#i care about this game so fucking much that i would love to know if i fucked this up in any way

[ventismacchiato]

i was thinking about swy and my brain just collapsed because it kept overflowing with headcanons. anyways heres the ones i compiled or at the very least remember

yn is the type of idol with those compilation videos like 'yn tripping over air for 5 minutes straight'

windblume and delusion has watched those compilation of videos that are like "*insert member* being wifey material" just to laugh maniacally at every moment so that person gets embarassed (like in a good way)

whenever its scaras birthday most of the others just gift him vapes (i lowkey forget what he was smoking so mb)

↑ adding on to that but i feel like yn would get them a different gift like earlier swy yn defo gives him the most useless gifts on planet earth (if they even decide to)

delusion fans still have this argument on whether childe is hot or ugly (its still ongoing just way less popular with scarayn being trending)

delusion and windblume hang out three times a week (or the maximum they can) every night and scara and yn are just sitting on the edge glaring at each other back in the earlier days of them being an idol

d&w (shortcut for delusion and windblume cause im NOT typing allot) have game nights. the games range from stardew valley to the most horrifying thing you can imagine

whenever yn is gifted a stuffed toy/plushie by a fan scara throws it out because hes paranoid (but tbh its actually really common when youre an idol) that theres a camera. counts for both earlier and later swy like i genuinely believe that he just does nice things most of the time behind their back

whenever you see a fischl stan theres an 85% cahnce they have said 'she was definitely a theatre kid' at least once in their lifetime

you know those videos where idols will wake up from their nap/sleep and everyones looking kind of messy and that one has perfect hair. thats lumine.

theres an ongoing joke that venti should be in jail for underage drinking just because hes considered short by windblume fans

omg i love ur headcanons!

i think scarayn wud have a stupid tradition (they’d never admit it) when they were rivals of getting each other stupid gifts and when they get tgt they still do it (scara wud spoil yn obviously but add a stupid gag gift)

the childe argument omg my poor baby HAHA i’d defend his ass that man is BEAUTIFUL

awe the hanging out 😢 i hc their dorms are near eachother so they see eo often, like lunch in between training and having meals tgt and scarayn wud just sit in their own corners and ignore eo

awe the plushie!! he wud so do that 😭 subtly looking out for yn cus he can’t hide he cares to some level

ok lemme add some of my own!

scara dropping the cap to a bottle of wine in a live and pretending he can’t find it so he has to drink the whole bottle and everyone tweeting about how bad his acting is. and then kazuha walks in and picks it up and scara swipes it out of his hands

when scara is knocked out and tired he doesn’t give a fuck who gets in bed with him. so maybe there’s a few videos of behind the scenes where aether or childe will just crawl into his bed and scara doesn’t say anything but he’ll shift over

i feel like since idols go live maybe they’d livestream themselves playing games with fans, like yk how taehyung played with fans and they all let him win and waited for him but then when nayeon played among us they killed her immediately (i think i’m rmbring this right) so whenever scara plays all his fans r letting him win and he eats them all up but then when childe plays they all kill him instantly

chiscara reacting to fanart:

scara: who is that, cus i know that ain’t me. why do you guys keep drawing me as the bottom? i would never let this ginger top me in a million years, have you seen him? he’s pathetic. god. if anything i’d be telling him what to do from the bottom—

childe: alright not too much on me 😓

did u guys see that clip of gummy (?) singing seven days a week as if she’s singing in a church choir 😭 i hc seven is scaras solo song so imagine he’s mcing a show and the debut idol who sang his song rlly badly in a cover comes up and he can’t help but call them out for it

based on that one keeho video i think if childe ran into fans he’d take photos with them but also ask them to take his insta pics for him 😭

i feel like childe wud love to troll paparazzi, aether wud wear long wings and walk around with child and ppl wud think he’s with some girl

[joicecubes]

HEY!!!!! HEY YOU!! (sits you down to listen to me yap about my queer headcanons for gravity falls characters)

mabel - okay lets get her out of the way. this girl is queer as fuck. she may not realize it yet, but in her teenage years i know she’s experimented with every single label and microlabel in existence. she’d try out hundreds of neopronouns. she realizes her obsession with boys as a kid was a result of comphet. i don’t have a specific label for her because i think in the end she’d discover she can’t make herself identify with any one label. because she’s just mabel! unlabeled and proud.

dipper - do i even have to say it… he’s trans. i think every queer person in this fandom headcanons him to be trans. moving on

stanley - he’s kinda unlabeled too, but for a reason opposite to mabel’s. ladies, gentlemen, doesn’t matter to him! i think its fair to assume he grew up believing that being gay was wrong, it was the 60s and 70s and his dad’s a piece of shit, but as he traveled the country and met so many different people and then witnessed the times changing around him… he’d just. grow into his attraction for men. like, yeah i like men? so what? he doesn’t care for labels. “bisexual, mabel? pansexual? quit making up words!”

(more starting with stanford under the cut this is gonna be sorta long)

stanford - hehehheee okay this is my favorite. i’ve thought about his sexuality a lot. he’s definitely gay to me, and i don’t have much reasoning for that other than like… my heart is telling me that’s the right answer. but he’s also definitely on the aroace spectrum. i personally think he’s demi or grayromantic, he feels romantic attraction VERY rarely and its part of the reason why he felt so helpless in the dating department as a teenager, and also why as an adult later on he tells fiddleford he doesn’t understand romance. he’s hardly ever experienced it! and he wouldn’t really KNOW he identifies with those labels until he’s back in his dimension and mabel is in her obsessed-with-queer-microlabels phase. he hears mabel say “demiromantic” and, being the nerd he is, immediately wants to know what this new word means and why he’s never heard of it before. so mabel rolls a big-ass whiteboard in and starts Mabel’s Guide to the Aromantic Spectrum! ford learns something about himself that day.

fiddleford - HE’S GAY. he’s gay. he’s so gay. i know he canonically has a wife but he literally leaves emma may to work on this mysterious project with his best and only MALE friend from college like… BE so fr. he made ford TWO christmas gifts and forgot to get anything for his wife!! i imagine his marriage to emma may was more of a way for him to deny his sexuality and live what he believes to be a “normal” life. and that obviously doesnt excuse the neglect to his family (because what the fuck fiddleford) but its how i personally make sense of his behavior.

bill cipher - bill transcends human comprehension of gender and sexuality. bill is just bill. but in human terms he’s a lover of all genders. as long as he can manipulate them, they’re fair game! (sorry ford)

wendy - okayyy yesss i know i used the comphet excuse once with mabel but i’m using it again god dammit. with the way wendy talks about her past boyfriends and how we see her be so vaguely invested in her relationship with robbie, it makes me think she’s either a lesbian or somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. she’s just not super interested! but she gives guys chances because why the hell not and is never super into any of it, eventually they break up, and she moves on with her life. i imagine sometime after high school is when she reflects on that and thinks… huh. was i ever attracted to men at all?

soos - saving the most anticlimactic for last… soos is straight to me. but he’s an ENTHUSIASTIC ally :)

thanks for reading i really like overthinking the theoretical queer identities of my favorite characters have a nice day (and let me know if you’re headcanons differ i would love to hear what people think!!)

[idontactuallyremember]

Squid Game- Thanos x Fem!reader

Day 3 on this island and you're withdrawing- bad. Thanos offers to help but only if he & Nam-Gyu get something in return. Only, they start bickering and Thanos decides to show everybody who's in charge.

Pairing: Fem!reader x Thanos

(Nam-Guy slightly involved but him and Thanos don't touch)

CW: mentions of withdrawal symptoms, unprotected sex, a lot of cursing, substance use, Nam-Gyu watches you and Thanos, use of the nickname "daddy"

Authors note: If you are only interested in the spicy parts & not the backstory; it starts at the pink paragraph!! This is longer than I wanted it to be but I love this lil story

NSFW BELOW THE CUT- MINORS DNI

You wake up sweating, even though you feel the cool air on your face. It's only your second (maybe third ?) day locked away with these strangers- strangers that would likely all be dead within a few more days time.

You would care, only if you could get something to take this edge off.

Your bones and joints hurt.

As you shift in a sitting position in your bed- you realize there still aren't any lights on. How much longer you would have to sleep is up in the air, as there is no clock or windows indicating what time it is.

You try to place what time it could be and you guess there's only an hour or two left of darkness.

You would go back to sleep. You would, only, your sheets and pillow are covered in sweat. Your back hurts and your hands are shaking. Your stomach turns over as you rub the sleep out of your eyes. The nausea is starting. Your legs are restless.

Your thoughts are eating away at you. If only you had just one pill, one hit... anything. You're obsessed with how badly you feel, it's all you can think about.

Only then, in the darkness, do you hear soft whispering.

It distracts you from your pain. You decide to eavesdrop.

"No, just one, greedy fuck..." A low voice says.

You close your eyes to focus better.

"I still need enough to last the next few days- Just until we get out of here with our money." The voice carries on, the person he is speaking to stays silent.

You decide to peak over the edge of your bed to see where the voices are coming from.

In the darkness, you can vaguely make out two men sitting on a bottom bunk.

The first one is Thanos. You only remember his name because it's so unusual. As is his appearance. The other man- you have no idea what his name is.

A lot of people tried recruiting you, introducing themselves to you. At first, you didn't mind. But the longer you go without a high, the more belligerent and annoyed you feel yourself becoming.

Although it was obvious, it didn't occur to you what the two boys were doing until you see them place something in their mouth.

Immediately, without thinking, you climb down your bunk and start over to them. You don't even think about what you're going to say- you only know you need to get high. And you'd do whatever you have to if it meant you could just feel a little less weak and nauseous.

They hear you before they see you- Thanos wildly looks around to see where the noise is coming from.

As you approach, you see Thanos scramble to hide what is in his hands.

The only thing your withdrawing brain can think to say is, "Hey..."

You would mentally smack yourself if you weren't so desperate right now.

"Hello, pretty." Thanos says. You see the other man open his mouth to speak but says nothing.

There's a moment of silence.

"I'm Nam-Gyu." The man finally decides to say.

"I'm Y/N." You say, even though you don't like the idea of anyone knowing your real name.

Thanos looks you up and down. He sees you shaking, itching your arms. He sees the pool of sweat around the collar of your shirt.

"You don't feel too good, huh?" He notices.

"No, not really." You say, weakly. You were hoping he offered something to you so you wouldn't have to ask.

"Sit down." He orders.

You do as you're told, even if you don't appreciate the bossy tone.

"You want one of these?" He asks, his hands holding the cross emerging from his hiding place. You didn't like the connotation behind his voice.

"Yes, if you can spare one. I'm withdrawing bad..." You say.

"Aww..." He says and grabs your hand, "you wanna feel better?"

"Yes, I do." Is all you say, his flirtatious tone does nothing but annoy you.

"Just give it to me, dude. Not in the fucking mood." You think to yourself.

"Well..." Thanos looks at Nam-Gyu. You sense they are having a silent conversation with their eyes. A conversation in a language you don't understand.

"I can give you one, if you really need it." He offers.

"Thank you." You say, expecting him to say more.

He pulls out the necklace under his shirt and opens the cross. Sitting there are multiple, colorful, small tablets.

"Here:" Thanos grabs a random one, "Take it."

You open your palm to him, waiting for him to hand it to you.

Only, he doesn't. He pops the pill in his mouth, instead.

"C'mere, fast." He directs. You're unsure of where this is going but, again, do as you're told anyway.

As you scoot closer to him, he grabs your face. In a second, he is kissing you. With his tongue, he passes the small tablet to you in your mouth. He kisses you for a few more moments.

As he pulls away, you chew the already dissolving pill and swallow.

"You'll feel better soon, okay?" He says, as if he didn't just force his tongue in your mouth, "it hits fast."

You don't have much to say. While you're grateful you will feel less sick today- the kiss left you stunned. It was unexpected. And maybe a tiny bit hot.

"Thanks." Is all you say and you get up to return to your bunk.

"No way, senorita, you stay here." Thanos says, grabbing you around the waist. He forces you back sitting in his bed.

Part of you already knows what direction this is heading. Part of you can't care- you're finally going to be high again for the first time in days.

"Show some gratitude, yeah? He just saved you from withdrawals." Nam-Gyu says, the first words he's uttered since introducing himself.

You decide to say nothing in response.

As the minutes go by, you wait for it to kick in. You're praying it does work fast- like Thanos promised.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Thanos asks you.

