#i dont get why people are so unhappy with it
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I think what makes it parricularly angsty particularly when youre young, is that you dont always know who you are, or who you want to be, or how to get there.
Part 1. Pay attention to what you like. Notice whrn something makes you happy or excited or determined v anxious, unhappy, bored, antsy. Now do more of the things that you enjoy. This can include hard things you want to improve at, thags why I included determined. Mastery of skills isnt easy breezy kind of fun but it is very important positive feelings.
2. Who you want to ve and how to get there. Think about your values. Whats important to you. Do you act like thats whats important to you? What would that look like? Forget social norms a minute and picture it. Maybe it means standing up for people being bullied. Maybe it means standing up for yourself and being honest qbout what you like and owning it. Yeah I watch anime, can I introduce to some? Ok thats chill, your loss, im gonna keep doing me. Maybe it means looking after siblings while everyone else is hanging out, naybe it means making time for friends even though youre swamped with work. Who do you admire and what do you admire about them? What chpices do they make that gets them there? What do they do tbat you dont want to emulate? Pick and choose what works for you, dont try become exactly some other person. Mayne theyre super dedicated to exercise and train on weekends ans you wanna do that, but theyre also kinda rude and you dont wanna talk that way.
Tldr You get to build yourself, and listen to yourself, and thats pretty much how to be confident: like yourself so much that your self love is stronger than anyobe elses disapproval. Like yourself by doing things you enjiy and working towards living in line with your goals and values. Make decisions so that you'll be proud of yourself.
Take advice ofc and feedback, but always run it back through "does this feel right to me? Does it make sense to me? Do I want to be the type of person who does this?". Doesnt matter if its drugs or going for a run at 5am or signing up to a class or volunteering to pick up garbage or going on holiday overseas or hang gliding super high up. Do you want to be a person who does that? Does it seem like a good idea? Would you feel proud of yourself after?
(You also dont have to tell other people, it can be private; I dont really believe in guilty pleasures. If Im prous of myself and I know some ppl will makw fun of me, I just dont tell them. Not bc im embarassed but bc I dont feel like being harassed. You get the difference?)
It’s crazy and fucked up that being yourself is actually the solution.
#tired ramblings yet gopwfully true ramblings nevertheless#i do this especally when im tired and im done feeling embarqssed about it#i dont think wanting to help people is a bad instinct#even if i get really rambly qbout it when no one asked me.#its just who i am for whatever reason qnd as chqracter traits go its not a bad one#as long a si stay in my land and dont tell otger pwople wgat they must do#im suggwsting. saying what worms for me#worms!#clunsy spwllibg#okokoo im going geez#comment
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im sure ive alrwady said this but veilgaurd called me a bottom in evedy language, most strongly elvhen tho. i cannot stop thinking about elgar'nans lil spiel to the venatori saying 'all you must do is love me, and kneel' like bruh......if rook wasnt so spiteful they probably would have...just to see where he was going with that....
#im afraid of a lot as i get to the end of the game but technical things like the skill tree and subclasses aside#i dont get why people are so unhappy with it#maybe im biased cause i always play an elf but i fucking LOVE learning about elvhen history and how we shaped thedas#and then it all went to shit and our gods hated us and used tevinter to make the world worse#i highly doubt this is the last da game the series is too popular and adding that we can be trans now is a massive improvement#even if i think the lighthouse should have been more like skyhold and let us talk to companions more#and craft the armor ourselves#and ngl i think the lighthouse should have been more of a refuge for those that survived the gods attacks#like anyone from arlathen/dmeta or hossberg#idk im really only bad about the skill tree and subclasses and lack of bards tbh#but truely......the lucanis almost kiss???? everything about being a mourn watcher??? my SHATHANN CALLING ME A TWINK#this game called me a slur#and just the fucking appearance of my lil rook....he looked so blissed when under elgar'nans trance#bellara and neve were so done with my shit there 😭#i do want to play a dwarf really badly next time#or qunari because the games have built a really interesting cuture for them but never really went strongly into it other than like#the arishok and the antaam? but now they mention the devouring storm and thats probably a fuckass big dragon#but now i need to know more#im not done but veilguard very much isnt the conclusion#but my god i cant stop thinking about how vulnerable my rook actually is like from the personality ive given him from myself#if the gods or like anaris found him before varric did.....this would be a very different story and there would be a lot of tears and#begging for a shot at redemption and care#oh god wed disappoint vorgoth......might as well just kill myself if that ever happened#i just love that my rook has become more senstive as ive played and more hurt when he was already not doing so hot for personal reasons#he still has a smart mouth but he wants to cry like 9/10 times he has to make decisions#companions stop asking me to shape their lives challenges#ngl rook would absolutely stsrt bawling his eyes out over manfred begging emmerichs forgivness for wanting manfred back#i just imagine tears coming down his face as he tells emmerich manfred was a hero and he deserves another chance to keep learning so that#next time he does soemthing heroic...hes prepared and wont 'die' by doing it#cause my lil guy knows hes not smart enough to bring manfred back himself
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killing people who don’t get an animals consent before touching them &/or ignore when animals are visibly uncomfortable with being touched.
