#i gotta get this out of my head it’s driving me nuts

[valkyurii]

it’s funny how things have gone full circle with malenia. she was so hated when the game first came out, but then people grew to like her. then the dlc came out and now people hate her again lmao

[punkshort]

Just Friends

Thank you @brittmb115 for this prompt!

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: Accompanying your friend Javier to his holiday work party seemed simple enough until it gets a little too hard to just pretend to be dating.

Warnings: language, fake dating, one bed trope, sexual tension, jealousy, flirting, cigarette use, alcohol use, friends to lovers, reader has insecurities about her looks, fingering, smut (18+ MDNI), unprotected piv sex

WC: 6.4K

dividers by @saradika-graphics

"Please, cariño, it's just one night. The party's at a casino about two hours outside the city. The DEA paid for hotel rooms 'cause they're worried about people drinking and driving. We'll be back by noon on Saturday, you'll still have your whole weekend to mope around over Travis," Javi begged as he followed you around your kitchen.

"Trent," you corrected with a glare over your shoulder. Javi just waved you off.

"Yeah, whatever. His name doesn't matter anymore, now does it?" he countered with an arched brow. You frowned and continued to put your dishes away.

Javier was right - Trent's name didn't matter anymore. Not after he dumped you out of the blue, two weeks before Christmas. He probably didn't want to buy you a gift, Javier had said when you called him up crying. It wasn't exactly the most comforting thing to hear, but at least he made you laugh.

"And why is it you don't want to attend this event by yourself? I thought you would have wanted to take some poor secretary back to your room for the evening," you said, flipping the dishwasher closed before playfully adding, "This better not be some sick move to try to get into my pants again." Javi pulled out his carton of cigarettes and began to anxiously tap it against his palm. When you whisked by, you smacked it out of his hand with a warning: do not smoke in my house.

"You've made it very clear I won't be touching your pants, hermosa," he chuckled, recalling a handful of failed attempts to get you into bed before giving up entirely. "But, uh, I've been taking one too many secretaries home lately," Javi admitted with a lopsided grin. "Got one real pissed at me for not calling her back. Had to make up a lie that I had gotten back together with an ex, so..."

Your jaw dropped and you stared daggers at him with your hands on your hips.

"So not only are you asking me to go with you to this party, but I'm supposed to pretend we're dating?" you clarified, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach. When he nodded sheepishly, you tossed your hands in the hair and began to curse under your breath.

"Oh, come on! It won't be that bad! It's not like she's gonna say anything. It's just for looks. Hell, you never know. Maybe you'll meet someone at this thing. I could be doing you the favor of a lifetime," he said before hopping up to sit on your kitchen island. You smacked his knee when you walked past and he grinned.

"I have barstools, you know."

"Yeah, but I like it up here. Better view," he winked and jutted his chin towards your v-neck shirt.

"Gross," you scowled, making him laugh. He took a handful of nuts from the bowl on your counter and shook them in his hand like dice.

"So? What's it gonna be? You in?"

You watched him tip his head back, pouring some peanuts in his mouth, and you sighed. What the hell. You didn't have anything better to do.

"Fine."

Javier jumped off the counter excitedly. "Thank you! I owe you one!" he exclaimed before heading for your door. "I gotta run. I'll pick you up around noon on Friday. And, hey - bring a dress. The party is a little formal."

You rolled your eyes and groaned, then shooed him out your door. "Thanks. Now I have to figure out a damn outfit."

"You're the best!" he shouted happily from his car. You shut your door and turned around to sag against the wood, finally surrounded with silence. Something you thought you were craving until you had it, and then suddenly you realized you had never felt more alone in your life.

"Where the hell is this place?" you asked, staring out the passenger seat of Javier's jeep. It felt like the car kept climbing higher and higher, and the way your ears were popping, you were thinking your hunch was right.

"It's a hotel slash casino up in the hills," he said with a nod towards the open, winding road. "Supposed to have a hell of a view."

"Yeah, guess so," you muttered, then gasped when a clearing came into view and you saw just how high up you really were. "Oh, my god! Javi - look!"

"I'm driving, cariño," he reminded you with a smirk, but his eyes still flickered quickly over the ridge.

"Wow," you said breathlessly. The view was spectacular. Miles and miles of hills and trees surrounded a sprawling hotel/casino. If you were closer to the edge, you would be able to see a lazy river snaking around the bottom of the mountain.

"Alright. So what's the story?" you asked when you settled back in your seat. There was still a ways to go until you reached the casino, but you could see it from the road nestled into the landscape.

"What story?"

"Our story," you said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You told a girl you got back together with an ex. So, why did we originally break up?"

"Oh," Javi said, scratching his chin. "I don't know. You really think it matters?"

"Maybe. Who knows? Probably a good idea we at least talk about it," you shrugged.

Javi thought about it for a minute before snapping his fingers. "You wanted marriage and I didn't."

You made a face and shook your head.

"That would imply we're on the path to getting engaged. You really think you can fake a whole marriage because you pissed off a girl at work?"

"Yeah, good point," he mumbled before falling quiet to think about it some more. After a few minutes, he came up with another idea. "How about you were gonna move away for a job and we didn't want to do long distance, but the job fell through and you stayed?"

You nodded slowly, rolling the idea around in your head.

"Yeah, that's good. That'll work. Then one day to explain why you're single again, you can say I got another job offer out of state or something."

"Exactly."

"Alright. Easy enough," you hummed, then turned to gaze out your window again. Javi watched you for a few minutes out of the corner of his eye, his jaw working back and forth while he tried to come up with the right words to express his gratitude.

"Hey, uh," he said, clearing his throat. You turned to look at him expectantly. "I just wanna thank you again. I know you're going through a tough time and all that-"

"Don't mention it," you said dismissively. "It's not a big deal. Plenty of guys out there, right?"

Javi gave you a tight smile. "Yeah. Sure."

One thing that you didn't have a chance to fully think through was the sleeping situation. As Javi checked you in and you heard the girl at the front desk confirm one king sized bed, you felt yourself stiffen. He signed and grabbed the keys, then shot you a warm smile before gesturing towards the elevators. From the looks of it, Javier didn't mind one bit. Then, of course, it was Javier...

"No funny business," you declared when you entered your room and Javier flopped down tiredly on the huge bed. "You stick to your side, I'll stick to mine."

"Whatever you say, cariño," he replied with his eyes closed. "I'll be reminding you of that later tonight when you're all over me after a few drinks."

"That was one time and I told you I was sorry!" you exclaimed, cheeks burning from the memory.

Your relationship in the past with Javier was... complicated. When you first met, it felt like you kept seeking each other out at all the worst times. Whenever you made a move, he was unavailable, and vice versa. Eventually, you had decided to just be friends and left it at that. And it worked well. You had an easy relationship where it felt effortless and natural to go to the other with some exciting news, and sought a shoulder to cry on if something bad happened. It just seemed to work better without the romantic element.

All of that aside, at the crux of the issue was you were a romantic, through and through. You liked being in long term relationships. You enjoyed the comfort and peace it brought. Javier, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. You couldn't even remember the last time he brought the same girl out for drinks more than once and you had a suspicion he had never been in love.

"I'm just messing with you. Can't help it, I like when you're all flustered," Javi said before sitting up with a groan. When he stretched, you found your eyes drifting down to where his shirt rode up, revealing a small sliver of bronzed skin. You swallowed and forced yourself to look away because no matter how many times you reminded yourself it would never work between you, it didn't stop you from being unbearably attracted to him.

It was the confidence that he exuded. That was what you had finally decided was the thing that kept you drawn to him in a decidedly less-than-friendly way. But of course, you were quick to remember you weren't the only one who was attracted to his charm. Half the women in the city noticed it, too. You had just gotten very good at hiding it.

"What time's the party start?" you asked, hauling your duffel bag onto the bed so you could begin to unpack your toiletries. The first thing you did was take out the dark red slinky dress you bought so you could steam out the wrinkles with the iron packed away in the coat closet. What you didn't notice was the way Javier's eyes greedily locked onto the fabric while you moved around the room.

"Uh..." he murmured, his pulse quickening when he saw the plunging neckline of your dress. "That new?"

You furrowed your brow and turned around. "Yeah. I didn't exactly have anything suitable so I went shopping. Why? You don't like it?"

"No, no... it's perfect," he assured you. Javier blinked a few times, snapping himself out of it, and looked at you. "Very... festive."

You grinned and hung up the dress on the back of the bathroom door. "Thanks. I thought so, too. So... the party? What time?"

"Oh, right. Cocktail hour starts at five, dinner's at seven then dancing or whatever til who knows when."

You glanced at your watch and made a face after you did a quick pass with the iron.

"I better get in the shower, then," you said, grabbing your things. Javier leaned back onto the headboard and flicked on the television with the ease of a man who didn't intend on putting in much work on his appearance for evening. However, once you finished your hair and makeup and stepped out of the bathroom in that damn dress, he suddenly felt like he should have tried a little harder.

"Maybe I should put something in my hair," he muttered, his fingers flicking through the dark locks as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. You appeared in the doorway of the bathroom looking way too fucking attractive to be his date, let alone masquerading as his girlfriend. Your brows pinched together as you looked at his hair and it took every last ounce of willpower not to let his eyes fall to your cleavage in that tight dress.

"I think your hair looks good," you said. When you reached up to fix a stray piece of his hair, he cleared his throat and twisted away.

"Alright, let's get this thing over with," he mumbled as he slid past you and headed towards the door.

"What's got you so grumpy?"

"Nothing. Just need a drink and a smoke."

"You're gonna abandon me with a bunch of DEA agents to go smoke for ten minutes?" you whined, following him out of your hotel room towards the elevators.

"You could always join me. You'd look like Bette Davis smoking a cigarette and wearing that dress," he replied when you both stepped inside the elevator. He tapped the lobby button and grinned down at you.

"You and Bette Davis," you laughed, rolling your eyes.

"What? She made smoking look so damn cool."

"Yeah, well, I think I'm going to pass," you told him. "I'll get a drink and mingle. Maybe find one of the girls you pissed off and have a cat fight."

Javi chuckled and shook his head. "That's a long list, baby. Shouldn't be too hard."

When the elevator doors slid open, you could hear the music thumping from the ballroom and laughter echoing off the walls.

"Sounds like they didn't waste any time," you said to Javier.

"Are you kidding? When the government gives you an open bar, you fucking milk it," he replied before taking one step towards the front doors. "You sure you're good for a few?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," you said, waving him off. He nodded and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. Before he even made it to the door, he slipped one in between his lips.

The ballroom was pretty full already, Javi was right: when government employees have a chance to let loose, they jump at the opportunity. The entire room was decorated in Christmas lights, garland, and at least five different trees. The DJ was cycling through a mix of Christmas carols, pop music, and classic rock. Some people already shaking their hips on the dance floor with drinks in their hands. You spotted two different bars set up, so you made your way to the nearest one and ordered a white wine. As you waited, you bopped your head along to the beat of Last Christmas while mindlessly scrolling on your phone.

"Jack Daniels, neat," a man's deep voice said from beside you when the bartender placed your wine glass on a coaster. You thanked him and slid a few dollars across the bar before taking a sip.

"Excuse me... have we met?"

You turned to look at your neighbor and slowly shook your head. He was cute. Blonde hair parted to one side, mustache, lean but strong physique and sparkling blue eyes.

"No, we haven't," you said before offering your hand and name.

"Steve," he grinned, giving your hand a firm shake before accepting his drink with a nod and a couple bucks in the tip jar. "What department do you work in?"

"Oh, I don't work for the DEA, I'm here with someone," you said, leaning closer. You watched his face fall when you implied you weren't single and you pursed your lips. How the hell would Javi expect you to meet anyone when you had to pretend to be his girlfriend?

"I mean, just a friend. A good friend," you added, praying you didn't blow Javi's cover the first time you opened your mouth. "Uh, what do you do?"

"I'm an agent," he told you, chest puffing with pride. "Takin' down drug rings one scumbag at a time."

"Wow. That's so impressive," you gushed. You saw the way his cheeks flushed a bit and preened when he glanced down at your chest. "That must be so hard. What's your favorite part about the job?"

"Goin' to the Christmas party and meeting beautiful women like you," he shot back smoothly, making you giggle and toss your hair flirtatiously over your shoulder. Steve's gaze dragged up and down your dress appreciatively before adding, "I mean it. You look stunning. Should've known someone like you didn't work for the DEA."

"Oh, stop," you giggled, feeling your face warm from his compliment.

"Where are you sitting? Maybe I can convince you to dance after dinner? Now fair warning, I got two left feet, but I got a feeling no one's gonna be lookin' at me," Steve grinned, taking a step closer and grazing his thumb along your bare arm.

"Hmm, that sounds-"

"Murphy."

You both twisted around to find Javier storming across the room. And storming was really the only word for it. His fists were clenched and his jaw pulled tight like he was about to take a swing at Steve.

"Javi," you greeted him sweetly with a smile. At the same time, Steve said, "Peña."

"What's going on here?" he asked, sidling up so he could wedge himself between you and Steve.

"Nothing. Steve and I were just talking," you said innocently.

"Looked like more than that," Javier huffed. His tone and the serious look on his face made you falter. Did you do something wrong?

"Well-"

"I was just asking her for a dance after dinner. Relax, Jav," Steve joked with a playful punch to his shoulder. When Javi remained stoic and unmoving at your side, the smile slowly slipped from Steve's face.

"Oh, shit. Sorry. I thought you were just friends."

"We are," you said quickly, but Steve was already backing away.

"Enjoy your night! It was lovely to meet you," Steve said with a wink before disappearing into the crowd. You swiveled on your heel to glare at Javi.

"Why didn't you correct him?" you seethed.

Javi just shrugged, his relaxed demeanor slipping back in place, and leaned up against the bar to flag down a bartender. "You can do better than Steve."

"Who are you to say?" you argued back after he ordered a whiskey. "We were clicking! And he's cute, why-"

"'Cause I don't want you fucking my partner, hermosa, that's why," Javi snapped. Your eyes widened and you clamped your mouth shut for a moment.

"He's your partner? Why didn't you ever introduce us before? He's-"

"C'mon, let's go find the appetizers or something," he said after snatching his glass from the bar top. It was very evident you wouldn't be getting any more information out of Javier so you decided to drop the subject. But as the happy hour inched along with your third drink in your hand and Javi's arm finding a permanent home around your waist as he introduced you to his coworkers, your mind kept drifting back to that hardened look he had given you and Steve. The butterflies in your stomach churned to life every time you thought about it, your memory twisting things so you could pretend he was jealous over you flirting with another man. It wasn't that hard to imagine, really. He could hardly keep himself from touching either your waist or lower back or grabbing your hand. It fed the little fantasy in your head, deluding yourself into thinking he was subtly trying to claim you in front of the whole party, warning others to stay away.

You had given up reminding yourself that the fake relationship schtick was just an act by the end of dinner. It was too nice to pretend otherwise.

Javi had been wrapped up in a long winded conversation with the man seated on the other side of him, but your heart was fluttering the whole time because from the moment he set his silverware down, his hand hadn't once left your leg.

With a dreamy smile plastered across your face, your eyes casually drifted around the room. People were already beginning to dance but many still remained at their dinner tables chatting. You had been quietly admiring the artwork on the walls and sipping from your glass when you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. It was hard to explain, but you just felt like someone was staring at you. Doing your best to be subtle, you shifted in your seat and let your gaze wander around the room again until you found the source.

There was a table to your left, half of which was empty, but five young women remained staring in your direction. Some had drinks dangling from their fingers, one had a scowl and another was leaning in to whisper something in her ear.

There was no question one of the girls must have been one of Javi's scorned lovers. If not all of them. Your heart sunk a little when you saw how beautiful they were and you forced yourself to look away.

Javier was handsome, he had charm, and he was funny. A lethal combination that managed to get him in bed with some extremely drop dead gorgeous women. It was then you felt your insecurities flare up. How could anyone buy you were a couple when he was used to having girls like that on his arm?

With Javier still talking, you stood up from your chair, suddenly feeling flustered and overwhelmed.

He stopped speaking mid sentence to look up and ask, "Where are you going?"

"Uh," you glanced around and swallowed nervously. "I think I just need some fresh air. I'll be right back."

"I'll go with you," he said, immediately standing. "I'll catch up with you later, Jim," Javi added over his shoulder before hurrying to catch up with you. When his palm pressed against your back, your feet automatically slowed.

"What's going on? Drink too much?"

"No. Well, maybe. I don't know," you rambled, eyes scanning for the exit. "I just feel like I don't fit in here."

"What? Why?" he asked, grabbing your arm and spinning you around. His face was filled with concern as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. "You're doing great, cariño. I thought you were having fun."

"I was. I am," you stammered, and then your gaze landed on the table of girls, most of which had moved on to something else.

Before you could tear your eyes away, Javier noticed where you were looking and sighed.

"Yeah, sorry. I told you, I pissed off a woman or two here."

"It's not that," you mumbled, now staring down at the floor.

"Then what is it?"

You felt your cheeks flush and you couldn't look him in the eye when you finally admitted, "They're really pretty, Javi."

He just scoffed and took your hand in his.

"You're prettier."

You laughed lightly and shook your head. "Yeah, right. It's a good thing there's an open bar. Otherwise, I'm not sure people would believe we're together when you're usually seen with girls like that."

"Hey," Javi said softly. He hooked a finger under your chin and tilted it up so you would look at him. "Don't say that. You look better than anyone else here. If you weren't already, I'd be trying to get you up to my room right now," he said with a smirk. You giggled a little and sighed.

"Sorry. I guess I just had a moment or something," you said, breathing deep. Javi looked around the room and noticed how the dance floor was beginning to fill up.

"Wanna dance?"

You smiled and pulled your lower lip between your teeth as you watched others having fun on the dance floor. Without waiting for your answer, Javi tugged your hand and tilted his head, urging you to follow him. "C'mon, don't leave me hanging."

You laughed and let him lead you to the dance floor, weaving through the throngs of people until he found a little wiggle room, but right when he turned back to look at you with a big, goofy smile, the fast tempo switched to a much slower ballad. Javi cocked an eyebrow at you and extended a hand, unphased.

With a smile of your own, you took his hand and let him pull you in close. His fingers laced together with yours while his other arm wrapped around your middle and your free hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"Hey, you can dance," he teased when you fell into rhythm with him effortlessly.

"Of course I can dance," you said, rolling your eyes. Being that close to him, you could smell his aftershave, the whiskey on his breath, and a faint hint of cigarette smoke from earlier. The smell you had unknowingly grown to love. The smell that was, simply put, Javier.

You gazed up at him, smiling at the little pink tinting his cheeks and the glassy look in his eye. He looked so fucking adorable it almost pained you.

"Can I ask you something, Javi?" you asked quietly. His eyes softened at your tone and he nodded. "Why were you so mad earlier when I was talking to Steve? Really?"

The corner of his mouth twitched and his eyes flickered somewhere behind you as he considered his answer.

"I think you know why."

When he looked back down at you, the playfulness was gone. His eyes carried something else in them. Something he couldn't bring himself to say. Then your heart skipped a beat and your breath caught in your throat when you saw it. The look you had been aching to see from him for years. The same look you were giving him at the very same time.

And then it hit you. Yeah, you knew why.

It turned out Javier was much more popular at work than you ever expected. You had spent the rest of your dance trying to come up with the right thing to say, but you panicked and lost your chance when Javier's boss nudged his shoulder while dancing with his wife. The four of you fell into a conversation - the men about work, you and his boss's wife about Christmas bargains - in the middle of the dance floor. When you realized you were in the way, the conversation moved to the bar. After that, an investigator joined in the conversation with her girlfriend and before you knew it, it was nearly midnight and the moment you had with Javi on the dance floor was long forgotten.

Or so you thought.

It had been a long night. You were exhausted and your feet ached from the new shoes you picked out to match your dress. You had hoped to possibly find an opening and talk to Javi about what you thought he implied during your dance, but while you were waiting for him to wash up, you passed out cold.

One thing you knew for certain was you were on your side of the bed when you fell asleep. You knew that because your side faced the bathroom and you had rolled over to wait for Javi before you fell asleep. However, you couldn't explain why you woke up around three in the morning with your cheek resting on his shoulder and your arm wrapped around his waist.

Well, maybe you could explain it. It was probably your subconscious trying to seek him out after spending the evening being so close to him. No matter the reason, you knew you had to sneak back to your side of the bed before he woke up, so you slowly began to extract your arm.

"Where're you goin'?" Javi murmured sleepily. Your eyes widened and your heart began to race.

"Nowhere, just go back to sleep," you whispered, pulling your arm away. Just as you were about to roll over, Javi's hand shot out to grab your wrist. You froze, cheek still pressed against his shoulder, and slowly lifted your eyes up to meet his.

It was hard to see in the dark, but from what you could tell, he was wide awake. His dark brown eyes continued to study your face while you fumbled for words.

"Javi?" you said, voice sounding so small in the quiet room. His eyes flickered anxiously between yours for another moment before he came to his decision. In one quick movement, he had rolled you onto your back, his hips fitting perfectly between your legs as he caged you in.

"Javi," you said again, although this time sounding far more breathless and aroused than you intended.

He swallowed tightly, gaze flickering from your eyes to your lips before he whispered, "Do you feel it too, cariño?"

You shifted underneath him, eyelids fluttering when you felt his arousal pressing up against the inside of your thigh.

"Yes," you whispered back.

His mouth crashed against yours in an instant. It was rougher than you expected it to be but you didn't mind. You understood because you felt it, too. All that time wasted, dancing around something that was right in front of you the entire time. It was bound to drive anyone a little crazy, a little hungry.

Before you knew it, your fingers were in his hair, dragging down his shoulders, and then tugging at his shirt, and all the while his mouth remained cemented against yours. He had to pull away to yank his white tshirt over his head and you heard yourself make a pathetic little noise, like you couldn't possibly survive without his kiss, not even for one second.

"Take this off," he panted, lifting your oversized shirt halfway up your torso. You didn't need to be told twice. You flung it off and pulled Javier back down before he even had a chance to take a good look at your bare chest.

Everything was moving so fast but given the amount of time it took you to get there, it felt like a fucking eternity. He expertly tugged your shorts and underwear off while your tongues fought for dominance in each other's mouths. It wasn't even until you felt his fingers brush against your cunt that you realized you were entirely undressed.

"Oh, god... Javi!" you cried out brokenly when he slipped two fingers inside of you.

His mouth fell to your chin and he made a strangled sound, curling his fingers when he said, "Fuck, baby, when you say my name like that..."

His hand maintained a steady rhythm between your legs, reaching for that spot that made your back curl off the bed every time he thrusted inside. His other hand got lost in your hair, tipping your face so he could feverishly lock his lips with yours while dragging your first orgasm to the surface with a few circles over your sensitive clit.

"Javi! Wait... I'm gonna - I'm gonna come -" you gasped, unable to stop your hips from rolling up and meeting his hand.

"Go ahead, hermosa. I got you."

"No," you whimpered, muscles going tense. You were getting to the point of no return and you needed to stop him. "I wanna - I want you to fuck me, Javi. I - I wanna -"

Your head fell back into the pillow, unable to complete your sentence.

"I am. I'm gonna fuck you," he assured you, lips ghosting the shell of your ear and wrist snapping faster between your thighs. "I'll make you come on my cock, don't worry, baby. Just let go, c'mon, you can do that for me, right?"

