#im sure this has been done before but i wanted to anyways
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You mentioned how ace's dream was like a vague fanfiction addressing some fun fandom theories and ideas but I think whats the best part about it was how the progression up to that point made sense. Theyve dropped so many moments showing ace caring dearly for yuu to the point where this dream as fanservicey like that it was it feels natural for ace to have such a dream if that makes sense WAAGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
What did you think of the dream though ms raven? The dream made me wail so badly ough hes finally cried too m sure hes been through a lot 🥹 seeing cater talk to ace so sincerly it hits me so hard in the feels im so glad hes finally got to cry (a little anyways)
Ace’s dream felt like fanfiction, but at least it felt natural or like everything up to this point was leading up to this being his wish. I unfortunately cannot say that for several other dreams. Certainly ones definitely felt egregious or contrived. Some were largely fanservice (Savanaclaw Rook, dorm leader Cater, delinquent Deuce) or just excuses to make new cards (merform twins), even if it didn’t make complete sense for the character to wish for it.
dgjswvizjsowk I know you’re probably expecting me to comment on Ace in his own darn dream, but I actually have a lot more to say about Cater. Ace’s motivations + butting heads with the rescue squad were what I expected them to be (though I give him props for being the only character so far to resist waking up right away). More on my precursory thoughts in this post (but based the exact wording of your ask. I’d be tired to guess you’ve already read it 😅)! But CATER????? TELL ME WHY HE WAS THE GOAT THIS UPDATE 😭
Cater does SO much???? First he suggests the third years help Trey cook BBQ so the darkness is distracted while the others can isolate Ace and try to wake him. When that attempt fails, Cater pretends to agree with Leona’s proposal to leave Ace behind to bait Deuce to come after him to play as his support. Cater sitting down to have a heart-to-heart convo with Ace??? And then mercilessly using his UM to gang up on Ace and beat him up??? 😭 Him reminding Ace about his courage facing off against OB Riddle… Cater confessing he wanted to run, but being encouraged to join the fight because aaaaah his kouhai looked so cool and dashing!! Thanking Ace??? Finally verbalizing some of his feelings???!?!?!?!???! CATER PULLING ACE OUT OF THE DARK????? MY GOD… OTL ThE biG BRoTHER EnERGGY WaS SO DTRONgGGGGGggGGGGG
And he kept this up even into Trey’s dream???????? Where Cater once again does a TON. He volunteers to investigate since makes the most sense (he is a Heartslabyul student so it’s not shady to be in the dorm and his UM is useful for combat). Cater also the third years with him into the kitchen to have a look around. Him saying he’s impressed with Silver’s will and how he would’ve given up so much sooner if he were him???? Dropping interesting lore about Trey??? Cater admitting that he has always been a spectator and now realizes he should have done more than just watch events unfold???
CATER CONSISTeNTLY puTTING hIMSELF AnD THE THirD YEARS IN hARm’s WAy FiRST… StRAtEGIzING… mAnIPULATING… AND ACTUAL SELF-REFLECTION AnD SINCERiTY????
Cater got to shine SO much this update, especially in Ace’s dream. He really came off like a big brother figure to Ace. A little mean, but also able to be so very vulnerable with him. Him not wanting to give up on Ace even though he later says if he were Silver, he’d have given up on everyone a while ago… MAN. CaTER cARES SO muCHHHHHhhh 😭 This might actually bump him up a little in my tier list… I didn’t like him much before 💦
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#Ace Trappola#question#notes from the writing raven#book 7 chapter 12 part 2 spoilers#Cater Diamond#Rook Hunt#Deuce Spade#book 7 spoilers#Tweels#Jade Leech#Floyd Leech#Leona Kingscholar#Riddle Rosehearts#Heartslabyul
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𐙚⋆.˚ ──── almost forgot something! °。⋆⸜
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ – non idol!danielle x fem!reader !!
synopsis: you and danielle have been friends for years now, and everyone around you swears there’s romantic tension between the two of you. the love in the air is very real and you two fools just need to kiss already
contains:fluff, both danielle and y/n r oblivious, twotolz being really invested in them, like more than catnipz, hanni has rizz (according to reader), i wrote this half dead, not proofread, kiss???, highschool setting
a/n: sighs this was lazily done and i literally couldve done better but im stcuk so this will suffice like i shouldve scrapped but im positng this anyways! also remember when i said i would write in present tense? I LIED.. past tense it is ig!
♪ ༘⋆ now playing – kiss her you fool by kids that fly
for as long as anyone could remember, you and danielle were attached at the hip, the bestest of friends. wherever you went, she followed and vice versa. danielle was your best friend, as you were hers. there was nothing more to your friendship, until there was.
a few months ago, you had the sudden realisation that you always wanted to be by danielle’s side. that wasn’t brand news to you, but the feelings behind it was the sudden realisation. you found yourself fawning over your friend, noticing how your heart would race around her. however, this sudden realisation wasn’t very sudden to your friends.
“so, you like dani?” minji tried confirming with you for the nth time, the others chuckling in the back.
“honestly, i’m surprised it took you this long to figure that out,” hanni sneered.
it seemed your group of friends had clearly anticipated the moment you confessed your crush on danielle to them. and, it seemed they had a mission to utterly humiliate you as they fed you delusions.
“she literally likes you back. just ask her out already before we all rip out our eyeballs,” hyein insisted and you swore you even saw her eye twitch. “watching this slow burn literally burns,” haerin continued.
you were never convinced. danielle was just nice like that! so what if she held your hand to class, she was just a touchy gal!
“SHE CLEARLY LIKES YOU BACK! KISS HER ALREADY YOU IMBECILE,” hyein would scream into your face, shaking you by the shoulders.
and every time they would spit this nonsense in your face, you would end up rolling your eyes with a small “whatever.”
as the bell went at the end of school, you found yourself walking out of class with danielle by your side. the both of you had just been paired up for a project and danielle was already pouring ideas out onto you.
“so, where do you want to do the project?” danielle asked. “definitely at your place. you always have the best stashes of snacks,” you grinned. danielle rolled her eyes. “only coming over for the snacks? that’s real rude of you y/n,” she chuckled teasingly.
you continued to joke with danielle before saying goodbye at the school entrance.