"I got in a lot of debt from my addictions. Gambling, drugs, drinking.." you say.

"Mmm, not good. You're too pretty to be doing those things." Thanos hums, absentmindedly.

You start to feel a little woozy. You notice your pain is slowly getting better, your mood lifting a little.

Somehow, by your body language, the two boys notice, too.

"You feel better already, see?" Nam-Gyu says. You nod in agreement.

As if waiting for the perfect moment- the moment you started feeling it, Thanos asks: "So what do I get in return for making you feel better?"

You were waiting for this.

"What do you want?" You ask.

You know his answer before he even tells you. The look in his eye, his shit-eating grin. You see what he wants.

"Well, I made you feel good. You're gonna make me feel good, too, right?" Thanos smiles.

You are silent for a minute. If you don't agree, you were scared he would do it anyway. Plus, with the drugs kicking in, you felt much more care-free, maybe even a little horny.

You thought Thanos was attractive but his personality wasn't exactly all he cracked it up to be.

They might be jackasses, but Thanos did at least help you- even if it was truthfully for his own benefit.

"Okay" you agree, "I'll make you feel good."

His smile only widens, "Good girl, I knew you wouldn't disappoint me." He scoots closer to you.

Thanos grabs your face to kiss you, again. You comply; letting him take dominance.

"I knew from the moment I saw you... I was waiting for you to come begging for a high." He whispers, between kisses.

He pauses for a moment to lay you down, your head falls in Nam-Gyu's lap, unexpectedly.

You look up at Nam-Gyu, then back at Thanos.

"He wants to watch us, okay? You can pretend he's not there." Thanos says, running a hand down your face.

You get a little embarrassed at the thought of someone watching you but it sort of turned you on.

You say nothing. You decide ignoring him might be the best course of action, even if it intimidated you.

With Thanos still on top of you, he kisses your face softly. He nibbles your neck and earlobes. Maybe it's the high, but it feels like fucking magic. You put your hands in his hair as he teases you, continuing to kiss you everywhere he can.

He puts his hands under your shirt and gropes at you, rubbing circles around your nipple over the thin fabric of your bra.

In the midst of the moment, you look up at Nam-Gyu, just above you, your head still laying in his lap. He paws at himself through his pants but doesn't say anything. He doesn't touch you.

Thanos sits you up for a moment, taking off your shirt and bra. The cold air makes your nipples hard and Thanos licks his lips before latching himself to one of them, sucking hard and swirling circles with his tongue.

You groan, quietly.

"This is what you've been hiding under these baggy clothes?" He asks, "So fucking sexy..."

You feel Nam-Gyu move nearer towards Thanos' side of the bed, you assume, to see you from his perspective.

Thanos doesn't even give him a glance. He pretends he isn't there at all. His attention is only on you.

He lays you back down, and messes with the waistband of your pants. A shiver runs through you.

Thanos takes off his shirt in one quick motion as he grinds against you- pulling it over his head. It made your knees weak to see him shirtless- his necklace swaying back and forth just above your head. Your eyes are all over him.

"Don't look at me like that, not yet." He warns.

"Like what?" You ask, a cheeky smile peaking through your attempted deadpanned gaze.

"Like you're begging for it..." He kisses your stomach, "be patient..."

Nam-Gyu silently watches, listens to your conversation. He hungrily paws at himself- his hips bucking in anticipation. It makes you wary to say much but as the minutes pass, the relief that you're not withdrawing anymore is overwhelming. You were scared you'd do anything Thanos asks, out of appreciation.

"Get on top of me." He orders.

Before you straddle him, already shirtless, he hums, "Let's take these off, too, okay?"

He gently slides off your pants, but when he sees a pair of cute, lacy panties, he pauses.

"Fuck..." He stares at the intricate, purple lace, "You're a fucking dream to me."

Before you get on top of him as requested, he quickly removes his sweats & boxers, letting you see everything.

Once on top of him, he groans as you rub against him. You lean down to kiss Thanos, your ass in the air.

Nam-Gyu swallows thickly; he has a perfect view of you here. His hands fumble with his waistband as he slowly begins to properly touch himself.

Thanos' hands are all over you. In your hair, scratching your back, gently squeezing your throat, down your hips as you grind against him. You kiss his neck, his chest.

"You wanna ride me, Princess?" He asks.

You nod and he quickly reaches down and slides your panties to the side.

You make quick work of lowering yourself down perfectly, letting only the tip graze against your wetness.

"Do you feel how much I need you?" You ask.

"Fuck... yes... yes, I do." He manages.

Only when you let him enter you completely do you get your first real moan from him.

He groans, loud and then, "C'mere." He grabs your throat, "you're so fucking tight for me... treating me so good.." His hips thrust into you as you ride up and down slowly.

He stops, suddenly, reaching for the cross around his neck. Still inside you, he opens it, places a red pill on his tongue and then says to you, "Open..."

He pops another pill in your mouth. Nam-Gyu's face goes pale.

"Dude, are you fucking serious?" He asks.

"What?" Thanos asks, looking at you slowly ride him, smiling and nodding as you chew and swallow.

"You're gonna give her another one just because she let you fuck? You're so fucking easy, man. You're a fucking pushover. I asked for another one and you said yo-" Nam-Gyu starts but is interrupted.

"I said 'no' because last time I fucking checked these belong to me. I decide who to give them too. How many I give. How many I take. That's up to me. I'm no pushover- you think you deserve more than what you do. That's not my fucking problem, man. I don't have to give you fucking ANY, you realize that? I don't owe you. I protect you in here- you owe me. If you sucked my dick maybe I'd give you a few extra, too. Everyone can see who's in charge here. Respect that or go somewhere else..." Thanos says, then- directed to you, "Tell me who's in charge, baby?"

"You're in charge" You say, playing his game.

"Who's the boss, princess? Tell me."

"You are"

"What's my fucking name?" He thrusts inside you, hard, gripping your hair.

"Thanos, fuck!" You moan out in response.

Nam-Gyu sucks his teeth but says nothing more.

"I wanna be on top, now." Thanos says, flipping you over.

Your hair sprawls out around you and Thanos makes a show of taking off your panties now that you're laying down.

A show seemingly for Nam-Gyu. Almost as if to say, "Fuck you, you wish this was you, huh?"

Just as he begins to fuck you again, he turns to Nam-Gyu.

"Move off the bed, you're in the fucking way." Thanos orders.

"Where do you expect me to sit, then?" Nam-Gyu questions, clearly annoyed.

"Sit on the fucking floor for all I care, I don't give a fuck- move."

Nam-Gyu chews his lips, "I don't want to sit on the fucking floor like a dog."

"Don't act like one, then! Your options are you sit on the floor or you go sit in your fucking bed. Either way you have to stop bitching. Decide -fast- and shut the fuck up." Thanos says and a muscle in Nam-Gyu's jaw tightens. They are both irked.

"You think you can just talk to me however the fuck you want?" Nam-Guy says.

"Yeah, I do. And you're not gonna do a fucking thing because I give you drugs and you're a fucking junkie." Thanos laughs.

He continues to fuck you, slowly at first but speeds up as he hears your feedback.

Nam-Gyu is silent but the energy is different.

"You're a junkie, too. You chose drugs over your fucking career, man. Don't act better than me." He finally says.

Thanos snaps, "Did I not tell you to sit on the fucking floor, bitch? Did I not fucking tell you that?"

"What makes you think I have to do what you say?" Nam-Gyu starts, "I'm over it. You think you're God's fucking gift to this earth when in reality you are a freak."

Thanos shoulders him off the bed and to the ground, "The shoes I came in here with cost more than your fucking rent, don't talk to me like that again."

Nam-Gyu stays on the ground but sits up. He rubs his shoulder, where he hit the ground.

"Should we show him how much of a freak I am, baby?" He asks, smugly, back to hovering over you in an instant.

He enters you, again. This time: no distractions.

He fucks you hard and deep; he's using you like a toy. His colorful nails dig deep into your hips, directing your every move.

"Fuck, Thanos..." You say and he digs his fingers into your soft skin harder.

"I love when you say my name." He groans.

You turn your head, Nam-Gyu sits on the floor, pathetically grabbing at himself.

Thanos grabs your head, harshly, and faces it back to him so you are locking eyes, "Don't pay him no mind, baby. Think about how good my cock feels, okay? Be a good girl now..."

"Yes, Daddy" you say, accidentally. Thanos grips the sheets in reaction.

"Fuck! Call me that again. Who am I?"

"Daddy... please..." You moan.

"Please what, baby?" He purrs

"I'm close..."

His pace quickens at your soft pleading as he hits the same spot over and over. Your legs are shaking soon, your knuckles white- gripping his hair.

You hear Nam-Gyu making soft noises beside you, straining his head to get the best view.

"Show me how good it feels, Princess." He says, he's fucking you so hard a bead of sweat drips off his jaw, splattering on your cheek.

Uncontrollably, it comes to you. You cry out, loud. This does nothing to slow him down.

"Yeah, baby? It feels that good?" He smirks.

When you finish, he doesn't stop, he continues, ruthlessly.

He only slows to lift up your legs so they're resting on his shoulders.

Nam-Gyu's pumping gets more reckless, he sits on his knees and moans softly after you finish.

You ride out your orgasm as Thanos grows closer. Your moans are meaningless streams of words now.

"Fuck... c'mon, baby... I'm so close." His eyes roll back.

"Please, cum inside me, Daddy" You beg.

With that, he's finally tipping over the edge, his thrusts getting sloppier as he fills you up.

"Yes, Princess, fuck... You're perfect..." He says, finally slowing down. He remains inside you only long enough to lean down and give you a quick kiss.

"That was fucking... amazing..." he says, out of breath. You both fall asleep right there, neither worried about Nam-Gyu.

[god-o-bees]

Nikto X Krueger X Reader

Pt3 NSFW

Female Reader

This is a longer one😅

Oh god, they had fucked.

You could smell it on them the next day. It was unmistakable, their scents were all mixed together- they hadn't even showered. You kept your head down. Nikto probably wouldn't remember you, or even care. Krueger seemed happy with this new development, and may not ever need to talk to you again.

It didn't matter to them how you felt, of course. Besides, you didn't even know these guys, why would you be hurt by any of this?

Because he used you. Made you think for a moment that you were worth his time.

It wasn't that unusual. You'd never been the most appealing omega. You weren't meek or bashful. You didn't bat your eyelashes and beg for attention.

Even if you did, it wouldn't work.

Whatever.

You needed fresh air, something to flush out all the embarrassing thoughts crowding your mind.

《•°~☆~°•~☆~•°~☆~°•~☆~•°~☆~°•》

Krueger hadn't gotten rid of the shirt. Nikto noticed it under his pillow, the scent of it's owner rubbed into the sheets. As the week passed, however, the shirt itself lost that sharp aroma, and smelled more like the deep forest that Krueger embodied.

As much as he felt possessive of Krueger, he couldn't bring himself to get upset. Y/N, he'd called them. The omega with the fierce scent. God, what was he thinking? Him of all people, starting a pack- on base, no less.

And yet, the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. Having Krueger and you rely on him for safety, comfort and... other needs... he found his breath picking up.

He paced the room with the shirt in his hands as his thoughts began to spiral.

You'd stay in the room with them. Make a nest, fill the space with your scent. Maybe you'd mark him and Krueger as yours.

He looked down at the shirt. Guilt clawed at the back of his mind. He should really give this back to you.

《•°~☆~°•~☆~•°~☆~°•~☆~•°~☆~°•》

A knock at the door pulled you from your light sleep. You had managed to shake off most of the uncomfortable thoughts from a week ago, and successfully avoided the two men since. You occasionally saw them around, and picked up their scents around base, but whenever one came too close, you slipped away. It didn't matter how soothing their voices were to your ears, or how hungry their smells made you. You were no one to them.

You looked over to your roommates, who slept soundly in their beds.

Opening the door, you immediately felt the blood leaving your face.

"Um... Nikto, right?" You tried your best to retain a stoic exterior, despite the pit of embarrassment forming in your stomach.

"I came to return this to you," he explained, holding up a T-shirt you hadn't realized was missing.

"Oh- um, thanks. I must've left it in the gym or something..." You mumbled, but he shakes his head.

"Krueger stole it."

Your jaw dropped. "O-oh?"

"He used it to... tease me. Confuse me about my own feelings so I'd get my head out of my ass and figure out what I want. And I want him."