#MOTHERS FRIEND DOING THIS WITH OUR CAT RN IM PISSED.#SHE DIDNT EVEN GIVE TOFU ANY TIME TO SNIFF OR ANYTHING??#Sigh.#tofu came downstairs to see what was up bc person was in the house#But person just immediately started petting her#even tho tofu was visibly uncomfortable and clearly just wanted a sniff test or sm#went to my room asap after that and tofu followed quick on my heels#obvs I let her sniff as much as she wants before petting her (if she even wants fuss) so she had a sniff and very much seemed to want fuss#so I gave her a few strokes and then sorta checked in and she swirled around and bumped her head into my hand (all the while her tail was#pointed straight up with the tip quivering a little every few moments - a sign of happiness/excitement to see a familiar person)#so we had cuddles for a bit until she hopped off my chest to go get water or sm :3#BUT I DONT GET WHY MORE PEOPLE DONT HAVE SIMPLE WHOLESOME INTERACTION WITH THEIR CAT LIKE THIS??#LIKE. CATS ARE SENTIENT. THEY SEEK AUTONOMY - ESPECIALLY BODILY AUTONOMY. WHY TF WOULD YOU NOT LET THEM GIVE/DENY CONSENT??#like. if you aren’t willing to learn enough about an animal to understand when it’s unhappy at the very least *why* would you interact with#one?? (This person literally has a cat as well.)#idk man these are the same sorts of people that’d probably do the ‘awww just give me a hug! I’m your auntie(/whatever)! why can’t i have a#hug? 🥺’ sorta thing.. like. BRO. It isn’t my/the cat ‘s fucking job to regulate/look after your own grown ass feelings.#SIGH..#just. The fact this person has like.. met tofu once. Lived in the same house as her for maybe 4/5 days one time and thinks the cat is#obligated to put up with her or whatever.#(This is how I imagine people be acting around cats when they’re like ‘idk man cats just don’t like me! Cats are just independent by nature#I’m just stood there having to listen to them shit talk a whole species bc they don’t understand consent (or at least don’t universally#value it - eg; with children; with animals) ANYWAYS. CATS ARE A SOCIAL SPECIES WHO HAVE DEVELOPED TO LIVE CLOSELY WITH AND DEPEND ON HUMANS#THEYRE OFTEN VERY AFFECTIONATE AND LOVING AND FORM LASTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR HUMANS AND WILL MOURN THEIR DEATH PROBABLY MORE THAN#HALF OF THE HUMANS WHO ATTENDED THEIR FUNERAL.)#If tofu doesn’t like you I don’t like you mate. I am wholeheartedly willing to cut people off if they act wrong with my cat - like - BRO.#IVE KNOWN HER LONGER THAN I HAVE MOST OTHER PPL IN MY LIFE. SHES GOT ME THROUGH WORSE AND IS ALWAYS HAPPY N EXCITED TO SEE ME.#That cat has done more for me than you ever have! She loves me with her whole fucking soul and I her with mine. If she picks up the wrong#vibes from you/you break any of her clearly set boundaries we are DONE.#(Obvs /nbh - nobody here. & generally lighthearted but uhh yeah needed to rant abt this bc I care strongly abt it and other ppl should too)
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Reading shit comics kind of sucks but at least I get the satisfaction of proving my own point w this
#like damn if i really was 100% right about this before i even knew what i was talking about#anyways one of the many many problems with new 52 wonder woman is the fact that diana isnt religious enough#also that azzarello and chiang are incapable of imagining a feminist utopia which is the original genre that wonder woman comics were based#in in the same way that batman for example is connected to the noir genre. and the mythological aspects of the og wonder woman comics were#in fact a common framing aspect of the feminist utopia genre of the progressive era (with many of the deeper greek mythology aspects being#established as the foremost ww genre later on)#anyways this failure to understand this layering of genres in the ww mythology i believe is the principle contributor of why this run which#is popular with many and has such a footprint in other more mainstream media is hated by so many longtime wonder woman fans in that it not#only neglects but actively goes against key parts of her premise#a comparison could be made to a superman run that is heavily based in science fiction and exploring deep sci fi genre plots without any#understanding by the creators of why it matters that superman is champion of the oppressed and disrespecting that core part of him by in#some ways making him actually go against that in service of the high sci fi genre plots and conflict#and then ofc to translate better in this reality this run would function like a can of worms in that while dc in comics would eventually#course correct back to the base version the public opinion would become divided and especially adaptations would need all the canon changes#from that run torn viciously out of their hands bc they refuse to LET IT GO#anyways yeah teehee i swore to someone id never read it but i needed it for fic research purposes unfortunately so i started it. only read 6#issues but meh. first one wasnt terrible tbh id read worse but after that i got much more unhappy#anyways they simply dont understand why people like the amazons or why people should like the amazons. which again is like half the freaking#point bc like. feminist utopia genre. but i digress#its bad but its bad in a way that proves me right about why its bad so at least theres that#someday when i post my rebirth ww fic ill post the analysis of nu52 ww and the comparison to the beat movement/ginsberg that ive got in my#drafts. finally get that A in comic book literary analysis#blah
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currently spinning an "it's a wonderful life" style 'ted, at his lowest and least confident, sees what would have happened if he never came to richmond' au in my brain that i'll never write
#or if he'd never been born at all but like im mostly just thinking about like#seeing the direct change in all the people he's grown to love#like. shit like rebecca getting more and more angry and cruel and ending up self destructing bc of it#jamie getting worse and more isolated and in pain#roy not working on ANY of his shit#and like. trent. god trent. retreating ever further into his shell#possibly still married to a woman and deeply deeply unhappy and isolating himself#etc etc like ted getting concrete evidence of all the good hes done of how he has actively made the lives of everyone around him better#and like ted losing confidence in himself--he was sent here to destroy the team and hes destroying so much--and then seeing this ??? ough#idk im just rotating it in my brain#like i dont have a concrete idea of what that woudl actually look like#hence why i probably wont write it but. ough#ted lasso tv#ted lasso
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Remaining positive but the suicidal ideation is hitting
#ive gotta be up in like 6 hours and ive being awake crying for the last2#i am so genuinely unhappy in a way that seems so unfixable that i dont know what to do#idk i just didn't see myself in my 20s still dealing with the same shit i did as a teenager why am i still cutting myself#and why do i still find it nect to impossible to make friends or even talk in a way that makes sense to people#it sounds so depressing but i just feel like im done watching life from the outset but the only door is offing myself#anyway sorry for posting this i just find comfort in it#im probably gonna try abd get some sleep now also sorry if any of this is cry typiing#isaac.txt#self harm tw#suicide tw
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So now I've made a very good placement system that this guy who is INCREDIBLE at coding does a tutorial for and I made my own lil twist on it and it feels GREAT I love placing my lil boards and I only have one thing I can place so far! I'm not even much of a builder but this makes me want to build!!