"Oh, fuck," you gasped, eyes squeezed shut. "Fuck, fuck, fu- yes, Javi, yes! More... please-"

"Christ, cariño, you're gonna wake the whole fucking hotel," he chuckled, but you were too far gone to care. You tilted your chin to the ceiling, his name echoing off the walls as you came. It felt like your heart was going to beat right out of your chest, like your legs were so weak you may never walk again, yet somehow it wasn't enough. Not for either of you. In fact, it only seemed to make you each more desperate.

Your kisses on his skin became messy, both of you so eager to have the other that there was no room to worry about being too fast or abrasive. Your teeth clashed together when your arm curved around his neck, yanking him down to your level. Your shared hot breaths mingled with each pant and gasp. When you reached down to wrap your fingers around the heavy weight of his cock, he moaned into your open mouth and slid his fingers from your pussy so you could line him up with your entrance, neither of you in any mood to wait a second longer.

"Fu-uck," he groaned when he pushed inside of you, burying himself to the hilt in one go. You gasped and sharply bit down on his shoulder when tears sprung up and threatened to spill down your cheeks.

"You okay?" he panted, planting weak kisses against the side of your face. All you could do was nod. He filled you and stretched you so perfectly that it took your breath away and left you speechless. He nodded, too, lips parted as he puffed for air, then began to rock his hips. Slow at first, then steady and deep.

"Javi," you moaned in his ear, sending a shiver through his body. "Shit, just like that. Oh my god, Javi, just like that!"

Javier smirked into your shoulder, fucking you with deep, long strokes as you continued to fill the room with your cries and moans.

"Never thought you'd be so goddamn loud, baby," he teased, nipping playfully at your shoulder.

"Sorry," you whined into the air. Your jaw was clenched tight, fingers clawing uselessly at his broad shoulders while he continued to pump in and out a little bit harder, a little bit faster, setting loose one of the tears that welled up in your eyes.

"Don't be sorry, I fucking love it," he groaned. He lifted himself up so he could watch your face contort with each devastating thrust. "Fucking love how you say my name. Dreamed about it for so long, you have no idea-"

"Me, too," you moaned, a second tear trickling down your cheek. You wrapped your legs around his waist, holding onto him tightly as he began to fuck you faster. His eyes flickered down to your bare chest, breasts bouncing from the force of his thrusts. Craning his neck down, he latched onto one with a groan, teeth grazing enticingly over your nipple before sucking the other one into his mouth.

"God, you're so perfect," he mumbled into the space between your breasts. "So fucking perfect, hermosa. Drove me fucking crazy all night."

Your heart stuttered before grabbing the sides of his head and pulling him up for a deep kiss. Every time he slammed inside of you, it had you seeing stars. You felt completely at his mercy, unable to think about anything else except him, him, him.

"Tell me you want more," he demanded, pulling away from your kiss so he could look you in the eye. His eyes were blown wide with lust and a few dark hairs were beginning to stick to his forehead, the image so captivating that he had you nodding dumbly to his request.

"Yes, Javi, please," you moaned, "more, please, fuck me-"

"No, I mean-"

His hips slowed and he cupped your face, chest heaving and lips parted for air as he stared down at you imploringly. "I mean, tell me you want more than just tonight. Tell me there's something else here."

You blinked rapidly and nodded, stunned he would even have to ask when you had always been the one to prefer relationships. Hardly trusting yourself to speak, you whispered, "Yeah. I want more than just tonight. I want more than just this."

A smile stretched across his face right before he lunged down to capture your lips with his own. His hips resumed their pace, snapping steadily into you and pushing you higher and higher until you stiffened and cried out his name.

"Oh, fuck. Oh, shit," he muttered, hips stuttering against you, his name still tumbling from your mouth as the last of your orgasm rippled through your body. "Baby - look at me," he begged, and it wasn't until that moment you realized your eyelids had even shut.

Tiredly, you opened your eyes to gaze up at him. The way he was looking at you caused a lump to form in your throat and you had to suppress a shiver. It was too intense all of the sudden, the air thickening between you in a matter of seconds.

"Come for me, Javi," you murmured lowly. You brought a shaky hand up to card through his damp hair, watching as his eyebrows pinched and his chin dropped, pulling out of you quickly and sitting back on his heels to fist his cock. Your hand fell back to the cool sheets beside you, unable to look away. He was hunched above you, one fist pressed into the mattress and the other jerking himself off until he stilled with a deep groan, painting your stomach with his sticky release. You couldn't even let yourself blink, doing your best to commit every detail to memory until he collapsed next to you with a heavy sigh.

"Fucking Christ," he grumbled, forearm tossed over his eyes. You giggled, face warming when you heard how raspy you sounded. Javier removed his arm and turned his head to look at you with a lopsided grin.

"You're a screamer, hermosa."

"Javi!" you cried out softly, but your broken voice only further proved his argument. He chuckled and rolled onto his side to push some hair away from your eyes.

"I was expecting a phone call from the front desk ten minutes ago."

"Shut up, Javi!" you whined, covering your face with your palms.

"Don't be embarrassed, baby, I love it," he said while pulling your hands away. You bit your lip and peered up at him, searching his face for any sign of regret and finding none. Then his face softened and he swallowed nervously before adding, "I'm in love with you."

He said it so quietly, so sweetly, that it had you wondering if you were hearing things. But then you saw the anxious look in his eye and your pulse skyrocketed.

"Really?" you asked in disbelief. Slowly, he nodded.

"Yeah. I think I've been in love with you for a while," he admitted, tracing an invisible line down your cheek.

You laughed and two fresh tears fell when you said, "I love you, too."

His mouth crashed against yours in relief and you wrapped your arms around his neck, matching smiles pressing together in stunned happiness.

"I'm sorry I wasted so much time and didn't tell you sooner," he murmured while stroking your hair.

"It doesn't matter," you replied, "we have each other now."

Javi smiled and kissed the tip of your nose.

"So, now what?" he asked.

"Now? Now I would really like to take a shower," you said, then grinned when you added, "and maybe in the morning we can do this all over again."

He laughed and rolled to his side so you could get out of bed. When his eyes locked onto your ass as you made your way to the bathroom in the dark, he flung the covers off and leapt out of bed to follow you.

"I think we're gonna need a late check out."

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[bearforcecaptions]

The spell worked, sort of, but not how I wanted. I did have the body of my dreams – I was Garrett now, but I didn’t realize the catch was that I wouldn’t be able to control what I’m doing unless I’m totally alone. And Garrett, or, me, I guess – I’m nearly never alone! The frat house pretty much always has someone in it, and I’m super popular, too. I thought being Garrett would be fun and easy, but stuck like this, it’s torture!

I figured out the ritual from this old book I found at that occult shop downtown, thinking it would be a quick way out of my boring life and into something… well, something way more interesting. Garrett had it all, or so I thought. Girls loved him, he was in the best shape, and everyone wanted to be his friend. But nobody told me about this weird restriction, or maybe I just didn’t read that part carefully enough. I guess the idea was I’d “experience” Garrett’s life, but it’s like watching a movie, except I’m the star and I can only move on my own terms when no one else is around.

And god, my roommate, he’s actually so stupid. When I can’t control my actions, we bro out all the time, but he’s so vapid. I guess I’m not much better, but it’s actually infuriating. You’d think we could have a conversation that’s not about girls, parties, sports, or video games. But no, every time he starts talking, it’s like Garrett’s body just falls right into the rhythm of it, responding automatically. I tried fighting it at first, but it’s like this autopilot takes over, and I’m just... stuck.

I’ve been scouring the room whenever I get a chance to control things, like right now, looking for any sign or clue on how to undo this. There has to be something I missed. I rummaged through his messy closet, which is packed with clothes, gym stuff, and random junk, none of it useful. The guy keeps his stuff in total chaos, and I feel weirdly exposed, like I’m actually pawing through my own things.

Shit, no, is that the door jangling? I thought I would have a couple of hours to try and figure out how to fix this. Who the hell knows when I’ll get another chan-

Fuuck, bro. Why’s my roomie home early? Thought he went to his ‘rents for the weekend. I was just about to jerk one out too. Ah well, maybe he’ll be down for some Call of Duty or something. I could use a beer.

“Yo, dude, what’s up? You back already?” I say, grinning like an idiot as I lean against the door frame, flexing a bit without even realizing it. Dude probably thinks I’m just chillin’, but nah, I’m feelin' like a boss.

He laughs, dropping his bag by the door and shrugging. “Yeah, man, got bored at home. Figured I’d head back early. Parents were driving me nuts.”

“Oh, for sure, dude,” I nod, grabbing a can of beer from the mini-fridge by my bed. “Parents, am I right? They just don’t get it, bro.” I crack it open, chugging half of it in one go, feeling the cool rush. Damn, that’s good.

He slaps my shoulder, laughing. “Dude, I swear, it’s like every time I go back, it’s the same speech about responsibility and blah blah blah. Like, whatever, right?”

“Oh, totally, man,” I laugh, shrugging it off. “Why they gotta be like that, y’know? We’re just out here living, they don’t get it.” I toss him a beer, feeling that chill vibe kickin’ in, like nothing in the world matters but just hanging with my bro. This is what it’s all about – no worries, no drama, just cold beers and good times.

“Bro, I’m feelin’ a COD sesh,” I say, grabbing the controller off the couch. “You down?”

He grins. “Hell yeah, let’s wreck some noobs.”

We crash down on the couch, controllers in hand, beers in easy reach, and it’s like all the worries in the world just melt away. I’m trash-talkin’, throwin’ down taunts, and we’re both laughing so hard my sides hurt. I don’t even remember the last time I felt this alive.

“You’re so bad, dude,” I laugh, jabbing him in the ribs as I get another kill. “How are you still this bad?”

“Shut up, bro!” he shoves me back, laughing too, and I’m grinning like an idiot.

Fuck, life is good, I think, as I take a gulp of my beer. I got my bros, I got my beer, and I got my games. What more does a dude need? Life’s good.

[writingsoftarnishedsilver]

Sex | Sebastian Sallow x Reader

This fucking song and this fucking idea have been floating around in my head for months and I think I just gotta get it out before I go NUTS!!! I hope y'all enjoy.

This is... not very plot driven tbh, just pretty much longing and smut.

Words: ~9,200

Tags: Shameless Smut, Modern AU, Plus/Mid-Size Reader, Reader Insert, Female MC, No Y/N, Post-Hogwarts, Chonky Seb Supremacy, Angst, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Longing and Pining

The walk to the car is excruciating.

And it’s not because of the crowd, not because of the neon-lit chaos of the parking lot, or because people are weaving between cars, shouting to their friends, the leftover adrenaline from the concert still pulsing through everyone’s veins.

It’s excruciating because of you.

Because you’re tipsy and giggling, clinging to Sebastian’s wrist as you stumble over the uneven pavement in those ridiculous platform heels that you insisted on wearing even though you knew you’d be walking half a mile back to the car.

Because your top is tight—way too tight—clinging in ways that make his pulse skip, the fabric stretching over curves that he’s spent ten fucking years trying not to stare at.

Because your jeans are hugging your thighs like they were painted onto you, and he’s trying so goddamn hard not to think about how good they look, how good you look, how much better you’d look without them.

And then there's your makeup—the dark, sultry eyeshadow, the perfectly lined eyes, the lipstick that started out precise but is now just slightly smudged from sweat, from drinking, from running your tongue over your lips all night.

It’s killing him.

You laugh suddenly, squeezing his arm as you stumble again.

“God, my feet hurt,” you whine dramatically, pressing your forehead against his bicep like the weight of your suffering is too much to bear. “Why the fuck did I wear these?”

Sebastian snorts, steadying you easily. “I asked the same thing when I picked you up, love.”

You lift your head, squinting up at him, cheeks flushed from the alcohol, the heat, the pure, unfiltered joy of the night.

“They make me taller,” you say, lifting one foot and wiggling it mid-air for emphasis before dropping it back down with a clunk.

Sebastian shakes his head, amused but also distracted, too fucking aware of you tonight.

“You’re still short,” he mutters.

Your mouth drops open in mock offence and you shove him, but your balance is shit, so you just end up gripping his arm harder, your nails pressing into his skin.

Sebastian swallows. He feels everything—your warmth, your weight against him, the way your fingers curl slightly against his forearm, the way your perfume is mixing with the sweat on your skin, and fuck—

He clenches his jaw. Keeps walking.

You don’t let go.

“That was such a good show,” you murmur, your breath warm against his shoulder.

Sebastian swallows. Nods. “Yeah.”

Then you tilt your head up at him, narrowing your eyes.

“You’re being so quiet,” you tease, squeezing his arm. “Did you not have fun? You didn’t even get a single drink.”

Sebastian exhales sharply through his nose, smirking just enough to cover the fact that his pulse is pounding.

“Yeah, well. One of us had to drive.”

You laugh, nudging your hip against his.

“Responsible and sexy,” you tease. “God, you really are the whole package, aren't you?”

His throat goes dry.

You always do this when you're tipsy. You get flirty, bolder than usual, pushing boundaries you'll never fully cross. You say things, teasing, reckless things, that curl around his ribs and settle deep into the spaces between them. Things that would mean everything if he thought, even for a second, that you meant them.

But you don't. You never do. By morning, it'll be like it never happened.

You'll wake up, groggy and hungover, your memories softened at the edges, and everything you said, every look and every touch, will be reduce to a joke, and Sebastian will have to pretend it didn't mean anything to him either, just like he always does.

He knows this.

But tonight? Tonight, it’s harder to keep his head on straight.

Because you look like this. Because your boyfriend isn’t here. Because your fingers are wrapped around his arm, and your perfume is still lingering in his lungs, and you keep staring up at him like you’re waiting for him to say something. Like you’re daring him to say something.

Sebastian forces out a low chuckle, looking away.

“Let’s get you in the car, trouble.”

He unlocks it with a quick flick of his keys, grateful for the distraction, for something to do with his hands other than wrap them around your waist and haul you up against him.

He slides into the driver’s seat and barely gets the door shut before you’re groaning dramatically and stretching out.

“Oh my god,” you sigh, reaching down with clumsy fingers to unbuckle your heels. “I swear to Merlin, I think my feet are broken.”

Sebastian smirks, watching as you yank them off one by one, dropping them onto the floor with two loud, echoing clunks.

“Told you,” he mutters, reaching for his seatbelt.

“I don’t need your attitude right now,” you huff, kicking your feet up onto the dashboard before twisting to face him.

Then, before he can even register what’s happening, you shift—leaning over the center console, stretching yourself across his lap like you belong there.

His entire body locks up.

Fuck.

Your hair spills over his legs, soft waves spread over denim, the warmth of you pressed against him. You twist a little, adjusting yourself, completely oblivious to how every tiny shift of your body is undoing him.

Sebastian exhales sharply through his nose, staring straight ahead, gripping the wheel like it’s the only thing tethering him to sanity.

“You comfortable?” he mutters.

You hum, smiling lazily, your cheek resting on his thigh.

“Mhm.”

His pulse jumps at the sound, but you’re not even thinking about it, are you? You’re not thinking about what it means, or about how he can feel the heat of your body through his jeans, how desperately he’s trying not to not get hard right now, how much he wants—

He exhales sharply, tilts his head back against the headrest, and fights the urge to slam his fist against the dashboard.

This is going to kill me.

Sebastian puts the car in drive.

Your place is only twenty minutes out of town. All Sebastian has to do is survive you laying across his lap and not get pulled over for the blatant seat belt violation happening right now. Simple.

Except it’s not.

Because every time he shifts gears, he feels you. And every time he exhales, he catches the scent of your shampoo, and because your breath is warm through his jeans, your fingers idly tracing along his thigh like this is just something you do, something normal, something casual, something it absolutely isn’t.

Then you start talking, and part one of his mission—survive you being in his lap—becomes infinitely harder.

“You ever think about your exes?”

Your voice is light, teasing, and the question comes out of nowhere.

Sebastian’s grip tightens on the wheel. “Like who?” he mutters.

You hum, fingertips still lazily dragging patterns over his thigh.

“Emilia?” you guess. “Or what about… what was her name? Harper?”

Sebastian scoffs, his pulse pounding. “Not even a little."

You grin like you don’t believe him. “Not even for the—"

“Don’t.”

You huff a dramatic sigh. “Sebastian, it’s okay if you still think about them.”

“I don’t.”

That’s the truth.

Because he doesn’t think about Emilia. Or Harper. Or any of them. Not when every girl he’s ever been with has only been a placeholder for the one person he can’t fucking have.

You hum. "I miss some of mine."

Sebastian exhales sharply, jaw flexing.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

He should not be listening to this, but you keep talking, your voice low, thoughtful, the alcohol making you too loose, too honest.

“I mean, not them, really,” you continue. “Just, like… the sex.”

Sebastian almost veers off the fucking road.

He physically has to adjust his grip on the wheel, blinking hard against the heat that flares in his gut, against the way his brain immediately starts supplying images he shouldn’t be thinking about.

You miss the sex. Not the relationship. Not the romance.

The sex.

“You literally have a boyfriend,” he grinds out, his voice tight.

He hears you exhale, feels you shift slightly in his lap. “So what?”

Sebastian finally glances down at you, just for a second, just to make sure he actually heard you right. Because you can’t be serious.

But you are.

You’re staring at him, lips parted, the distant glow of headlights and streetlamps casting golden light over your face.

Sebastian lets out a short, humorless laugh. “'So what'?” he repeats, shaking his head. “Jesus, you really are drunk.”

You make a small, amused noise, your fingers tapping idly against your thigh.

“I’m not that drunk,” you murmur.

Sebastian exhales sharply through his nose. “Yeah?” he mutters. “Could’ve fooled me.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes. “I just meant that some of my exes have been better in bed than him, that's all."

Sebastian hums noncommittally, keeping his eyes on the road, but his grip on the wheel is tight. Because what the fuck is he supposed to do with that information?

On one hand—good. He’d never liked your boyfriend anyway. The guy was mediocre at best, the kind of safe, boring choice you made when you were trying to convince yourself you wanted stability instead of passion. On the other—

Sebastian doesn’t exactly want to hear about how great some other guy’s dick was.

But the damage is already done. Because now, he’s thinking about it. Thinking about you with them, thinking about the ones who were better, wondering what made them better.

Was it how they touched you? How they talked to you? Was it the way they knew exactly how to pull you apart, how to ruin you? Was it—

The sensible thing to do is change the subject. Ignore it. Pretend you never said it and focus on not losing his goddamn mind while you’re still draped across him, still warm against his lap, still too close.

But then—because he’s a fucking idiot—the words slip out before he can stop them.

“Who was best?”

You stretch a little, completely oblivious to the way every tiny movement of yours is sending heat pooling in his gut.

“Well,” you muse, eyes glinting with something dangerous, “do you want, like, a ranked list? Or just an all-time favorite?”

Sebastian exhales sharply through his nose. “You know what? Forget I asked.”

“No, no,” you tease, scooting up slightly. “You asked. You wanna know.”

I really fucking don’t.

But he stays silent. Because some stupid, masochistic part of him actually does.

You pretend to think for a moment, eyes flicking to the windshield, lips curving in a way that’s going to fucking kill him.

“Probably Caleb,” you finally say, voice thoughtful, casual, like you’re discussing a meal you once had instead of someone who used to fuck you.

Sebastian hates how his stomach twists.

“Caleb,” he repeats, expression unreadable.

“Yeah.”

Sebastian shifts his grip on the wheel, fighting the urge to roll his shoulders, shake off the tension creeping up his spine.

He remembers Caleb.

Tall. Broad-shouldered. Stupid fit. A Muggle who played rugby at Uni. Arsehole.

He also remembers how pissed he was when you first started seeing him, how much he fucking hated the way Caleb used to pull you into his lap at parties like he owned you.

Sebastian clears his throat. “Huh.”

You grin, shifting again, your hand brushing against Sebastian's arm now. “He was good."

"Why?"

The question slips out before he can stop it and you smirk, and Sebastian knows—he knows—he’s about to regret asking.

“He was just…” you hum, tilting your head like you’re choosing your words carefully. “He was… I don’t know. Rough, I guess? He liked taking control. Giving orders. That kind of thing.”

Sebastian grips the wheel so hard it might snap in half.

Because now he’s picturing it. Picturing you, pressed down against a bed, hips pinned, whimpering, gasping, hands gripping sheets, your voice breathy as you—

Stop.

Sebastian's jaw locks, his pulse hammering at his throat. “I didn’t need that image, thanks."

You laugh softly. "Why not? I thought maybe you wanted to take notes."

He laughs, low and dry, shaking his head. “In your dreams.”

Your smirk widens. “Mm. Definitely in my dreams."

Sebastian nearly groans.

Because fuck you for saying that. For laughing softly, for dragging your fingers against his stomach as you shift again, like you can’t stop pressing yourself against him. For smirking when you say it, for the way your voice dips, lower, softer, like you’re confessing something, like you’re actually being honest.

Sebastian holds in a sigh. He is not playing this game.

Because you’re drunk, and you’re not thinking about what you’re saying, and in the morning, you won’t remember how you said it, how your voice curled around the words like you meant them, and because your fucking boyfriend is waiting for you to get home.

So he laughs, low, dry, dismissive.

“Sure,” he mutters. “That’s a nice little fantasy you got there.”

“You’re such a dick,” you say, still amused.

Sebastian hums, flicking the turn signal as he veers onto the quiet stretch of road leading out of town.

Eight more minutes.

Just eight more minutes and he can drop you off. He can shake off the feeling of your fingers grazing his stomach through his t-shirt and of your weight pressing against his lap like it’s the most normal fucking thing in the world.

Eight more minutes and this night will be over.

Then you speak again.

"...Have you ever thought about it?"

“Thought about what?”

You grin, and it’s slow, lazy, dangerous.

“Us,” you say simply.

Sebastian stiffens.

Has he thought about it?

Fuck, he’s spent years trying not to think about it.

Not to think about you pressed beneath him, his hands gripping your waist, his mouth dragging over your skin, your voice breathy in his ear. Not to think about the way you’d sound, the way you’d fall apart, the way you’d look wrecked and flushed and fucking perfect. Not to think about how you’d feel under his hands, under his mouth, how you’d—

Sebastian shoves the thought away violently.

Exhales.

He's not about to tell you that.

“No.”

You laugh softly. Sebastian’s jaw tenses. And then you sit up, just a little, your breath warm against his neck.

“I have,” you say.

Sebastian stops breathing, his pulse slamming against his ribs as he flicks his gaze toward you—just for a second, just long enough to see the way you’re looking at him.

You’re not laughing now. There’s no teasing smirk, no smugness either.

Sebastian swallows hard, forcing his eyes back to the road, trying to think, trying to process, trying to decide if this is real or just another one of your drunken, fleeting moments that won’t mean a damn thing in the morning.

Then your hands move, fingers dragging down his chest, slow, deliberate, your touch featherlight but undeniable.

Sebastian grits his teeth, forcing himself to focus, forcing himself to keep the car steady, forcing himself to—

Your fingertips graze the waistband of his jeans, hooking slightly under the hem, and that’s it.

Sebastian's hand shoots out, gripping your wrist, stopping you.

The car is silent. Just the hum of the engine. Just the sound of both of you breathing hard.

He exhales, slow, controlled. But when he speaks, his voice is wrecked.