Why was he telling you all this? Just to rub it in your face? To really hammer home how much of a pawn you were in their game? You thought he'd just forget about you and move on, but you clearly underestimated his cruelty.

"I know this is... strange. And sudden. But I cannot get you out of my head. You make me want to care for you. The way I care for Krueger."

You felt dizzy. Like the world was spinning twice as fast. Your heart beat in your chest like you were running a marathon.

"I- I'm sorry, I don't understand," the words stumbled from your mouth.

"Can I show you what I mean, then?" He asked, his voice gentle and calm despite how deep and raspy it is. His hand took your wrist and lead you out to the hall, down towards an isolated room- his room.

"I can smell it on you," he said. "Your loneliness. Your anger. Such a lovely omega like you shouldn't feel those things."

He opened the door. The room was clearly meant to house around four beds in a standard bunk, but two were taken out while the other two were slid together in the far right corner. The whole place smelled of wood, of the wilderness, and of them.

"I asked Krueger to get some things for you. He'll be back shortly," he muttered into your ear as he guided you down to sit on the bed. Like you had been broken from a trance, you whipped your head up to look at him.

"You- what are you doing? You expect me to believe you've fallen for me- a broken omega you don't even know?" Your voice cracked, betraying your vulnerability despite your attempt to remain guarded.

"And- and what about Krueger? He's just going to be ok sharing you-" you were about break down when a cold hand rested on your collarbone from behind.

"You misunderstand the situation, Schatz."

You looked up at Krueger, who wrapped a blanket around you and pushed you down onto the matress. The blanket was pleasantly warm, like it had just been taken out of the laundry. He wasn't wearing his hood, letting you see the sharp angles of his features and the mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Our alpha wants to make us into a pack, Liebling," Krueger explained. Nikto visibly tensed at his words, but didn't deny it.

A pack. You, the unwanted, lonely little omega who could never find footing among your peers, in society, you were being asked to join a pack.

A place to fit in. To be cared for. To be wanted. You were wanted.

You rubbed your eyes and tried to hide your face in the soft fabric of the blanket. You tried to speak, but the only thing that escaped your mouth was a whine.

Krueger immediately started nuzzling his face into you, trying to soothe your anxiety and make you comfortable.

"Good little omega... it's ok, we're here now."

Nikto, on the other hand, was getting more blankets and pillows from a bin set next to the door and piling them around you.

Krueger pressed his nose into your scent gland and started taking deep breaths.

"Mein Gott, Schatz... I could get addicted to this," he murmured as he shifted his legs to straddle you. You felt the blood rush to your cheeks and down between your legs.

"Krueger," Nikto said, his voice stern, "What do you think you're doing?"

Krueger made an annoyed noise and look back at Nikto.

"They've got to be mated into the pack, right? Why not get that done right away?"

Nikto grumbled and tugged Krueger off of you.

"I'm the alpha here, not you. I'll be the first to mate them," he said, and looked at you. "Besides, Y/N, you haven't even said yes yet."

You blinked. "Said yes to what...?"

Both of the men looked at you expectantly. "Will you join our pack?" Krueger asked.

You nodded instantly. "Yes. Yes. I- I want to be in your pack. Please."

Nikto quickly changed positions with Krueger to straddle you, his hands fiddling with the band of his sweatpants before pulling out his cock, already half hard and twitching. You gasped when you saw it- large and intimidating, and he was going to fit it inside you. He was going to do that a lot, considering you were his omega now.

Krueger had gotten behind Nikto, pulling both their pants down to their knees and was currently kneading the alpha's ass. Nikto huffed but let him continue as he busied himself with your own clothes.

As soon as your skin was bare to him, Nikto ran a finger slowly down to your clit, biting back a moan when he felt the softness of it. He ventured further into your wet folds, spreading them apart and reaching deeper, making sure you could take all of him.

When he was finally satisfied, he pressed the head of his now fully erect cock against your welcoming entrance and groaned in ecstasy at the sensation. Your body began to quickly respond to his touch, and you let out a squeal as he sank into you. In the back of your mind you registered something else making contact with you, just below your entrance, but he began to move before you had time to think about it.

Every thrust of his hips elicited a groan and pant from your throat. He began to go faster when a whine suddenly sounded from behind him, and you realized what exactly was rubbing against you.

Krueger was fucking Nikto's thighs just to get to you.

Nikto growled in response but didn't shove him off. Unbeknownst to you, he was loving the feeling of the beta's cock between his legs, and was only displaying performative aggression. To let the both of you know who was really in control.

You began to tremble as your neared your limit, legs twitching with adrenaline soon to be released. That's when Nikto covered your eyes and you could hear the metallic click of his mask coming off.

"N-nikto- I'm gonna- I'm so close-"

He only grunted in response, his chapped and scarred lips tracing over your neck before settling on your scent gland.

"Cum," he ordered, and you obeyed, muscles tensing and voice strained when he bit down, the shape of his teeth becoming etched into your skin. At the same time, a warmth filled your insides as he let the last of his seed spill into you.

As the high wore off, Nikto pulled out of your convulsing pussy and shifted positions to be underneath you, holding you in place as Krueger teased your poor clit and inhaled the scent of you and Nikto combined. He eagerly lapped up some of the fluids seeping out of you before aligning his cock up to your hole.

He moaned in a breathy voice as he began to pound into you like an animal, mumbling under his breath about feeling his alpha's seed in his omega's pussy.

It didn't take long before both of you were once again on the edge, moaning and shaking like you were in heat.

"Nng- alpha, let me cum inside, bitte," Krueger whined, punctuating the last word with a thrust. Nikto reached out and took Krueger's throat in his hand, squeezing just enough to make him feel light headed.

"That's it, beta. Fill them up. Show me how bad you needed this."

Krueger gasped and did as he was told, sinking as deep as your body would allow as your second climax took hold of you. You clawed wildly at his back, groaning as every muscle in your body went stiff and abruptly relaxed. His arms enveloped you as he pulled out, letting the sheets get soiled with the evidence of your pleasure.

You didn't expect to find yourself drifting off so quickly, but Nikto pet your head reassuringly as you closed your eyes. You didn't want to fall asleep, you wanted to shower your alpha and beta in a thousand kisses, thank them for everything they had given you, and promise your heart and soul to them, but all you could do was mumble little I love you's into Krueger's neck until you fell asleep.

Pt1 Pt2

Masterlist

Bro did I create a new sex position?

[vxsellie]

‧₊˚┊simple living things﹗

a hunger games!au ellie williams fanfiction.⌇ 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔭 𝔦𝔳

summary. the capitol, what a lovely place. however, as humanity's story goes, the most captivating sights have the darkest secrets. capitolites crawl around the city like vermin, teeth bared like daggers ready to sink their teeth into the newest tributes. good thing they have a few days to train.

content warnings. mentions of past suicide (only lasts a paragraph or two), depictions of gore (it's in a dream tho dw), graphic depictions of addiction, smoking, and fist fighting (not in the way you think??)

total wc. 13,045

notes!! i don't have much to say ab this one guys im sorry,, i didn't edit it so that's really great but i talk about that more in the post-notes @ the end!! once again, reminder that it's better read on ao3!

𝜗𝜚 series masterlist ⸝⸝ playlist ⸝⸝ ao3 𝜗𝜚

20:10.

TRAINING CENTER, FLOOR 4.

“Oh, isn’t it lovely?” Alice Reymond beams at the suite, clasping her hands together in awe.

The Training Center is one of many skyscrapers within the Capitol, a large portion of it dedicated to the yearly tributes and their teams. Each floor is assigned to its corresponding District. For example, the first and lowest floor is where the tributes of One will reside. As such, you and Remy are assigned to floor four. Sam and Henry are below you on three, Ariadne Evans and Selene Jones above you on five.

Since the Reapings, you’ve spent hours memorizing each tribute. Ruben deems it to be a waste of time, saying most of them will die in the bloodbath at the Cornucopia. You beg to differ. Sure, a good portion of tributes will die early on, but most of them will end up surviving the bloodbath and be threats to your survival. Since most people view it as Ruben does, your determination to memorize each tribute provides you with the ascendancy. Well, it would, had you not been born a L/n.

If they Capitol weren’t so fucking infatuated by your family, you’d undeniably have the upper hand by knowing each tribute by name and District. But they all already know you. By more than just name, at that. They know your family tree, history, District, name, and all else that’s up for common knowledge — which is everything. It’s fucking maddening. You have to do double the work just to learn each name whilst yours is a given to everyone else. 

You’ll be a target in the arena, deemed the highest threat and the most valuable kill.

“We each have our own rooms, bathrooms, and dressing rooms. Just like on the train. Though this place is far more ostentatious.” Alice continues on, walking around the space with a wide grin. “Dinner will be served in half an hour, so you’re able to get washed up. Return back here in something more comfortable than those costumes, yes?”

Alice shoos you and Remy away, turning to admire the suite alone. She continues to mutter words of veneration under her breath long after everyone has left.

The suite has an open layout, kitchen and living room separated by a three foot wall. To the right of the space is a wide hallway, corinthian columns on either side. Down the hall are four doors, one for each of you. The floors are hardwood, the walls velvet with intricate mouldings.

You push open your door. Your room is decorated in different shades of blue, likely due to Four’s being a fishing District. It’s cliche, though you find yourself far more fond of the blues than you were of the pure whiteness back home. It adds character despite that being basic.

You’re quick to strip out of your pirate outfit, slipping into something more congenial. 

Your stylist was kind enough, a short plump woman named Birdie. Her hair was chopped into an electric red pixie cut that messily framed her round face. She didn’t look as much as a Capitolite as Alice Reymond, though she still had that wealthy aura to her. She was super sweet, asking how you wanted your hair done and how short you wanted your skirts. Most stylists don’t care to ask for the tributes’ preferences, so you were grateful to her in that sense of things.

The piracy was her idea, though she allowed you to choose between fabrics. You were sure you’d be dressed into something appalling, whether that be two shells or a full blue bodysuit. But the pirate dress wasn’t too bad. It was actually the best option possible. It was creative enough to draw attention, yet modest enough that you weren’t exploited.

You remember feeling someone’s eyes on you at all times, making you shift uncomfortably as you couldn’t figure out who was staring.

But when your carriage turned after leaving President Fedra’s building, you caught the eye of District Seven’s tribute. Ellie Williams, you believed her name to be. She wore something much showier than you did, making her undeniably attractive. Her short auburn hair was cast back, accentuating her blotchy freckles. Whoever Seven’s stylist is this year surely has an eye for Ellie’s features, knowing exactly what to highlight and how.

You walk around your room, taking in the sight of the space. It’s larger than your room on the train, though it’s full of so many gadgets that it doesn't feel as vast as your room at home. You mess around with the devices for a while, exploring the wonders of Capitol technology. 

You can change the color of your walls, lightbulbs, and carpet with the press of a button. You leave it on blue though, something about the color bringing a sense of comfort to the foreign space. There’s also a machine that materializes food within the blink of an eye! All you have to do is order a meal by speaking into the intercom! How cool is that?

Your adulation is quick to fade. And you’re now disgusted by it.

Kids die from starvation in the Districts daily. Yet, here in the Capitol, food is materialized by the press of a button? The thought makes your stomach churn and you’ve suddenly lost your appetite.

Right on time, there’s a knock at your door. You rush to open it, no longer wanting to be near the sickening machines of the Capitol. Alice stands in the hallway, eyes bright as she announces that it’s time for supper. You nod, following behind her to the kitchen. On the way, she knocks on Remy’s door and he joins you guys at the table.

You sit down, the meals already set out in front of each of the four chairs. Though, one remains empty. Looking down the table to where Ruben should be sitting, there’s naught in his space. You raise an eyebrow at this, turning to Alice.

“Where’s my brother?” 

“Oh, all mentors attend a dinner at the Capitol following the Parade! They’re able to talk with sponsors about how well you guys did.” She responds cheerily as she tells an Avox to cut her steak. “He should be back by now, though. Hm. Perhaps he’s just running late.”

You frown, having no choice but accept her nugatory explanation — which did nothing to console your nerves. 

The Avox nods, stepping away once he’s cut her meal into tiny bites. You catch his eye and he raises his brows, silently offering to cut yours as well. You shake your head, “I’ve got it, don’t worry.”

Alice glances up at you, her movements paused. “What’d you say?”

