels so intensely shallow and i cannot connect to it at all. i love my friends and i love people and i always want to understand them and reach out with compassion and be close to them physically and emotionally speaking and talk a lot and listen to them. however im cursed to live in a world of 1 word responses if any at all and shallow relationships where no one gaf about each other and then i get told i talk too much. hello? *tapping mic* hello? is this thing on? be filled with whimsy and love going forward please. anyway does anyone else feel this way or is it just me feel free to talk about it if youd like
#thank god i finally found some friends who are like this too it was so rough before#it sucks tho bc ive been so tired lately its hard for me to live up to this#which i dont hate myself for its valid its just like waaah i wanna have the energy to really put my all in friendships again#for half my life my biggest want and goal in life has been to be someone approachable and who seems kind#even to people with anxiety and i think growing up with anxiety greatly shaped that#i value being kind and compassionate and understanding to such a degree that i spent and still spend time actively working#towards that goal and unlearning being judgemental and bitter#bc i want to be kind so badly and to put kindness in the world...#no but seirously why do people date ppl they dont like#wym you guys arent so unabashedly in love that you practically see hearts thinking of them#wym your entire chest doesnt fill with joy and the simple prospect of them experiencing lifes small joys no matter how little and mundane#to love so wholly that you strive to be a good person not out of guilt or feeling like you are bad but because you desire so deeply to be#good for them and put as much goodness in their life as you can because its what they deserve...💙💙#ANYWAY LMFAO! im sappy asf as a person sorry everyone but also not sorry#pers
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words fail me
#my art#emeto tw#sorta#who needs sleep after your catbwakes you upmat 3am to hurl after a fairly fucken bad day not fuvken me#i cant be bothered w the typos#like how tdo people say words#they just tell people things...?......????????????????#wah wah i had a bad day and couldnt sleep and had a panic attack#when i put it ike that indont look smart#im starving also#idk why#have to get up then#the words just lodge in my stupid throat and i cant fucking spit them up without a reason and no telling people is not a reason#apparently art is a reason#i have more words secretly. its likely healthiest to putnthem here#i feel like crying whenever mom and sibling have a productive convo cause thatb means i didnt waste months of my life working with himonstuf#getting in the boat stuff. theres still problems i dont know where thr balance is. betther to clean the kitchen to show yoh care or better t#o trust people to understand the limits of others? who knows but be sure to yell at me in a panic because you suddenly want my help with it#i think it was a legit panic attack with hyperventilation and everything and it was the middle of the night and i had to be the one that tal#ks myselfnthrough it not that id really trust anyone to have that skill but its still fuckend up#im tired#im really very tired
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i dont have an actual name for it but depressed college au is probably one of my favorites. i dont really care for the adults in paranatural and thinking about how the activity club/others might grow up and continue their lives is so much more interesting to me
#i started reading this comic when i was 15? i think? and now im recently 23. i cant really say i relate or want to relate to 12 year olds an#y more. and yeah i prefer a lot more nuance and complexity when crafting+ reading stories#but when your protags are 12. well. yeah pass#pnats adults are fine but the kids are the ones i have any actual emotional interest or compulsion towards#so when i write something that might be less 'yippee whimsical wacky adventures' and the options are spender and zarei. again theyre fine bu#t i dont really care enough about spender and zarei#but i still want to write about adults you know. BEING 12 was hard enough you could not PAY me to go back into that headspace#honestly thats actually why most of wizard au takes place in their later school years#like you know those aged up mob psycho 100 aus. where mob is like a fireman and ritsu is an english major and theyre not exactly having epic#adventures anymore but theyre coming into themselves etc. god. thats the stuff 2 me#i used to hate aged up aus as a teenager bc i thought it was the author/artists excuse to put kids in weird situations. and idk considering#it was 2015. yeah fair. but i do think i get it now. teenage years are hard and theres a certain part of that hardness that i love. things#like growing up [from a 17yo perspective] and people you love going to college and trying to find yourself and dealing w friends and fear#for the future. THOSE are the kind of teen stories i like reading about. but when you start getting tired and mellowing out and things that#come with the end of college and grad school and growing up [from a 22yos perspective] is similar. but its more somber. youre older now#when the protagonists become people. thats what i like#wizard au is fun as a huge intense magical adventure project but depressed college au is just like. where i can project.#drinking an entire pack of mikes hard lemonade by myself and lying on the floor talking to friends about how im scared and pushing myself#towards a career that i love but dont know i can achieve. friends leaving. getting an apartment for the first time. and the second and#the third. that feels better when i can sit down and go 'okay. someday isabel will do this too. i might not understand. my friends might not#understand. nobody could understand and i could be alone. but max woke up with a hangover today and i know what that feels like' etc#idk just feels better. taking your favorite characters with you while you go through things. by which i mean#'taking my favorite characters and making them go through things'#you want them to be safe and happy and having fun. i want them to feel fear. we both know what we want from fiction and treasure each#depressed college au#dcau
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im gonna be real anon I don't care about label shit ship discourse I care about if real people are getting hurt and ONE reblog from someone being jokingly aggressive on the subject isn't enough to convince me that people are getting hurt when there's more evidence to the contrary. you've put me in a shitty situation here and I don't want to engage with it. please just ask people what they actually think next time before you go throwing your assumptions at other people.