“i’ll come over in about an hour. i gotta wash up ‘cause i am tired as hell,” you exhaled.
danielle looked into your eyes and all you could do was get lost in them. the way her eyes lit up like fireworks made something squirm in your stomach, and you weren’t sure if this was a good feeling. looking into her eyes made you feel so safe and so… loved. sometimes, it hurt knowing she only saw you as a friend.
you took a step back, knowing if you kept staring into her eyes you might get lost for real. danielle waved goodbye as you walked away. she smiled brightly as you waved back.
“i’ll save you your favourites!”
both you and dani were spread out across her bed. you were getting extra comfortable, lying on the mattress with your favourite chips on the side. you made sure to not get crumbs on the bed as you watched dani furrowed her brows with whatever she had in front of her.
“you know, if we fail, i’m so blaming you,” you casually joked, watching dani raise her head and flinch back in betrayal.
“excuse me! i’m the one doing all the work right now. you’re just here for the snacks.” danielle pouted.
you grinned back at her as you sat up. “hey, i am not here just for the snacks. plus, you’d be lost without me.”
“sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.” danielle mumbled back. “it does help me sleep at night, thank you very much!”
you both started giggling. it always felt nice to spend time with danielle. listening to her giggle was like feeling the warmth of the sun on a clear day.
the two of you continued to chuckle between yourselves before danielle furrowed her brows once more.
“hey, y/n? could you help me with this question? i’m sort of stuck,” she asked you.
you looked at the question she was pointing at before getting up from the bed.
“i’ll just go wash my fingers first. don’t want to hand back the question sheet with chip dust all over it,” you said swiftly. you heard danielle chuckle to herself as you went to the bathroom.
you’ve been over to danielle’s house so many times, it feels like a second home. everything about danielle is so comforting and it makes you feel warm inside. you hoped that maybe you could always be by her side, to comfort her as she comforts you.
“so, y/n, how was sleeping over at dani’s place?” hyein inquired, raising her eyebrows.
“how’d you know about that?” you asked, as someone came over to grab your arm. you already knew who decided to wrap their arms around your own, yet you looked anyway.
danielle looked right into your eyes, the space between the two of you was nearly non-existent. you watched her eyes as they looked into your own then.. to your lips? you weren’t sure if you were seeing what was right in front of you correctly. danielle was the first to break eye contact.
“how’d you know about what?” danielle asked, smiling at hyein.
“no. no no. what was that?” minji interjected out of nowhere, pointing at you and dani. “what was what?” you laughed nervously. was it hot? it seems to be getting even hotter here.
minji just hummed, slowly nodding her head but watching you and danielle with a stink eye. you rolled your eyes in response as you recognised both hanni and haerin walking towards the group. they were both snickering between each other, looking at something on hanni’s phone.
it was when they both looked at you with grins that you knew it wasn’t anything good.
“a little birdie dropped a photo of you last night y/n!” hanni snickered, showing you a photo of yourself sprawled out on danielle’s bed. you were lying on top of some papers and still had a pen in hand.
you felt danielle let go of your arm as haerin chuckled on the side. you suddenly missed the warmth at your side and so you turned your head sharply towards danielle as she looked away quickly, pretending to look busy. she had her hand behind her neck, avoiding all eye contact with you but she was wearing this big smile on her face.
“has the school lawn always looked so green?”
you flicked at danielle’s temple, watching her poke out her tongue in a smile. you watched her with a smile as the morning sun hit her face at the right angle. she looked so beautiful. you knew there were four pairs of eyes eyeing both you and danielle intensely, but that didn’t stop you from admiring your friend.
hyein suddenly wrapped her arms around both your and danielle’s shoulders.
“okay! now, you may kiss the bride!” she exclaimed, leaving both you and danielle startled and flushed.
you and danielle sat side by side, surrounded by books. this time around, you both decided to work in the library.
“ok, so, i think for the project we should set it up like this,” danielle explained, showing you examples on her laptop while jotting some notes down in a notebook. you nodded in agreement, giving danielle some of your own notes and ideas.
the two of you work well together, as if you both shared the same brain. you both fed each other ideas and ran with it. it was natural for the two of you, being able to connect and then lock in.
danielle put her pen down to type something on her computer, you writing something down in the meantime. as danielle went to reach for her pen again, she accidentally knocked it down. you noticed the pen fall from your peripheral vision and so went down to reach for it. danielle went to grab her pen as well, her hand colliding with yours for a brief moment.
you both freeze. you’ve touched hands before, even held hands. so why was this any different? touching her hand sent a shock through your body—traveling from your hand all the way up your spine.
you turned your head to look at danielle before taking back your hand, letting her pick up her pen.
“um, sorry,” you muttered, holding your hand. danielle flashed you a smile before reassuring you that it’s fine.
you were lying down on a patch of grass, looking up to the clear skies above you. you could hear minji and hanni bickering about something, but you didn’t pay much attention to it. all you knew was that danielle wasn’t here, she was stuck in one of her classes and so you were left missing her during lunch.
“so, what are you gonna do?” hyein said, poking at your shoulder. “do about what?” “you know, your big crush on dani!” you quickly sat up to cover her mouth, looking around cautiously before you took your hand off her mouth.
hyein looked at you with a pout as you glared at her.
“no ‘cause i agree with hyein. when are you going to make a move?” haerin interjected. you opened up your mouth to say something, before closing it momentarily.
“she’s just a friend,” you said with a nod.
you watched as hanni and minji slowly stopped bickering, opening their ears to your conversation.
“that’s exactly what adrien said about marinette, now look at them,” hanni exclaimed, pointing her finger at you.
“who?”
“the dumb blonde and the blue haired girl from miraculous ladybug.”
“ooohh..”
“no, seriously though. do you plan on making a move?” hanni asked curiously. you looked at her and shrugged your shoulders.
“i mean, i think i’m just gonna wait this out,” you reply with a heavy sigh.
“excuses i hear,” hyein continued to pout. you smacked her arm with a frown. “hey, i’m just sayin’! she’s probably thinking the same as you! you could totally make a move and get her hand in marriage or whatever,” hyein smiled.
“man, you gotta start respecting your elders,” you snorted while poking hyein aggressively, making her squirm and giggle. “what do i even say if i hypothetically ask her out?” you questioned.
minji raised her finger as if a light bulb went off in her head. “you could tell her you think she’s cool!” she said confidently. “that i think she’s cool?” “yep!” “that’s a stupid idea.” “now look at who's talking about respecting their elders.”
“y/n!” you heard a familiar voice yell out. you turned to look at danielle running towards you and the others. “what are you guys talking about?” danielle beamed, immediately sitting next to you and holding onto your arm.