“I wasn’t speaking to you.” You tell her, gesturing to the Avox behind her. You speak casually despite knowing how this will inevitably vex her. “He was going to cut my steak for me and I declined.” Her eyes widen before she places her fork down gently, trying hard to withhold her patience. “It’s informal to speak to Avoxes in such a manner, Y/n. You’re meant only to address them when giving orders. They’re criminals and have earned their place as servants.”

“What’s informal is your lack of sympathy.” You scoff. “You have no idea what their crimes are. There’s a high possibility that they’re defendable, that they have families who miss them dearly.” “Yet there’s a higher chance that’s not the case.” She responds. 

Alice appears to be absolutely horrified by your show of defiance and willingness to argue on such a matter as this. Remy watches with wide eyes as you two continue to bicker back and forth, all Avoxes now having lowered their heads to avoid drawing attention to themselves.

Your argument is ended only when the front door of the suite clicks open.

Ruben staggers through the doorway, his hair tousled and his shirt half unbuttoned. Your eyes widen as he lifts his head. His pupils are blown and bloodshot, his lips are parted and chapped. The cause is obvious — the post Parade dinner. He must’ve taken one too many of the personally enhanced drugs that the Capitol provides him with.

Alice is quick to her feet, rushing to his aid. It’s so odd how she can be so caring at times, yet so malicious at others. Remy’s brows are furrowed in confusion, clearly not understanding why Ruben is acting so peculiarly. 

Alice brings him over to his chair, where he slumps down onto the table. You don’t move. Part of you feels a sense of pain, seeing him like this. You feel like you should help him as he’d helped you all through your childhood. But another part of you wants to run away, cower in your room until it’s all over. You’re frozen in place, feeling like that useless, defenseless child you once were. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Remy asks, his voice small.

It takes a few seconds before you realize the question is directed at you. Remy watches you with concerned eyes. You blink a few times, taking a deep breath to ground yourself before you answer him. 

“He just had a lot of fun and he’s feeling a bit tired, is all.” You say, using the same response Ruben once gave when explaining why your father would return home drunk all the time. You then turn to Alice with the same pointed expression Ruben would give your mother. “Stay with Remy, I’ll take Ruben to bed. We’ll let him sleep it off. He’ll be better by dawn.”

Alice’s brows furrow for a second, though she’s quick to piece it together. She nods, pulling Ruben’s face out of his food before stepping away to allow you to intervene. You crouch down, draping one of his arms over your shoulders before pulling him to his feet.

Ruben stumbles, his knees buckling under her weight so you’re practically carrying him all the way to his bedroom.

His room is a carbon copy of your own, though he’s switched the color settings to a dusky hue of taupe. You lead him over to his bed before dropping him onto the mattress, allowing his weight to slide off your sore shoulders. He groans, shifting around atop the blankets.

“Oh, quit your whining.” You roll your eyes, though you’re aware he’s likely too far gone to comprehend anything you say. With a sigh, you begin to unlace his shoes. “If anything, you should be thanking me.”

“Thanks, Y/n.” He says, syllables slurring together. He barely opens his mouth, his voice muffled through his teeth. He lulls his head to the side, peering at you through lidded eyes. “‘Never wanted ya t’ do this part, y’know.”

“I know.” You whisper, tossing his shoes aside.

You unbutton his shirt, pulling it off his shoulders for him. Scars cover his arms and torso, painting his skin in different shades of pigmentation. Some scares you recognize to have been caused by your parents’ abuse, others by his time in the arena. There are only a couple that you were unaware of. Though, despite already having known about almost all of them, the sight of his body so battered is painful to look at. 

You wonder if yours will look so bad after your Games. You’re already coated in scars from your parents' inflictions, but that makes up only half of what Ruben has. A mosaic of all things bad, scars are. They paint a picture of ache, telling the story of one’s agony.

You stand straight, folding his shirt over your arm before placing it on his desk. The Avoxes clean the rooms while everyone’s asleep, which includes picking up clothes. So, taking a few seconds to fold them neatly goes a long way.

“G’night.” Ruben murmurs as you open the door to leave. Despite his residual grogginess, the next three words that leave him ring clear as day through the dark room. “I love you.”

Your heart clenches in your chest at the sound, not having heard those words fall from his mouth in a long, long time. You never thought you’d hear them again and, if you did, you hoped it would be said in sobriety. With him inebriated in such a way, you don’t feel it’d be fair to return the gesture. It’d erase all intended sentiment.

“Yeah,” You whisper, “You too.”

With that, you exit his bedroom and shut the door softly behind you. You walk back out to the dining area, seeing that the table has long since been abandoned. Remy and Alice must have gone off to bed. The Avoxes are clearing the dishes, working in complete silence. You thank them, grabbing the attention of a few. As they’re unable to respond, they simply nod in appreciation before returning to their task.

You stand in there for a moment, unsure of what to do next. You could go to your bedroom, though the sight of all the gadgets makes you sick and you’re certain you’ll be unable to sleep. In the end, you decide to exit the suite. 

It’s frowned upon to venture the halls at night, though it’s technically not unallowed. There are cameras everywhere, watching the tributes’ every move. You spot three in just the hallway down to the elevator. The buttons on the wall start at ground level — where the actual training is set to take place starting tomorrow morning — ranges from 1 to 12 for each District, then ends at rooftop. You were unaware that the Training Center even had roof access. Curiosity gets the better of you, causing you to press the button.

The walls of the elevator are glass, allowing you to look at each floor as you pass it. Though you’re moving far too fast to actually examine what you’re seeing. 

You step out of the small space once you’ve reached the roof, the doors sliding open to reveal a huge amount of space. The railing is made of concrete, reaching the height of your chest. Though you know that there’s an invisible boundary preventing the tributes from killing themselves before the Games. The Capitol wants to see your deaths, so prior suicide is highly loathed by the excited viewers.

The air is chilly, but not cold. You walk across the roof to the edge of the building, resting your elbows on the concrete wall. You can’t see the stars here as the city pollutes the sky with artificial light. The streets, however, provide their own spectacle. And, if you squint hard enough, they almost look like stars. But you quickly feel dumb once you’ve done it. 

The fresh air is nice, despite the lack of stars. It helps to clear your head, ridding your thoughts of your own problems. But whenever your mind manages to stray, you’re reminded of Ruben and how closely he resembles the father he loathes so greatly. They’re perfect mirrors of one another — addicted to the Capitol’s attention, abandoning their family to relish in the spotlight of the sadists, and eventually falling victim to addiction. The only difference is that Ruben hadn’t had kids yet. Perhaps he never will, the fear of replication too much to bear. More than that, you wonder if you’ll end up like the same way, partying with the Capitolites until you’re unable to walk. It’s in your blood, you suppose, so you’re sure it’s inevitable. Might as well accept it now, right?

Just as your thoughts begin taking a darker turn, you hear the elevator doors slide open.

You straighten our back, knowing whoever it is must be either a tribute, mentor, or escort and they’re thereby an enemy to you. As soon as you’re in the arena, whoever they are will be working towards your death.

“You can’t jump, y’know.” A rough, female voice says as her footsteps thud across the rooftop toward you. “I heard a rumor that there’s an invisible field around the building.”

You only look in her direction once she’s leaned against the railing beside you, her back facing the cityscape. Ellie Williams. The girl who defied the Capitol at her Reaping, the girl who stared at you throughout the Parade, the girl who’s suddenly pulling out a cigarette.

“Want one?” She asks, catching your gaze.

“Didn’t know those were allowed here.” You respond shortly, turning to face back forward.

“They’re not.” Is all she says.

Your lips thin in silent perspicacity, eyes narrowing. “Of course not.”

“Well they can’t arrest me, can they? It’s too late, they need me in the Games.” She points out, placing the cigarette between her lips. She once again holds one out to you. You shake your head and she shrugs. “It’s not like your lungs will kill you any sooner than the arena will.” “Unless I survive.” You point out.

“There’s always that, yeah.” She agrees easily, igniting the cigarette with an oddly shaped lighter. It looks oddly familiar to you. She notices your staring and is quick to defend herself. “It’s not mine, it’s Joel’s. So are the cigs. He’s the one who advised me to smoke in the first place, said it’d helped to ease his nerves before his Games. So I decided ‘why the fuck not?’”

She inhales deeply, though it’s apparently too deep because she suddenly breaks out into a coughing fit. She spins around to lean on the wall forward-facing. 

You watch as she struggles for air, the hacking eventually fading to laughter. She straightens, still raspy as she says, “I get that you think you’re better than everyone, but you could at least try to make conversation before we’re shipped off to die. What’s the harm?”

“I don’t think I’m better than everyone.” You respond with a huff.

“Might not think so, but you are.” She says, inhaling once more. She coughs again, though it’s far less riveting than the first time. She exhales the smoke out into the night sky, her breath forming a puffed cloud against the blackness. “You’re the rich girl, you’ll get all the sponsors. You’re already better off than I am in that sense.”

“You’ll get sponsors just fine, I’m sure.” 

You say, thinking back to her costume in the Parade and the way the Capitol adored it. Exploitation is one of the most used methods to obtain sponsors. If she plays her cards right, she could easily be the newest Diamond. She’s attractive and you’d be a fool to deny that.

“Not if you’re hoarding them all.” Says Ellie. You know she doesn’t mean it insultingly, but it still hits you that way. She notices your expression and adds, “Intentional or not, the Capitoli- Uh, Capitol people will be tripping over themselves to get you gifts.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation to you, they won’t be sent through to me.” You say, because it’s true.

Ruben may be your mentor, but your father is sure to be present in Saint Mary’s Hall — which is where the mentors watch the Games and coordinate sponsorships. He’s a Diamond and will therefore be permitted entry, especially considering his daughter is a tribute. 

When Ruben was in the Games, your father had been his mentor and controlled all his sponsorships. Because gifts must first be approved by the mentor prior to being sent into the arena, he had this power. But, the thing is, your father refused a single gift from reaching Ruben. Even when he was dying of dehydration and bloodloss, he refused to let anything through. It created a rift in Saint Mary’s Hall, many sponsors deeming him immoral. He was quick to patch that up, though, as he said he’d been doing it to make his son stronger. Being as skilled as he is at manipulation, the Capitolites were quick to naivety. From there, he was only praised for his thinly veiled neglect.

So, if your father is within the Hall this year — as he likely will be — there’s no way anything will be sent through to you. He’ll refrain Ruben from permitting gifts and withhold sponsorships completely, purely because he wants his kids to win fair and square. It’s iniquitous to let you starve, yes, but you’re almost glad for it. Because Ellie is right. If it weren’t for his cruelty, you’d be undeniably hoarding all sponsors from other tributes. Sponsors could send you buffets and magical medicines while all other tributes die out slowly of starvation and lack of medical care. It’d be the equivalent to cheating the Games and you’ll be damned if you win this thing through sponsorships. If you make it out alive, it’ll be thanks to you, not the Capitol.

“Won’t be sent through?” Ellie asks. She raises a brow at you, wordlessly inclining you to explain.

Instead of telling her your entire life story, you redirect the subject to one you know she’ll be unable to deny. “Actually, I changed my mind. I could use a smoke.”

Ellie’s eyes widen, the corners of her lips twitching as she removes the cigarette from her lips and holds it out to you. You hold it between your index and middle fingers, staring at it with a hint of uncertainty. It’s unwise to do anything related to addiction, considering your family history. But it’s so tempting and the arena isn’t too far away. Plus, being addicted to smoking cigarettes is far better than your father’s alcoholism or Ruben’s drug addiction. Right?

“Scared?” Ellie taunts you.

Her gibe is the final push to make you indulge. You scowl at her before placing the cigarette between your lips and inhaling deeply. It seeps into your lungs, burning the back of your throat on the way down. Your head instantly feels wonky, your vision swimming. You hear Ellie’s laughter as you begin coughing just as hard as she had.

You lean against the concrete barrier, resting your forehead on your folded arms to muffle the hacking sounds. Between coughs, you manage, “That was fucking awful.”

It takes a bit for you to quiet down. The first feeling that you register is queasiness, but then you notice the equanimity. Your maddening thoughts have begun to muffle, pushed to the back of your mind. It only lasts a few seconds though, causing you to already reach for another drag.

“What’d you come up here for?” Ellie asks, passing you the cigarette. “You already know I’m here to smoke, it’s only fair for you to explain in return.”

“Hey, I never asked you for an explanation.” You remind her, inhaling. “I owe you nothing.”