#i trust enough that most of my mutuals understand the nuance needed of media depiction of unsavory subjects.#if i'm wrong then I'm wrong. okay. thank you.#i hate the dichotomy i hate the lack of nuance in this discussion I want people to actually talk to each other#I want people to realize that you can respect people with different opinions than you if they aren't actually hurting anyone#I'm literally. someone who was alone with me a lot as a kid is in prison for CP/solicitation. I think if anyone can say that media-#depiction of fucked up shit that really happens is more nuanced than 'x is bad so it shouldnt exist'#you cant do that in real life. you cant make something not exist. just because something fictional contains it doesnt mean it condones it.#im so tired. im so tired. why wasnt this a dm. i dont really want to have this discussion publicly.#i can think things are gross but understand that there's nuance to depiction and just because I don't like it doesn't mean those people-#-don't deserve to have something that understands them.#not everyone is good at actually. being mature enough to handle that nuance. when they try. people can be wrong#and if people ARE weird I can just not engage with them. there's. I can decide for myself!#and now I'M stuck in my brain is insane and. as if! as if people always reblog things they 100% agree with!#im so tired. im so tired. im in pain and people are messaging me about a singular reblog from six months ago on someone else's blog.#i understand being cautious i really do but thats like insane behavior. why are you putting this on me. why didn't you just talk to me.#fucked up things happen and people deserve to be understood. okay. even if i don't like it. there is no right answer. there is no world-#where all pain can be avoided. saving private ryan made vet suicides skyrocket. did you know that#but it also understood those people. yknow. and there's more people living that it understood too.#there's just so much nuance that's thrown out when you cover everything you don't like with a blanket. okay#it's more complicated. it's more complicated. please.#in my mind it's far stranger to assume everyone is out there giggling and twiddling their fingers thinking about in/cest#than it is to just assume they don't until proven otherwise.#im so tired. just block me if you don't understand where I'm coming from. I don't care about ship disco/urse and i dont want to live-#constantly worried about what other people think about shit that has no right answer.#everyone is innocent until proven guilty and one reblog of a joking aggressive post isnt enough for me. sorry.#phlyaros' nonsense#euurgh.#welcome to the internet where we judge people based on one reblogged joke and nothing else even if it contradicts us#what a perfect encapsulation of what I don't like about dichotomy argument#tw suicide
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I am holding myself together by a fucking thread and I just want it to break so i can get a break.
#i want to not be the fall guy for literally everything. i want some fucking nuance and to not be blamed for other people's actions#as well as my own. it's fucked up that im being told that it's both my fault for how i treated other people (valid and true)#and also being told that it's my fault for letting other people treat me the way they did and that i'm responsible for their actions too#just. so. tired.#just so tired. so. so. tired.#and people will see this and get mad at me and then that's my responsibility too#i want my animals to be okay#i want to be able to make rent and not owe my friends and family money#i dont know where im going to live in two months#i just want someone to care about me for me and not for what they think i should be#as if i am wrong or broken the way i am#why is forgiveness and understanding afforded to other people#while all i get is blame. always blame. it's my fault. i should have known better. the way i think or feel is narcissistic and fucked up.#over and over and over.#i dont want to leave my bunnies#my therapist does a lot of testing for autism and suggested i get tested myself#which i balked at initially because. idk. i don't... really like putting myself in boxes#but i brought it up with her this week and she gave me a referral to some places.#i dunno. maybe i'm desperately looking for something that people will actually take seriously#rather than telling me having adhd isn't an excuse for me to not be able to converse like a normal perspn#and that i can't have accommodations because 'that's how life is and it's not fair to everyone else to make exceptions for me'#the things i do for people i care about go unnoticed or get taken for granted#and i spend my whole life living to make other people happy/comfortable and compromise myself for it#and then when i advocate for myself i am being selfish and 'not everything is about you'. and just a complete rewriting of the things i do#i'm so tired. i'm lonely. i don't feel like im allowed to try and make new friends or reconnect with old ones#i should be posting this on my sideblog#fucking overwhelmed. the world is hopeless and im just going through the motions and keeping it all in because my feelings are inconvenient
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#thinking about a lot of stuff rn but mostly how I'm well aware a lot of people in my life don't actually like me being around#and i don't know why i don't know what's wrong with me that makes this the case#i got a couple people who i think do actually care about me and enjoy my presence and enjoy being my friend#but theres so many more that id convonced myself were my friends and i can tell theyre all tired of me but dont wanna be the first to say it#and i dont understand i dont understand i dont unterstand i dont understandit at all#for a minute there id convinced myself it was some mental illness shit and that i had a handle on why this was the case and i could work#theough that i could deal wih that but its gotta be something else its gotta be somethinga actually legitimately wrong with me and i dont#know what it is. i just wish i knew what it was i just wanna know why#i dont want folks to pity me or pretend they wanna be my friends cos they think other folks want me around i cant tell that youre being fake#i dont wanna be making folks feel like they have to put up with me#what did i do? what am i doing? why?#i feel like im a kid again and everyone hates me and i cant figure out whay im doing wrongi dont know why im not able to just be a person#i hope this will pass by morning#i have to hope that even if i know it wont