“nothing important, it’s ok,” you said in response, earning a few judgey glances from the others.
you sat quietly in danielle’s bedroom once more. this time, you were very awake and you made sure not to fall asleep on the papers again. maybe it was just you, but you could feel this tension rising between you and danielle, and it freaked you out. you weren’t sure when it started, but suddenly the two of you have been more awkward around each other.
you raise your head from your notes to look at danielle, noticing that she was already looking at you with such concentration you couldn’t describe in words. she quickly glanced away when you made eye contact with her, a slight pink tinting her cheeks.
you both continued to work in silence for the next hour before you decided that this was enough work for today. you got up from the bed as danielle walked you down to the front door.
you opened the front door before turning back to face danielle. you looked into her eyes, and there was something behind those eyes you couldn’t quite make out. danielle was looking at you with eyes so soft. it seemed so affectionate, and it pierced your heart.
“what is it? do i have something on my face?” you chuckled nervously. danielle was in such a trance, it was almost like she didn’t hear the words that came out of your lips.
“huh? oh, no you don’t have anything on your face. i just.. i was thinking of how well we’re doing on the project!” danielle said hesitantly, flashing a bright smile.
you smiled back before pressing your lips together and walking out the front door. you turned back to look at danielle and waved goodbye before walking off.
you heard the door to danielle’s house close, before you went to fumble your phone out of your bag. you scrolled through your contacts before calling hanni.
“y/n?” she said in concern.
“i need help! i don’t know what happened but there was something in the air and i fear i may have fumbled..” you said all in one go. you let out a big sigh before continuing. “i think i messed up a chance there, hanni.”
“dude, if you don’t call her and tell her you forgot something i might jump you. take your chance, mate,” hanni advised.
you felt your world stop, not hearing another word that came out of your phone. you? take your chance? with danielle? you know you had just called hanni to tell her that you messed up your chance, but it was still nerve wracking to think about making a move.
“y/n? hello? are you ok?” hanni asked with a lace of concern in her voice.
“do you think i have a chance?” you asked hesitantly.
“yes, you do. now go kiss her or whatever,” you heard her chuckle through the phone. “wait, before you do, why’d you call me? do i just have an overwhelming amount of rizz?” she snorted.
“don’t tell the other’s i said this, but yes,” you chuckle. you could hear hanni smile through the phone before she ushered you to go and call danielle.
the phone rang with danielle’s name on the screen.
“hello? y/n? what’s up?” you heard her say, her voice like honey in your ears.
“hey, dani! i, um, i think i forgot something at your place. could you wait for me at the front?” you asked softly.
when danielle gave you the affirmative, you turned on your heel and began to run towards danielle’s house. you ran up to the gate of her house before coming face to face with her.
“so, what did you forget that you had to run back here?” danielle chuckled.
you didn’t say anything, only looked into her eyes as you tried regaining your breath. you inhaled a big whiff of air before exhaling, danielle now looking at you with concern.
“y/n, are you feeling ok?” she questioned.
you gave her a big nod before speaking. “i just.. i almost forgot something important!” you smiled.
you swiftly brought your hands to cradle danielle’s face, and you felt her lean ever so slightly into your touch. you quickly left a kiss on her cheek, watching her eyes widen as her cheeks began to flush. you could feel your own cheeks grow warm as you let go of danielle’s face. you stepped back onto your heel.
“um, bye dani! see you.. later!!” you blurted before dashing off.
hanni
hanni sooo how was it? y/n HORRIBLE I KISSED HER ON THE CHEEK hanniWHAT y/n THEN I RAN AWAY 😭 did i fumble yes or no hanni noooo i mean it could turn out ok! how did she react? y/n… i dont rememerb… hanni U FUMBLER 💀 y/n wait sm1s at the door brb
you walked through your house and towards your front door, opening it to reveal a very familiar face.
“danielle! um, what—what are you doing here?” you stuttered. you watched as danielle heaved and heaved, clearly catching her breath.
did she run to your house? why would she do that? did she run to you to reject you? different thoughts continued to race through your mind before danielle began to smile.
“i, um, i almost forgot something!” she beamed before rising to her toes.
danielle held cradled your face like you did before to her. you could feel her breath on your lips.
“we’re both such forgetful people,” you murmur. you heard danielle hum in agreement before she closed the space between the both of you.
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today on scenes in dr that haunt me
sailom pulling the fork towards himself while feeding. you ain't subtle boy
#im sure this has been done before but i wanted to anyways#i did not gif the rest bc pimfah had too many lines#and subbing all that is Hard#also in the second gif kang looked at sailom's lips before his eyes#just thought I'd point that out haha#dangerous romance#ep 12#1/4#dangerous romance the series#dangerousromanceedit#gifs#naomivents#dr.gif
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tie tying doodles w ramblings on it in tags
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#angela lobcorp#benjamin lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#technically? never sure what and what not to tag#its cute.. the idea of benjamin showing her how to tie it. someone else probably dressed her in the first place before she woke up so she#likely didnt know how before. and you know ayin's ass isnt going to do that. besides the tie is reminiscent to benjamin as well#small doodle. wanted to do more i might depending on if i get motivated but her perception would allow her to process it and probably to it#first try. would there be pride? the pride she was able to pick up on such a thing quickly? a promise for later on down the line she would#be able to adapt? perhaps a hope? along with maybe a pride on angelas end for being able to do so. a small joy of able to do it first try.#even if her slower perception granted her a privilege humans didnt. it wasnt so sore of a thing at the moment. the wounds of time and pains#werent as of a all encompasing torrent as the hell she would he sprung into would be. the small joy or pride when she tied it later knowing#the reaction and knowing she got it first try. how capable she was. then for it to fade into monotony and a motion to do. a void of what#used to be there. no one to see and only to remember only to ever remember when she sees the tie that had been so strikingly like his#its like.. the feeling when you were so excited about something maybe you think of being a little silly later. but then it becomes so gutted#and devoid of what used to be there new memories maybe soiling the past experience. only to be left with what a void that you knew had been#filled with a positive light. its not there anymore. 'first try?' what a joke. were now on a try of countless repeats that have lost all#meaning and any ability to even ascribe meaning to.#anyways its only short doodles because im trying to find it in me to make a carmy angela piece and a yesod one rn. little scuffed but i#wanted to draw benj of men and angie#... at least i think she woke up clothed. no damn clue . would make most sense for her to be#it would be a little tortuous if she wasnt. either ayin doing it himself filled with rage and what was created with his own hands that#could never even begin to contain her warm but a mimicry and mockery done by his own two hands#then having to get close and even speak. or order or look at. but if it was in that situation benjamin wouldve done it actually with ayin#just staring through the glass not very respondent as benjamin has to help her into something or tell her what to do. having the man he#followed and was faithful to just... standing there and silent as he tries to help someone confused and only just beginning to become#concious open their eyes for the first time. all in all she was likely clothed before hand. still a bit disconcerting. not even awake or#begining to think at that point all but a body but not even one of flesh but one mechanical and man made - a Doll. given aspects and clothes#benjamin likely gave her a tie at that moment there if she were to be clothed. maybe a small marking of work or pass down?
