#im terrible at shopping in general. :/

[kimmkitsuragi]

oh my fucking god i don't have any clothesssss

[wawek]

I havent spoken to anyone in 5 days...

[milksnake-tea]

❀ ˎˊ- prompt: wise likes you, and just about everyone on sixth street knows. ❀ ˎˊ- wise x gn!reader ❀ ˎˊ- wc: 1.3k ❀ ˎˊ- warnings: slightly ooc wise idk im still lvl 26 okay ❀ ˎˊ- a/n: thanks you stellaronhvnters for plaguing my mind w wise. anywho this my mini break from the series LMAO wise. i love you king.

Wise can hardly focus, and for once, it isn’t because of you.

Not that he minds being distracted by you - quite the opposite. He could spend hours just watching you talk and getting lost in your eyes, occasionally nodding or agreeing with whatever you were talking about the day. He liked hearing your voice; it was soothing like a cool river, especially after a grueling day.

But this time, it’s him who’s being stared at, and to his disappointment, the one burning holes into him isn’t you (although he severely doubts he could handle it if it were to be you).

No, instead, General Chop stares at him from the corner of his eye as he prepares other customers’ orders, a hint of knowing in his usual smile. Wise can see the excitement in the chef’s eyes, and it doesn’t take a genius to know why.

“Wise?”

He seizes up, bumping his chopsticks. He’s quick to fix himself as you shoot him a nervous, but questioning smile.

“Sorry, you were saying?” he says smoothly (at least he hopes it’s smooth, he still doesn’t know how to talk to pretty people), eager to move past his minor mishap.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” you laugh. “I was just saying that you have a little something on your face.”

Wise feels his cheeks warm. “Oh, really? Thanks for telling me.”

He moves to grab some napkins, but you beat him to it. Wise swears something in him malfunctions when he turns and suddenly you’re all too close to him, your hand reached out to clean up his face.

“Wha- Wait, what’re you-” he sputters, nearly falling off his stool as he lurches back.

“Hey, stand still,” you scold, your slight annoyance only serving to speed up his heart rate because who in the world said it was okay for you to be this cute.

At this point, he wouldn’t be surprised if steam was coming from his head, with how fuzzy his mind feels. He can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t do anything but just sit there, dazed as you dab obliviously at the corner of his lip.

As you pull away, he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, mentally thanking whatever deities reigned above that he hadn’t fainted on the spot. That would’ve been embarrassing; Belle would never let him live it down.

His face feels cooler - hopefully it isn’t so red anymore. By the time he’s able to think coherently again, you’ve started chatting again. Wise nods along (he has no idea what you’re talking about), and goes to slurp up some of his noodles when he sees General Chop again.

The chef, obviously holding back a cackle, grins encouragingly at him and flashes him a thumbs up in support. Wise internally groans. Would it be a bad idea if he drowned himself in his noodles right now?

And this isn’t the first time either - Wise is pretty sure the entirety of Sixth Street is aware of his… ugh, crush on you (saying it out loud both hurts him and makes him feel warm inside. Which is a terrible feeling. He wants to throw up).

Just last week, he’d seen you at the Coff Café, and Tin Man, being both a gracious cafe owner and a huge romantic, had decided that that day was a good day to have a 50% off deal specifically for pairs if they bought two or more items.

Wise hadn’t questioned it at first, since it was normal for shops to occasionally hold discounts like these to attract more customers. Even he was guilty of it, being a business co-owner himself.

But then you had to call him out in the line, excitedly waving him over as you were at the cashier ordering. Tin Man was behind you, a smile in his eyes that Wise wasn’t sure he liked, but he begrudgingly made his way over.

He still remembers the way your eyes sparkled as you explained the discount to him. They reminded him of the stars he’d see at twilight, when he couldn’t sleep and would climb to the roof just to watch New Eridu’s nightlife.

Naturally, he had accepted your offer of buying him a free drink (no one refuses free food), but he quickly learned to regret it when he saw the mischievous gleam in Tin Man’s artificial eyes.

He still gets flustered thinking of it now - the heart-shaped whipped cream and the whisper of “good luck” haunts him, especially when he thinks about how confused you were at the impromptu decoration.

The amount of times he’s caught his neighbors playing matchmaker, he can’t count on both hands - and that’s not including what Belle has tried. It’d be funny if it wasn’t also incredibly humiliating.

“Master, if you were planning on drifting off, perhaps you should’ve stayed home to take a nap.”

Wise sighs. “Be quiet, Fairy. I’m in public.”

“What?” you blink. Wise blinks back before realizing he’d been a little too loud.

“Sorry, I was talking to myself,” he chuckles awkwardly, hands fiddling with each other - it’s a nervous habit of his. You smile understandingly.

“No, it’s okay,” you say, pushing your bowl towards General Chop to signify you were done with it. “You’ve been out of it today, Wise. Something on your mind?”

You, Wise wants to say, but he doesn’t feel like embarrassing himself further. “I guess I’m just tired. Long day today.”

“I can tell,” you laugh, the sound music to his ears. You hop off the stool after sliding your share of the payment to General Chop. “Come on, I’ll walk you home. You look like you’re about to fall asleep.”

Wise’s heart does a little tap dance at your offer, but he manages to keep his cool. He hastily pays General Chop before eagerly joining you in your short walk to Random Play.

“Bro!” Belle greets him enthusiastically as he opens the door. Her eyes light up when she sees you, and she raises her eyebrows suggestively at her brother. Wise shoots her a glare when you aren’t looking. “[Name], too? How was your da- mmghhifjk-”

Wise smiles innocently as he slaps a hand over Belle’s mouth. You can’t help but laugh at the two, and Wise admires the crinkle the corners of your eyes.

