#im tired im tired im tired i dont care abt any of this
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SO fucked up that when u study languages they also make u study architecture history and ant biology and economy and european politics hierarchy so by the end of the semester i still cant tie a proper sentence in any language but sure i can differentiate the neo gothic style from rococo or tell you what a bull market is
#shut up dave#im tired im tired im tired i dont care abt any of this#i mean i do enjoy architecture and art periods. i dont want to be required to know all of them#i have an exam tomorrow and one on sunday and one on wednesday and one on next saturday#then on monday and tuesday and the following saturday and monday too#and frankly. im only confident i can pass 3 maybe 4 of them#for the rest??? idk ill need to study and im very bad at that#but hey we got the grades back from the first exam!! the one i took last week and i got a 9 yippeee#that is out of 10#it was in german interpreting n like. genuinely. im good enough at consecutive interpreting that i dont think theres a way 4 me to fail#like even if i mess it up i cant do THAT bad#i had to do it 4 english today and i think i fucked up sooo big it was so embarrassing. but then we got to the critique of my performance#and. it was all the usual nitpicks? like few word choices#the occasional discordance with adjectival conjugation. few points that 'havent clearly come across'#in my mind i had missed like a whole half of the speech but apparently it was p good still#now the problem is. same prof who teaches that subject also teaches specialized languages#and im. very bad at that one for simple reason that i have not processed any information all year#um maybe next time dont make your class about the stock market? idk just a suggestion. i dont care for wallstreet or whatever.#tho to b fair i didnt care for the european parliament last year either so ig u just cant win me on those terms#but if we get to specializing on the judiciary field i think i wouldnt be able to keep ignoring it. because of the circumstances#i have two more shirt designs to finish before the month ends but as u can see school wants me dead at the same time#one of said designs is a full 7 character thing :/#and the other. well ive already made 3 thumbnails for it and nothing rly clicks the way i want it to
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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"I should've seen the signs" I feel like Stoick was basically reliving the way he lost Valka.
To him, after a lifetime of wanting nothing but to kill a dragon, Hiccup's suddenly and inexplicably changed his mind. To him, Hiccup saying he can't kill them is just like when Valka refused to and tried convincing others as well, then as a result was 'killed' by one herself.
To him, way Hiccup tossed his weapon and shield to the side then approached Hookfang while speaking about how dragons aren't what people think they are probably bares an uncomfortable resemblance to the way Valka put down her weapon and stared a dragon in the eyes and as a result was taken.
To him, attempting to do anything but preemptively defend yourself against a dragon will only end in tragedy, so he has to do anything he can to stop Hiccup before it's too late.
(And just like with Valka, he unintentionally escalated the situation by trying to protect Hiccup but only agitated the dragon, causing it to panic and react, inadvertently putting someone he loves in danger. again)
Stoick of course, wasn't acting rationally, but it makes sense when you think about how traumatizing Valka's 'death' must've been for him (and how much Hiccup reminss him of her); he watched her get taken, presumably killed, and couldn't do anything about it.