“No, but you’re using my cigarettes aren’t you?” She points out, a glint of something akin to regalement behind her gaze. “A form of payment is due anyhow.”

“Joel’s cigarettes, you mean.”

“Shit,” She curses as you pass it back to her, “I forgot I told you that.”

You huff a laugh, watching as she turns to face the horizon. Not that it’s much of a sight though, what with the buildings plaguing the skyline. Her side profile is illuminated by the dull lighting of the roof. Your eyes trace the slope of her nose, admittedly infatuated by her. You blame it on the nicotine, even more so on the relaxation it causes you.

Ellie drops the cigarette off the roof, pulling a second from her box. While she’s turned, you begin speaking. Perhaps because it’s easier to talk when you can’t see her face or perhaps the cigs are making you that much more sociable.

“Back home, there’s nowhere I could go where I couldn’t see the ocean.” You say, causing Ellie to suddenly perk up at your voice. Her eyes flick between your face and her hands as she rushes to light the cigarette. “I rarely spent time in it, always holed up in our house. But the sight of the sparkling water was a comforting constant throughout my life. It’s odd to be where the water isn’t. Plus, despite not having been in it much, the few memories I do have are enough to satisfy me. They’re all good ones.”

“Let’s hear ‘em.” Ellie says, passing you the lit cigarette. 

You inhale deeply before speaking, “Well, my first memory of the sea is learning to swim in it. My brother took me. He wasn’t allowed to, but I begged him so he did. He was patient, but laughed at me the entire time, saying I looked like a fish out of water. He claims I was a fast learner, that I picked it up quick. But I can remember the salt in the back of my throat and the way my eyes burned. There was nothing quick about that. I was four and was certain I would die.”

Ellie chuckles, watching you from the side. One arm is rested atop the railing, the other taking the cig from your hand. “He’s your mentor this year, right? What’s that like?”

The question itself is innocent enough, genuine curiosity that comes with getting to know a stranger. But it makes you bristle nonetheless, your shoulders suddenly feeling tense. Not because of Ellie’s question but because of the answer. 

‘It’s horrible.’ You could say in regards to the technicalities. The distance between you, the long glances you share, the unsaid apologies. Flashes of his messy hair, bloodshot eyes, and undone blouse pop into your head. ‘It’s great.’ You could say, just as truthfully. This time, you’d be referring to the mentality of his proximity rather than the materialistic things. The comfort that comes with being near him, even amid deafening silence, the odd nostalgia that hits you when he’s sat at the dinner table beside you.

Though, as it turns out, the memory that announces itself most needily is the one most painful — tucking him into bed after he’d taken a few too many pills only a short while ago. Perhaps because it falls under both categories. The horridity of seeing him so disheveled paired with the aching reminder of your father. Though, there’s still a greatness to it. To feel him lean on you, knowing that you’re actively repaying all he’d done in your shared youth, that he needs you. To hear those three words whispered into the darkness of his room despite knowing they’re empty of the meaning you covet.

“Did I say something wrong?” Ellie is quick to ask, nervosity to her tone as she picks up on your hesitation. “I didn’t mean to.”

“No,” You say, “I’m just not sure how to explain it. The duality.”

She hums in recognition. “I get that. I came here with a loved one as well and, uh, it surely didn’t turn out as I thought it would.”

You blink at her, taking the cig from her offered hand. Your thoughts are fuzzy, though just barely enough that you hardly even notice. It’s nice how you’re still in control of yourself whilst feeling the faraway effects of the nicotine. 

“Riley, right?” You ask, tilting your head at her as you breathe in the tingly air.

She nods, “Yeah. We’ve been best friends since we were nine, inseparable. But, recently, she’s grown a bit distant. Though she didn’t fully disappear on me until the Reaping. Since then, we haven’t spoken a word to one another.”

“You looked pretty close during the Parade.” You tell her.

You can vividly recall the image of their intertwined hands coming onto the screens. The crowd cheered as you watched with thinned lips. It was obvious to you what it meant, though the audience remained completely oblivious. You were impressed, at first, by their unapologetic defiance to the Capitol, especially considering it was the second time they’d done it. But you knew it was a bad idea on their part. Once they're in the arena, the Gamemakers need only press a button to end their lives.

“Didn’t realize you were looking.” Ellie says.

“Everyone was looking.”

She thinks on this before saying, “It’s odd, isn’t it? The lack of privacy. The Parade aside, there’s always someone looking.”

“I suppose.” You agree.

To you, it’s not such a foreign concept. Even in your own home, you were unallowed to lock doors. Your father claimed that needing solitude was a flaw that’d lead to vulnerability in social settings. So having privacy was never even a question, though there’s a vast difference between the possibility of someone walking into your bedroom when compared to being ceaselessly monitored at all times. 

How someone could ever grow used to being watched nonstop is beyond you. Even in your private bedrooms and bathrooms in your assigned suites, there’s no way of knowing whether there are cameras. You wonder how Ruben dealt with it, how he still deals with it annually during his mentorship for the past ten years.

Ruben’s Games were twelve years ago, though he’s only been a mentor for ten in total. He was a mentor for two years until your uncle, Theodore, won the 64th Games. Theodore promptly took over the role of mentorship for District Four for the following two years. It was only cut short when he drank himself dead. His second year being a mentor, two children were Reaped and both died brutally in the arena. He’d blamed himself and ended up committing indirect suicide via alcohol poisoning.

It was a hard toll on everyone. He was always so cheerful, a big round man who was exceedingly vocal about the things he loved. After his Games, though, he changed. He was secluded in a way he’d never been before. To learn that cheery Uncle Theo killed himself was hard on a ten year old. He was your favorite relative after Ruben. You oftentimes wonder what he’d think of your Reaping, how he’d mentor you in place of your brother. Would it be more or less tolerable?

At the thought, you reach for the cigarette. Ellie passes it to you wordlessly.

You’re grateful for her lack of questions, glad she’s able to realize when you don’t necessarily wish to speak. You’re also grateful for the comfortability of her silence. With Ruben, quietude is an awkward endeavour, making the air so thick you feel suffocated. Even with Alice, it feels unnatural. But with Ellie, it feels intrinsic to her company. 

“Shit, it’s probably getting late, huh?” She says after a long time of silence. You look up at the moon, noticing how far it’s risen into the sky. It’s been about an hour or two since you abandoned your suite for the fresh air. Ellie runs her hands down her jeans as she straightens. “I’ve gotta get going before my escort notices I’m gone. She’s super controlling about that kind of thing.”

“Your escort is Tilly Reymond, right?” You ask, recalling the way she’d approached Alice right before the Parade, referring to her as a sibling would.

“Oh yeah,” Ellie says, “Yours is Alice.”

You laugh, remembering their conversation from earlier today. They bickered like children. Tilly had come over to ask if Alice was feeling proud of herself for having another L/n Reaped in her lifetime, to which Alice grinned madly and said she did, in fact, feel rather pleased. From there, they did little aside from argue. 

Their quarrel differs greatly from yours with Ruben. Tilly and Alice are passive aggressive, giving compliments on each other’s dress whilst eyeing a certain stain or disarranged jewel. You and Ruben, on the other hand, fight as though you’d both rather eat glass than admit the other to be correct. It’s nasty, throwing insults like daggers. Something you’d both been unfortunate enough to inherit from your parents, presumably. To argue with such animalistic avidity.

“Well,” Ellie says with a small smile to announce her residual need for departing, “Meet me here at the same time tomorrow? I’ll bring some more cigarettes.”

“More of Joel’s cigarettes.” You correct her with a teasing grin.

She waves a dismissive hand, “Yeah, yeah.”

And with that, Ellie Williams walks back inside. She’d left you with the cig you’d been smoking, so you remain outside for a little while longer as you work it down to a butt. Your mind reels with tangled thoughts of the Parade, Ruben’s addiction, and Ellie’s laughter. Fuck, it’s been a long day. And tomorrow is bound to be even more taxing.

6:00.

TRAINING CENTER, FLOOR 7.

Ellie hardly slept a wink last night, her dreams full of terrors regarding her upcoming fate. Through wafts of heavy smoke, trees from Seven, and estranged voices, she could barely make out the contents of her slumber. What she could decipher was waking up over and over, only to find she’s still trapped in a dream. 

At one point, she was in the arena. As she doesn’t yet know what she’ll be thrown into, her brain concocted the one from last year — which had been won by a girl named Abigail Anderson. It was a rocky terrain, the entire arena on a slope. The tributes were on a mountain, having to find shelter in caves and trees that littered the topography. The tributes in her dream, however, were the ones Reaped this year. She was starving and wounded and struggled to walk on the dampened stone. Other tributes ran past her, their forms abstract and footsteps inhuman. She called for help, only to be ignored by each one. Finally, after what felt like hours of agony, someone crouched down to aid her. Riley. Her best friend and her savior. Except she wasn’t. Instead of propounding assistance, she pulled Ellie to her feet only to shove her back again. She’d tumbled down the mountain, eyesight rolling alongside her. The scene shifted.

She’d fallen all the way down to the rooftop from last night. The logistics were nonsensical, though that hardly mattered when she took in the state of the unwaking world. From her place of elevation, she was able to overlook the Capitol as she’d done last night. Though, this time, the buildings were up in flames, people screaming in the streets with scorched flesh and mutilated bodies. She attempted to run to the elevator, only to find that her feet were manacled to the floor. She fought with futility against the chains until her ankles were bruised and blistered from the unforgiving metal. Somehow, due to unconscious malarkey, she could see the Capitolites as though she were looking through a pair of binoculars. Their faces, distorted and pained. Their hair, scorched and lacking in their tell-tale extravagance. Then she saw a familiar face. Riley, crumpled on the ground just as Ellie had been when they were on the mountain. Riley reached up, begging for help. Ellie lurched at the sight, though she was still bound to the rooftop. Riley was pleading with someone. Ellie followed her gaze to see you, leaned back coolly against a brick building with a cigarette hanging from your lips. Her– Well, Joel’s cigarette. You helped Riley to her feet, only to shove her to the ground. It was a perfect mirror of what Riley had done to Ellie. Only this time, the shove caused her to be trampled by the huge crowd of panicked people that plagued the streets. Her body was crushed under the people until she was naught but a heap of meat and tissue.

Ellie awoke with a jolt, her chest heaving. 

Those were the only two dreams she could accurately recall. All the rest were blurred and distorted by the others. But she knows there were more, so many more. The scene kept shifting, antagonizing her relentlessly. Flashes of Riley’s face, both pleading and cruel. Of your face, imbued by that same duality. Of Joel’s or Marlene’s or even Tilly’s. Her mind was a horrid, callous place and she never wanted to think of the terrors again.

Though, as it turns out, her luck ran out rather quickly. The trepidation of her dreams followed her all the way down to the training rooms below ground level. Joel and Tilly brought she and Riley down, the group of them comfortably conversing in the elevator. Even Riley joined in, though Ellie couldn’t. Her head was still reeling, though she’d woken an hour prior. She wonders if she’s still in a dream, only this time with sentience.

She chews at her nails as the elevator opens to reveal a wide, metallic hallway with two heavy doors at the end. Above them is a sign reading, Tribute Training Rooms. She removes her fingers from her face, stuffing her hands in her pockets. 

“Hey,” She feels a heavy hand on her shoulder, causing her to jerk away. She turns to see Joel standing beside her as Tilly and Riley leave them in favor of entering the training rooms. “You’re actin’ weird today.”

“Oh,” She breathes, willing herself to relax, “It’s nothing, just on edge. I guess.”

He nods, pulling her over to a shadowy corner of the hall. “Did the cigarettes work? Y’know, for your nerves.”

“Uh, yeah, actually.” She says. “In fact, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.”

Just then, the elevator doors creak open and another pair of tributes walk out with their mentor and escort. She recognizes them to be from Eleven, only able to remember because that’s the Reaping that Riley stormed off after. 

They’re the two kids, their mentor being Dina Woodward who won the 66th Games at age thirteen. She’s infamously kind to her younger tributes as she’s able to relate to their youth. The Capitol is split directly in half, one portion adoring her for the empathy whilst the opposing portion loathes her for it.

As they walk past, Dina offers Joel a kind nod that he returns. She pushes the heavy double doors open, holding them ajar for her little tributes to saunter through. Joel only turns back to Ellie after Dina has shut the door behind them.