“Ignore her,” he says nonchalantly, wrinkling his nose as Belle licks his hand like the little rat she is. “Do you want to come in, or…?”

“No, I shouldn’t.” You wave your hands bashfully. “It’s getting late, so I should be getting back home.”

Wise nods in understanding. Belle pries herself free and he wipes his spit-covered hand on her sleeve, ignoring her sputters and protests (she chose this path. She will reap its consequences).

“Well, I guess this is goodbye.”

You nod, shifting your feet. “I guess it is.”

Wise’s brows furrow at your behavior - what’s on your mind. But thankfully, he doesn’t have to wait long before his inquiry is answered.

You take a step forward, and Wise feels your arms loop around him in a tight hug. Suddenly, his senses are elevated, and it’s almost as if everything is enhanced tenfold. He can feel your heartbeat against his chest, the soft sound of your breath, your hair tickling his face and the heat that radiates off of your body against him.

“I really enjoyed today,” you say, stepping back with a smile that could rival an angel’s. “Thanks for hanging out with me.”

Wise tries to formulate a response, but all that comes out is a squeak like a dying balloon. God, if his face was red before, it must be flaming now. You giggle at his response, before you wave both him and Belle goodbye and leave for your home.

It takes a good five minutes before he can speak again.

“Hey sis?”

Belle sounds as shocked as him. “Yeah?”

“I think I’m going to faint.”

He hears his sister sigh.

“Wise, you’re helpless, you know that?” she shakes her head exasperatingly. “And just when you finally made progress too.”

reblogs w comments are appreciated !!

[p0orbaby]

Official Business

summary: who doesn’t like a bit of shopping?

warnings: nowt

a/n: could never be me. firstly im not rich enough, and secondly im terrible at keeping secrets

word count: 1.3k

-

It starts as a bit of a lark.

You’re bored one evening, halfway through a bottle of vintage Château Margaux that costs more than the average person’s yearly salary. You’re flipping through channels, skipping past the usual array of aristocrats grumbling about the decline of society, when you land on the Arsenal match. Leah’s there, of course, and you watch as she commands the field like a general leading her troops into battle. You’ve always admired that about her—how she seems so in control, so sure of herself, even when everything around her is pure chaos. You’re about three glasses deep when you think, I could buy this whole damn club.

It’s one of those ridiculous ideas that’s supposed to stay in your head, but a few phone calls and a meeting with some old schoolmates who now dabble in sports management, and suddenly, the idea isn’t so ridiculous anymore.

Suddenly, it’s very, very real.

You start sending emails and making secret trips to boardrooms filled with men who look like they’ve never kicked a ball in their lives, discussing terms and shares and God knows what else. The whole thing is absurd, like some kind of billionaire’s midlife crisis.

You manage to keep it all hush-hush because, really, who would ever suspect you? Leah certainly doesn’t. She knows you’re filthy rich, of course, but she’s under the impression you spend most of your time doing rich-people things, like attending charity galas and organising your pearl collection. She has no idea that in between afternoon tea and polo practice, you’re negotiating the purchase of her football club.

Which is exactly why, when you bump into her at Colney after one particularly mundane meeting, you nearly have a heart attack.

You’re not supposed to be here. You don’t belong in places like this—places that smell like sweat and ambition. But you’re here anyway because some idiot on the board thought it would be a good idea for you to meet the coaching staff, and now you’re walking out of the building, trying to look like you belong, when suddenly your very beautiful, very oblivious girlfriend is in front of you.

She looks at you with that familiar pairing of amusement and affection, like she’s not entirely sure what you’re doing, but she finds it endearing nonetheless. “What are you doing here?” she asks, and you can hear the smirk in her voice.

“Oh, you know, just... supporting the team,” you reply, which is technically true, though not in the way she thinks.

“Supporting the team?” Leah repeats, raising an eyebrow. She’s in her training gear, hair pulled back into a ponytail, and you can see the faint sheen of sweat on her forehead. You’re suddenly aware of how out of place you look in your tailored coat and Louboutins.

“Yes, well,” you stammer, trying to think of a plausible excuse. “I thought I’d drop by, see how things are going. Very exciting, all this football business”

“Football business?” She laughs, and it’s the kind of laugh that makes you want to crawl into a hole and die because you know how silly you sound. “Right. Sure. You’ve been keeping up with the league standings, then?”

“Of course,” you lie. You have no idea where they are in the table. You just know that you’re about to own them, which seems more important.

Leah just shakes her head, clearly amused, and you think you’re in the clear. But then she asks, “Who were you meeting with? Looked serious”

Your heart skips a beat. “Oh, just some... business people. Nothing important.” You wave a hand dismissively, but Leah’s eyes narrow.

“Business people? At the training ground?”

“Yes, well, they’re... sponsors,” you say quickly. “Potential sponsors. Big money, you know. Thought I’d try to drum up some support”

Leah tilts her head, scrutinising you like she’s trying to figure out what’s really going on. You can practically feel the sweat dripping down your back, which is just great because this coat is dry clean only.

But then she just shrugs. “You’re full of surprises, you know that?” she says, before leaning in to kiss your cheek. “But I’m glad you’re here”

And with that, she jogs off, leaving you standing there, heart racing and wondering how the hell you’re going to keep this secret from her.

-

The next few days are a blur of increasingly absurd attempts to keep Leah from finding out what you’re up to.

You start volunteering more information about Arsenal than she ever asked for, throwing around terms like “4-3-3 formation” and “high press” as if you actually know what they mean. Leah just smiles and nods, probably thinking you’ve become some kind of obsessive superfan overnight.

You even go so far as to attend a match, sitting in the executive box and pretending you’re just there to enjoy the game when in reality, you’re mentally calculating how much it’ll cost to replace the outdated lighting in the concourse.