“Don’t.”

A pause.

"Why not?"

"Because you don't mean it," he mutters, voice rough, like he’s forcing the words out through sheer willpower.

"...What if I do mean it?"

Sebastian slams on the brakes. The car jerks to a stop, tires skidding slightly on the empty country road, the sudden silence deafening.

He stares at you, his pulse hammering, his breath coming too short, too fast.

"Are you fucking with me?"

"Do I look like I’m fucking with you?"

Sebastian exhales hard through his nose.

Yes. No. Maybe. Fuck if he knows.

Because this is what you do.

You flirt. You tease. You get close, just close enough to ruin him, and then you pull away like it never meant anything at all. And right now, you’re still in his lap with your fingers still hooked in his jeans and your breath hot against his neck, and this... this is dangerous. If you’re joking, if this is just another round of you pushing boundaries you never actually mean to cross, it will break him.

Sebastian tightens his grip on your wrist just for a second—just long enough to make sure you’re listening, really fucking listening.

“This isn’t a joke,” he says, voice rough, uneven. “This isn’t a game, it's not—”

"Sebastian."

Suddenly, you don’t seem drunk at all.

The teasing lilt in your voice disappears, evaporating into the thick silence between you. There’s no lazy amusement, no coy smirk tugging at the corner of your lips, no playful glint in your eyes like there always is when you push him just to see how far he’ll let you go. It’s all gone.

Instead, you are sharp, your gaze cutting through the dim light of the car, slicing right into him.

Sebastian feels the shift like a physical thing, like the weight of something heavy pressing down on his chest. His grip tightens on the wheel out of instinct, like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded, but it does nothing to steady him.

Because suddenly, you are steady.

You pull back just slightly, just enough to give him an out, to give him space, but you don’t really go anywhere. You are still there, your body still warm on his, your breathing still uneven, just like his. You simply leave just enough distance between you for him to feel it, the unbearable stretch of space that’s always existed, the one he has spent years pretending doesn’t hurt.

For a moment, you just look at him.

Sebastian sees the hesitation in your expression, the flicker of uncertainty in the way your mouth parts slightly, like you’re on the verge of speaking but don’t quite know how. You look like you’re standing at the edge of something dangerous, like you’re deciding whether to step back or let yourself fall.

Then, you inhale. Slow, measured, determined. And you let it all out.

"I’ve always imagined it was you," you say, voice quiet but unwavering, like you've already made peace with the confession before it even leaves your lips. "Every single time I’ve had sex since I lost my virginity, I’ve imagined it was you."

Sebastian’s stomach plummets, and for a split second, he genuinely wonders if he’s actually dead. If he crashed the fucking car and this is what the afterlife feels like—sitting in the driver’s seat with his best friend sprawled across his lap, admitting the thing he has spent years torturing himself over.

You keep going.

"If hell is real, I’m fucking damned," you huff a laugh, your voice coming out rough, frayed at the edges, "because I’ve touched myself to you more than any reasonable amount."

Sebastian makes a wrecked sound in the back of his throat, one that he barely recognizes as his own. His hands clench into fists at his sides, fingers twitching like they don’t know what to do with themselves. Because what the fuck is he supposed to do with this With you?

You're rewriting everything, burning down every carefully constructed wall he has built to keep himself from wanting you too much.

And then you land the final fucking blow.

"You want the truth? I’ve been in love with you since we were fifteen," you whisper. "And I want nothing more than for you to take me home at least one fucking time."

Sebastian’s body locks up. His vision tilts. Everything inside him goes too tight, too hot, too overwhelming. His fingers are trembling. His pulse is out of control. His mouth is dry.

No, this isn't a game, or some some drunken, fleeting moment. This isn’t a joke.

This is real.

And he doesn’t know how to breathe.

You let out a short, humorless laugh, shaking your head. "And I get it if you don’t feel the same," you say, voice softer now, almost like you don’t want to say it, almost like the idea is too painful, "if that’s why you’re acting like this, then I get it."

You laugh again, except this time it’s self-deprecating and bitter. "I mean, for fuck’s sake," you mutter. "I’ve got a boyfriend anyway. This is so fucked up, I know. I just, I don’t know what happened. But something inside me snapped and I can’t hold back any longer."

Sebastian’s jaw tightens. Because yeah, this is so fucking fucked up. And yeah, you do have a boyfriend and he is literally waiting at home for you right now. But Sebastian doesn’t have it in him to care.

Because you love him.

For ten years, he’s wanted this. Ten fucking years of pretending, of ignoring, of pushing it down so deep it nearly killed him. Every drunken flirtation, every lingering touch, every fucking time you smiled at him with that look in your eyes that made him wonder if you wanted it too, and now he knows you did. Knows you do.

And you—

Fuck, you think he doesn’t feel the same?!

"Just forget I said anything," you mumble. "Seriously. I don’t know what I was thinking, I—"

Before you can talk yourself further into this spiral, Sebastian's hand shoots out, gripping your wrist.

You freeze.

He exhales sharply through his nose, his grip tight, his pulse racing, erratic, wild. Then, his voice low, rough, wrecked beyond repair—

"I've been in love with you since we were fifteen, too."

Your lips part, barely breathing, completely still, like you’re trying to process the weight of those words, like you’ve lived in a reality where that wasn’t true for so long that you don’t know how to exist in one where it is.

And then your face crumbles.

"Sebastian," you whisper, voice breaking, shattered.

And that’s it. That’s fucking it.

Sebastian crushes his mouth against yours.

It’s not slow. It’s not careful. It’s ten years of frustration, ten years of jealousy, of biting his tongue, of pretending he didn’t want you, and ten years of believing he could never have you—all of it, all at once, breaking loose, crashing down.

And you kiss him back.

Hard.

Desperate.

Your hands grip his shoulders, his jaw, fisting into his hair as you pull him closer, closer, like you need this just as badly as he does, like you’re starving for him.

Sebastian groans into your mouth, swallowing the sound of you gasping against his lips, swallowing everything he’s ever wanted from you.

His mouth moves to your jaw, trailing down your neck, sucking a dark, bruising mark against your pulse point just to hear you whimper.

"Tell me again," he growls against your skin, voice rough, demanding.

Your nails dig into his arms, your breath uneven, panting.

"Tell me again how you've thought about me," he mutters, dragging his lips up to your ear. "How you imagined it was me," he rasps, fingers slipping under the hem of your top, gripping your bare waist.

You let out a soft, broken whimper, your fingers curling into his hair and pulling. He grips your jaw, tilting your head so you have no choice but to look at him.

Your lips part, eyes glassy, dark, and fucking desperate. "I imagined you every time."

Sebastian throws the car into reverse.

Because he’s not taking you back to your pathetic excuse of a boyfriend. Not when you’ve spent the entire night driving him insane, not when you're touching him, teasing him, whispering in his ear about the exes you never actually wanted because they weren't him.

Not when you just told him you’ve loved him for a decade.

No, he’s taking you home, and the second he gets you there, he’s going to ruin you.

You blink at him, dazed, lips kiss-bitten and swollen, still straddling his lap.

“Where are we going?” you ask breathlessly.

Sebastian’s grip tightens on your waist as he turns the wheel.

“My place."

Your eyes darken, and then your hands are everywhere—fisting into his hair, sliding down his chest, curling under the hem of his t-shirt like you need to feel his skin and touch as much of him as possible.

You trail hot, open-mouthed kisses down his jaw, your breath warm, wrecked, and he groans, tipping his head back slightly as your teeth graze his throat.

“Fuck,” he mutters, barely able to focus on the road as your hands wander lower.

You shift in his lap, your thighs spreading over him, and Sebastian hisses, cursing under his breath as you press down against him, rolling your hips just slightly.

And then your hands move lower.

Your fingers trace the waistband of his jeans, toying with the button, flicking it open. His hips jerk up instinctively and your laugh is breathy, lips grazing against his jaw.

“You drive too well for someone getting felt up,” you murmur against his skin, your voice all smug amusement and heat and fucking destruction as you drag a hand over the bulge in his jeans.

Sebastian groans, a deep, wrecked sound in his throat, his hips jerking into your palm despite himself.

“Fuck, don’t—”

“Don’t what?”

Sebastian slams his fist against the steering wheel, jaw clenched, desperate to focus, desperate to not lose his mind completely.

"If you keep doing that," he growls, low, warning, "I'm gonna pull over and fuck you in this car."

Your breath catches. Sebastian watches as your pupils blow wide, lips parting slightly, grip on him tightening.

His cock twitches in his jeans.

Jesus fucking Christ.

The drive to his place is the longest fifteen minutes of his fucking life. By the time he pulls into his driveway, he’s barely holding himself together.

His jeans are too tight, his body is on fire, his pulse is a reckless, unforgiving thing pounding against his skin, and you—you are still in his lap, still pressed against him, still dragging your lips over his jaw, still palming over him, still teasing, still ruining him.

Sebastian barely gets the car into park before he’s gripping your hips, hauling you against him, mouthing at your throat like he’s starved for it.

You gasp, fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, rocking your hips over his lap like you’re hellbent on making him suffer.

And he lets you. For ten long fucking seconds, he lets you.

Lets you grind down on him, lets you drag your nails over his scalp, lets you press hot, open-mouthed kisses against his jaw, lets you whisper his name against his lips, against his skin, against his fucking soul.

Then—

“Inside,” he mutters, voice rough, strained beyond repair.

You blink at him, dazed, breath uneven and wanting. And fuck, he’s never wanted anything more than this. More than you.

The second he pulls you out of the car, you laugh, breathless, fingers gripping his shirt, swaying slightly in his grasp.

Sebastian catches you easily, one arm sliding low over your waist, his palm pressing into the soft curve of your hip, and fuck, he loves the way you feel against him, like you were meant to be there.

You tilt your head back, looking at him through half-lidded, dark-lashed eyes, “You gonna fuck me out here?” you murmur, smirking as you lean up, breath warm against his throat.

Sebastian groans, his hands tightening on you. “Don’t tempt me.”

You giggle, bright and shameless, dragging your nails down his chest, lower, lower, until he’s grabbing your wrist and tugging you along.

The second the front door closes, Sebastian is on you.

His hands in your hair, his mouth crashing against yours, his hips pressing you against the door as he kisses you so hard it knocks the breath from your lungs.

And you moan into it, fisting your hands in his shirt, dragging him closer, biting at his lower lip.

Sebastian growls, pressing into you, his knee slipping between your thighs, forcing them apart.

You let out a whimper, grinding down against him, your fingers tugging at the hem of his t-shirt, pushing it up, trying to get it off.

Sebastian laughs, breathless, rough, dragging his lips down your jaw, sucking another mark onto your throat just to hear you gasp.

“You’re impatient, aren’t you?”

You huff, rolling your hips against his thigh, lips curled into something dark, something smug, something absolutely fucking ruinous.

“You’ve made me wait a decade, Sebastian.”

Sebastian’s grip tightens. and then he’s lifting you, hands firm under your thighs, carrying you through the house like he’s done this a hundred times before, like deep down he’s always known exactly where this was going to end.

You laugh again, thrilled, breathless, arms wrapped tight around his neck as he kicks open his bedroom door and drops you onto the bed.

Sebastian stands at the edge of it, looking down at you—panting, flushed, wild-eyed, ruined before he’s even touched you properly.

You smirk.

“You just gonna stand there, Sallow?”

Sebastian smiles, dark and dangerous. Then he’s crawling over you, one knee pressing between your thighs, his hands bracketing your face, his lips ghosting over yours, teasing, testing, torturing.

His voice is low, a promise, a warning.

“Not a fucking chance.”

He takes your mouth again, swallowing your breathy little gasps as he kisses you deep, slow at first, dragging his tongue against yours, learning the taste of you, the heat of you, memorizing this moment in case the world ends tomorrow and this is all he ever gets.

And you fucking moan.

Loud and wrecked and needy, and it does something to him, something devastating, something that makes him tilt his hips down, pressing into you properly, rolling against you in a way that makes you gasp against his lips.

“Fuck, Sebastian—”

His fingers work automatically, popping the button of your jeans, sliding the zipper down, tugging the fabric past your hips—revealing more, more, more.

Sebastian has seen you a thousand times—in every possible way, in every possible light.

Drunk off your ass at parties, laughing with your head thrown back, cheeks flushed, eyeliner smudged from the heat of the room. Half-asleep, curled up in the passenger seat of his car, your fingers twitching as you dream. Post-workout, sweaty and flushed, hair stuck to your forehead, chest rising and falling as you try to catch your breath. Dressed to the nines for some god-awful date with some guy who wasn’t him, your perfume lingering in his car long after he dropped you off.

And yet, he’s never seen you like this.

Laid out in his bed, your lips swollen, your chest rising and falling in quick, uneven breaths, your jeans halfway down your legs beneath his hands, the anticipation humming between you so thick it feels like drowning.

You’re reaching for your top, fingers curling around the hem, ready to peel it off—not that it ever hid much anyway.

Sebastian should help you. He should be the one ripping that top off, the one dragging it up and over your head with shaking fingers and an aching hunger that’s been simmering under his skin for years.

But he doesn’t. He just watches as you pull it up slowly, revealing more, more, more.

His mouth goes dry.

Sebastian can’t stop looking.

You are a masterpiece.

Soft and plush, all curves and warmth, the kind of body meant to be touched, gripped, worshiped. The gentle rise and fall of your breath makes your stomach shift beneath the dim bedroom light, and fuck, he wants to put his hands there, feel the way your skin gives under his palms, kiss every inch of it. Your thighs—thick, full, fucking perfect—press against his thigh, and he thinks about spreading them, about feeling them squeeze around his waist, about sinking his teeth into them just to hear the way you’d gasp. Your hips, generous, tempting, made for his hands, make his fingers dig into the sheets, because all he can think about is gripping them, holding you down, guiding you. Your breasts, full and heavy, barely contained by the sheer lace of your bra, stretch against the fabric, making his vision tilt, his pulse hammer, his restraint fucking snap.

And then there’s everything else—the parts of you that make his chest ache, make his stomach tighten, make him wonder how the fuck he’s supposed to survive this. The stretch marks that paint your skin in soft, pale ribbons, evidence of time, of change, of life of a body that has existed beside him for years, growing, shifting, becoming something that was always beautiful but now feels like it was made for him. The softness that wasn’t there when you were younger, but grew with you, grew beside him, shaped by late-night drive-thrus, three too many beers, appetizers you never hesitated to share with him, the comfort of knowing you never had to shrink yourself. The dimples, the dips, the folds where your skin creases when you move, the evidence of a life fully lived, of a body that has only ever been yours—until now. Until him.

And you—you’re wearing a matching set. Black lace. Thin straps. Delicate details that don’t really hide a damn thing.

"Look at you," Sebastian says breathlessly, fingers tracing along the edge of your underwear, teasing. "Dressed up all pretty. You knew, didn’t you?"

You hum, lazily smug, shifting your hips just slightly, just enough to make his brain fucking short-circuit.

"Maybe," you murmur, biting your lip. "Maybe I wanted to be prepared."

Sebastian’s breath stutters, something deep, something dangerous curling in his gut, something possessive and wrecking and unbearable, because fuck—

Prepared? Did you know you were confessing him tonight? Did you get dressed for this moment? Or is he just filling your boyfriend's shoes?

His stomach twists, the thought curdling in his chest, bitter and raw, but then—

Does it matter? Because you're his now.

Sebastian leans in, pressing his mouth to the soft swell of your stomach, dragging his lips along your skin, his fingers curling into your thighs, his breath hot, his hands desperate.

“God, you have no fucking idea how much I love your body, do you?"

You make a wrecked little sound, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling.

Sebastian grins against your skin, dark and dangerous, pressing his lips lower, biting, sucking, making sure he leaves marks, making sure you feel exactly how much he’s wanted this.

You shift beneath him, breathless, giggling as your fingers find the hem of his shirt.

"Only fair," you murmur, tugging at the fabric, your voice teasing, expectant.

Sebastian huffs out a breathless laugh, shaking his head, but he lets you drag it up, lets you peel it off him, lets you look.

Because of course you should get to look.

He just wasn’t expecting to care so fucking much.

Call him arrogant, but he’s always known he’s good-looking. It’s never been a secret.

The wrong women (everyone but you) have always flocked to him like moths to a flame, drawn to the sharpness of his jaw, the cut of his smirk, the way he carries himself with an easy confidence that makes it seem like he never second-guesses a damn thing.

But this? This is different.

Sebastian never had trouble maintaining a trim figure back at Hogwarts, never gave it much thought beyond Quidditch and dueling and running from the consequences of his own goddamn actions. But adulthood claimed him differently, and that Sallow metabolism slowed to a crawl.

Sebastian is not lean.

And normally? That doesn’t bother him. Normally? He doesn’t care.

But right now, under your hands, under your gaze, in his bed—he does.

Because you’ve always been the most stunning fucking person he’s ever known. Because you could have anyone, and you always did.

Rugby players. Duellists. Healers who spend their breaks lifting weights instead of eating lunch. The kind of men who look like they were chiseled out of stone, sculpted into something untouchable, untouchable except for you—because you’ve had them.

Those were your exes.

And now here Sebastian is, broader, heavier in places they weren’t, softer in places they weren’t. Because he’s never been the type to count macros or meal prep or wake up at the ass crack of dawn to run five miles before work.

He’s still strong, sure—Auror training keeps him fit. But he’s also a man who doesn’t think twice about splitting a second plate of chips with you at dinner, who always finishes your leftovers because “wasting food is a crime”, who drinks pints after work without a second thought, who fills out his shirts more than he used to, who carries weight in his chest, his stomach, his thighs.

And now, here he is—bare in front of you. And you’re staring.

Sebastian wants to say something. Wants to make a joke, wants to shift your focus, wants to ignore the way something unsteady coils in his gut when your gaze drags over him—

Then you breathe out, soft, awed, wrecked.

"Fuck."

Sebastian freezes.

Your hands reach out, palms flattening against his chest, sliding over his skin, tracing down his stomach, your fingers pressing into the flesh there—

"You’re so fucking hot, Sebastian," you murmur, breathless, desperate, like you’re telling him the most obvious thing in the world.

He swallows, something rough and wrecked and disbelieving curling in his chest. "Yeah?"

You hum, dragging your hands back up his chest, your fingers tracing the freckles there, the muscle, the places where he’s softer than he used to be, pressing your lips just below his collarbone.

"Always have been," you hum. "But it's been really fucking unbearable the last few years."

Sebastian laughs, breathless, disbelieving, staring down at you like you just told him the sky is green, like you just shattered some fundamental truth about the universe.

Because fuck off—you’re serious? The last few years?

Oh. Oh. you have a thing for him like this—not when he was lean, not when he was a wiry, arrogant little shit back at Hogwarts, but now. Now, when he’s bigger, broader, heavier.

Something dark, something deeply satisfied, something possessive coils in his chest.

“Oh,” he smirks, his voice low, rough with amusement, with understanding, with something sharp and teasing. “So this is what you’re into?”

You blink up at him, your hands still roaming his chest, and fuck, you look ruined.

Sebastian lets out another low, rough chuckle, dragging his fingers down your body, spreading his weight over you, pinning you to the bed. He grabs your wrists, pressing them above your head, trapping them against the pillows.

“You mean to tell me,” he murmurs, lips hovering just above yours, teasing, testing, “that while you were off fucking all those blokes—”

You inhale sharply, your lips parting, your body arching subtly under him.

“—those assholes with their six-pack abs, the dueling champions, professional fucking athletes—”

You whimper softly, and fuck, he feels it. Feels the way your body reacts to him—not to them, not to some long-lost ex, not to your boyfriend, but to him, to his voice, to his weight pressing you into the mattress.

His grin turns wicked.

“You were picturing this?” he teases, his grip tightening just enough to make you shiver. "Me? All soft and heavy and fucking desperate for you?"

Your breath stutters, your thighs twitching against his hips.

Sebastian chuckles, dragging his lips back up to your ear, smirking when he feels the shiver that runs through you.

"And here I was, thinking I let myself go," he mutters.

Your breath hitches, but before you can say anything, he’s pressing a hot, open-mouthed kiss to your throat, sucking a mark there, then another, and another, branding you, making sure you remember this, making sure you feel it.

Your wrists twitch in his grip, but he doesn’t let you move.

Sebastian fucking loves it. Loves the way you squirm, the way your lips part, the way your chest rises and falls in uneven little breaths, the way you’re looking up at him like you don’t even know how to handle what’s happening to you right now.

His smirk deepens. “Tell me, love,” he murmurs, dragging his lips down your jaw, his teeth grazing your throat, “if this is what you wanted all along, why the fuck did you waste all that time with them?"

Your lips part, your expression flickering between dazed, ruined, and incredulous. And then you scoff.

"Because you weren’t fucking me, Sallow."

Sebastian freezes for a beat. Then two.

Then he laughs—low, rough, something almost mean curling at the edges of it. "No," he murmurs, dragging his lips down your throat, grazing his teeth against your pulse. "I wasn’t. But I am now."

You shudder beneath him, your body arching against his in some helpless, desperate little movement that goes straight to his cock.

"Impatient, are we?" he murmurs, smirking against your skin.

You huff a breathless laugh, hips shifting beneath him, fingers flexing in his grip. "You’ve made me wait ten years. Figure it out."

"You're not the only one who waited, you know—"

Sebastian barely gets the words out before you tug your hands free, fingers reaching for his jeans, already undone from your teasing in the car. And he should be savoring this—should be dragging this out, making you beg for it, for him, for all of it—but you're already shoving his jeans past his hips, and he loses the ability to think entirely.

Then your hand slips beneath the waistband of his briefs, and Sebastian’s entire body tenses, his breath catching as your fingers curl around the length of him, teasing, testing.

“Christ,” he exhales, shuddering, his forehead dropping to yours.

Your eyes flick up to his, and the way you look at him—blown pupils, parted lips, your expression equal parts fascinated and utterly fucking desperate—it makes his cock twitch in your grasp.

He can’t fucking handle this.

His fingers tighten on your thighs, his jaw clenching, his entire body burning with the effort it’s taking not to lose himself completely.

Sebastian grabs your wrist, halting your movements, his grip firm but gentle.

Your brows lift slightly, breathless.

“Seb?”

His smirk is wicked, possessive, completely wrecked. He leans down, dragging his nose along the curve of your jaw, his lips brushing your ear.

"If we're going to do anything," Sebastian exhales sharply. "We might as well fuck. Otherwise, this'll be over before it even starts."

“Oh,” you breathe, dragging your nails lightly down his stomach.

"We've waited ten years for this," he murmurs, dragging his tongue along your skin, feeling the way you shudder. His voice drops lower, rougher, teasing. "So let's make it worth our while."

Your breath catches, your nails pressing into his skin as you tip your head back against the pillow, blinking up at him like you’re still trying to process this moment—this night, this reality where you’re here beneath him, breathless and wanting, where he’s finally allowed to touch you like this.

And then you grin, a little dazed, a little breathless, completely wrecked already, and say:

“Holy shit, we’re actually about to fuck.”

You both freeze, eyes locking, and then you both start laughing, some combination of nerves and disbelief and a decade of waiting for this exact moment finally crashing down at once.

“God,” Sebastian mutters, shaking his head as he presses his forehead against yours, still grinning, still feeling that wrecked, desperate thing curling low in his stomach. “That’s what you have to say right now?”