#this makes me realise that there should be incentive to put a roof over people's heads. so if it rains people get unhappy#i know im sinking away further and further into being a person i dont want to be but#incant help it#so i just learn metatables and make a building sytstem and think about how cool a game could be#i didnt even continue my cat game but eh whatever. i now understand most aspects of lua though i cant necessarily build with them all yetofc#i think i can out lua(intermediate) on my resume#haha#i want to build. and having a small plot makes me want more plot#so that part of the gameloop works#ha.#are minigames really a good idea? dont know#i mean. why not. we'll see anyway#my stuff#personal
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why does god toy with me in such a way
#“most emetophobes rarely ever vomit” yeah cool . why must every day be lived in fear#i know i shouldnt be throwing a pity party for myself try to blame it on something whatever but i am just unhappy and have been unhappy for#like. 3 months#my ocd and emetophobia have gotten so much worse as of late . i was doing so good during the summer#i went places i hung out with people i went to a whole different state!!#last time i did that it was right before my emetophobia got the worst it ever was in 6th grade#i wasnt even that scared at first#but then i had the whole tgi fridays mozzerella sticks incident#then the tick and the crab#then the departure#yap yap whatever#just like. what happened#well i know what happen i was very vulnerable and scared cuz school started and that was the perfect time for my emetophobia and ocd to get#worse . cuz i was so scared . and ive just been listening to it all cuz i dont wanna be scared cuz how am i gonna live#either i deal with my emetophobia and be scared or i try my best to soothe myself andi go to school. one of these im legally required to do#CHRISTMAS BREAK CANNOT COME FAST ENOUGH
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I never posted the other guys oops (Marin is still amazing)
Whenever she wants to talk to him, she must start with "Ren" and he always interrupts with a "Rin" to balance it. That's just how they have to talk it's fine.
Marin is just the town's cat. She can be found lounging about in the sun and knocking stuff off of roofs (it's not her fault if you put stuff that high up). She arrived in the town on her second life and then just. Opted to never leave. She gives a lot of people nicknames (such as Ren is Renke to everyone else and he will throw a punch if anyone else tries calling him Ren)... and despite her willingness to help people, she is very respectful of secrets. If she sees things she shouldn't "know" then that's fine, she won't tell anyone. So everyone in town lets her do whatever and wherever she wants.
#so i found this amnesiac corpse#renke is sent to take care of someone and when he gets to the designated location he just finds this dude#who doesnt remember anything so renke is like mmmm ok cool well this sucks lets get you back to society#and then the two meet up with marin whohas no idea who the dead guy is and shes watching him and has to ask#so uh ren (rin) you know... i cant hear a heartbeat from him#and renke is like THATS THE FUNNY PART! hes dead#and marin is like i see i see good luck i guess and slinks out of his arms and wanders off#dead guy is a mage though ! and he craves being useful and he doesnt know why he needs to be useful#but renke wants nothing to do with him cause thats a hassle#but then dead guy is like but I MUST repay you and also listen i have benefits no one else will have#such as i need no food since i am dead ! therefore its like you are fending for yourself with no need to fend for me#also i cannot feel pain which is very handy since i also do not breathe and THEREFORE will make no noise#you wont even know im there except i can cast fireball c:#renke just absolutely :T#while dead mage is very unhappy with people being chummy with renke because hey thats the guy that saved ME go away#marin has a bizarre attachment to renke and will in fact go out of her way to test him and touch him and cling to him#but then marin is like WAIT as a fan of cuddling against people to sleep bc its comfy#you are actually THE IDEAL BODY because you don't generate heat which means i dont overheat#lets go dead guy we are taking some naps !#and he has been educated that you do not refuse marin anything or she will kick your ass so he goes along with it#and is now one of marins favorite nap spots bc human shaped without the overheating? pog
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For Years! | Max Verstappen x Reader |
Social media AU Summary: Max and reader get criticism over the status of their relationship.
✮▹ A/N: So sorry for not posting for so long. Life has been BUSY. but hopefully i can post more and write more! Love you guys <3
✰▹Warnings/Notices: Not edited. nothing really. reader mentioned to write music
Liked by Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, & 3,345,678 others
@Y/N: Lovely time lately.
view all 19,234 comments
user1: LMFAO MAX.
user2: Y/N you'll always been iconic
user3: sometimes I forget Max Verstappen is dating THE Y/N L/N.
↪ user4: SO TRUE. It completely passes my mind that they've been together before he even got to F1.
↪ user5: THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 9 YEARS?
↪ user6: YEA ITS WILD.
↪ user7: wait but they haven't gotten married or anything?
↪ user8: Yea no. They also avoid the questions around it. Kind of weird to me.
↪ user9: But hasn't Y/N written songs about marriage and getting married? Why haven't they?
↪ user10: Maybe they just don't want to. Or max doesn't.
MaxVerstappen: Why did you choose that photo of me.
↪ Y/N: You want me to post the photo from yesterday?
↪ MaxVerstappen: NO.
↪ user11: LMFAO. PARENTS.
Liked by Y/N, Redbull, & 2,345,567 others
@MaxVerstappen: Great race and great win! Getting ready for next week. And thank you to @Y/N for making me but those glasses, best purchase.
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Y/N: I told you they were a good investment
↪ MaxVerstappen: I don't know if you would call it an investment.
↪ Y/N: I'll post that picture.
↪MaxVerstappen: It was a great investment! better than a house!
↪ user12: better than a ring?
↪ user13: STOP. but no fr, wheres the ring Max?
user14: Okay nice win but when yall getting married?
user15: everyone needs to mind their business, maybe they're just not ready to get married and that okay.
↪ user16: But its been 9 YEARS. NINE YEARS. Its a red flag.
liked by 18,234 others
@F1GOSSIP: Max Verstappen and Y/N L/N have been criticized over the status of their relationship. The couple has been together for over 9 years however many fans have realized that there's been no movement in the relationship, family and marriage vise. Thought?
view all 5,567 comments
user17: I mean its their life but 9 years?
user18: Idk guys don't hate me but sometimes max doesn't seem interested in Y/N. Like all of the Monaco GP? seem happy around her.
