#like just bc i Can make art doesnt immediately mean i need to make money from it yknow

[toxooz]

Hi Toxooz, how do you get yourself to draw so frequently? 👀👀👀

bc i have literally 84 things going on at once in my brain at all times that my highly visually obsessed brain Has To physically get in front of my eyes so that i can see or else will i think abt it over and over again and Brother I'm always envisioning things characters scenes scenarios outfits designs colors all of it in my cranium like angry itchy itchy ITCHY bees until i draw them out lmfao even if i don't know what to specifically draw at the current moment imma still end up drawing somehow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think at this point it's literally hardwired into my brain that I Gotta draw its what I've been doing since I could hold a pencil tbh it's how i cope with being -gestures vaguely- Here and alive, i actually gotta force myself to take a day off and schedule days where I DONT draw bc I know it's wearing on my hands and wrists 😬 I guess physically drawing grounds me in a way and keeps me (mostly) sane like if I don't draw for a few days i start getting Vaguely Antsy it's fukkin weird and i think at this point my love for my characters has surpassed like any form of art block if that makes sense??? like they literally take up 92% of my brain if not more, and the only way to see them is to draw them but yeah it's just what i do it's my jelly n my jam which is why I'm literally so glad i realized that i don't want to make drawing a job/career bc God help me if i start dreading drawing bc of the stress of money I've been drawing like crazy for like 2 decades straight and I only wanna draw more man idk!!!!! It's just one of them 'how the brain formed around what you do an assload of times' thangs

Answer translation: idk I just like to draw a lot lmfao

[getitoffyourchestofficial]

hi this is a lot im sorry. i love to say words and dump shit that upsets me with no real correlation. my bad /gen (genuine) (idk if you know tone indicators im sorry ough)

you dont really Have to cook up a proper response to this i just need to put it somewhere where i wont immediately get piles of advice that i cant use. i know its well-meaning but ultimately the whole situation is ou of anyones control

(also putting this 🎪 here so i can try to find it later)

im stuck in a sisyphean nightmare of a weekly cycle: i have a good day -> my mood skyrockets -> i have a bad day -> my mood plummets -> rinse and repeat. at this point i think it might be a mental condition bc something doesnt even really have to Ruin My Day, i just have to face a minor inconvenience and then suddenly im all doom-and-gloom depression for 3-5 business days before springing back up as if nothing ever happened to do it all again. my mom says i might have bpd or bipolar disorder (i always get the two confused) because she has it and we just havent seen anyone about it, mostly because we dont have the money to see any doctors most of the time. i also kinda dont wanna have either of them? not in like an asshole way but in a these-people-face-stigma-that-i-dont-know-if-i-can-emotionally-handle way. in a im already queer and fat and poor and disabled in multipled ways and overall unsavory to neurotypicals/cishets/Default Settings way. yknow

todays inciting incident was a shitty shitty halloween carnival that didnt even have the thing i was excited for, didnt have any food, had lines that were miles long (hyperbole), was too hot, and i only got 8 shitty halloween things from -- half of which were lollipops, with half of those just being the same 2 flavors but Again. we stayed for 2 hours before my mom decided she didnt wanna be out of the house anymore as usual. i cant be too mad at her because shes mentally ill in the direction of "i dont want to go anywhere because my anxiety will spike" but unfortunately im mentally ill in the direction of "if i cannot leave the house to Do Things at my own pace at least once a week i will fall into a deep depression" so we clash pretty bad most of the time. this was also following multiple minor inconveniences mind you. and was also trailed by multiple minor inconveniences. it just has not gone well. this halloween is just shaping up to suck bc i was supposed to have a whole party but we had money issues so it had to be cut down to just 2 people for a sleepover, then one of them went out to see his grandma in another state and the other is apparently in the fucking hospital right now??? at least according to his posts. and i cant blame them for these either! schedules conflict and sometimes you go to the Fuckig Hosital. its out of anyones control but it still feels like shit. so its looking like my only shot at having any fun this halloween is the trunk-or-treat at my school and idk if im even allowed to go bc i had to drop out for mental health reasons and they told me i wasnt allowed on school grounds anymore. idk if that applies here. which btw. way to make a depressed kid feel worse. you can NEVER come to this high school again or we'll ARREST YOU. fuckin bullshit. BUT thats off topic the synopsis is that this halloween sucks so far and i dont really expect it to get better which extra sucks bc im turning 18 next year and i dont wanna let this be the last hurrah for my number one favorite holiday. i cant host fucking parties for my friends after then. im gonna be busy trying to fuck off to the other end of the country. i wont have TIME for it. idk. it sucks. this sucks. fuck art and fuck you /ref (reference) /nbh (nobody here)

Ik you don't want advice for this so I'll just put it on the blog.