You giggle, your fingers smoothing over his shoulders, down his chest. “I mean—come on, this is so surreal.”

Sebastian scoffs, nipping at your jaw, pressing a rough, open-mouthed kiss to your throat, humming when you shiver beneath him.

“Oh, I’ll make it real, love, don’t worry.”

And then he’s moving again, hands everywhere, fingers slipping beneath the lace of your bra, under the waistband of your thong, tugging the fabric down your shoulders.

His breath hitches as your breasts spill free, full and heavy and perfect, your soft curves shifting beneath him, and he can’t stop staring. He feels greedy, like he needs both hands, both lips, every fucking inch of him touching every fucking inch of you.

His fingers brush over the swell of them, thumbing over one hardened nipple, and you let out a soft, breathy little sound that nearly kills him on the spot.

And then your eyes flick down, your breath catching, because he’s still in his briefs, but they’re pointless at this point, and you can see exactly how fucking gone he is for you already.

Your lips part, eyes widening slightly, voice soft, awed, wrecked—

“Oh, fuck.”

Sebastian snaps his gaze up to you, brows lifting.

“What?”

You swallow, blinking at his broad chest, his stomach, his cock aching against the fabric.

“Just trying to wrap my head around the fact that my best friend is secretly built like a fucking god,” you say, laughing breathlessly, teasing, and yet completely, unabashedly honest.

Sebastian laughs, shaking his head like he can’t believe you. “Oh, I’ll remember that,” he says, voice thick with amusement, with something darker curling at the edges. “Next time you decide to insult me, I’ll remind you that you said that.”

You grin, tilting your head back against the pillow, watching him through half-lidded eyes.

“I mean,” you hum, dragging your nails lightly down his chest, “the evidence is pretty overwhelming.”

Sebastian groans, dropping his forehead to your shoulder for a second. "And here I thought you preferred the blokes built like Roman statues." He hums, dragging his lips lower, pressing open, slow kisses over your collarbone, between the swell of your breasts. “Should’ve known better, huh?” he murmurs, teasing, grinning against your skin. "Turns out my best mate likes them thick."

You huff a laugh, but it breaks into a whimper when he finally closes his lips around one pert, sensitive nipple, sucking, dragging his tongue over it, groaning when your back arches beautifully into him.

"Apparently," You mutter breathlessly, "You do too."

“Fuck yeah, I do,” he mutters, smirking, tracing the soft curve of your hip, gripping, kneading. “I've always known that. You've been ruining my life with it for years."

You meet his eyes, and your mouth curves into something downright sinful. “Yeah? So why the hell didn’t you do something about it sooner?”

Sebastian barely gets a breath in before you’re pushing him back, shifting your weight, twisting your body beneath him until he’s the one sinking against the headboard, his back hitting the pillows.

He exhales sharply, blown, wrecked, barely processing how fast you move—or the fact that you just fucking flipped him like that.

"Bossy little thing," he mutters, grinning, but his voice is hoarse, completely fucking ruined.

You straddle his thighs, pressing your hands into his chest, pinning him down like you’re making sure he doesn’t move.

And fuck. Sebastian just lets you. Lets you crawl over him, lets you drag your lips down his chest, his stomach, kissing and teasing and taking your fucking time.

He groans, his head tipping back, his hands twitching at his sides because he wants to touch you, wants to grip your hips, drag you back over him, but he doesn’t want to stop you, doesn’t want to break whatever the fuck this is.

His breath stutters when you press a slow, deliberate kiss over the curve of his hip, your fingers hooking into the waistband of his briefs, tugging, teasing.

Sebastian curses under his breath, his jaw clenched tight, his entire body drawn so tight with tension he thinks he might actually fucking die.

"Jesus," he mutters, his hands flexing at his sides.

You hum against his skin, dragging your nails over his stomach, over his thighs, soaking in the way his muscles twitch beneath you.

And then you drag his briefs down, past his hips, past his thighs, down enough to free him.

Sebastian groans, eyes slamming shut, jaw clenching as the cool air hits him, as he feels the weight of himself resting heavy against his stomach, already aching, already dripping for you.

And you just fucking stare, mouth parting slightly, eyes dragging down the length of him, slow, heavy-lidded, like you’re trying to process what you’re looking at.

Sebastian cracks one eye open, breath ragged, and he can’t help but smirk. His voice comes out low, rough, teasing—

“What is it?" He grins, tilting his head, watching the way your gaze flicks over him, the way you press your thighs together.

You exhale sharply, blinking like you need a second to find words.

“Oh, fuck.”

Sebastian laughs, full and deep, completely and utterly smug.

"Shit," you mutter, shaking your head slightly, still staring, like you're recalibrating your entire fucking world.

Sebastian grins, dragging a lazy hand down his stomach, wrapping his fingers loosely around himself, stroking once, slow, teasing.

"See something you like, sweetheart?" he murmurs, voice thick with wolfish amusement.

You snap your gaze up to his, glaring. "Fuck off." But your voice is breathless, wanting, wrecked.

Sebastian chuckles, tilting his head back, completely in love with the fact that you are absolutely, completely undone over him.

Then— then you lick your lips, and Sebastian stops fucking breathing.

You lean down, hands gripping his thighs as your tongue flicks over the head of his cock, licking up the sticky precum already there, your lips barely grazing the sensitive tip.

“Fuck,” Sebastian groans, his hands flying to your hair, fingers tightening, but you’re not done yet.

You swirl your tongue over him again, slow, deliberate, your nails dragging over his skin, and then—then you start mouthing off.

Because of course you do.

"You could have had me ten years ago, Sebastian," you murmur, voice low, teasing, sinful, your breath hot against his skin.

Sebastian grits his teeth, jaw clenching. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," you hum, pressing one last, teasing kiss to the sensitive tip before dragging your gaze up to his face, smirking. "How the fuck could you be so blind to the fact I've been in love with you this whole time?"

Sebastian groans, fingers tugging at your hair, his body trembling with restraint.

"You’re talking a lot of shit for someone who’s got my cock in their mouth," he growls.

You laugh, fucking laugh, your tongue flicking over him again. "You really can’t take a little criticism, can you?"

Sebastian snaps.

"Alright," he mutters, voice low, rough, wrecked. "That’s enough."

Before you can get another word out, his hands are on you, gripping your hips, flipping you back beneath him.

You gasp, laughing breathlessly, but it’s cut off when he pins you down, his full weight pressing you into the mattress, his hand wrapping around your throat, just enough pressure to make your breath hitch. Then—just to make sure you never forget who you belong to—

He spreads your legs, dragging his fingers down your stomach, between your thighs, feeling the heat of you, the slick, messy proof of how long you’ve needed this.

"Christ," he mutters, running his fingers through the wetness, spreading it over you, teasing you.

Your hips jerk into his touch, desperate, wanting, already completely undone. Sebastian grins, dark and satisfied, watching you unravel beneath him.

"Messy thing," he murmurs, pressing his forehead against yours as he drags his fingers up to himself, coating his cock in your wetness.

You practically purr beneath him, your thighs trembling against his hips, the heat of you slick and fucking ready for him.

This is it. Finally.

His fingers curl into the sheets beside your head, his cock dragging through the wet mess between your thighs, teasing, aligning, his vision tunneling, his entire existence narrowing down to the feeling of you, of finally having you—

And then your hand comes up. Soft. Trembling. Pressing against his cheek.

His gaze flickers down to yours. Sebastian stalls instantly. His brain short-circuits, muscles locking tight, because he knows that look.

He knows it in his bones.

Knows it in the way your fingers tremble against his cheek, in the way your lips part like you’re about to say something but don’t know how.

Shit. Wait. Are you having second thoughts? Are you saying no?

Sebastian’s stomach drops, panic flaring as he searches your expression, trying to push past the fog of lust, of need, of desperation—

But it’s not hesitation he finds. It’s something soft, something raw and pleading, and he feels it deep in his chest, where everything soft and aching for you lives.

“Sebastian,” you whisper, barely a breath, and fuck, his chest aches.

“What is it?” His voice is rough, hoarse, aching with restraint.

“If... if this is just for tonight,” you whisper, your voice small, fragile, like you’re saying it through the lump in your throat, “If this is just—if we’re just gonna wake up tomorrow and pretend it never happened, then I—” you pause, your voice breaking slightly. "I need you to tell me now."

And that—

That fucking shatters him. How can you not see it? The way he worships you, the way he’s been yours since he was fifteen fucking years old?

He exhales sharply, his grip tightening on your hip. “Are you out of your fucking mind?” he tips your chin up, forcing you to see him, forcing you to understand. “You think I could have you like this and then just go back to how things were?”

Sebastian shakes his head, dragging his thumb over your cheek, over your lips, his brows pulling together.

“I’m not built like that, love.”

Your throat bobs, your breath shaky, uneven, your body still trembling beneath him.

He swallows, something breaking open inside his chest. “I’ve wanted you for nearly half my life,” he murmurs, pressing his lips against your temple, against your jaw, against the curve of your throat. “You really think I’d just let you go after this?”

A breathless, almost helpless noise escapes you, your fingers curling into his hair, gripping, holding on to him like you don’t know what else to do with yourself.

Sebastian groans, pressing more of his weight down into you, anchoring you, grounding you, making sure you fucking feel him.

"You’re mine," he breathes against your lips, possessive, reverent, certain in a way that leaves no room for doubt. "You're fucking mine, and I’m yours, and I don’t care how fucking long it took us to get here—I’m not fucking going anywhere. You understand?"

Your lips part, eyes flickering between his, something desperate and so fucking relieved blooming across your face.

"Thank fuck."

Then you pull him down to you, crashing your mouth against his, kissing him like he just fucking saved you. It's messy, all tongue and teeth and years of wanting, and his hands move without thinking—gripping, claiming, spreading you open for him

You whimper into his mouth when he grinds against you, his cock dragging through the wet mess between your thighs, slick and aching and so fucking ready for him.

You shift beneath him, thighs trembling, reaching down between your bodies, lining him up yourself, guiding him right where you need him.

Sebastian chokes on a breath, his head dropping to your shoulder, his fingers digging into your hips.

"Shit," he groans, voice breaking.

He can feel you, feel the heat of you, the wetness of you, and his brain blanks.

He’s done for.

Because this isn’t just sex.

This is everything.

This is forever.

[alwaysthebiggerbear]

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Summary: You and Dean refuse to speak to one another after an argument and Sam has finally had enough.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader; Dean Winchester x Female!Huntress!Reader A/N: Prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting (#941). I loved writing this. And of course, I couldn’t resist when it came to Sam in the end. Brothers, gotta love ‘em. Beta'd by @rieleatiel. Warnings: mentions of implied sex Word Count: 1449 First posted on here: 1/1/24

Dean snuck a glance at you only to quickly look away when you looked up from your lore book. In return, you snuck a peek at him but pretended you were looking at something else when he lifted his head from one of the hunter’s journals he’d found in storage. 

Sam had watched this infuriating dance happen at least twelve times by now and it was getting on his last nerve. At first, he thought it was hopeful. Then heartbreaking. Now it was just damn aggravating, more so because he knew his older brother was being his usual stubborn self. All he needed to do was come out and apologize already, and Dean knew that yet still refused to budge an inch.

You and Dean had gotten into an argument during the last hunt. He’d been upset that you had taken on three vamps by yourself—something you had done back in your high school days, along with killing other creepy things that slithered out of the dark. You were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, which you had proven multiple times, and you knew when to ask for help. Dean didn’t want to hear it, claiming you could have been killed had he and Sam not been close by. You both dug in your heels no matter what Sam said, and you two were still at an impasse, giving each other the silent treatment. Still, that didn’t stop the longing glances Dean gave you when you weren’t looking, or the sad looks you gave him when he was none the wiser. It was driving Sam nuts. He had never met two people who were so stubborn—aside from his parents, of course—and now that he thought about it, stubborn or not, you and Dean were well-suited for one another.

“You know,” Sam broke the silence. “At some point, you two are going to have to talk to each other again.”

Dean shot him a surreptitious glare. You had no problem offering a withering glare of your own.

“Look,” Sam continued. “Y/N is right, she can take care of herself and if she needs our help, she’ll say something.” At your triumphant smile, Dean’s gaze darkened.

“No one asked you to butt in, Sammy,” he warned.

Sam nearly rolled his eyes. “If I don’t, this won’t get resolved because you both are too hard-headed to make the first move. Y/N,” Your eyes darted over to him. “My idiot brother won’t say it but the reason he got upset is because he’s scared.”

Dean’s free hand clenched into a fist and he gave a subtle shake of his head. Sam ignored him and continued, “He’s scared something is going to happen to you and he won’t be there to stop it. That’s why he freaked out that night. He’s not trying to tell you what to do or be a controlling jerk. He just wants you to be safe, that’s all.”

You bit your lip and turned your attention to Dean, who suddenly seemed very interested in the book in his lap. “Is that true?”

After a moment, he ground out, “Yeah. It’s true.”

You stood up, letting the book in your own lap fall to the ground with a heavy thud, and made your way over to Dean. You ripped the book out of his hands, tossed it to the floor, ignored Sam’s irritation at your carelessness with such old tomes, and crawled into Dean’s lap, his hands instantly coming around you to support you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned down to kiss him. You felt him immediately begin to relax under your touch and only when his lips were completely pliant and moving with yours did you pull back, staring into his green eyes.

“Why couldn’t you just tell me that?”

He slid his hand up your back and to your hair, tenderly rubbing the strands between his fingers. “I don’t know. I just… That vamp had you in a hold and it scared the crap out of me when I couldn’t reach you fast enough. What if he had gotten more of a drop on you? What if—”

You gently placed your fingers against his lips, stopping him from finishing that question. “He didn’t. I killed my first vamp at 12, took out my first nest when I was 16. Hunting’s in my blood just as much as it is yours. I know what I’m doing.” You ran your fingers through his hair reassuringly, scratching at his scalp, and watched him lean into the touch. “But if you want, we can talk about it. We’ll come up with a plan that makes you feel better and works for both of us. Okay?”

He gave you a dopey smile that melted your heart. The magic touch had worked; the tension from before had finally lifted. “Okay, baby. Sounds good to me.”

You kissed him again, this time with a little more passion. “You know what else sounds good?” You murmured to his lips when you both needed a breath.

Those green eyes you loved so much immediately lit with an all-too familiar fire. “Do tell.”

You leaned in and whispered your plan into his ear, making sure Sam wouldn’t overhear. By the time you pulled back, he was grinning like crazy. Clearing his throat, he helped you off of his lap and back onto your feet as you both turned to face Sam, a mischievous smirk fighting its way onto your face. You knew that would get him going.

“Actually, I just remembered I left the…stove on in the kitchen. And Y/N here has to go call Jody to…give her an update on the case and how it’s going.”

Sam gave you both a look; he wasn’t buying it. You turned and gave the same look to Dean. He really hadn’t come up with anything better than that? “I hate you.”

“You have a weird way of showing that,” he teased, subtly rubbing up against you and smirking. This man was so lucky you loved him.

You shook your head and looked away, your cheeks growing hot. The bastard was turning you on even more and he knew it. It’d been almost two weeks, the longest you’d gone without since — well, since meeting him.

Sam was the one to clear his throat this time. “Whatever. Happy you both are talking to one another again. Now, go do what you’re going to do but just not in front of me, please. Okay? And you’re welcome.”

Dean shot Sam a look but he was too happy to care what Sam was intimating about his being the one who settled things between the two of you. He gave his younger brother a wide smile. “If you need us, we’ll be…” He trailed off, gesturing to the hallway that led to the rooms.

“Oh my God,” you muttered in embarrassment as you grabbed his hand and pulled him after you.

“Oh, hey!” Sam yelled. “Keep out of my room this time, Dean. I mean it!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean called back.

You had just turned the corner when Dean immediately had you up against the wall, kissing you passionately and picking you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. When you pulled back for air, your brow furrowed in confusion at seeing Dean move past his door. “Dean,” you panted. “Where are you going? You just passed your room.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled.

“Okay, then where are you taking me?”

His smirk was so wicked you knew what the answer was before he said it. “Sammy’s room.”

“Dean, are you kidding me? No!”

“Relax, we won’t be in there long.”

“You know how upset he was last time and he just said—”

Dean came to a stop and kissed the crap out of you, effectively silencing you. You may have been a little dazed when he finally let you get some air. “He’s got the better bed and I want the very best for you, baby.” He then gave you a salacious smirk and leaned in. “Plus I know how much you love that headboard.”

He waggled his eyebrows at you as certain memories replayed in your mind. You were able to hold onto that headboard for a long time, it held you up well, and same for Dean…oh shit. Sorry, Sam.

“What are you waiting for?” You bit out impatiently, slipping your tongue into his mouth and swallowing his chuckle. As he walked you into Sam’s room, shutting and locking the door behind him, you made a mental note to later google the hell out of this headboard and find one for Dean’s bed.

[mykoreanlove]

Ever wondered what it would be like to be pregnant by Chan?

„I need to get out of the house. Come get me, please.“

„What’s wrong? Something with the baby?“, your best friend asked concerned.

„It’s Chan. I can’t be around him anymore.“

„What? Why?“

You took a deep breath before explaining this ridiculous situation.

„He just wants to fuck me all the time and I can’t handle it anymore. Please, save me from this pussydrunk.“

Your best friend broke out in laughter, unable to answer for minutes.

„Are you for real right now? He’s always been like this. Why does this bother you now?“

It was true - you had a very active sex life which you adored. You adored being with him intimately, no matter the time nor place but ever since you got pregnant his sex craze became too much to bear.

„It’s different now that I’m pregnant. It’s like he‘s addicted to my pussy now.“

„Because of the pregnancy?“

You nodded quietly.

„Yeah, something about me carrying his child is driving him nuts.“

„Girl, are you for real?“

You sighed annoyed as she wasn’t taking you seriously.

„I fucking mean it. I don’t even have to do anything, just passing by him is enough for him to get hard. He literally grabs me and fucks me brainless, as if he wanted to add a sibling.“

Your friend snorted amused.

„So you’re telling me your very hot boyfriend who worships the ground you walk on is addicted to fucking you? And you want me to get you out of that? Babes, is the baby messing with your brain?“

„Shut the fuck up, my pussy can’t take it anymore, I-“

You heard the door open and shut up, already fearing what was about to come.

„Baby, are you home? Where is my beautiful, sexy goddess that is carrying my little Channie?“

„I gotta hang up“, you whispered hastily.

„Why? Is your cock appointment due?“

„Oh shut it“, you wanted to answer but got interrupted by Chan.

„There you are“, he was smiling happily while holding a giant bouquet of flowers in his hands. You hung up and smiled proudly as he was getting on his knees and started talking to your baby.

„Hey little one, I missed you“, he whispered sweetly.

Seeing him like that melted your heart, you just knew that he was going to be an amazing dad.

Chan started pampering your big belly in kisses while stroking your thighs.

„Actually, there’s something else I missed“, he breathed out hastily as he looked into your eyes with a deep longing.

You gulped as his big hands glided over the insides of your thighs, squeezing them lightly.

„Wanna know what else I missed?“

You nodded silently.

Chan let go of your thighs and started kissing your leg, starting with your ankle and going up to your knee. His eyes were piercing through you, they were full of desire and passion.

He continued kissing your leg before spreading them, making room for his head between them. The view of your pregnant belly and juicy pussy made him hold his breath, he felt like entering heaven again.

Seeing him like that made you throb, even though you were sore and fucked out for the week you couldn’t hide your desire for this man.

You were always his, always at his mercy.

Chan’s plush lips landed on your core, kissing through the fabric while mumbling: „I missed mommy the most. Want me to show you how much?“

[strawberrymatchawhore]

moonlight

rafe cameron

“i just wanna get high with my lover, veo una muñeca cuando miro en el espejo”

summary- you make the mistake of getting too high and letting your horny addict bf take care of it

warnings- dubcon/noncon, filming, semimeanbf!rafe, drugs, party, alcohol, nutting inside without permission, fucking while unconscious DO NOT READ IF U R UNCOMFORTABLE WITH STUFF LIKE THIS PLEASE.

you stumble onto bed as your boyfriend rafe guides you back into his room, it was nearly 2 am. the both of you leaving from a party that one of the kooks hosted. you underestimated the amount you drank and smoked, your head pounding as your body began to heat up.

“rafeee its hot.” you whined fanning yourself, staring at him taking his shirt off and changing into his pajama pants. his biceps flexing as he picks something from off the floor. you couldn’t take the waves of warmth coming onto you and you started taking you clothes off, unable to as youre too gone to correctly take off the top you were wearing.

you feel strong arms roughly pull you to your feet, helping you take it off. the blurry sight of rafes dilated eyes staring down at you, biting his lip. he stares down at your chest heaving up and down, you swallowed.

“how much did you smoke” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“fuck i dont even know like 1 joint maybe 2.” you slurred giggling at out of it you sounded, legs giving up you sat back down on the bed.

“jeez y/n really.. and i know youve been drinking too, how stupid are you ?” he sighed, hands running through his hair. you could tell he was high too, the way he was slow and his flush cheeks.

“im not stupid, i was just having fun.” you argued, confused. blinking at him, maybe realizing the amount of shit you actually consumed tonight.

"i always gotta take care of you huh baby ?” he sighs grabbing your jaw, thumb rolling over your puffy lips. you look up at him with your glossy eyes, your heartbeat bumping against your chest. you open your mouth to say something but he roughly grabs your hair and pulls, your scalp stings at the action.

“god you drive me fucking insane.” he climbs onto the bed and gets on top of you. sloppily kissing you, you whine at the force and put your hand on his bare chest. he moves his hand from your face and down between your legs, two fingers slowly getting shoved into you.

your eyes squeeze shut, your brain not being able to handle this sensation. you mumbled his name grabbing his arm and squeezing, whimpers leaving your mouth as he curls his fingers.

“rafe please” you whined, arching your back when he makes slow circles around your clit. the room was quiet, but you could hear the sounds of how wet and rough he was fingering you.

“that feel good ?” he breathily says, he speeds up. and your eyes roll, grabbing harder onto his arms as you cum of his fingers. your body growing more tired from the strong orgasm you just experienced. weed really does enhance everything to the next level.

“spread your legs f’me.” words fly out of both ears as you try to listen to him, but physically you couldn’t. he laughs and uses his hand to open them wider, the view of your pussy makes his cock even harder than it already was. you were wet, so wet.

you feel him pushing into you slowly, a little groan falls out of your mouth from the stretching. no matter how many times you guys have had sex, he was always too big and never really fit inside.

you open your eyes and a phone camera is above your face, you didnt mind. you and him always did shit like this.

“w-wait the condom.” you slur, forgetting that you werent on birth control.

“shh its okay baby, you can trust me.” he convinces you, and you back off. his steady pace quickens when the coke finally is at its peak. your soft moans getting louder as he snaps his hips against yours, his tip kissing your cervix with every thrust making you dizzier each time.

“is this what you wanted sweetheart ? got all cute and fucked up for me to fuck you like the pillow princess you are ?” he teased, his big veiny hand choking you. this felt so good, and the only thing on your mind was how good his dick felt.

“open your eyes baby, look at the camera. show it how much of a pretty slut you are for me.” your tits bounce up and down, mouth falling open. you shyly turn to the side, he wont allow it though. he grabbed your face and spit in your mouth, slapping you.