↪ user19: Bro look at the pictures in the post. Does he seem unhappy in them? No he seems very happy.
↪ user20: Okay but lets be honest. Both only seem that happy in front of a camera.
User21: I mean for some of their relationship they were fairly young. Maybe they just wanna enjoy it little by little.
↪ user22: I think in 9 years you can enjoy a lot.
user23: I wouldn't marry her either. Max knows what's best which is why he hasn't done it.
Y/N has posted to their story!
liked by 6,678,567 others
@MaxVerstappen: happy 3 year anniversary @Y/N. love you much and cant wait for years to come. Also, people said I hated her? How could I?
view all 35,567,878 comments
Y/N: Guys my husband is kinda cool.
↪ MaxVerstappen: Kinda?
↪ Y/N: yea cuz im cooler than you.
↪ MaxVerstappen: Okay love.
user24: WTF 3 YEARS?
user25: max said hold my 3x WDC titles while I make everyone shut up about my relationship.
↪ Y/N: He just wins everything doesn't he?
↪ CharlesLeclerc: Yea its kinda annoying. you should distract him Y/N
↪ MaxVerstappen: Dont tell my wife to distract me, I'll lose.
↪ CharlesLeclerc: thats the point.
↪ LandoNorris: I just wanna win.
↪ user26: LMFAO WHAT IS HAPPENING
↪ Y/N: Im collecting them all
User27: And people said max didnt wanna marry her.
user28: Bro just keeps winning doesnt he. Y/N GIVE ME A CHANCE.
user29: if you look closely you can see me getting run over by an F1 car.
⭒❃.✮:▹A/N: I hope you guys like it! I need to post more but ive gotten so busy and haven't had the time. But I'll try to post more often. Love you guys! hope you enjoyed.
#f1#f1 fandom#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#formula 1#formula one fanfiction#charles leclerc#f1 x reader#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen#max verstappen f1#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen x you#formula one x you#formula one#formula one x reader#one shot#my fic#fic rec#charles and max#lando norris#oneshot
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bc dan acts SOO different now compared to wad. sth mustve really clicked in him after doing a solo tour. go watch any video/stream now from that era (ideally not dd bc that was a hightly conceptual character apparently) and you can see that he was trying so hard to be seen as someone else. to get approval from the wrong crowd, as he recently talked about dont get me wrong, i love wad the show itself, but you have to admit that dan hadnt really decided who he wanted to be seen as yet (in a post-coming out, post-phouse univers) before he went on tour, so the person he was during that era reflected that.
it was very hard for me to distinguish the dystopia daily persona to his usual online character because he hadnt really shown enough of that (at the time, post-coming out, mid-hiatus) to be distinguishable from his pre-pandemic, pre-ywgttn depressed lol xd dan character. he just wasnt around a lot. [i think thats what he got wrong with dd. he thought we knew him better than we did at the time but he also wanted to establish his independence from the dnp branding which unfortunately expressed himself as a form of resentment against people who still associated him with that (us phannies). this is why it felt regressive and made me sad, because the dd character seemed like an old, unhappier version of the same dan.]
but now.. look at how happy he is. he is smiling. dan is shining like the sun on a beautiful summer day and is fully embracing his past and his audience.
he doesn't feel the need to crack jokes about whoring it up all over america because he doesnt like commitment or making jabs at his audience for falling for clickbaity 'we are in a relationship'-type titles. he is not resentful anymore. he's not just laughing with us but he is IN on the joke now. he thinks we are funny! and in fact admitted that he doesn't really care about flirting with strangers and is oblivious to being flirted with because he doesnt have any need to.
it seems like he has healed a lot of old wounds regarding his audience. during wad he saw with his own eyes that we arent out to get him but in fact will support him in whatever he's doing. and now this new tour is the victory lap. he's taking phil with him. he is proud to be down bad for his man. 'no fucks left to give' for dan means not putting up the wall anymore protecting his inner child from what it fears are the bullies. he's doing it for himself now, for phil. for them. not for the attention of the wrong people. not for the approval of straight men like those who bullied him. he's doing it for his community of queer people. he knows he's safe here. he trusts us. 'we know you know'. i'm proud of both our community and proud of dnp for that. we really made ourselves get here despite how draining and back-and-forth the hiatus was. maybe the real phan really were the phriends we made along the way <3.
#you know its real bad phandom wise when i write a detailed textpost past midnight while having a uni essay due in 5 days...#im sorry if this is gibberish btw. i spend an hour writing this past midnight and will fuck off to bed now#sage posting#dnp#phan#dan and phil#dnptit#daniel howell#amazingphil
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How to Use Astrology to HELP, not Hurt
I’ve been an astrology student for years and here are some helpful things to keep in mind when you read your own chart:
- Aspects don’t stand alone. They are always communicating with other aspects. That’s how the energy in you works. Dont reduce yourself to a single aspect and obsess over it. I dislike astrologers who use this helpful tool to instill fear.
If someone ever tells you an aspect means you’re doomed, I really advise you to question the person telling you this. Astrology should be use as a self-development guide, not something that you’re tied to and have no control over.
- There are no good or bad aspects, only what you make of it. For example, Venus trine Mars is considered a great aspect by many while Venus square Saturn is literally seen as the devil.
Venus trine Mars simply means the planets’ energies communicate harmoniously with each other. But, where there’s no conflict, there’s also less potential for growth and self-knowledge. It can lead to complacency and lack of discipline. Since it often attracts and receive positive reactions from people, it can actually make you become dependent on others’ approval. When you’re used to things always being positive, a small negative incident feels really big. And that leads to more unhappiness than a negative aspect would.
People often want things to always be easy. But pain is a teacher. That’s why Venus square Saturn is actually not as bad as people say, as long as you’re a willing student of life. When you allow the harsh aspects to show you where you need to develop and grow, you will truly embody the potentials of that aspect.
Venus square Saturn people often deal with insecurities when they’re younger. It’s usually called the “Ugly Duckling” aspect. They can become extremely judgmental with their appearance and always feel like they need to be physically perfect to be worthy. They overcompensate to prove their worth.