“Ya have to be more careful.” He tells her harshly. “If anyone, even Dina, overheard that you’re smokin’ in the Capitol, we could get into a shitload o’ trouble. Me specifically, since they can’t do anythin’ to you before the Games. But still.”

“I get it.” Ellie scoffs. “I didn’t even say anything while she was out here, anyway.”

“Well still.” He crosses his arms. “What’d ya wanna ask me?”

“Why’re you helping me?” She inquires, eyes narrowing in distrust. “You were a complete dick when we first met and now you’re giving me illegal solutions to help my nerves. Why even bother if you think Y/n will kill me?”

Joel sighs through his nose, leaning back. “I had a talk with a friend last night.”

“At the dinner party?”

“Yep.” He concurs. “She kinda lit into me ‘n’ said I need to at least try with my tributes. See, I wouldn't usually take such hard criticism, but t’ argue with Teresa Servopoulos is a fuckin’ death wish.”

“That’s..” Ellie trails off, trying hard to remember which District she’s from. But her mind is blank. She knows Tess is a mentor, which would explain her presence at the dinner party last night, but Ellie can’t seem to recall anything else about her.

“District Three.” Joel says, picking up on Ellie’s contemplation. “Victor ‘f the 55th Games.”

“Oh yeah.” She says. “She won the year before you did.”

“Yeah, she–”

Joel is cut off by the elevator doors opening again. From them, District Two’s crew exits. Ellie stiffens at the sight of Abigail Anderson’s strong build. The braided girl scowls at Joel, her gaze so sharp it could cut through the tension that’s suddenly accumulated within the hall. Had Ellie not just had that funky dream about Abigail’s arena, she’d likely have not thought anything of her presence. But she did and so she does.

She won last year’s Games, taking over mentorship from Melanie Moore. Abigail’s victory allowed Melanie to move to District Ten, where she instantly wed Owen Moore — winner of the 70th Games. Their relationship gathered a lot of attention from the Capitol as people gushed over their love story, much to Melanie’s distaste. This year is the first time in seven years that Melanie isn’t the mentor for Two. Which is a shame because the tributes appear to have already picked up Abigail’s insolence. Lev and Yara walk shoulder to shoulder, glaring at Joel just as their mentor is.

Joel frowns, though he seems more upset than angry at their show of distaste. Once they’ve entered the training rooms, Ellie turns to him. “Geez, what’s her problem?”

“Uh,” He pauses, thinking on how best to explain, “Her father, Jerry, was Reaped the same year that I was. And, well, only one victor can win, so–”

“I get it.” Ellie nods, feeling a sense of solemnity to his tone. It’s unsettling to hear from such a naturally rough man. Joel’s Games were aired when Ellie was three years old, so she doesn’t recall much from them. The Capitol replays highlights from past Games, but it’s not the same. She knows only what the Capitol deems important — his most brutal kill, him running in the opposite direction from the Cornucopia, and his final kill. Jerry Anderson isn’t among that.

“C’mon, kid.” Joel says, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Let’s go.”

Ellie nods, following him down the hall to the training rooms. The interior is exactly like the outside, a big metal box made of tile, glass, and concrete. A large circle is formed at the center of the room, all the tributes and their corresponding mentors and escort encircling an athletic man who’s preaching explanations, schedules, and rules for training here. There are stations set all around, an expert in each skill located there, willing to offer help to the tributes. The escorts and mentors all leave once the instructions are finished.

Ellie watches them depart. The crowd of them is plagued with ambivalence; the escorts exude an air of wealth and elegance reserved only for someone raised in the Capitol, whereas the mentors exude strength, honor, and dignity reserved for killers who won past Games via brutality. 

As the doors close behind them, she watches through the cracks as pairs are formed. She sees Joel and Tess begin talking with a blonde woman she recognizes to be Maria Miller — she married into Joel's family by marrying his little brother. Joel doesn’t talk about him much. Abigail and Owen also seem to instantly turn to each other, as do Tilly and Alice. And, before she can see any other duo, the doors close fully. She turns back around to see the rest of the circle has dispersed.

Her instinct is to look for Riley, though she quickly discards that instinct and walks over to an empty station without reading what it’s for. A short, hoary man welcomes her to the plant section. She withholds a sigh, now realizing why it was empty. Everyone else fled to the weapons.

“Plants are much more important that most people realize, you see.” Says the old man, picking up a small bunch of berries. “What does this look like?”

“That’s nightlock.” She says.

“Oh, uh-” The man’s brow furrows.

It’s clear he was expecting her to say ‘Those look like blueberries, I would totally eat them!’ but she didn’t. Ellie hunted in the woods in Seven often enough to know her way around which plants are and aren't edible. She feels bad for the man, as she looks clearly upset. It’s not her fault, though, she hadn’t meant to come over here.

“What are nightlock berries?” Asks a small voice from beside her. Ellie jolts at the sudden presence of another, turning to face the owner of the voice. A small girl with dark skin and coiled hair stands to her side. She’s from Eleven, one of Dina Woodward’s tributes. 

“Oh, I’m glad you asked.” The old man grins. “Nightlock is a wild plant that grows small purple berries below its pointed leaves. They’re extremely poisonous to anyone who eats them. You’d be dead before they even reach your stomach.”

“Woah,” The girl whispers, looking at the pomes with wide eyes. “I never would’ve guessed such little things could cause such big reactions.”

The man chuckles, “Yes, nightlock is not something to underestimate.”

As the two of them fall into a long conversation about plants, Ellie slowly backs away from the scene and exits the station. She knows well enough not to sit at stations she doesn’t need to sit at, doing so would be a waste of everyone’s time. But then again, perhaps it was a good thing. Everyone is learning, yes, but they’re also watching. She feels the careers’ eyes pinned to her as she exits the plant station. Everyone is observing everyone, learning their weaknesses and strengths.

For Ellie to walk into the plant section first, they’ll assume she knows nothing about it. They’ll underestimate her. And, much like the poisoned berries, it’s a foolish thing to do. An idea pops into her head as she walks over to the archery section.

A few other people are there, she counts three. Henry from Three, showing his little brother how to aim an arrow at a target; Ariadne from Five, who’s hitting the bullseye each time; and the other little kid from Eleven, whose name Ellie doesn’t know, attempting to hold the bow with both hands. See, just from gazing across the space, she’s gathered enough information to be considered valuable. Ariadne Evans is a beast with a bow, Henry will likely be trying to teach Sam to use every weapon possible, and the little Eleven boy is horrible at long range.

Ellie walks over to the table, grabs a bow and quiver, then positions herself in front of one of the targets. The instructor offers assistance, though she refuses it easily. She feels a pair of eyes on her, though she doesn’t dare turn around. Every instinct in her body screams to hit the bullseye, to show off. But that’d be useless. Then her strengths would be revealed.

She positions the bow in her hand, holding it out a bit crookedly. She places the arrow on the string, purposely messing up a few times. Then, with both eyes open and her back slightly hunched, she releases the arrow. It clatters against the floor and Ellie huffs, feigning annoyance. She does this three more times before setting the bow and quiver on the table and storming off, appearing to have given up on archery.

As she leaves the station, she does a quick assessment. Three people had been watching her. Nolan Barlowe from Ten — the buff guy who looked overjoyed to have been Reaped. Thalia Thatcher from One — the younger sister of the 68th victor. And, finally, you. The literal best people to have put an impression on. You three are the most threatening. If she’s underestimated, all the better.

You’re leaned against the wall, arms crossed as you observe everyone with sharp eyes. She fights a smile at the sight. You look the polar opposite of who she’d smoked with last night. Your gaze remains steady as you eye her from across the room. 

Right. You’re not supposed to know each other aside from brief passing. 

She is amused by your technique, though it’s the single most cockiest thing she’d ever seen. You’re not training with everyone else, instead opting to watch as though you’re superior. It exudes the idea that you don’t need to train, which Ellie assumes is the case. 

She walks over to another station, struggling to ignore the way your eyes follow her every move. The station happens to be spear throwing — which won’t be hard for her to suck at because she does suck at it. Throwing the overlarge stick over her head and hitting a target? Yeah, it’s not exactly something she practices back in Seven. There’s no need to spear while hunting as it just damages the meat. Had there been any bodies of water in her District, which there’s not, she’d perhaps have learned it through fishing. 

She vaguely wonders if you’re good with a spear, being from Four and all. She then recalls what you’d said about not being in the ocean much. God, it pisses her off how secretive you are. There’s a fifty-fifty chance that you know how to spear. You’ve clearly trained a lot, so you’ve likely practiced with it. But also, she knows you went to the ocean sparingly.

Two other people are at the spear station — Nolan Barlowe, and an old man she doesn’t recognize at all. She doesn’t even remember him being Reaped. Oh. He must be from Twelve because she hadn’t watched their program when it aired.

He watches her with a glint of something unreadable in his eye. It makes her stomach churn as she grabs a spear.

There are human-shaped mannequins against the wall for tributes to practice hitting. Nolan sees Ellie and scoffs under his breath. At first, it irritates her. But then she remembers this is her plan: look weak and be underestimated. She sighs, feigning recluse toward his show of disregard. He keeps his eyes locked on hers as he throws the spear without looking, the blade wedging right between the mannequin’s eyes. She swallows, this time not needing to feign her unease. I mean, seriously, who practices with a spear in their freetime?

Ellie shifts as the two men practice on either side of her. She adjusts the spear in her grasp, dramatizing her oblivion. 

Do I hold it with one or two hands? She thinks to herself. The fuck do I do with my elbows? 

With a grunt, she throws the spear at the target. She shocks herself when the blade wedges in the mannequin’s heart. She’d fully expected to miss. Nolan’s brows furrow in curiosity. Ellie grabs another spear, desperately needing to undo what she’d just done. She holds it the same way as before, muttering under her breath to remember how exactly she’d done it. She then tosses it halfheartedly, the spear landing three feet in front of the mannequin. She frowns and Nolan chuckles.

“I knew it was just beginner’s luck.” He says with a scoff, causing the man from Twelve to chuckle. Ellie sighs, fighting the urge to argue with him. Instead, she scowls at them both as though she’s terribly offended, then storms off. 

The next hour in the training rooms is spent doing the same thing. Sometimes, she actually feels like she could get the hang of some weapons. She finds herself quite enjoying small throwing knives, though she purposely drops them when she notices herself getting better with them. She also, shockingly enough, is good at just straight up hitting things. She’d used a crowbar as a weapon and scared the trainer, who was forced to take a few steps back to avoid being injured.

She’s noticed other tributes’ traits as well. Nolan hasn’t left the spear station, so it’s likely he’s only good at one thing. After half an hour in the archery section, Ariadne left to practice with a mace. And, terrifying as she is, she’s even better at that than with a bow, swinging it around like it weighs nothing. Ellie was also proven correct when she watched Henry escort Sam to each station, instructing him on how to use every weapon. Lev and Yara are both scary with a bow as well, having even better aim than Ellie herself. The couple, Roland and Archie, don’t dare stray a foot from one another, bound together at the hip. She’s also noticed that Riley has been trying different stations, though she’s careful not to be near the one Ellie is currently at. She’s stayed away from the axes, not daring to show off her skill with them just yet.

Ellie is walking over to the fire-making station when she feels a tap on her shoulder. She whips around to see you standing behind her, finally having peeled away from your wall. Your gaze is steady as you watch her, looking every bit the threat you are.

“I need a partner at the combat station.” You tell her easily, casually. As though you’d never spoken before. Ellie gets flashbacks to doing this exact same act with Cat at the Remake Center. It makes her chest cave.

“And I’m your first choice?” She asks.

Everyone’s eyes are pinned to the two of you, though Ellie knows they’re far more interested in you than her. You haven’t left your wall for the entire hour of training, watching everyone with such closeness that there’s a heavy weight in the air. You’ve done naught but observe. It’s truly no shock that they all find it impossible to look away.

“Yes.” You say easily, your voice deceptively smooth.

She narrows her eyes, desperately trying to read what you’re thinking. Is it not foolish to be talking at all? She’d thought you two came to a silent agreement that speaking would give away your recent rendezvous. She continues to stare at you. But you’re a closed book, thoughts cryptic. But then you tilt your head at her, inclining her to reply.

Ellie shrugs, “Why not?”

With a threateningly alluring grin, you begin walking toward the large mats set to the side of the room. Ellie trails behind you. Nobody has used the mats yet, leaving the instructor to be sleeping in her chair. You kick off your shoes before stepping up to the ring. Ellie unlaces hers, taking a few moments longer than you did.