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#truly tired of the way my parents arguing has evolver. congrats theres no more violence but now you constantly have arguments everywhere#about everything#because they talk like everything is a competition and its just passive aggressive comments!#truly thinking about running away and just disappearing for a while but i know that would not change a thing! bc thats how stupid they are#one day theyll be old and under my care and ill hire people to argue 24/7 on my house so that they can understand what it feels like!#its like having the most annoying song on loop ever since you were born! and it won't stop#it will only get annoying remixes#im this old and single and they don't even wonder why... bc im tired of putting up with other people. im always putting up with them!#like arguing about who is the most unhealthy and continuing to still be unhealthy... none of you is winning the argument! bc youll both end#up sick in a hospital#yet u have to hear these stupid arguments!#and about how the house is filled with clutter#if youre not going to change it. stop complaining!!!!!#youre just making it worse for others because now i have to put up with your noise and nonsese and the house is still a mess!!!!#i know sometimes im being dramatic about the whole thing but like brain totally turns into mush especially when i haven't had any food#and ive already heard 3 different passive aggressive comments and arguments#and my dad always acting like he ends up being the bad guy.... maybe if you had actually been a dad during my formative years things would#be different. its not normal for a kid to think their dad has a secret 2 family bc he spends time away just to have fun#dont complain now that i got more attached to my other parent
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NOT ME HAVING THE HONOUR OF BEING MUTUALS WITH ONE OF MY FAV WRITERS, HELLO?!?!?!?!?
anyways, i rlly can't stop thinking ab soft Gojo :(
just him getting super emotional while cuddling cus he's thinking ab just how much he adores and appreciates having someone in his life, who loves and sees him for who he truly is cus he's always just percieved as the strongest and not as Satoru </3 (Sugurus "Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest" HURTS)
it's just softness and fluff everywhere as he slowly traces his hands all over his lovers body; squeezing, caressing, tracing, overall just trying to get himself to believe: "You're here, you're real, i have you."
A tear leaving his eye as he makes eye contact with his love, and they kiss it away whilist caressing his cheeks and whispering sweet nothings into his ear, but also reassuring and reminding him that yes, you deserve to be more than a weapon, you deserve to be you.
I'm so emotional ab him :((, this can also count as a request btw, i was mostly sharing brainrot cus im very much despising the jjk manga and am actively living in delusions :)
you can add some soft sex or keep it fluffy and bittersweet (if you wanna ofc, no pressure<3)
I fucking LOOOVE a soft Satoru I DONT CAREEEE
He's so adorable and it HURTS MEEE
(also, HI MOOT AND AHHHHH FAVOURITE WRITER??? I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED ANYTHING PROPER YET😭😭)
tiny drabble under the cut because HDGSHHSHSH
(i didn't write smut but I am planning on working with that 😩)
The way his gentle eyes meet yours isn't enough to put into words. Or maybe it's too much. Words are complicated sometimes.
So it's understandable why Satoru doesn't speak when he gets home like this. Tired. Exhausted. Feeling like his headache is so bad not even a box of panadol can fix. Hell, he feels the pain in his soul.
But the second your soothing voice reaches his ears, it's like all of the turmoil is gone. The world reduces itself to the warmth of your skin and the smoothness of your voice. It becomes the simple moments of intimacy, where you just hold him to soothe his six eyes.
Where they can all, truly, fall shut and rest.
Like a safe space of some sorts. With your careful hands caressing his hair as you both lay, cuddling, all of the lights out. No music. No noise. Just your shared breathing, and heartbeats. How his hands rest on your back, his full weight on top of you, hair tousled and messy. His breaths deep and slow, making him slowly melt more and more into your embrace.
With gentle words and gentler touches.
"I missed you."
"I missed you too, my love."
Even being called that makes tears prickle his eyes. My love. Not Satoru. Not Gojo. Not the strongest nor a weapon. Just... someone. A random guy, who met the most amazing person, and just happens to be loved. It's like when he's with you, all worries vanish. You're the calm to his storm.
Even if it isn't visible.
That's the funny thing about storms, right? If you're in the eye of the hurricane, you won't notice until you open your eyes. And he, sadly, has six of them to remind him how he's constantly fighting for his life.
Sadly, some people are born to fight. His heart yearns for the gentleness of a lover, and his body is used to fight the toughest battles. All while putting up the facade that he's the strongest. As if being referred to as such doesn't hurt him more than anyone can. Words, sadly, go through his infinity.
Something he absolutely turns off whenever near you.
It's like you manage to calm even the deepest, most obscure parts of his brain. You make him forget instinct. When he's in your arms, he doesn't need to protect himself from anything. He's safe. Your lips to his dampened cheeks that serve as a reminder that maybe he does deserve love. He deserves to not having to be The Strongest all of the fime.