#THE PARALLEL GHSSHRBFK THE PARALLELS#'so everything in the ring was a trick? a lie?' he was so elated when he though hiccup was finally taking after him#he convinced himself so hard that This was the real hiccup he's finnaly going to be a proper viking a real member of the tribe#and he was so proud and glad he finally had something he could connect with his son over#but again he'd convinced himself of all that. he completely ignored everything hiccup had to say#in his eagerness to actually be a Family to actually bond with his child#he was so stuck with this fake image of Hiccup the Dragon Slayer he'd convinced himself of to the point#when it all fell through he felt almost betrayed#betrayed and scared#scared he made a horrible irrational and emotionally charged decision of essentially disowning his son#im not saying stoicks a good parent. hes not. but hes trying and alone and taking care of an entire village as well as hiccup#and all the unprocessed trauma and emotional repression#hes not great but hes not bad either. hes trying.#hes trying and its not enough but at least it got better#i love stoick#parents of autistic kids they dont understand moment#httyd#stoick the vast#stoick haddock#hiccup haddock#valka haddock#httyd analysis#maybe?#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#haddock family#moth.txt#also pls dont tell me abt how valka and the 2nd movie wasnt planned yet. ik that but i like expanding on things#and pondering a characters reasoning for certain decisions bc its fun and makes them all the more fascinating#post rewatch 1am thoughts go crazy (sorry if any of this is like redundant or confusing. im tired) if u read the tags ily
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i truly have no tolerance for this fandom shittin on random fans personal trans headcanons. someone saw themselves and their experience in this character, isnt that beautiful? why dont you mind your business and focus on your own fan stuff? wouldnt that make you happier? someones headcanon doesnt negate yours. what the fuck is wrong with yall. its playing make believe x2. its just a headcanon. real life trans folks are in active danger right now and some of yall are wasting all your energy abusing others over which pronoun set figments of someone elses imagination 'should' be using
#our t#this is *any* trans hc it doesnt matter the flavour of the trans headcanon. i dont have time for that shit i have real problems#if i see one more fight over jegbert or dave on this site i s2g#if june happens on screen like if we SEE june happen on screen then that will be canon. even for a single panel she will be canon#but genderbend aus have existed since the dawn of fuckin time and an au isnt gonna suddenly blast june's canon transness outta existence#like what are yall TALKING about.#and im saying 'if' w/ a heavy fuckin sigh bc while the hsbc team has stated that they have plans no one knows#when or where or how thats gonna happen. i want it to happen & i have my own hopes for how it will but we'll just have to see#but this aint abt rep yall just want justification to punch e/o in the face & call it 'fighting against ur intercommunity oppressors'#or whatever cause none of yall are brave enough to get organized#and actually try to make changes in ur communities.....headcanons will never be actual representation#as for dave. yall know that transmascs and cis boys also struggle with masculinity right? esp hegemonic pressures and ideals?#thats kinda what LE is about? thats why so many trans guys see themselves in the striders. thats why i think theyre supposed to be cis#but thats ALSO why so many transfemme folks see themselves in dave. and that should be rlly beautiful!!! we're not so different!!!#its almost like that power structure harms everyone in different ways bc of how we treat e/o inside of the structure!!!!!#i cant TELL you how many of my cis guy friends have cptsd from just not being allowed to express sadness or joy in an acceptable way#and davepeta being nonbinary only adds to this!!! davepetas existence in contrast to dave DIRECTLY MIRRORS roxy in meat/candy#but yall are never gonna be fuckin ready for that so what the fuck ever i guess#i just feel constantly forced outside of this fandom or scorned as a Bad Tranny bc im very literally in the middle of this shit#and i dont believe one style of presentation is inherently better or morally righteous than the other. like what are yall expecting#are yall expecting to be let into tranny heaven bc u wear a skirt and say 'haha yeah all instances of mascness is grossss' be for real#just rlly highlights the fact that no one in this fandom wants to care abt intersex trans ppl or hear them talk or try to#contribute to gender analysis. its not girlboss enough i guess. sorry for not drinking the radfem rhetoric thats embedded itself#into this site i suppose. hope the fandom gets better but idk i dont think thats gonna happen anytime soon#stop treating femininity as smth inherently Morally Good its all 'divine feminine moon phase' bullshit slightly repackaged#to include transfemme folks. which none of yall should want. its a direct pushback to actual feminism but ok all mascs evil bc LE i guess#im not missing the fact that this fandom cracks down hard on queer mascness & tries to 1:1 equate that hegemonic cismasculinity either#yall aint slick at all. sorry im just. fucking tired. feeling like i dont exist & my words dont matter
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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Something I really especially love about btas is that every character is just… a human. Batman doesn't just show up and incapacitate 30 people no issue, he has to fight and brawl with just 1 or 2 henchmen. He can be taken out by hits and poisons and such. The rogues have to surrender when the cops get guns to their faces, and can be overpowered even by normal people. Joker isn't some pure evil incarnation of the Devil or whatever, he's just… a really bad man. Same for every other villain and character. And Bruce actually gets to show personality and emotion beyond Brooking and Grunting. He makes jokes and laughs and gets sad.