And idk if you want it but here's a tea

☕

[shameboree]

hey kels how did you figure out what you'd do for work?

do you mean profession or specialty? ill answer BOTH bc the answer is the same

GOT CANCER. WENT SEPTIC. ALMOST DIED. the single most influential event of my LIFE this is why i am so patient and like positive or whatever bc literally nothing is worse than almost dying. that shit SUCKED. anyway i knew i wanted to do SOMETHING in oncology but it took me years to even begin processing that shit and i worked FOR YEARS after in a meangirls viper pit i refer to exclusively as babyhell (daycare (derogatory)) so it took me a hot minute to really figure myself out.

DISCLAIMER that i am the kinda person who makes life choices QUICK AS SHIT bc i know myself really well and i have a pretty good sense of what i want. idk if u can tell but im a v fast pace kind of person so when i decided to become a nurse it was in like a 5min stretch of Thinking and then i was just like Yeah this is It. my RAPID FIRE thought process in those 5 min was basically is this a field where my personal attributes and experiences can make a positive impact on other ppl?? the answer was YES. i also thought CAN I MAKE MONEY?? the answer here was ALSO yes. TWO BIRDS, A SINGLE STONE.

in baby hell i WAS making positive impacts on kiddos and their families (several families left when i left bc of how much they trusted me blah blah) but like it was NOT rewarding to me. too much stress too little payoff bc i love kids but they arent my PASSION u feel?? ALSO pay was TRASH GARBO. ANYWAY when i thought abt working w cancer patients or people who i could relate to in terms of life/traumatic medical experiences it was something i immediately vibed w bc i knew that common ground could facilitate meaningful therapeutic interactions in an otherwise massively stressful environment.

for me, personally, its a matter of giving back. my oncology nurses fucking ROCKED and made me feel like a person during a time where even well meaning ppl reduced me to a pitiable diagnosis they could use to fuel their tragedy porn. i wanna PAY THAT SHIT FORWARD, so even working medsurg, the most NOTORIOUSLY MISERABLE AND SOUL SUCKING type of nursing there is (memes abt medsurg nurses wishing for death or being dead inside or crying every shift are TOO REAL) i still dont regret becoming a nurse and still find meaning and satisfaction in it even during shifts that make me feel batshit miserable and soul sucked.

choosing a Job or a Career doesnt need to hinge on WORTHINESS or POSITIVE IMPACT or whatever, ig its like what you find fulfilling!! and also not necessarily what youre GOOD at (eg a lot of GOOD AT DRAWS ppl go into art/ani industry and fucking LOATHE it every day. this is why i did not go to art skool). theres that pressure that u gotta figure urself out young as fuck blah blah etc but life can be long!!! you can go turtle pace. there were several 50-60+yos in my nurse school cohort!!

i am trying not to get soapbox pep talky here. anyway i only am an insane fast track nutbag bc i almost died, so basically thats how i make all my life choices.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

[transrightsjimin]

honestly class consciousness is one hell of a ride bc i didnt think abt it much until more recent years. i told my friend as a kid we were poor nd my mom got so pissed at that, nd i mean shes right that we rly werent as bad off as it could be, the family is just working class. but when you suddenly realize youre not on equal footing w middle class ppl, or ppl like my uncle who is one of the very rare few who started working class and not highly educated nd ended up becoming a millionaire in the US (im still coming for his wallet istg), its suddenly all... oh wait there are ppl whose reality is not this full of hurt and few opportunities.

like, being in a university in one of the most diverse cities in the country nd still having so few poc on it and most poc u meet are international students, and having heard some posh classmates talk abt studying "just like our parents" like it's the most evident thing in the world (while im the only person in the family that did college level, nvm university, and family was super proud, it's not a given to us that you do this!), hearing classmates claim that poverty and class are not really relevant for the netherlands anymore bc you now have the nouveau riche and art is less elitist now, so apparently class is less of a thing?? nd university is just such a wakeup call or a slap in the face bc my primary school was called ghetto, my high school was called ghetto, but then my art college prided itself on being very "diverse" while i had never seen this many white students in one place, and it's even worse for my university.

shit like my brother being in prison all the time when i was younger, my best friend when i was 4 having to move away bc her mom ODed on drugs, living next to a house that had 5 weed plantations in it over the years nd our greek neighbours even got pulled into that mess bc they needed money, living across a 'coffee house' tht stored rifles in it, someone across the street setting his house (and thus half the street bc dutch homes are often connected as one row) on fire, my dad working 50 hours a week as a parcel deliverer bc w less hours he doesnt earn enough, even if the fucking job means carrying 80 kilo boxes up stairs and other bullshit, his stress leading to two TIAs (strokes), my mom being super disabled by many physical impairments nd illness nd still not being granted help in the household bc she had a 'healthy daughter and boyfriend' nd also her being left w/o an income for 2 years, practically every high school friend's mom being disabled in some way, then at my mail delivery job where my coworkers complain abt another deliverer bc it took her 3 months to get back to work again nd they called her ‘lazy‘ for not working immediately despite having multiple illnesses and disabilities bc, and i quote, my colleague said “i’m in my sixties and have arthritis and i’m working too“ dude :// hes literally the person my other colleagues say has had it hard and needs a break, and then those coworkers too need a break nd have disabilities nd are nearing pension age and still doing this work while trying to do household work and all that stuff at the same time. my mom said my cousin’s job (in construction; scaffolder) pays “really good“ (i wonder if its really that much bc it’s apparently around €1700-2700 on average) but that he already gets bad physical complaints from it while hes young nd formerly rly fit and might need to quit soon and then figure something out like studying for something else if possible.