But once they learn that they’ve always been enough and recognize the beauty they hold WITHIN, they glow up without much effort at all. Even though they had to go through a lot, the confidence that they get from overcoming pain will be genuine, authentic, and lasting. It will not be affected as much by outside influences like Venus trine Mars. They actually become so magnetic because nothing shines more than inner beauty and self-assurance.
— If you want to use astrology terms, this is coming from someone with an Aries Moon, Virgo Venus, and Cap Mars. I am not afraid to tell you the truth, even when it’s unpleasant. I think a great teacher is someone who helps you recognize your own power, not instill fear and make you feel small. It’s tough love but I believe that this will help at least a few people patient enough to read through it all 🤍
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doctor demon prince im in my 5th year of undergrad suffering from functional freeze and Cant Write Papers disease (subtype where i eventually write it 7 months later and its really good for how rushed it is). ive also been doing unmasking work and trying to make progress w my nervous system and my relationships, i still have a long way to go . im going to graduate eventually (who fucking knows when) but with a pretty shit gpa.
Anyway my question is why the fuck do i keep wanting to get a masters degree when i know this setting sucks real bad for me. i love 2 learn but either dont have a handle on my adhd/autistic workflow yet or simply dont have the combination of traits it takes to succeed in academia. and i have student loans. i probably wont be accepted to any masters programs anyway but i dont know what else to do !!!!!!!!!!! 🙃 seeing as this is the transgender autistic grad student website maybe u or some of ur followers have advice for me..... 🫶 ok thank u byeee
I'm sorry to have to say this, but why do you want to go to graduate school? It will drive you deeply into debt, cause you a huge amount of stress, subject you to a wildly inaccessible environment where student neurodivergences are often unfairly cast as signs of laziness and lack of academic potential, and, in a majority of fields, it doesn't lead to improved career prospects (typically, the equivalent amount of time spent working in your chosen profession will get you just as far, if not farther, than a graduate degree).
I don't recommend graduate school to almost anyone. Graduate school was a stigmatizing, exhausting, abusive, exploitative, traumatizing experience for me that left me profoundly socially isolated and physically sick, and trained me in an increasingly irrelevant and scientifically unsound field that basically does nothing but regurgitate neoliberal truisms back to the elites that already believe in them.
Some of the faults I've just listed don't apply to *every* academic field in the world -- but it does apply to most of them!
I think it's important for people to know that Master's degree programs are, by and large, created as a revenue source for universities. Undergraduate enrollment has hit a wall -- there's only so many more people who can go to college, in a world where college has become increasingly obligatory, college pays off professionally far less than it used to, and in times of low unemployment there's very little reason to go to school -- and so the possibility of growing undergraduate enrollment has become more and more thin. This means universities have been unable to turn growing profits for years. And that's what matters to them -- profits.
Left without the revenue source of more college students' tuitions, universities have turned toward courting repeat customers -- duping college graduates who are unhappy with their post-graduate career prospects by investing in even more school. In most Master's degree programs, there are very high fees, very limited financial aid, and very very limited mentorship (compared to, say PhD programs, where shepherding you through the program is at least an advisor's duty).
I've worked in higher ed administration for years now and I've seen how disposable Master's degree students are taken to be -- they're paying for a pricey credential and they get very little out of it, in the end -- in most programs, and most contexts. When we need to fill a budget gap, we create a new Master's program -- without regard for whether it is necessary, and without ever being able to prove it will aid our graduates in getting jobs, or even that the degree will fill a necessary niche.
You can feel free to write back to me if yours is a field where a master's degree is necessary or yields positive career outcomes for a great many people (social work and athletic training come to mind). But even still, I don't think you should subject yourself to a completely inaccessible environment that you are already struggling in and taking on more debt to do so. You deserve better than that. And 99% of graduate programs will not do right by you.
If you'd like to read more about just how exploitative graduate programs generally are, and why, I recommend Karen Kelsky's book The Professor is In, or her blog of the same name:
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i dont really ship anyone in dunmeshi (except maybe chilchuck/his attempts to get back together with his wife) but most importantly im REALLY into aro touden siblings headcanon. with laios it was a done deal for me the moment i realize marriage will make him unhappy and with falin it's the combination of the trivia in world guide about how she had a fiance before the village realized she had magic and how she reacted to shuro's proposal
it feels like just like laios she thinks of marriage as an obligation, not necessarily something she wants to do, and also seeing how she eventually rejects shuro in this comic saying that she wants to learn what she likes on her own it makes me think it would be great if she realizes not only she doesn't have to get married, she also doesn't have to love others romantically
this is all a built up so i can say the actual headcanon i've been thinking of in which because dunmeshi universe probably lacks the term to explain aromanticism so i hope in the future one of the many legacy the touden siblings left behind are sayings like "im sorry i dont see you that way i long for monster's flesh" and "she wants to travel the world, you see, like the king's sister" to explain why people don't want to get in a relationship
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Oh Baby, Baby! 4
It’s been a very long time but 🤭🤭🤭 here we go! Oh baby, part 4!
Check out our Patreon for early access and exclusive writing!
Warnings: pregnancy
WC: 3.6k
—-
Harry was absolutely insane.
Y/N was positive about that. She sat on the couch as she watched him bob about the kitchen, installing baby locks. Baby locks- and her bump was still little. Despite all of this, though, she found it stupidly attractive. His desire to be a dad, his dedication to the baby that was just a tiny little seed inside of her stomach, his already overprotective soul, it made her fall just a bit deeper.
The shift had been evident and obvious and neither of them had any awkwardness about it. It was no longer two best friends making a child- they were in it together. Harry was just as dedicated to Y/N as he was to their child. She had found that out relatively quickly. When they’d gone to the bar to meet up with their friends, Y/N and Harry both sipping on plain sodas as they caught up with people. He had gone to the bar to get her a bowl of cherries that she had been obviously craving since he had caught her looking at longingly in Sarah’s drink. He’d been approached by a very pretty girl that had her stomach twisting, seeing her place her hand on his arm which she had wanted to rip off violently. He had taken the slip of paper from her and nodded before heading back with the cherries he had paid a stupid amount for.