“whatd i just say.” he looks at you sternly and you pout.

you squeal at the sudden changed position of your legs, pushed against your chest. the feeling of him fucking you gets stronger, he went deeper in and out.

“fuck- mmm youre so beautiful and perfect, and youre all mine.” he grips your thighs and fucks you harder. he shuts off the camera and tosses his phone to the side.

it started to get overwhelming, your eyes tearing up from the pleasure as you slowly passed out. rafe noticed but that didn’t stop him, no it felt too good. he couldnt just leave you untouched the way you were looking to be filled with his cum.

his face shiny from the sweat, he looks down and pushes on your stomach. he could feel his tip thrusting up at you, groaning he slows down to kiss your cheek damp with your tears.

“oh fuck fuck fuck, im about to cum.” he grinds his hips into yours as he fills you up. he pulls out and leans over to grab a towel, cleaning up the evidence. but before that he couldnt help but stare at the sight, all perfect and filled.. hole dripping with his cum. its not like you would be angry right ? i mean with a few words and you would be the one apologizing for his actions. its rafe, you will always forgive him.

[jihyoruri]

heyy aurelia, can i request a “bada and aespa！yn questionable moments” if you havent made it？

BADA AND YN QUESTIONABLE MOMENTS 568k views bada lee x aespa!yn

warnings: yn is a aespa member from my aespa!yn series that you can find in my masterlist, fluff, just something short <3

CLIP #1📸

“don’t you know im a savage?” yn said to the camera mocking her member, the girls were filming their comeback and she was on a break. “that’s minjeongs line in the song I’ve been teasing her about it.” yn explains looking at the camera but her eyes drift to behind it and a smile makes its way to her face.

she brings her hand out and a hand latches onto it, “it’s bada unnie.” yn informs kissing the hand that holds hers, “she doesn’t want to be in my video right now, she’s hiding her pretty face.” she adds which earns a laugh from the dancer.

“I’ll catch her off guard later.” yn says seriously.

“no you won’t.”

CLIP #2 📸

“just like a zoo,” taeyong turned his camera towards yn who was marking the choreography, “working hard?” he asks the younger girl, he asked her to be apart of the dance practice video of the song that her and her member aeri is on because yn always leaves him impressed with her dancing

yn turns to him and walks towards the camera with a thumbs up, “bada unnie is driving me nuts.” she says with a fake distressed voice causing the older idol to laugh, “I know she has a crush on me but get off my back bro.” she teases.

“I have a crush on you?” the voice of the older girl fills the room as she makes her way towards yn before standing behind the shorter girl who laughs awkwardly.

yn scratch’s the back of her neck turning her head to the girl behind her before turning back to the camera, “I gotta go.” she says before awkwardly walking to the other side of the practice room.

bada laughs before following behind the younger girl and grabbing her.

CLIP #3 📸

yn leaned against the older girl as she sang softly and read the comments of the live, “who were you rooting for during street woman fighter?”

bada looked down at yn tightening her her hold on the girl who was almost in her lap.

“I was rooting for…” yn trails off teasingly looking up at bada who just stares at her, “jam republic, audrey grabbed my attention the whole show I couldn’t see anyone else.”

bada licks her lips and just laughs at the girls teasing, “you texted me after every episode th-”

“shh.” yn cuts the older off bringing her finger to her lips before laughing nervously to the live.

CLIP #4 📸

“let me show something to the camera.” yn says to bada who turns her camera to yn, “fan service.”

“what are you trying to show them?” the dancer asks but she doesn’t get a answer just yn doing a “sexy” pose.

bada quickly turned the camera from yn to her shaking her head, “she jokes to much.”

“it’s fan service!”

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 40: Home

Jackson holds a celebration. The final chapter of Yearling found on Tumblr in its entirety here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut :) No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 7.7k

A/N: We are through the spoiler-y portion now and you're all OK to read from here if you just want to see how the fic starts to come to a close. There is no more overlap with TLOU 2.

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter

December, 2002 

“Is that pot?” 

Your oldest brother, Brendan, damn near jumped out of his skin, looking around frantically for a moment before his eyes settled on you and he calmed, his hand going to his chest. 

“Shit, bug,” he said. “Yell it, why don’t you.” 

“If I yell it, Mom’ll take it away,” you said, joining him at the fence on the edge of your father’s property, climbing up and perching next to him in the moonlight. “But that means I need motivation to keep my big mouth shut so you’d better fuckin’ share.” 

He scoffed but passed you the joint, anyway. You took it and breathed deep, pulling the smoke into your lungs and holding it there until the urge to cough was too strong and you gave into it, handing the joint back to your brother, clouding the winter air with a pot-scented haze. 

“Jesus, getting high with my baby sister,” he chuckled. “Never thought I’d see the day.” 

“It’s because you’re getting old,” you teased lightly. He smiled and shook his head, taking a hit before passing it back to you. You took a hit, too, a smaller one this time, trying to make smoke rings as you breathed it out. “So. How’ve you been?” 

“Good,” he nodded slowly, taking the joint back. “Thinkin’ about starting up my own ranch…” 

“No shit?” You asked, brows raised. He nodded. “Good for you. Think you’d be good at it. I do gotta ask though… This have anything to do with Amanda?” 

You teased out the last word and he laughed. 

“Was waitin’ for that,” he said. “Talked to Mom have you?” 

“Here and there,” you said. “You really ask for Gran’s ring?” 

“Jesus…” 

“C’mon,” you elbowed him. “You’re thinkin’ of marrying her?” 

“More than thinkin’,” he smiled a little. “If I’m marrying anyone, it’s her.” 

He took another hit and passed the joint back to you and you nodded, mulling that over in your head. Your brother, settled down enough to get married and start a ranch of his own. It seemed like a completely foreign concept but it was one you liked. 

“You’d like her,” he said after a few minutes. “Amanda, I mean. She might come to New Year’s, think you two would get on like a house on fire. She’s studying to be a vet, specializing in large animals. Only person I know who likes horses as much as you.” 

“Damn,” you said, taking a hit yourself. “She does sound great. Too good for you, that’s for damn sure…” 

He snorted. 

“Don’t I know it.” 

You passed him the joint again. 

“Can I ask you something?” You said after sitting in silence for a minute. 

“Shoot.” 

“How do you know?” You asked. 

He frowned. 

“Know what?” 

“Know that…” you sighed. “I don’t know, know that she’s the one? That you want to marry her and all that shit?” 

He smiled a little, nodding knowingly as he did. 

“Well,” he said. “Sounds dumb, but… when you know, you know.” 

“Jesus,” you rolled your eyes and he laughed. 

“I’m serious,” he said. “You’ll know. But… Well, she’s my favorite damn person. I don’t want to do anything without her if I can help it. I love everything about her, even the shit that drives me nuts. Mostly, though, I just want to live life with her, you know? Want to go grocery shopping and do dishes and fuckin’ mow the lawn… all that shit. It all sounds great because it’d be with her. That’s how you know.” 

You nodded slowly, trying to imagine feeling that way about anybody. It didn’t really seem possible.

“Don’t sweat it too much, bug,” he said, clapping you on the shoulder. “You got plenty of time before you need to worry about that shit. No need to rush into it. Just wait until the time is right and you’ve found the right person and then you’re good. It’ll all work out in the end.” 

He was right, you thought as you nodded again. You had all the time in the world but, eventually, you’d find someone you’d want to share it with. Even if that sounded insane now, you thought you would. You looked up at the cold, December sky, the universe stretched out before you and you took a deep satisfying breath. 

“Yeah,” you said. “I think it will.” 

***

July 20, 2029 

“Joel, where the hell is your wife?” 

Tommy and Joel both looked at each other before looking to Maria, confused. 

“Don’t think it was my turn to watch ‘er,” Joel said, setting his whiskey down. “Actually, think it was the exact opposite of my turn to watch her what with tradition and all…” 

“Well maybe it should have been because I can’t find her,” Maria said, clearly flustered. “I’ve checked your place, her old place, the room she was supposed to be getting ready in…” 

Joel smiled a little to himself, shaking his head and getting up from the table. There was one obvious place Maria hadn’t checked. 

“Maybe she’s gettin’ cold feet,” Tommy teased, smirking. “Lord knows she’s too smart for you, anyhow. Maybe she figured it out…” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Joel said, adjusting the collar on his shirt. He was in too good a mood to even give his brother shit back. “Don’t think it works that way if you’ve already been married a year and a half. Besides, I think I know where to find her…” 

“Just tell me,” Maria groaned, half-heartedly trying to stop him. “I’ll go. It’s bad luck for you to do it.” 

“Think we already had more than our share of that,” he said, giving her a wink. “Think we’ll be OK.” 

He left his brother’s kitchen and started toward the stables, walking in the opposite direction of most of the town, everyone making their way toward the gathering place in the middle. They gave him warm smiles and nods and congratulations as he passed and he smiled back, a little bubble of warmth in his chest that swelled as he made his way to you. Because while Maria might not know where you were, he sure did. 

He heard you before he saw you. 

“You’re doing good,” you said. “Try not to let your fingers get ahead of where your mind is though, that’s where you’re stutterin’ a bit…” 

“Easy for you to say,” Joel almost heard Savvy’s eyes roll as she teased you. “You don’t have as many fingers to keep track of.” 

You barked a laugh at that as Joel came into the stable. You were perched on the wall of Perseus’ stall, Savvy and Ellie sitting on either side of you, the guitar he’d made for Savvy in her arms. She noticed him before you did, giving him a little smile. 

“Here,” she said, passing the guitar to you. “You should play something Dad likes since you’re getting married today and all.”

“Look at you, bein’ all sentimental,” you teased lightly back. But you took the guitar and drummed on it for a moment before settling on a song. “Alright, this is the first thing he ever played me. His version is better but this song always makes me think of him now.” 

Joel just leaned against the door, watching and listening as you played I’m On Fire, that warm glow in his chest somehow growing as you did, wondering if you could possibly be any more perfect. You were wrong about one thing, though. Your version was better.

It had taken you a while to pick up the guitar again. You’d been back more than two months when he came home from a short patrol to find you on the couch, the guitar he made you in your arms and a determined - if frustrated - look on your face. You glanced up at him when he came in before looking back at the instrument. 

“I’m tryin’ real hard not to throw this,” you said, arranging your intact hand on the neck of the guitar. “But it’s pissing me off.” 

“Think I’d rather you throw the pillow,” Joel said wryly, coming to sit beside you. You rolled your eyes. “Want to show me?” 

“Not really,” you said but you did anyway, starting to play the way you had for years and then seeming to forget that you had two fewer fingers, notes missing and fumbled and you shouted in frustration, almost throwing the guitar before clenching your jaw and moving to set it on the coffee table. Joel took it from you before you could, setting it on the other side of the couch before pulling you against him and kissing the top of your head. 

“You were sounding good there, baby,” he said, stroking your arm. You scoffed. “Mean it, you were.” 

“Yeah, I was playin’ a mess of bullshit there at the end,” you said. “Real good.” 

“It’s gonna take time, sweetheart,” he said gently. “You spent a long time playing the way you used to. Takes a while to adjust. You’ll get there…” 

“Because there are so many famous eight-fingered guitarists,” you muttered, your voice thick. 

“Sure, but you’re better than every guitarist I’ve ever heard of,” he said, tugging you closer. “You will get there, baby. If anyone can it’s you.” 

You sighed but snuggled into him and he hoped that you believed him. He wasn’t just saying it. Something inside him knew that you’d find a way to make music again the way you used to. 

He was right. It took a few weeks - a few weeks of almost perpetual frustration - but you got there. He watched it happen, the moment it seemed to click into place almost startling in its clarity. You were playing in the kitchen while he cooked, not really working on anything in particular, just seeing what sounds you could pull from your instrument and how you could make them work together in that way you had when, all of a sudden, you played a few notes in quick succession. Joel frowned to himself and glanced over his shoulder, hoping you weren’t paying attention to him. You weren’t. You were intently focused on the guitar, your hands frozen on it for a moment before you did it again, adding more chords this time. The next thing he knew, you were playing the riff from Layla, laughing as you did. 

“Joel!” You looked over to him after playing it a few times and he’d stopped pretending he wasn’t watching you, just leaning against the counter so you had the space to do what you needed to do. “Did you hear that?” 

“Yeah baby,” he smiled. “Sure did.” 

You made a giddy little noise and carefully arranged the guitar in your arms again before starting over. He had to practically pry the instrument away from you when dinner was done but you were beaming when he did, even though the place where you’d lost fingers was bleeding from the guitar strings. 

Joel made you something after that, a simple piece of leather that covered that sensitive place and looped down around your wrist. It seemed to work wonders for you, making it easier to play guitar and work with the horses and he let himself feel good about it. He’d done something for you that made your life here better. He could still take care of you, still give you what you needed. They hadn’t taken that, too. 

It still took a while for things to get back to normal. Or close to normal, anyway. After everything that had happened over the last two years, Joel didn’t think there was any real way to go back. You still woke up afraid some nights, his leg still bothered him more often than not. But there were good changes, too. Savvy had moved into the bedroom you’d set up for her, happy to have her mother to come home to again. Ellie came around all the time, often with her girlfriend in tow - something that had taken Joel by surprise but had settled into quickly. You’d even become more involved in Jackson, joining the council in the most recent election after Maria encouraged you to run. When the results had come in you sat there, wide eyed, for a moment before you got up and smiled and thanked people for voting for you. It was the shortest acceptance speech Jackson ever had. 

While he wouldn’t want to go back and relive the worst of those times, he was starting to think the heartache was there for a reason. It was to get you both here, to this place, building your family and community together. 

You finished the song and Ellie and Savvy clapped and you scoffed. 

“Sounded real good there, baby,” Joel said from his place by the door. You didn’t jump at the sound of his voice, instead just looking over your shoulder back to him. “Tryin’ to show me up?” 

“Nah,” you smiled, handing the guitar to Ellie and jumping down from your perch. “Never could with I’m On Fire. Other shit, though…” 

He laughed and shook his head a little as you walked over to him, a blissful smile on your face, and he gave himself a chance to really appreciate you in that moment. 

Joel always thought you were beautiful. You were beautiful when he’d first seen you in the forest years ago now, you were beautiful when you fell asleep against him when watching movies, you were beautiful when you came home covered in sweat and dirt and the smell of horse. But damn, were you ever beautiful here, like this. You were in a white eyelet lace dress that went down to your ankles, dropping low enough at the neck that the swell of your breasts were going to be a constant fucking temptation. Savvy had made you a crown of flowers that sat on your head and Joel’s old wedding band hung on a chain around your neck and your cowboy boots had been polished to shining and damn did he want to sweep you off your feet and carry you back home to hide you away from everyone else looking that good. 

“Anyone ever tell you you’re the most beautiful woman on the damn planet?” He asked as you draped your arms around his neck and his hands found your waist. 

“You,” you smiled, your eyes crinkling at the edges with it. “From time to time.” 

“Should say it more then,” he smiled back. “Been slacking.” 

“You’re not supposed to see her, you know,” Ellie said, trying to sound stern but smiling a little instead. “Maria told me.” 

“Well someone decided to sneak away without tellin’ anyone where she was headed,” Joel teased lightly. 

You just smiled broader. 

“The important people knew where to find me,” you said. 

Joel looked between you and the daughters you shared. 

“Yeah,” he said. “Suppose we did.”

He took your hand and the four of you headed for the middle of town, Joel kissing you goodbye in a spot that was a little tucked away so not everyone would catch a glimpse of you. 

“You’re too damn pretty,” he smiled. “Don’t want to spoil it for everyone. See you up there?” 

You smiled back. 

“Try and stop me.” 

Joel wasn’t sure he’d ever felt quite so happy as when he watched you walk down the aisle toward him. The two of you said more traditional vows this time, Savvy and Maria by your side, Ellie and Tommy by his. There was something about making promises to you publicly, where everyone the two of you knew could see, that just felt right. You exchanged new rings this time, ones made of the antler of a moose Joel had felled a few months earlier, him slipping yours on your middle finger this time. When he kissed you, the rest of the town fell away and it was just you and him, the way it felt like it should be.

The whole town celebrated after, tables put out on the grass and lights hanging from the trees. Someone had rigged up a sound system and the children of Jackson chased each other, weaving in and out of tables shrieking and giggling as they went. You and Joel were sat at a head table with the girls, Tommy, Maria and William and Joel kept his hand on your knee all through dinner. 

To kick off the dancing, Joel tugged you onto the floor, your chin tucked into your chest, and swayed slowly to Hallelujah, so like you had the first time he danced with you, before everything had fallen into place this way. You smiled and pressed close to him, moving alongside him in front of everyone the two of you knew in the world and Joel was happy. 

Back at your table, he was just starting to think of a way to steal you back to the house when Ellie gave you a look, jerking her head off to the side. You gave his shoulder a squeeze and smiled, a little nervously. 

“See you in a second,” you said, before following Ellie, who was whispering conspiratorially with you. 

“What in the hell…” Joel frowned, watching you. 

“Just have to wait and see, Dad,” Savvy said, looking far too pleased with herself. 

He didn’t have to wait long. You and Ellie returned with your guitar and a boom box, Tommy setting up a chair for you in the middle of everything so everyone could see you before cutting the music. 

“Hey, everyone!” Tommy yelled, his hands cupped around his mouth like a megaphone. “Pay attention to my baby sister!” 

The whole of Jackson obeyed and Joel could tell that you were fighting the urge to just go and be next to him, far from the public eye. Instead, you stood next to Tommy, the guitar Joel made you dangling from your hand, Ellie standing nearby next to the boom box. 

“Thanks, everyone, for comin’ tonight,” you said, your accent thick like it was when you got nervous. Joel smiled a little, the sound of home coming from your lips. “Means a lot to us that you’re here and sharing this with us. It means a lot to me, especially. I know it took me some time to settle in here because I ain’t had somewhere to call home with anyone other than my daughter for a real long time. But here feels like home, and the way everyone here has welcomed us… it means everything to me. 

“Now, a lot of y’all may not know it but…” you took a deep breath and Joel could see you try to swallow your nerves. “I’m something of a musician. I don’t much like playing for anyone besides family but since I feel like y’all are family now, well… seemed only appropriate I play for everyone here tonight.” 

You sat down and rested the guitar on your lap. 

“Music’s always been the way I get my feelings out,” you said, now focused on Joel. His heart swelled. “I’ve never been great with words and I love you just doesn’t feel like enough when it comes to you, Joel. This ain’t much but… feels closer at least.” 

You gave Ellie a nod and she pressed play on the boom box and Joel had to fight to not tear up as you played, the song growing and swelling as it went on, the boom box adding in piano and violin. The music was beautiful and intimate and made Joel think of the quiet mornings he spent with you in his arms, trailing his fingers over your the curve of you, your breath warm on his skin, gently kissing his way over you before the world woke up and it was just you and him and the love you made together. He loved those mornings with you, he wanted countless more of them and he could practically see them now, laid out in front of him like the world at his feet.  

When the song ended, the whole of Jackson was silent, the only sound the rustle of the breeze on the trees. You tugged your lower lip between your teeth and, for half a second, looked like you wanted the ground to swallow you up. But then, all at once, everyone broke into applause, thunderous and adoring and you gave Joel a bashful look. Ellie took the boom box and your guitar to stash them away again as you made your way back to him, what seemed like everyone in town on their feet for you as you went. 

“Hope that wasn’t too embarrassing,” you said as Joel pulled you in close. 

“Baby, that was incredible,” he said, giving you a long, deep kiss. “I didn’t even know you’d been workin’ on the piano and the violin again!” 

“I know,” you smiled a little, pressing close and tight to him. “You’re a hard man to surprise. But once I figured out the guitar, I wanted to get those back, too. Tommy even helped me tune the piano at my old place.” 

Joel looked to his brother who gave him a small salute before he turned back to you. 

“You’re amazing,” he said, resisting the urge to take off with you then and there. You just rolled your eyes before he kissed you again and he tried to be content with just having his arm around you as everyone in town made their way up to congratulate the two of you. 

After what felt like a small eternity - and a few more dances with you - Tommy finally leaned over to whisper in Joel’s ear. 

“I’ll hold down the fort and make sure the girls are all good,” he said. “Get outta here before you lose your damn mind.” 

“Thanks, man,” Joel clapped him on the shoulder and Tommy just gave him a lopsided smile, one that Joel would would call paternal if it came from anyone else. He supposed it did from Tommy, too, now. It was still an odd thought, his brother finding his way to a wife and a place in the world before Joel had, that Joel was the one playing catch up and, in some ways, relying on his brother for help and guidance. But with you, it felt like he’d more than caught up. He’d come out ahead. 

“Hey,” Joel gave you a little squeeze and whispered in your ear. “What do you say we get outta here, Mrs. Miller?” 

“Really?” Your face lit up and Joel smiled and nodded. “Oh thank fuck, I don’t think I can talk to anyone who isn’t you or the girls again for a week…” 

He laughed a little, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. 

“C’mon,” he said. “Let’s sneak out…” 

Joel took your elbow as you got up, the dance floor full as Tommy got to his feet, cupping his hands around his mouth like a megaphone again. 

“Ladies and gentleman!” He yelled. “For the last time tonight, Mr. and Mrs. Miller!”

Joel gave him a look and Tommy gave him a wink as everyone turned and clapped. You and Joel waved goodbye before he put his arm around your waist and pulled you tight against his side, leading you home. 

*** 

“Mrs. Miller,” Joel trailed his nose over your cheek, his words quiet in your ear. 

“Hm,” you grunted in response, eyes still closed. 

“C’mon,” he said softly, his hand smoothing over your stomach that was still covered by your wedding dress. “Gotta get up, we got places to be.” 

You opened a skeptical eye at that. The ceiling of your bedroom was painted orange by the sunrise and Joel was there, smiling down at you, his curls still a little unruly from where your fingers had wound in them the night before. 

“Where do we have to be?” You asked. “Pretty sure we get the day after our wedding off.”

“We do,” he said, his hand gliding over you, between your breasts in the low cut of your gown, over your chest to cup your cheek. “But still want to get an early start. Made you coffee, let’s go.” 

“Early start for what?” You asked, sitting up now. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiled. “You’ll like it, promise. Think you can ride a horse in that pretty dress of yours?” 

You gave him an incredulous look. 

He laughed. 

“Fair enough. Then let’s get goin’.” 

“Do I need to pack a bag or anything?” You asked, trying not to groan as you got out of bed. 

“Already handled,” he said. “All I need is my beautiful wife to come along for the ride.” 

You smiled a little. 

“Think I can manage that.” 

You had coffee and slices of leftover wedding cake with Joel before walking with him, hand in hand, to the stables, the sound of Jackson just coming to life around you as you went. 

It felt a little silly to still be in your wedding dress but, you had to admit, it was a damn nice dress.

Staying in it the night before had been Joel’s idea. His lips had been working their way over your throat to your ear before he whispered to you there. 

“That dress of yours comfortable?” He asked, a little breathless. 

“Yeah,” you panted, pulling back just enough to frown at him. “Why?” 

“Because,” he said, taking a moment to nip at your lower lip. “Did things backwards our first wedding night, already had you naked when we said our vows. Kinda want to have you in the white dress, make a real pretty mess of you in it.” 

You smiled, reaching up and trailing your fingers through his hair. 