It all comes to a head one evening when you’re lounging on the sofa, pretending to read a book but actually trying to figure out how to sneak away for yet another clandestine meeting. Leah’s sitting across from you, scrolling through something on her phone. She’s been giving you these looks lately, suspicious, narrowed eyes like she’s trying to figure you out. It’s unnerving.

Finally, she puts down her phone and looks at you. “Okay, what’s going on?”

You feign innocence. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been acting weird,” she says bluntly. “Like, really weird. You suddenly know everything about Arsenal, you’re at London Colney talking to ‘business people,’ and now you’re going to matches? You hate crowds”

You open your mouth to protest, but nothing comes out. She’s got you there.

Leah crosses her arms, leaning back in her chair with that look she gets when she’s about to win an argument. “So, spill. What’s going on?”

You consider your options. You could keep lying, but at this point, it feels like you’re trapped in a comedy of errors, and the only way out is to just come clean.

Taking a deep breath, you say, “Okay, fine. I’m buying Arsenal”

Leah blinks at you. Then she blinks again. “What?”

“I’m buying Arsenal,” you repeat, as if saying it again will make it any less ridiculous. “The football club”

She just stares at you, mouth slightly open. For a moment, you think she might laugh, but then she just says, “You’re serious”

“Yes”

“You’re buying a football club”

“Yes”

“Arsenal”

“Yes”

She shakes her head slowly, like she’s trying to wrap her mind around it. “Why?”

“Because I can,” you say, which is the truth, but also probably not the best answer you could have given.

Leah finally laughs, but it’s that slightly hysterical laugh people do when they don’t know how else to react. “You’re insane. Do you know that? You’re absolutely insane”

“Probably,” you agree.

She stands up, pacing the room as if moving will help her process this information. “So all this time, all those meetings, that’s what you were doing? Buying a football club?”

“Yes”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” you say, which is technically true, though you didn’t exactly think this far ahead.

Leah stops pacing and looks at you, hands on her hips. “You’re something else, you know that?”

“I’m aware”

There’s a long pause, and you wonder if she’s going to be mad or just collapse from shock. But then she walks over to you, a grin slowly spreading across her face. “Well, I guess I should start calling you ‘boss,’ then”

You laugh, relieved that she’s taking it in stride. “Only if you want to. I was thinking more along the lines of ‘supreme overlord of all things football’”

Leah snorts. “Don’t push it”

You grin, and she leans down to kiss you, still shaking her head in disbelief. “You’re unbelievable,” she murmurs against your lips.

“So I’ve been told,” you reply, pulling her closer.

[alwritey-aphrodite]

here’s my submission for the fall coffee house put together by @goodwithcheese and @jolapeno - im not gonna lie i have no idea where this came from but its the longest thing ive written in literal months so enjoy!

Pairing: Frankie Morales x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: none :) except that i didn’t proofread lmao

You’ve always been a planner, always had goals for your future, dream boards and five year plans and a list of things to accomplish before you turned thirty. None of those ever included feeling so claustrophobic in what was supposed to be your dream job that you packed everything up and moved away and got a job at a coffee shop. Your life is far from terrible, and you’re quite happy with your choices, but you know if you were somehow able to tell past you where you would end up at twenty seven, she would have spit in your face.

The coffee shop you work at is wonderful, especially now that autumn is in full swing, because it’s almost absurdly cozy and warm. You’re able to wear whatever you want, craft playlists, design menu boards, and spend all day talking with regulars and newcomers alike. Even if it wasn’t where you imagined you would end up, you couldn’t be happier. Especially when an incredibly attractive single father starts to frequent during your shifts.

Isabel and Frankie Morales are nothing short of delightful. The pair of them are absurdly polite, which is especially adorable on the kindergartner, and Frankie is a generous tipper. Before, they had come in every Friday when he picked Isabel up from school for a cookie to split, but now that the weather has turned, they come in most days around two for hot chocolates. Most of the time they retreat to a booth, but on busy days, Frankie helps his daughter onto one of the high top stools along the counter before sitting down next to her, giving you the perfect opportunity to watch and listen to their conversations, still a little scared to actually speak to him beyond the small talk when you take their order.

Today, it’s raining, pouring really, and the shop is mostly empty, the students who normally hunker down for study marathons nowhere to be seen and even most of your regulars hadn’t bothered to show up, choosing to stay dry at home rather than brave the elements for their coffee fix. Your boredom grows with each hour that passes, but then the bell above the door rings to life, and Frankie and Isabel hurry inside, an umbrella trailing behind.

“It’s raining really hard,” Isabel says, trudging up to the counter and leaving her father behind to deal with shaking out the umbrella to keep it from dripping. Normally, she’s glued to her father’s side, but maybe she feels safer with the emptiness of the shop.

“Yeah it is,” you agree with the girl, trying not to laugh as she attempts to stretch herself tall enough to see you over the counter, and you compensate by leaning forward on your elbows, “I didn’t think you guys were going to show up.”

“We were already wet, what’s the worst that could happen,” Frankie says as he approaches the counter himself, umbrella sufficiently dry.

“And I really needed a treat,” Isabel adds, sounding so much like an adult trapped in a toddler’s body you can’t help the giggle that escapes you.

“Oh, yeah? What happened?”

“Don’t get her started,” Frankie mutters, and you laugh again, calming your giggles as Isabel clears her throat.

She launches into a story about recess and reading spots and lunch tables, and it’s hard to keep it all straight, but you nod along all the same, sympathizing with the exhaustion of being a little girl.

“That sounds rough,” you say when she finally finishes her story, and she nods sagely, causing you to fight against your giggles again, “how about I make you an extra special hot chocolate, hm? Would that help?”

“Yes please!” Isabel’s eyes light up, her little frown replaced with a gap-toothed grin.

“Same for you?” You ask Frankie, even though you know he’ll refuse.