I'm really getting to understand why people call this the best Batman adaptation.
#my dc posting#batman#btas#batman the animated series#im not done w it and not even watching it in any particular order#but im currently watching Trial and the rogues are just 👌so peak#''could batman beat superman'' my brother in christ what the fuck are you talking about. he mainly fights like regular ass gangsters and sh#t that's not his natural habitat!!!#like idk when reading comics or fanfic its like. they dont feel grounded in reality anymore#but in btas the movement!!! the fucking movement and timing and lack of embellishment or sometimes even ost!!!#like yeah these are just some ppl in costumes duking it out!! goddd this show is so peak why cant everything be like this#im so tired of modern batman. mr 'i show no emotion ever complete control freak beat my kids' is not my guy!!!#also harley fucks so severely. just all the rogues. they are so horrible and toxic and nothing makes me happier than watching them do fucke#shit#yknow???#this show does apparently then later on commit the unforgivable sin of skipping jason todd in favour of tim#just like young justice#so i'm never gonna watch those seasons/shows#bc jason's my robin and i barely tolerate any other. which sucks bc nobody is interested in putting him in one of these cartoons!!!#shut the fuck up abt tv shows and live action adaptations who cares?? i hate actors and irl shit!!! animate my boy nnnNOW!!
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english jinriki utau is coming along!! hes based on a tts so he sounds kinda harsh and choppy (so im tuning him more robotically than i usually do). im actually enjoying working on his design. which is rare! so theres a wip of that too. his name is J, hes a decommissioned aquarium tour android. and hes just a little guy. he likes going to the beach and pointing out all the animal species he can find. hes not supposed to be able to sing And his vocal system is damaged, but he hangs out with androids who can sing and hes enamored with music so he tries his best
#spooksposting#oc#my art#vocal synth#utau#J#video#its almost 6 am......... i fucked up bigtime#u know i had to use a mili song....... i rly need to play library of ruina actually its so intimidating though 😭😭😭#i love this dude#most of his memory got corrupted so he really only knows what his model was intended for but based on bits and pieces#there was a long time between his decommissioning and abt a decade before the present where he was cared for by someone#and there were definitely alterations made to some of his systems but hes unsure what#he has his own kind of grief abt not being able to remember any of that bc he knows he was happy. whatever that means for him#i dont think even he knows#but hes chillin bc hes still alive after all this time#sorry i got back into vocal synth stuff recently and immediately started worldbuilding and shit w my utaus#and ofc they ended up way more personal than most of my ocs bc they all involve my own voice or directly interacting w characters who do 🫠#theyre all androids or computer programs so far in-universe and im like ah! perfect for dissecting all my brain processes#oooh i get chatty when im tired#anyawy my head hurts goot bye#spooks vsynth
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can i be a hater for a second.
people whining abt their fav chars/ships not having content rlly pisses me off sometimes😭 like im sorry but why are you sitting around doing nothing and not just expecting but demanding people to complete free labour for you. weirdass. if theres not content for what you want then Make It. and if you cant because youre unskilled talentless pathetic unoriginal boring deficient in all areas. then im so sorry but thats on you😭😭😭 like if you dont have time to do it yourself i get that but then why do you have the time to post 20948395 rants a day complaining.😭😭😭
bruh i need to delete tiktok every time i open it i become enraged at the dumbass entitled takes on there.
#ofc any of my beloved mutuals upset bc they want to read stuff without doing the work themselves ur automatically exempt from this<3#im j tired of hearing 'theres no content abt x character!!!' when 1. there is. if its not to ur taste thats its own thing.#and 2. U CAN DO IT URSELF.😭😭😭#nyxi cant stfu#almost anyone can make some sort of content for what they like. idc. edits fic art analysis fucking Shitposts i dont care#if youre not making Any of that and you ONLY talk abt a certain character or ship to complain that no one talks abt them .#i am LITERALLY STRINGING YOU UP TO A TREE OVERLOOKING A CLIFF AND WATCHING YOU FLAIL AROUND IN THE BREEZE.