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The creepy puppet said it
#ok im saying this like ive never played s4m before. but#it has been a long time#a REAAAALLY long time#yeah i bet we will :-) and nothing bad will happen! the big event will be delightful#surely#calling it creepy is unfair. its also cool#and oh. you caught me. im not actually playing it right now#this is a playthrough. BUT THE THING I HAVE S4M ON RIGHT NOW IS BROKEN OK. AND I WANT TO WATCH THIS BEFORE I PLAY GREAT GOD GROVE#anyways. my one and only post about it until im done#which Hopefully will only take two hours#i have officially forgotten almost everything except the big things about this game#i wasnt joking when i said its been a really long time#like 'not since it came out' a really long time#im also saying all of THIS like in talking to someone. im not really#i dont Think anyone i know knows smile for me. key word being Think
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bro what the fuck are they doing with my package
#fun story#i ordered 3 things from hot topic. they shipped but never arrived so a couple weeks later i messaged them abt it#and went back and forth with them for a while bc their customer service agents cant read apparently#before being told i had to call bc one of the things i ordered went out of stock and i was replacing it w smth more expensive#so i call and im on the phone for like a fucking hour missing the 15 minute window i have to eat between jobs#and being on the phone at work for a while lmao#i finally get it done and the guy fucking forgets my apartment number in the shipping address. it's in the billing address tho??#so i email them AGAIN and im like yo your man forgot my apartment number. they cancel that order and place another#the effect this has is that the $14 payment for the more expensive item is cancelled as well. bc again they don't read#so im like sick i will effectively get these $60 pants for $15 (im very good at sales and also manipulating customer service)#but apparently when they replaced the order they put ny apartment number not in the address‚ but as part of my name?????#so i think its fucking up usps. but it came in 2 packages and 1 has arrived so i still have hope. but thats not the end#yesterday guess who fuckin calls me. its hot topic. my original order arrived to the fuckin store in my local mall#and theyre like i think we fucked up bc we just found this package but it says you picked up your order already. do u want it#and i was like yes? not really sure what package to be expecting and its my ORIGINAL FUCKING ORDER#so once this package arrives i will have gotten 2 of the same shirt‚ 2 kiki sign things‚ a sweater‚ and a pair of pants for $40#and i figure i can return one of the shirts and one of the signs that i have duplicates of for store credit of their full price#so anyway yeah. thats been the past 3 weeks for me.
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I may be failing my plan to not make any isat aus. So there's this guy her name is Euphrasie right. What if I took her and combined what could be 3 separate au concepts into one. And in the process forced myself to go back and reread a bunch of shit to make sure I know how to maximally fuck over this sad wet puppy of a woman
#rat rambles#did I ever actually make a proper isat talking tag? I don't remember but erm#stars posting#anyways dont count on me committing to this au too hard since Im mostly eternal gales brained rn but I am rotating ideas in my head#shes always interested me deeply as what am I if not a sucker for women who are mostly silhouettes of a character#I was mostly just thinking abt other ppls aus where she is also looping and was thinking abt how fucked it be for her in general but also#how much more fucked it would be for her if it was Only her looping#because as far as she would know theres straight up nothing that can be done to fix this and shed be stuck in a hell of what shed be sure#is her own creation#and then I thought to myself. what if she then accidentally did a loop while trying to fix it#and then my brain also said but what if loop was also there#so I did some mental gymnastics to ignore the possible problems and decided to take an extra spin on it and just sorta add her to the main#party by having her have basically wished to be able to help them defeat the king to make things right and her getting dropped earlier#on in the adventure so I can fuck around with potential character dymamics more (cough cough siffrin)#and for the actual loops I think it'd be funny if she could remember just like loop but was fully convinced that she was looping alone#so itd be siffrin and her acting at eachother trying to hide their seperate breakdowns while meamwhile loop is just staring at her with a#whole heap of mixed emotions but mostly the confusion of who the fuck is this guy???????#and sif is just like yeah thats secret. shes a powerful craft user who's craft experiments backfired and fucked up her body. duh.#and loop just Knows that thats not true but they have no real way to bring it up properly without drawing too much suspicious#oh yeah and Im calling her secret for now. in my minds eye shes like constantly putting on different fronts in hopes that one of them will#stick but shes been able to get away with it by playing up her belief in change to a cartoonish degree#shes really trying to be strong and not raise suspicion since she does want mirabelle to be able to learn and grow from this just the same#as her own mirabelle before and just wants to be able to fix the broken wish by being there to defeat the king herself#which she had already convinced herself was the reason the wish broke since she was the one stuck remembering#I should reword it to that probably because saying shes the one looping isnt Wrong but asside from sif not remembering it still entirely#revolved around him she was just the one forced to deal with it without any real way of learning how to fix it#and while she never figured out the entirety of the sif stuff it was always him taking to her that reset the loop#so she has. complicated feelings on him. she doesn't want to be avoidant or distant or to dislike him! and as time goes on she does grow to#like him a lot! but its just. hard to look him in the eye sometimes.#and then theres the horrors of the actual main game starting and the slow but horrifying realization of how badly she fucked up
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i just want to draw, this is getting ridiculous
yes it is counter intuitive to draw myself complaining, when drawing is presumably the source of said pain. but it's surprisingly cathartic.
#i started drawing again recently bc my hand hurt anyway#so how much worse could it get#the answer will not surprise you!#also my other wrist also hurts#presumably from using the mouse and typing? not sure#either way it's bullshit and i want a refund#for those wondering yes i have rested#a lot#yes i've worn braces and seen doctors and gotten tests done#nothing has worked and it's been almost 3 goddamn years#the answer is probably something like#'rest for 1-2 months straight with no exertion and then immediately go into PT for another few months to recover before doing anything else#but without a guarantee that would work i can't exactly do that#also i dont have access to PT anyway#im rambling i'll stop#sketch#sketch art
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actually so funny (it isn't) that everytime i struggle to do something and i tell my parents about it they just respond with "you just have to do it." like. guys. if i could "just do it" i would NOT be complaining about not being able to do it!!