“Just a black coffee for me, please.”

You ring them up for a small black coffee and a small regular hot chocolate, even though you give them both larges and you add flavoring and toppings to Isabel’s drink. Instead of slipping into one of the many open booths, they take a spot at the counter, and your heart expands to an impossibly large size. Handing over their drinks, you place a plate of cookies in front of them too. They’re all Halloween and fall themed, and you’d spent the better part of the afternoon decorating them with more care than necessary, simply because you had the time. Frankie starts to shake his head, but you’re one step ahead of him.

“Please, just take them. They’ll all go to waste otherwise, no one else is gonna come in.”

“You should take them, then,” he counters, not giving in.

“C’mon, I’ve eaten about ten of these bad boys today already, and I’ve got a box full of pastries set aside for when I leave. Take the damn cookies,” you’d normally never use that language with a customer, but it’s dead besides the two of them and you’re grinning so you don’t think he’ll take offense.

A smile blooms on his face even as he shakes his head at you, and he takes two cookies from the plate, one for himself and one for Isabel, who looks like the happiest girl in the world now that she has cookies to add to her ginormous hot chocolate.

It’s dark by the time they get ready to leave, and you feel a little awful, like you’ve kept them trapped with you when they could have a million things they needed to do all because you were a little bored.

“Thanks for keeping me company,” you say, a little sheepish as Frankie helps Isabel back into her raincoat, which is difficult because she refuses to part with the cookies you’d boxed up for them to take home.

“We should be thanking you, for the cookies and the company,” he counters, pausing in his struggle to smile at you. You smile back, but then Isabel is tugging on his sleeve and pulling him down to her level. She whispers at him, and they’re a little too far for you to hear, so you just busy yourself with wiping down the already spotless counter until Isabel clears her throat rather dramatically and you turn your attention back to the pair with a gentle smile.

“You know, these are a lot of cookies for only two people,” Frankie starts, and you’re getting ready to argue with him, thinking he’s trying to get out of taking them again when he continues, “maybe we should split them three ways? And we can make you hot chocolate for a change?”

It takes you a second to figure out what he means, but when he does, there’s no stopping the smile that overtakes you, and you’re so beyond happy you can’t even speak for a minute.

“I’ll be done here around six,” you reply once you can form words again, and Frankie’s smile is so gorgeous it threatens to eliminate that ability all over again, “if you’re not already sick of me.”

“I could never get sick of you,” he responds, and if you weren’t already a complete goner, you definitely are now.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey sex witch! are sex toys from big stores like target and cvs generally safe to use or is it better to stick to specialized stores/online shops? ive seen them on the shelves a few times and im curious

hi anon,

this one is kind of a complicated question! many retailers, including dedicated sex toy sellers, will carry a mix of toys that are body safe and toys that aren't, because that's a market that is 100% unregulated in the US and anyone can pretty much get away with selling anything as a sex toy. as bogus as it is, we can't just buy any toy off the shelves and trust that it's safe for our bodies! that's one reason why, much as I try to only personally recommend responsible sex toy sellers who aren't selling anything sus, I don't want to completely shut down anyone shopping somewhere like Adam & Eve - it's the most affordable and accessible option for many folks, and as long as you know which toys to avoid, it's not a terrible option.

on that note, a good place to start is by knowing which materials are nonporous, and therefore body safe: silicone, treated wood, glass, metal, and hard plastic. anything outside that charmed little club, we're not putting in our bodies! with that in mind, you're better equipped to analyze the toys being sold anywhere - dedicated sex stores, target, etsy, wherever - and decide if they're a safe fit for you.

[megumimania]

AOT LONDON BOY HCS PT 2

featuring: reiner, onyankopon, armin

a/n: this is part two of these hcs, part one is here! thanks for tuning in its kinda rushed my bad 😪, likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

ARMIN

-armin would be from islington or finchley maybe even south, but I don’t see him living in like bougie areas such as kensington or chelsea or like richmond

- him and eren went to the same primary and secondary together

-armin was literally his get out of jail free card because of his stellar reputation in academics

-he always gets free stuff from the corner shop or the chicken and chip shop

-doesn’t own a car, he either bikes or takes the tube because he cares about the environment and doesn’t want to add onto the extra pollution in london

-his dress sense is very casual like a t shirt, a pair of loose fitted trousers and some trainers but when he cant be bothered he’ll wear a tech fleece

-he has a very good sense of direction, like he knows the fastest routes for anything, like when eren and connie dragged him to carni (if you went this year im saur jealous 😩 but anyways) and it was time to get home armin found a quicker route that got them back pretty fast

-knows all the best secret spots in london for anything! which makes hanging out with him more fun because you experience a new part of london when you’re together

-he isnt a fan of eren’s scamming ways but when eren asks for help he always answers as long as he’s not a part of it

-london men i feel like are terrible with their feelings but armin is the exception, he would be very open with you about his feelings and such

-reads so much, you’ll catch him at hyde park or greenwich park reading till the sun sets

-he smokes cigarettes but he’s trying to cut it out for you

-his playlist would be very diverse since he’s been brought up in a multicultural area, like it would go from bashment, to rnb, drill to pop

-unlike his unserious counterparts *cough cough* eren and connie, he’s very loyal!

ONYANKOPON

-my ghanaian king, shoutout to my ghanaians!!

-he speaks twi so well that people forget he was brought up in the uk

-he would be from peckham or lewisham for suree, he’s deffo been dragged around by his mum round rye lane market on a saturday morning carrying that trolley with him

-he goes to a pentecostal church, he’s always leading youth service and helping out at church events.