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Hi Toxooz, how do you get yourself to draw so frequently? 👀👀👀
bc i have literally 84 things going on at once in my brain at all times that my highly visually obsessed brain Has To physically get in front of my eyes so that i can see or else will i think abt it over and over again and Brother I'm always envisioning things characters scenes scenarios outfits designs colors all of it in my cranium like angry itchy itchy ITCHY bees until i draw them out lmfao even if i don't know what to specifically draw at the current moment imma still end up drawing somehow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think at this point it's literally hardwired into my brain that I Gotta draw its what I've been doing since I could hold a pencil tbh it's how i cope with being -gestures vaguely- Here and alive, i actually gotta force myself to take a day off and schedule days where I DONT draw bc I know it's wearing on my hands and wrists 😬 I guess physically drawing grounds me in a way and keeps me (mostly) sane like if I don't draw for a few days i start getting Vaguely Antsy it's fukkin weird and i think at this point my love for my characters has surpassed like any form of art block if that makes sense??? like they literally take up 92% of my brain if not more, and the only way to see them is to draw them but yeah it's just what i do it's my jelly n my jam which is why I'm literally so glad i realized that i don't want to make drawing a job/career bc God help me if i start dreading drawing bc of the stress of money I've been drawing like crazy for like 2 decades straight and I only wanna draw more man idk!!!!! It's just one of them 'how the brain formed around what you do an assload of times' thangs
Answer translation: idk I just like to draw a lot lmfao
#its like the kids say ✨💅its how i express myself✨💅#and dont get it twisted im aware this is not healthy lmfao#dont aspire to b like me just draw or dont draw man its abt the want#like i said drawing is just What I Do at this point i didnt train theres not some ''oh draw for at least 30 minutes a day' shit#i draw fast as shit (probably obviously ) and so much its probably unnatural AHA#the secret is make drawing the only outlet for your brain to not completely self implode at the mere idea of existing#for 24 years!!!!! :)#honestly thats why im getting progressively more Tired when every mf and their grandma tries to convince me to sell my shits#like brother this is a part of me how can i give away something i created and inevitably formed a bond with for like 100 bucks#i caint do it and so if i go in with the expectation to imediately give it away then man i dont even want to be making art in the first pl#like for me Personally if im not going to make something that i fall in love with and want to look at occasionally then#Literally what is the point of me making anything#what is the point of me making my body and mind create a piece if not for my own personal joy???#but thats just physical art ig#like digital stuff and selling it for money if some1 wants it im aight but physical paintings??? that shit is Me and Mine#like just bc i Can make art doesnt immediately mean i need to make money from it yknow#my brother in christ when it comes to the the only true outlet for me to find joy and inspiration in living i Do Not care about money#i will take any amount of shitty job abuse if it means i conserve my passion#ill get a scarring accident from welding before i will stress cry over a deadline for a project that i dont even want to do#absolutely terrified of that path and feeling it is The Worst for me#like literally thank FUCK i realized this when i was just in a community college and not balls deep in debt at some fancy university#granted late as all hell and all my opportunities of taking free welding classes in my early years have long passed but still glad#just stick me on an abandoned island with canvases n paint n shit and ill b fine#god knew if i managed my time better and wasnt Really Fucking Exhausted all the time i would be unstoppable#like ofc making money while drawing what i want is the dream no doubt but the chances of that are slim and the road to get there is even#slimmer#ANYWAY holy shit not to get hella preachy but i have Thots
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i think im gonna quit my job. i rlly dont think i can do this anymore. it is just so exhausting my body is falling apart i am in so much pain all the time. & it is so thankless too. i mean, thats not always true. i have clients that love me & i truly care about them & their dogs, but theres just - so many assholes. & ik thats everywhere. i get it. but i put in so much work for what? & something that i actually said to my bsf the other day - i could deal with my body falling apart if the pay was good. but it isnt!! & there isnt truly anyway for it to get better!! it was never my dream job to begin with, but i could stick with it, but i really think it is time for me to leave now, before too long & theres even more pressure for me to stay. i just cant do it anymore.