#this has happened so many times. why is that their default response#during online school 'i have 87 missing assignments and i cant concentrate on them. help.' 'just do them?' 'wow why didnt i think of that..#or my dad trying to imply that i had that many missing assignments on purpose??? buddy i am the same kid that would've rather died than-#-miss school. do you seriously think i would be behind on that shit on purpose??? in what world#every single time i struggle to do something and want advice they just tell me to do it. as if i couldn't have thought of that#especially when i realized part of why online school didnt work for me is because school and home were no longer separate#whenever i was at school (or just a general separate place where im Supposed to work on stuff) i could do it just fine#outside of school i would procrastinate so bad and have no motivation or concentration for anything#i told my mom i needed a separate place to work that wasnt my room and my personal computer. she told me to 'just do it'#and suddenly when i have a separate room and computer to work on (especially in a room i already had to work in before that)#suddenly i was able to concentrate! and get shit done!#and yet this same situation will probably happen again lol. bc my parents dont like listening and taking my mental problems seriously#but like. getting my own space allowed me to finish like 5 tarot cards in quick succession. in the previous MONTHS i only finished 3.#'hm i wonder why i could finish so many cards within a week. surely its not because of what my child said would help.'#like it mustve just been that i locked in somehow. not that i got accommodations.#anyway holy fucking essay i just typed out. i need to shower rn anyways. enough rambling from me for now
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i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty
#the golem and the jinni#i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP'#but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is#his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved#which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to#when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change!#and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni#but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him#and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich#what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about)#emotional connection to the jinni in a human way#which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend#(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf)#anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead#BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need#but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart)#which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife#it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me#arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it#if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation#BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him#alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that#although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia#so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE)#BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me#The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are#could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE#im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle#the hidden palace
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i need more of jiro in tlr2 because i think it would be good for uno to have a role model to show him how uncool it is to constantly pick on your brother
#he seemed to really want the approval of commander avallone so if he looks up to jiro in a similar way... i think it would be good for him#because clearly april casey-marie and moja telling him to stop has done nothing for at least 13 years lmao and he needs to be TOLD#now im not saying uno doesnt respect women. he has been raised in a matriarchal household so i don't think that's it#i do wonder if he feels the need to overcompensate because odyn is much bigger and stronger than him by showing aggression#he already knows moja would throw hands with him if he tries anything but he still has the height edge over her#and i'm sure yi has pulled a rise!don and accidentally invented a shock collar before so he knows not to fuck with her either#but odyn is just so sweet and kind and gentle and unbothered by any and all criticism and i think that really gets under uno's skin#i do wonder if turtle biology would make him act out more towards his brother than his sisters but i'd need to look into that some more...#anyway if jiro becomes a beloved family friend who is like 'hey kid fat-shaming your brother doesn't make you a man it makes you a jerk'#i dunno maybe just hearing it from someone outside of the family would help. he did seem embarrassed when tinker 2 found out lol#MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF HIM PLEASE!!#hopefully he's grown out of bullying his brother by tlr2 but i kinda doubt it since that's one of his most interesting character flaws#+ if they ARE going the route of making uno the leader having a leader who also moonlights as a bully is an interesting subversion to leo..
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ghost getting himself a cute, soft girl he doesn't talk about much but is clearly obsessed with and price just thinks it's nice he's finally settled down, approves of the home he's made for himself, definitely approves of the one he's taken for himself.
soap asks kyle if he's seen you and he says, "yep. lovely bird he's got tucked away in her little dollhouse. makes great food, too." soap swears there's a subtle shift in his tone when he says "lovely", a hint of something deeper that flickers in his eyes for just a moment. soap simply sucks on his teeth, letting it slide. (although he knows that kyle's always been one to appreciate the good things in life.)
interest gnaws at him, a persistent itch he can't scratch. price likes you just fine, as does kyle. well what about him? he decides to bite the bullet and goes to simon with a knot between his brows, the corners of his lips tugged downwards. they've shared clothes, bullets, beds. if the other two got to meet you, why can't he?
"ya can come over for dinner on tonight. she'd 'ave my neck if she didn't formally meet ya anyway."
soap then asks, out of genuine curiosity more than anything else, if simon would have kept you in the dark from him hadn't he brought you up himself.
"ya meet 'er when i want ya to, boy, and not a moment before." the tone he takes is unmistakeable. his words are a command, not a suggestion, and soap instantly knows to not push further.
soap nods. "ah'll be there."
"course ya will. she'd be terribly disappointed otherwise."
yeah, he'd hate to have that.
soap sits in the living room, the soft glow of the lamp casting a warm light over the cozy place. with a full stomach and an unfastened belt, nursing a glass of kentucky. he can't remember the last time he ate that well or that much.
maybe it's the alcohol that loosens his tongue, or the fact that he wishes he also had a sweet little thing to keep at his side just like simon's doing with you now, but the thoughts he's been mulling over all evening since he first saw you tumble out of his mouth.
"while ah can attest to yer taste in sweethearts, can't say much about your alcohol. bourbon, LT?" he says, chest warm.
simon's arm tightens around your hips, fingers splayed possessively over your thigh. he shrugs, completely unbothered by the backhanded compliment. "can't be perfect in everythin', can we, sergeant?"
soap's cheeks burn furiously hot when you come to his defense with a smack of your palm onto simon's chest. "be nice to johnny. he's got a face that make up for some of his other flaws."
the teasing lilt in your voice unashamedly gets his southern blood pumping. he can't help it if certain things stir when someone as pretty as you look at him like that. soap swirls the amber liquid gently in the glass while keeping his limpid eyes on you, not even trying to hide the fact that his gaze hasn't wavered since your cheeky little comment.
you then whisper something in simon's ear, your cupped hand not even half the size of his head and soap has to rearrange himself from the outside when your teeth catch your bottom lip. simon looks up at you then, eyes heavy and half lidded, and a smirk plays at the corners of his mouth.
"'m not sure, love. you'll just 'ave to ask 'im yourself. go on."
you open that sweet mouth of yours, but simon cuts you off with a decisive wave of his hand. "no. you know how to ask for things."
your reaction to that is visceral, and you're on your knees faster than his alcohol-muddled brain can comprehend. don't look down 'er shirt, don't look down 'er shirt, don't-
"johnny, will you touch my pussy?"
he splutters at your question, completely taken aback, but it seems you're not done just yet.