-the aunties love him for this because he’s the perfect son that they don’t have and they just love him in general

-ony can cook and im being for real, so you guys never eat out unless ony wants to show you to a new niche restaurant somewhere

-he has snap but doesn’t have a bitmoji because he thinks it’s immature 😕 but eventually he caves and makes one because you ask him too

-hes always promoting his boys stuff whether that be music,

-he deffo went to an all boys secondary and then he went to a mixed sixth form after, he gives me those vibes

-he used to go to the library to link girls after school 😭 he had a big playboy phase but hes calmed down

-he used to be one of those people at stratford westfield trying to sell you magazines before you enter

-hes not stingy with his money, hes always spoiling the people he loves

-he has a bunch of caps and grills that he likes to rotate out weekly, he has great style

-he works in corporate london so its rare that you dont see him outside of a suit and tie but he always makes time for you

-ony is always holding your bag for dear life when you go to bait areas like oxford street or westfields or like the tourist spots because people be getting their shit stolen loool

-he loves late night tesco trips anything that he can do at night i.e late night walks, drives etc

-bossman is always giving him discounts on stuff because ony is loyal customer.

REINER

-look at that man and tell me he wouldnt be from essex tell me!! like thats pure dagenham material right there

-if you search up a typical person from essex, he would come up

-he probably owns those skintight chinos with those ugly polos with the church shoes

-he tries to downplay his accent a bit since sometimes its hard to understand him but when hes upset his accent comes through in full force

-always at spoons or at the club till early hours

-reiner gives me bricklayer vibes so thats what im gonna roll with

-when he comes home from work in summer hes like hot and sweaty but it makes his biceps glow so its kinda sexy idk

-has a bunch of tattoos, most of them are birthdays of family members and a picture of his grandma who passed away

-has a british bulldog called belle, the dog is fucking scary but reiner thinks the world of her and thinks she can do no wrong

-listens to mainly dnb, garage, techno

-downs pints at the pub like it’s nothing, he has a high alcohol tolerance

-proper geezer that’s all i have to say tbh!

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Niffty Redesign! (3/7)

Holy shit was not expecting to finish in the same day much less in like… under 4 hours??? IDK IM HAPPY WITH HER THOUGH!!!!

My biggest inspiration this time was lovebugs and specifically this LPS lovebug

Yes im colour picking Niffty from a littlest pet shop. Who is gonna stop me? Hasbro? They don’t even own LPS anymore!

Im making Niffty a bit tanner because while I see it a lot in other fandoms, I don’t ever see tan asian people in the Hazbin fandom, tbh this place seems like its allergic to melanin in general. There’s also a lot of stigmatisation around POC women in Hazbin like I’ve mentioned before. I plan on having Niffty deal with a decent chunk of stuff later on, a lot of it relating to obessions and romance and learning how to manage feelings like that and keep relationships with other people.

I wanted her socks to be cute but also held up by a garter belt so you can gather she’s got something going on. People seem to stray away from the topic of Niffty and sex or romance because they see her as a child or have infantalised her in some way. Yes ik I talk about this all the time but like GOD it pisses me off.

Her maid dress is actually a much darker shade of hot pink to the point its not really hot pink anymore but it is I promise

Niffty’s main sins are lust, wrath, and envy, seeing as she is a lovebug and also her current backstory is killing a lover out of jealousy. The redder pink parts are supposed to be a mix of lust and wrath so I hope that comes across well?

The same thing can be said about her clothes and all that. With her dress and the reddish hearts it’s supposed to be like “in one sin there’s another” but idk how well I pulled it off. The stitched up heart is also supposed to represent her hopeful/eventually redemption. I’d like to give Niffty more character than just “crazy small lady” so I’ll be trying to balance being somewhat like that with also being a bit sensible. I think it definitely could be done but I have doubts Viv will do much with it.

It really sucks that the POC characters and especially women they just get reduced to one or two traits and then thats it. Viv already is terrible at writing women and I think writing Niffty for her is just boring because, again, she cannot write women. 90% of this rewrite is me saving the women/hj

There will be more indepth Niffty content from me eventually, as of now this is my backbone for her design and overall story. Btw I think her rubber gloves are cute but make really annoying squeaking sounds 24/7. No idea if I’ll pull off another fast design like this, but we shall see!🐐

[memoiich]

I demand your Maul headcanons <3

Im going to split this up in 2 parts

Part 1 : star wars

Maul is extremely talented at drawing. He leans more into it after Savage and him are travelling together.

His memory is top notch , hes the kinda dude that remembers what he ate 5 months ago at 4 in the morning ( if he has a lover i can see him using this to get them like niche ,one time mentioned gifts)

His sleep schedule is none existent. He tried a few times to fix it but since palpetine needs him 24/7 , he hasn’t yet . After Savage gets him back , he tries to help Maul and it goes pretty well . (Like 6 hours per night on average)

The biggest problem is nightmares. He has ALOT of nightmares. Some are from his childhood, he thinks he’s stuck in the gray room on Mustafar or he sees the fish in palpetine tanks dying. It gives him alot of stress and anxiety. Some nightmares are about Obi Wan, he isn’t scared of him but more of the fact that he didn’t win . He gave his entire childhood and didn’t win against someone that was raised by loving people that cared for his wellbeing.

He dreamed as a kid alot about Dathomir.

He is a mercifull killer , he normally doesn’t play with his prey . He tries to kill them as quick as possible ( look at the fish even qui gon ) this mentality gets ingrained into his mind after he got cocky with Obi Wan .

Maul is smaller then most zebrak males because he was malnourished as a child . Savage has asked about this before but Maul reflects by stating its for his fightstyle.

Maul horns are terribly kept. He never met another zebrak before he was like 24(?) so he literally never knew he had to take care of them . Savage is horrified by the state of his horns when he finds him . Later he helps him out with that and now they are alright.

ALSO his tattoos are fading and need a going over.