She had been quiet with his return, his heavy arm sloping around her shoulder like nothing had happened. He sunk back into his comfortable space, kissing the side of her head as she took one of the cherries to pop in her mouth. It felt bit hard to swallow when she did, the burning in her gut outweighing the sweetness of the cherry. Y/N hadn’t been able to hold back, turning to him after staying quiet for a bit.
“Are y’gonna go for it?” She asked,, trying to feign nonchalance. She had done a very poor job of it, though. Y/N was never one with believable poker faces. Harry could read her like a book.
“Who? Girl at the bar?” He asked with a quirked brow, shaking his head at her irritation when she nodded. Her slight pout and her irritated brows made him want to coo at her. She was so cute. “Why the hell would I do that when you’re right next to me? You’re the mother of my child. I dont need to look elsewhere. I adore you.” He turned her face, pinching her chin and pressing his lips to hers firmly for a chaste but loaded kiss. “Threw it in the trash on the way back. Told her I was an expecting father. Don’t need to go searching anywhere else.”
And that was that.
Now, doting dad and committed… boyfriend? Partner? Whatever their label was, he was exceedingly good at it. Phenomenal, really. He kept the fridge stocked with jars of the sweetened cherries and switched his cologne to a less spicy one because as much as she liked the other one, her pregnancy hormones absolutely could not stand it. He made sure to set up tea for her and get coffee if out because mournfully she was also sick whenever she smelled it. She was just hormonal and unhappy that someone else had hit on him.
Y/N had been grumpy lately. She didn’t mean to be, but with bouts of morning sickness and her breasts feeling a bit tender, a weird craving for fried chicken tenders with peanut butter, she felt irritated all the time. There wasn’t much anyone could do for that. That didn’t mean Harry deserved to be on the receiving end of her grumpiness, though. She felt a bit bad as she watched him walk back over to test out the locks, not seeming to be bothered by it visibly but… she knew he valued her a lot and the last thing she wanted was for him to think she was being mean in purpose.
Tears grew in her eyes, the sting making her even more upset. She kept fucking crying and she had been lucky to keep it from him this far, but it had only been a matter of time. A quiet sniffle was accompanied by rubbing over her eyes, not wanting tears to fall before she spoke. “I’m sorry, H.” She said, trying her best to keep her voice steady. Harry had quickly turned to look at her, concern etching over his features as he returned back to her side. “I shouldn’t have tried to start a fight. It’s not fair and you’re s-so lovely to me and I get scared you’re going to find someone who isn’t pregnant and whiny and eats weird things-“ she hiccuped, glassy eyes looking at his beautiful hands. It was hard to face him.
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Y/N was full of emotion lately but Harry had thought he made it clear that he wasn’t ever going to leave. “Sweet girl… hey.” He grabbed her chin with his thumb, tilting her head up to meet his eyes. “I’m not upset. I didn’t even know you had seen that. I’d never do that. I don’t want to. What I want is right here.” He moved to cup her cheek, wiping away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. Her stuttered breathing had him squatting in front of her, getting them eye level. This needed to be cleared up.
As much as he had been thorough in telling her that she was his, he hadn’t been proper in his declaration of need for her. “Look at me.” His instruction got her to look right at his eyes, a harsh swallow taken as she held her breath. “There is no one else. Maybe it’s my fault for not being clear, but I’m yours. Your partner in all of this, if you’ll have me.” Gentle strokes of the damp skin and the shaky breath exhaled as she took another second to absorb his words. “We made a sweet little baby inside of you, we’ve bonded but… m’not just here for the baby. I’m here for you. You’re what I want, and I’m sorry that I haven’t outright said it yet. I thought you knew how much I utterly adore you.” He got on his knees between her legs, still able to look at her face on as he brought her face towards him.
Delicately, he kissed over her skin. Feather light, soft and breezy, he kissed her forehead, her nose, her eyelids as she closed them to feel his affection. He was so serious about her that it grounded her a bit. Finally letting her body unclench, leaning her face into the pecks when he finished off with her lips. “I adore you too.” She mumbled back, holding on to his wrists. “I’m sorry. I- I kind of knew but we never spoke about it and when I saw you talking to her my mind panicked a little bit.” It was silly of her. Harry was right in saying he had made it clear she was his- her still slightly over sensitive cunt was proof of that alone- but the lack of clarification had gotten to her.
“Don’t need an apology from you. I know that if I saw a man talking to you, flirting… handing you his number? I’d be very annoyed. Not at you, but.. the idea. It pisses me off and probably wasn’t fun for you to watch.” He sighed, pulling back slightly to stare at her. “M’here for you and little baby inside of you. You both are my world. And I don’t want you questioning it again. Alright?” He squeezed her cheeks slightly with his hands, making her laugh through the last of her emotional tears.
“Got it.” She sniffed, welcoming the kiss he paired it with. “I- I still don’t think we need baby locks yet.”
“S’called being proactive, my darling.” He chuckled against her mouth. “Keep up.”
—————
Harry’s hand was threaded through hers as they left the appointment. Y/N was happy that as she was in her second trimester, but even more so, she was amused at her boyfriends antics.
He was diligent and doting on her, more than he had ever been before. The friend she had before had erupted from his cocoon, showing her a new side to him that she hadn’t anticipated. Protective, present, and so damn affectionate. He couldn’t keep his hands off of her. It wasn’t just sexually, either. The man always had his hand on her, lips pressing against some part of her body, fingers tangled with hers. It was very new, but very welcomed.
“So… soon they’ll be able to hear.” Harry mumbled as they walked towards the car. “So we’re going to have to play them some good music. Got to be careful what my child consumes because I will not have a kid with bad music taste.” He gave Y/N a look. “No radio for right now. I’ve got playlists, going to get the family plan for Spotify or something and then y’can use that.”