"hands to yourself, sergeant. tha' not all."
you pout at simon, one that earns you a look that promises consequence, but do as he says.
"will you touch my pussy, johnny? pretty please?"
#this got away from me sorry yall!!!#yeah i had so debated having ghost be like nope pricentaught ya better than that but#simon seems the type to get things done on the first time#either you learn or your arsecheeks learn#something will give soon enough#price says he's coming back for seconds tomorrow#kyle gets his on saturday#all for one strikes AGAIN i'm afraid#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#x f!reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#soaps shaken after in the group chat like yall uh yall got dessert too or-#simon ghost riley smut
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sore and satisfied
words: 1k
warnings: 18+ only!!, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex (reader is on birth control), dubcon!!, mentions of baby trapping, kinda pregnancy kink? its more of a control thing, dom!rafe, kinda fluffy at the end??, manipulation, bruises
“no.” you whine, feeling rafes rough hands cup your cheeks as he raises your face up to meet his. “im still sore from last time.”
“but you felt so good, right?” rafe questions, his lips ghosting over yours, his breath hot against you, making your mouth drop open, expecting the fierce kiss.
“yes…” it did feel good, even through the rough pounding and spankings and rafe gripping you so tightly you still have bruises.
“and ill be much gentler this time, baby.” rafe finally gives you a kiss, and it's like he's trying to convince you of his ability to stay gentle as his lips glide over yours.
“promise?” you whimper, hands gripping onto rafes shirt as you already start to go weak in the knees.
“of course baby.” rafe grins down at you, and you should have known what that grin meant, but you let him take you upstairs anyways.
his hands are gentle at first, undressing you carefully and praising you, celebrating every inch of your body that gets revealed.
“such a pretty pussy.” rafe says, cocking his head to the side as he looks between your thighs. “already looks ready for me to fuck.”
“need a little-” you're about to ask for something, for rafe to use his mouth again or rub you with his fingers, anything to open you up more, when rafe stands suddenly.
hes stripped naked before you can even blink, cock hard and jutting from his muscled body.
“i thought you said-”
“i haven't been rough yet, have i?” rafe will fight you to get inside your cunt if he has to, but he prefers you be pliable enough for him until he begins fucking you.
“n-no.” you admit, spreading your legs a little wider. sure, you'd prefer to be a little wetter, but if rafe is taking things slowly and gently you should have enough time to open up.
“exactly.” rafe says, letting out an exasperated sigh. “im gonna fuck you now and i don't want to hear you complaining.”
that's when you know you're really in trouble. rafes nice streak is done as he lays himself over your body, not bothering to hold himself up and dropping his full weight onto you.
“rafe!” you squeal out as his cock pushes against your entrance, hesitating for just a beat before he's pushing into you.
to rafes credit, he holds back somewhat. waits just a moment before he begins his punishing strokes, so hard and fast your head is instantly spinning.
rafes hands grip the same bruises on your hips, deepening them again, turning them into darker spots for everyone to see next time you don a swimsuit.
“mine.” rafe growls out, pressing a harsh kiss to your lips that's all teeth and tongue.
you let out a cry when he bites your bottom lip and gives it a tug, but the rush goes straight to your traitorous pussy.
you can feel your wetness growing as he fucks you, your walls becoming slicker and easier to move against.
“that's it.” rafe praises you. “can feel how much you like this.”
you want rafe to stop teasing you, it's bad enough he's abusing your pussy, he doesn't need to add to it with his words too, but even as your hands come up to cover face, he continues.
“my little slut. bet you can cum from just my cock. won't even have to touch your dirty clit to have you gushing around me.”
you know he's right. you can feel your orgasm building despite wanting to beg rafe to slow down, feeling the near painful stretch inside of you and the soreness growing exponentially as he fucks your already hurt pussy.
“soon you're gonna always be ready for me. ill rip your panties off and you'll already be soaked. and the best part is-” rafe is grunting as he talks, his fantasy expanding as his cock pummels you. “you won't even mean to. it'll be your bodies response to my body. trying to protect itself, make it easier, cause less pain.”
“and it will be better for both of us then. you just need to adjust to this, baby.” rafes voice moves to an almost sweet tone, so close to comforting if it wasn't for the fact that he's taking you raw as he talks. “then ill be able to fuck you so easily. and as often as i want without having to worry about your little pussy hurting.”
“okay.” you whisper. you're not sure if you can form any more words, but it's satisfactory enough for rafe as he presses a kiss to your lips.
“gonna cum inside you real soon. gonna fill you up. think you can get pregnant for me baby? swell that little tummy up?”
“rafe.” you pout, a few tears slipping down your cheeks. “stop teasing.”
“aw come on, we both know you're on birth control.” rafe rolls his eyes, but it doesn't stop him from imagining claiming you, showing the world proof of your fucking, proof that you're his and only his.
“but one day ill get you off of it. if i can't convince you maybe ill just have to switch your pills out for placebos. you won't even know until your tummy starts to swell.”
“rafe!” your tone is harsh, and it doesn't go unpunished as rafes thrusts reach even deeper, so far inside of you that you're squirming to get away only for rafe to hold you down into the bed, the mattress squishing under your combined weight.
“gonna cum right into your cervix since you're being a brat.” you can feel when rafe presses against it, your eyes widening as your high suddenly breaks, wetness gushing around rafes cock just like he knew would happen.
your pussy clamps down on rafes cock, keeping him sucked in as he starts to cum, long spurts releasing into your cunt as rafes moans and curses fill the room, echoed with your quieter whines and gasps.
“how's your pussy feel now baby?” rafe asks.
“sore.” you pout, which rafe quickly kisses off your face as he pulls out.
“fine, won't fuck you anymore then since you always complain about it hurting.” rafe shrugs, feigning like he's getting out of bed when you grab his hand and pull him back to your side.
“no!” you say quickly before taking a breath and settling in next to rafe. “no, i never said that.”
“exactly.” rafe puts his arms around you, tugging you into his chest, keeping you close to him, right where he wants you always.
#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#obx smut#outer banks smut#rafe fic#rafe fanfic#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#rafe x oc#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x oc#rafe cameron x reader#rafe imagine#rafe blurb#rafe drabble#rafe one shot#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron drabble#dom!rafe
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hungarian/nomadic magyar tumblr circa 998AD dashboard simulator
🏞️ vándor-ló-979 Follow
not yall still spreading emese's foundation myth??? she literally claims she fucked a bird????? like either she's lying or she cheated and she's trying to cover it up or well. i dont even want to consider the third option
🪺 magánügyek Follow
tengri forbid women do anything???