“Whatever you want, Mr. Miller.” 

He made you come four times in that dress the night before and you passed out in his arms before you could will yourself to move enough to take it off, too tired from the day of celebrations to bother changing once he was done with you. 

It had been Joel’s idea to have a wedding ceremony. He’d brought it up a few months before, once you’d fallen back into life in town again, things as normal as they could be now. You still sometimes felt the ache of fingers that were no longer yours, you still sometimes woke up afraid that your daughters were gone, but you’d healed, too. Your skin was no longer broken and raw, you could play the music you loved again, you could go down the hall and look in on Savvy when you woke up afraid she was gone. 

“We’re already married, Joel,” you laughed at him, your feet on his lap as you played guitar one night when Savvy was out with Kyle. Orion snuggled closer to your knee. “You forget that just because we don’t wear the rings anymore?” 

“Never forget that,” he smiled a crooked smile at you as he massaged the arch of your foot. “One of the best damn nights of my life. But… I think now’s a good time to celebrate that with our family. Girls weren’t there for it, neither was Tommy. Think it’d be nice to do it again with them.” 

You nodded slowly, mulling it over. It wasn’t a bad thought. You did want to share that with Savvy and Ellie, especially now that Savvy would actually be happy about it. And you knew that Joel had missed Tommy and Maria’s wedding, something he regretted now that he had a proper life here in Jackson. You understood why he’d want his brother there. You’d want your brothers there, too, if they were still alive. 

“Sure,” you said eventually. “Let’s do it. Have witnesses when you make promises to me this time around, really hold you to that shit…” 

He laughed at that. 

“Damn right, baby,” he said. “You can hold me to whatever you want.” 

Plans quickly grew, though, from just your family to family and friends to the whole of Jackson. Warren manipulated patrol schedules so there would be one afternoon that everyone was in town, damn near every chair and table that could be moved set up for the reception. It had become more than a celebration of you and Joel, changing into something celebrating the peace the city had known in the year since Mitchum’s downfall. 

The raider attacks became almost non-existent, patrols hunting down the smaller side groups and wiping them out quickly once Mitchum’s control fell away. After that, even the threat from infected lessened. With fewer people in the forests in the miles around Jackson, there was less reason for them to be there. Patrols had become quiet and mostly peaceful, the town no longer afraid of what they might lose every time the gates to the city opened. 

You were happy for the excuse for the focus to not be entirely on you all night, anyway. You’d never been comfortable being the center of attention and, while you liked having a chance to actually show how much your husband meant to you after years together, having that many eyes on you got old fast. Going home just you and Joel had been a relief. 

“Hey there love birds,” Olivia said when you got to the stable, two sets of reins in her hands. “Ready to get underway?” 

“Think so,” Joel said, taking the reins from her, Renaissance and Ares both packed like they were leaving for a long patrol. “Thanks for doin’ this.” 

“Hey, anything to get her to take a break,” she gave you a wink. “Lord knows she deserves it. Have fun you two.” 

“Joel,” you laughed, almost nervously, following alongside him as he led the horses to the gate. “Where are we going? What’s going on?” 

“You’ll see,” he smiled a little as you reached the gates, handing you Renaissance’s reins. “Just have to keep up.” 

You raised your brows at him and he laughed. 

“Alright, just have to let me lead for a change, how about that?” 

“That, I can do,” you smiled. 

It was an easy ride, you following where Joel led, smiling and laughing and breathing in the fresh, clean scent of the forest as you did. For a while, you so rarely left Jackson after Mitchum. No matter what Joel and Tommy and Maria and Julie said, it didn’t feel safe. The worst things that had ever happened to you had happened outside those walls, it just wasn’t worth the risk to leave. If you were inside, in the house you shared with Joel and Savvy or at the stables or the Tipsy Bison, everything would be OK. 

But you missed the outside, too. You missed how crisp the air was when you were outside, the sound of the animals in the wild, the way the world spread out in front of you vast and unclaimed. 

Joel, Ellie and Julie had been easing you back into it. Julie asked you for help collecting fruit for one of her cocktail plans one day. You’d been hesitant but she convinced you, your whole body stiff the entire two hours you were outside, hyperaware of everything around you. But because you were so aware, you noticed everything too, things you’d missed like the rustle of the grass and the way the air smelled. You were a little more willing to go then. 

Ellie told you she wanted to practice shooting as she got ready to go back out on patrol, taking some time off from it after everything that happened. She asked you when Joel was busy and Olivia was there to take over at the stables and you knew it was contrived but you went with her, anyway. She kept you talking, pointing out different birds and asking questions about things that you knew she knew the answer to but it did make you miss being out in the wild more. When you told her you knew better, Ellie kept pretending she had no idea what you were talking about. 

Joel, at least, hadn’t tried to couch it in anything. He’d been holding you one morning when neither of you had to be anywhere, his fingers trailing gently up and down your arm. 

“Been thinkin’,” he said quietly before pressing his lips to your forehead. “We should take the horses out, go on a short trail ride.” 

You frowned. 

“Why? They’ve been gettin’ plenty of exercise, don’t have any that need to be tested outside of town right now…” 

“Because you could use it,” he said. You stiffened but he kept tracing his fingers over you, up and down.

“Joel…” 

“You’ve been gettin’ out here and there,” he said gently. “And I know you miss it.” 

“I miss how it used to be,” you corrected him. “It’s different now.” 

“Don’t have to be,” he said. “Just come with me.” 

You sighed, but he kept going. 

“Just a few hours, not gonna take you far,” he said. “I’ll keep you safe.” 

You pressed your lips together into a thin line, trying to calm your nerves as he pulled back to look at you, his eyes locked on yours. 

“Would I try to get you to do somethin’ that wasn’t safe?” He asked gently. You gave him a look and he smiled a little. “I’ve got you, baby. Just you and me where you can open the horses up and get back out in the trees a little. I’ll be there the whole time, I’ve got you. S’OK.” 

His eyes were so soft and his face was so open that you sighed and agreed. The first time had been scary. You only went for a few hours but you couldn’t relax the entire time you were gone, fully outside what felt like Jackson’s control for the first time since you’d come back. But Joel was right. He stuck close to you the entire time, always watching for any kind of threat, always ready to protect you. You made it back to Jackson in one piece, the only shots fired to take down a few stray infected ambling through the area. 

He gradually got you to leave the walls of the town more and more, even convincing you to bring Savvy and Ellie along one day, and you realized - as you sat on a picnic blanket with your husband and daughters - that the safety may not have been the walls of the city after all. It may have just been Joel. 

You felt comfortable now, outside Jackson with the man who had become your home, your safest place, your husband twice over. The trees were thinning, four hours into your ride and off the more beaten path. You looked at Joel, brows raised and he smiled. 

“That’s where we’re headed,” he said. “When we get to there, go ahead and open ‘er up, you’ll know where to go.” 

“So mysterious,” you teased and he shrugged, smirking a little, as you broke through the trees. 

The sight was almost damn near idyllic, a small lake that was clear as glass, a cabin with a big front porch complete with a swing sitting on the other side of it. You looked at Joel, mouth open in shock. 

“Me n’Tommy found it few months back,” he smiled. “Been fixin’ it up. Plenty of space for us, the girls, anyone they want to bring along. But… wanted to break it in right, just you and me. Besides, pretty sure I’ve owed you a honeymoon for a while now.” 

You laughed, almost giddy, and pushed Renaissance into a full gallop, skirting along the edge of the water, standing in the stirrups so the air sent the skirt of your dress billowing out behind you. You rode her up to the porch, slipping out of the saddle before she’d come to a full stop, too excited to get a look at the place. You realized there was a small dock just off the porch, a rowboat tied to the side of it, and wildflowers among the grass outside the cabin. 

“I do OK?” Joel asked, getting off Ares and coming up alongside you. 

“This is amazing,” you said, awed, as you took it all in. “I can’t believe you did all this, it’s…” 

You couldn’t find the words, just looking at him, a small smile on his lips. 

“C’mon,” he said, taking your hand and leading you up the front steps. He opened the front door but stopped you from going through it. “You gonna let me carry my wife across the threshold? Always wanted to do that with you in a wedding dress.” 

You laughed a little and draped your arms around his neck. 

“Think that can be arranged.” 

He bent and swept you off your feet and into his arms, making you laugh. 

“Then let’s go, Mrs. Miller.” 

He carried you through the front door and into the living room, some faded couches and mismatched arm chairs around a fireplace. Behind them was a table big enough to have the whole family gathered around it, a set of stairs beyond that and a kitchen off to the side. There was a bundle of wildflowers in a jar of water in the middle of the table, a shelf of board games and cards sitting next to the hearth. 

“Give me a few minutes to get the horses settled,” he said, setting you down and kissing your temple. “Then I’ll show you the best part of this place.” 

You took your time taking in the place, how much care you could tell Joel and Tommy had put into it. You could see places in the wall that had been patched, shelves that had been mounted. There were stores of canned foods in the cupboards, a canister of tea, a jar of honey, even a pair of matching mugs, both chipped with little owls on them that made you smile. In the living room, there was art on the walls: one of a horse grazing in an open field and another of a deer standing next to a moose in a clearing. You smiled, leaning in closer to see Ellie’s signature in the corner. 

“She wanted to contribute,” Joel said from behind you and you turned to face him. He set packs down on the couch and you smiled as he came to you, putting his arms around your waist and tugging you against him. He trailed his lips along your forehead, your temple, down toward your throat, his hands slipping up your sides to slide into the low neck of your dress, making you moan. 

“Want to see my favorite part about this place?” He asked, heat on his voice. You just nodded  and he pushed the top of the dress down, bearing your chest to him. “No one around for miles. All alone out here. So I can have you all to myself, naked, in that water out there.” 

He took the globes of your breasts in his large hands, cradling the weight of them gently in his palms, squeezing you and you groaned at his touch. He kissed you, dipping his tongue into your mouth and you pulled at the buttons of his shirt, opening them one by one. 

“Should get me naked then,” you said breathlessly when he pulled away from you ever so slightly. “That water looks awful inviting.” 

You undressed each other quickly then, Joel’s shirt and pants ending up in a heap on the floor, your dress draped over the couch. He took your hand and led you outside, pulling you along into the cool water. It was smooth and clear on your skin, the sandy bottom of the lake soft on your toes. He pulled you deeper, until the water was up to your shoulders, before tugging you against him. You smiled and he tilted your head so he could kiss you, his thumb over your cheek, fingers curving around the back of your neck. 

“I can’t believe you did all this,” you said quietly as he held you close. His thick, hard cock was pressed against your stomach, your breasts pressed against his wet skin. “You didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to,” he smiled, his forehead against yours. “I want to give you everything, baby.” 

You reached and put your arms around his neck, arching your back against him. 

“You already have,” you said softly. “You gave me you.” 

His hands drifted lower, cupping the round of your ass and lifting you so you could wrap your legs around his waist. His cock was pressed against your slit and you moaned at the feel of it, the way the water and the tip of him moved against your clit already making your pussy tighten. He lifted you, dragging the thick of his length over your sex until he notched his head at your entrance and he moaned. 

“Goddamn baby,” he said, voice tense with want. “Can feel how warm you are inside already…” 

He pulled you down onto him, his cock pressing into you slowly, slow enough that you could feel how he opened you to him, stretching you around him. You groaned, burying your face in his neck and breathing in the smell of him. 

“Fuck you feel good,” his mouth trailed over your neck, your bare shoulder. “So goddamn good, taking me so well…” 

Your fingers sank into his skin and you pressed yourself impossibly closer and tighter to him as he bottomed out inside you, your clit pressed against the base of his stomach, the whole of him thick and heavy inside you. 

“Joel,” you whimpered. “You’re so deep, feel so good…” 

“I know, sweetheart,” he breathed, taking his hands from your ass to your back to clutch you close. “I know.” 

He held you close and tight and you managed to pull your face from his neck to look at him, your eyes on his, noses brushing, breathing into each other as the water cradled you both. You moved together, every rock of your hips and thrust of his slow and aching. You weren’t able to tell where he ended and you began and you could feel his breath quickening as the heat inside you grew stronger, your channel getting tighter. 

“Want you to come for me,” he whispered, voice trembling. “Need to feel you, come on baby and come for me.” 

You could only moan in response, his thrusts growing firmer as you pressed your clit against his skin, his arms tightening around you. You were right on the edge, so close exploding around him. 

“Come with me,” you managed, clinging to him. “Please, I need to make you come, please…” 

He cut you off with a kiss, swallowing your needy sounds, moving in you desperate and claiming. Your orgasm built higher and higher, drawing you so tight around him it seemed impossible until he pulled you so close it almost hurt, body flush to his as you felt him come undone inside of you. 

It only took a moment for the pulsing of his cock to set off your own orgasm, making you throb and flutter around him as rope after rope of his come filled you. For a moment, it was as though you and Joel were the only people left in the world, the way he was around and inside you the only thing you could be sure of then. 

He held you after both your orgasms eased, his softening length still inside you, your head on his shoulder, your arms around him as his lips brushed your neck. The water was still and quiet around you, a soft breeze on the air and you smiled against his skin, a sense of peace settling over you as you did. 

It had taken so long to reach this point, so many years of pain and healing, so much you needed to move past. But it had all led you here, where you were together, where everyone you loved was safe and happy and you didn’t need to be afraid anymore. 

Joel’s hand trailed slowly up and down your spine and he pressed a kiss into your skin. 

“I’m so happy we got here,” you said quietly. 

You felt him smile against your shoulder. 

“Me too, Bambi,” he said, kissing you again before pulling back from him just enough to look you in the eye. “Come a long way in the last few years.” 

You smiled a little. 

“Hard to believe,” you said. “I didn’t think I’d ever have something like this. I didn’t know it was possible to have something like this.” 

“Me, too,” he said. “Makes it feel like all the shit we went through to get here was worth it.” 

“Yeah,” you said, kissing him gently. “It does.” 

You looked in his eyes, just appreciating him for a moment, the tan of his skin and the gray of his hair and the wrinkles and the scars that told the story of everything that he’d survived and felt deeply that he was one of the most beautiful things you’d ever held. 

“So,” he said after a few minutes. “Since this is a honeymoon and all, we got the place to ourselves for as long as we want it but figure we’ll want to get back to the girls before too long. What are you thinkin’ baby?” 

You hummed for a moment, considering. 

“Well,” you said. “I do miss the girls. But… I like having you all to myself. Think I want to stay here, where I can take advantage of the fact that I can get you naked whenever I want, for at least a few days. Maybe a week.” 

He smiled. 

“Week sounds good,” he said. 

“Plus,” you said. “We can always come back in the future. Have as many honeymoons as we want.” 

“Yeah,” he smiled wider. “We can. We got time.” 

You kissed your husband, soft and slow, before pulling away and smiling back at him. 

“We do,” you said. “We have all the time in the world.” 

A/N:

Hi, everyone!

I cannot believe we are here. Exactly one year ago today I published the first chapter of Yearling and now I'm publishing the last.

Thank you so so so much for going on this journey with me, Joel and Bambi. These characters have meant so much to me over the past year and it has been just an absolute joy to share them with you. I hope you've enjoyed how they've grown together and built the life they'll have from here on out.

If you'd like to keep reading what I'm sharing, I am starting up another few fics. There's an AU of Yearling that you can find here and I am working on another Joel fic that is a no-outbreak AU where Joel is reader's bodyguard. It's called The Savage and the Sanctuary and you can find that here.

I've always been bad at saying goodbye, so I won't do that. I will just say thank you for coming on this adventure with me and for all the love and support you've shared. I hope to see you again soon.

Be well, take care of yourselves, and spread a little kindness in the world.

Love you!!

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust @ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost @beccerjune @mumma-moonchild @netonetoneto @mellymbee @purplelye @n7cje @flugazi @evyiione @randomhoex @aliengirl99 @orcasoul @reds-ramblings @pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel @jenispunk @panda-pascal @sarap-77 @flugazi @your-slutty-gf @daniegraceg @partyofone3413 @cumberpegg @noisynightmarepoetry. @fifia-writes @grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123 @ashleyfilm @arizonadreamingg

[dilfl0v3rss]

aran fucking yn's shit up after he saw her purposely flirting with other guys😜

aran so mf fine yall like ughhhh😩😩

you had told this man over and over again that you did not want to be at this damn party. aran has been practicing nonstop and when he’s not practicing he’s playing in his matches so you wanted to take this night to spend time with your man, but of course he wasn’t having that. “ma we just beat our rivals, we gotta go” he said as he brushed his waves in the mirror. his muscular tattooed back facing you as he stood in just his sweatpants. you were in the bed, his t shirt covering most of your body as you sat on your knees staring at him. “pa i want us t’stay here tonightttt. let’s watch movies and have sex” you whined, making aran chuckle in the mirror before turning around and approaching you. his happy trail in your face as he held your head up by your chin. “we can watch movies and have sex another night mama. tonight we going to celebrate the win.”

now you were here, perched on your boyfriends lap as he talked about the highlights of the game with his teammates. “they was getting mad when me and aran kept scoring off of our serves” atsumu said, aran, osamu, and suna chuckling as they thought back to the game. “yea i saw them arguing in the middle of the court. looked like they was damn near ready to fight” aran said, his big hands rubbing up and down your thighs as he spoke. you doubt that he knew it, but he was making you incredible horny. his freshly faded hair along with his tight black shirt and grey sweats. his black cat jordan’s tapping on the floor as he spoke. his muscular brown arms with tattoos dancing along the skin and his big strong hands playing with the fat of your thighs. he was driving you nuts. you slowly leaned your head down to his ear, your tone sweat and low as you caressed the nape of his neck. “daddy i wanna fuck” you whispered.

all aran gave as a reply was a quick “later ma” before continuing on with his conversation. anger rushed through your veins as you quickly got up and walked away. “what’s wrong wit her?” atsumu mumbled as he watched you storm off deeper into the party. aran just rolled his eyes. “don’t worry bout it bro. she just in one of her moods” as aran continued on being a dickhead, you made your way to the kitchen for a couple drinks. “if ima be here all night i might as well” you mumbled as you poured yourself a hefty cup of what looked like pink whitney. you were halfway done with your cup when you realized you left your phone with aran. “fuck” you said as you began your journey over to him. however, you were stopped in your tracks as you witnessed a group of girls in his and his friend’s faces. atsumu was already making his way upstairs with two as well as osamu with another two while the other four were of course in your man’s face.

“we love watching you play, you’re so talented aran really!” one girl said, her group of friends nodding along to what she was saying, giggling as aran gave her a kind smile from his seat on the couch. “preciate it. glad y’all liked the show” you didn’t even care about the phone anymore. all you thought about was revenge as you went right to the dining room. some if his teammates were there playing pong so you knew it was the perfect place to get aran’s attention. “can i play?” you asked, your sweet voice catching the attention of almost every man in the room. “f’course y’can pretty. you on my team” a guy said. he was cute, tall, lightskin with curly hair. typical fuckboy, but you didn’t care. ‘must be on the football team’ you thought as you noticed the school logo they all got tattooed on his upper arm. you smiled as you approached him, telling him your name before the two of you approached the table.

of course aran’s teammates snitched on you. they were loyal to your boyfriend. plus, you needed them to tell anyways so you can carry out with your revenge. after you, and who you came to know as malik, won another game you raised your hands in the air, purposely bouncing your breasts in “excitement” before giving him a big hug. his muscular body making it hard for you to even wrap your arms around him fully. as the two of you released each other, you felt malik lightly tap your shoulder. “you wanna go upstairs” he whispered. your pretty face making him weak for you as he practically begged you to go with him with his eyes. you were going to shoot him down gently, but your words were cut off by the sound of a deep voice behind you. “nah she good, we boutta leave anyways” aran said, leaving no room for complaint as he took your arm and walked you out of the party.

“got me fucked up” he mumbled as he opened the passenger door for you to get in the car. you slowly sat down, waiting for him to get to his side before you opened your mouth to speak. without looking at you aran spoke instead. “don’t say nun. just take what i give you at the house” his words brought a smirk to your face as aran started his car and began driving the both of you home. the ride was silent and so was the walk into your bedroom. the only sounds coming from either of you were small clanks and clothes shuffling as you changed into one of his t shirts. “take that off” aran mumbled, eyes trained on you as he pointed at the black fabric covering your body. “why? i always wear your shirts to bed” you whined, earning you a stern look as aran made his way towards you. “you not going to bed”

before you could reply, the shirt was snatched off of you. aran pushed you down on the bed before slowly getting on his knees. “if you cum before i say, ima spank you” he mumbled before immediately getting to work. your back arched off the bed at the sudden action. the wetness of his tongue bringing a cool feeling to your clit as he payed close attention to your entrance. he fucked with with his wet mussel, aran’s long tongue giving you the most pleasure you’ve had in days as you kept your legs wide open for him. you moved your hands towards his hair, but they were pulled back down and held on your stomach by one of his hands. aran quickly got back to eating, this time focusing on your clit while breaching your entrance with two thick fingers.

he sucked on your clit delicately before flicking his tongue all around it. “fuck a-aran it feels so good” he replied with a “mhm”, the vibrations of his deep voice making your pussy flutter around his fingers. he knew you weren’t going to last much longer, so to punish you he worked harder. aran’s fingers moved deeper into you as he tongue kissed your clit. his wet tongue swirling all over the bud as he continued humming into your pussy. “shit….wait daddy m’finna….oh my god arannn” your orgasm hit you hard. your legs shaking rapidly as your release shot out of you and all over aran’s face. he stood up, dick fighting against the cotton of his sweats as aran walked towards his dresser.

too in a daze to understand what was going on, you mindlessly let him turn you on your stomach when he came back. ass high in the air as you instantly arched your back as deep as you could. “so needy” he mumbled before taking both of your hands and putting them behind your back. aran attached the fur handcuffs to your wrists before rubbing his big hands all over your ass. occasionally spreading you to get a good look at your awaiting pussy. “you like t’get me mad baby?” you figured now would be the best time to answer truthfully, the yearning for another orgasm clouding your brain as you quickly replied with the truth. “mhm….wanted you t’fuck me” a smile graced aran’s features as he listened to you snitch on yourself. you were such a slut for his dick you had no problem telling him all your sins in hopes that he’ll fuck you.