He feels extreemly guilty towards both his brothers for leaving them behind. He never knew Feral and he hates himself for that . He sometimes wants to know more about him but hes convinced Savage will be hurt so he hasnt .

He is extremely confused towards his mother Telzin . He feels a certain sense of gratitude towards her for bringing him back but he hates for what she did towards his brothers and for giving him away . ( I actually love the legends version where he has a human mother (Kycina ?) even more but clone wars made it work better so….)

Part 2 : modern au

To me it makes sense if him and his brothers had a tattoo parlor or like a piercing shop.

Or like a business salesman

He drives a red and black kawasaki ninja 400 .

Maul still has a lot of scars mainly on his abdomen . He got into a lot of streetfights as a kid/ teenager.

He loves to give gift . He generally doesn’t think that people will stick around for just him so he sees it as paying them for their service.

He has a pet reptile a Bibron’s Coral Snake . Because he finds them cool .( he ended up in the hospital one time because of her)

He hates obi wan because they have a work rivalry.( will rend to his lover about this )

Im going to keep it here for now . I have some more but this is long enough

{masterlist}

[coochie-sniffer3000]

generic silent protagonist in a top down or over the shoulder free roaming game of your choosing, but they have intrusive thoughts. game has npc and environment interaction but sometimes instead of “close window” when you want to interact it’s “jump through”

no lead up it’s just apparent this is part of you immediately. hanging out with a girl you want to up your friendship with and she says “hey stay here and watch my bag please?” but noo mr protag can’t do that he has to wait for 2 minutes and struggle not to press y to riffle through her bag and take 20 dollars

everything is optional. and it’s everywhere. shopping for supplies and a “steal” button appears right next to the “buy” button. and it’s just for “pack of bubble gum”. you switch to the one below it (no steal) and back up and it still says “steal” beside it. mc just wants Pack of Bubble Gum so fucking bad. and then later you’re out at town because one of your teammates wanted to bond with you and you think yeah, i’ve been lacking stats when it comes to him. but then you’re there at the wendy’s you said you’d meet up in and the attack button showed up at some point in the overworld and you can just. punch people. and you just have to stand there talking about exams with this guy resisting the urge to punch him in the face even with the little icon over their head 24/7

and it’s not just the environment, it shows up in interactions too. when you chat, you have options to respond with. there are multiple to choose from but at a chance something that could get you in a lot of trouble could show up mixed in with the rest of the responses. sometimes ALL the responses are so genuinely terrible you have to wait out a timed response window and get an “uhhhh ok 😅” response to not ruin one of your hard earned relationships.

for the most part the base options for everything are consistent and typical, but the impulse options add a lot of polarization to the mix. it all seems linear enough but actually you can skip entire party members by destroying your relationships with them early on. you can end up with way better stats or items by doing something mc typically wouldn’t have done. oh uh. the way im phrasing this kind of sounds like mc is his own guy and YOURE his intrusive thoughts. hmm *taps mic* is this thing even on

[withlove-xixi]

rank hottness levels of majima in each game/phase Now!! (pls....)

/ suggestive (its nothing bad)

ok im ngl im not entirely familiar w all the games but im ranking the ones i have seen but they're basically more or less only my favorites

anyway i'm starting w one of my all-time favorites ... my beloved goromi!!

seeing him like this makes me feel things i didnt know i can feel. is it the lesbianism in my brain is making some sort of connection? is it because his little date w kiryu was silly a hell? is it a secret third thing? i will never know. but i suspect it's because i see him like this and my brain tells me that is a woman and my lesbian instincts kick in because what purpose was i put on this earth for if not to share my unconditional and infinite love to every woman that has ever existed

anyway all i know is goromi is my darling girlfriend .. she reminds me of candy-chan (and in turn, ive found similarities between sanji and majima im certain are mostly delusions) and i want to go shopping with her and spoil her with sweets, as i want to do with every woman ever

next is 24-hour prince majima .. but specifically from like a pirate (or whatever its called)

something about him tickles me in the head (it's the hair) like hey boy, hey guy ... do you need a housewife ... ? LIKE THE JUXTAPOSITION OF HOW HE LOOKS NOW IN THE MV (?) COMPARED TO IN Y0 IS SO FUCKING INSANE TO ME. DEAR GOD.

the distant sadness in his eyes and general melancholic maturity about him makes him hot tbh. like wow i want to kiss you on every inch of your skin, i want to soothe your worries with homemade meals and warm baths and kisses between stolen cracks of moonlight, i want to greet you good morning and good night and shower you with spontaneous grand gestures on a random tuesday, i want show you everything that is good in this world and help you understand that it exists within you too.

i like this majima a lot.

h- ... hannya man ... good god ok ... i ... i need time to breathe

i know exactly what appeals to me; it's the fancy tux/suit and the mysterious aura from the mask. wow ... idk its such a drastic shift from his usual silliness ... like wow ... hey. hi. hey. are you free this weekend? do you need anything from me?

idk im just saying, he looks like he'd tell you when to cum then make you clean up the mess or like he'd tie you up and play with you for a bit. and rlly idc, whatever you say handsome~ hehehehehehe~

putting him in because i see him often (because im playing y0) but lord of the night majima and i . hes okay ..

i mean that genuinely too like. he's fine. i get the appeal. i think its the slicked back hair into a tight ponytail that throws me off a bit orz but i .. i like his vibe, or aura as the kids say .. he feels like such a loverboy, like he'd surprise me with random visits and bouquets of flowers, or he'd kiss you very tenderly and slowly, almost gently.

in terms of "i want him." he gets a pass only because he is majima and im in love with him unfortunately (tho i shall see if my thoughts on him change because im on chapter two of y0 and he hasnt even shown up yet)

then of course we have this iconic fit (i picked this photo because he looks so puppy dog here .. wow)

giggling, twirling my hair. hi. hey <3 from an objective perspective, this outfit is kind of ass like ? snake-skin jacket, leather pants and ??? no shirt?? but GOD. unfortunately, its a terrible outfit on an insanely hot forty something year old. i want you. i want you so bad.