She’s still clueless on your logistics to this, to training with her. You’re the most feared. The tactic of refusing to show your strengths was honestly the smartest thing you could have done in your position, in spite of the clear show of pride. If you were to train with someone, it’d make best sense if you were to do so with your fellow tribute, though Remy is too small to fairly practice hand-to-hand with. Or you could train with the second strongest tribute present, which would either be Nolan or Ariadne. Or, possibly, the weakest, which would be– Oh. Well, shit. It’s Ellie. Perhaps she took her strategy too seriously. Yes, the children from Eleven are weaker than she is, but it’d be unfair for you to beat them up. Ellie is a year older than you and thereby your best option.

“No damage to the face.” You tell her as she pulls herself up onto the mat.

She looks around. A crowd has formed around the ring, everyone yearning to see you in action. Ellie feels a sense of pride at knowing she’s the one who gets to fight you. She turns to face you, realizing she has two options. She could keep up her weak facade, causing everyone to continue to underestimate her so she can easily sneak up in the arena — which is the wiser of the two. Or she can reveal that she’s not the useless girl she’s pretending to be — which is more satisfying. 

Ellie squares her shoulders, already coming to a decision. Fuck, her dignity will be the death of her.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” She replies.

You chuckle, bouncing on the balls of your feet. “Good to hear.”

Ellie holds up her fists, not at all knowing how to approach this. Are you a tackler or..? She knows that Marlene likes to keep her distance, dodging more than she punches. She knows that Riley uses her legs more than most people, sweeping or kicking her opponent. But you’re a mystery to her, to everyone. Do you rely on offense or defense more heavily? She knows Marlene uses–

Her thoughts are cut off by a blow to her gut. Ellie hunches over, not having even noticed you moving in on her. She’s quick to recover, though her stomach aches from your punch. 

The crowd remains silent as you two begin to circle each other, holding their breaths in anticipation. 

She watches you, taking in the way you step and the way your fists are idly positioned in front of you. But you’re giving no signs toward your next move, completely closed off. She decides to make the move this time, aiming for your jaw despite her agreement of ‘No damage to the face’. You evade her easily, light on your feet as you back out of her reach. 

Ellie comes forward, attacking again. She’s fast. Fast enough that you’re unable to dodge her fist to your ribs. Breath is forced from your lungs at the impact. Ellie is momentarily proud of herself. But that's before she realizes all she managed to do was rile you up.

Your leg collides with her side before she registers the movement. The same side that you’d punched in the beginning. While she’s still catching her breath, you grab her by the arm and twist it around her back. She grunts at the ache in her shoulder. 

Your lips caress the shell of her ear as you whisper, “I knew you were a good pick.” before then shoving her hard in the back, sending her stumbling forward.

She’s quick to spin around to face you. It pisses her off to see that you appear unmoved, standing in the same spot as before without so much as a hair out of place. You move with fluidity, like a dance. More than that, you’re calculative. You already know Ellie’s style. 

You close in on her, reeling your arm back and aiming for the face. Apparently, you’ve both abandoned the agreement. Ellie ducks under your fist, taking advantage of your unprotected stomach, punching you hard in the gut. Exactly where you’d hit her. It’s childish, but it makes her feel a sense of satisfaction as you buckle over.

The satisfaction is short lived as your ankle is suddenly coming at her face. She twists, grabbing you by the calf and using her own leg to sweep you off your feet. Your back slams against the mat. Hard. Ellie stands over you with a shit eating grin.  

“Still think I’m a good pick?” She asks, crouching to taunt you. You’re splayed across the mat, chest heaving. Sweat clings to your hairline, your lips parted. Ellie’s stomach flips at the sight, though she’s careful not to show it.

A smirk tugs at your lips, “I knew you weren’t weak.”

“Is that why you chose me?” She chuckles. “To prove to yourself that–”

She's cut off when both your feet fly into her stomach. She coughs, staggering backward as you hop to your feet. You’re instantly on her, hands on her shoulders before you drive your knee into her gut. Once. Twice. Three times before Ellie notices your face has been left unguarded by your busy hands. Her fist collides with your jaw. Your head snaps to the side. She’s quick to use your momentary shock to her advantage, tackling you to the ground.

You slam against the mat, on your back once more. This time, she’s wise enough to hold you down. Ellie’s knees are on either side of your torso as she pins your wrists above your head. You pant heavily as she grins down at you. You scowl up at her, brows contorted into a furrow. But then, all at once, your expression does a 180 and you’re smirking with just as much titillation as she. You squirm under her, causing Ellie’s grip to tighten on your wrists.

“Y’know,” You say through heavy breaths of exertion, “If it weren’t for our current situation, this could be a rather fun position.”

Ellie’s face flushes, her eyes widening. Her focus slips and your grin widens. Unbeknownst to her, that was your only intention — to get her to slip up, to be taken aback just long enough for you to change the game. You buck your hips hard enough to roll her over. You straddle her waist as Ellie pants beneath you, glaring. 

“That wasn’t fair.” She says.

“It worked, though, did it not?” You point out with a grin. She groans, tipping her head back against the mat in defeat. She can feel every movement you make, your bodies close enough together that she’s sure you could count the freckles on her face, if you so desired. “What’s your next plan, Williams?”

“I’m thinking.” She grunts. “I could headbutt you, but that’d damage your face.”

“Oh, so now you care about that.”

“I don’t want your stylist killing me in my sleep.” 

“Ah, she’s far too kind for that.”

“Is she?” 

Ellie thinks of Cat, wondering what she’d make of this. Do you have a similar relationship with your stylist? She doubts it. What she and Cat have is highly illegal and could result in both of them being turned to Avoxes if they were ever found out. You’re far too reputable to risk such a thing. But then again, most stylists barely even talk to their tributes. 

She wonders, wonders, and wonders when it comes to you. A mystery, you are. An enigmatic book so foreign to her she’s unsure where to even begin to read you. The words blur and the page numbers shuffle, forming an unintelligible story left unread by all. 

“What an odd tone, that was.” You say. Ellie hopes you’re unwise enough to not recognize it as jealousy. To imagine you with your stylist as she was with hers is a sight she wishes to remain as such an enigma.

“I yield.” Ellie says, cutting the conversation short via surrender.

The crowd hums with conversation. Everyone knew you would win anyway, though they’re shocked at the fight Ellie was willing to put up against you. They disperse as you climb to your feet, offering Ellie your hand. She takes it, standing.

She briefly catches the sight of Riley’s face as she’s pulled up. Scowling, condescending. Not at all an expression one would reserve for their lifelong best friend. It makes her stomach twist and she quickly releases your hand. You don’t seem to think much of it, walking over to put your shoes back on. She does the same. 

And with that, you part ways as strangers. Which, with or without the rooftop acquaintance taken into consideration, is technically true.

21:37.

TRAINING CENTER, FLOOR 4.

“Did I or did I not say to avoid any type of combat?” Ruben asks, trying desperately to keep his tone level as he reprimands you for the bruise on your jaw. The moment you walked into the suite, he rushed to freak out over it whilst Alice gaped dramatically.

“I won.” You argue back, scowling at them both. “Plus, it’s not like I was hiding some big secret. They all know I can fight.”

“Yeah, well now they know your technique.” He says, pinching his nose in annoyance. “They know what you’d do in certain situations. They know if you prefer offense or defense, if you use your upper or lower body more, if you–”

“I get it.” You butt in, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Do you? Because it doesn't seem like you do.” Ruben snaps. 

He’s been, frankly, acting odd all day. You wonder if it has something to do with last night’s dinner. You want to ask about it, sitting at the foot of his bed with bright eyes as he speaks about his issues. But you can’t do that, no longer on that level of relation with him. 

You frown at him, fists clenching at your sides. “You’re not my fucking parent. I’m an adult and can handle the Games how I damn well please.”

“Well if you die, that’s on me. That’s my guilt to carry.”

Of fucking course. It only makes sense that he’s only interested in how your death would affect him, how guilty he would feel. Not once does he think of his little sister who would be the dead one, buried six feet under the dirt.

“Great. Then you add my death to your fucking sob story.” You seethe. “Cry about it to your Capitol friends, maybe they’ll make you some new drugs.”

Ruben opens and closes his mouth a few times. His eyes are wide, clearly offended by your comment. A mixture of satisfaction and repent swirls within your gut, creating a recipe for cataclysm. You know this’ll end one of two ways — you and Ruben will get into a screaming match, taking after your parents in all the worst ways, or one of you’ll storm off and subsequently not talk for a long time. Both options result in misery, so you allow Ruben to make the choice.

Alice’s jaw is hanging open, resembling some sort of a fish gasping for air. She appears absolutely appalled by your audacity to insult Ruben in such a way. It takes everything in you not to wipe that expression clean off her face.

“You say some really fucked up shit when you’re mad.” Ruben says, voice quiet. “Y’know who else used to do that?”

You say nothing, already knowing his answer. You hope your lack of indulgence will prevent him from saying the name, but it doesn’t. He speaks it nonetheless, spit with such venom that your jaw twitches.

“Your father.”

Something deep in your chest yearns to lash out again, to bear your words like daggers ready to slice him open with their cruelty. It’s an insatiable, carnal desire that’s followed you all your life, looming over you like a shadow. Anger is so quick to wrap his hands around your throat, so hasty in pulling the strings like a sadistic puppeteer. You only now register that it’s not Anger causing this, it’s you. The blood in your veins and the nitrogenous bases in your DNA that tether you to your father. There’s nobody, nothing else to inculpate aside from your own heritage.

You crave the sweet release of shouting at him, imagining the hurt look on his face. Despite knowing the satisfaction won’t last long before guilt replaces it, you still want it. To inevitably hurt the ones you love, what a curse that is.

As said, there are two options from here and you take the latter. With a heavy huff of anger and a clenched jaw, you turn on your heel and storm out of the suite. You’re on the rooftop before you’re even able to register how you’d gotten there.

You were supposed to be here half an hour ago, having promised Ellie to meet at the same time as last night. You desperately hope she hasn’t left yet, for you really want a cigarette.

“Look who finally showed up.” her voice is heard before her form is seen. You turn toward it to see Ellie leaned against the railing opposite of the one you’d occupied the night prior. Fair skin and freckles dance under the silver moonlight cast upon them, auburn hair a flame against the darkness.

She already has it lit between her fingers and you refrain from lunging toward it. 

You wave off her comment, walking toward her.“Yeah something came up.”

“Such as?”

“A desperate need for some food.” You lie. “Didn’t mean to take so long, Capitol meals are just too good to turn down.”

Ellie chuckles, mindlessly passing you the cig. You take it, placing it in your mouth with an animalistic hunger that only causes her laughter to grow laced with amusement. The smoke fills your lungs and clouds your head, a momentary sense of tranquility washing over you. It causes the sting from Ruben’s words to not burn so much, easing the wound he’d left like intangible ointment.

You begrudgingly pass it back to Ellie, staring at her as she inhales. There aren’t any bruises on her face, which is rather unfair as you’re certain you got a lot of punches in. Well, you suppose they were mostly aimed at her stomach and ribs. Shame.

“Why’d you choose me?” She says into the chilled night air, breath fogged. It takes you a moment to realize what exactly she’s referring to.

“As a combat partner?”

“Yeah,” She confirms, “If you wanted strong, you could’ve asked Nolan or Ariadne. If you wanted weak, you could have asked Selene or Elliot.”

“I didn’t want them, though. I wanted you.”

Her mouth twitches at this, though she simply speaks, “But why?” “Because I knew your frailty was an act.” You shrug, swiping the cig from her. “You’re a good actor, a great one even. But I know what it looks like to enjoy something. And you really enjoyed that archery station. The spear and the crowbar too, just not as much. And, oh, how could I forget your cute little plant section?”

“Okay, stalker.” She huffs as you laugh. 

“I was watching everyone, Ellie. Don’t feel too special.”

“Awh,” She feigns a pout, “I was just beginning to.”

It’s comfortable here, on a roof of solace. It’s like a secret oasis shielded away from the rest of the world, obtained only by the two of you. It’s nice, perhaps too nice. You’ve formed a bad habit of distrusting things when they grow too good to believe. As you pass the cigarette back to Ellie, your mind comes up with countless scenarios of how this could end — you get caught, cast out of the games, and turned into tongueless Avoxes; or maybe you don’t get caught, become good friends, then you’re forced to kill her in the arena. No matter how this goes, the ending is the same. Inevitable loss of comfort. 