"Such a funny thought to wrap you up in cloth
Do you find it all right, my dragonfly?"
HE DIDN'T DESERVE ITT WHAT THE FUUUUUCK HE JUST WANTED TO BE HAPPYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAH
#jjk gojo#jjk x reader#jjk drabbles#jujutsu gojo#gojo satoru#gojou satoru x reader#gojou satoru x you#satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk satoru#jujutsu satoru#jjk fluff#jjk comfort#this is so sad#he didn't deserve this#please god#let him be happy#for once#he deserves the world#i hate gege
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This is going to be a very rambling and venty post cause im tired and annoyed and honestly am just using this to vent my anger/hurt. there is going to be stuff that can maybe be seen as anti tommy/bucktommy (please dont tell me a ship name to put i dont care about if they do have an agreed upon ship name right now) so if you dont want that please just move on. i dont want to fight i just want to yell into the void on a stupid throw away account so i dont bring my negativity stew and come out on my main blog where i just want to enjoy my stuff and just keep happy energy. I dont normally post and try and just find someone who explains it better because im not great and getting what im saying across or understood the way i want, so please bear with me. With that said i will move on to what i want to say
Okay so i have been watching 9-1-1 for years and i love and adore it. Its characters and dynamics and i have always loved found family. Now i will admit that i started watching it thinking that Buck and Eddie were a couple and had a son so i was kinda watching for it. Do i think if i didn't start watching thinking that i would ship them still yes 100%. I have always loved their relationship and i have loved watching both Buck and Eddie grow and start to be happy while also having each others back even at the worst times. Sometimes if i think to hard about Eddie and start crying cause I'm very normal about this show and it characters. Now Eddie is my favorite character in the show and at least in my top five overall favorite characters. I love him and his development and i adore seeing how much he does to just do right by Chris even when he messes up you can tell how much he adores that boy and how badly he wants to give Chris the best life possible. I could write essays about Eddie Diaz trying to explain how much i love him and why and i think words would run out before i could finish making people understand. Buddie is my favorite ship (sometimes second depending on my mood. i would say sorry but Henren and Madney will always be amazing ships and sometimes i just cant stop think about them)(Sorry Bathena i love you too i swear i just cant decide if i wanna kiss athena or be adopted by bobby and athena:( Its confusing) and has been for quite awhile and is one of my overall favorites and its one of my comfort ships.
With that context when bi Buck happened i was so insanely happy and i wouldnt shut up about it. it made me sick. i was so happy for Buck and while i think a part of me will always be a little sad Eddie wasnt his first kiss with a guy i dont think either of them are ready for that. i also understand that it wouldnt make sense for how the story is going right now. Now i have nothing against bucktommy in the show. I have watched the kiss scene and sobbed to much to pretend like i hate them or even dislike them. However I genuinely dont care about Tommy. Hes kinda bland and i forget about him half the time and before they brought him back i completely forgot his name. in my mind he was the one that wasnt as much of an asshole to chim and hen as the other two assholes which wasnt saying a lot. Now I dont dislike tommy nor am i going to act like hes irredeemable because neither Chim nor Hen seem to think hes still that guy and while they dont seem super close they seem to get along so clearly, he's not like that anymore. I have nothing that makes me dislike him nor do I like him. He's just there. He's just the guy buck kissed. Thats all he means to me. I would give up his screen time for Ravi or May or Karen in a heartbeat. because i love them cause they mean something to me. I don't think i thought about the fact that people might actually like him especially not more than EDDIE.
This is where the context matters cause i am to my core a one ship per person girly. I might see a ship and people who like it and even think thats not a terrible ship but i will still only look at content for my ship for that person (ie. i ship Destiel (dont say anything bad about them ill cry<3) but i can see the way someone would also ship Dean and Benny or crowley or Cas and Crowley or Mick but i will ignore the ship and move on and look at more Dean and Cas). normally i will just ignore the ship and move on because im not who its for. If it gets annoying in my tag or anything like that ill block it or whoever is annoying me cause its not a them problem that i dont want to see it. When i start to have a problem is when multiple people arent tagging right for whatever reason or people who are being rude about the ship i like because of their ship. When I started seeing Bucktommy stuff more and more in the 9-1-1 tag i went to the buddie tag cause i dont want to see them. my problem is that when im reading on AO3 and click on a fic tagged Buddie where bucktommy get married. it was literally just hurting Eddie. There was stuff before like id be scrolling though the buddie tag here and see someone saying that Tommy is a better character then Eddie and saying that they hope bucktommy is endgame. Whatever block and move on. Just like always but then people who have shipped buddie for years who ive seen talk about them are suddenly saying that they like bucktommy better. People who started watching because of bucktommy saying they dont like Eddie. People are going to have different opinions but it still bugged me. and then i read that and i was just hurt because it was tagged happy ending and i cannot fathom ever thinking Eddie hurting and pining is a happy ending. So i started to get more annoyed and i hate when that happens especially with a show i love and a character i dont dislike so i tried to just move on but more and more people are taking about it then i saw someone saying that they wanted eddie to die so buck and tommy can have Chris.