735 notes
🦅 szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow
okay im sick of the discourse let's do this.
8,572 notes
🐎 istván-rovására Follow
that took so long lmao -> !!!!!!!∧◇ᛏ⋈∧
481 notes
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
i'm so serious rn if you support """istván""" in any way just unfollow and block me. we do NOT need him or his dumbass god and what he's been doing to our people to spread his religion is shameful.
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
btw we all know your real name is vajk stop larping as a christian it's EMBARRASSINGGGG
✝️ esztergom-örökké Follow
love seeing my mutuals reblogging this /s anyway op has multiple posts on their blog supporting quartering and human sacrifice. in case you were wondering. anyway stand with István
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
1) we dont even do human sacrifices, are you fucking stupid??? show me ONE post where i talk about that. 2) are you seriously forgetting that your bestie istván LITERALLY QUARTERED HIS UNCLE?????
#sorry to put this dumbass on the dash😭 dont even engage just block them #ur not making it up the tree of life lmao #discourse
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🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow
friendly reminder that just because you're white passing doesn't mean you're not a real magyar!! people with mixed parents are just as valid <3
🏇 attila-népe Follow
cranky coz ur ancestors decided to mix with the europeans arent you
🧺 lemezelő Follow
isnt your girlfriend literally frankish????
🏇 attila-népe Follow
you had to have done some serious stalking to find that💀 and first of all i didn't have a choice, my parents picked the tribe, and second of all she's not my "girlfriend" i got her via ritual kidnapping (WITH consent. before anyone gets weird)
🌐 a-kiber-kovács Follow
Couldn't you have kidnapped another magyar woman? Or someone from another mongoloid tribe?
🔅 hadúrsimp Follow
ohh sure so now human pet guy is gonna chime in to advocate for the kidnapping of our women while being lowkey racist. what are you even doing on nomadblr????
🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow
what the fuck happened to my post
19,276 notes
🪔 rakabonciás Follow
for the nth time, you're only a true shaman if you were born with teeth OR with extra fingers OR in the sac. the rest of you are faking & we can tell.
🦅szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow
okay people keep spreading this but this is literally just wrong?? like congrats on the 6 fingers op im glad u and Little Golden Father have a special connection (genuinely) but like. táltos and sámán and mágus and garabonciás and javas etc are all different things with completely different requirements and life paths which you should definitely know if you're claiming to be one?? especially since your post says shaman but you're listing the criteria for a táltos, and your username looks like a play on garabonciás so. which is it🤔 maybe get your facts in order before trying to gatekeep
anyway don't listen to op!! your connection to the Upper World is yours alone and you're the best judge of what the Fathers and Mothers want your path in life to be!!
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🛐 mea-culpa Follow
It breaks my heart that the majority of my people still refuse to see the One True God and insist on sticking to their pagan spirits. I fear that when judgement day comes, we will all be wiped out thanks to their foul godless ways.
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
how tf am i godless when i literally have dozens of gods? little mothers and little fathers are in everything all around us & it must suck ass to live in a world where you're not surrounded by the small gods that inhabit everything. manifesting that the fene and the guta tag team beat your ass tonight
🔅 hadúrsimp Follow
hadúr will literally strike op down personally. he told me himself. whispered it to me sweetly even
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
while i agree with you, i feel like you might also have ulterior motives, nomadblr user hadúrsimp
#but live your truth! doubly so on the posts of these freak repressed bible lovers. meanwhile on the #COOL side of magyarhood we walk around butt ass naked!!! op have fun never experiencing joy ever again tho #discourse
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👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow
posting from an alt so i don't get cancelled but lowkey i'm starting to think koppány was right.... maybe this christianity thing isn't gonna work out after all
👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow
WRONG BLOG
👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow
THIS WAS A JOKE. IGNORE THIS
🪺 magánügyek Follow
ISTVÁN????????????? 💀
#the usernames wont make any sense unless ur hungarian and insane about the era im sorry. i hope the rest is funny to foreigners too tho🙏#i woke up in the middle of the night and typed out the majority of this then fell back asleep#hopefully that provides some nice extra context to jt#it's especially funny coz I've been meaning to make this post for like. legit at least 7 or 8 months now#so ig inspiration struck in the middle of the fkin night. finally. well here you go#dashboard simulator#dashboard sim#history#hun mythology#mythology#hun culture
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HI I LOVE ur lads headcanons ‼️ idk if u do angst but im feeling some angsty/hurt/comfort........... can i pls request the lads men's reaction to the reader rejecting their confession bc we think they deserve better...... someone who doesn't have a heart condition (like the mc) or something........
Oh my gosh, thank you so much!! And oh man, I love angst and hurt/comfort, as long as I get to give it a tiny bit of hope/a happy ending! I felt this one though, I've thought about it before with my own MC…….. a few dozen times- Hope you enjoy, and thank you for the request! <3
Love and Deepspace Li’s reactions to you rejecting their confession due to feelings of inadequacy
Rafayel -
Rafayel is… surprised, to say the least.
Not only do you not have any memory of him or the things you did together- the things you did to him- but you also are straight up turning him down when he finally realized that he needs to confess to you all over again.
He's pretty upset.
It'll definitely turn into an argument, and you know he's hurt. Damn, you're hurt too, just having to turn him down. He makes you feel something, like you're special. Like you're everything to him. Like you're not…
Broken.
And it'll come out eventually. Maybe not blatantly so, but in small ways, your feelings of inadequacy will start to leak through the cracks that are forming in your resolve as you try to refuse a man who has already been refused his love by fate and prophecy for far too long.
And somehow, that makes it so much worse. Because he can fight fate, he can go against the currents of time and the ever evolving cruelty of human nature. But he can't do anything about the feelings raging inside your own head.
He's sure going to try though.
Angrily but calmly, he will start firing off things he has done for you, just because he's loved you so much, throughout all of your time together and even before. He doesn't know if it'll make it worse, make you feel like he already does too much for whatever it is you see yourself as, but he's going to do it anyway. And slowly, it'll start forming into the things you two do together- the things you've done for him when he needs you.
And you're going to be there a while, because until you start to realize, until he starts to chip away at that dark feeling in the deepest reaches of your mind and heart, he's not going to let up.