and i dont actually know if his hair changes w this outfit, like if its short + undercut then grows a bit longer or not but ive seen pics of him in this fit w longer hair and he looks better like that tbh. also i cant shake off how uncomfortable this outfit looks like that must be so hot to wear .. but again idc im kissing you in the mouth. let's go play at the claw machines in the sega arcades and sing karaoke together and hold hands and kiss and fall asleep next to each other and kiss and get dinner together and take walks in parks and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and—

and finally my number majima one is .. !

this specific scene of majima from like a pirate where he does the thing with his finger like AUGHSDGHADNNN!!

the disheveled hair, the smirk, THE WAY HE BECKONS YOU WITH HIS FINGER. good god!! majima was alr my favorite by default because he was a weird ass freak i found funny but THIS? hello sir, daddy even, where is your shirt and do you mind taking off your pants too? qw?e@?w$e?asf?a?!!!@?e!#?!@ HEAHEHHDSHFAEr!~@?#!@!!@!mDFNDFSMA,,,,SDFM

I Need You.

(thank you anon for listening to my tedtalk and for telling me go a bit insane about my silly old man that i want so badly)

[josecariohca]

pls ignore my personal ramblings im just happy and having feelings about it and need to gush real fast uwu

like not to be so fucking sappy but im going to be so fucking sappy. but in a good way. because im HAPPY.

so im officially a few days into my london trip and im actually really, really proud of myself. i generally have TERRIBLE social anxiety, like the kind that makes it impossible to go out, talk to people, do anything, be anywhere. its debilitating and awful and ive had it like my entire life

but yesterday i managed to go grocery shopping by myself in a city i dont know. and TODAY!!!! i went to several museums, a cathedral, and i stumbled upon a boat giving tours and i fuckin LOVE boats, and i just!!! did it!!!! i spent all day just walking around and navigating the subway metro underground whatever its called here, and i did it all by myself, which i usually NEVER do. but i did! i ate lunch by myself, i windowshopped, i took dumb touristy pictures, i explored, i enjoyed myself, i had a fucking blast, and im excited to do it all again tomorrow

and i know these arent mindblowing things, but they are TO MEEEEE and im really proud of myself and im having so much fun and idk it just feels really nice to see myself becoming more confident in real time

(even if my wifi is shit and i havent been able to reply to anyone who has messaged me. but fear not, if you are one of those people i have not forgotten you and i will in fact reply soon once my internet is less bad <3)

[loemius]

im too like fuzzy from cough syrup to answer YOUR question-- Hephaestus is associated with copper specifically from my understanding, but I know a lot of modern helpol folks associate him with stuff like computers, the internet, metal in general. Hephaestus needs some love, whats some other things you associate him with, either upg or historically (I kinda like thinking of him as the god of disability aids like wheelchairs and prosthetics)

OH BOY I LOVE THIS QUESTION!!!!! i love hephaestus and i am so glad to spread some love for him. thank you for this fantastic question <333 historically speaking: -cranes! paper cranes are really fun and easy to make and would be an awesome votive for him. -donkeys! i think about this one a lot and his myth with dionysus where he'd been cast out of olympos and dionysus was the one who came after him and was able to convince him to return, and he rode back on a donkey: "One of the Greek legends is that Hephaistos, when he was born, was thrown down by Hera. In revenge he sent as a gift a golden chair with invisible fetters. When Hera sat down she was held fast, and Hephaistos refused to listen to any other of the gods save Dionysos--in him he reposed the fullest trust--and after making him drunk Dionysos brought him to heaven." [theoi.com, Pausanias 1.20.3] i mean just look at him on his steed. i love it. [also sourced from theoi.com]

-this is a weird one but chains. he's got a lot to do with chains, from the aforementioned binding of hera to the net of chains to capture ares and aphrodite in their affair to the binding of prometheus. i havent quite developed my thoughts on this yet, but i think it's very interesting. -hammers. he's often seen depicted with his hammer, and of course he helped zeus give birth to athena by using his hammer to split his head open. having experience in metalworking really made me appreciate this more, because there are SO many different kinds of hammers and using the wrong one can completely change the outcome of your work. also, its hard work! makes me think more about just how strong lord hephaestus is to make such grand works. -i think about him a lot with jewelry making, since he's got quite a few historically attested pieces of jewelry that he's made. upg: -i also associate him with mobility aids of all kinds. i also think about him and apollo working together to make medical technology, which means a lot to me as someone who's had health struggles. -i also associate him with computers too. i pray to him when my technology doesnt work LMAO -tobacco. i liked to smoke a cigarette with him before id go into the metal shop (dont smoke please its terrible for you) -the smell of metal. weird one but id go into the metal shop and take a sniff and be like :') ahhhhh hephaestus. i worked a lot in copper and bronze bc theyre soft and cheap metals, and the smell of copper on your hands after spending hours on the jewelers saw... like nothing else in this world. -soldering. when i learned to solder i would pray to him to help me do it well and get a good solder. it is harder than you think, especially when working in silver which can and WILL melt if you're not careful enough. it really made me appreciate how diligent and patient he must be. on a similar note, annealing metal also made me think of him. annealing is the process of heating and quenching metal to strength it once it gets too soft and you are quite literally just blasting it with a torch until it’s red hot. takes so much patience and carefulness. -open flame cooking. he's associated with fires after all and just. tossing something on the grill or over a campfire always makes me think of him. i also think of zeus when i grill things but i dont have a reason for that other than grilling is dad behavior and he is the ultimate dad. -LEGOS. any time i play with legos i am thinking about him. its the building aspect and the creativity. -really i think about him, athena, and apollo a lot when i'm creating, especially 3d works for hephaestus. i'm pursuing a bfa so i make a lot of things, and i think a lot about his skill and dedication to the craft when i make them.

thank you so so much for this ask!!! i loved answering this and would love to hear others thoughts on this <3 gods bless you with health and happiness!!!