I just hate that so many people are jumping on the bucktommy train and saying that they like it better than buddie something that is so good and sweet or saying that they like Tommy more than Eddie. I just dont get it cause Tommy is boring. like yeah we now some about him and he flies a helicopter but hes forgettable he could be a completely different person and next to nothing would have to change. We have seen Eddie at his worst and claw his way back up and hes finally letting himself be open and honest and soft. Eddie couldnt be replaced. Now im not saying Tommy can't be an interesting character but as he is right now?? He just isnt. Hes just as bland as every women (minus Taylor and Shannon) Buck and Eddie have dated and been hated on for no reason!!! Like i get that Tommy is a guy and we got canon Bi Buck and people are happy but those same people turn around and shit on Marisol from what ive seen(I could be wrong cause again i have done my best to avoid). Buddie fans arent safe from that either, cause we all know that Buddie fans do that but so many of those people who hated on them and said they didnt want them with anyone else suddenly decided that they were okay if Buck ended up with any guy. I dont know its just weird and i hate how many people are acting like Eddie isnt always going to be better then Tommy. Part of me wanted Tommy to stick around and help Buck and Eddie figure it all out but now?? i honestly just cant wait for him to be gone cause I want to have fun and read fics for my comfort ship and just chill where i can see all of my ships in the show without buck and tommy being everywhere or people saying crap about Eddie.
I have more to say but most of its about how gratifying waiting and seeing where this whole thing goes(Buddie season 8 PLEASE!!) and this is already why to long and i think im just going in circles and none of this makes sense so ima shut up for now and hopefully this will help it not fester and drive me insane and become a tommy hater
Edit: but i also hate that Tommy calls Buck Evan so he already had some stuff against him rip
#911#buddie#anti bucktommy#i guess??#i dont know#i dont know what to tag this and just hope i dont upset anyone#anti tommy kinard#again i guess#but not really??#let me know if i need to add any tags:)
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I’m sorry but CC only has herself to blame for making TMI known as “the incest books” in all of the reading communities outside of TSC fandom.
She herself ruined TMI becoming as big as it could’ve been & TSC in general by putting incest in all 6 books of TMI…That’s why no one posts about it on Booktwt or Booktok..
There’s no point in being upset at readers judging TMI for having incest in it when that’s a valid criticism.. Clace kissed multiple times for three books all while not being officially sure whether or not they were related or not..then CC got petty & doubled down on the incest after being criticized for it already & had Clary kiss her biological brother in book three after people already hated it with Clace in the first two books.
Clary’s brother almost rapes her in book five and tries kissing her in the last book. TSC is not GOT where it gets a pass. Non TSC stans really want a LI calling his girlfriend’s Dad his own Dad 💀 Jace was calling Clary’s brother his brother while being romantically involved with Clary. Just because he was adopted by Valentine as a kid didn’t make it normal for Cassie to have Jace call himself a Morgenstern or to call his girlfriend’s brother his own brother.
TMI hate = CC’s own fault.. any TMI stan bitterness should be directed at her own questionable writing choices. Sorry but seeing TMI stans hating that TMI is judged for this all when it’s the authors own fault is weird yk? It’s been too long, Cassie understands why TMI gets hate. As a TMI stan it makes me upset that she dragged the incest on the entire series because I can’t proudly ever talk about Clace, Seb or TMI as a whole because she got weird with the writing in that series on purpose to spite people who criticized the incest in Books 1-2. It was petty for her to drag on incest for that long knowing people hated it..It’s her fault.
I’m tired of people outside of the fandom being judged for not liking the incest for Clary with two Mmc’s when..it’s valid not to like or be comfortable with. TMI stans always having to make excuses for her too is even sadder bc it’s not our fault or other readers’ it’s the authors fault for putting that in a fun YA series that didn’t need incest AT ALL. That’s probably why the show was a flop and the movie, no one could take the series seriously with that arc for Clary with Jace and her brother Sebastian..
no yes i totally get it!! it is frusterating to see tmi get dismissed but im not gonna force anyone to do anything they dont like. it’s valid to not want to interact with something cause it grosses you out, i’ve definitly done that before as well. we all have our limits and that’s okay!! that said feel free to ignore the rest of this i just wanted to explain my thoughts more thoroughly but it got a bit long😭you might not like anon sorry
first of, i do admit it’s been a while since my reread and also, i haven’t touched the other series since i first read them so i can really only speak for tmi rn, and if i get anything wrong that’s on me
i should probably clarify that my original posts were create because i was just so baffled that people were sayong cc has some kind of incest kink and that’s why she was forcing it into her books. like?? an author choosing to engage with darker taboo topics doesn’t mean they’re into it im pretty sure. its not like i know her personally, but if she had a kink i sort of suspect it would show up in the rest of her books yk? is it really that hard to imagine that she’d include it for a reason?😭
for me, maybe because i’m used to books like the secre t history or older classics, i tend to look past the taboo of it and focus on what it does for the story/reveals about charchterization, if that makes sense?