Not now, not ever.
Sylus -
He's a bit taken aback, but he's not particularly surprised. He had seen this coming, mentally prepared himself for it, even. He knew after his treatment of you when the two of you had just met again for the first time, that any sort of official relationship between you two would be tricky to get to. Especially putting an actual label on it.
He'll be a lot more surprised when he reads between the lines at your words, and realizes it's not because you're still scared of him, but because you don't think you're good enough for him.
"You can't be serious, sweetie."
He's not going to force you to accept his confession, but regardless of how timid or aggressive you become, whether you escalate it vocally or try to exit the conversation, he's not arguing with you. He pretty much refuses to, as he instead begins to state snarky facts as he crosses his arms, watching your reactions as he does.
"When you patched my wounds a month ago, was I not deserving of your hands caring for me because they were shaky and belonging to you? How about that girl you muttered about that we saw at the café who was mad at her boyfriend to the point of shouting, when he didn't get her the right cake she wanted? Are you saying you're worse than her? Helping me on jobs simply because you want to exist near me is… not good enough for me?"
"Sylus, that's not what I'm saying-"
"Oh don't worry sweetie. I know exactly what it is you're saying. I just know it's a particularly misinformed, self loathing thought for you to be having. Don't you think it's insulting for you to decide who I give my love to? After every calculated decision you have witnessed me make?"
He'll finally soften, reaching out a hand to gently rest on the side of your neck, his thumb brushing against your cheek in a gentle back and forth.
"You don't need to be concerning yourself with what I deserve in a partner. You should have faith in my opinions, if not for yourself, but for your confidence in me, sweetie. After that, the rest is up to what you truly want in your heart."
Zayne -
His reaction is definitely the most reserved initially, especially until he realizes why exactly you're turning him down.
He definitely has the passing thought that maybe you're just misunderstanding him again, just like back with the snow seals when the two of you were still kids.
When he realizes that's not the case, and instead, it's your own internalized feelings, he's first a bit relieved, and secondly- pretty perturbed.
"It's interesting to know that's your perspective, given how much you enjoy those fictional stories with ironic pairings. I would think that it would be the most romantic thing for a heart patient to be in a relationship with a cardiac surgeon.
His biting but well-meaning quips aside, he's not quite sure how to break it to you that he used to be in a similar boat, and still is to some capacity. Which is partly why he's a bit upset to understand your perspective.
He's genuinely surprised you haven't processed the timeline of the two of you and your lives. Your accident that caused the state of your heart, his leaving to study medicine and become a specialist in cardiology and a renowned cardiac surgeon- are you not able to see that it's not an inadequacy for him, but his own lack of knowledge when you first started having issues made himself feel inadequate? Why he left without a word for years in the first place?
And not just that- it also applies to other fields too. He has no issues helping you where you need him, because he knows the extent of your capabilities, much like he knows his own. And he will spend forever if he needs to, to show you that loving is not about who does more. It's about doing what your partner needs, no matter how much or how little that is, and loving each other through every hard moment.
And you're about to hear every ounce of his convincing, opinions, and own feelings, until you start to see. Until you finally see.
Xavier -
Unless you tell it to him straight, he's not going to know why you rejected him. He'll be hurt, but he'll accept your rejection graciously and politely, before trying to figure out just how to get you to accept it.
There's an increase in claw machine dates, movie night invitations, and how much he helps you with missions or even just around your apartment. Eventually, you process the weird behavior and you're all but forced to confront him on really truly why you rejected him.
It's Xavier, so you try to play it off as a lighthearted situation or a joke, but you can see his expression darkening, and you're not sure if it's because of him being upset at your words, or realizing just how much time he has sunk into you with how... broken of a person you are.
Turns out, it's the former!
It's hard to not realize such, as he's pulling you into the tightest hug he's probably ever grabbed you into.
For a while, it's just you and him standing there, with him squeezing you tightly and you not knowing what to do with your hands or the lump rising in the back of your throat. He doesn't really know what to say, but he does know he needs to say something.
"I'll definitely make you see that you're more than enough for me."
"Xavier- that's not how this work-"
"I know, and I don't care. I- I need you to know that you're everything to me. You're not inadequate, or broken, or anything you've been telling yourself. You're more than enough. You're more than everything to me. And I'm not going anywhere until you finally understand that."
#.writey#love and deepspace#lads#x reader#lds#lnds#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace xavier#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#.req
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Oh baby my brain is crashing
#rat rambles#the staying up til 4 am is finally hitting for realsies I am now incapable of thinking#which is very uncomfortable so I shalst be showering and then hopefully Ill go to bed before 4 am lol#not to say I havent been thinking abt jackie anyways shes so silly#she's such a bad person but shes also my silly middle aged woman#shes so passionate abt her research and abt learning but as time goes on it shifts into almost obligatory#shes no longer a scientist working in a field shes passionate about. she runs a company that is openly for profit and has forgon morals so#much that a great deal of attention much be made to making sure they are not forced to deal with the consequences of such and it just#continues to spiral downwards as jackie becomes more and more of a husk of a person#its all her fault and she sucks so much and I love her sm#because underneath it all shes still a sentimental person and she still does value olivia on some level#not nearly enough. and she sure as hell doesnt respect her. but she hasnt managed to fully shed everything abt her past self#Im sure there is a part of jackie that wants to be able to be close with olivia again. but she still fundementally does not respect her#she hides things from olivia that she knows she would be against and still expects them to remain professional when discussing said things#jackie wants an olivia who is helpful to a fault and not the woman who she loved so dearly before#jackie is just a very selfish person whos ambitious to a fault to the point she couldnt stop if she wanted to#shes dug herself into such a deep hole that she cant remember which direction the surface is#maybe she thinks shes digging upwards. perhaps she was at a certain point. maybe she is and it simply doesn't make a difference#its why I dont particularly hunger for late story jackie logs because ultimately I think its better we dont know how she handled the fall#remorceful or not it doesnt change what shes done and what is going to result from her actions. its all already played out#multiple times before and multiple times again#I do want to see more of jackie's emotional side but I rly dont think we need a full jackie being sad monologue or smth#oni is ultimately a tragedy and I think that getting to rly truly see jackie before if all started going so downhill would do wonders#and as Ive said before I want it to be soooo small and unimportant to the greater story#just smth small and everyday even non dialogue would work to me#like to be completely honest even just a grocery list from her college years would probably tell us so much abt her#anyways back to having a crashed brain and showering this got out of hand lol
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