the neighbourhood i used to live in as a baby was ‘too criminal‘ according to my parents so then they moved out to the town next to it into a neighbourhood that was eventually labelled among the top ranked ‘criminal‘ neighbourhoods of the country nd now i live in rotterdam south which is basically seen in the same way bc again, more poverty, more families with migration backgrounds etc. it’s like, you can never escape this negative image unless the whole bunch is gentrified or smth stupid and the poor are pushed to live elsewhere again. and just the whole thing of being at home, being at school, being at work, it’s such a trip bc university is so fucking different to me nd u see all these people there who are quite confident in getting good jobs nd u have business students with rich parents who are already some stupid fucking greenwashing entrepreneur aiming to become a CEO, nd even though ppl at my study w all these artsy ppl, they are generally not upper class, most still seem to be so used to the safety of being middle class and make these huge statements about poverty not really being a thing here.

nd then the whole stress nd anxiety tht my parents passed onto me, partially bc of their trauma nd them being fed up w my ‘laziness’ (executive dysfunction nd burnout lol), partially bc they believe strongly in this workers’ ethic thats strongly in line with capitalism (even if my mom used to be part of a socialist party nd still adheres to many of those ideas) but also with this calvinistic and Rotterdam ( / Rijnmond area) ideology that you need to work hard for the entirety of your life in order to be a decent person, so not so much for an economic payoff or ‘success‘; you just have to work hard. my parents always told me ‘you can rest when you’re dead‘ every single time i mentioned or even implied i was a bit tired and it was frustrating to hear. this mentality is what lead to my dad practically getting two strokes, and to my mom overworking herself nd being taken away by an ambulance on my birthday party, it’s the whole fucking reason i do not like the prospect of work bc it is just so associated w something awful you need to get done and that you need to exhaust yourself on it until you hopefully get pension money, if the govt hopefully doesnt raise the pension age even further than 67. and then you see ppl in uni talk abt fun future “careers” like what the fuck are you talking about? how are you gonna get a job in the arts and culture field in this pandemic? im already happy if im able to find a job and dont have to quit due to disability or a chronic illness that runs in both sides of my family. im sorry im being so negative but im stressed about jobs and i think i went on a tangent today all bc i saw one post abt being scared of PE classes nd my mind went to bad places. this is ok to rb or reply to btw, as long as youre a mutual

[justastraightupmess]

💘 p e r i s h.

where they first met and how

touma dropped his fkin burger and levi laughed his ass off at how distraught he seemed. then touma was like “doki doki” but in an art way and wanted him to be his muse, to which levi obviously said yes ://

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

Hmmmm, for levi it was a gradual thing. he’s fairly quick to catch feels, but the just rlly started getting more and more serious. it started off with, oh hes cute, then i wanna smooch his face, then i wanna date & fuck him.toUMA is still all. fkin touma i guess so ://// levi would like to know exACTLY how he feels for him immediately pls. 

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

Levi. definitely.

where their first date was and what it was like

Touma probably took Levi to some art exhibition and it was boring as shit for Levi but he was just happy to be there, Touma felt bad though and tries to pick better places in the future. 

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

lmao. Levi confessed his feelings bc he was acting like a jealous asshole and ruined Touma’s date so does that count??

who proposes first

I mean. It’d have to be Touma bc Levi refuses to be the one to propose he wants to be proposed to, only he’s dropping not at all subtle hints for like 6 months so. 

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

loooooool. hidden. very much hidden. 

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

It’d probably be more on the private side of things. I feel like either Touma would try to make it a lil romantic, nothing like massive, but just some cute meaningful things, maybe over dinner. Or alternatively he fucks up royally/chickens out too much, and like Levi finds the fucking ring in his sock draw and comes out crying like “tf is this??? are you-- omg yesyesyesyeyes” and touma’s like “gfdi i didn’t even propose yet levi u cant say yes yet jfc my life is a mess”

if they adopt any pets together

Levi loves pets !!!! he loves animals !!! he’d want a pet. except touma would want a snake and levi refuses to be anywhere near it while he feeds it ://

who’s more dominant

ahhhhh i mean, i feel like Levi is definitely capable of being more dominant, but as it stands at least he sides a little more on the submissive, or at least like just a bit of a brat rather than dominant side of things. levi loooooves it when touma sudden;y gets a little dominant like hes wEAk for that. But i think later on when Levi tops bc its gonna happen at some point his more dominant side will come out. Anyway they’re both switches so I guess it depends ??

where their first kiss was and what it was like

that one time on the couch when levi just said he wanted to rest on touma but then it turned into cuddling and then oops he kissed him then oops it turned into more :///

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

levi would adamantly encourage this behavior, but he’d have to force it on touma. probably just small things around the house tho definitely not something they’d wear in public or anything. 