#God. i dont even know how to go about quitting tho#like two weeks isnt enough notice because im booked out for months. i have my own clientele that need somebody to take care of them#& there currently isnt any one else to do so#& if i told my boss i was thinking abt leaving im pretty sure she would flip out & kick me out on the spot#she would hate me. but i just truly cant keep going like this#im too tired & in too much pain to do anything. & i dont even have any time to do anything. or money.#another thing is - maybe this wouldnt be now if my boss would let us turn ppl away#but instead i get dogs where im literally like risking my life or a limb#& again for what? so someones dog can get a bath?#also im turning into such a negative & nasty person. i try not to be but i really am. i dont want to be. i want to be how i used to.#i cant sit or lay down without being in pain#n e ways … just needed to get this out b4 i try to talk to the ppl in my life abt it & they freak out on me
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well . i WAS going to go to sleep . but now i think maybe that is going to be delayed .
#⸸#got super paranoid earlier and locked all the doors and windows . was fine for a few hours . decided i was going to lay down for bed#and got so deeply anxious abt the . current shit . Plus i was so sure i heard someone in the house that i threw up .lmao . lol .#like i feel . fine now . i think maybe i ate something weird too . cause usually i just Feel like im going to puke . but oh well#i dont even know who im afraid of tbh . the cops showing up at my door ? my grandad ? ******* ??? simply unknowable#but whoever it is . i am just fucking terrified lmao#emeto ment#also speaking of the cops it is getting to the point where i dreaddddd coming home bcs i just know any day now we're gonna get a note from#the fucking blight officer . which like ..realistically idk if that actually poses any danger . but i am already terrified of the cops#showing up at my house lmao . not that my neighbors know or would care but like . it just looms over my head .#anyways . im tired again . gooooooodnightttttttt
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Why is "capitalist parrot" a character archetype and why do I love it
#wait is two characters enough to qualify as an archetype?#idk Im to tired too care#ducktales#ducktales 2017#mark beaks#aladdin#iago#aladdin iago#HAHA YALL THOUGHT I WAS DONT TALKING ABT THE BIRD FROM ALADDIN!!!!!!#JOKES ON YOU- I'M NEVER DONE#oh yeah if any of yall of other examples feel free to rb#ramblings#late night ramblings#kind of
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the phantom hourglass manga is the one i care about the most out of all of the loz manga and therefore the one i am most willing to rip apart because of its relation to the game, its own problems, and the potential that was lost or thrown away for any reason at all
making this separate than the list of things i liked about the phantom hourglass manga
im not going to be too organized about this; ill go by topic and in each topic go in chronological order through the manga and everything else will probably be all over the place
im not even going to touch the story yet and just go after the art off the bat because i really believe that this manga has the weakest art of all of them. i dont know if its due to some kind of time crunch or a lack of care but its really… im not expecting any of these books to have killer art, but in ph it just feels like there was less effort with inconsistencies in some designs and either very low detail or just absent backgrounds. this feels like a mean-spirited critique since i understand that manga is difficult to create and requires a lot of effort but its just visually… worse than the loz manga that came before or after it.
some specific grievances i have with the art are things like inconsistent designs of some characters (linebeck is hard to draw and i get that but hes just… never totally consistent) and some items like weapons (the shape of bellumbeck’s sword changes during the fight for some reason) and stuff is… left out. the fire temple has basically no layout since link’s just in some flavor of void for the entire blaaz fight. one of the panels with linebeck’s ship shows it from the behind at an angle where you should see the deck but its just not there
his ship is also missing its chimney on the cover art
this is also more of an opinion thing but the way astrid looks almost nothing like her game counterpart is just… it’s a nickpick based on opinion but that is Not The Same Character.