i think that tmi is very much about family, and sebastian having these fucked up views about family (where he mistakes romantic love for familial love) really goes to show how horrible valentine was as a father, and how terribly he was treated and how desperate he was for love. i think he doesnt know what it means to be loved by family and that’s why he substitutes it with something else. cause i think that deep down inside he does have a normal brotherly love for clary, its just that he doesnt know any other way to show that
for me the incest thing is a plot device and it frusterates me how no one wants to engage with it that way. could it have been done differently? probabaly. but they don’t even try to examining why it’s there at all! they don’t bother analyzing or asking, hey, does the author have any particular reason for putting this here, or writing it the way she did? they just dismiss it as gross and go away. but i really do think it has a purpose and point in the story that gets lost on a lot of people
the thing is, it’s meant to be uncomfortable! it’s meant to be gross! it should weird you out!! i doubt cc meant it to be viewed positively, especially when neither the charchters nor the narrative does. it’s meant to show how badly these adults and this society have fucked up these children, and robbed them of being able to love freely and safely yk?
most of my frusteration really just comes from how puritanical fandom has been. you can choose not to engage with something if it grosses you out, that’s fine and valid and we’ve all done that before. but looking down on someone for wanting to engage with it objectively is??? i think it’s just etiquette to not engage with what you don’t like. block the tag. curate your own experience. that kinda stuff
again anon if you chose to read this anyway i really do respect and understand what you’re saying. i’m really sorry if i came across as mean or rude but like. i really really love tmi and i cannot tolerate it being dismissed like that
#im sorry if i came across as mean/rude that’s on me#sorry abt that#this was kind of long😭😭feel free to ignore it#tsc#tmi#the mortal instruments#the shadowhunter chronicles#cassandra clair#sebastian morgenstern#valentine morgenstern
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Can you explain Palestine vs Israel. I have done my own research and still do not understand. From my understanding Palestine attacked Israel first, and this war has been going on for so much longer than just now. So why is it suddenly so important and how is Israel in the wrong?? Genuinely trying to understand since you are spreading news of the Genocide on your page.
hey so i cant really explain all the complexities and details in a singular tumblr post. i dont really know how much research you did if october 7th is your earliest knowledge of ‘attack.’ israel has been an apartheid state since 1948 and during that year they were downright deplorable to palestinians to get them to be conpliant. nakba is probably the most notorious case but there is more.
this issue is important because this is the first time we see such atrocities in mainstream media and online. Its so oversaturated with suffering that it sets a precedent for how the world (the general public in particular) reacts outside of politicians and activists. will we continue to care when we see other people suffer, or will we grow numb and desensitised? it’s important we don’t lose our humanity like capitalist neoliberalism would prefer. just because we live comfortable lives, it doesnt mean we should be ignorant to those who are suffering. in fact, we should inspect ourselves and ask whether their suffering lends to our comfort and vice versa (it usually does). for instance, many western countries are profiting from this apartheid, hence their support.
i’m not going to list through everything (plus i myself don’t know everything) but i can tell you where to go, and hopefully some others can add on to it.
for israel’s crimes against palestine since october 7th on the account of genocide i feel like south africa has done an amazing job putting together documentations of evidence against them in the ICC. you can find the full thing on youtube or online. some of the crimes include bombing and stopping aid trucks from reaching gaza, preventing women from giving birth by bombing maternity wards, bombing hospitals (there are now 0 active hospitals in gaza, whereas before october there were 36. this info has not been updated in the case) to prevent civilians from getting life-saving treatment, psychologically tormenting civilians until they lose the will to live (particularly in children), and so on.
of course please pay attention to palestinian journalists within gaza specifically— they will show you firsthand whats happening. there’s many apart of al jazeera. al jazeera has also done some articles on the history for you. here is one on nakba. amnesty also did a good job on explaining what an apartheid is.
theres also quite a few independent ones that have become journalists through this attack from israel. bisan is one of them if youre active on tiktok. noor harazeen is a journalist on instagram.
here is a link on how israel funded hamas to rival the plo
here is al jazeeras article on the cultural genocide of palestinians through bombing ancient historical sites and artefacts.
kind of seperate to all that but still related is how support for palestine affects other people. people are losing the jobs over supporting palestine (such as melissa barrera in scream). yemen, another third world country who has been going through crises such as food insecurity for years, has been suspended aid by the UN because it has been aiding palestine throughout the conflict.
The UN in general has been useless about calling for a ceasefire. The United States vetoed during a UNSC meeting because the USA sucks ass. you can look any of this up and they will come with multiple sources im just too tired to find something rn (i’m currently on vacay and heavily sleep deprived).
also general advice to not ask a percy jackson account but an account dedicated to spreading information on the palestine-israel apartheid because they would be able to help you more. yes, ive talked about it on this account but that doesnt mean i’m qualified to explain 75 years of oppression.
#sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes#or if i misswd anything crucial. because i know i did#there are reputable sources out there that wont spread misinformation but will be biased#so just use your critical thinking when reading#not riordanverse#ask#anon#palestine#free palestine
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every time i hear a freaky grandma nitpick JFK's weight after 1960 an angel loses its wings and god kills a kitten. I cant ever understand why they [american public] are so fixated with his appearance and especially his weight. It just screams fatphobia. literally no one is dying if he gained a few pounds . its not ww3. The way its said is always just so condescending and backhanded? putting his early life his illnesses his medications and his plenty near-death experiences into consideration i am damn glad he managed to be even if only a little, HEALTHY . something he literally never got the chance to say about himself
you can say that it's a given considering his whole campaign strategy was built around his *youth* and looks in general but that does not take away from the RUTHLESSNESS i see from people when his weight is the subject of matter. and thats from today in *2024* like jesus christ imagine how it was in the 60s 😭
you can say that the "reason he put on weight" (as if it even needs a reason, he wasnt overweight or anything at all) was to look less boyish and more like formidable or something for the elections. he already had to deal with criticism on being too young for the presidency. And all of that isnt something to be ashamed or remorseful of at all either?? I genuinely dont get why so many to this day just outright degrade him for it. as if a middle aged man not being borderline underweight is satan's incarnate.
speaking of underweight, he was the aforementioned for YEARS during his service in the senate and the house. having just returned from ww2 with near fatal injuries he was clearly ill and malnourished. And yet i still see people romanticize it as if its something commendable. You can commend him pulling through and getting his health together even if just barely, not whatever people glorify of his illness
If you read a little back you can see i mentioned his early life. well yeah thats cause his parents single handedly almost gave him and his siblings [tw] || eating disorders || [unfortunately i wouldnt be surprised if he had one] from disturbingly young ages . Im certain that it did a number on him and stuck to some degree. So I am damn glad he was able to break out of it [or at least look like he did , i cant tell you whether he did manage to break out or not considering he was hypervigilant on his appearance till the day he hit the grave atp
plus im pretty sure some of his medicine consisted of cortisone [known for puffing up the face and leading the patient to gain weight]. I hate how hyperfixated people are with his weight and body. yeah no damn wonder he was so worried 24/7 and love or hate the man literally no one should have to go through that. theres so much more i wanna say rn but im tired of yapping
#jfk#us presidents#us history#history#apush#ap us history#john f kennedy#kennedy#jack kennedy#the kennedys#theres so much more i want to say but i cannot articulate atm im conking out dawg#60s#potus#he wasnt even fattttt#nowhere near so#considering his diseases he was pretty in shapeAND NOT LIKE THAT MATTERS ANYWAY??? BDCAUSE YOU CAN STILL BE PRACTICING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE#HILE BEING A CERTAIN WEIGHT????#by the way thats like a 6 foot 1 middle aged man tf are people expecting also can i mention that being POTUS is STRESSFUL?#stress does a number on your health#PHYSICALLY#top
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okay but like. genuinely its very annoying trying to look deeper into my aromantic side. lots of ranting below cut.
becuase if I look too hard I start to see that yeah... I'm actually more on the spectrum of aromantic than actually just aro, but at the same time I'm like. terrified of ever being in a relationship. even if I do realize it's not something that I can't ever feel at all, it's just something I have a lot of realllyyy complicated feelings and fear towards. but YES, I am still aromantic no matter what you think cause 1. I said I am, and 2. being aro is a spectrum. and I still have no idea what the heck a crush is?? or feeling attraction towards people?? like I think... even if I CAN love it's really not in a way that's understandable or able to put into words like "crush" or "attraction". because I just don't feel those things. do I feel love?? I don't really know. I just know I feel something. and that's all I know. and its also annoying cause, I feel like it also makes it harder for me to explain how I'm a sex-repulsed ace. I feel like there was always this expectation around aces that, even though we may not want sex, "if you have a partner you need to make them happy which means doing things you dont want-" JUST. NO. IM SICK AND TIRED OF SEEING THAT TAKE. I understand some aces don't mind it. but it should not be something you expect of us. that's just messed up and I shouldn't have to explain why. ...I feel like some of the fear I have around romance is from the fact its often associated with sex and because I'm so far on the repulsed side of being ace, it drives me away from even thinking about romance at all. it drives me away from the idea of EVER being in a relationship because I don't want anything to do with that specific part of it. I feel like I'm too specific, I feel like I have far too many boundaries, too many conditions, that I couldn't ever be in a relationship because of how many things I'm uncomfortable with, that literally no one would really want to deal with me being like that. I feel like, to have someone be with me would be WRONG because I don't want to put them through all of what I am. I don't know if I could ever BELIEVE that someone would WANT to be with me when there's so much that I could not do, simply because I would hate doing those things. And at the same time, what if I did become more comfortable with romantic love? I probably wouldn't, but what if I did, and the other person was not? it just seems impossible to ever find someone who would be okay with it either way. it seems like I'd either have to be disappointing someone, or end up driving them away. and even if they said that they don't mind, how would I be able to believe that they really mean it? and how would I find someone like that that I ALSO feel connected to?? It almost seems the deeper I look, the more I find that I feel like- I just don't believe in it. I don't believe I could ever work with anyone. And again I- don't even get crushes? or attraction? so i don't understand why I'm even thinking about this? its like... yeah maybe if the literal Perfect Being existed, someone who could put up with the way that I am, but, they don't. and I wouldn't feel attraction for them anyways so WHY does it matter? I don't know. It all just seems so. Unreal. It's difficult to tell where the line between "this is because im aromantic" and "this is becuase I am feeling self-hatred again" sits
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Yo
The online therian community sucks
Some of it really does. From what I've seen from tiktok? eugh yeah. and it's really not as welcoming on other platforms as it is here. I'm happy for all of the positive aspects and good people i've found, the accessibility to resources and knowledge is something i really adore. But I cant say anything for in person interactions or I guess? the in person community? Haven't met another therian or nonhuman out in the wild </3 I'm envious of everyone who has lmao
I dont know enough of the online therian community to actually be able to say if anythings wrong with it or if there's something we could do to improve, but im open to suggestions.