how into pda they are

well -- levi is super into it but he is taking it very very slow for touma 

who holds the umbrella when it rains

either or ?? they dont have a big height difference so it doesnt matter

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

at home bc touma has no money and never leaves his fkin house 

who’s more protective

probably neither rlly?? but maybe levi

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

mmmm it probably won’t take long lmao. levi is ready to go whenever touma is 

if they argue about anything

I’m actually surprised they don’t argue more often bc levi is a shit, but touma is such a pushover he lets him get away with too much. I think down the track they’ll definitely run into some issues abt levi feeling neglected and also pda stuff tho

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

it’s pretty even. they both leave a lot off hickeys in a lot of places, but levi also likes to leave some scratches from time to time

who steals whose clothes and how often

LOL LEVI WOULD NOT STEAL ANYTHING FROM HIS WARDROBE SOZ TOUMA BUT NO. and touma doesnt care abt that stuff so he wouldn’t either

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

near constantly and it’s mostly just levi lining to touma for dear life. levi is on him all the damn time. any kind of cuddle he can get tbh.

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

that doesnt exist to levi :// maybe just ?? chilling at home ?? watching smth ?? cuddling ??

how long they stay mad at each other

touma is a pushover so not long. levi can hold a fkin grudge and will until touma apologizes then he’s over it, so however long that takes, but also hes petty so he’d bring it up again.

if they ever have any children together

pls never let either of them have a child together pls they are not ready. maybe when they’re older but i doubt it

if they have any special pet names for each other

uhhhhh minou, mon amour, tou, lev, senpai-kohai 

if they ever split up and / or get back together

yIKEs. big potential for this but i fkin hope not. they’re are a lot of things that could go wrong

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

clean, levi doesn’t like a mess. he had to designate a special space for touma to paint bc he cant deal with all that mess

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

sad and lonely probably bc levi was away from home and touma is a shut in. 

what their names are in each other’s phones

touma would literally just have “levi” with nothing extra or emojis and levi would have “touma” with one thousand emojis

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

they probably don’t have anything like that tbh

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

touma falls asleep first and levi wakes up first 

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

they switch

who hogs the bathroom

fucking levi ofc

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

touma for sure if he thinks levi is going near that spider he has another thing coming 

where they first met and how

at school and they didn’t rlly like each other at first :/

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

they didn’t have a fkin flirting phase they had a friends phase then everett caught feels and now they’re friends that fuck. feelings from luke are just starting to get involved but they’ve got a while to go

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

ev fell first like the dumbass he is

where their first date was and what it was like

luke tried to take him to a movie and then dinner all traditional and romantic but its dumb and they both hate it

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

i guess luke “officially” asks him out. probably just being dumb and all shy abt it tho

who proposes first

luke. probably has to a million times bc ev is all fuk the man and stuff

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

a secret bc ev can’t and luke rlly doesnt want it getting out right away

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

it’s only probably rlly dumb, like they’re just sitting on the couch watching tv, ev has half a soft pretzel shoved in his mouth and luke just looks over like “will you just fkin marry me you idiot ??”

if they adopt any pets together

probably at some point i feel. maybe a dog or a cat. and then ofc ev is like “we dont need to have kids we have the cat/dog” and luke is like “no”

who’s more dominant

HA. Luke easily 

where their first kiss was and what it was like

on the couch, everett teasing him followed by luke losing his shit right after 

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

god no. everett would straight up refuse and i highly doubt luke would want any of that anyway

how into pda they are

not very ?? i doubt they’d be much different to how they are now anyway?? 

who holds the umbrella when it rains

luke bc he’s taller and also bc hes a big strong man obvi

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

i doubt they have one since someone refuses to go on dates :////

who’s more protective

they’re actually both pretty damn protective tbh, but definitely luke bc he borders on/is super possessive lmao 

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

...........well if u count blow jobs it didn’t take long at aLL but uh. actual sex will take a while bc ev is a virgin and luke is a little scared to go that gay :/

if they argue about anything

HA. IF. good joke. they argue about everything, literally everything. 

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

I think they both would leave their fair share of marks tbh

who steals whose clothes and how often

Eeeeevvvvvvvv all the time. half bc hes just trying to be a brat and educe luke :/

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

at first probably just spooning until they get a little more comfortable with each other and then face to face too 

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

does fighting count?

how long they stay mad at each other

oh boi. they can both stay mad for aaaaaagggeeessssss. it probably just depends on whether luke is willing to give in first bc as soon as he mellows ev does too

if they ever have any children together

B|  well. they’re at a bit of an impasse rn so we’ll see lmao

if they have any special pet names for each other

maybe all of their countless insults?? also ev and lu/lulu

if they ever split up and / or get back together

idk. i don’t think they’d split up unless they meant it for reals. they’ll fight but they’d both stick it out and try to fix it unless it was something that rlly couldn’t be fixed. so if they split up it’d probably be for good. or at least for a few years or smth ??