Ellie remains silent beside you, comfortable in the lack of conversation. She overlooks the city, the lights reflecting within her viridescent eyes. You imagine the way the light will leave them in the arena. Because, amid the infinite scenarios in your mind, there’s not a single one that entails you losing the games. Whether you’re the one to take Ellie’s life or not, she won’t live.

“Where’d you learn to fight?” You ask, desirous for an off-switch to your thoughts.

Ellie’s eyes remain on the scene below as she responds. “The higher Districts might train for the games, but the lower ones are taught to defend themselves.”

“From what?”

“Anything?” She shrugs. “Everything.”

You hadn’t thought of it that way, as an act of defense. Of course you’re aware that’s what fighting is for. But you were raised into thinking it was a fact of life — you’d been expected to know how to take an enemy down at the age of seven. You were trained to fight with Ruben before you used the holograms. 

“Well who was your practice partner?” You ask. “Back in seven.”

You hadn’t thought much of the question, though it causes Ellie’s expression to falter. Her lips tighten as she passes you the cigarette. “It was interchangeable between my caretaker and Riley.”

Oh. Okay yeah, that was your fault. You’d completely forgotten about her stifled relationship with her best friend. Guilt traces up your spine. You want to ask what she means by caretaker, but you decide against prying for more information. 

Although she’s good at hiding it, Ellie’s expression is rather dejected. At the sight, you feel the need to offer a fair trade. To give her information about yourself that’s not so easy.

“Mine was my brother.” You say softly, turning toward the city before inhaling the smoke. It’s her turn to stare at you while you observe the city. Her eyes bore into the side of your face and you fight the urge to look at their greenery.

“Are you guys, uh,” She trails off, sounding unsure on how to approach this. “What’s your relationship like? Currently, I mean. You— well, I know you used to be close because you said he took you to the ocean as a kid. And, uh,” 

Her rambling makes you laugh, lightening the ache in your chest.

“We’re not so close anymore.” You admit, passing. Her brows furrow, clearly wanting to ask more. You appreciate her forbearing from doing so, though you know she deserves honesty. If you wish to pry as much as you do, you can’t expect to not return such an endeavour. In a much quieter voice, you speak, “He wasn’t the same after his Games.”

Ellie frowns, “I wouldn’t expect anyone to be, considering what the tributes are put through.”

“Yeah,” You sigh, “It was just, really bad.”

She nods in understanding, though you know she doesn’t exactly have many details. “I’ve lost people too.”

“Really?”

“I mean, I was a baby but yeah.” She says, quick to undermine her own losses in comparison to yours. It’s endearing. “Both my parents passed when I was an infant. I was raised by my mom’s best friend, Marlene. She’s cool and all but– Well, she’s not my mom. And she makes no effort to act as one.”

You’re quick to recall Ellie referring to Marlene as her caretaker. Well, now you know why.

Ellie turns, looking out at the horizon. Her face is illuminated by the moonlight, smoothing her skin and shining her hair. She breathes out a cloud of smoke, clouding the cool air.

You’re not sure what to say, unused to having people confide in you. Are you supposed to tell her more about yourself as to relate to what she’s saying? Or would that be self-centered? Just as you’re about to spew out a random response, Ellie speaks up, swiftly changing the topic. Thankfully.

“I don’t tell many people emotional shit like that.” She admits. “But, for some reason, that’s all you and I seem to talk about — sentimental crap.” She then turns back to face you, your eyes meeting for a moment. Something passes between you, her gaze sharp but in a watchful way rather than a predatory one. She hands you the cigarette. “Tell me something about you. Something conversational.”

“Like what?” 

“What’s your favorite color? Who’s your biggest inspiration? What’re your hobbies?” She lists off, counting each point on her fingers. 

“I don’t really have hobbies.” You say, huffing a laugh. “Don’t have time for them.”

“That’s impossible, everyone has hobbies.”

You hum as you inhale the smoke, thinking. You truly can’t think of anything. You’re normally too busy with your mother’s training or retrieving game from mister Alden. When you finally think of something, it’s from your past. Long before Ruben left, when you were allowed to be a kid. “I used to enjoy writing poetry when I was younger, though it was no good.”

“See, that’s a great hobby.” Ellie smiles encouragingly, nudging your shoulder. 

“Okay, then. What’s yours?” You redirect, narrowing your eyes at her.

She grins even wider, already knowing her answer. “Hunting, gardening, doodling, painting, reading comic–”

“Painting?” You ask, mildly shocked by this.

“I mean, it’s the one I do the least out of them all, but–” “What do you paint?”

Her brows raise at your sudden interest. “Depends on the day. Sometimes I paint people, though I can never get the proportions right so I only end up pissed at myself by the end. Sometimes I paint abstractly, but I can never figure out what the end result depicts because it’s just a big burst of colors and vague shapes. Ninety percent of the time, they’re landscapes. Of the woods, of the road by my house, of the abandoned mill. Anything, really.”

“Hm, I didn’t really take you as a painter.”

“I’m not, really. I mostly just doodle in my notebook.” She says. “I only paint when I want to create something bigger than the journal’s confines.”

“Is that what you brought with you? Into the arena?”

“No. That would've been a good idea, though.” She shakes her head, clearly disappointed in herself for not having thought of that before you. 

“What’d you bring, then?” You ask. She holds out her hand in response. On her right index finger resides a thick metal ring, shaped as a moth. The creature’s wings wrap around her finger, body thin. It’s so intricate, so detailed. You lean closer to get a better look. “Is it a family heirloom or something?”

“No, uh,” She falters as she decides on how to answer. You straighten, still looking at the ring even after her hands have been dropped back down to her sides. “It’s from a friend.”

“So is mine.” You tell her before reaching up to touch your necklace. Ellie looks at it, eyes tracing the line of your collarbone all the way down to the pearl pendant. She reaches out, fingertips grazing the thin chain. Her hands are cold, causing your breath to hitch. She notices and is quick to pull her hands away, clearing her throat awkwardly.

She turns back toward the Capitol, you do the same. The city is asleep, the lights all turned off in the windows as the streets are naked of vehicles. You wonder if there’s a curfew, though you doubt it. Capitolites rarely have rules.

You imagine yourself living here, residing in an overpriced home that you won’t be charged a penny for. You’d be tended to by a vast quantity of Avoxes, never hearing any of their voices. The home would be yours to keep and yours to design. There’d be blue everywhere, subtle reminders of your life back at Four and the salty ocean that mister Alden would put through each visit on his skiff. The thought sounds nice at first, the luxury of it all. But the finer details — owning people, never seeing the ocean again — those are what get you. Not to mention all the parties you’d have to attend. All Capitolites are made to attend the more prestigious parties, mandatory under President Fedra’s decree. But then another thought crosses your mind. You’d have to win the Games first. To even be pondering on your life after them, you’ll have to survive before all else. The idea sickens you as it never has before. At first, you think it’s because you'll have to kill people, a thought that’s never sat right in regards to your morals. But then, as Ellie passes you the cigarette, the cool metal of her ring brushing your finger, you realize it’s not only that. It’s not the fact that you’ll have to kill people. It’s the fact that you'll have to kill her.

[post] notes!! i'm gonna be so fr, i only edited half of this chapter bc its SO fucking longggg (sorry ab that btw). i normally try to reread & edit as i go, but i seem to have abandoned that process #whoopsies!!

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[gearbox-doll]

Goes insane formal whumpees I finally get to talk about MY MAN (Sebastian Michaelis, protagonist of the manga Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji)

Yes I'm hijacking this to spread propaganda for my fave manga but jesus he's so good to whump

Like look at this!! Look at him getting fucking skewered and trying to keep it together! And then he has to keep fighting! God Campania is so good. I love seeing this man get beat.

Also look at him trying to keep it together for his master even when he's visibly in pain. He cares so much. God. I love it.

Also his master is in fact young (Ciel's like twelve but he's given the agency of an adult for plot reasons) and god it's so great. They're also in love. It's so great. I love them dearly. Ciel taking care of Sebastian has a special place in my heart because it's like, Ciel hates showing that he cares about people but there are moments where you can see clear as day that he does and this would be one of them.

And he used to think Sebastian was invulnerable but now he knows Sebastian can get hurt and he'd be so concerned and worried because he's literally never seen Sebastian so vulnerable before. Especially Sebastian is his butler?? A master personally taking care of their servant would be unheard of especially in the Victorian era (when this takes place). And yet what are we shown in the bonus chapter of Sebastian healing? Ciel going out of his way to work with the other servants to take care of Sebastian, even making him food!

He cares so much. He realizes that he can't bear the thought of losing Sebastian, or even having him injured - beyond just that he'd lose his butler, but because he'd lose Sebastian. It's not about Sebastian being a useful tool, a pawn in Ciel's game of chess, anymore. He actually cares.

Also the rest of the team (The Phantomhive Servants) aren't particularly formal, except Tanaka, but they ARE there and they care so much. Seeing them fret over him is cute. And Sebastian wearing Bard's pjs because he doesn't have any of his own since he doesn't need to sleep XD I love them so much.

I'm also really fond of supposedly invulnerable whumpees and nonhuman whumpees and whumpees that are super strong but just not stronger than whumper, and Sebastian tends to check all those boxes too. He's so fun <3

You are so correct about the line "I don't... feel well"

might I add

"I don't... I don't think I'm quite right."

formal whumpees <<<<< everything

Formal whumpees....... feather you're so right.........

Formal whumpee + informal whumper (dirty basements look so lovely on expensively torn dresswear)

Formal whumpee + informal caretaker ("you can borrow a t-shirt, here." "I'm..... not wearing that.")

Formal whumpee + formal team: ("are you.... sure you're well?" <- my favorite caretaker dialogue in the world)

Formal mentor whumpee + young caretaker: ("It will be alright. I will. I just... I hate to ask for your help like this.")

formal whumpees!!!! FORMAL WHUMPEES!!!!!

[tommygotwrittenoff]

i just think if roles were reversed and buck was the one saying those gay ass lines to eddie, eddie wouldve proposed like four seasons ago

[feelingthedisaster]

okay, being 100% honest, dont pull a josten and lie to me

if exy and all the aftg stuff was real, would you actually like exy? if someone mentioned kevin day/neil josten/etc, would you recognize their names?

and if the answer is yes, would you be a hater, a stan, indiffent?

remember, you cant lie

[valkyurii]

it’s funny how things have gone full circle with malenia. she was so hated when the game first came out, but then people grew to like her. then the dlc came out and now people hate her again lmao

[jils-things]

what if we were in a zombie apocalypse but we fell in love and piss nick the fuck out

[pinkfey]

i have no friends who care about me because my personality is boring and understimulating and i have no selling point as a friend and i am being left behind

[thetisming]

im actually really worried that im not that interested in &j anymore like ivd been having a hard time writing about it and talking about it online and i mean i talk about it a lot irl but idk like people have been knowing more than me and im starting to feel so incredibly inferior that it's hard for me to enjoy it

[scalpelsister]

what if i lost the will to live like. as a joke. what then.

[girlivealwaysbean]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

[andragoras-in-vanity]

im sure ive alrwady said this but veilgaurd called me a bottom in evedy language, most strongly elvhen tho. i cannot stop thinking about elgar'nans lil spiel to the venatori saying 'all you must do is love me, and kneel' like bruh......if rook wasnt so spiteful they probably would have...just to see where he was going with that....

[no1ryomafan]

I’m always in and out of mega man circles and lore is a subject I’ve come to loathe sometimes as I enjoy the lore in this series but the gatekeeping was unreal over a series that didn’t have anything planned out-like most old video games trying to establish lore-so alterations to canon should be acceptable next to “aus exist for a reason” but maybe it’s just cause the fandom as is doesn’t like/give star force a chance, I wish low key people would be more accepting of the idea of “turning the FM-Ians into robots akin to the Stardroids” because that would be such a raw concept for them to still exist in the robot timeline but as more space alien robots we never saw but I know people would get hissy at this idea not being “canon” when this doesn’t invalidate the network timeline, it’s just saying “what if these aliens both coexist” (cause I also fuck with the stardroids also being FM-Ians or space Navis if duo.exe can exist, but I feel like someone would’ve done that by now but definitely hasn’t done this idea)