I get the feeling this was likely sent as hate, but I'm very optimistic pfft
If it was sent as hate, lets try to work though this yeah?
So first things first, I'm tired and a very flawed being with limited knowledge on this topic. I'm gonna be wrong and considerably ungraceful with some things, and i welcome anyone to add on where they can. Now, lemme give it a shot.
By 'sucks' i'm taking it as you personally don't like it. Not liking something is perfectly okay, but going out of your way to tell someone that you personally do not like something that is theirs is mean, and not a good look. I know you've likely heard that everywhere, too. Its a seemingly simple message that a lot of people just don't understand or ever manage to apply to their lives because they don't care to.
Let's try and explain it.
So hate? Why spread it? Normally it comes from dissatisfaction in the self, or situation the person is in or was in. Growing up and being in unhealthy environments contributes a lot. Anywhere with particular societal expectations has ingrained this toxic cookie cutter type mentality on top of whatever they've been taught by their life this far. I understand why people choose to hate, but it's only going to keep the cycle repeating. That is feeling awful and then being awful because of it.
People tend to spread hate the most when they hate themselves. It is always taught. Sometimes by people who are ill intended but sometimes they genuinely meant well, they themselves just didn't know any better. What matters now is what're you going to do with it? This awful painful feeling? Most people just put it back out into the world perpetuating the cycle, and that is the easier thing to do, but unlearning it is the best thing you can do for yourself and others.
We've been taught that only certain things are okay or should be accepted, but there's really not any harm in it if it's not hurting anyone. And that goes for everything non harmful such as wearing clothes not in fashion or liking sea turtles a lot, even all together looking or working different, not just therianthropy or nonhumans.
Learning that other things, sometimes besides just what you've been taught, are okay will help you accept vastly different people and situations in life. And most of all! Yourself.
From what I've seen people throw out hate because they think they have to be one certain way, and then this thing that was originally meant to keep them safe is harming them and others. They've made a little metal cage in their head, and now the bars and joints are cutting into them. They've far out grown it, and have no reason to stay in the cage, but it's safe to them. It kept them safe from whatever was out of the cage. That thing is long gone of course but it was a very scary experience. Stepping out is horrifying if you think a tiger is going to bite you.
You need to evaluate if you're actually in a safe space to set out of the cage, whether you feel safe or not. Be patient with yourself and all of that. Just remember you're a person who's never done this before, you're not going to have a good idea of what you're doing or anything. It's okay to fuck up. Just start little.
It really pains me when i see hate online, because I just worry for that person. I know someone who isn't just parroting what they've heard wouldnt do that. It just paints a picture of dissatisfaction and gives them an uncomfortable air. I really wish everyone could be okay and learn it feels much better to be open minded and grow. It's like they're putting themselves in a blender and saying "this! this is the perfect form!" and man, im rambling now and dont remember my point. It is past my bedtime. but!! I want to help.
I want to help everybody. Everybody is fuckin awesome they just dont know it yet, and i can help if they are willing. I can show them if they're willing. I love everybody, maybe not their actions or how they feel sometimes but everyone is a person or being and that's worthy of love. That's enough. so get up there and change smth, make your life a little better, sit outside without your phone for a bit, watch a ted talk while you brush your teeth. its fucken awful now, but you'll never see if it gets better if you jsut stop seeing all together. Its a new day everyday, you get a fresh start so often, so many opportunities to do what you can. Even just thinking about it is a start if you cant pull yourself to take that first step. The first is the hardest but i truly believe life wouldn't throw smth at you that you couldn't handle. You can do it, one step at a time.
And now it's late for me, and i hope the best for everyone. i think i lost my point half way through, but after rereading it a few times i still cannot tell. I hope it is good enough :salute:
Wait i think i just realized you're the lamb. if im remembering the name correctly.
#raspberry asks#tw hate#just in case <3#i went on and on and on#and maybe its a little over repeated but i think that the message is more important#i bestow upon thee!#my unfiltered optimism and enthusiasm#i was supposed to do laundry not write this for nearly two hours pfft#WAIT I LITERALLY DONT THINK I HAVE TIME TO DO IT NOW HAAHAH#you're worth me rewearing my pants though :pointing at viewer:#therian#nonhuman#alterhuman#alterbeing#alterhumanity#guh i dont wanna put this where it shouldnt belong#callin that good
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