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

probably clean bc luke makes a good househusband and cleans up when he’s bothered 

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

just happy. luke would be happy to be chilled and relaxed and with ev and not with his parents lmao 

what their names are in each other’s phones

it’s probably “dumbass moron” and “giant prick” 

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

yeah no theres no way they do that shit

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

they probably sleep at the same ish time and ev wakes up first

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

usually luke is the big spoon but i also love the idea of everett just wrapping himself around luke sometimes too

who hogs the bathroom

ev more than luke, luke doesnt rlly give a shit abt his looks he’s in and out done. 

who kills the spiders / takes them outside 

luke hates them but he’ll catch them and put them out, cringing the whole time

where they first met and how

andrew “saved” daiki from being hit on and it was all downhill from there

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

uhhhh. well i guess from daiki the two were interchangeable??? andy caught feelings pretty quickly but he just doesn’t realize what they are

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

i guess daiki did in his weird daiki way

where their first date was and what it was like

what fkin date all daiki does is get frisky :///

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

daiki does except he does it through trying to fuck him all the time

who proposes first

daiki would it honestly wouldn’t even cross andy’s mind and then he’d be shooketh

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

they wouldn’t hide it but i dont think they’d broadcast it to the world either 

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

probably mid-fuck or smth honestly daiki is trash. he probably just says “i wanna fuck u for the rest of my life bunny~

if they adopt any pets together

well there’s mottle, andy very very very slowly warms up to her but thats abt it

who’s more dominant

oh andy obviously ://///

where their first kiss was and what it was like

the day they fkin met bc daiki is trash

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

i could see daiki ironically buying smth rlly dumb for them both to wear

how into pda they are

if by pda u mean daiki trying to fuck him in public -- very 

who holds the umbrella when it rains

Andrew brought it with them but Daiki holds it

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

any place they go camping 

who’s more protective

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiki

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

B| not very fkin long jesus

if they argue about anything

abt daiki being possessive and violent, and also eventually abt him not treating andy like a person and treating him like a fleshlight constantly 

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

Daiki, bc hes a possessive fuck

who steals whose clothes and how often

Uhhh andy does sometimes?? not often. just bc it was cold and his hoodie was there so :/ he ends up getting fucked in it tho so

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

Both, except it doesn’t stay as cuddling for long bc daiki is trash

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

nonsexual activity ?? don’t know her 

how long they stay mad at each other

andy is weak, so most of the time not long, unless it’s something serious then he’ll hold his ground. 

if they ever have any children together

please dear god don’t let daiki procreate ever no

if they have any special pet names for each other

bunny. 

if they ever split up and / or get back together

it’s possible. if daiki doesn’t change his act and stop being conSTANTLY sexual and if he doesn’t stop his life of crime. 

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

Clean bc andy is organized and clean

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

shit bc daiki only gives sexual presents and andy actually puts thought into his gifts

what their names are in each other’s phones

“bunny” and “daiki” bc andy is simple

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

their couple tradition is making andy cry

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

andy falls asleep first and wakes up first 

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

andy is the little spoon daiki big spoon

who hogs the bathroom

neither rlly ??

who kills the spiders / takes them outside 

daiki. 

where they first met and how

adonis was hired for a job and it went horribly 

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

i dont think they rlly flirted so much as it’d just be friendship and then caught feels

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

it was probably adonis tbh, after he got passed his initial anger he realized mitsuki was a good person and got a big ass puppy crush on him 

where their first date was and what it was like

playing video games and mitsuki realizing just how terrible adonis is at them, they try like so many different types to see if he’ll be better at them but he is not

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

it probably wasn’t anything special?? just confessing and then asking naturally through that??

who proposes first

idk but i kinda like the idea of adonis doing it

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

they wouldn’t hide it tbh they’d jsut walk around holding hands or smth and ppl would know ??

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

nothing big, but probably a little cheesy. adonis says smth like “will you be my romantic interest forever? without u there’s nothing to drive me towards my character development” or some shit idk. but it’s cute and hes laughing as he says it and all blushy and adorable okay

if they adopt any pets together

well they’ll have that devil dog so i guess :/

who’s more dominant

somehow mitsuki is :/ but maybe one day adonis will be able to

where their first kiss was and what it was like

probably terrible and messy and they hit each other’s faces or smth

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

ohhhh adonis would love that. give him the matching mugs 

how into pda they are

not super, adonis just wants to hold his hand. but also apparently super in pdsexual intercourse

who holds the umbrella when it rains

either or??

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

finishing mitsuki’s manuscripts 

who’s more protective

hmmmm it’s probably equal?? not super protective or anything but they’d stand up for each other when they needed to 

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

apparently not long rip

if they argue about anything

they argue abt mitsuki being gross

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

adonis leaves a lot of scratches 

who steals whose clothes and how often

adonis rlly likes wearing mitsuki’s clothes bc they smell like him and its nice

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

probably facing each other and being super mushy and gross and pure

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

games. even tho adonis sucks

how long they stay mad at each other

not long at all

if they ever have any children together

i doubt it, neither seem that interested in having kids

if they have any special pet names for each other

Suki and Adonny

if they ever split up and / or get back together

Doubt it. They dont rlly fight or anything so??