you can absolutely tell a fantastic story with lacking art, but the reason why im criticizing this manga’s art is because its the tenth in a series of manga who, up until this point, has had consistently good art, and then it drops off with weak backgrounds and character inconsistencies.
plus, i really care about how this story is visually portrayed.
the pacing, even with half of the story cut, is also a bit of a problem. as far as i'm aware, this is the only loz manga to have significant chunks of the story cut out, and while it admittedly works well with only half of the story, it fucks with the pacing a bit. specifically, it screws over linebeck's arc, which i'll talk about more in a different section, but it also kind of glosses over the phantom sword and (obviously) loses some possible time for further character exploration and whatever. the cut from the ghost ship right to jolene right to the final boss is, while handled well, kind of abrupt.
obviously, cutting half of the damn story will make what's kept feel a little too fast, but even some of the stuff more original to the manga is paced weirdly or is just... eh.
there's a bit after neri is found where linebeck decides to stop working with link and basically ditches him and this whole thing lasts one to two goddamn pages before everything is patched up and good and... why even include it if you turn the page and oh problem fucking solved. it's even a little out of character for linebeck at that point since a few pages before he's seen getting the sands of time for link and it's... it make sense but it's a really extreme character choice and while it serves its purpose (introducing the idea of linebeck not valuing other people very much and realizing that) it's still extremely brief.
the added stuff with linebeck being a past member of the ghost ship, while fine and interesting at first glance is also a strange choice that doesn't work all that well? it works for characterization and all of that but it makes for a weird situation with linebeck's character motivation where he's a coward and after the ghost ship for the treasure on it, but if he was present on the ghost ship literally as it was fucking gutted then he would know exactly what the danger of the ship is and want to avoid it no matter what. in the game his motivation for going after the ghost ship works because he doesn't know for certain whats on that ship and has never been on it. plus, aside from character backstory and whatever, it doesnt serve much of a purpose. linebeck even makes some comments about the ship's interior and the like but it all amounts to nothing because link never actually goes into the ship anyways. it's just a weird backstory to give linebeck.
the shuffling around (and cutting of one of) the three final bosses is also weird. it makes sense for the story order the manga goes with, but it actually lowers the stakes for the bellumbeck fight (in the game literally everything is on the line but in the manga its just linebeck and they absolutely use that to their advantage but still) and mixing the ghost ship fight and bellum fights make the final encounter really brief and kind of anticlimactic in some way. it's difficult to express, but the order of the final bosses in the game makes bellum a more interesting villain and melds with linebeck's arc in a much more interesting way. it feels like there was a specific reason for that given order and for the manga to just toss that aside means it loses something.
also reserving pretty much an entire chapter for jolene is A Choice to make. there's nothing wrong with using an adaptation to flesh out a character but here you don't learn anything new about jolene she just kind of makes very little sense in her motivations when you give her more screen time but dont change her from wanting to kill linebeck for fucking off but also still liking him maybe. good for you if you like jolene since she got more time here but they did pretty much nothing interesting with her
this is something i figured out while writing this, but the manga actually does Fuck All with the actual hourglass. you could've cut the fucking thing out and it wouldn't have effected the story too much. link never goes into the temple every again and the phantom sword is just. made on request with link having no interaction with it before using it to kill bellum. the only time the phantom hourglass is actually plot relevant aside from link first getting it and then using it to gather sand is when bellum tells link to bring it to the temple and then it's used exactly once to stop time and then it's used as proof that everything happened. oshus says link needs to use it and the sand to break the curse over the temple of the ocean king and then that never actually happens the sand and the hourglass is just used once to stop time once and otherwise it might as well not be in the story it's so weird. it's also implied that oshus needs the sand to restore tetra after he returns to his own true form but they dont say anything about that after he initially mentions it so who cares. oshus also tells link that zuaz will teach him how to defeat bellum. link never meets zuaz and still beats bellum anyways.