“so you flirting wit other niggas just so daddy could fuck this pretty pussy?” you replied with a quick “mhm” earning you a hard slap to your ass. aran would usually start of lighter and build up to harder slaps, but tonight he had no patience for it. a loud whine rang through the room as you wiggled your ass at the contact. the flesh already heating up from the force of his hand. he spanked you two more times, each so hard that you knew you’d have a big handprint there in the morning. “that’s not nice mama. if i say no, you supposed to be a good girl and respect that. not go out and be a brat so you could get what you want” you felt no remorse from his words and he could tell by the way your pussy began to leak as he spoke. you were just ready to get fucked. “m’sorry daddy” you said in a sultry tone, your arousal dripping down your thighs as you repeatedly clenched your pussy. aran smirked at the action, giving you another three hard slaps to each of your cheeks.

the volume of your whines increased as you grew restless from the lack of attention to your aching core. “daddy please fuck me. m’so wet please please please” there’s was nothing in this world aran wanted more than to fuck you silly right now. his dick was so hard his precum leaked through his boxers and sweatpants, a small wet patch pointed towards your pussy as if his dick were chasing you. “you gon be good f’me-” “yess! yes i’ll be so good f’you papa” you yelled into your pillow as you wiggled your ass in anticipation. aran slowly freed his dick from his sweats, his tip almost red from how neglected he’s left himself. his precum had the whole top half of him wet at he lined it up with your awaiting pussy. aran knew he shouldn’t be fucking you right now. he should be stroking himself to his release while keeping you face down in the pillow with nothing so you could learn to stop playing with him, but he was so weak for you sometimes it made him sick.

he sunk into you fully, giving you no time to adjust as he began hungrily pounding you into the mattress. he was just as pent up and horny as you right now and all he couldn’t think of was his release. “fuck fuck fuckk…ma you so damn wet” he groaned, his dick twitching repeatedly as he felt your wet walls clench around him. “daddy i love you so much….wont do it again shittt” aran knew you were lying through your teeth, but he couldn’t find it in him to care right now. fucking you with so much vigor your headboard began to slam into the wall. “s’my pussy right mama? say it f’me” the cuffs around your wrists clanked together repeatedly as you tried your best not to reach for him. he was just fucking you so good you needed something to grab. aran noticed this and once again, spoiled you by holding both of your hands in his. he began hitting you deeper, his dick hitting your g spot as you screamed out your response. “yesss fuckkk. this your pussy daddy please m’gonna cummm”

the constant stimulation to your g spot made your legs shake as your orgasm began to rush out of you. clear liquid flying everywhere, wetting aran’s six pack and some of his chest while the rest of it soaked the bed under you. the sight made him weak in the knees as he felt his dick twitch for the final time inside of you before he came as well. “shit ma” he moaned as he spilled his seed deep into you, heavy hand giving you light slaps on the ass while aran moaned about how much he loved you. before you knew it the both of you hit the bed, passed out in pure bliss.

aran was first to wake up, slowly removing the cuffs from your wrist and throwing them somewhere in the room before pulling your body onto his chest. you stirred awake, lifting your head a little to give him a kiss before laying back down his chest. “m’sorry for flirting with another guy. i really won’t do it again” you whispered but aran heard you. giving you a kiss on the forehead while rubbing his hand up and down your back. “s’okay ma, we can talk about it inna mornin” and gave him a quiet “kay” before kissing his chest and letting sleep take the both of you again.

[fangirl-docintraining]

I’m calling this post a Medical Monday™️ post (just gonna go ahead and summon @tragicallyuncreative from her ER shifts for this)

I’m back working in the hospital for this week of my rotations and I feel it is past time I address this topic because I see so many older men in their 60’s and 70’s and it’s been in my head so

Here’s what chronic medical conditions I genuinely worry each member of the gang would get because I know too much and think too hard 😂

Darry: hypertension, bros blood pressure has probably been high since like the beginning of time. Betty hounds his ass and makes sure he takes his meds tho. Also a little coronary artery stuff but nothing major, once again Betty was on that shit long before it could be a problem.

Soda: actually he might be the one I’m least worried about tbh 😂 he’s probs got some high cholesterol but otherwise I actually feel like he’s chillin on a statin. Oh and his knee is arthritic but he probs gets a knee replacement and is like running around after that

Ponyboy: My brother in Christ, your LUNGS 😭 I just know he’s got COPD by like 62 at best and he’s got oxygen he’s gotta wear and he complains about it constantly

Johnny: probably also lungs tbh, though I am much less concerned for him than Ponyboy. But his lungs are also probs not happy. He might get by with inhalers alone for COPD and it drives Ponyboy nuts.

Two Bit: I’m torn yall. His liver is probably very scarred (cirrhosis) so he probs has that. But also he gives the distinct energy of my heart failure exacerbation patient who was on a salt restricted diet because he has too much fluid and all he talked about was once he left the hospital he was gonna get himself a 32 oz steak for dinner. He peed off 50 pounds of water in the hospital 💁🏼‍♀️ and that just screams two bit to me. Bro’s drowning in fluid and is like it’s fine my legs are just swollen 😀

Steve: I fear bro keeps bonking his head, so maybe some long term concussion stuff. Also he def gets arthritis and talks about it constantly (also uses it to get out of doing things)

Dally: I know bro sees a doctor once a decade at best and they once warned him about his numbers being borderline for diabetes and he was like nah. Next time he goes to doctor years later, his A1C is ten and he’s still like “im not diabetic” Betty is horrified 😂

[fandomgirlz01]

Elevators

Joe Keery X Reader

Imagine on fandom instagram?: No

Prompt or Request or Requested Prompt?: No

Style of Writing: Fic  

Rating: PG-13 ~ For fluff and cuteness, but more adult commentary or even some triggering content. 

Edited: Yes

Word count:  6,015

Post Date & Time: July 27th 2024 at 12:17 AM

Ko-fi

Master List

Warnings Here 

You can listen to the story be read out loud here {coming soon}. 

Summary: Joe Keery the Readers very best friend, helps the Reader though one of her biggest fears as well as clams her anxiety until they can get the help they need. 

Authors Note: I know they actually usually film in Atlanta GA, so for the sake of this Fic let’s just say she goes with him and they rent a place out. She works from home so she’s capable of going with.

You’re Pov: 

“Oh my gosh, it’s really 12:00?!” I exclaim as I look at my phone. 

“Umm, yeah. Why?” Natalia asks as she looks at me with concern. 

“I have work on the set in the morning and don’t have my car. I need to take the bus or walk, but now I can’t do either cause it’s so late,” I explain as I pack up some of my stuff in a hurry. 

“Hey. Hey. What’s going on?” Joe asks, reaching out for me as he walks over from where the guys were hanging out. 

“I need to walk home. I have to be at set in the morning,” I quickly explain as I continue to pack up my stuff. 

Once all my stuff is packed up, I quickly rush out a goodbye to everyone before rushing over to the door. I go to open the door, but someone pulls me back. 

“Hey. You are not walking home this late at night, and while it’s storming? No way. I’ll drive you,” Joe offers as he pats his pockets, looking around for his keys. 

“No, J. It’s fine. I’ll get home by myself. I really don’t wanna ruin your time with your cast members. You see me every day, you don’t see them as often as you do me. Spend time with them,” I express and he shakes his head before letting out a small ‘aha’ when finding his keys. 

“If you think I’m letting my life-long best friend walk home in the rain, then you're nuts. Plus, I live there too,” he professes before turning around to the other actors in the room. 

“Goodnight, guys. I’ll see you all bright and early on set. I’ve gotta get y/n home,” Joe quickly explains to the others. 

“Goodnight! See you in the morning!” Noah yells out from across the room before some of the others chime in with ‘goodnights’ to the both of us. 

Joe picks his jacket up off of the back of the couch before coming over to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I smile as I wave to everyone. 

“Goodnight then, I guess!” I yell out and I get a few “goodnights” back as the girls wiggle their eyebrows at me, making me give them a death stare. 

Joe pulls me out of the room and the door closes behind us. We head down the hallway and I start to feel a little guilty. 

“Joe, really, if you want to go back you can. I’ll be fine,” I explain and he shakes his head. 

“If you had your car, I’d be ok with it, but I know it’s in the shop, so no. It’s ok. Really, I’m fine to drive you home,” he informs me and I only nod before a grin takes over my face. 

“I wonder why my car’s in the shop?” I joke as I nudge his side lightly with a smirk on my face. 

“I wouldn’t know why…” he jokes back, playing innocent and I giggle. 

“It couldn’t be because somebody backed it up into a pole when borrowing it now, would it?” I tease him again as I poke his stomach. 

“I have no clue what you're talking about,” he plays coy, shaking his head and I roll my eyes. 

“You definitely know what I’m talking about,” I remark with a smirk and he rolls his eyes now. 

“Ok… there’s a very small chance you may be right…” he jokes as he holds his hand up with his fingers pinching together. 

“A small chance?” I ask, only to giggle when he throws his arms up before letting them drop to his side. 

“Ok, fine, there’s a big chance,” he finally admits sheepishly and I giggle as we come to a stop by the elevator. 

He reaches forward and presses the down button before standing back upright next to me. I eye the door to the stairs for a moment before looking back at the elevator. 

“Bubs…” I whisper out as I bite my lip and he lets out a small “hmm” before turning to look at me with an eyebrow raised. 

“Can’t we just take the stairs?” I ask as I express my fear while he puts his jacket on. 

“Y/n, we’re on the top floor of the Hampton. We’re thirty floors up, sweetheart. Do you really want to walk down thirty flights of stairs?” he asks with an eyebrow raised and I shrug. 

“I don’t know… I just really don’t want to get in that elevator,” I whisper out as I shuffle my feet while refusing to look up at him. 

“Don’t worry. I’m right here with you, ok? I’m right here. I promise you’ll be ok,” he promises as he pulls me to him and wraps his arms around me. 

We stand there for a few minutes just hugging when we both hear the ding. We pull apart and turn to see the door wide open. I take a gulp and Joe takes a step to get in, but I freeze in my spot. 

“Princess, it's really ok. Come on. I’ll stick with you the whole way down,” he explains as he turns back around to look at me. 

“Joe… I… I can’t…” I whimper out and he grabs both my cheeks softly as he keeps eye contact with me. 

“Hey. Hey. You're ok. You can do this, y/n,” Joe speaks calmly as he now starts to rub my right cheek. 

“I don’t know, Joe, it’s gotten a lot worse now,” I explain and he looks at me, confused. 

“How did you even get here earlier, then?” he asks and I try to look away sheepishly, but he just keeps my face in his hands. 

“I, umm… took the stairs. After Eleni {pronounced: E-lane-ie} dropped me off from work on the set, I took the stairs,” I explain embarrassedly and he shakes his head. 

“You could have just called me to come down and get you. I would have,” he affirms and I shake my head now that he’s let go of me. 

“You had work today too. You must have been tired. I didn’t want to make you even more tired,” I explain and just as I finish, the doors slide closed. 

“Damn, we’ll have to get the next one,” Joe mutters as he turns back around and presses the down button again. 

“I don’t care if I’m tired, I still would have come down. Plus we work on the same set, just have different hours,” Joe informs me with a shrug before he turns back to look at me. I fight off the blush I can feel creeping up the back of my neck. 

“I don’t get why we can’t just take the stairs…” I comment timidly and Joe lets out a laugh. 

“Y/n, seriously. It’s thirty flights. You’ve already done enough stairs today. I’m not letting you do more,” he explains before shaking his head and laughing a little more. 

He looks at me and immediately his face changes from amusement to worry when he sees just how frightened I am. He sighs and lets out a small ‘I’m sorry’ before he puts his arm around my shoulder. He moves so he can fully hug me now and rubs the upper part of my arm with his thumb. I wrap my arms around his waist and burrow my head into his shoulder. He holds onto me a little tighter for a moment before rubbing at my scalp to sooth me. 

“I’m right here. Haven’t I always been?” he asks against the side of my forehead and I nod, making him smile. 

“Yes. Yes, you have been,” I agree with him, biting my lip before pulling away from our hug. 

“Well, come on, then. I promise you'll be fine,” he promises me as the elevator dings again, making me jump. 

“I know you're scared, but these things barely ever break down. Plus, you're with me. I’ve got you,” he tries to reassure me again before placing a kiss to the side of my forehead and for a split second I almost forget where we are. 

Soon the doors are sliding open and I feel my heart start to beat frantically, but it’s definitely not because of the happy feelings I normally get when with Joe. His hand falls from my shoulder, but he keeps it on my lower back as he softly guides me inside. I push myself as close to the back wall as I can while he pushes the lobby botton. Not even a minute after he pushes it, the doors slide closed. I take a deep breath before looking at the ceiling above me and letting a shaky one out. 

I grip onto the railing until my knuckles are practically completely white as I wait for it to all start. The elevator gives a light shake before starting to go down and I move my grip from the railing onto Joe’s arm. He lets out a small laugh before pulling his arm from where I had latched myself to him and putting it around my shoulder. He pulls me into another side hug and squeezes my arm lightly, effortlessly making me feel slightly safer. 

“See, it’s ok. We’re fine. We’ll be in the lobby before you know it,” he explains with a light smile and I wrap both arms around him before nuzzling into his side more. 

“I guess you're right. Nothing's happening,” I sigh as I squeeze him a bit and he squeezes my shoulder back. 

It’s quiet and calm for a few minutes until the lights start to flicker. I look at the screen that tells us the floor number, but it glitches from twenty-eight to twenty-seven and I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. The elevator comes to a jolting stop, making me and Joe sway back and forth as he keeps his hold on me. The lights go out, leaving only an emergency light as the only source of light. I look back up at the number to see it still glitching, only this time it’s going between twenty-seven and twenty-six. I feel my heart start to race again as I realize what’s happening and I start to shake in fear. 

“Shit. Princess, it’s ok. We’ll be ok. Press the emergency button. I’ll try 911,” Joe explains as he pulls away and holds me by the shoulders before pulling his phone out. 

I step forward or at least I think I do, but I really don’t. I stay where I am, frozen for a moment before taking a big gulp and walking over to the buttons. It takes me a minute of looking over all the buttons, but I soon find the one with the big red E on it. I lick my lips and press it in hopes that the lights will magically come back on. When they don’t, I panic before starting to press the button over and over again. 

I only can hope that someone will answer our emergency, but my brain tells me to just keep pushing it even though nobody has. I feel a hand lay on my back and another one comes up to pull my hand from the panel of buttons. I look up at Joe and he pulls me into a hug and just holds me as he puts his phone up to his ear. 

“Hi, 911. What’s your emergency?” I hear a lady’s voice come over the speaker of the phone. 

“Umm, hi. I’m currently at the Hilton hotel, but uhh, I think the power must have gone out or something because we are stuck in the elevator,” Joe explains to her in as calm of a tone as he can so I won’t panic further. 

“Ok. Can you tell me what floor you're on?” The dispatch lady asks and I feel him move his head to look. 

“Umm, it’s glitching between twenty-six and twenty-seven, so maybe on twenty-six,” he replies and she gives a small ‘Hmm, ok’. 

“Are you alone, sir?” she asks and he shakes his head. 

“No,” he replies as he gives me a light squeeze again. 

“Can you tell me who’s with you?” she asks and he again nods even though she can’t see him. 

“Yeah. It’s just me and my girl here,” he responds back to her and my eyes widen. 

He’s never called me his girl before. It’s always been sweetheart or sweets or my best friend, but never his girl. 

I zone out as she asks him a few more questions and I don’t catch them at all, but soon he’s hanging up with her. He looks down at me before sighing and leading me over to the wall to lean me against it. 

“Sit right here, ok? I’m going to go call Natalia or Charlie, ok?” he asks and all I can manage is a light tiny nod as a tired feeling washes over me. 

I watch as he walks over to the other corner and types something out on his phone. He brings it up to his ear as his other hand rubs at his face. I feel shaky so I slip down the wall and pull my legs up to my chest before resting my chin on my knees. Hot sticky tears start to roll down my cheeks as I watch him scratch at his chin. Panic attacks aren’t a new thing for me, not at all.  

They've followed me all the way up into adulthood and Joe has seen almost every single one since we were about nine. This, however, is the worst one that I’ve had since I was maybe twelve. It didn’t help that I always overthought things growing up. Joe was always there to talk those thoughts out with me as he is now. But this… this was my absolute worst fear playing out in front of me. I remember all those nights in high school where I’d text him about how my brain just wouldn’t shut off and that I couldn’t sleep. 

He’d always known that was me telling him I felt an attack coming on. So he’d rush over from his house next door and cuddle with me to calm me. At first my dad never understood, until suddenly he just did. He started leaving the back door unlocked for Joe and I later found out my mother had told him how calm Joe made me. 

“Hey. Me and y/n are kind of umm… stuck…” he explains into the phone, sort of snapping me out of my thoughts. 

“Of course I’m fine. It’s y/n I’m worried about. She’s on the very edge of having a big attack,” he whispers into his phone and he rubs his neck as he listens to whoever he called. 

“Yeah. No. I’ll be ok taking care of her. I’ve been with her through almost every attack. I know how to keep her calm,” he tells them before pausing to listen to them. 

“Yes. I already called 911, they should be here in like five to ten minutes,” he answered whatever question was asked before shaking his head. 

“Umm, I don’t know. Could you guys just be down there when they do get us out?” he asks and nods to a few things that are being said. 

“Ok. Yeah. Thanks, man. We’ll see you soon,” he gives his goodbye before hanging up the phone. 

He shoves his phone back in his pocket before turning around. He looks down at me before frowning and coming back over. He lowers himself down next to me before putting his arm around my shoulder and pulling me into his side again. I start to cry harder and he rubs my back as he coos softly to me. I basically sob into his shirt while gripping it and he just keeps massaging my back lightly while continuing to coo soft nothings in my ear. 

“Hey, take a breath for me, please? Come on sweets, you can do it,” Joe’s voice comes out soft but authoritative as he still holds onto me. 

“Hey. There she is…” he says proudly as he softly holds my cheeks in his hands and rubs my cheek for a moment as he gives me a soft smile. 

He pulls away from me for a split second and takes his jacket off before he drapes the jacket over my shoulders. Then he quickly pulls me back into his side as he kisses the side of my forehead again, making me start to feel a little safer in his arms. 

“It’s ok, sweetheart. I’m right here. I’m not leaving. Just pretend we’re home and cuddled up in your bed,” he tells me as he rubs his thumb in circles on my lower back under his jacket. 

Back when Joe first found out he got the role of Steve, we were both so excited that his career would be taking off. Then we were sad because he had to move out of our LA apartment to go film. Not wanting to be away from me for long, he got me a job on the set as the “assistant” to the Duffer Brothers with production plans and decisions. So together we both moved to a new apartment and started our new jobs together. The girls always refer to us when we walk up as “and they were roommates!” before bursting into giggles. I schedule almost everything for Ross Duffer and sometimes I sit in meetings for him or I stay really late to help him with whatever he’d be doing on set. 

I also help make sure everything on set is to the actors and actress' likings. We did keep our old apartment for when we were back in LA, but for the most part we both stay in Atlanta more times out of the year. I just have more hours and a lot of work sometimes, so Joe and I always drive separately. As of lately, though, we have been carpooling a lot of the time. My sobbing slowly starts to calm down, but as I do I start to feel dizzy. I let out a light whimper and I nuzzle my head into his neck. 

“I promise we’ll be fine. I’ll get you out of here no matter what and when have I not kept a promise to my best girl, hmm?” he asks as he grips onto my hip and I jump, making him chuckle a little. 

“Joe… I’m dizzy…” I groan out and he nods before placing another kiss on my forehead. 

“I know. You always get dizzy after an attack. Just relax, ok. I’m not leaving you. I wouldn’t be able to leave you like this. It’d hurt too much to walk away. I love you, sweetheart,” he explains, his voice becoming breathless at the end as he pushes some of my hair away from my face. 

My eyes grow wide as I look at him and he just gives me a small smile as he shrugs. He reaches up to my cheek that’s not against his shoulder and wipes a still falling tear. 

Did Joe freaking Keery, my best friend since literal diapers, the guy I’ve lived with since graduating high school just tell me he loves me? No. I must just be imagining it after that attack…

“Do you wanna lay down? You still haven’t gotten your color back, sweetheart,” he asks after a moment and I nod before slowly moving. 

I start to lay down with my cheek on his thigh and he lifts an arm before laying it on the upper part of my arm. I keep his jacket around me like a blanket and close my eyes as he starts to rub my head. He starts to hum one of the new songs he’s been working on and I let a light smile take form on my lips. Soon his humming stops and it grows quiet for a few minutes. I can only assume that we’re both desperate to think of a way out of this elevator, but the more I think about it the more panic starts to set in again. 

“J…?” I whisper out with a hoarse voice from crying and I move to look up at him. 

“What, sweetheart?” he asks as he looks down at me. 

“Can you please, please, please just distract me? The silence is driving me insane and I don’t wanna overthink everything,” I admit and he smiles softly at me. 

I push up off of him and he quickly wraps his arms around me, pulling me so I lean against him. I snuggle my face into his chest and he lets out a chuckle. 

“Sweets, that tickles,” he notes as he laughs and I just shrug. 

“Wait a minute, were you trying to do that?” he exclaims when he sees a coy smile on my lips. 

“Maybe… you deserve it, though!” I joke and he rolls his eyes. 

“Why! You sneaky little thing!” he shouts before he gives my side a little pinch. 

We laugh for a few minutes before it goes quiet again so I slap his shoulder. He rubs at the place before shaking his head. 

“What was that for?” he asks and I shrug. 

“Talk to me. I can’t do the silence,” I explain and he nods his head. 

“Ok. Ahh, let’s see… Do you remember freshman year homecoming?” he asks and I nod. 

“Yeah. You almost did a Steve that night and got into a fight with Jimmy Kavinsky, Peter‘s little brother,” I remark and he rolls his eyes. 

“I didn't turn into Steve! I would have done a lot better than my character in a fight,” he proclaims and I give him a ‘really?’ look. 

“Joe. Jimmy’s always been bigger than you,” I deadpan and he groans. 

“That’s not the point!” he shouts in frustration and I grab his hand. 

“Ok. I’m sorry. What was the point?” I ask him calmly and he smiles. 

“The point is that I was there with Sarah, but I thought you were the most beautiful girl there,” he exhales exasperatedly from how fast he had been talking, rolling his eyes at himself as I smile, squeezing his hand encouragingly. 

“Then when I saw the look you had when Jimmy ditched you for Victoria, all I wanted to do was beat him and make you smile again,” he continues shaking his head as he frowns. 

“It wasn’t right to me that he put a frown on your face. You should always have a smile and if anyone took that away…” he finishes off with a sigh while refusing to look at me and my eyes tear up for a second before I reach up for his cheeks.  

“Awe, Joe…” I coo softly at him as I jokingly move his face around for a second. “If it helps, I didn’t want to go with him in the first place…” I remark and he gives me a confused look. 

“What? But you talked about it for a week before he actually asked you,” he mutters and I shake my head, letting go of his face as I now play with a loose thread on my shorts. 

“I only decided to go with him because you hadn’t asked me yet, you doofus,” I joke with him, now finally looking at him again and he still looks confused, so I sigh. 

“Allison stupidly got it into my head that Jimmy liked me and that he should take me since you, and I quote, ‘oh so obviously’ weren’t going to ask apparently. So I became laser focused on him. As I do with everything I normally shouldn’t be focused on,” I explain with a light shrug and he perks up. 

“Wait, you wanted me to ask you?” he asks, eyes lighting up in excitement and I giggle. 

“Yes, Joe. I’ve only had a crush on you since we were ten, but who’s keeping track?” I joke with another lame shrug and he shakes his head. 

“Wait, so I could have asked and you would have said yes?!” he shouts in shock and I giggle, nodding. 

“Aww man, I’m such an idiot!” he exclaims as he rubs at his face, making me giggle again as I grab his hand and pull them away from his face. 

“If it makes you feel better, I couldn’t stop thinking how handsome you were that night. I also just wanted to just run my hands through your hair,” I explain with a light smirk and he chuckles. 

“What is it with you and my hair?” he asks me and I grin. 

“What?! It’s just so cute and soft…” I murmur and he chuckles. 

“It’s also not so bad when you have the Steve hair added to it after filming too,” I sheepishly admit and he smirks. 

“So you have a thing for my hair, huh? Well I actually have a thing for yours too,” he explains as he reaches out to toy with a strand of mine. 