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

Not super messy but not super clean either

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

well -- santa ended up riding his reindeer 

what their names are in each other’s phones

“Adonyais” and “Mitsuki

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

every year they buy a new game for adonis to play bc it literally takes him a year to beat the game sometimes that snot even enough

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

adonis is first for both, being awake at night time without sun is actually pretty draining for him

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

they swap

who hogs the bathroom

adonis but not a lot

who kills the spiders / takes them outside 

mitsuki

[misterbitches]

i like your optimism! i need more of that. it’s funny cos idk if u watched ITSAY but i was like wow ppl r panicked for no reaosn no one is gonna die but if there’s a chance of fucking the cool satire story up im like cshaking in fear!

i think that the noises are a funny thing bc while i am distracted partially bc of my background, the show is good enough for us to like accept it. for me like. the gulping thing is nitpick-y from a technical standpoint but they wouldnt necessarily have to take it out. and if it works for some people, it works! i  may not like it but it is the choice they made (UNLIKE ALL THE FUCKING EDITING MISTAKES OF THE VISUALS thats like a film school 101 u problem SIR idk who is editing it can u tell im mad1!!!)

oh also i think the sound editing is actually fine i am sooooo tickled actually bc sound in thai dramas has gotten so much better and i was soooo surprised at how crisp and clean it sounded? like i mentioned with the visuals as well. but i am not a sound editor so i can only go off of my brain. it could be done soooooo badly LMAO. the noise thing is def not a make or break and thats rly good bc there’s things that will take you away from a work immediately bc theres nothing else to justify whats pissing u off or nagging at you to stick around. thank god this show is telling us to enjooooy the ride. 

 IA wwww youuuuuuuuuuuuu still enjoyin it. i mean u saw how mad i got at that cut right like. if it were anything else i would have fucking quit. i was that appalled LMAOOOO but i was like ILL DO IT BUT JUST COS UR FUN AND FUNNY 

i agreeee im so confused ppl r saying he’s polarizing but im like, why?? so far we see him as a really sad young kid. that scene with tiffy was really good! (i also dont say this often in this genre!!!) i cant imagine not like...idk. i felt like hes so ridiculous but ur like. holy fuck man. ur lonely as fuck. if that were me i may not have made it through that night, you know? i like your idea btw!!!! i mean in gen but talso that’s a good point about him needing it to suceed for money. in fact that makees sooooo much more sense bc he clearly doesnt like thailand and wants to do cooking in FR and its like.........he couldnt possibly think sib would make that move for him, right? good point!

and yea  im always intersted to see how far ppl push it and then seeing it and what they could have done or saying its cowardice. parasite is a really good example of the symbiotic (this is my new fav word and idek if im readin git right) rship with like art and capitalism. and idek if id say BL would be “art” but in the broad sense of the word it would be i guess? idk im pretentious

thats awesome! i love it! we need more of you!!! no really bc a lot of polsci ppl are not. ummmmmmmm this is stupid but do u watch hasan piker? he was a poli sci student idk if u know him if u dont hes a popular leftist / bredtuber but pretty radical and hes evolved. interesting dude. ur background reminds me of him :) ive been following him for so long and i just went with my feeling and hes messed up but he has changed a lot too and i feel like i went on the journey with him. so clearly we know people have the intense capacity to change. they have to be open and to want it!! i honestly feel like leftist when not being awful which we are it’s like the most open minded you can be. its’ so freeing and fun when we dont get bogged down by tankies or other shit or annoyances. idk. i think that’s so cool. and i realize u dont care if i think thats cool and im probably veyr old compared to you.

thanks soooo much for replying it makeks me feel betetr. idk if you are in undergrad but if you are i hoep you can get to school from HOME iand if ur american and u cant i am so sorry our country sucks. fummmmmand that you and yours are doing okay and if you dont have the vaxx i hope you can soon. also dude oihugahijok[jipahgjokp ugh man i wish i could follow ppl on a fuckin side account the fuckin memes the fuckin left memes on ur page eveyrhting WE LOVE TO LAUGH bc when ur Third Eye is open u need levity 4 the pain (oh my fucking god im joking and also holy shit lmao) ur fuuuun sry for being patronizign and also talking a lot/ :)

——————

beyodn this it’s a wall of bullshit and ould be totally not pertinent to you so dont even bother lmaoooooo

 ive been thinking a lot about like societal implications and work cos there was some dumb book drama on twitter. escapism has such good merits but i feel like....how do i say this. we want to expect things to come in like two values; meaning and no meaning. so for escapism people equate that with mindlessness but, no, it’s a creation of a world that acknowledges the flaws of everyone and creates this world that takes you to a place where it still exists. there is no utopia. 

the other thing is there’s like..ok first of all lmao i tried to like make a video on something and i just got burned out. i stopped and i almost started to cry bc i was just sooooo tired of thinking. afte rbeing online for a long time i needed to get the fuck off for HOUUUUURS and not every post i/we make is gonna be some big statement. i havent even really talked abt any of the shootings that have happened and ive read literally one article on it. and that’s things that are soooo seirous and that i care about but it’s like yea im not thinking we need to be so sad all the time or whatever. god im losing steam right now im so sorry.