Y/N laughed under her breath, approaching his black SUV with a shake of the head. “Harry, I adore you, but please.” She gave him a look. “They’re going to be perfect. With a father like you, there’s no damn way our child isn’t going to know the ups and downs of rock n’ roll history.” Harry was quick to open up the passenger side door, holding on to her hand as he helped her get into the seat. “Besides, it’s mainly my heartbeat they’ll hear. They won’t start hearing a lot of external noise until the end of this trimester.” He had been on the baby websites.
“I know that. But we have to be safe, don’t we?” He was deadly serious, too. “We don’t know the exact time they’ll be able to hear it so…” he shrugged, making sure she was buckled before closing the door. Harry was already an active parent and Y/N couldn't fault him for that.
When he was in his seat and buckled, his hand moved the car into gear before finding its new favorite spot on her thigh. It still gave her little butterflies to feel him touch her so intimately, so casually. These adjustments had made her exceptionally happier in the last few weeks.
“What did you want for lunch, petal?” He asked softly, the music playing lowly after Harry adjusted the playlist. “Is it still chicken tenders? Or are you wanting something else?” The cravings had varied lately. Harry was never sure what exactly to get her so he waited for explicit instructions so they didn’t waste time or money.
“Can I have Taco Bell?” She asked, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. “Want one of the freeze things and.. maybe we get the taco box? With all the tacos so we can have it for later too?” Her stomach was growling, in desperate need of some food. “Want some of the chips and cheese too. Maybe 2. Your child is making me stupidly hungry.” The grumble made him laugh. It was very much his fault, and he wouldn’t change it.
“Course we can. Tomorrow I’m going to the grocery so I can get us some good food at home. Strawberries and greens for your smoothies.” While Harry was never one to dictate how she ate, he did encourage her to eat healthy when possible. He would cook for them since they’d basically moved in together, but Y/N was feeling too lazy to cook most of the time.
“Hm. Yeah, I think that’s good. I’d like some crisps and stuff to make dip… maybe some rice. I’ve been craving baby carrots with ranch a few times but we didn’t have it.” It hadn’t been so much that she would ask him to go out and get it. She was still able to go but Harry did like to take care of her so far. It had been a bit of an adjustment but she was learning to love it. “Y’know, you’re spoiling me. Going to make a monster out of me. I’m liking this ‘having Harry go to the shops’ thing.” Her grin was wide as she looked over to him in time to see him fondly roll his eyes.
“Well… I’m going to take care of you. You’re my girl, you’re carrying my baby. I’ve always liked spoiling you. Just didn’t do it as much because it would have been a bit weird.” He admitted. The sun was high in the sky and the clouds fluffy and white. The air was warm enough for them to have the windows down a bit as they drove, and Harry really felt like his heart was full. Just getting to experience this and spoil Y/N the way he had always had a weird itch to do? It was fulfilling a spot in his chest that had been vacant for a while.
“That’s good then. I like being spoiled so I think this could work out.”
—-
“Harry!”
The call of his name from across the house had him jolting, running from the kitchen where he had been preparing their meal, up the steps and down the hall to their bedroom. You never yelled for him like that. His brain had been on auto pilot, running over as fast as he could in his socks- dangerous- to find Y/N standing with wide eyes as their folded laundry sat in sorted piles on the bed.
Her hands were over her bump, visible in the cornflower blue dress that hung over her form. Her eyes were wide as she turned to look at him, mouth open as he approached. His hands immediately grabbed her face, looking her over. “What? What’s wrong?” He pressed. “Baby- y’cant yell for me like that and not tell me. Is there something wrong?”
“No! I don’t- I don’t think so?” She squeaked. “I felt them move! Like… s’not a kick or anything but it felt real this time! Not just the flutters. It’s like… squirming?” Her eyes were wide as she looked down at her belly, the shock of truly feeling their baby moving around inside of her taking her for a ride. “I didn’t mean to worry you but I just- I panicked and was excited. I’m sorry.” The woman hadn’t meant to worry him too much.
Harry felt himself melt in both relief and happiness at the clarification. His heart rate could finally slow down. Perching himself on the end of the bed, he was mindful of the laundry piles as he pulled her body in between his legs. “I’m not angry, Angel. Not in the slightest. You just scared me. Thought something was wrong. M’much happier with this result.” Hands moved from her hips to over her forming bump, stroking over it tenderly.
She had told him about flutters recently, how they’d made her excited- but this was a very new and exciting development. “I didn’t want you to miss out.” She peeped, looking down at him. “In case you could feel something. I know you love them a lot already and I didn’t want to keep the first couple times.”
Harry was in love. He knew that before, but her little moment now had solidified it even more. His lips pressed over the clothed belly, tilting his head up to look at her with his eyes full of fondness. “Thank you. I researched it and I don’t think I’ll be able to feel much until the end of this trimester, but I love that you wanted to tell me.” The moment had been more than enough for him. “What did it feel like to you, though? Tell me.” Holding her body to him and his chin against the bump, he listened intently.
“It was like… I don’t know exactly. They were squirming and bumped into the side of the wall? It’s hard to explain. It freaked me out at first.” A breathy left slightly moved his face as it rested on the belly. “Because I sometimes forget that there’s a real human in there growing. It’s incredible, isn’t it?” She placed her hands over his. “Like a little flower. Planted the seed and now the sprout is growing a flower.”
“Hm. Little sprout? I like that.” He turned to whisper into her belly. “Do you like that, Sprout? S’a cute little name your Mumma and I can call you. We’re going to find out if you’re a girl or boy later on but… it’s better than calling you ‘baby’, hm?” Harry more than liked that. “Can choose to be whatever you’d like, but think you’re going to be stuck with the Sprout nickname forever. S’already stuck. You’re going to be married with children and I’ll be calling you it.” He joked, rubbing her hips as he looked back up at Y/N.
She was so beautiful. Sometimes it struck him in the chest, like right now, how lucky he was to have been given her by chance. She had suggested this and they hadn’t anticipated this sort of thing happening, but it was the best thing to ever happen to him. She had that pregnancy glow, the beam of her smile. No more morning sickness and instead getting to enjoy her bump for a while. The leg cramps hurt a bit, but she and Harry worked on it with the massagers and vitamins. She was truly thriving, and he was elated.