it feels like they cut the latter half of the story but forgot that the fucking majority of linebeck's entire goddamn character arc happens in that part of the story. sure, most of the cutscenes and whatever happens in the first part and linebeck does develop a bit in the first part but he doesn't really start to change until after the ghost ship, when you get his letter and his dialogue starts to change slightly to suggest that he's starting to like link more and care about something other than the possibility of treasure. the manga cutting out the latter half of the story but still making linebeck's arc end in similar places makes his arc feel really fast and even abrupt in the manga. he goes from being fully motivated to get treasure and still kind of selfish to caring a lot for link and deciding not to wish for treasure and the time was just NOT put in to make that a smooth transition.
honestly linebeck overall got fucked in the manga more than any other character. his arc was shafted, his characterization is strange and even kind of changed from the game, he's never drawn consistently and doesn't even look great since he seems to be stuck between two styles when he's drawn, he's more shallow and generally a less interesting character, and while most of that is probably a product of having one book to cover ph, it's still a problem.
like with all of the loz manga, the extremely limited amount of space and time the story is given absolutely fucks it over so you really are stuck with telling nothing more than an abridged and seriously inferior version of the story. i dont care how good the original stuff is if it barely qualifies as a good adaptation. the story wasn't told all of the way and none of the game's strengths are kept or expanded upon. you lose the majority of the best character's arc and depth. half of the story was cut. the title item is barely used. it feels like they didn't really care about adapting phantom hourglass and just hashed out a trimmed-down version of the story to fit into 188 pages and while there was some effort put in with a bit of a unique take on linebeck but it just falls flat when everything around it feels like it wasn't given a second thought.
i'm not suggesting that the author's didn't fucking care, i don't know what the process was with this, but it just... it doesnt feel like they actually wanted to earnestly create a good adaptation of this game. i have an altered perspective on all of this because this game is my special interest and something i deeply care about and inspect the little details of and it kinda just sucks that phantom hourglass never got a good adaptation because... this game has some serious potential for a really good extended adaptation.
Unlike the other Zelda games that the other manga cover, the structure of the journey in Phantom Hourglass has an insane amount of space for fleshing out of character, exploration of new concepts or character relationships, or just.. whatever you want. Providing you cover the original story, of course. Off the bat, there's a nebulous amount of travel time between islands, which can be used by authors for character moments and interactions and just little moments that can be used to further themes or concepts. You can use the implied time overseas between islands to have some interactions between Link and Linebeck. Show the three fairies hanging out with each other. Show the whole crew becoming closer to each other as time drags on.
Linebeck's existence and function within Phantom Hourglass alone is so fucking unique and amazingly good for an extended adaptation. In most other Zelda games, the companions are pretty much glued to Link's side and follows him through dungeons, or they're characters locked in a specific place, more or less divorced from Link's quest, but Linebeck is an integral part of the plot, present for every part of it as it advances, and yet he's out doing fuck-all while Link is in dungeons. He's a great excuse for authors to add detail to islands, write new characterization for background characters, or even just give Linebeck his own b-plot running concurrently with the game's normal plot. He's important to the plot and yet doesn't touch the gameplay; he's free to do whatever you want while Link does dungeon stuff. One possible idea I've mentioned before is the idea of, while Link is in the temple of the Ocean King, is to create and explore a possible relationship between Oshus and Linebeck. Scenes of them talking can be used to flesh out Oshus as a character and to add some extra depth to Linebeck and make his arc more interesting to follow.
There is... SO MUCH you can do with Phantom Hourglass if you care enough to do it, and I'm just so frustrated that we got this solid 4/10 of a manga.