my point abt that is like i think ppl think that ur ALWAYS on ur oh boooo bla bla ethics grind. when we know that we can’t be! and there are very unfun people aoon ~all sides~ like just awful leftists and also not fun and cant laugh. which sucks. life is hilarious. the more i see something and want to talk about it, the more i lean in. then when i dont want to, i get out. i recomppose. i feel like people think im operating on some 24/7 agenda like, no, because that could kill me? and when i get to engage with a work as an artist or with my stupid thoughts im like oh man i gotta get it all out. 

and that’s it. no one is telling ppl (im not saying that ur saying this btw!!) they cant turn their brain off or not be one way or another. but it’s funny that when these ideas are introduced there’s an equation of like......the work with the individual who likes it. totally having their blinders on. i kept seeing people say “they want everyhing to be perfect and they dont know that ppl are complicated” and this was in relation to tharntype but people say it all the time. it’s like are you that fucking stupid that you dont understand how the human brain works? are we fucking robots? i swear i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them. and the fucking thing is this is what i cant stand. this is the motherfucking kicker.

neoliberalism individualism WHATEVER im an IDIOT and i am TIRED but all those things have made it SOOOOOOOOOO easy for us to like....be so fuckign vague. be okay with VAGUE sources and anecdotal evidence. be ok with things out of context. like the plethora of comments about seeing “POC” in these shows which is honestly just fucking inaccurate and is affecting the reading of the show and they talk about good progress and “progressive” things and not being problematic but they cannot name a single motherfucking thing. it’s not that theyre not smart it’s just that all ppl do is dip their toes in. so when i see theat and i feel like speaking and if it’s annoying enough (or i just want to engage in gen!) im just lie........we’re meeting from two totally diff purposes.

god to round out this fuckin bullshit i bet a convo between u and i would be a lot more fucking fun and funny and lighthearted and not serious at all then it would be with the user who foudn out what problematic means on twitter like 4 yrs ago but doesnt know fucking anything about like actual people in thailand for exxample like actually gay artists or filmmakers or wonen u know (oh heres another thing: asking for women in bl? why. seriously....and i knoooooowwwww our beliefs are diff but im just ilke ok here’s an alternate um...opinion.)

mate i am so sorry idk what the fuck i am saying i am drinking ive been so anxious. i looooove head empty. i am always head empty. adhd IS head empty. and then it’s get everything out at once. theres SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to enjoy both when there’s probelms and without and even a way to enjoy thinking critically abt something too when u want to! it’s this lie that we cant be functioning human beings with actual nuanced thoguht that goes beyond apologizing for dumb shit or just...not fucking demanding goddamn ANYTHING. tahts’ another thing like goddamn i never knew ppl were so pasive?????/ maybe it cos im black but im like lmao um guys ok i guess? if i feel uncomfortable abt sth (nubsib being invasive!!!) im gonna say it. and even then we know why it’s sort of acceptable in this context that nubsib is LITERALLY fucking weird and what he’s doing is not okay. in the trop and the world they set up it technically is but shit we need to come up with something new then for this outcome. there’s a way to get there. 

wuickly i will reiagine a scene

sib: hello gene: hi sib: my closet sprung a leak bla bla (begs to move in)

all that could be done without us being privy to some sort of truth (i have read spoilers so idk but anyways))  so it feels less weird and it’ssomething we are more inclined to forgive. ok that fib. but the kissing part was actually really not great if you put your head to the fucking grindstone. it’s a contradiction of what they wrote. ironically with every second they drag themselves (when they dont mean to_ and thats not bad to point out. in fact it’s funny bc the show is good right but it’s also like lol. no. ethical. consumption. u know. so we just discuss it when we feel its pertinent!!!! or we want to!!!!!!! but if we were gonna specifically talk about his actions then fuck yea ppl gotta USE THEIR BRAAAAINSSSSS. it’s always so fucking VAGUE like oh this is happening and heres how it makes ME feel instead of the braoder implications or fuck even from a fucking artistic perspective. here is a motherfucking truth: if hyou’re going to take money and energy from the world you could fucking TRY to make something that we want in our eyeballs holy fucking shit and a lot of these programs fucking FAAAAIL EVEN THE WAY PPL JUDGE THE ACTING? oh my god i am so sorry holy shit ive just had so many thoughts and so feewwwww peopl esort of understand where i am coming from. 

when where ur eyes linger was airing i wrote soooo much abt a class and race analysis both as a black woman and then what i know about korea. pointing out what i liked and going on my feeling. if im unsure of something, i try to look it up and see how my worldview affects it but im soooo tired of cultural relativism too. an “oh it’s different over there” as human beings we have fucking thumbs okay it is distinct to us so there is obviously a base fucking moral code and idea of freedom that eveyrone in the world has—it has to be. why are you so incapable of forming decisions bc of being unsure when information is readily available to you? so in the end where does the convo lead?