“Your hair is actually just one of the many reasons I love you,” I whisper out as I look away. 

It’s quiet for a minute and I decide to chance a look at him. When I do, I see his mouth slightly parted in shock and his eyes wide. 

Was it really so bad that I love my best friend? 

“I…I’m sorry. You probably meant-” I start to try apologizing, but I’m cut off when he slams his lips into mine. 

At first I’m still in shock from being in the middle of saying something, but I slowly start to kiss back. My arms reach up and wrap around his neck as his hands stay firmly on my hips as he pulls me ever so closer. I find my hands moving up to grip his hair as he squeezes my hips. 

Kissing him brings a pleasant warmth to my chest as he brings his hand up to my neck and holds me even closer. I feel his thumb rub my neck ever so sweetly, making more and more butterflies swarm my stomach. The kiss only lasts a few more minutes before we both pull away, breathing heavily. 

He rubs his nose lightly against mine and I smile softly as his hand now lays on my cheek instead of my neck. He smiles softly as he pushes some of my hair out of my face and I feel a blush start to kick in so I shove my face into his neck, making him chuckle. 

“Why you hiding from me, huh?” he asks as he squeezes my shoulder and I blush harder, shaking my head. 

I start to say something, but get cut off by a loud ding and suddenly to our surprise, the doors of the elevator are sliding open. We both look up as they open, seeing Charlie and Natalia standing next to some paramedics. Slowly Joe helps me get up as he gets up too and he quickly hands me over to a paramedic. 

“You go get checked out. I’m going to talk with Charlie and possibly the technician over there,” Joe tells me, but I grip his hand and shake my head. 

“Not without you. Please…” I almost whimper, not wanting him to leave my side and he squeezes my hand. 

“Sweetheart, you're ok. I promise I’ll come right back over in a minute. Natalia, will you stay with her?” he asks her and she nods. 

“See, Natalia will be with you. I’ll be quick I promise, just wanna understand what happened,” he explains softly and I sigh, nodding before letting his hand go. 

“Come on. Let’s get you looked at, yeah?” Natalia asks as she guides me over to a chair and one of the paramedics comes over. 

“Hi. My name is Hen. I’m just gonna look you over and make sure you’re doing ok, alright, sweetie?” she questions and I nod to let her know that I’m ok with it. 

“What happened in there, y/n? Are you ok?” Natalia queries as she fusses over me while I take a seat in one of the lobby chairs. 

“I’m fine. Joe kept me sane,” I tell her as I look over at him and he looks over at us. 

“Omg! You guys kissed, didn't you?!” Natalia exclaims at me with her eyes wide. 

“No…” I reply, trailing off as I refuse to meet her eyes. 

“Oh they so did,” Hen comments with a chuckle and I feel a blush creep up my neck. 

“Ok… yeah, we did…” I admit, biting my lip and Natalia just grins. 

“Y/n. Oh my gosh. It’s actually happening. I knew you guys would end up together. I told you,” she excitedly pushes my shoulder lightly. 

“Yeah, yeah,” I reply with a playful eye roll. 

Hen now asks me questions, if I could breathe properly and checks my heart rate as well as checking my blood pressure. Natalia hovers and it makes me roll my eyes with fondness at how she worries over me. Charlie and Joe stand over to the side talking with the tech, but Joe keeps looking over at us every so often. 

“Well. You’re doing okay, I would just suggest that you rest up a bit after all this,” Hen informs me and I nod tiredly as I feel the exhaustion come over me. 

“And here, take this,” Hen adds as she holds out some Advil for me along with a water bottle. 

“How’d you know?” Natalia asks and Hen turns to look up at her. 

“How’d I know what?” Hen asks in confusion and Natalia points to the advil. 

“That she gets headaches after her panic attacks,” Natalia illuminates and Hen chuckles. 

“A lot of people tend to. If you’ve been hyperventilating or anything that includes losing breath, you cut off circulation to the brain so it’ll definitely pack on a headache,” Hen expertly explains and Natalia nods along. 

“That young man that was trapped with her asked my partner if we could make sure she got some just in case. He seems to know you and your panic attacks very well,” Hen tells us as she points over at Joe and I blush lightly. 

“He’s been with me though all of them,” I shyly reply and she smiles up at me before she starts to put some stuff back in her bag. 

“Well I’m glad you have someone to help you though. Not everyone does. Now get some rest, you’ll definitely feel a little drained,” Hen says as she finishes putting her stuff in her bag. 

“Oh, she will be,” Natalia promises, making Hen smile softly as she stands, nodding before she leaves us be. 

“He’s looking over here at you,” Natalia jokingly taunts me. 

“I’m sure he’s only-” I start to again deny anything, but she cuts me off. 

“Here he comes,” she excitedly tells me with a smile and I shake my head in disbelief at her. 

“Hey. How’s she doing?” Joe asks her as he walks up to us. 

“The paramedic said she’s doing just fine. She just suggested that she rests after the whole ordeal,” Natalia explains to him and I roll my eyes. 

“Talia, I have work in the morning. Most rest I’ll be getting is an hour's sleep at the most now,” I retort with annoyance clear in my voice. 

“What! But-” she goes to reprimand me, but she stops when a hand gets placed on her shoulder. 

“Natalia, I got this. We’ll see you soon okay?” Joe softly asks her and she sighs before nodding. 

“You make her rest, you hear me?” she asks him and he chuckles, throwing his hands up in surrender. 

“Don’t you worry. I definitely will be,” he promises her and she nods one last final time. 

“Good. Well then, I’ll leave you guys alone. Y/n, I better not see you on set at all today, got it?” she asks when she turns back to me and I sigh, nodding. 

“Good. Now go and get really rested up. I’ll see you soon,” Natalia finalizes with a smile before nodding and walking away. 

“Come on. Let’s get you home. You need rest,” Joe comments as he holds his hand out for me. 

“But J, I really need to just go home and change,” I reply and he shakes his head. 

“Why are you so stubborn? Let’s just get going, come on,” he groans out as he pulls me up and pulls me into his side as we start to walk. 

“Sweetheart…” Joe sighs out as we start to see his car and I let out a hum. 

“Please just call in sick. I’m sure the brothers will be okay with it. You really had a big one and need the rest,” Joe pleads with me as we get closer and closer to the car. 

“J. I’ll be okay. I’ve made it on set with only an hour’s worth of sleep before. I can live off of none at all,” I joke and he stops us, pulling my hand to make me stop. 

“Please just call in sick,” he begs again and I sigh, letting go of his hand to start walking without him. 

“J. Really, I’ll be okay,” I tell him as I now stand next to the car and I hear him groan in frustration. 

Suddenly I’m being pulled around and I look up into his eyes. I look at him in confusion with my lips parted from the light squeak I’d let out. I stare into his beautiful chocolate brown eyes that seem to be infused with a light green that I’d never noticed before and lose all thought as I only see pure worry swirling around.

“J… I’m okay…” I whisper out and he sighs, shaking his head. 

He doesn’t even say a word, but I let out a confused hum as he lightly pushes me against the car. His hands now find my waist as his lips find mine and my arms come up around his neck. He kisses me for a moment before pulling away, sighing as he leans his forehead against mine. 

“Let me reword that. Call in sick, stay home with me and we’ll cuddle all day and just spend the day together letting you rest,” he pleads with me one more time and then it clicks for me. 

“Okay… I think that we can do…” I whisper out and he slowly grins. 

“Yeah?” he asks and I smile, pecking his lips. 

“Yeah. Let’s go home,” I confirm and now all the worry has seemingly left his body. 

“Ok then. Let’s go home,” he happily agrees as he goes to pull away. 

“Wait,” I call out as I pull him back in. 

“What?” he asks and I just smirk at him. 

“I want another kiss,” I tell him as I rub my thumb along his cheek and he chuckles. 

“Okay…” he agrees before pulling me back into another kiss, but all too soon he pulls away again and I’m left groaning, making him laugh. 

“Come on, you nut. Let’s get you home,” he chuckles, shaking his head. 

“But I want more kisses,” I whine out and he shakes his head as he opens my door. 

“You can steal all the ones you want when we get home,” he tells me as I get in and I grin up at him. 

“You promise?” I playfully ask him and he chuckles, shaking his head again. 

“I swear on my life, sweetheart,” he promises before closing my door and running around to his side. 

“And you wanted to take the stairs…” he jokes with a playful roll of his eyes as he starts the car. 

“Oh…! You…” I call out in my shock as I smack his arm and he chuckles. 

“Hey. I’m just stating the truth,” he shrugs and I smile at him as I cuddle up to his arm. 

“Oh, would you just be quiet,” I roll my eyes at him and he chuckles again as he continues to drive. 

The End...

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[goldengleams]

cuddle day | trevor zegras

In which Trevor wants to have a cuddle day.

Some Trevor Zegras fluff to get your week started!

————————————————————————

“Ugh, Trevor let go of me!”

“Why don’t you love me, Y/N?”

“Because you’re a pain in my ass, Z!”

You rolled your eyes at your overdramatic boyfriend, Trevor. He was seated next to you on one of the kitchen barstools, practically in your lap, watching you as you tried to do some work on your laptop. He knew you needed to get work done, but he was having a clingy day where he demanded your cuddles and slouched around in his comfy clothes.

“Z, I gotta do some work, babe,” you said softly. You didn’t get to see this side of Trevor much since he was so busy during the season, so you tried to spend as much time with him as possible.

“Yeah but you’re always working,” Trevor whined.

“Well, that is how I make money, so,” you laughed. “I have to send three more emails and then we can cuddle, okay?”

Trevor just sighed loudly instead of answering you. He trudged off to his bedroom and you could hear him grumbling under his breath about how you should just move into his apartment. Knowing that was a conversation for another day, you went back to typing on your computer.

Jamie made his way into the kitchen to grab a drink from the fridge, having passed Trevor on his way.

“Your boyfriend looks like he needs a cuddle, Y/N,” Jamie teased. He was well aware of Trevor’s moods after living with him for months.

“No, Jamie. Your boyfriend is driving me nuts,” you countered. Jamie just let out a laugh before heading out to the gym.

Typing as fast as you could, you quickly finished up your work and closed your laptop with a relieved sigh. Now, you could finally go cuddle with Trevor.

You grabbed a few snacks from the cupboard and two waters for you and Trevor before heading into his bedroom. He was laying across the bed, scrolling through tik tok when you walked in.

“Oh my god, my girlfriend isn’t just an email machine,” Trevor mused, pushing himself up on his elbows. He had ditched his beanie and his hair was flowing effortlessly. He had his glasses on which made him look even more domestic, and you had to restrain yourself from jumping right at him.

“I wish I didn’t have to be an ‘email machine’, but it’s all for my internship,” you said, setting down all of the snacks and your drinks. “It’ll all be worth it, I think.”

“Yes it will, you’re like, the smartest person I know, babe,” Trevor said. He was the best at reassuring you, all of his compliments and advice rolling off his tongue so easily and honestly.

“Alright, now come cuddle me before I implode.” Trevor rolled onto his back and threw his arms open, waiting for you to climb in next to him.

You obliged, settling in next to him with your head on his chest. He wiggled closer to you, if that was even possible since you were practically on top of each other. His hair started to tickle your face, making you laugh softly.

“Missed you, Y/N,” Trevor sighed. You knew Trevor wanted to spend more time with you, but his schedule in the middle of the season wouldn’t allow it. Any quality time you could get together was spent glued to each other in some activity, whether it be going out or just hanging inside.

“Missed you, too, Z,” you said.

Trevor furrowed his eyebrows, tugging you closer to him. “Well, you should just move in and then you’re always here. Hey, even better, you should just get a job with the Ducks and then you can travel with us!”

You both burst into laughter. “You want me to be a Ducks groupie, Z?”

“I mean you could be a groupie for me and we could–”

“Don’t even finish that sentence, Trevor!”

You climbed up onto his lap as he welcomed you easily. You tucked his hair behind his ear and kissed him sweetly. “You’re crazy,” you mused, as he left a kiss down your jawline.

“Yeah, I know,” Trevor said. “But I’m lucky I get to call you mine.”

For the rest of the afternoon, you stayed right in Trevor’s bed, cuddling and watching your comfort movies. Jamie found you a few hours later, both fast asleep, and smiled to himself at his two close friends.

————————————————————————

Hope you enjoy!!

[violasghost]

The Exes and Oh’s of Chenford-The Rookie 7x06 Review

So, they went there! I wasn’t sure if they would. With past history, was kind of thinking it would be a tease and maybe there would be a kiss and then one of them would get cold feet and poof, we’d have to be tortured for a while longer. But guess now that they did cross that bridge, I’m kind of experiencing mixed emotions as a result.

On the one hand, Chenford is sizzling! I mean c’mon, everyone can see it. Hell, even my mom who is a casual viewer walked in the room when the gala scene was on and happened to notice Chenford and questioned off handedly when she saw them acting awkwardly around one another, ‘I thought they were a couple?’ in reference to Lucy and Tim.

And honestly, that said, Exes aside, they really do act like a couple, do they not? If a casual bystander were to observe them leaning in speaking to one another or intimately gazing across the room, they would likely assume they were an item or at the very minimum, very close. So, packing that little observation aside—we still have our purple elephant in the room. The thing they dare never to speak of the big reason for the breakup. Don’t know why its so taboo. I’m hoping this will be explored down the line, and the writers have not decided to gloss over everything and just treat them like two horny exes, since we still don’t have any answers as to really—why? (Other than, perhaps it may have brought it more ratings because it creates more drama and added bonus-drives the Chenford fans nuts.)

I think what frustrates me (and it’s not just this episode, this has been building slowly over time) and don't get me wrong, I did appreciate the many lovely intimate moments between Lucy and Tim and Melissa and Eric did not disappoint in the slightest (they did phenomenal with the material they were given), but the part that is missing, that has always been missing, is communication. They had a few opportunities to open up and maybe even dive a bit into the postmortem of their relationship. Like at the ‘Turn in your Ex’ booth. The writers could have easily cut out one of the many ‘grumpy Tim’ clips in lieu of one heartfelt admission from either Lucy or Tim about something they were feeling they felt short on when they were a couple, even if it was something funny/annoying about what they thought about the other. Then they get to the surveillance van, another close intimate moment—and another opportunity missed for some kind of personal admission of true feelings; and when Lucy is sipping the glass of wine at the Gala and they have a moment to kind of reflect and pause and still, nada about their personal feelings, and then lastly it’s the morning after and they both walk away awkwardly—yeah I get it was weird and they are both afraid to go there, but someone’s gotta crack (my money’s on Tim doing it first btw).

There were heaps and tons of longing looks, angst, all that. So much I almost wonder where was this Tim and Lucy in S6 when they were quarrelling all the time? S7E6 version of Tim and Lucy was flirty, sexy, and had chemistry off the charts (chemistry has never been their problem), but as far as talking about their feelings go, I’m sorry but Chenford gets a big fat ‘F’ from moia. There has been no improvement since their breakup and really no resolution or growth shown to prove they are ready for Chenford 2.0. (SPOLER CHAT: Wasn’t there an interview awhile ago from Eric saying Tim was doing the work and going to therapy or something?) Maybe that’s still coming up, but this really needs to be shown, and I think this needs to 100% be his focus if he ever wants to have a chance of getting back with Lucy. And honestly, I think our girl Lucy needs to own up to her feelings too and stop hiding behind what’s comfortable and safe and confront it head on. I still have hope for our star-crossed duo, but I think they have to get their sh*t together first. They can both pretend that they are focusing on their careers or whatever, but they both have some growing up to do emotionally and mentally if they ever want to be in a real adult partnership and relationship.

Taking a step back, I truthfully go back and forth on the better scenario, because although I do like the other characters, I’m sorry but Nolan and Bailey got married what less than a year ago and their romantic scenes are pretty much non-existent at this point, so perhaps allowing Lucy and Tim to play in the kiddie pool is a good thing, for now? I mean some of what they are doing appears pretty immature for where they were couple-wise, but they are getting a lot more action and screen time this way. I guess we as the Chenford-nation can’t always get everything we want. But we are getting lots of sexy time and angst. And when we want more, we just turn to fan fiction, right? 😉

For the other characters, my heart went out to Miles. He really did try his best to be honorable and be there for his girl. I hope he finds someone soon. Actually, I kind of saw a small spark between Miles and Celina, not sure if anyone else saw that but they might be kind of cute together, no?

I did like Nolan and Bailey having a rare fight. It was refreshing to see the perfect couple with flaws. Kinda feel for Nolan on that one though, but also Bailey since she was the one who had to deal with her psychopathic ex. I think Nolan was smothering her though, making her stay at Lucy’s place and all. It was her way of having her own power, so it was understandable. And yey-Jason’s dead, end of that storyline, so even better. Thanks Malvado!

I love Wesley and Angela but Wesley dude, needed to relax a bit about the detective, man Wesley was really obsessed with that guy. Yeah, he admitted he had sexual fantasies about Wesley’s wife but it was in the confidence of his therapist and Wesley has to trust Angela to know she wouldn’t act on it and Angela is totally capable of defending herself. Anyhow, stupid macho behavior IMO.

Looking forward to next week. Also really hope when Tim tells Nolan “Don’t screw up like I did with Lucy,” that maybe not right away but at some point, Nolan tells Tim back that, “It’s never too late.”

And just cause I couldn’t resist, leaving the below gif here too because Viva la Chenford! <3

[razorblade-richards26]

the outsiders: two bit edition( because he’s the most underrated)

Scene: The Curtis House – Afternoon

The gang is sitting around the living room, trying to figure out what to do. Two-Bit is lounging on the couch, flipping through a comic book.

Dally: (frustrated) I’m bored. What’s there to do around here?

Two-Bit: (without looking up) How about you go find some Socs and offer them free haircuts? You know, show ‘em what they’re missing.

Steve: (laughing) You’d probably get yourself killed, man.

Two-Bit: (grinning) Yeah, but at least they’d look good for their funerals.

Scene: The Drive-In – Night

The gang is watching a movie, but Two-Bit is more interested in cracking jokes. He’s sitting next to Johnny, who’s trying to focus on the screen.

Johnny: (whispering) Two-Bit, I’m trying to watch the movie.

Two-Bit: (smirking) What’s to watch? The plot’s thinner than Dally’s patience.

Johnny: (grinning) You’re impossible.

Two-Bit: (shrugging) Hey, if you wanted peace and quiet, you should’ve gone to the library.

Scene: The Park – Morning

The gang is hanging out at the park, talking about the upcoming rumble. Two-Bit is leaning against a tree, sipping a soda.

Darry: (serious) We’ve got to be ready for anything. No messing around.

Two-Bit: (raising his soda) I’ll drink to that. Here’s to getting our heads kicked in—again.

Sodapop: (laughing) You’re not supposed to be looking forward to that, Two-Bit.

Two-Bit: (grinning) What can I say? I’m a sucker for punishment.

Scene: The Curtis House – Evening

The gang is gathered around the kitchen table, eating dinner. Two-Bit, as usual, is cracking jokes between bites.

Ponyboy: (talking about school) I’ve got this new English teacher who’s all about Shakespeare.

Two-Bit: (grinning) Shakespeare, huh? I bet you’re the only greaser who knows what that guy was talking about.

Ponyboy: (smiling) Maybe.

Two-Bit: (mocking serious) “To be or not to be—that’s the question.” My question is, who’s got the guts to finish this meatloaf?

Dally: (laughing) You’re hopeless, Two-Bit.

Scene: The Rumble – Night

The gang is getting ready for the rumble, and tensions are high. Two-Bit, as usual, tries to lighten the mood.

Darry: (serious) Everyone stay sharp. We don’t want any screw-ups.

Two-Bit: (grinning) Don’t worry, Darry. I’ve got a secret weapon.

Steve: (raising an eyebrow) What, your mouth?

Two-Bit: (laughing) Exactly. I’ll keep talking till they beg for mercy.

Scene: The Curtis House – Afternoon

Two-Bit walks in on Ponyboy studying for a test. He takes one look at the textbook and shakes his head.

Two-Bit: (smirking) Man, you’re making the rest of us look bad with all that studying.

Ponyboy: (grinning) Someone’s gotta do it.

Two-Bit: (sitting down) Not me. I prefer to keep my brain cells intact.

Ponyboy: (laughing) Too late for that, Two-Bit.

Two-Bit: (mock offended) Hey, I resemble that remark!

Scene: The Dingo – Night

The gang is hanging out at The Dingo, drinking sodas and talking about their day. Two-Bit, of course, can’t resist making a joke.

Sodapop: (talking about work) This guy came in today and ordered the weirdest combo—pickles and peanut butter on toast.

Two-Bit: (grinning) Sounds like he’s got the taste buds of a pregnant woman.

Steve: (laughing) Or he’s just nuts.

Two-Bit: (smirking) Hey, maybe he’s onto something. I could start a new trend—call it “Two-Bit’s Totally Twisted Taste Test.”

Dally: ……. You’re twisted.

[wisteriasymphony]

When Claudia sees him in the hallway—sees the blood streaming from his face—she races over, barely able to keep her slippers from sliding out from under her feet. It's a sight he could get used to, the... less polite sides of him posture, the yellowed lights of the building bouncing off her tanned thighs as she gets closer and closer. She must've been expecting him to already be at the door, given the pajamas she was wearing: Nothing she'd normally want people to see her in. 8cm shorts, baggy Gojira shirt, mismatched socks.

Claudia crashes into him, and in that brief and stunning moment, the all-too-quotidian coup de foudre, Adrien is reminded that she cares. It's really that, not the force of her body slamming against his, that almost sweeps him off his balance. But how could he ever bring himself to question that? He prefers to assume such things and search for the confirmation. Maybe it's just that the evidence is plain in front of him, as easy to read as the way her shoulders hunch in worry as Claudia claws at the back of his coat, an attempt to rip him apart to pieces and fit him inside her ribcage.

"What the fuck happened to you?!" she spits out, once she finally wills herself to keep a bit of distance between them. Still, her hands have moved to grip his arms fiercly. "Did you get hit by a car?"

Adrien just shrugs. "I got in a fight." It's not wrong, but it's vague enough to feel that way. So he adds "…I lost."

Claudia can't keep herself from clawing him back into a hug. Adrien falters again for a moment, hands too preoccupied with scrambling to catch the flow of blood from his nose to smear any on her own back by returning the embrace.

"Should we-?"

"Shut up."

Claudia squeezes him tighter as she says it. Her head rests on his shoulder, although her face is turned away, whatever expression there is on it being masked by a mane of half-brushed curls. She'd been in the middle of combing when he messaged her, probably.

"Sweetheart, you're gonna get blood on your shirt."

It illicits another curt response—One so short and sharp, he thinks, that it could only be interpreted as an intentional obstruction. The phrase is a dam, cold concrete, holding back the rest of what she means, for if a single extra syllable was carried with it then the whole rest would spill out of her mouth.

"So what?"

It's alright, is what it implies. You being in my arms is more important than some stupid blood on my shirt.

Adrien hugs her back, and only then does she pull away.

"Ayyyyy," she huffs. "You're trying to get yourself fucking killed out there now? I thought the plan was you wanted to loop me into it." Claudia rolls her eyes, and adds a "You gotta start thinking with your big head again," rapping her knuckles gently on his forehead as she says it. "'Got in a fight', for fucks' sakes. You're driving me nuts."