“You’re so lucky, Sprout. Me and you. We get your Mumma, and she’s the most perfect woman. You will be grateful when you come out to meet her.” He felt her gentle hands stroke through his messy hair as he continued to speak. “Hope you’re nice to her the rest of the time you’re sprouting. She’s giving you some good genetics to work with here. M’gonna have the prettiest babies with her.”
“Babies?” Y/N rose a brow. “Who said we are having more than this one?” Her heart beat a bit faster as it did sink in. He meant it. He wanted the long haul. It was so exciting, so comforting to know. Harry reminded her often how how much he adored her, how he was proud to be hers, but that confirmation made it feel way more real.
“Well.. s’your body, so you. But I’d like to be the one who gives you more babies if you decide that I can.” He blinked up at her. “I’m more than okay with one, if that’s all you’d like. But… I would definitely like some more if that’s something you’d offer.” Obviously he would never pressure her into anything she didn’t want, but it was something he had been envisioning.
A full house. A dog or two. A set dining room table and sports practices, plays, dance recitals. Siblings spats and groans when Harry would kiss her. Picnics and beach days where he would remind the children to walk, do not run to the water. Applying sunscreen to grumbling kids and holding Y/N’s hand through all of their firsts. Perhaps it was a big dream to ask to follow through, but it was something he desperately wanted.
“You’d really want that? We haven’t even had this one yet.” She asked softly, surprise evident in her tone. “You like them that much?”
“Love them. And you.” He looked up at her again, pulling his lips from her stomach, letting the words sit in the silence for a second. “Love you a lot, Y/N. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. Want to build a family with you, a home. Not just a house or a flat. Want to do it all with you. You’ve been my best friend for a long time but I love you a lot more than that. You’re the person I’ve always wanted to be with but didn’t particularly know it. Didn’t allow myself to think of it. Now that I have a chance, I’m taking it. Keeping it.” And her.
Eventually he would propose, but he didn’t want her to think it was just from the baby fever. He loved her wholly before this but it had grown and changed shape and color. She felt like gold. Bright, shiny, priceless. Better than anything else he had ever seen and she had him wrapped around her finger.
“I’d like that.” She caressed the tops of his cheeks with her knuckles. “You’re my best friend too… and- and I think that there’s no one better suited for the job as the father of my children than you. I’ve loved you for a long time and it’s changed the meaning, like you said but.. I like that idea.” Building a home and family with him. Something so perfect to them. It wouldn’t always be, but they’d love it despite the imperfections and hiccups. She knew his heart, and it was pure.
“But to be honest? To me, you’ve always felt like home.”
#jarofstyles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#dadrry#oh baby baby#dad Harry#daddy harry#dad harry styles#daddy harry styles#Harry styles au#Harry styles fluff#Harry styles blurbs#harry styles fic#Harry fluff#harry smut
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A Very out-of-context set of Sentence Starters from my Discord server.
Add names to blanks Change pronouns as necessary!
"Murder in marriage is normal and healthy."
"Oh haha, yeah lobotomize them."
"Metaphorically speaking, I cannot tell you if you serve cunt or not."
"The sins better be crawling up my back because if they do at the front they're going to have two massive obstacles"
"You're a really predictable person_ _ _ and it's really funny to me, I want to crush you under my arm <3"
"Clearly you've never had a premium rock roast and I'm so sorry for you."
"I dont know I haven't sniffed you."
"Cock and ball torture for anxiety and ocd hell yeah!"
"Bimbos are the larval form of milfs."
"I will slow down im just carbonated to meet you."
"They are homoerotic and homoirritating."
"The uggs do make my soul frown, I'll give credit to that."
"I dont have good or bad habits I just enter a state somewhere between a robot and a bad stand-up comedian and that's how the stuff happens."
"She went to evil hell college where you summon devils."
"I do nothing but put beasts in a situation that's why they call me the border collie."
"The lore exists. If I'm feeling particularly zesty and tased I'll drop two sentences."
"Hi _ _ _, I'm the devil on your shoulder and even I agree that you probably shouldn't pull up hot ass in a nice restaurant."
"Vagina so powerful it does what walruses do to clams."
"Yes, we established _ _ _ has the walrus mouth vagina."
"Never assume I can't be hornier."
"That is a man held together by crust and spite."
"I can't, I was assassinated so I wouldn't snitch about the squeaky toy noises."
"I WAS AGREEING THAT THEY LOOK LIKE CHICKEN NUGGETS YOU SOGGY SALAMI."
"_ _ _ is more likely to take you on a date killing homeless people."
"I won but it was embarrassing."
"He's just hanging loose like a tit that's escaped its harness."
"_ _ _ trying very hard not to bring up his girlfriend (the Cambrian period.)"
"Lick my boots but we stay silly."
"I keep thinking he's a weird god ascended form of Jerry Seinfeld."
"I dont think that's a good idea _ _ _ would become a stick of incense in 5 seconds flat for sneezing microaggressively."
"She has disabled the flap in my esophagus i choke on a gulp of tea instantly."
"We have from the left: Thembo, Himbo, tiny himbo, bimbo, And bitch."
"Keep your mouth open so I can shove my fist inside."
"I wanna enjoy dinner, not watch someone get snapped in half like a KitKat bar."
"My standards for a good partner are non-existent, if I raised the bar remotely, Not only would he TRIP, but he'd fall backward and break a hip."
"Good luck it's behind six layers of 4chan."
"It is fine. the conversation needed to end anyway. please continue your vegetation exultation."
"I have normal amounts of radiation for a horse."
"What does a planet have to do with a music genre?"
"Fear not, I will not be kissing misogynists any time soon."
"Pain is weakness leaving the body."
"You were born at an incredibly old age."
"You seem like you would be an entry on the villains wiki."
"I don't bite strangers….that's an easy way to catch diseases, dumbass."
"...So his unhappiness is only half my fault."
"It's ok buddy, I've licked dirt too."
#rp memes#rp meme#ask memes#ask meme#This isn't an rp meme blog I just thought these would be funny to share.
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