another good ex omg i was so happy. someone was tlaking about the husband/wife thing and i responded and we all got along and idk it was so cool to see people go “wow ok im thinking a lot” bc i get that from others and idk :(  nnot everything is serious but i sooooooo badly just want people to stop relying on the same things and calling it progress. i cant take much more of the shallowness. and thats probably bc so many ppl hav eblocked me for my ideas ;-; ok im not like widly unpopular i swear but i be tryna rb someone and im like jesus do i even know you?  conveniently from ppl who [redacted]

this is why ppl need to know me irl like i am the same person irl but i talk way less bc im going “erm uh ah hm um” and i dont remember then i get tired. ike after 2m iw ill just stop talking. and also if im hungry u cannot get a word out of me. and also if im tired and need to be alone. i type so much fucking more than i talk esp during  apndemic. most ppl would call me withholding if they didnt know me from the itnernet LMAO. also i got my second wind halfway through this post my adrenaline was like remember those stimulants u took earlier bc u have adhd well we’re back 

Hi! Thank you so much. Lately I've been feeling extra unintelligible like an alien communicating with others. Does wonders for my selfie steam!

Yessss! You know what I mean! It's like a fine line between getting it right. Setting up some solid foundations but can they follow through? And critically what can we expect? Many times, it's even better if a work has flaws so their next time could be better. And we just talk abt what could have been done.

I am the same as you! Do you have thoughts on Aey?

I tend to exist in my bubble so thanks for hearing me out! I feel like how i choose to live my life and what i believe in isnt as conventional yet but idk. I get really bummed sometimes cos im like idk talking too much but not too many ppl talk about this stuff like this and it kills me sometimes cos ive heard refuse to read or engage critically and i dont really get it. I mean I do but the thing is that analysis has always been huge!??? I dont understand why politics and society would constantly stay on the periphery. I cant understand why we wouldnt talk about society and capitalism in a show that, intentional or no, rests on constant poking!

I wont stop! And i dont want to sound silly. I just really need to see more radical ppl in the soace. Everyone join so we can bang our revolution drums together as we while about BL--the ULTIMATE society dealbreaker!

@flootweed

[guromantlc]

— answer these questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better!

tagged by: @mistwclkers/ @reaperxfsin tagging:  nobody because im tired yall guild wars has consumed my life. steal it from me bls

nicknames: zave, xavior, cinder, luci

zodiac: aires

height: 5′7 last time i checked apparently thats what counts as tall on tumblr

time: 3:15 pm almost time for bed

favourite band / artist: man dont make me choose. nicole dollenganger, passion pit, EDEN, grandson and MISSIO are all good but so is twenty one pilots no do not @ me

song stuck in my head: it changes and is usally what i want to listen to or what the last thing i listened to was. right now? its flippin between despicable by grandson and in the land by nicole dollenganger

last movie i saw: im pretty sure it was leatherface with @chalnsawed but dont quote me my memory is terrible

last thing i googled: “calculator” (i needed a calculator for a gw2 quest)

other blogs: uhhh @lvcfier is my art blog, i have very few active muses on tumblr anymore but they areeee @eclra (a shapeshifter oc for the keisha’ra series), @sunirse (a SOFT BABY BOY oc for @gracelessrpg..... but no one ever comes online so hes p much indie at this point) annnd @moonliiqht (an au hal who is a vampire and uses jd as his faceclaim. do not @ me.)

do i get asks: sometimes, if im active and talking to my friends.

why did i choose this username: literally i was just trying to find hal a username that would fit him that wasnt awfully edgy

following: 298

average amount of sleep: however long i can stay in the cozy, warm refuge of my blankets before my body forces me to eat or take a piss

what i’m wearing: yall aint ready for this. four layers on top (a hoodie, a robe/kigu, and two shirts) a pair of sweatpants and some socks i dont have a heater and its cold yall

dream job: artist? making money off commissions n such.

dream trip: goin camping BUT WITH ALL MY FRIENDS and we all have a good time and go swimming in the creek and eat some good food, i get up the earliest and start the fire so everyone can wake up and immediately come over and get warm, i take everyone to my favorite agate-digging spot and we all just. have a great time. yeah.

favourite food: .warm garlic bread. also. hot cheetos.

play any instruments: no papa

eye colour: brown

hair colour: dark, almost black, but brown

languages you speak: english im a basic bitch. also i guess @eclra‘s language but its made up with my only sources being an incomplete guide and dictonary so it doesnt count

most iconic song: what does this even mean . here, take this one.

random fact: im a furry and i draw pretty ok dogs and i live with my parents in oregon and we have too many cats and i love everything that exists except maybe fleas bc im so itchy all the time and im always looking for more friends because ive been diagnosed with lonely bastard disease

describe yourself as aesthetic things: wings, clouds, blood in the snow, a bare tree against a white sky. void. fangs. a pine-covered mountainside. a river flowing through a steep valley. rotting animals. there are a lot of things i like to think of myself as at different points within my life, a year, a month, a day.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!