[devouredbyflame]

I know praying isn’t always about a “request” but out of curiosity, when they do, what do people pray to Loki for? When people do the request kind of praying. When people pray for fertility or things to go well money wise or for health it seems like it’s cause that God is known to have power over that thing in some capacity, like Iðnn for health or Freya for love or fertility, but I don’t actually know what Loki is supposed to be able to affect. I’m fine to just talk to him sometime, I mainly want to contact him out of curiosity, maybe ask some advice at some point if he’s willing to give it. Im just kinda wondering. I know Gods don’t just have power over One Thing a piece, they’re not that limited or one-dimensional, but as far as general associations go, I’ve tried to research but people just say God of chaos or transformation. People mention “working with” him in witch stuff, so I assume there’s like, a specific area of that he’s more helpful with? But I could be wrong. Just wondering, and haven’t been able to find anything yet.

You’re going to find varying ideas with different results each. It really depends on what you look at “praying” as. For any Deity, you can pray to give thanks or gratitude, pray for guidance and support and things to work in your favor. Offerings are also of value that backs the request of your prayer. I wouldn’t look at offerings as a bartering system because that can go sideways with Loki, but rather just a way to emphasize your gratitude and replenish the God in question for Their deed.

Now, I only work with Loki so I pretty much go to Loki for everything but He goes to other Gods and makes requests on my behalf like a representative. If it isn’t within His specific domain, He will find Whomever it is and convince Them for support.

That being said, you can go to Loki about anything you desire. His specialties seem to be in getting people their just desserts, luck, bargain shopping, protection, and manipulating seemingly impossible events to go in yours and His favor. Do be warned that Loki also tends to make sure whatever He does for you, He has a reason to share in it. He usually only functions if it goes in His favor, and not just in yours. So sometimes that may mean your request can go sideways whether you want it to or not. He tends to take things into His own hands and make them complicated so it typically doesn’t go the way you might think it should.

The only time He gets iffy is if it’s about death and dying in which case He isn’t terribly interested in responding to that and will refer you to His daughter Hel sooner than making good on any request. Outside of that, He is known to have many fingers in many pies and will vouch for anything should He believe it worthy of pursuing.

Be as specific as possible and do not mince words with Loki. He is the best lawyer you’re ever going to meet and will manipulate wording to reflect something that is completely different from what you expect.

However, He is impeccably impressive when it comes to giving people gifts. He is well-known for making good on His promises and paying back tenfold whatever you put in. He goes above and beyond and is lovely when it comes to thoughtful gifting.

Praying isn’t as formal as some people seem to want it to be. Loki is incredibly informal and would prefer conversations to be casual and authentic rather than a formalized planned ritualized saying. I wouldn’t be like “hey, fucker, listen here” if you’re just starting to know Him, but be respectful in the very least because He is still a Deity. Don’t dish what you can’t take with Loki. Disrespect tends to be be grounds for more disrespect regardless of your relationship or how well you think you know Him.

That was probably more information than you’d ever ask for. But there it is.

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

its that time of year again. time for one of these things, and an update for my blog in general:

admittedly this year has been quite difficult. as i mentioned previously, im technically on hiatus. not just my blog, but ive been taking a break from much of social media in general. limiting my social media usage is something ive been doing for years, with being on it a little less and less every year, and the past few months, some might have noticed i've hardly been online at all. the loss of connections is something id always been afraid of when doing this, but even with being very selective with my followings and friends, being online is just terrible for me unless im at peak mental health... resulting in a lot less art from me this year. ive been focusing on and getting into a lot more irl hobbies since

regardless, its good to look at what ive been able to accomplish. ive always considered colors to my the main drawing point of my art, so i was sort of beating myself up prior to compiling this because i knew i had done very little colored art this year. but turns out id just been subconsciously shifting my focus on improving other things. this year marked a lot of new things; much greater focus on linework, drawing in scene, storytelling, and texture. all of those are things id been meaning to improve on for years, so im actually very glad to see the improvement and shift in artstyle!

hopefully ill get back to being more active here as the weather gets warmer. ive been wanting to make new merch now that im retiring so much stuff in my shop, so stay tuned for that when i return >:]

[lilcowzia]

Do you have any tips on what kind of food to stuff yourself with on a budget? I want to get bigger, but I have a hard time balancing price/ volume

yeah uh, don't do what i do lmao food delivery like doordash is so expensive its nuts. the easiest way to do this at restaurants is just to calculate calories to price outright, i only sort of estimate this quickly at fast food places when im deciding on items. adding milkshakes is a good boost. for grocery shopping you're basically gonna want rice, pasta, and potatoes for your meal bases, pasta is the best for stuffing imo. the price of basically everything is really high rn, but imo junk food has kind of been hit the worst. my reccomendation would be bulk stores like costco for those kinds of things. oh, and peanut butter! PB is suchhhh a good calorie food and PB&J sandwiches are mega underrated. my recommendation generally tho is to eat what you enjoy, and add calorie bombs like heavy cream and butter into your cooking. you are definitely gonna get most bang for your buck with pasta based homemade meals imo. there are sooo many recipies out there. also if the goal is gaining weight you are also gonna wanna get your snack on, in addition to stuffings (im kind of terrible at this lmao but yanno)

my whole thing is like, if the food tastes good you're gonna eat more of it, so always keep in mind your favs and preferences, keep hedonism in ur heart uwu