#salty talks#bitching about the loz manga#hi if you think i'm wrong or made a mistake in this i implore you to fucking yell at me for it#i care about this game so fucking much that i would love to know if i fucked this up in any way#anyways uhhhh yeah. oof. it sucks.#i dont like jolene at all and have tags blacklisted to reflect that and will not touch stuff w/ her so thats why i dont read this much#jolene wanting to kill linebeck but still being implied to be attached to him makes me slightly uncomfortable ngl#probably one of the biggest reasons why i dislike her so much she gives me really bad vibes and is annoying#anyways. yall out here talking about how this manga has good dadbeck moments are fucking lying#maybe i cant see it because i have a good relationship with my dad but at best he's just. idk he gives a shit abt link at the most#i hate manga astrid i hate her so muhc. like. look at astrid in the game. what the fuck were the manga artists smoking#game astrid looks nothing like manga astrid and i like game astrid better.#this is incoherent bc im tired and i dont know how to write things like this and im so fucking tired#if you want clarification about any of this like you want me to talk about something specific?#send an ask or bring it up in a reblog or smth ill gladly discuss this book and why i kinda want to feed it to my dog#i just. game linebeck has queer vibes. game linebeck can be read as autistic#manga linebeck is neither. milquetoast ass fuckin wet cardboard take on a character#i dont even hate him he just fucking sucks compared to game linebeck#like. i hold game bellumbeck in such high regard bc everything about is is wonderful its a beautiful climax#every little thing about it is great i love the stakes i love the implications you can make about linebeck about bellum#the music the atmosphere the events leading up to it its place compared to other final bosses#manga bellumbeck is cool but its not what it could be#i didnt add any more photo evidence for art grievances bc theres a lot. bellumbeck's design changes between chapters#can you tell when making this post is no longer fueled by tired hate. can you#i thought about painting a target on my back and tagging this as phantom hourglass but thats a bad idea lol
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if someone else shows more than two indications that they like a thing that's a good, normal way to tell they like that thing, which is normal, because people like things. but if I have more than two indications of liking a thing that means i am irrevocably obsessed with the thing in a way that deserves mockery actually. this is a worldview that makes sense
#i do. a lot of mental gymnastics to internally justify my anxiety. and its fucking exhausting and i hate it#levi.txt#i talked about carrie in One class Once mentioning i was writing my essay on it. i made a halloween wallpaper w a still from the movie#bc i like carrie! its an interesting story. its not smth ive ever become completely hyperfixated on but i do like it#but i couldnt use the wallpaper for more than a week bc i was like 'people are going to think im obsessed'#like. i cant show any interest in smth or else it becomes 'people will think youre a freak about it'#were going to watch tlou in class on halloween and i just know its going to be difficult#bc whenever smth i love is mentioned i have to put a lid on my emotions to the point that it barely looks like i care at all#bc me being excited is so often 'too much' (both in my mind and historically from the perspective of others)#i am IN the 'obsessed with stories' major and i wont even let myself be visibly into stories. make it make sense#just. aughhhh i dont hold literally anyone else to these standards and its tiring! and i wish my brain would stop torturing me w it#i wish i could just be excited and passionate abt my favourite things without feeling guilt or anxiety abt it#im working on it. im doing it anyway and its improving its just slow going
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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#so theres this terrible thing i do where i force myself to get up way too early and go into the lab before anyone else#bc i get overwhelmed when lots of ppl r around. its terrible bc if u do that over and over it kinda breaks ur brain#but there is something i like abt walking around while its still dark out and on ones on thr roads looking up at the stars and theyre all#haloed here bc theres actually moisture in thr air here. i feel. idk how i feel. more normal i guess. like neutral but in a negative way.#like i dont really care about anything. probably im just tired. i haven't been sleeping well. maybe its the birth control#which im still taking bc im too curious abt how my mood fluctuates when my hormones r controlled. or maybe its my mood. but ive been tired#and ive not been having fun. i just feel like im very no thoughts empty head. here's info do u have anything to say abt it? any observations#? no. no. cant read cant think cant talk in a way that makes may sense. what do we do abt it? i dunno. i dunno.#sleep maybe. stop taking the birth control maybe. talk to my councilor monday definitely. give her an insane rant abt how im definitely not#bipolar lol i think ive got a point. but i go back and forth idk. it doesn't really matter. i just find it interesting#sigh. remember when i had time to draw? remember when i wanted to draw? now im just tired#whatever. ill sleep and feel better. get my executives to function maybe. maybe. but probably not#i did cut off like 3 inches of hair on impulse. got that chin length depression haircut. classic#unrelated
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